There was a gargantuan black tranny and a nearly catatonic homeless guy at the 7-11 tonight when I went in for my Chelada.

The tranny was at least six foot and built pretty thick. She had a pierced face and was sitting on a side counter thumbing a glossy tabloid. She was spectacularly dark and her dress was dayglow green. It was like a lightshow. The homeless dude was in the exact same spot on the way in as on the way out. His mouth was working but there was no sound and he was ever so slightly rocking back and forth.

This is a nice neighborhood. I’m not offended or anything. It’s a sign of the times. It’s an indication that things are pretty fucked up. I wonder how many homeless there are in Kansas or Oklahoma. Are they on street corners? What about those places where they cling to guns and religion?

You know the homeless population is going to explode and it won’t be like the 90’s when most of them were at least a little crazy, these will be sane but destitute folks, many with families. They will look like you.

A big part of rolling with the punches will be helping your fellow human as much as you can. Like if your a codger alone in a giant mansion, you could house a family. If you’re like me you could give people change and aspire to give them paper dollars someday. Learn about cultivating vegetables and then teach it.

I don’t really know where I’m going with this I just needed to write something.

Never.

No, Always.

Keep a trash bag in your car.

When it gets full you can toss it out the window. -Steve Martin

I’m not sure how to tell you this so I’m just gonna say it. Two nights ago, I bought a small pillow of pork rinds with a packet of salsa inside along with a Chelada.

Tonight, despite the amazon shemale and the drooling homeless dude, I secured my second clear plastic pillow with the festive green and red ink, filled with as crude and neanderthal of any mass produced foodstuff there is save pickled pigs feet. Along with a Chelada.

I feel pretty good about it. I was a vegetarian for almost a decade. These days I eat just about anything but the tongue, brains or intestines of any animal. Two hot dogs at the 7-11 for $2.22 all in with all the fixins. Mayo, mustard, ketchup, onions, pickles. processed liquid yellow cheese product and somewhat flavorless chili with a friendly color.

Foodie? I hate that word. Food enthusiast? Fuck me. I like caviar, and sushi, both best with the right champagne. Deviled eggs and french fries, olives and stinky cheese with port, fresh tomatos with salt and pepper, pasta-sauce and a big ass Zinfandel. Then there’s a chili cheese dog with mayonnaise, mustard and onion from Der Wienerschnitzel with a diet coke and the greasy but above average fries.

I tried to tell that I didn’t really have anything to say and here you are. No worries. I wrote all this crap.

Who had a better time?

Drinks for my friends.

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