It all starts with the bread. It’s gotta be fresh. I use the ciabatta bread from Ralph’s. LaBrea Bakery. You gotta cook it some more. It’s not done when you buy it. It’s fresh. It’s a good thing; I toast it in my fabulous retro chrome toaster.

Wait for it to cool before you apply a thin coat of only Best Foods or Hellman’s to the inside of both slices.

Thinking about the layers of ingredients and the sort of traction or grip they will provide to keep the contents from sliding around during mastication is now worthy of consideration.

You wanna be able to slap it together and cut it in half without it bleeding or toppling. You wanna be able to hoover it without being festooned by gore.

Engineering without a degree.

Apply a quality hummus to one slice. It doesn’t have the viscosity of peanut butter so be as conservative as you can stand because hummus is awesome.  Apply a quality olive tapenade to the other side with the same considerations in mind. It’s oily. It’s fantastic. It’s slippery. Buy these two items at Trader Joe’s.

A thin layer of arugula to the hummus side provides grip for the the slice of smoked gouda cheese that goes on next. Havarti at least.  Three or four thin slices of deli grade mesquite smoked turkey or chicken breast are up to bat.  Roll them up loosely for grip.

Shave some red onion.  Seriously.  Just shave some red onion on it.

Here’s where it gets dicey.  Slice as thinly as possible a suitable tomato(s) circumference to a bread acreage ratio. Tomatoes are important on a sandwich for texture, moisture and flavor. Grind pink Himalayan sea salt and rainbow peppercorns onto them.  The peppercorns speak to the arugula.

And so, for grip and flavor, we add another thin layer of arugula.

Put the tapenade slice on top, bear down a bit when you cut it in half with the serrated blade you should have been using for the tomatoes and Bob’s your uncle.

I recommend the Sofia Blanc de Blanc, not too cold because it get’s austere. The bottle is very festive. It comes in euphoric gold cellophane. It’s got an offset banana vibe.   Garnish the plate with a small side of arugula and olive oil with lemon for acid and some peppercorns to tie it to the sandwich. Cherry tomatoes and shallots or scallions, of course.

You don’t have to eat it all.

I swear these sandwiches are better after they are tightly wrapped in foil for a few hours while the flavors congeal into the caramelized holes in the bread.

Shiny surface out.

Drinks for my friends.