Here we go, live from the HQ of Brainspank:

She doesn’t look at him when he speaks. He does when she speaks.

Right off the bat, we start with the “bitter” wank, directed at our man Obama:

He’s cool. Well done. He shouldn’t have to answer this question again. It’s over. Polls are out. Little to no damage. Let it go. The man has acquitted himself with expertise and sincerity.

Shrillary tells us about her grandfather. She cannot let go of it. She attempts again with shameless abandon, to pump the issue and ends up rambling.

Stephanopoulos throws a save and Obama gets to rebut:

He fucking soars, elequent and to the point. Uses Hillary’s truthful statement circa nineteen ninety two when she said something like “What did you expect, I’ll be staying home baking cookies?” He was saving that, he wanted to see how far she’d go.

Then we go to Reverend Wright:

He is elequent and she takes the bait. Sheer desperation. Painful. She continues to disgust. Obama goes too long but makes good points. She steps in in real shit by admitting there is indeed “bitterness”.

Nobody notices.

Stephanopoulos throws a nice curve and calls her on her snipers in Bosnia:

She sucks at this. She is spins hard. Shrillary Bad Form.

Our man takes the high road and gives Shrillary a pass. This guy is a class act. Uses the rest of his time to go to issues and ties it in to the idea that we have bigger fish to fry.

Then Gibson throws our man a straight pitch on flag, country and patriotism. He rocks it. Points out it’s a manufactured issue. Stephanopoulos throws a low pitch about some Black Panther or Weather Underground member showing up at a party. He rocks that one too by pointing out the silliness of the question. We actually laughed. I guess Bill pardoned a few of the same people.

Shrillary takes a few chews on it and looks desperate. Doesn’t like the taste after all.

Commercial Break. Let me just say this. This man is Presidential. He is smooth and he is tearing her up. We want a man like this as President, as opposed to the man we have or the woman who wants it. A man who can think on his feet. He is killing.

Onto Iraq:

She does well, but she’s vague. Plan to be determined by advisors. Wes Clark sits with Chelsea and Philly Mayor Michael Nutter. Wes looks a little drunk. He’s slouching, his tie is wrinkled.

Sorry about your name there, Mayor Nutter. Seen The Hatter?

Barack is more definitive. Sixteen months is the goal. More specific, in that ‘we are in trouble now’ kinda way. We’re somewhere very close to the edge of fucked. Wants to talk to Iran.

Yep. He gets it.

They both kiss Israel’s ass and then there’s some acknowledgement by Shrillary and Stephanopoulos that the lie of Iran’s nuclear aspirations are true. Sheezus.

To her credit, she delivers a nuanced overview of the situation and some broad and comprehensive policy.

Barack talks to the eight hundred pound gorilla that is diplomacy with Iran. Forgive me, he get’s it. That shit is going to be a disaster soon. Um. Fierce Urgency of Now?

The Economy:

She pledges to roll back the tax cuts on the rich. A plan for relief for the middle class for health, medical and a pledge to not raise taxes on the middle class.

He says the same and raises her with the notion of tax cuts for the middle. He gives a far more extensive plan and overview. Asked about capital gains he says fair is fair. Billionares should not pay a lower percentage than their secretaries.

I understand he played a little ball. His wife, Michelle, was a class act last night on Colbert.

Ok, she’s hot.

Hills goes to prosperity of the Clinton era. She speaks of freezing foreclosures and interest rates. She panders to the locals a little.

His grasp of specifics and policy is breathtaking. Without exception he’s had a specific answer for everything that’s been thrown at him tonight.

Can’t remember his answer on this but it was awesome.

Commercial Break. At this point, I gotta tell ya, this man is so obviously, so blisteringly smarter and better prepared than her, she appears in my minds eye like a fish kissing the glass and getting stuck.

I can barely hear screaming, because it’s a brain scream. It’s like right before a high speed car wreck that even though you can see it coming, it sounds awful and you’re confused, so your brain makes a noise. Your mouth already did.

Guns:

I kinda don’t care. I mean, let’s do the best we can to keep them out of the hands of the crazy bastards and individuals certainly don’t need access to a weapon that can kill hundreds in minutes. That’s my policy.

Honestly they both do well, despite the silly follow ups by Stephanopoulos and Gibson.

Affirmative Action:

Isn’t this thing over yet? Our man does well. She does well. Wasn’t this thing supposed to be ninety minutes? It’s challenging my attention span. I need a smoke. I gotta refresh my drink.

Gas Prices:

She calls for investigations. Calls for release of reserves. That’s dumb. Otherwise she does ok in addressing the long term and the proactive tip.

He agrees and does a little better with long term answers.

I can’t be happier that ethanol wasn’t mentioned.

On Dumbya:

She jokes. He does very well. Are we done yet?

Commercial break. This shit is exhausting. I’m doing it live. My DVR doesn’t goddamn rewind so I’m bringing it to you raw, bitches.

Convention, Super Delegates:

She’s good. Hard to believe Wes Clark is in her corner. Then again, he’s an aging white man.

Our man goes larger, with issues and policy, an exceptional answer.

No post analysis from ABC. What? Weird.

Here’s mine:

He cleaned her clock. Better prepared and speaking from higher and more confident ground. Give the man a can of domestic beer. It is the best I’ve seen of him. His disgust and frustration was a presence, but eclipsed by his composure and poise. Passion and intelligence.

We need to get this thing over with so we can get on with getting the rest of it over with.

He really was extraordinary.

I’m clear.

Drinks for my friends.

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