Archive for the ‘Tony Snow’ Category

you can’t write this shit.

Someone should explain to the neocons that wethinks they doth protest too much. It virtually guarantees that this thing will have legs like a millipede or maybe a supermodel. I’m betting on the arthropod.

It cracks me up that they trot out former Whitehouse spokeshole Ari Fleischer. Thus far this administration’s premier prevaricator. The same douchebag who infamously warned Bill Maher ” Americans need to watch what they say, watch what they do.”

There is no doubt that he still serves at the pleasure of his President. There has never been a bigger turd in this punchbowl of blowhards than Ari. He is sociopathically obtuse.

The act is that Pasty McSquinty has gone balls mad and has no idea what he was talking about. This is not the Scott we knew, we don’t understand. He was never in the loop.

How is it that Fleischer, a man who held the very same job previous to McClellan, out of the loop as well I assume, knows better than McClellan what McClellan knows? Whatever.

I used to write a lot about these guys, back in the myspace days. I feel like I know them. Like I have good reason to loathe them. They’re both colossal fabricators of elaborate falsehoods.

They are both excellent liars that turned pro.

I can’t help but be excited about what Pasty has done here. Despite it’s overall lack of revelations, it’s more truth anyone from this administration has ever afforded the American People. He gets a gold star and a chest to pin it on.

Where’s Tony Snow? Chin herpes from being teabagged by Cheney and Rove.

Fleischer needs a name. How about The Oily Marmoset?

So yeah, keep the ponies prancing. We love it. The Oily Marmoset begat Pasty McSquinty and he begat Dana Perino. She’s gonna need a name soon.

Drinks for my friends.

Submitted for your approval, the drama unfolding on an ever bleaker world stage, on this day the thirteenth of February in the year of 2007.

As a second carrier group steams toward the gulf this week, Newsweek reports that a third is likely to follow soon. Do we have any idea the havoc that can be wrought by three aircraft carrier groups and nearly sixty warships total? How many nukes are on those ships and on the submarines that are surely lurking underneath?

From the Associated Press today and lifted directly from my friend Doug’s blog:

Pace contradicts claims by other U.S. military, administration officials
The Associated Press
Updated: 3:32 p.m. ET Feb 13, 2007
JAKARTA, Indonesia – A top U.S. general said Tuesday there was no evidence the Iranian government was supplying Iraqi insurgents with highly lethal roadside bombs, apparently contradicting claims by other U.S. military and administration officials.

Gen. Peter Pace, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, said U.S. forces hunting down militant networks that produced roadside bombs had arrested Iranians and that some of the material used in the devices were made in Iran.

“That does not translate that the Iranian government per se, for sure, is directly involved in doing this,” Pace told reporters in the Indonesian capital, Jakarta. “What it does say is that things made in Iran are being used in Iraq to kill coalition soldiers.”

His remarks might raise questions on the credibility of the claims of high-level Iranian involvement, especially following the faulty U.S. intelligence that was used to justify the invasion of Iraq in 2003.

Three senior military officials in Baghdad said Sunday that the highest levels of Iranian government were responsible for arming Shiite militants in Iraq with the bombs, blamed for the deaths of more than 170 U.S. troops

Asked Monday directly if the White House was confident that the weaponry is coming on the approval of the Iranian government, spokesman Tony Snow said, “Yes.”

Iran on Monday denied any involvement.

“Such accusations cannot be relied upon or be presented as evidence. The United States has a long history in fabricating evidence. Such charges are unacceptable,” Foreign Ministry spokesman Mohammad Ali Hosseini told reporters in Tehran.

Also, new Secretary of Defense Robert Gates said on Friday that he’s “not frankly specifically certain myself of the details”.

And today our new commander in the region Admiral William J. Fallon said “I have no idea who may be with hands on, on this stuff”.

David Gergen on CNN, no friend of us peaceniks, just called the whole thing “wierd and botched”.

The emperor is buck naked, sporting gooseflesh and he appears to be jaundiced. Even though his eyes leak tears from the Washington winter cold, he stands before us completely unaware that our gaze is drawn to his shriveled purple phallus. He knows not of his own leaflessness.

But his his sack is huge and distended by the swollen fruit within.

There’s a fine line between clever and stupid. Rest assured that the balls of The Decider In Chief are massive by reason of stupidity. Also know that these are not those of brass the we’ve come to so admire on some leaders. The testes adorning this village idiot are no more durable than overripe grapes. He knows nothing of this either.

Snot leaks from nostrils and spittle flies from his mouth agape as his bird like head head pivots to catch sight of a horrified citizen pointing and gawking at his shrunken manhood and a grossly oversized pair of man produce.

Iran has a thriving modern infrastructure and it’s military is certainly no paper tiger like that of Iraq. It is a civilized country nearly three times the size of Iraq with a population of nearly seventy million that has grown and prospered unfettered by sanctions from the west.

Those who would charge that various weapons are sourced from Iran and that the highest levels of it’s government are complicit, have no evidence to support such claims and their names are being kept secret on their own insistence. That makes me all warm and fuzzy.

Iraq is a miasma of dominoes that we continue to kick over with no idea of when or where they will stop tipping into others. Iran is a massive forest of the metaphorical slabs that our arsonists laureate, Dick-in-Bush, are gearing up to topple en masse in all directions. Once they get started, I won’t be suprised to see the Iranian army spilling across the the Iraqi border.

Wthout question, chaos will then have siezed the reigns in the Middle East and there’s no predicting where it will end. I can virtually guaruntee that the 3,100 plus dead Americans and some where around three quarters of a million dead Iraqis will suddenly become Sesame Street numbers in the scheme of things. The violence, carnage, destruction and horror we’ve witnessed so far will rapidly become Fisher Price.

Already we use ammunition containing lethal amounts of depleted uranium in Iraq without any regard. Finally, mainstream media has begun to notice. White phosphorus, torture, kidnapping and rendering, war profiteering…………I mean pallets of cash. Pallets of four hundred thousand dollar bricks or “footballs”. Of fucking cash!

And they continue to hammer away with a heavy sledge, at our liberties, our rights.

And now they want another war.

Think about that.

On top of one that will surely bankrupt us.

On top of the one with no end in sight.

On top of the one that has left us completely bereft of credibility in the world.

Our arsonists laureate, Dick-in-Bush. seek to gash open another wound, with the old one still bleeding profusely, not knowing or caring if it causes all of us to bleed out.

My hero, Hunter S. Thompson once said that when the going gets wierd, the wierd turn pro. I’m starting to wonder if he meant that we will not have a choice.

Take a look at who our arsonists laureate want to burn next

‘Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.
‘Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!’
He took his vorpal sword in hand:
Long time the manxome foe he sought–
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
And stood awhile in thought.
And as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!
One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.
‘And hast thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!’
He chortled in his joy.
‘Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

Drinks for my friends.