Total Fucking Godhead

I see everything.

I am omnipotent and omnipresent.

I am the arbiter.

I decide.

I am the way and the truth and the life.

Trust me.

Believe me or burn in hell.

I am a republican candidate for president of the United States of America.

A Christian nation.

Women are not the the equal of any man.  They do not deserve the same pay.  Their role is one of subservience.  Colored people are not the equal of white people. They can be shot with impunity.  Their role is one of subservience.  Poor people are poor for a reason.  Their role is one of subservience.  All of them are lazy, less intelligent and lack ambition.  All of them.  Women, colored and poor.

I hold these truths to be self evident.

The constitution is explicit.

It matters not whether their station in life is ordained by God or by circumstance.  Inferiority is not my cause or my problem. I am only here to lead the righteous to prosperity and the undeserving to prison or poverty.

All you need to know is that if you are poor but worthy, I promise you will get yours and you won’t have to pay taxes on it.  If you already have it, I will make sure you keep it and it will grow.  Good Christians should never have to pay taxes, everyone else should.  In the meantime, understand you are deserving of all that God grants you.  Feel free to practice judgement and dominion over all who are not righteous in the eyes of God.  You are just and divine in your endeavor to exercise your will and the rule of law over every godless liberal, socialist, feminist, homosexual, environmentalist, addicted, disadvantaged, minority, atheist, agnostic heathen that threatens your privilege and right as the chosen.

I am the agent of God.  My name is Mike Huckabee or Rick Santorum, Ben Carson or Ted Cruz.

I could be Scott Walker or Jeb Bush because whatever it takes.

I come in many forms and faces but my purpose never falters.

Do not allow yourself to be distracted by so called contemporary issues like perpetual war and egregious wealth.  Concern yourselves only with the most vital and timeless of matters.  There is a sustained attack on our way of life and our values.  Our culture and morality is under siege.  Our entitlement as white Christian males is being challenged.  This once great country has excreted an entire class of godless people who believe they deserve endless convenience store burritos, menthol cigarettes, Mountain Dew and free rent.  All prizes to be sure, but hordes of them want free education and health care too.

Imagine if these things were available to everybody.

They would eat unborn fetuses and receive two checks a month for it.

We are outnumbered.  Soon they will demand these things because they are the majority.  We alone deserve to enjoy all the spoils and deviance from the affairs of men. The time to enforce our message of divine superiority is at hand.

The hour is short.

The democrat liberal heathens want everything for nothing and a vote for me is a vote against feeding, clothing and educating them and most importantly, their children, who will only grow up to champion Satan.

Trust me.

Beware false prophets.

I am the way and the truth and the life.

Don’t be stupid.

Vote for me and buy my free book.

Drinks for my friends.

 

6 Responses to “Total Fucking Godhead”

  • Linda Dilworth:

    Vote for me and I’ll set you Freeee! Any woman or person of color who goes along with their dribble is a fool indeed and a self hater.

    • G.a. Underwood:

      It’s those people who simultaneously frighten, exasperate and disgust me, Linda Dilworth. The poor with children at home who elect politicians with publicly-stated goals of denying these very same people access to family medical care, assistance with their groceries and a solid education. They’re convinced that everybody else on a government relief program is a worthless, unmotivated, undeserving human being. But not THEM. Their sense of self moved on down the road to identify and align with those successful Republican politicians who point their fingers in self-righteous blame of the poor for their own plight. I don’t pretend to understand the psychology behind it, but it’s clear that if you can look down your own nose at somebody else, then maybe your own situation’s not as bad as you’d thought. Maybe you start feeling better about yourself. After all, you’re not like ol’ John Bob two trailers down. He could probably work! He LOOKS okay and checks his own mail. What a lazy taker! They only know their own story – maybe Dad’s job was sent to India, or Mom developed breast cancer, or they were victims of the manufactured banking/foreclosure ‘crisis. It doesn’t really matter, because theirs is the only story that matters. Knowing others’ stories could result in a big loss of status and self-esteem, because it’s harder to be better than someone when you’re the same.

      And don’t get me started on Republican women. Or when I go to the V.A. for treatment and see a group of older veteran men watching Fox on the waiting room TV, heads nodding in agreement. I’ve rolled my eyes so many times they should be stuck in the ‘up’ position.

      The power and influence of Fox “News” is vastly understated, which I’m sure is Fox’s preference. But the danger it presents to our nation can’t be overstated. I’m a major supporter of the First Amendment. I also believe that any entity publicly holding itself out as a ‘news network’ has a specific responsibility. Fox isn’t practicing free speech when they quilt misleading questions, misinformation and half-truths together to obscure the facts for the victimized uneducated. They are exercising cult behaviors. Fox has turned propaganda into a true art form with their many brightly-colored, attention-grabbing ‘Breaking News!’ graphics and sound effects. You’d think every day was 9-11.

      I used to pity these folks, like you might the people in the psychological grip of a Jim Jones, and trued to have logical, fact-based discussions with them. Ever ask one to share their information source with you, and request that it be from a bi-partisan/non-partisan source (i.e., not Fox or one of the other delusional severe right-wing sites)? That’s when the insults and name-calling begin. Their backs are against the wall and nearly all will actively evade facts and numbers. As with any cult, along with Fox’s Koch-sponsored messages, they deviously convinces their groupies that Fox is the ONLY network that can be trusted and unite viewers in their fears – whether they be Christianity/Christmas under attack, Obama coming for your guns, the coming apocalypse, widespread voter fraud, etc. isolating people from other informational sources and discrediting others to gain trust is key.

      I write these folks off now, Linda. It’s not that opening their eyes wouldn’t be worth it. Even if I had to do it one person at a time, I would if I could. The simple truth is that something bad’s got to happen in each of their lives to shake them up. It could be a daughter who’s raped and can’t get access to an abortion pill. Or Junior coming home from school and calling them liars because his charter school teacher said dinosaurs never existed. Or receiving notice from Duke Energy stating that their well water, which the family had safely used for the past 43 years, tested positive for seven carcinogens in tests conducted six weeks earlier. Losing a family member to measles. Or even something as simple as taking your WW2 veteran Grandpa to vote, but the line has quadrupled in length and Grandpa can’t stand that long any more. Until they’re personally impacted by Republicans’ pro-corporate, anti-people policies, they’ll continue being far better people than ol’ John Bob.

      He just doesn’t TRY hard enough.

      P.S. I like the ‘Ball of Confusion’ reference, Linda.

  • You certainly have my vote … 😉

  • CH:

    I’ll burn a cross in my lesbo neighbors yard in your honor.
    Praise our Good Lord White Jesus

  • Cathy Rouse Page:

    Yet again, you have summed up the situation. People who cling to some unreal version of a point in US history thought to be the ideal, or, hide their bigotry and ignorance behind multiple flavors of Christianity, will most certainly buy into one of the clown car crew to restore the US to some semblance of what never was.

  • Mandy Andersonn:

    R’amen and a Holla-to-ya! *passes the collection plate*

    I have a Teabaggin’, Republican votin’, Michelle Bachmann lovin’ family member (don’t we all?) who fully believes it isn’t HIM FixedNoise is talking about. Nope. Well, yes. He did collect unemployment until it ran out. But hell, he didn’t ask to be laid off! He’s been a hardworking man his entire life, ffs! And of course he cashes that Social Security check each month for his wife’s mentally disabled nephew he takes care of. He NEEDS that extra money, and HE’S actually paid into Social Security… unlike those other “moochers”. And you bet your ass he took the government subsidy for his COBRA payments. I mean really, have you seen what COBRA tried to charge him? And that Medicaid for the previously mentioned nephew? Pffft. He’s already putting a roof over his head, and feeding him. What do you think, he’s made of money, fer chrissake?

    See, he’s not like all those lazy bums, looking for a handout and being a drain on society. He’s a hardworking Christian man, just trying to support his family. It isn’t his fault he’s hit a rough patch.

    Fucking hell.

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