So word on the street is the Donald isn’t kidding this time.

He’s about to throw his hat and maybe his ridiculous hair into the ring.

I can’t wait.

Donald Trump will perform the equivalent of racking a 12 gauge at thirty thousand feet and blowing a hole in the fuselage of the commercial airliner the rest of the GOP bench is flying on and so vacuum all the integrity and credibility out of the pressurized cabin.

They will all panic and clamor for oxygen masks but half of them will perish by asphyxiation anyway.

It gonna be awesome.

He won’t be the stupidest and probably not the most radical to ever run for president but he will be intrinsically the douchiest.

The deal with the Donald is that he is utterly contemptible.  He may not be the stupidest but he is an idiot.  I say this for many reasons but chief among them is the fact that he’s a wealthy white racist.  His whole barely concealed dog whistle birther campaign waged from the sidelines for the last six years obviates any seriousness he would assume as his what?  Birth right?

I actually watched a season of his television show about a decade ago.  I’d just bought a new house and didn’t have internet access.  It occurred to me to be the most insipid, self aggrandizing spectacle I’d ever witnessed.  It was the first and last time I ever devoted any of my attention to “reality television”.

It completely sucked because he was an asshole blowhard.

My father is very funny and a consummate judge of character.  When he sees the Donald on television he calls him “suckerface”.

Despite the fact that I don’t think a single candidate from the GOP bench is worth a shit, Donald Trump is going to drag it through a sewer.  It’s sad.  Maybe the comedy looms way larger than any potential tragedy here.

Not really.

Trump just may be the harbinger of a final nadir in American politics.  Polls show he lands solidly in the middle of the field and that is troubling enough.  Donald trump is a uniquely American cartoon.  A real live face on the side of a bus. What the rest of the world pictures when they imagine the ringleader of the ugliest American carnival.

No experience.  No bona fides.

An uninterrupted history of pious avarice and narcissism.

So the most obvious move for him is to finally run for president of America.

If you’re anywhere north of thirty five years old, the idea of a clown like Donald Trump running for president should give you pause.  Some of you might panic and indeed you should.  It’s a neon billboard announcing our total abandon of vanity and self respect as a nation.  It indicates to the rest of the world that we have resigned ourselves to the idea that this campaign will be the punchline for the end of our dignity as a country.

Donald Trump entering the race for the GOP nomination is the last straw.  I hope he actually follows through.  I think we need to own how spectacularly ridiculous we have become.

It will be cathartic.

It will be a relief.

Goddamn we suck.

Drinks for my friends.

 

 

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