I get it she says.  I understand she tells me.  All those hoses and belts, all the tubes and valves, all those wires and lines that are leaking and spraying so much sorrow and doom and that man thought four or five times more and four or five times faster than me…… It makes sense why he would take his own life.

It makes complete sense.

She tells me this on the way to the balcony for a smoke.

I follow her out while it makes sense to me.

Maybe it wasn’t just Mr. William’s own morbid malaise.

Maybe it’s us.  All of us.  The worst of us.

We live in an age where heroes are impossible, where dignity and elegance are endangered if not extinct.  There is hardly any grace anymore. It is now virtually impossible for a champion of ordinary people to establish any meaningful foothold before they are either dissected by corruption or seduced by it.

Selfishness now elevated to virtue.

Peace, love and understanding bifurcated into “isms”.

I think we have reached the point of no return.

We may just be fucked.

The only question I have is who we’re taking with us.  How many other species?  How many beavers how many whales how many bees?  How many fucking caribou are we going to take with us?  Every mammal on this planet knows the entire planet is now toxic.  They can see it smell it and taste it while they swim or hunt.  While they forage and breathe.

They know.

And so do we.

Bloodshed is the new normal and nutritious food is neither.  We cannot bear witness to all the war and famine and suffering on this scale now, just how jacked up shit is, and not know how goddamn close we are to the end of days for too much longer.  We cannot keep this up.  You cannot smell your shampoo in the morning without understanding that rain forests are evaporating.  It’s virtually impossible despite your personal grooming choices.

Goddamn we are brave.  We rage against the dying of the light.  Oh my how we rage. We have cable tv and relatively slow internet.  We have HD and smartphones that keep us from even looking at each other.  Been in an elevator lately?  We consistently vote against our own interests out of fear and ignorance. The human race is stuck in its own stupidity.  Our very own vulgarity and self loathing. We can’t be bothered about the better angels of our nature having expired.  We are now subject to barely more than our foibles and weaknesses as the race of man and they will most surely be our demise.

The planet cooks, it’s actually baking.  Soon water will be at a premium like gasoline.  Politicians rape and steal.  Religions and ideologies visit war on the rest.  All covered, spun, spewed and packaged for our entertainment and so called edification on cable tv in HD.

Violence and firepower elevated to a virtue.

There simply is no countervailing wind to blow against the avarice and mendacity that constantly engulfs us with every breath we take and every move we make.  There simply isn’t.  It doesn’t exist.  It’s not democrats.  It’s not liberals.  It’s not social workers or teachers or unions.  Combined they have not enough to oppose the human mountain of filthy lucre that piles everyday despite the best intentions of what is not a unified front.

What we have now is a gale, a hurricane, that has already ripped apart any sail that would turn its wind, its force, into anything but malice .

It really is like evil is winning.

We slash funding for education while we demonize teachers and then build more prisons for profit.  We cut food stamps and unemployment beneficiaries off at the knees while we arm our police departments with weaponry intended for third world military conflicts.

She tells me this on the way to the balcony for a smoke.

Drinks for my friends.

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