Archive for the ‘VP Debate’ Category

This following portion of tonights blog is written live:

I find that realtime graph alternately compelling and distracting. Chicks vs. Dudes. It’s interesting when and where they converge and diverge. I wish I could turn it off though.

She’s doing well. She lies but she’s composed, articulate and informed. Biden’s facts are far more in order. He spanks her on Iraq.

She’s poised and pivots well. Biden’s jabs are stiff with facts but that’s as hard as he swings.

Fuck me, she can’t pronounce “nuclear”. Just like Dumbya. Hate us for our freedoms. Sheezus. Interesting how she flatlines on the graph here. She can’t compete with Biden on foreign policy.

I hate this Israel shit. We are paying in spades for our support of Israel. This teacher’s pet shit has to end.

If she says the word Maverick again, I’m going to punch my own ballsack. I can’t get get past that she can’t say nuclear.

She’s clearly been to school since she hung with Couric. Tempe been berry berry good to What’s Her Name. Her folksy schtick makes me want to crap a greasy rodent. She swerves and ducks. She even milks McCain’s P.O.W. history.

She says “team of Mavericks”. I punch myself in the balls so hard, I projectile vomit with a volume and velocity so volcanic that my cat’s flee and building security rings my doorbell like a claxon. I rip the door open festooned with my own gastrointestinal gore. They wrestle me down on my kitchen floor while I scream incoherently about nuclear debates.

I punch the older one in the mouth and feel bad. He looks a little like my new boss.

During this time, Biden parks one with sincerity while talking about his personal life. She talks in circles and soundbites and Biden plays smear the queer with the maverick thing. Fucking excellent. Do I have to punish my balls again?

He’s finishing strong and he smokes her as they approach the line. He speaks from the heart and that’s why we likes us some Joe.

She closes strong. Well done. A little cheerleaderesque………still, not bad.

Biden gallops. He beats her by a length.

The following portion of tonights blog is retrospective:

Race to Biden, but it was closer than I anticipated. Not close. Closer. She did better than I’d hoped. She held her own but was below her paygrade most of the time, particularly in the second half.

Begala said it best. Biden was there to hammer McCain and contrast him with Our Man’s policies and priorities. Palin was there for damage control. Both pursued with skill and executed.

Here’s the rub. One of these goals is not like the other. One of these goals just doesn’t belong.

A financial structure buckling, two wars and more on the way and and a Presidential running mate trying to make up for not being able to even think of a relevant periodical or a Supreme Court decision a month before the vote.

Biden was disciplined and on message. Restrained? Yep, he could of disemboweled her, he just smiled and stayed on the road. There were a few times the camera caught him with one hand on the wheel and the other thumbing an impressive antler handled hunting knife. There was that twinkling sound coming off his teeth.

Once I promised to shower and change my clothes, the security team that fought me to the tile forgave me for mixing my metaphors and decided to hang out and drink. Their walkie talkies are annoying. They seem like nice guys. Not very intimidating, I mean it took all three of them and they still couldn’t get the plastic cuffs on me.

Nice job Joe.

Drinks for my friends.