I don’t know why, but for more than a few months now
I’ve thought of Attorney General Alberto Gonzales as
“Gertie”. He seems more Gertie than Gonzo in
light of his polite and soft spoken testimony that
revealed him to be either an even tempered retard or a
shameless liar.

Of course Dumbya stuck with him til the end cause he’s
a cowboy and that’s how they roll. At one point,
after Gertie uttered some version of ‘I have no idea’
over seventy times in one sitting in front of Congress, Dumbya said
something like he had even more confidence in his
ability to lead the DOJ.

Gertie stopped short of apoligizing for getting shot
in the face because he hasn’t yet been shot in the face.

High crimes, misdemeanors, felonies, overt obfuscation
and some comedy.

In the last month, Snow, Rove and Gertie all reflected
on Rumsfeld and realized, no one says shit about that
incompetent evil little prick anymore.

Each had his own epiphany. It went something like
this:

“I think I’ll tip the fuck out the door now. It’s
gettin mighty ugly up in here and if I leave now,
ain’t no way I gotta endure the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune
come the morrow, or hunt with Dick come fall. ”

The dipshitocrats say that the investigations will
continue. They will. But a deal has most likely been
cut. I’ll be suprised to hear much more from Gertie
or Rove or Snow for that matter.

After all, we’ve heard from Rumsfeld just once. It
wasn’t about profoundly inept war mismanagement that
resulted in a loss of life in the neighborhood of a
million souls.

It wasn’t about torture and death sanctioned by him.

It wasn’t even about our men and women not having
adequate body armor or safe vehicles to deliver candy
and flowers in.

We heard from him on lies, deceit and a cover up of
the death of an American hero named Pat Tillman. As
big a deal as this is, he was called on the carpet for
the death of one man.

Think Gertie has much more to say on illegal wiretapping or firing of US attorneys for failing to dig dirt on voter fraud among Democrats? That’s a goddamn punchline by itself.

It’s all over but the shouting. The damage has been
done. The havoc has been wrought. You won’t see many
more departures. The rest will ride it out.

Dumbya has no idea how to drive. They let him put on
the captain’s hat and take the wheel whenever he’s had
a bad dream or his inner cowboy feels insecure, but
they don’t let him spend a waking moment without a
hand up his ass.

Although he did compare Iraq to Vietnam last week.
I’m thinking a greasy dinner, maybe possum, allowed
him to slip off the hand, however briefly.

His handlers slapped their foreheads and forgot about it. He says stupid shit all the time.

Happy trails America. Dick Cheney is now completely
in charge. Don’t doubt for a second that he intends to run this ship as far onto land as he can. Full steam baby. Here we go.

“When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.” -HST

Drinks for my friends.