Lipstick and warheads

Last night I was full to bursting with ideas, things I wanted to tell you about. Sinister and lucid. Piss and vinegar. Last night my adorable cat Beddy (short for Bedhead – nom de Fish), successfully executed her new hobby of tipping over any liquid bearing vessel into my wireless keyboard. Dead in the water. Pun intended.

Gin may have faired better due to the lesser electrical conductivity of alcohol. Beats me.

Tonight I got nuthin. Tonight, my goddamn Direct TV is out so I can’t count on television to piss me off. Don’t worry, I’ll come up with something, I always do. It will be the inaugural voyage on my new, really cool, post modern Mac keyboard. Excited? Good. Me Too.

I got sock radar. If there’s two clean socks in this place, I will find them in minutes.

Excuse me while I smoke some pot. I like pot. It’s like a push up bra. It makes an already good thing better.

Good. Now, I’m pretty stoked over the bold moves Our Man has made in his first few days. I’m impressed.

New White House press Secretary Robert Gibbs reiterated the Obama administration’s commitment to overturn the Don’t Ask Don’t Tell Policy on the website. No time table but pretty cool. The positive rhetoric in a number of Obama’s campaign speeches regarding gays and lesbians, particularly in the context of minorities was like a lighthouse to us bleeding heart lefties. No, I’m not gay, but I welcomed it as evidence that our man sees the plight of the gay and transgender communities as a black and white civil rights issue.

Again, pun intended.

He’s so cool.

Broad and profound ethical, even moral implications. Precisely why government should abstain from any involment or policy here. Our military will neither discriminate nor favor any group based on ethnicity or sexual orientation. You hypocritical conservatives who pine for smaller and less involved government must have blown expensive post lunch single malt out of your cake holes over this one.

Obama reversed the “Mexico City Policy” as well. First enacted by Reagan, it prohibits any family planning organization that recieves American money from offering abortion services or abortion counseling. A really dumb Christian ethic to impose on third world countries. We should be bombing Africa with condoms and birth control pills.

Our man called it a “political wedge issue,” and said he had, “no desire to continue this stale and fruitless debate.” -CNN. Another move so disconcerting to the neo religious conservative dickheads, that they called for a man named Bob to to sponge their collective square pants.

Then there was this:
“As of today, lobbyists will be subject to stricter limits than under any other administration in history. If you are a lobbyist entering my administration, you will not be able to work on matters you lobbied on, or in the agencies you lobbied during the previous two years. When you leave government, you will not be able to lobby my administration for as long as I am president.” -Rachel Maddow

Wow. The collective pucker and panic over that one most likely impacted the carbon footprint of the entire beltway. There were some cries over Our Man’s near instant plea to bend the rules for a former Raytheon exec. he wants for Deputy Sec. Def. Campbell Brown got a little indignat and weepy over it but she would do well to realize that if this were Dumbya and friends, we wouldn’t ever have known about it in the first place. We still don’t know who was on Darth Cheney’s energy task force or even what they decided.

Limbaugh and O’Reilly quacked liked ducks and crapped like geese this week.

Bill O’Reilly had this to say:

“Besides his lack of experience, Panetta opposes many of the CIA’s anti-terror measures. He’s against any kind of coerced interrogation, wants the FISA overseas wiretap law repealed, and would completely disband the rendition program whereby the CIA sends captured terror suspects to be held and interrogated in other countries.

Without those tools, which former CIA Chief George Tenet and others say have been very effective in uncovering terror plots, the agency’s ability to disrupt potential attacks would be gravely damaged.”

There was more but I need to stop this fucking pinhead right there. George Tenet is a clueless, inept mouthbreather. No better than Mike Brown of Arabian horse fame and the former head of FEMA. You really want to keep your stock in a retard like Tenet instead of giving a smart accomplished guy like Panetta an initial benefit of the doubt? You sir, are an idiot. A buffoon. I suspect your penis barely functions.

Limbaugh pulled that little string and this gusher ensued:

A week after saying he “hope(s) he fails” about Obama, Limbaugh this week said, ”We are being told we have to hope he succeeds, that we have to grab our ankles…because his father was black, because he’s the first black president,we’ve got to accept this.”

I’m barely employed so I have very little to lose. I’m thinking I might move to Florida, discover the Human Shitsmear’s most favored eateries and rub my dick on everything he eats.

They are over. Both of them. Read my lips.

In the meantime, looks to me like he’s walking straight at it. His name is Barack Hussein Obama, he’s from Chicago by way of Hawaii and he’s not here to fuck around.

Drinks for my friends.

4 Responses to “Lipstick and warheads”

  • Fuck you Mike:

    You are such a vacuos idiot.
    Your points are ill thought out and ill concieved. Liberalism is a mental disorder.
    But you wouldn’t know that. Your too stoned and self absorbed like all liberal marxists to notoice just how fucked up the B. Hussein’s policies are (save the whole abortion nonsense)and how corrupt this new administration’ cabinet is turning out to be with the help of an anti USA democratic house and senate.
    Republicans only have themselves to blame for all of this. They had a golden chance to really put forth conservative policy but all they seemed to be able to come up with is ass raping aids and trying to get along with democrats. Bottom line is when the normal people wake up and see they are being battered with gay and lesbians as normal and hetrosexuals are evil, when they wake up and China, Russia and every other tin pot shit for brains country is taking us over in a very real and salient way, when they wake up and see this new leader is a vile piece of maxist shit who’s intent on detroying everything this nation ever was and ever will be, they might, just might, if they can get away from their collectively ignorant, pot smoking, sexually promiscueus, ignorant lives, they might just see to vote in some sensible people to be in both houses as a bit of a firewall against this no good hommo loving bastard of a president B. Hussein’s anti USA policies.
    Fuck you Mike.
    You are a no good weasle bastard.
    obfuscation eschewed yet again.
    Facts for the ignorant.

  • Kyra:

    I thought conservatism was the metal disorder. *shrug* Something about the inability to accept change. It’s too bad you all couldn’t have remained as monkeys.


    I, too, am very impressed with our guy. It’s going to take one hell of a giant shovel to plow away all the shit laying around Washington and he is wasting no time.

    Extremely impressive. The most amazing part: he is doing what America wants. What an idea!

    How refreshing.

  • Fuck you Mike:

    Wake up.
    Telling people what to listen to and what to watch, how to think and what to say is not going very well.
    Have you been paying attention? Or is the pot smoke just a little too thick for you to notice that people are pissed about all of this?
    B. Hussein telling people how, where, what and how they “Should” be thinking and exclaiming as the spoiled little Kenyon brat he is that “I won” is not going over very well.
    It shows his weakness as a leader and his contempt for the USA.
    Uncle Hugo is really proud of all of you left wing idiots.
    The chickens are coming home to roost.

  • Rain:

    It’s that center line, the yin and yang thing. It actually causes the wheels to spin, moving everything forward. I don’t want a police state, I’d rather have education, and healthcare. I’m for Humanity, where every individual is as valueable as any part of the whole group. And I believe in seperation of church from state. The family institution will really be in danger if the community does not posses these quality.

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