First up, Cindy Stepford McCain. Oh boy. Can’t wait.

Out she comes with the whole dam fam minus the Bootlicker and introduces them before dismissing them. She goes to Gustav victims. She speaks like she’s on something. She’s an empty vessel. Maybe her batteries are low. I wonder what she looks like without her face plate.

“If only the Federal Government would get itself under control and out of our way”. She’s boring. Cut to What’s Her Name telling her daughter to “smile for me”.

Sappy, predictable and obvious. Offered in dulcet tones of halcyon. She comes from the house that Anheuser built. She steals mustard packets from fast food restaurants. She always has kleenex on her somewhere.

She manages to highlight the profound lack of substance in every speech thus far at this convention, in stark contrast to the style AND subtance served up by the Democrats last week. No mention of the beleaguered middle class, the suffering poor, health care et al, nor a whiff of what they intend to do about any of it.

Doubtfire is next. I’m looking for policy, metrics, specifics……….

I’m not holding my breath. That’s not to say I’m not touching myself. It’s purely platonic. Intellectual. You know what I mean.

The video introduction is heavy on the POW thing. Ok, I fucking get it. Enough. Oh yeah, and he’s a maverick. Lotsa black folks in the video. Whatever. Talk about a desperate whore for a brand.

He ambles geriatric to the dais. The knot in his tie is mediocre and the garment itself is yellow. Cut to a sign that says you can’t win an occupation. Another cut to a sign that says McCain votes against vets. Chants of USA. He actually mentions Dumbya for keeping us safe or something; offering us proof that although his phallus is withered and dry, his balls touch the water in the bowl.

So far it’s all fluff. He goes on and on. Family, yadda, yadda yadda yadda. He tells us he won’t let us down and he’ll earn our trust. Some grace when talking about Our Man. A little humility even.

Tumescence anyone?

Prosperity and peace is the message as dissenters are manhandled out of the venue. He calls it “ground noise and static” and they laugh. He’s going to stand on our side and fight for our future and he’s found the right patrner to do so. He proceeds to lie shamelessly about her. He’s creepy when he forces a smile after making it a point to lie.

Change is coming he tells us.

Time for a smoke.

He’s gonna veto pork barrel spending. I guess that’s how intends to solve our economic woes. Republicans are astonishingly anti-union.

And then,”rather lose an election than a war”. Fuck me. I’m shirtless so I haven’t ruined my pinko liberal blouse. The communist in me smiles and heads to the bathroom to wash up.

He fights for us he says. He’s nearly as dull as his wife. We’re going to get back to basics. We’re all God’s children and we’re all Americans. A culture of life. As opposed to what? Judges who don’t legislate from the bench. Families and communities. A government that doesn’t make your choices for you.

Uh huh.

Lies about Democrats and taxes. Democrats will close markets. His tax cuts will create jobs. I assume he’s talking about the Bush tax cuts. Good luck with that one Doubtfire. More lies about taxes and healthcare. They eat it up. A bureaucrat will stand between you and your healthcare. Um, ok. That’s different from now how?

Oh, how the great unwashed covet and then adore to feast on the lies.

He offers a follicle of policy without specificity. We’re on to education. His answer is a choice for parents as to where they send their children to school. Good luck with that John. Don’t try to fix it, walk away. Privatize it. That’s breathtakingly stupid in light of the egregious impact deregulation and privatization has visited upon the struggling and downtrodden.

You know, your base, fuckhead?

Good show Bootlicker.

He’s gonna battle big oil. Is that despite the money he takes from them? Drill baby, drill. Again, a modicum of policy in the broadest and most ambiguous of terms.

Terror, terror, terror. Russia and more Russia. International lawlessness. Ha! He knows how the world works. He knows how to secure the peace. He hates war. Good to know.


Time for a smoke. And a cocktail refresh.

I’m getting sleepy. More POW stuff. War stories. Again, respect an admiration but enough is enough. It’s not a qualification for President. I’m sorry, it’s just not. It’s a courageous story. He may be a better man than me or possibly you, but in light of all else that is requisite, it’s simply not enough.

It makes him suspect.

The camera finds a sign with the word maverick spelled wrong.

He wraps it up with some sentimental euphoria, the balloons and confetti drop and the families take the stage and they play Barracuda by Heart. Wonder how Anne and Nancy feel about that.

Who cares. I give him a D minus. He barely passed. I am not impressed.

At least What’s Her Name was entertaining.

“Don’t let your sly eye ricochet off the silver in a hobo’s pocket”. -Colbert

Drinks for my friends.

7 Responses to “RNC III”

  • Solsarosso:

    I found it remarkable and quite entertaining that he couldn’t get his damned fellow republicans to shut up and let him read from the teleprompter. They kept boorishly chanting, “USA! USA! USA!” throughout the whole ill-delivered affair, like a bunch of drunken drunken frat boys. Rather uncivilized of them if you ask me.

  • Solsarosso:

    oops. I double-drunkened.


  • admin:

    Yup, I agree.

  • Cindy McCain scares me. She looks like she’ll walk up to you, smile, and then commence to stabbing you…when she’s done, she’ll finish her Creme Broulee….those creepy eyes remind me of those kids in Village of the Damned.

    As for her talking about family values and saying that her daughter’s pregnancy is a family matter…then bringing said daughter out on the stage….shows that she’s the one who’s bringing it out in public…she said that it was her daughter’s choice to keep the child…but she wants to take away everybody else’s choice??? I know, I know, Obama said to back off…but you know damn well if he were in that boat, they’d try and sink it…

    I’m starting to call them the Hypocrite ticket…

    And the P.O.W. thing….it’s soooo yesterday…if he were supporting our troops, why has he voted against Webb’s G.I. bill, drawing down troop levels among other things…

    If there’s any change with these two asstards in office, it would be a change from oligarchy to theocracy….which…if you think about it….not much different than what it already is….

  • admin:

    Well said my dear. She bought this scrutiny and the attendant clusterfuck, hook, line and sinker.

    And yes, this sort of thing just might sink our ticket, unless we chose to fight back. You know, hit ’em right in the mouth?

    May the powers that be smile on you and I and our like if Americans end up being that fucking stupid.


  • David Lee 3:

    The Repugnicunt National Convention has been a sad display of wholly delusional rich crackers, who are hellbent on hoping the rapture happens – tax free.

    Lotsa black folks in his video and none in the crowd. Funny that.
    God blesses almost NONE of them I am almost certain.

    Did you see this clip of McStain lewdly eyeballing the rump of his new VP? HILARIOUS!

    Since Cindy makes 6x as much money as him (she must be a succubus) I’m sure she’ll see that video & probably have a word with him.
    .. He’ll probably hit her and tell her to “shut the fuck up woman” and she will because the ‘Baaahble’ says it’s the right thing to do & she is as hellbent as the rest of them.


    Elvis help us!

  • admin:

    Ok, that shit is hilarious, Thanks to my man Helmet.

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