Did you catch Joe The Plumber on Realtime? I’m still in awe. For the sake of posterity at the very least, his name is not Joe and he’s not a plumber. Sam Wurzelbacher is a douchebag. He said things like it’s a “mute” point and Obama is a socialist. He then demonstrated that he, like all the rest of the great unwashed, don’t understand what socialism is. Morals and values he says.

Sheezus.

He’s a cartoon.

I don’t give a mad fuck what the pundits say, Obama acquitted himself with aplomb in Europe this last week and Michelle was the epitome of grace and class. As an American, I am grateful we are no longer suffering the palpable embarrassment of being represented by the Beverly Hillbillies.

Sam Donaldson declared nuclear power safe on Bill Maher tonight. This particular issue doesn’t take a rocket scientist to dissect. The process itself may very well be safe but until we figure out what to do with the goddamn waste, the entire idea is tragically flawed. It’s just that simple. We can’t just bury it in the desert. Fuck me, why doesn’t that come up?

I like the idea of my brain being inserted into a robot vessel until such time as an actual flesh and blood one comes along. I hope that someday soon, twisted but excellent brains like mine can be preserved for the benefit off all living creatures except certain kinds of bugs and religious zealots. I picture it like a VCR slot in the head of a robot. Just get somebody too slide your gooey brain through the little horizontal door……..

Celebrity apprentice update. Joan loses it and The Black Hat is is, um, fascinating. I’m not sure how smart he is but I suspect he’s in possession of some modicum of mental agility. It’s his composure that impresses me. I’m not sure how it happened but now he’s on the chicks team.

So yeah, the dudes ended up with the poker chick and Joan’s daughter. Something like that anyway. Oh wait. The teams are mixed now. The chopper guy is the only one here who’s conducted himself without shame so far. Football guy is less than articulate, naive, but maybe not stupid.

The drama kicks into high gear. Joan is pissed, and The Black Hat is a bit of a prick. Chopper guy and his team seem to be very happy with their effort. They show both projects and they both suck. But, wait. An inspired twist. Perez Hilton is consulted. Let’s watch!

This guy’s hair is ridiculous. His clothes are a nightmare. Some sort of powder blue jacket over a cobalt shirt and tie of the exact same color. And it’s a button down collar. Very high gayness.

I guess owe it to finish this.

Joan loathes Black Hat and so does her ridiculous daughter. They both lose because corporate hates both presentations. The Donald intructs Black Hat and Creep Melissa to bring two people each as he’s going to fire two. Let’s watch!

Trump blows it. What a tool. He fires the woman who volunteers to risk her head on the block for her team because she believes they have all kicked ass. You don’t fire that woman. You keep her. She’s all about team. He then fires another woman over some bullshit moral imperative that has zero to do with the premise of the show.

We’re done. I’ve been played. Cheated by the glass teat. Crap is crap and that was crap.

In other news, boys will be boys, we should all take stock and one man’s something is another man’s something or other.

Drinks for my friends.

5 Responses to “A night on TV”