I knew this was coming.  This blitzkrieg of all things Sarah.  I knew the book was coming.  I understood that no matter the political wisdom of every move she’s made from quitting as governor to tragically inserting herself in the district NY 23 race, that her intentions and decisions are far from nuanced.  She’s an attention whore.  A high school cheerleader with an insatiable thirst for fame or even infamy.  The nature of the attention we pay is as unimportant as the truth to her.

She milks us with tremendous success.

What confounds and disgusts me so much is that she is able to do this.  To do this to us.  That we are apparently so complicit.  That we are so willing to afford her audience.  To command our attention despite such a voluminous cornucopia of lies and empty rhetoric, absent policy, minus substance and with such prurient intentions.  Americans, at least some of us, adore idiots.

I know I do.

It’s true, I can’t help it.

But I can’t stand that she’s getting over on us.  Nixon fled the office of the Presidency with a near 25% approval rating.  So did Dumbya.  That proves that about one of four of every person I encounter is a dipshit.  So be it.  I hate that but what can I do?  She’s on Oprah, talking to Barbara Walters, being discussed on the network news and obsessed over by cable news.  She is literally fucking everywhere.  She’s selling mad books to all of us.

Or is she?

The Human Shitsmear declared her book one of the most substantiative on policy he’s ever read.  I don’t doubt that for obvious and numerous reasons.

Wallmart has her book at $8.98 and the right wing rag Newsmax, is offering it for five bucks and throwing in a four month prescription er, subscription.  Way off the $28 cover price.


Let me tell you something, the fact that she has allegedly written a book (sans index), is proof that she has written more books than she has read.

What I want to know is why do so many of us pay attention?  Is it because we consider her to be compelling or is it the spectacle?  Is she interesting or is she a multi car pileup with flames and blood and sirens, highway flairs and stuff?

That she is already at odds over the facts with the McCain campaign staffers and personnel, belies her version of events at the very least, and her assertion that she was billed $50k for being vetted gives me pause.  Given what we now know and understand about her character and personality, the sudden and abrupt nature of the of the selection and glaring lack of process, it’s difficult for me to believe that any more than a few hundred bucks was thrown at the entire thing.

Gimme a break.  I doubt that much was even spent.  I think McCain woke up with his first piss hard on in months or even years and picked up the phone.  Two or three days later it was a done deal and they had a press conference that left us asking who?

She’s a one hit wonder.  She’s got no legs as we used to say in the music business.  She may yet exist in our periphery as some sort of pundit or talk show host but she will never again run for office, she has not the fortitude.  By 2012 she’ll be a mere memory of spoiled Alaskan fish on the palates of the intelligent or empty competition for the great unwashed on daytime television.  Probably both, but she’ll be a bigger threat to Springer than to Oprah or Martha or Ellen.  It is where she belongs.  I don’t think she’s dumb, just obviously intellectually lazy.  I can spot a person that hasn’t had their ass kicked in life and that’s because I have had mine own kicked up and down the block.  I’m here to tell you she hasn’t.  What is worse and potentially far more dangerous is that she has had her ass handed to her and she refuses to accept or even recognize it.

The latter is the truth and that makes her crazy and perhaps destructive, but only to the GOP.  Ha!  Good stuff.  Methinks disasters like hurricanes may be on the horizon for the party of “no”.

We’re just about the same age and she is as naive and arrogant as I have ever seen.  Not talking about a river in Egypt here, know what I’m sayin’?

It speaks volumes about the Republican party that she remains their most impressive marquee, their most convincing and visceral star.  I admit, this does excite me.  That their tank is still this empty…….do the math.  Romney?  Guy Smiley, seriously?


My brother in law was the first person I ever heard describe George W. Bush as an “empty suit”.  I’ll happily co-opt that term in describing Sarah Palin.  Um, pantsuit though.

I know women like her.  Personally.  They exist in my own family with all the vindictiveness, jealousy and capacity for baseless recrimination.  They are loathed, feared or laughed at.  Those that are closest to them are the most disgusted or confused.  Occasionally they get punched down from above by those that are merely weary of their shit.  We do like that.

Drinks for my friends.

9 Responses to “Palinoscopy”

  • seriously…
    Throw a stick and hit something that we glorify without logical and reason. Name an award that is meaningful. Are we really talking about Palin’s book? Why? Might as well talk about Britney’s too. I call on my brother, Chuck D in this case: 2nd album; 3rd song

  • admin:

    I’m calling a cunt a cunt here. Stand back.

  • Big John:

    I have to admit, I would like to see her in my bed legs spread begging for a good fuck and no where else.

  • admin:

    Fair enough.

  • gary:

    “I think McCain woke up with his first piss hard on in months or even years and picked up the phone.” FUCKING HILARIOUS Mike!! I’m becoming addicted to your blog… keep up the good work.

  • admin:

    Thanks man, very much!

  • Mysty:

    Can you see Palin and Britney on stage kissing, and wiggeling around together. Out of Siberia comes the Khlysty! Thats northern exposure. I’m so Ho!

  • I’m really confused now. In this post,, you mention how she’s sassy, that her and McCain are Mavericks and that you “like it”. Make up your mind man!!!!

    I will make a prediction, even a bet for that drink that you keep talking about. She WILL be the Republican nominee for President in 2012, mark my words Mike. Just watch.

    Big John, although a bit sexist (I am too!), made a good point. She’s a MILF (more of a bimbo in my opinion) and she’s learning how to work it. If Hillary looked like her she may very well be President right now.

    The conservative element in this country are so desperate, she’s the best they have. She’s it man, there isn’t anyone else. Desperation leads to stupidity. By 2012 she’ll know exactly how to work it and play every “conservative christian” in this country just as W did to get both himself and his dad elected. Just watch.

    This conservative movement is even looking to “re-write” the bible (yet again, as if there aren’t enough versions already) to suit their opinions:

    We REALLY need to become concerned with this “ultra-conservative” movement that is developing. They’re so blinded by their beliefs that they’re blind to reality and are becoming as “fundamentalist” as the Muslims that they consider their enemies. The “pot calling the kettle black” so to speak.

    I look forward to a drink with my friend even more now!!!

  • admin:

    We share the same concerns. You need to read my stuff for context. Trust me, we are on the same page.

    I do genuinely hope they run her though. Oh, the burlesque.

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