Who honestly gives a mad fuck? 45 days or 21 or whatever, in jail.

Not, where the rest of us would do time,
but in a completely safe, isolated venue. Not in
any danger from violent inmates. No chance of getting
shanked with a shiv by an angry crack whore in gen-pop. No possibility of a furious acne scarred dyke with manly biceps and a pompadour forcing your delicate beak into her lesion festooned, puss oozing anal cleft……

Take my advice Miss Hilton. Read some books and focus on being more altruistic. Rescue some goddamn kittens. Bitch. Do your three weeks and endeavor to make it a positive experience. Try yoga.

This is precisely what’s wrong with us. That we care at all is absurd. It really disturbs me that people are rapt because although she is not all of us, she is a few of us, and at least a part of the rest of us aspire to be that.

Then there are those who belong to the same group as me. As long as she’s not subject to water boarding or any other US government approved interrogation method, I just can’t be bothered to afford a mad fuck.

I’m completely unconcerned if judge Sauer went beyond his authority with a harsh sentence that he insisted upon or whether Lee Bocca catered and pampered a celebrity who’s biggest claim to fame is smoking pole in front of a goddamn video camera.

I care that our legislative branch just demonstrated that they are incapable of crafting, much less enacting, a sensible immigration policy.

I care that someone else’s idea of God won’t get the fuck out of my politics. Did you see the Republican debates? Jesus fucking Christ. We may not elect a woman because she’s female. We may not elect a black man because he’s a nigger; at least according to the ignorant among us. But a Mormon who wears and believes in magical underwear has a real shot.

I honestly can’t wait for a gay candidate, that potential commander in chief has my vote automatically if only for the chaos that would ensue. That, would get my attention.

How many died in Iraq today?

Dumbya landed in Italy today where agents of our government are on trial for kidnapping people and sending them to be tortured. I care about this.

Ms. Hilton, there is a profound difference between people who’ve had their asses handed to them by the circumstances life is wont to visit upon us, and those who haven’t. I’ve gotten good at smelling that difference. Inevitably I favor those who’ve been there. Adversity is often good. My advice to you is to deal with it.

Honestly Ms. Hilton, were you smeared into a red stain tommorrow by a speeding bus, I’d only lament what you could have done. What someone born into your station in life should have done. Google Bill Gates, Bono or Jimmy Carter and realize that none of them were born in a position to affect change like you.

“Welcome to the jungle
We got fun ‘n’ games
We got everything you want
Honey we know the names
We are the people that can find
Whatever you may need
If you got the money honey
We got your disease”

Drinks for my friends.