Author Archive

It’s reached the apogee of absurd. Morgan Freeman is schilling for the military industrial complex. Russia, Russia, Russia. Hello Marsha. Fuck me.  America is insane.

He says, “We have been attacked. We are at war.”  Bullshit.  He’s lying.

David Frum, Rob Reiner and Mr. Freeman have teamed up to sell us the euphoric nostalgia of red baiting and cold war paranoia.  Banging the drums for war.

There’s a huge, gaping, sucking chest wound of a problem with this narrative.  It’s not true. There is no evidence at all that Russia acted in concert with the Trump mob to influence the outcome of our election.

Putin sucks.

Trump is a fucking dickbag.

No evidence.

So now, these limousine liberals, these Hollywood elites are teaming up to sell us on this dastardly election intervention by the pinkos.  It’s a Bullwinkle cartoon.  I can’t stand it.  Nevermind what giant assholes Rob Reiner and Morgan Freeman are for playing along.  It should scare the fuck out of you that there’s an effort this organized, on this level, with this singular mission of making you afraid of something you have no reason to fear.

It’s just not true.  This investigation is well over a year old and it’s produced exactly nothing in terms of proof or evidence.  Meanwhile, the proof and evidence that it’s complete bullshit is piling up despite MSM deliberate ignorance thereof.  If they had anything at all, they’d be dropping pamphlets from planes.

While it’s true that Clockwork Orangutan is a waste of oxygen, water and groceries, and while it’s true he’s inextricably mired in dirty financial conflicts with Russia and whatever other enemies of state would have him and his money, he’s too goddamn dumb to have actually coordinated any effort to collude with any entity, foreign or domestic, to alter the outcome of the election.  His son admitted as much.

It’s also true that democratic leaders are just as guilty of shady financial conflicts of interest as any given republican including Trump.  The Clintons would be at the top of that list as their dealings would include not just Russia, but Saudi Arabia, Israel and all the other usual suspects.

Morgan Freeman and Rob Reiner possess a very rare gift and that gift comes with serious, sober responsibility.  I am profoundly disappointed and disgusted with how they’ve decided to leverage that gift.  I’m sick and fucking tired of celebrities fomenting neoliberal bullshit.

WMD’s were the biggest lie of the last decade.  Russian collusion and the existential threat it somehow makes them is a lie just as big and if we’re lucky, only as consequential.

We’re running out of luck.

Drinks for my friends.

Everyday, my tax dollars, your tax dollars, are funding the incineration of innocent people who are absolutely no threat to us whatsoever for a goddamn profit.  Murder and violence in our name.

Syria is not an existential threat to us in the exact same way that Russia isn’t.  That North Korea isn’t. That Iran isn’t. I’m not sure what Yemen did, but they aren’t either.  The same way Vietnam, North Korea, Libya, Iraq et al. never were.  Everyday, America is an existential threat to each and every one of them.

War is a uniquely American way of life. Fundamental to our economy.  We’ve been at war for 224 out of 241 years yet we haven’t actually declared war in over 70 years.  We barely see the soldiers or the veterans anymore but there’s plenty of bumper stickers, posters and memes.

Nationalism is the new patriotism.

How the fuck is having 800 military bases in 70% of the world’s countries a good idea?  We’d never let another country get to 10%.  Britain, France and Russia have about 30 combined.  Go USA.

There are millions starving because life in a country where America, its allies, partners, corporations and private security contractors rain destruction and death everyday doesn’t typically include food, water or electricity on a regular basis.  Iraq, Libya and Yemen have been starving for all three for years.

Obama started his presidency with two wars and ended it with the seven. General Wesley Clark warned us specifically 60 years after general and president Eisenhower warned us broadly. Over 26,000 bombs in his last year alone.  Thousands of innocents murdered.

We bomb every country that doesn’t bank with us. Every country that has resources we haven’t already monopolized.  Bombing and killing shovels money into our banks. We shatter people, families, societies and countries.

Collateral damage.

It’s the business we’re in.

Blaming Trump for this shit sandwich is goddamn ridiculous.  I remember when I had my first beer.

Democrats who think republicans did this all by themselves are worthless fucking idiots.

15 years in Afghanistan to halt poppy production and kill the Taliban.  The monster America created. Thousands dead. $8 billion later. Poppy production doubled and the Taliban more prolific than ever. We fund and supply them to this day.

It’s not just CIA heroin, it’s a trillion dollars in vast mineral deposits. Multinational corporations are on the verge of a monster sick profit.  The poorest country in the hemisphere. Exactly why we are still there.

We’re just fine with not having basic human rights like health care and education, while every other country we pretend to protect, every other country we subsidize, assumes these to be the human rights they are. This is why we can’t have ponies or life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.  You know, inalienable rights.

War is why America can’t have nice things.

If America is sincere about prosecuting the war on terrorism, our military industrial complex will begin committing suicide immediately.  America is the most terrorist state the world has ever known.

Drinks for my friends.

Clockwork Orangutan could be the surest sign that there is a last, dying gasp of breath for government by the people. The lamentable sonafabitch was elected by the rules.

Republicans ran a prayer breakfast for The Camp Fire Girls with proceeds going to widowed grandmothers when compared and contrasted with the democratic primary.  All of it still the dumbest shit I’ve ever seen on TV.

I wouldn’t let this goofecock near my children or let him touch my cats.  If he was begging outside a convenience store, I’d buy more feminine hygiene products than needed for the women in my life so I could pelt him with them on the way to my car.

Because he is a cunt.

That’s my disclaimer because otherwise the Hillbot jackasses would knee jerk to me being a Trump supporter or a misogynist.  The cheapest, laziest and most intellectually dishonest arguments available.

Because they are cunts too.

He got over 60 million people to believe he was something he wasn’t.  He did not cheat.  He lied.  They all do. This man who smells desperation and vulnerability like a pig hunting truffles. He rocked a goddamn kazoo.  Hillary and the DNC were the worst high school marching band any parade has ever seen.  Dissonant and undisciplined to the point of cacophony.  They couldn’t even figure out a message that would resonate because she was completely full of shit.

He’s not going to be indicted or impeached for election fraud, conspiracy or collusion with the Russians, because it didn’t happen.  He played one note.  Over and over.  On a goddamned kazoo.

He’s merely a symptom.

Meanwhile, democrats are actively courting pro life candidates as a solution somehow, to losing every race in sight for the last decade.  They say it’s an opportunity to compromise and attract more right of center voters.

You can’t make this shit up.

Howard Dean, the former presidential candidate turned big pharma lobbyist, now openly opposing single payer health care while running Hillary’s Super PAC, says progressives are “whiny” and don’t want to win because they want “purity”.

Howard Dean needs to sick up that turd he always looks like he just gulped and blow me.

It is inestimable that these party boss jackwagons can’t figure this simplest of shit out.  It’s still, “the economy stupid”.  The majority of registered voters remember when it was possible to have a house, adequate health care, two cars, two college educations, retirement and vacations on a single salary.    If they run another bullshit, bought and paid for neoliberal, he or she will fucking lose and we continue to fold into a third world country because democrats continue to marginalize themselves into a vacuum.

Democrats were supposed to be the bulwark.

It gives me pause.

Republicans love this shit.

Fuck them too.

Drinks for my friends

Bernie Sanders let go the other day that he’s not ruling out running again.

As far back as 2014, I knew that Republicans had exactly nobody to run for president. 17 members of an insane clown posse eventually showed up. Clockwork Orangutan was as laughable as the rest. Nobody took him seriously until it was way too late.

The scenario for democrats is spooky identical today.

They’ve got nobody.  Booker, Warren, Harris.  Wanna buy a fucking bridge?  Zero authenticity.  Three bullshit careers that when combined, don’t equal the span of time of one man doing the right thing consistently for the last forty years.

Regular working class democrats need to own not just how bad the Clinton dynasty is but how flawed Obama was.  There was a lot of hope but little change.  He left the country barely better than he found it. Bands aids and antibiotic ointment.  First aid.  Not even a triage for the people in real trouble. Wars raging.  Income inequality and wealth disparity accelerating.  Access to education and health care in entropy and atrophy. Rich getting richer and poor getting the shit kicked out of them even more.

Desperation is no longer of the quiet variety.

It will only get louder.

Democrats have plenty of losers to run against republicans, but they have exactly no one to challenge the Kung Fu grip of whatever the fuck it is that rules us these days. They are out of power, but they are still part of whatever the fuck that rules us these days.

Elections are being won with less than one quarter of registered voters so upheaval and chaos is not only possible, but likely.  All that’s missing is inspiration.

Sander’s age only concerns me to the degree it will be a campaign issue.  As long as his vigor remains as consistent as his vision and conviction, I have zero fucks.  The fact that he’s past the life expectancy for an American male makes him uniquely qualified.

As far as I can see and as near as I can tell, the song remains the same for 2020.  It will be a seller’s market for populism and change.  There will be Trump’s brand.  Fear, hatred and anger. With any luck, there will be Bernie’s brand. Common sense, compassion and equality.  Had voters been given both brands in 2016 to choose from, they most certainly would have chosen the latter.

Give voters a good choice and they’ll take it every time.

Democrats are determined to shit the bed instead of making it.

The DNC may have to have to beg Bernie Sanders to run as one of them.  He has the single best chance of winning the presidency of any third party candidate in the history of America.  The best chance of winning as a democrat.  The best chance of derailing any democrat.  Still the best chance for beating Trump or Pence or Ryan.

He’s the most popular elected representative in America for the sake of fuck.

There won’t be a democratic president without him or his followers.

Drinks for my friends.

He’s not a republican or a democrat.  He’s been both and disparaged both.  Not a liberal or a conservative.  He’s no media genius.  Not a master of distraction.  He’s an abject failure at business.  He doesn’t have a goddamn strategy and he’s not listening to anyone who might.

He’s an idiot. A uniquely American dipshit, appealing to uniquely American dipshits.

I see no profit in the experience of this election.

Apparently, the complete fiction that Russia and Trump colluded to alter the outcome in some meaningful way has taken hold.  Now it’s all irrational fear, distraction from vital issues and the ugly hysteria of nationalism.

Courtesy of the reckless and irresponsible malpractice of American journalism.

Is that true, or did you hear it on CNN?

Hey Russia Maddow, the 60’s called and it wants its paranoia back.

There are so many people so seriously invested in it that a sex tape starring Putin and Hillary dominating Trump with gigantic steel dildos wouldn’t change their minds. They don’t just want to believe it, they need to. It justifies the perceived illegitimacy of the president and supplies yet another excuse for Hillary’s loss.

Trump won his primary the old fashioned way. Against a bag of hammers, but still.  He won the general by the same rules every candidate has for 250 years. Half of us didn’t vote.  He prevailed with less than one quarter of eligible voters.

Math.

Anybody still believing it was Russia that brung us Trump is listening to the sigh of their very own brain rot.  Investigations started a year ago and there is plenty of testimony citing anonymous or confidential sources but not one single speck of actual evidence. Sure, Clockwork Orangutan’s campaign probably conspired in concealing his business ties to those goddamn commie pinkos.  Fiscal impropriety and financial conflicts of interest that likely pale in comparison to those of the Clinton or Bush gangster dynasties.

At least one of them is paying their debts.

The irony is that while democrats are agog and agape, it was the Clinton campaign that foisted Donny Tiny Hands upon us and then unleashed the red scare when he beat her ass.  The irony is the actual evidence that the Clinton campaign conspired with the DNC and the media to rig the primary and orchestrate the demise of Sanders.  Election fraud  admitted to in open court by DNC lawyers as a defense for the fuckery engaged toward this very end.

Donald Trump is a reprehensibly despicable and lamentably stupid sonafabitch.  What he’s not, is an evil genius.  He’s a greedy, ignorant fuck.  Nothing more.  He surprised both parties including himself when he won.  Now he’s going to feed his ego and milk it for all it’s worth because that’s all he knows.

Six days ago, I offered a $100 reward for evidence supporting any of this contrived nonsense on social media. People got positively apoplectic.  Candidates for the nervous hospital came out of the woodwork. As of yet, no one has claimed the prize.   Despite every official report, every news story, exactly zero evidence has been offered by any entity.

A lie that keeps the rotting zombie establishment democrats walking and talking.  A lie that keeps the military industrial complex earning.  A lie that in the end, furnishes Trump with credibility.

Remember when they used to at least manufacture evidence?

Drinks for my friends.

“I’m now the nominee of the Democratic Party. I inherit nothing from the Democratic Party,” Clinton said. “It was bankrupt, it was on the verge of insolvency, its data was mediocre to poor, non-existent, wrong. I had to inject money into it — the DNC — to keep it going.” -Hillary Clinton

She has officially blamed everyone and everything possible besides her deplorable self.

Today’s horror movie starring Donald Trump is brought to you by the excruciatingly awesome hubris and arrogance of Hillary Clinton.

She’s blamed Bernie and his fans.  Jill Stein and her fans. The FBI, James Comey, misogyny, sexism, Julian Assange and his fans. The Russians, The Wizard of Oz, the grocery store clerk, his or her fans. The ghost of Christmas past, social media and all eligible voters everywhere. She is now saying that even though the DNC did everything it could to rig the election on her behalf and at her behest, they deliberately failed her.

Despite the corruption and malfeasance revealed by leaked but not hacked emails, and admitted to in open court by DNC lawyers defending themselves against election fraud, she is blaming the DNC.

This woman has no decency.

Hillary Rodham Clinton is the device and demise of the democratic party.  Her husband initiated it from the left and she is bookending it from the far right.

Even establishment democrats are asking her to shut the hell up.

This party is over.

It is time for them to stop taking refuge in all things Trump bashing and Russia conspiracy and for the rest of us to stop taking solace in it.  Pointing out that an idiot, is an idiot, is hardly constructive or even useful.  Who gives a mad fuck that any of them are better than Clockwork Orangutan?

Exactly how low is this bar?

It was the entire case Hillary brought to the court of public opinion in the general election.

She lost.

I’m done with these dickwits.  I can’t imagine democrats being bigger losers than they are now.  The most astounding thing is how many complete assholes holding office are republicans that democrats couldn’t beat.

Democrats no longer have any claim to authenticity.  People don’t believe them because they keep lying.   Because they won’t take responsibility.  Because they’re still foisting liars at the same pace as the only other party.

Hillary Clinton clearly thinks she still matters.  If the democratic party does not put a fork in her and as much real estate between them and her as possible, they will never win another national or statewide election again.

The only role left for Hillary is to vanish.

Drinks for my friends.

I have zero doubt that Bernie Sanders would have handed Trump his ass.

Neither Hillary or Clockwork Orangutan are politically self aware, they think they’re fooling everyone. She still thinks she won.  They blame everything.

Blaming is the opposite of leading. An abrogation of being elected.  As is losing.

The DNC admitted in open court they don’t owe anybody shit. Not the citizens that give them money. Not the people they mislead into thinking they are represented and not the voters to whom they swore they’d be impartial. No moral, ethical or fiduciary accountability or imperative.

Republicans are infamous for their success at getting the base to vote against their own best interests.“You know the difference in Democrats and Republicans?” Bill Clinton said in a 2003 speech. “In every presidential election, Democrats want to fall in love. Republicans just fall in line.”

Republicans fell in line.  People didn’t fall in love with Hillary while too many fell in love with Sanders and Trump because she was noseblind to populism and Trump had no idea it was his message.

Negative campaigns only work when the candidate is dirty. When the personal and political terrain of a candidate is so wrinkled with corruption and perfidy, the seeds of falsehood find purchase. Media handed Trump $2 billion in policy free coverage at the same time Hillary conspicuously abandoned policy by climbing down into the ditch with him.

Media built the cage, the two ugliest people ever nominated for world sheriff entered, and he beat her ass because of crude but protracted experience.

They were only there because they were ugly.

Hillary absolutely went there with Obama and she lost.  It was hard to watch.  Sanders never ran a single ad that even mentioned her name.  She sent her daughter out to tell old people Bernie would take their health care away.  It was disgusting.  She lost.

Trump had nothing on Bernie. The only thing he knows how to do would have backfired.  What Trump did to Hillary would have been pissing in the wind with Sanders.

I adore Bernie Sanders and I own that he’s sincere.

He’s wrong.

If anyone can reform the party from within, it’s Bernie.

But he can’t.

He’s the best man to try.  It’s too far gone.  There is no more compelling evidence than the last election. The shitstorm between then and now has been appalling. Hello Perez and Bauman and Hillary’s new super PAC.

Don’t talk to me about the popular vote or the electoral college.  Erase the “liberal” bubbles of LA County an NY City and her 2.8 million popular vote vanishes.  Those are the goddamn rules and that’s exactly how Trump won.

It’s not like he figured it out.

It was fucking obvious.

We’re in for a very long night.  Trump won’t be impeached and even if he is, the bench is as deep as it is horrifying.  Pence, Ryan and then the cabinet.  Democrats show no sign of pulling their heads out of their asses.

The only chance the democratic party has is to tell the truth and they aren’t going to do it.  They’re just too goddamn deplorable.

Drinks for my friends.

Thanks for devoting an entire enlightening segment last week to Donald Trump being fat.

Feel better?

You phoned it in from a third grade playground. We all got your particular disgust with the chunkier than thou.  Making fun of fat people is why you’re really popular after all.

It’s far from the first time you’ve done it on live television. Do you enjoy fat shaming the supermarket checker or the the bank teller because they’re even remotely endomorphic?  Why is Michael Moore excluded from your callow bullshit?  How does he feel about your latest adolescent tirade? He’s a frequent guest.  You should ask him.

I can’t picture you making that call.  Because he’s really fat, right?

Is this a hobby or an obsession?  Thin privilege much?   Is it only okay when they’re assholes?  Is that your litmus test?

What does this say about you?

You devoted a second consecutive episode and considerable energy to blaming progressives for Clinton’s demise and Trump’s ascendancy.  It’s cheap and lazy.  It’s intellectually dishonest.  You might think you’re punching down but these people are far better than you.

How can you blame anyone for earnestly and sincerely voting or not voting their conscience, especially in this election, you elite prick?

I’m sick and goddamn tired of your blaming anyone and anything other than the fact that a proven to be corrupt DNC tried to ram the most crooked, the most disliked democrat to ever run for president down our throats. Hillary has a lot in common with Trump. Neither one can bear to take any personal responsibility for their personal failings or mistakes.  They blame everyone else.

Just like their supporters.

Just like you.

Sanders is the most popular elected official in America. Clinton was the most disliked democrat to ever run.  Trump’s numbers are in the basement.

Do the math.

Your precious neoliberal, establishment democrats will never win another national election without us. Ever. The dumbest among them still haven’t figured this out.

Just like you.

Our problem is that the president of the United States is a former emperor of reality television. Our problem is that at the same time his opponent was conspiring against her primary challenger with the full force and weight of her own democratic party, she was conspiring to make sure he was her opponent in the general, with the full force and weight of her own democratic party. Our problem is she fucking lost and now Clockwork Orangutan thinks he’s the emperor of the entire goddamn planet.

What you’re saying however, Mr. Maher, is that our problem is progressives and Trump’s fat ass. Because earnest and sincere voters ruin everything.   Because anyone who’s waist size is greater than their inseam isn’t qualified to appear in public and risk provoking your boorish prejudice.  Because Hillary is merely “guilty of sending emails from the wrong laptop”.

I used to respect you for saying the things no one else would say.  Now you cater to the lowest common denominator.  You’re selling shitty used cars to the cheap seats.

Jump the shark much?

Grow the the fuck up Bill.

Drinks for my friends.

We need to tolerate other people’s beliefs but we sure as hell don’t have to respect them.

I loathe Ann Coulter.  A lying, intellectually lazy opportunist who trades in bigotry and fear for profit.  The cheapest possible example of an entertainer.  If she were an attorney she’d be practicing personal injury, chasing ambulances and advertising on late night cable. I picture her on a bus bench with a pornographic spray paint makeover.

I bet her parents are in hiding.

She has no redeemable qualities.

She looks like her breath stinks.

With that off my chest, I’m profoundly disappointed her access to speak at University of California at Berkely was denied.

Factions of the left are getting a little too shrill for my taste.  They flirt too sexy with censorship.  I can’t help but be reminded of tea party dipshits, mouth breathing their way through rallies to keep government hands of their government furnished medicare and government furnished social security.

Government (constitutional) guaranteed free speech.

Ann Coulter was prevented from speaking because of threats of violence from leftist activists and the university’s lack of certainty in protecting her.  I don’t blame the university.  I blame the youthful zealots.

Why bother championing a voice for the oppressed?   Why bother celebrating free speech for the down trodden, if you seek to censor with a threat of mayhem or physical harm to the antagonist or those that would hear them?

Intellectually belligerent.

Imagine if the powers that be allowed it and she appeared before an empty venue because there was a crazy successful boycott.  That would make headlines.  Good ones.  She has that coming because she’s full of shit.

Passive, agnostic, non-violent excoriation.

Perfect.

The youthful left has gotten out over its skis here.  They believe their actions now are somehow anodyne. I vehemently disagree.  It’s shameful.  It’s disgusting. You whippersnappers are one of the biggest pieces of the puzzle but you need to get off this lawn.

Hold on to your intellectual integrity, your honor, or everything including your credibility is lost.

Grow the fuck up.

Drinks for my friends.

One of the few differences remaining between democrats and republicans is that democrats tend to be suckered by intelligence, while republicans are consistently chumped by stupidity.

The dickheads and bubble headed bleach blonds over at FOX vomit falsehoods with the furious spittle of conviction because barely any of them even have a goddamn college degree. The willfully ignorant can’t get enough of their brand of confirmation bias.

So how is it the brain trust at MSNBC, advanced degrees, scholars, authors and seasoned inside political operatives, can be such brazen and shameful sellouts?  Such goddamn liars?  Intelligent and aware liberals can’t get enough of their brand of confirmation bias.

Russia Maddow was married years before Hillary stuck her finger in the wind and decided lesbians deserved rights and respect.  Dick goddamn Cheney supported gay marriage before Hillary did.  Yet, Maddow was so overtly in the tank for Clinton in the primary as well as the general, it was like watching her rub one out on live television.

I’m sure I’m better at watching television than most people but it’s a dubious distinction. MSNBC bests FOX only because it doesn’t have a culture of bigotry and sexism as far as we know.  Not because it tells more truth.

It’s ignorant fucks versus educated sellouts.

MSNBC competes to be the champion of fake news with FOX on a level playing field.  The information they supply is just as spun and just as much of an agenda minefield. They all lie and not only for ratings. Big pharma underwrites the news in America.  Most other countries have laws against it.  Look for 15 second spots about tactical nukes, cluster bombs and badass assault rifles soon.  Go Dow Chemical and Raytheon.

I imagine a back channel between the two.  Some sort of secret bat phone where they agree to spin the story of the latest breaking news event in opposite directions to obfuscate and distract from the salient or germane.

What amazes me is that this opinion lands me far outside of the mainstream.  Criticize Hillary and you’re a paid Trump troll.  Criticize Maddow and you’re a KGB era commie.  In either case you’re a mansplaining misogynist somehow.  Fuck me if there’s ever been weaker sauce.

Identical bullshit tactics timeworn by bible thumping redneck ultra emasculated paranoid mouth breathing hypocrite conservatives, voting themselves into extinction.  There’s a business model for ya.

America no longer recognizes or gives a shit about nuance or context.  Everything is knee jerk to binary. Left or right.  Democrat or republican.  Conservitard or libtard.  Sexist or feminist. It goes on and on.

Assemble a group of 50 of each and poll them on health care, war, Wall Street and even abortion. All individually and without hyperbole, and 65 to 90 of them will mostly agree.  Mix them together and introduce the same topics, seal the exits and add alcohol. They will beat the shit out of each other.

American media is killing it.

Drinks for my friends.

The media is in gear and firing on all cylinders to topple Trump because patriotism.

Clockwork Orangutan has lost FOX and Bill O’Reilly.

But wait!

Trump bombed Syria because of the child refugees he’s trying to ban right after Hillary emerged from her lair and demanded it. Apparently no Russian or Syrian military were harmed. Somehow, everybody got the memo and the base was back up and running the next day.

Whiplash policy reversal by the new administration has the pro war media cabal confused into submission.  They gush. They call him presidential and decisive. Brian Williams says the explosions are “beautiful”.

Top fuel dragsters firing like pin balls right off the flipper but no actual points scored.

Then he drops the mother of all non nuclear bombs on tunnels built by the CIA in Afghanistan.  The smaller the hands, the bigger the bombs.

Now we’ve got ships steaming to North Korea or maybe not because Trump says if China won’t solve the problem, America will.  All the sudden, Donny is in his element while the media masturbates 24/7 over nuclear world war.

Trump has figured out that as long as he implements the agenda of the military industrial complex, he can do whatever the fuck he wants to the citizenry. If he wasn’t so goddamn dumb, the epiphany wouldn’t have been necessary.  The shortest path to immunity from impeachment is bombing the shit out of brown folks in particular, but any country really.

He’s going to have to do it though.  He only gets to stay if he actually starts blowing shit up. Killing people and destroying infrastructure.  This not even any runways hit is weak short term sauce.

We now know that the pentagon and the CIA are funding both sides of the civil war in Syria.  When Howard Dean, former advocate of universal health care, not so much now as a lobbyist for big pharma, along with other prominent neoliberals, attacks Tulsi Gabbard for calling bullshit to power, you know it’s systemic and pervasive in both parties.  Bipartisan war hawking at it’s most lucrative.

“No different than Trump with Putin”, Dean said.

Fuck Howard Dean in the neck.

People still think this is about democrats and republicans.

“We have become a Nazi monster in the eyes of the whole world—a nation of bullies and bastards who would rather kill than live peacefully. We are not just Whores for power and oil, but killer whores with hate and fear in our hearts. We are human scum, and that is how history will judge us. . . . No redeeming social value. Just whores. Get out of our way, or we’ll kill you….”  Hunter S. Thompson

Drinks for my friends.

The most egregious, efficacious and insidious lie ever sold to Americans by our government is that there’s not enough tax revenue to afford the rights guaranteed us as human beings.

We have no say in what we want as opposed to what we would even consider or tolerate when it comes to what our taxes pay for.

Textbook obfuscation.

This whole bullshit battle over how to solve our health care problem is just that.  Stupid and embarrassing.  Medicare without co-pays or deductibles or any other fees of any kind, for every single man woman and child within our borders, regardless of citizen status, should be implemented tomorrow morning.

The ACA is archetypal legislation fomenting the perjury that the people are getting what they deserve while filling the coffers of the filthy rich.

The Ryan plan to replace it was a cruel joke.  Dead on arrival because it was vicious and hopeless.  A model for insurance companies to increase profits by withholding treatment and cure.  Hundreds of thousands would die and that little prick could not give a shit less.  Actually celebrated by hundreds of people elected to look out for millions of their own people.

Eliminate insurance companies and the problem is solved lickety split.  The profit component of the American health care system is immoral and indefensible.

Just look at the size of that profit and how shitty the care is.

Every human being on this planet deserves this and as the richest country in human history, it’s goddamn criminal that we don’t have it.  The result of a riotous and sustained onslaught of pernicious lies. If we can afford a trillion dollars a year to visit prolific death upon the rest of world, we sure as hell can afford to visit the kindness of a prolonged and healthy life on our own.

There is no intellectually honest debate to be had here.

Single payer.  Universal health care.  Medicare for all.  Whatever the hell you want to call it as long as what we pay in taxes already covers it and not a penny more.  I don’t give a mad fuck if the newest aircraft carrier sinks and the latest fighter jet can’t get off the ground.

Revenue neutral.

The epic fail of Ryancare and the microscope left trained exclusively on the ACA as a result, leaves an ever expanding vacuum in it’s wake.

Now is the time.

Drinks for my friends.

Once Clockwork Orangutan outlives his usefulness, his impeachment will commence. Such a prolific flood of throat raping policy proposals and vicious budget cuts directed specifically at his base isn’t sustainable even though they’re dumb as sticks. He’ll wreak as much havoc with his name on it before they undermine and ultimately abandon him.

Maybe they’ll let him off with some version of ‘hospitalized for exhaustion’ and fuzzy tabloid type photos of him in a hospital wheel chair will be leaked before they trot out a tragic story of his debilitating stroke and Pence gets sworn in.

One way or another he’ll be out of the White House like shit through a goose.

Then we’re really fucked.

I guarantee it won’t have a goddamn thing to do with the Ruskies hacking, colluding or tampering with our elections in any way. I don’t doubt they tried, but there is no there, there.

Maddow’s breaking bombshell last week was a 12 year old tax return that shows Trump is a typical filthy rich scumbag who took advantage of the same loopholes that all the filthy rich scumbags take advantage of. He paid a higher percentage than Obama. Color me nonplussed.

Probably the most he ever made in a single year. He leaked it.

She Rick Rolled her entire audience. Twitter lit up like a Christmas pinata on the fourth of July with faulty wiring and a belly full of jet fuel.

Awesome ratings and demographics.

She’s long since jumped the shark.

It’s burlesque. Shrill, desperate and I’m over it. Trump is a natural disaster of the human kind. All this glaringly unsubstantiated propaganda is only inoculating him for the next scandal. The media is cheap and lazy for crying this much wolf.

Establishment democrats are predictably complicit. Blowing really hard. They’ll be exhausted by the time there’s a smoking gun. They’re all guilty of the same thing, just check their net worth and lean it against their salaries. Check their voting record on his appointees. Liberals being liberals have made the word liberal into a punchline.

Maddow was live the other night with an entire segment on “The Russian hacking of our elections”. A few nights later she had another segment on “The Russian attack”. Maddow is so unhinged that she’s actually begun blaming Russia for the elaborate social media blitz waged by the Clinton campaign and it’s Super PACS on pro Sanders’ sites last spring . She’s lying. There’s no evidence for any of it and there never will be. Rachel Maddow is fake news. I’d rather hold my breath for evidence of Obama taking over all the microwave ovens in Trump tower.

What I’m saying is that Trump is no more guilty of election fuckery than the Clintons or the DNC. Trump hasn’t indulged in any more financial impropriety with enemies of our state than half of goddamn congress along with the Clinton foundation.  If they dig deep enough the exposure could prove the house of cards is stacked higher than the market will bear.  He’s a poster child for narcissistic personality disorder and that only makes him as bad as the rest of them.

The only difference is that he has no control over his inner asshole.

Media carries the water.  They’ve stopped showing us.  Now they just tell us.  They’ve stopped asking questions and started selling answers. They broadcast a corporate agenda.  The conspiracy here is the $2 billion in free air handed to Trump by the media while conspicuously ignoring the other populist movement drawing crowds twice the size.

And we tuned in.

We’re still tuning in. While the liberal media rubbernecks Russia in American living rooms every goddamn night.  While the hearings this week revealed nothing. While the world burns.

Turn off your fucking television.

There is no there, there.

Drinks for my friends.

Friends and neighbors,

There is no third party. Green is not a political message.  The libertarian message is a callow republican advocacy for selfishness but you get to smoke pot.  Libertarians are assholes and the greens parachute candidates in without doing groundwork, homework or hard work. No structure.  No infrastructure.  No character development. No suspension of disbelief. No reason to give a shit.

Health care is a right.

Education is a right.

They aren’t free.

They aren’t a privilege.

Our taxes should pay for them.

Poorer countries make these two things happen everyday without breaking a sweat. They aren’t subject to the ability of their governments to kill as many people as fast as possible no matter what blood and treasure.

Trump’s message was a lie meant for stupid people but it was simple.

He won.

Simple messages work spectacularly well.

The simplest message ever sold to Americans is that we’re broke.  That we can’t afford to take care of everybody. It’s a lie. We’re the richest country in history.  Cut “defense” spending by 25% and end all corporate welfare.  The last things we need this century are more aircraft carriers, tanks, nukes or tax cuts for people who make as much in an hour as we do in a year. That much money, we could go out on a limb and promise to end homelessness, repair roads and bridges, cure cancer and reunite estranged socks.

If a third party in this country were to devote its entire platform exclusively to the health and education of American citizens at the expense of our ability to make war, me and about 10 million other losers looking for free shit would sign up tomorrow. I know I’m reaching here, but a third party in this country with over ten million members would definitely be cooking with butane.

The party manifesto would be explicit. No Bozos. Neoliberals would be seen as no different than neoconservatives. Nobody capable of communicating the insidious pathogen of greed.  Not one goddamn five thousand dollar suit trading in mass destruction or fear of any kind.  No fucking arms merchants or military contractors.  No fossil fuel jackwagons. Not a single greasy banker, Wall Street goofecock or slimy lobbyist.

I understand I could be splitting the atom here.  Marquee democrats like Warren and Booker would never ever get behind something so audacious.  They wouldn’t be invited anyway.  It’s a threat to their promiscuity.  The champagne wishes and caviar dreams of neoliberals will be compromised.

Enough money can be raised from individual contributors.  The paradigm is shifted.  The worm has turned. Some local hero could drop the hammer tomorrow and become the most prominent force multiplier in American politics within six months.  At least ten million people are waiting for it.

A very simple message.  There is no fear, hate or greed in it.  It’s the kind of message that gets candidates elected.  The kind of party that could be viable in a heart beat.

Drinks for my friends.

I want to tell you a story.

It’s a story because I can’t prove any of it although I believe it to be true.

To be president of the United States of America, a candidate has no choice but to meet with the contemporaneous version of Satan at some humid crossroads in the middle of the night not too far from the Mississippi Delta.

The candidate is made to understand that no matter how successful the campaign is, there is a prerequisite.  Parchment requiring signature. Otherwise, forces with which they cannot contend will throw with all available violence and subterfuge against them. If they somehow prevail in the primary without express consent granted by the signed agreement, people close to them will disappear or worse.

This is exactly why and how the Vietnam war was allowed the horrible claim it has on our memory. JFK wouldn’t sign or chose to abrogate. Bobby Kennedy wasn’t going to honor it if he did. MLK and Malcom X weren’t invited.  All assassinated.

LBJ signed.

Nixon was so anxious to comply, he stained it with flop sweat while scribbling his name.

This story of mine is why we have had all manner of catastrophic trade deals, bottom heavy tax policy, seven wars in the Middle East, a dearth of climate change legislation, bullshit health care, ridiculously expensive education and an army of knuckle dragging morons that have no idea about any of it but slogans and ritual talking points. The dark lord has a powerful public relations arm.

The devil only wades in on social issues when they suit him. He doesn’t give a shit about abortion. He’s not bothered by the Gays or Jews or Mexicans or Blacks. He shares no common ground with Clockwork Orangutan’s base except hyper normalized greed. This Lucifer isn’t a democrat or a republican.

He’s both and neither.

However the division suits him.

Hillary signed deals with anybody sporting horns and cloven hooves ten years ago. She ran out of ink. Clockwork Orangutan was as thick as a porcupine with quills to sign any fucking thing.  He doesn’t give a shit what he signed. He thinks he can sue.

It’s disgusting how many marquee democrats have pens ready, awaiting requests for audience with Beelzebub to be granted.  Just in case.

Obama presided over awful things. The TPP and the Israeli apartheid state. Drone bombing civilians all over the world. The filthy getting filthier while the hopeless got even more hopeless.  I can’t stand that I was suckered by the soaring rhetoric only to end up with a business as usual neoliberal lot manager.

I don’t doubt how dirty his hands are.

So yes, in my story, Obama put pen to paper at the behest of the anti-Christ.

I can’t help but like him.  I like his wife. I can’t be wrong to appreciate these people for their class and composure in the face of vulgar adversity.  To admire them for their grace and discretion.

I can’t stand that Trump’s sons can’t figure out what to do with their hair and weak chin DNA.

I have genuine fondness for Obama and his family.

Does all this make me a hypocrite?

Obama never embarrassed me. He disappointed me. Made me furious. He fucked up plenty. Trump is a silver spoon septuagenarian so simple, he doesn’t understand what the people he’s appointing are supposed to do.  He doesn’t care.

Obama inherited a load that would choke a herd. He is a product of our most revered institutions. His record of accomplishment reads like a primer on the right thing to do in America. His ambition was quiet and steady. One can argue that on paper at least, things are better, not worse.  We didn’t go off the cliff we had one hell of a head of steam for.   He’s patient and fucking smart.

They say all politics is local and all too often, personal.  This is personal to me. It’s not hyperbolic for me to say that the ACA quite possibly saved my life.

I can’t help but believe Obama is a decent human being that did the best he could under the consequences of selling out so forgive me for saying he’s pretty fucking cool.

Trump is a raging dickhead.

One is a man, the other pretends to be.

I guess all I’m doing is pointing out the difference.

The contrast in character.

I miss the days when I knew I was gonna get fucked because some democrat was desperately trying to make out with me.

Now it’s as simple as as watching the news, but the shit show is blinding, and even the “liberal media” is lunging for my junk every goddamn night.

Drinks for my friends.

I want to tell you a story.

It’s a story because I can’t prove any of it although I believe it to be true.

To be president of the United States of America, a candidate has no choice but to meet with the contemporaneous version of Satan at some humid crossroads in the middle of the night not too far from the Mississippi Delta.

The candidate is made to understand that no matter how successful the campaign is, there is a prerequisite. Parchment requiring signature. Otherwise, forces with which they cannot contend will throw with all available violence and subterfuge against them. If they somehow prevail in the primary without express consent granted by the signed agreement, people close to them will disappear or worse.

This is exactly why and how the Vietnam war was allowed the horrible claim it has on our memory. JFK wouldn’t sign or chose to abrogate. Bobby Kennedy wasn’t going to honor it if he did. MLK and Malcom X weren’t invited. All assassinated.

LBJ signed.

Nixon was so anxious to comply, he stained it with flop sweat while scribbling his name.

This story of mine is why we have had all manner of catastrophic trade deals, bottom heavy tax policy, seven wars in the Middle East, a dearth of climate change legislation, bullshit health care, ridiculously expensive education and an army of knuckle dragging morons that have no idea about any of it but slogans and ritual talking points. The dark lord has a powerful public relations arm.

The devil only wades in on social issues when they suit him. He doesn’t give a shit about abortion. He’s not bothered by the Gays or Jews or Mexicans or Blacks. He shares no common ground with Clockwork Orangutan’s base except hyper normalized greed. This Lucifer isn’t a democrat or a republican.

He’s both and neither.

However the division suits him.

Hillary signed deals with anybody sporting horns and cloven hooves ten years ago. She ran out of ink. Clockwork Orangutan was as thick as a porcupine with quills to sign any fucking thing. He doesn’t give a shit what he signed. He thinks he can sue.

It’s disgusting how many marquee democrats have pens ready, awaiting requests for audience with Beelzebub to be granted. Just in case.

Obama presided over awful things. The TPP and the Israeli apartheid state. Drone bombing civilians all over the world. The filthy getting filthier while the hopeless got even more hopeless. I can’t stand that I was suckered by the soaring rhetoric only to end up with a business as usual neoliberal lot manager.

I don’t doubt how dirty his hands are.

So yes, in my story, Obama put pen to paper at the behest of the anti-Christ.

I can’t help but like him. I like his wife. I can’t be wrong to appreciate these people for their class and composure in the face of vulgar adversity. To admire them for their grace and discretion.

I can’t stand that Trump’s sons can’t figure out what to do with their hair and weak chin DNA.

I have genuine fondness for Obama and his family.

Does all this make me a hypocrite?

Obama never embarrassed me. He disappointed me. Made me furious. He fucked up plenty. Trump is a silver spoon septuagenarian so simple, he doesn’t understand what the people he’s appointing are supposed to do. He doesn’t care.

Obama inherited a load that would choke a herd. He is a product of our most revered institutions. His record of accomplishment reads like a primer on the right thing to do in America. His ambition was quiet and steady. One can argue that on paper at least, things are better, not worse. We didn’t go off the cliff we had one hell of a head of steam for. He’s patient and fucking smart.

They say all politics is local and all too often, personal. This is personal to me. It’s not hyperbolic for me to say that the ACA quite possibly saved my life.

I can’t help but believe Obama is a decent human being that did the best he could under the consequences of selling out so forgive me for saying he’s pretty fucking cool.

Trump is a raging dickhead.

One is a man, the other pretends to be.

I guess all I’m doing is pointing out the difference.

The contrast in character.

I miss the days when I knew I was gonna get fucked because some democrat was desperately trying to make out with me.

Now it’s as simple as as watching the news, but the shit show is blinding, and even the “liberal media” is lunging for my junk every goddamn night.

Drinks for my friends.

After the Twilight Zone mendacity of his presser the other day, I’ll go out on a limb and predict the demise of Clockwork Orangutan. He’s gonna taste his own blood while being dragged under a bus and I can’t wait.

Sweden has been attacked by green bowling balls.

He’s an ignorant prick.

It’s just not sustainable.

This isn’t necessarily good news. Pence will be up to bat and he scares the shit out of me. He’s a neoconservative, evangelical automaton. Where Trump was phoning it in, Pence is a career plutocrat that knows how to thwart forensics and stash bodies.

Dinner will still be served with all the familiar flavor nuances of fucked.  But after Trump, I’m afraid Pence’s lack of inner carnival barker will escape notice by a media inured to anything that doesn’t look, smell and taste like shit.  He’s so much more presidential.

Next in succession is the ever intrepid Paul Ryan.  He’s a sneaky little shit too.  None of these fuckers is going to back down.  They have the courage of their convictions. Sociopathic hypocrisy is the sincere impetus for their righteous indignation.  They will persist at shoveling bodies into engines.  No matter what.

There are way too many cowboys left.

We’re in for a very long night.  When the whole thing melts like a box of crayons at Fukushima, we’re staring down the maw of mayhem orders of magnitude beyond what anybody alive in this country has ever seen.

Housing prices are at bubble levels.  Middle class families can’t afford a median priced house. Interest rates are on the rise so inflation is likely next.  Watch the price of gas.  Labor statistics have always painted a rosier picture.  The lead story here is a massively over-valued market.  Tripling in eight years is far from normal. The numbers reflect not just the money being borrowed, but time.  There’s only so much of each.  The stock market doesn’t help us when it soars, yet it brings us to our knees when it tanks.

It’s just not sustainable.

It could end up every man for himself.  Stash some cash, food and camping supplies.  Make sure your passport is current.  Buy books on hunting and horticulture.  Buy seeds.  Buy some guns I guess because all the mouth breathers have them already.

Or steal a really fast car.  A really expensive one.  Figure out how to rob a bank.  First, figure out how to steal an expensive car.  Either way, get guns and as many explosives as you can.

I’m going full blown sports car, weapons and robbery.

It will be the most epic week of my life.

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.  – Hunter S. Thompson.

Donald Trump was the candidate the DNC and Hillary actively promoted.  Hillary was the candidate the DNC forced upon us.  Bernie Sanders was the candidate Hillary and the DNC willfully sabotaged.  All this inevitable chaos courtesy of the democratic party.

How do you like them now?

It’s just not sustainable.

Drinks for my friends.

Truth.

Senator Warren claims Native American heritage but can’t be bothered to show up at Standing Rock even now that the situation is at its most dire.  Her people and the water supply for 17 million.  She threw her considerable weight behind the candidate that sold out so thoroughly she lost to the worst used car salesman to ever become a celebrity.

She pays requisite lip service to social issues but will sell us out on economic concerns as fast as as any republican.  She already has.  People will die.

Senator Booker, so worried about the safety of prescription drugs manufactured in America and sold from Canada that he votes against people being able to afford them and continue living.   The single largest recipient of campaign cash from big pharma in the senate.

He pays requisite lip service to social issues but will sell us out on economic concerns as fast as as any republican.  He already has already has.  People will die.

All of the sudden these two hogging the limelight with self righteous indignation bucking for management of the hot dog stand in four years and only in play because the media.

It’s getting harder and harder.

Because the media.

The marches after the inauguration were heartening. The angst was as palpable as the conviction was visceral. But exactly what was it about?

Hillary was on some veranda, a Cuban in one hand a Mojito in the other giving it all her most sincere golf clap.

Everybody loves that it happened.

We all feel better.

Because the media.

If there’s a story here, it’s that our media is more responsible for this cotton candy haired pimp than any other goddamn thing and now they’re all about any device at all to destroy the monster they made after raping our eyes, ears and brains with him for two fucking years.

Your friends Rachel Maddow and Bill O’Reilly.  Chris Matthews and Chris Wallace.

Even if we were all to unite against Trump, the 800 pound gorilla would still be shitting the rug in the middle of the living room.

The other day when responding to the statement that Vladimir Putin is a”killer”, Trump said, “What do you think? Our country’s so innocent?”

Liberal media heads exploded like overripe grapes in a pizza oven.

A broken clock is right twice a day.  Clockwork Orangutan is right.  We are, as a whole, worse.  I guarantee you America has killed far more innocent people, civilians, women and children, than Russia or Vlad The Impaler in the last two decades.

So I said so on facebook.

The crowd went wild.  My dipshit “liberal” friends hollered in all caps that I was Putin whisperer.

Idiots.

Let me just spell this out for you.  Democrats versus republicans is your brain on a full hypodermic of media.

This is why we can’t have nice things.

Turn off your fucking television.

Drinks for my friends.

Donald Trump is the prototypical, contemporary politician.  Everything we’ve elected for the last thirty years without the statesmanlike patina of giving a shit for the people who would never vote for him or the ones who would vote for him no matter what.

A hideous white man paid for by white people.

It’s done.

White people need to eat this fucking mistake.  It’s time. If we don’t, we’ll all be biting the pillow for eight years instead of four. Establishment democrats need to get busy chowing down on this, they are the brain trust that threw Hillary at every thing except the rust belt and actual voters when it was obvious a goddamn ham sandwich would have prevailed never mind Bernie Sanders.

White people.

You bigots and mouth breathers, you fuckers pay attention too.  A lot of us are counting on you to be able to remember when the Kenyan gave you a shot at socialist health care and a job.

White people.

A four year long teachable moment looms.  Confronting this much darkness might be the gut punch we need. It comes down to the average white person’s threshold for bullshit, pain and hopelessness.  It’s obvious Trump has some special sauce because he fucking won. But if white people turn on him, he’ll shit the bed and make Nixon’s walk of shame look like a Sunday afternoon in the park.

White people might retain power long after we become the minority but we’re fools if we don’t see this as the perfect time with the perfect villain.

We need to change.

Russia, recounts and the electoral college have proven none the antidote.  Blaming everything along with the kitchen sink instead of the shittiest democratic candidate ever and a corrupt DNC is an absolute non-starter because it’s stupid white people shit.

Trump is tilting the pavement under everything.  He’ll have super powers very soon.  The broadsword of executive order.

This Clockwork Orangutan, his cabinet, and advisers must be opposed with all available furious anger. Demonstrated against. Petitioned against. Marched against in the streets.  By white people.  Lots and lots of white people.

It was miserably craven that republicans wished failure on Obama.  They obstructed him because he was black, liberal and a democrat.  In that order.  Still, I want Trump to taste ashes in his mouth wherever he anticipates victory. I want him to be humiliated. Because white privilege and an inheritance does not a leader make.

Because he’s a fucking idiot.

I want him to fail.  But he can’t be allowed to fail us. White people have the power to shove this twitter barking fuck off the high dive into that green scum pond that always collects at the deep end of an off season swimming pool.

He got the job.  He doesn’t deserve it although he did earn it.  He was hired as CEO of America by the same rules as all his predecessors.  Hired overwhelmingly, by white people.  He doesn’t deserve it because he doesn’t care about the job, the workers or the customers. He cares about nothing more than what’s his and how much more he can get. The same pathogen that infects the American oligarchy.

White people did this.

White people can undo it.

Drinks for my friends.

The officially redacted intelligence report was released yesterday.  It didn’t tell us much we didn’t already know and it didn’t offer any evidence for anything.  No commitment on whether anything affected the outcome. A most convenient air sandwich.

John McCain declared the Russian hacking of our election an act of war. Some dipshit on MSNBC actually said the Russians attacked us.  Leaked emails rise to this level of hysteria how?

Nobody hacked anything.

The Russians didn’t change any vote totals or compromise any voting apparatus.  Obama ejects 35 “operatives” and promises more sanctions. The problem with all this is there is zero evidence of anything. No evidence of an actual hack or an attack of anyone, by anyone.

I’m holding my breath for another slam dunk.

There was a leak.  The only entity involved and on record says it came from the DNC.

They swear they know who did it but don’t ask them what they did.

Half of Hillary supporters believe the election itself was hacked by The Russians.  Neoliberal media is intrinsically complicit by way of the war economy because they are owned by five or six corporations invested heavily in the two most profitable rackets in the world.  Death and oil. War Incorporated is giddy.

This time it could be real armies slaughtering each other.

No pesky terrorists.

The last time this kinda shrapnel was loaded into media cannons we ended up in a war with Iraq over something they had nothing to do with and weapons that didn’t exist.  Fake news indeed. A million lives lost over a lie. An entire region of our world ignited and burning out of control fourteen years later.

Last time there was smoke and mirrors with dogs and ponies.  Quite the production with dramatic testimony before congress on live TV.  Nothing more than talking heads and fearless politicians fomenting angsty nostalgia for the red scare this time. That and Iraq didn’t have a gigantic nuclear arsenal but Russia does.

There is that.

She lost but the powers that be are hell bent on having their next big war anyway.

The irony is that Putin and Trump appear to be the only adults in the room and that leads me to believe I’m getting yanked in way I don’t know.  But, I can all but guarantee you that the sum of evidence ever to be released on the matter will be that they can’t tell us what they know or how they know it because it would compromise security and ongoing operations.

Is there any chance, that just this once, we can refuse to be this fucking stupid?  We just can’t resist.  Let us count the ways. 224 years out of 240 at war. The real reason for American exceptionalism.  The longest lasting democracy ever.

Drinks for my friends.

Trump won his primary the old fashioned way. Against a bag of hammers, but still.  He won the general by the same rules every candidate has for 250 years. Half of us didn’t vote.  He prevailed with less than one quarter of eligible voters.  Nobody’s fault but ours.

Math.

If you think Russia picked your president, you’re worthless.  This sudden shock and righteous indignation over the revelation that some other power is trying to fuck with us is ludicrously naive. We’ve been doing it for decades.  They’ve been doing it to us for decades.  US intelligence agencies engage in election sabotage in any number of countries before, during and after their morning crap.

Show me where they actually hacked the machinery and changed vote totals as opposed having something, somehow, to do with the leaking of some genuine emails that ranged from cryptic to embarrassing, and we have a conversation starter.  Until then, piss up a rope.

On the other hand, how about that democratic primary?

It’s not the knee jerk, faux patriotic contempt for foreign intervention that disgusts me, but the abrupt, convenient faith and consent in the American political corporation.  Depending on what week and what party of course.  Today it’s the republicans who don’t give a shit about the Russians and the democrats who want to burn down the electoral college.

But stand by.

Hold your breath.

What makes Hillary a loser is that she lost to Donald Trump.  The 2.8 million popular vote surplus? We should just let coastal population clusters inside neoliberal bubbles elect our president?   Some serious number didn’t vote for Trump, but against Hillary.  Another serious number voted in quiet desperation.

Math.

Things are this bad for this many.

She sucked that much.

He saw it and he closed.

He didn’t bother with New York and California and he lied his ass off.

He won.

Was it a proxy battle between the CIA and the FBI?  Maybe, but it wasn’t the Russians that ate Hillary’s lunch.

Is this euphoric sentimentalism for the good old days of red baiting?  Nationalistic nostalgia for cold war angst that had us investing in bomb shelters and keeping an eye out for pinkos at the corner market? Remember that warm fuzzy feeling you got from the drills, hiding under your desk to keep you safe from the incinerating power of the sun in your backyard?

Good times.

Trump and Putin are gonna compare dicks sooner or later. It won’t go well, they have way too much in common.

The corridors of power throb when the citizenry share a common enemy.  Habeas corpus is extinct and Posse Comitatus was shitcanned eight years ago.  Trump inherits the ability to detain anyone indefinitely and dispatch US military troops against you and me with mere convenience. Meanwhile, he stocks his larder with generals and hawks, flouting the doctrine of civilian leadership for the military.

But there’s commies under your bed.

Is it just me or are those drums distracting?

Drinks for my friends.

I have every possible understanding of why and how this happened and I still can’t believe it.

President elect Trump was a a cartoon. Wile E. Coyote behind a tie manufactured in some third world country where workers starve and children are raped.

That the cartoon is now three dimensional, isn’t going to hit home until the chronically stupid realize this serial exhibitionist of indecency is lying to them about every fucking thing. How long will that take I wonder. He ain’t going to dance with the ones that brung him.  He’ll whip them the hardest.  It won’t be the cartoon that aims his douchenozzle to hose his base of frightened, desperate bigots while he stocks the hen house with foxes, chicken hawks and vulture capitalists.

It’s begun. As a country we’ve been the asshole on the block for decades. Trump is about to a be an even bigger asshole and the newest carcinogenic sugary breakfast cereal for the great unwashed at the same time.

Clockwork Orangutan’s financial conflicts of interest are a scorching STD.  This emolument issue is gonna be ants in his crotch until he sends a team of specialists to the lab.  Ever seen him squirm on camera?  Now you know.

I’m not gonna pretend I understand all the implications of what wall socket Clockwork Orangutan stuck his fork in with China, Taiwan or the Philippines the other day.  But I know he fucked up and fell on the coffee table in front of everybody. The crowd is all nervous laughter, waiting to see if he broke it because he went down so damn hard.

Bull in a china shop?  Wild boar on acid in a crowded mall?  Well, I know he’s a fucking idiot.  It’s been obvious for at least a decade.

He is upon us.

Am I the only one who wonders about these detailed ads on cable news about neck fat and junk in the chin?

Trump is the ultimate example of failing up.  To the most inept goes the throne. A bad Santa.  More confidence than dumb and spectacularly dumb.

I need that Chia Trump.

There’s always a silver lining, right?  Here it’s Trump’s bumbling, oafish transparency. Every header he takes, every time he steps on his dick, he’s going to do it live on TV and/or Twitter. We’re not going to look up in five years and suddenly realize our president has been wearing a wrestling mask and a giant gold plated strap on the whole time.  Nope, this stumbling mumbling fuck is all about waving his flaccid intellect, his lack of composure, discretion and discipline in front of any recording device available like a goddamn birthday present.

It is said that at least half of us are of average IQ or less.  I guess the law of averages bears that out but how many are actually eating crayons for fiber and watching cable news while drooling some gaudy waterfall of waxy technicolor?

A uniquely American self inflicted wound.

We’re in for a very long night.

Drinks for my friends.

If you think I didn’t support Hillary Clinton because I wanted Donald Trump to win, you’re a fucking moron. If you think my support of Bernie Sanders cost Hillary her destiny, her inevitable and entitled coronation, you’re a fucking idiot. If you think I didn’t support Hillary Clinton because I’m sexist or misogynist, you’re a lamentable and disgusting, intellectually lazy and deliberately disingenuous, pathetic and willfully ignorant dipshit.

Supplicants for Hillary who continue to ignore the how and why of her loss, are less than useless. Agents welcoming not four years of this nightmare, but inviting eight.

Damage that will last for decades.

Generations.

To ignore history guarantees a specific repetition.

53% of white women voted for Donny small fingers, so there goes your dumbass, sexism argument.

The train is off the tracks and it’s because the DNC ran the wrong goddamn train.  They shoveled black into the engine when they knew the bridge was down, the avalanche had buried the tracks. They opened the throttle wide, and applauded like toy monkeys with cymbals clanging, because the glass ceiling would be rent asunder.  Hillarian sexists made it about gender.

Pious democrat elites, blaming every goddamn thing they can find for the inevitable derailment. Refusing to take responsibility for their own complicity even after the crash. Hills afire and forests ablaze, the faithful standing around, thumbs up asses, screeching all of the above instead of owning that the candidate fucking sucked and it’s the fault of abject party inept.

All sanity and logic sacrificed on the altar of the DNC at Clinton’s behest.

Democrats that lost the the presidency, the house, the senate, the supreme court, most state legislatures and most governorships over the last decade would have us believe it’s because of gender bias, Russians and the FBI.

Goddamn.

You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.

Now a possible recount in three rust belt states neglected by the democrat corporation because of it’s own echo chamber and hubris.  Even Stein admits she doubts it will change the outcome. What if it did?  A nationwide audit of all states that could serve to expose the fuckery of the Clinton machine?

This is the most jacked up shit I’ve ever seen.  The republican primary was resolute and definitive whether you like it or not.   The democratic primary was a study in the failure of political equity. A blatant disregard for the will of it’s constituents.  Reckless and unconscionable.

The tragedy here is that this shouldn’t have been a contest.  Breathtaking stupidity and arrogance. The Feckless whining of Clintonistas for not being able to hand this vulgar, orange ape-child his ass, is pathetic. The lesser informed called her campaign, “informed pragmatism”.

Remember when paid Clinton trolls got caught spamming Bernie sites with porn and reporting them to facebook right before the NY primary and got them all shut down?

Remember the hundreds of thousands of democrats purged from the voter rolls in all five Burroughs?

Remember when Sarah Silverman told Bernie supporters at the convention, “You’re being ridiculous”?

Drinks for my friends.

So Chuck Schumer is in as senate minority leader.  Wall Street trollop and AIPAC waterboy. Nancy Pelosi……establishment queen. Sheezus, fuck me.  Nevermind that democrats just got the shit kicked out of them because the entire electorate just vehemently rejected the kind of crap these sycophants of the gilded serve at the pleasure of.

Goddamnit America.

Like Bernie Sanders and Tim Ryan don’t make more sense in the context of what just happened.  Like Keith Ellison doesn’t make more sense than the big pharma lobbyist Howard Dean.

Unbelievable.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, little lord Trump grants audience to every establishment GOP hump along with every white nationalist hack.  From a golden throne he presides, pitting traditional party jackasses against paranoid conspiracy enthusiasts from the confines of his eponymous tower, over cage matches of Romanesque proportion and consequence.

The president elect is gleefully forcing insects to fight it out in a jar for positions in his cabinet.  In between these matches, he’s burning ants with a magnifying glass from the ant farm of second string wannabees he’s corralled and collected for entertainment and aggrandizement.

Goddamn America.

Unbelievable.

I’ll paraphrase Bernie Sanders from the other day. When we elect the least popular candidate to ever run for president and still lose the senate and the house, democrats have a motherfucking problem.

If only James Comey and the entire FBI hadn’t colluded with the Russians and Julian Assange along with Jill Stein and Gary Johnson to thwart the foregone coronation of Hillary by the DNC.

If only.

Unbelievable.

There’s a glut of democrat smoke signals willing for cooperation with the Trump monarchy.  You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. Progressives have but one option in this shit storm. Oppose.  Resist.  With august ferocity.  Not just for the enemy but for democrats who insist this storm isn’t of their of our own device.

There’s a dearth of democratic leaders taking responsibility for all things Hillary and their own shit show.

The democratic party is a parody of itself.  Donald Trump is not is not a republican.  The republican party is a joke.  Trump is the punchline. America is in desperate need of a new political religion.

I volunteer for messiah.  I would run for congress.  My platform would be $174k a year is enough.  I understand the insurance is bomb. For the salary, pension and benefits I’d be more than willing to vote for the people every time.  On every issue.  I wouldn’t take a dime from special interests.  I would be absolutely faithful to my constituents.

I would go so far as to create an online platform for you, my constituents, on every single vote I’m scheduled for and vote according to poll results.

I would rant on the floor with all available impropriety and righteous bluster whenever possible.

I’m gonna need staff for that cool knot in my tie because I have no goddamn idea how to do that.  I’ll need some help with procedures and rules and IT and stuff.  I’ll never leave Washington because I’ll never campaign.

If the people aren’t happy, they can fire me by electing someone else.

If we like each other enough, maybe I’ll run for the senate.

I will take long lunches and sleep in whenever I can.

Otherwise, I’m yours.

What say you?

Drinks for my friends.