Archive for the ‘Ron Paul’ Category

I could be wrong, but Skeletor’s towering hubris, virtually sitting out the first three contests of the primary season, is going to take a chunk out of his puckered worthless ass.

Tonight he finished a distant seventh in Michigan.

I’ll bet his cheeks are all mottled and yellow.

He holds one card. One claim to fame. He was the lame duck mayor of New York City when all hell broke loose. If it weren’t for that day, you wouldn’t know his name. What did he do that was so special?

If you ask the NYCFD, they’ll tell you just how special he is. They’ll tell you he’s a coward and a liar and an opportunist and that he sucks.

Guiliani is perhaps the least qualified Republican to ever run for the highest office in what was once the world’s greatest land. He’s never been a governor or a member of congress.

Imagine LA Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa in this race. Sheezus.

His own children loathe him and campaign against him. He literally cheated on his last wife in public.

Ha! The bastard finished seventh.

Fred Thompson and Ron Paul handed him his ass.

God is whispering that Rudy’s fucked.

I’m thinking that even if he arrives on steroids in Florida, he’s got nothing but fumes in his tank of American give a shit.

I really hope I’m right because I really hate this guy.

Romney, douchebag that he is, won tonight over McCain, douchebag that he is. McCain is crazy and Romney is a clumsy lipped blowhard that you should do your best to picture in his sacred underwear.

A lot of people hold religion as sacred or at least exempt from public ridicule.

I’m calling fuck that on that one.

In this instance, I single out Mormons, but I’m an equal opportunity maligner. Every organized religion I can think of is at best, silly and at worse, corrupt and evil.

And they don’t have to pay taxes in America!

We’re so fucking progessive.

Anybody notice Huckabee needed a shave?

Skeletor will be lucky to place or show in Florida. And he’ll get an uppercut ballpunch in South Carolina on Saturday.

Can you guys see the fork?

I swear to a Savory Santa Day that if one of these idiot fucking human train wrecks ends up as President, I’ll start a militia up in the desert with only smart people.

We’ll figure it out.

Drinks for my friends.

Hillary prevails because the women of New Hampshire saw her tear up. Obama carried women in Iowa. He didn’t in New Hampshire.

Who carried the Gays?

Stay with me.

I do wish Edwards had somehow been able to maintain the trifecta. Here, the difference of deep pockets glares at us. Shame on you New Hampshire. He is clearly the best of the three, at least in terms of message.

Ralph Reed is on CNN. What the hell is he doing there? I loathe this bastard. Christian Coalition fucktard. But wait, he just said what I said about Hillary. What should I do with that? Does’t matter, he’s a dickhead.

Ron Paul wrestling with Skeletor for fourth makes me grin like a poor kid with a new bike.

Looks like Richardson will take his ball home. No big loss but a good man.

Record Democratic turnout and Republican voters are actually down. The poor kid with the new bike just got a new bell and a sparkly gold banana seat.

Wolf Blitzer sucks.

Edwards is tired and so is his speech. It is true, righteous even, but tired. No original chords or melodies. Yet still, good populist stuff. Honest. The best message out there. He tells us he’s staying in the fight. That’s good news. He is the best of any of the horses running with the remotest chance of winning.

I’m afraid my favorite little paste eater is unable to hide the fork sticking out of him. Oh well. So much for massive balls and complete honesty. If the upcoming Democratic administration has an intellectual conscience, Kucinich will have a place in it. I’m not holding my breath.

The Associated Press has just forecast Hillary as the winner. There’s lots to be said for inertia. Momentum.

It may be premature, yet as I say this CNN is owning it. I’ve watched enough elections to agree.

Obama speaks. Very well. This guy is good. Really good. This time he actually references MLK. This man, is a goddamn rockstar. Confidence, charisma and composure. Half the reason I watch is to see this guy play.

Blue eyed murder in a sideswipe dress.

Hillary speaks. She has aged before me. She is metered. Measured. Following Obama is a bitch. No pun intended. She’s virtually Stepford after a master orator. She’s kinda plastic. She kinda sucks. Weak finish.

The Bill & Hillary machine is awesome, however. What we saw was that impressive apparatus in swift and purposeful motion at the bottom of the ninth in the second game of seven. Very impressive.

Here they come. I told ya.

The content was significantly more populist in both Democratic speeches.

You aren’t stupid. I know this because you’re here. I’m sure you can imagine me pulling the lever for whatever Democrat rises to the surface of this contest.

And that’s just what I’ll do.

It’s not that the Democrats are so great, although a few are, it’s that the Republicans suck so fucking much. McCain can’t even comb his own hair. Poor bastard. He’s the best they can do? He’s got a hard on for the war for painfully, and I do mean painfully, obvious reasons and I imagine he has some degree of PTS.

Dick-in-Bush snuck up behind and sucker punched him in 2000. When he woke up he was finished and bitter. Who wants this guy on the switch?

Hustler magazine has this regular feature where they render a photo of a female celebrity with a huge cock in her mouth. It’s hysterical. I know some folks over there and I’m going to call and request that they do the biggest blowhard on the planet, Mitt Romney.

Then there’s our man Skeletor. Fuck him.

Forgive me for not being able to take these assholes seriously.

Drinks for my friends.