HIM:

What’s up you gorgeous beeotch?…we need to hang!!! I saw on your blog you reconnected with Eddie. It took me a few to decipher it all. I thought it was great. please call your mother and have a swell afternoob.

ME:

This is a little ridiculous, you and I in the same town and all. I heard you fart. Still living in the same place? Maybe we should have you over. My mom loves Jo. Then we could retire to your place and get hammered. I heard you fart.

HIM:

Yes we are there until July 1st. all is swell. Are you nude? I also heard you fart…J-men forever, I need to find that fine featurette. Yes, we need to. are you still doing the part-time Costco gig? are you floundering for a cigar?

I Remember a time eons ago, 1982 I think. You were tanning on the back deck of Viking Way Manor. Not an unusual occurrence in those days, at least not during that time of year. Oiled up in a speedo sipping on homemade sun-tea, I’d put the time at roughly 10:30 a.m. Vitamin pills get popped, nausea gets to start, groceries are fucking blown.

You were a bit taken back, as you learned the hard way, to always have the Malt-o-meal, prior to taking your daily vit-a-mins!

Cobalt the Barkeep 🙂

ME:

What I flounder for is a vienna sausages. I make Carsonites happier one window treatment at a time. I’m a monkey on a stick.

Let’s fucking drink and reconnoitre. Our absence is criminal. I heard you fart. I want to be lended that Phenolbarbidolls CD. I’ve actually been asked to helm another…………………………….

………..Sooner or later I will carve bacon from her back.

Let’s hang.

HIM:

Do you ever take a fork to your favorite bird? I remember you asking me that once in prison.

Si Senior, I will have to go to the storage facility and grab the disc for you. Jo and I will be taking an extended weekend with the kids in Santa Cruz starting this Friday morning through Monday.

Perhaps the week/weekend I get back we can hang?

Do you have a new girlfriend, or just a new local girlfriend?
Is your back covered in flies? have you seen the inside of
the Gypsy Conventional Remedial Learning Center? Do you bask in the devils of the whiskey forlorn? Does madge still dip her hands in Palmolive? have you tailored a new cod piece? did you mention your stance to the brethren of metal?
are dipped cones dumb, or just chocolaty delicious?

These questions and more upon our next close encounter
of the ninth kinder.

Wong Tip Larue.

ME:

I’ve always been jaundiced you know. Crazy as clacking lucite balls on a string.

I’ve got notions for you.

Do you even understand three bean salad at all?

Man, if you could do that for me I’d fashion a bust of you out of paper towels and catshit and Crest. Bathroom gore. I can’t explain it. I kinda need that record. I still have your copy of the Gooch. I take good care of it.

I store it in my ass.

Close to the Monterey aquarium? Ever been? Bring your pistol and some Cheezewhiz. I liked touching the macular degenerates.

I work weekends as a monkey on a stick. We’ll figure it out.

My back was covered in flies upon entering the Gypsy Conventional Remedial Learning Center. My girlfriend is the same one you met, but you know chicks can’t help it with me.

I bask in the Devil of everything from eggs to cakes. Do you suppose the aliens watch that commercial and laugh?

I picture giant insects purring over the green in the bowl.

My codpiece is fashioned from a rare meat, pounded and tanned to the texture of a dried parsnip.

My stance is wide.

Chocolaty delicious with a heavy German female accent.

I have to go now.

Paula Prentiss

Drinks for my friends.