Cartoon brinksmanship

July 3, 2009 – 3:47 am
Awash in nothing but hubris, dishonesty and hypocrisy.  Ladies and gentlemen, the post modern GOP. E-mails released today between Palin and Steve Schmidt, McCain's best boy and chief strategist, are astonishing  in the contexts of hubris, dishonesty and hypocrisy.  The subject is her husbands seven year membership in an organization who's primary objective is to foment for Alaska to secede from the goddamn Union. See, I really don't care about this kinda crap, though there is a much bigger picture.  She's dumb.  She doesn't get it.  Further proof this woman is not fit to clerk at a 7-11,  much less governor a state.  Will she run?  Too stupid no to.  God told Joe The Plumber to walk away and that is sad.  That could be a good time had by all.  We here at brainspank sighed wistfully in harmony.  I find that God is often wrong. She remains the the single brightest star ...

Hey macarena…….

July 2, 2009 – 5:20 am
My problem is with the shape of Norm Coleman's head.  That and his giant teeth.  A thin lipped rictus framing nightmare white tombstones.  I'm so hoping that despite what Franken said yesterday, he'll wade in and stir shit up.  Please.  He is painfully bright, a math jock at Harvard and very funny.  The long standing rivalries between him, Bill O'Reilly and the Human Shitsmear Limbaugh, are enough for me to sponsor him for Crew Chief of all he would survey.  His colon is clean.  He is not full of shit. Word to Obama and the all the pantywaste Democrats.  You are out of excuses.  You now have a filibuster  proof majority.  If we don't get health care, the repeal of Don't Ask Don't Tell, the lobbies of AIPAC, insurance, the military industrial complex, energy and financial put in their respective places...........well then we'll know for sure that the only difference between ...

Current events

June 30, 2009 – 3:45 am
Michael Jackson.  I'm a fan.  Brilliant pop composer.  Tragic.  Bona fide ElvisBelushiAnnaNicoleChrisFarley syndrome.  I don't believe he was a pedophile but he sure did some stupid shit.  I can't but think his persecution and prosecution for child molestation tore at his most human fibers.  It really was his proverbial straw.  It was then  he began to fold. I'd always kinda liked the music, but only in the periphery.  He sealed the deal with me when he let  Eddie Van Halen tear it up on what would be one of his biggest songs.  Brilliant move.  Gave all us naive white boys an open door.  Brave if you acks me. He was damaged and Papa Joe is clearly a sociopath.  The face is of evil.  I see an asshole.  What disturbs me the most is the inevitable slow but hot coal lambaste by the media.  Sheezus.  Randi Rhodes and Tom Hartman were all over ...

A&M chapter eight

June 29, 2009 – 5:12 am
After almost too long, I needed to step up to the plate again.  I lobbied the powers that were, Mark Harvey, and got a gig in the mix room with Ggggarth Richardson, he stutters, and Joe Barresi on an L7 mix.  Garth producing. I knew Joe and Garth pretty well.  Garth called me the demo king and later the donut king.  He insisted that would be my credit and I dared him to do it.  Joe and Garth brought consistent business to A&M and Garth was part of the Canadian contingent.  There always seemed to be a disproportionate number of Canucks in music production but I liked them all.  Randy Staub and Bill Kennedy both mentored me.  Bob Ezrin (Pink Floyd, The Wall) is a Canadian and he is one brilliant man.  Google him, you'll see.  Garth did the first Rage Against The Machine record, arguably their best. Joe became the shit.  ...

The Powerhouse

June 28, 2009 – 6:23 am
I've just discovered Oscar Mayer cheese dogs.  A big delish.  I eagerly anticipate test driving them with a variety of condiments including Claussen dill spears and of course, Big Bob's Bleu.  Countdown to angioplasty.  Harbinger of heartburn and a guaranteed culinary delightful.  I need to buy an onion.  Excellent texture and authentic whang.  Got me plenty of ketchup and mustard. Can't always afford those smoked white turkey franks from Ballpark.  I'm a whore for good tasting nourishment.  Will need to explore cheap asian noodles again soon.  Another jar of peanut butter. I'll need a glass of Woolite, a glass of Kim Crawford sauvignon blanc.  The Crawford is the shit.  Very grapefruit with good acid.  Order salt & pepper calamari and the seared ahi appetizer at PF Changs.  If they don't have the Crawford, throw a fit and opt for the Estancia pinot grigio.  Trust me, I know how to gamble.  Do this ...

Walk with me…..talk with me

June 25, 2009 – 4:30 am
I ain't askin for much. I always liked the word gendarme so I looked it up.  Big disappointment. I've long since recognized the appeal of wealth.  I admit, I like shiny things.  Actually, I like handsome objects.  Artful globes to leviathan machinery. Used to be I coveted wealth.  Then I made a little money and indulged myself a little.  Bought a nice car.  Developed a taste for caviar and champagne.  Good wine.  A ridiculously expensive stereo.  A house.  Vacations. It all kinda fell apart, slow enough so the way down wasn't crazy in my face but just enough to make me puke now and then. There are magazines still reasonably popular, devoted to things most of us can't afford or wouldn't, even if we had the scratch. I don't covet the pretty things so much as the freedom.  A nice lunch.  Healthy food is more expensive.  I like tomatoes.  Sauces.  Appetizers and good wine. I want a ...

I think I know

June 23, 2009 – 2:56 am
The salient point I'm about to serve up is not original.  It is not mine, I just happen to enthusiastically agree. Names have not been changed to protect a single asshole. Off we go. If I hear another Republican dipshit criticize Obama's reaction to the the Iranian election clusterfuck, when they all know as well as anyone else, for us to intervene or interfere anymore than we have is counter to foreign policy 101, with a country like Iran who's history we've meddled in disastrously, I'll projectile puke. Shut up you idiots.  Our Man's course of action is obvious, informed and reasonable.  What would you have him do? Ridiculous and absurd.  Their own people asking us not to wade into their affairs again.  They are grateful for our support.  Yet they understand better than the royal "we", that any influence perceived as American fuel in this struggle will dilute it and ultimately disease it. Duh. Iranians and ...

Nervous and weird

June 20, 2009 – 1:55 am
More than a little pensive. The citizens of Iran have a profoundly legitimate beef.  One of the best kind.  Noble and justified.  An obviously rigged election.  Blatant.  Ridiculous.  The turn out was over 120%.  Bullshit is the given. Tomorrow may inform us of eventual fate.  The Supreme Leader, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei,  deigned to wade in today on the Sabbath, by vehicle of his scheduled sermon.  Just another day of worship.  He was clear:  Those who "take wrong measures which are harmful, they will be held accountable for all violence." He called President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad "the absolute victor" in last week's election....."  -CNN.com This sucks. I'm spooked.  The difference between these human events and Tiananmen Square for example, is that despite the Iranian government's game face and perseverant campaign to control information, this revolution just may be televised.  Forgive my trite.  I'm not here to obviate something so big and ripe.  I fear what happens ...

I walk the line

June 18, 2009 – 2:40 am
Today I learned of the existence of baconnaise. This brought courtesy of The Daily Show. I'm broke as fuck but I'm headed to Ralph's first thing to get me some.  I've still got quarters.  Sounds like the world's ultimate condiment to me.  Oh my.  The possibilities boggle.  With french fries or on a sandwich.  Combined with sour cream and chives for dipping.  Inside a doughnut.  Fish & chips?  With a squirt of lemon?  This shit is huge.  Could be the best thing since Bob's Bleu Cheese Dressing. Nevermind I said that.  Blasphemy. Sheezus, I'm ashamed. So you know, I'm pretty sure the Bob's gave me the crapanacious the other night when I combined it with generic Doritos.  We're talking volume and velocity.  I was impressed.  Prodigious thrust. Baconnaise.  Fuck me.  Gonna be a really big show. More important was a segment that succeeded in contrasting the reality of the Iranian people with what we've been sold and ...

Orange whip?

June 17, 2009 – 4:44 am
I keep dreaming I'm going over a cliff in something.  Every night.  Sometimes it's not a big deal and sometimes I'm gonna die.  I'm always going over a cliff. The scariest thing about "Man In Picture" is that he just keeps coming.  He never stops.  Once he begins, it never ends.  He is always there.  Relentless.  Nothing to do but deal with him directly until I win or lose.  You should look it up on this very blog under that title in quotes.  "Man In Picture".  On the right hand side under categories.  It's the first draft of a novel I intend to start a rewrite on very soon. It's crude and raw with an under developed plot and narrative.  The bones are there though. It was disturbing for me when I wrote it.  I'm going to make it a book soon.  Now would be a good time for you all to weigh ...
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