ALL ABOUT HARRY (Reid)

My mother worked for him when they were both young and ambitious. They are still friends. He does not forget people.  She had occasion to call his office in DC a few years back for a favor.  He returned her call in half an hour.

When she asked for an autographed copy of his book for my birthday, he delivered it personally, inscribed, and kissed her on the cheek on live television.  His was the first ever campaign I worked in at all of eight years old.

To be fair, I’m a little prepossessed.

The thing about Harry is this: He’ll never end up in a sex or money or ethics scandal. What you see, really is what you get. He’s honest and does the best he can in a demanding and complex job. He spends his days threading needles.  He’s a good and decent man whom I don’t doubt consistently pursues what he believes to be right.  The courage of conviction.  Those like Hannity and Limbaugh would have you believe he’s a turd in the punchbowl.  Consider the source; what they are pointing at is a perfectly delicious Baby Ruth floating there in the garish red and tragically tainted froth.

The man comes from humble.  He paid for his mother’s teeth with his winnings from the ring.

I see these signs around town. Pretty random, often crude or homemade, saying anyone but him. What’s that all about? They know just enough to figure they’re pissed off at him? Too lazy to get a lungful of the alternative (s)?

Chickenshit.

What amazes me is that Nevadans would even flirt with abandoning his kind of juice. In this economy, our state economy,  highest foreclosure rate and second highest highest unemployment rate in the country (and no, it’s not his or Obama’s fault) and they wanna surrender the Senate Majority Leader? There’s everything from very sensitive and contentious water rights to Yucca Mountain, mining, gaming and our share of federal funds.

The guy’s card carrying and endorsed by the NRA. As the head of gaming during organized crime, he carried heat in his briefcase.  There was an attempted assassination. He was a boxer. He was mentored by Mike O’Callahan.  If that last name is not familiar to you, you might not have any business voting in this state.

He has the ear of and quite possibly favors in queue from the emperor.

The pinheads on the right spend as much time kicking at their best interests as they do drinking dogma with their hands protectively on their crotches. They’ll believe any goddamn thing.  No exception here.

I don’t agree with the man on everything. He’s pissed me off. I have my own mind. But I both estimate and understand him to be a good and decent man. He’s a Mormon and I think religion is silly but Mormonism tilts at hysterical.  C’mon, magic underwear? And see, you’d have to look that up; otherwise you’d be none the wiser. Wait until the right finds out or remembers Harry is a Latter Day Saint. He and Guy Smiley (Mitt Romney) might end up dancing cheek to cheek. Who names their son Willard Mitt? Ill advised.

Romney is a good looking but vacuous bastard, yet Harry could do worse. I suspect Harry’s a bit of a closeted Machiavelli. I’m not all that worried about it. Willard will either tie Harry’s shoes or be just slithering, hissing serpentine. I’m hoping for the latter. For the theatre of hypocrisy, of course.

I don’t know what will happen to Harry, but he’ll be fine either way. I hope. He’s a very bright and accomplished man, never making a show of his honesty and convictions.  Soft spoken, even tempered with a punch that most never see coming. It’s the state of the State of Nevada that should be on every mind.

Think of the State of Nevada and think about Sue Lowden in the same breath. The same sentence. She of the poltroons.  The chicken lady. My brother in law once described Dumbya as an empty suit. I kinda think of him in terms of like, less than immaculate conception.  Think gore festooned conception.  Chitty Shitty Bang Bang. Peanutbutter and pretzels and other choking hazards and their threat to infants and the infirm.  Anyway, Lowden’s clearly a pant suit of a whistling breeze. Bimbo flotation device. Not for saying it, but for flogging it without apology over and over. She’s way cheese short of a pizza but you never know. She could be your next spectacularly dumb and least powerful member of the senate.  The line between clever and stupid has rarely been so vast.

Were this to happen, her ascendence, good luck fucktards.

My mother knows her and she confirmed as much. She might have used the word ‘ding-a-ling”.  Without understanding as much, my mother really means “fucktard”.

Maybe she and Michele Bachmann could wrestle in actual toxic crude with Palin as the referee. I digress. It’s what can happen to you on cheap pot and gin you bitches.

Sharron Angle is barely worth mentioning, so that’s all I’ll do.  Eh, Teaparty…..

Danny Tarkanian has his father, a former UNLV basketball coach and his own prowess as an athlete to thank for name recognition.  I kinda like his position on foreign policy, specifically regarding the military and our flagrant use and abuse thereof.

Couldn’t find any evidence of political experience, yet he aspires to fill the shoes of the most powerful and experienced man from Nevada ever?

His positions on health care are typical Republican boilerplate and therefore suck.  Allowing the purchase of health insurance across state lines isn’t a bad idea, but hardly a panacea.  The entire notion of tort reform is obtuse and betrays a frustratingly homogeneous and alarmingly plutocratic stance.  Malpractice litigation accounts for significantly less than than a single percent of health care costs.  It’s a two dimensional effort to afford big insurance ever more autonomy.

Needless to say he waves both flags with the gusto of a lockstep Republican.

Stupid.

On the economy, he supports the repeal of the inheritance tax (realistically only effecting and protecting the hoarders of the filthy lucre), extending the Bush tax cuts to the wealthy including the tax on Capital gains.  You know, the ones that have cost us two trillion dollars and allowed for the top five percent to own and control ninety five percent of American’s wealth?  The most egregious, precipitous and momentous concentration of wealth in the history of humankind.

If that weren’t enough, he opposes a woman’s right to choose.

Don’t know about you, but that’s all I need to know.  He’s a douchebag.

It cracks me up when they have the pompous audacity to label us socialist when they are so overtly fascist.

Less juice than even playboy Ensign. The only aspect of what he did that interests me at all is the money. The payoffs and all that attendant drama. The monkeys of C Street and the inevitable blurry stills of visits by the Devil and Little Red Riding Hood. Pixilated and enhanced.

Nevada will be shat upon without Harry and with either two of these three roundheads.

I’m not crapping you negative. There’s plenty more shit for the fan and now is not the time to surrender to anti-incumbent myopia. I’m saying the challengers might be retarded. Work with me. Ketchup little tomato.

Go with the Trader Joe’s Puttanesca. Honestly, a little good olive oil and the requisite white cheeses and Bob is your uncle.  Remember to cook the pasta “al dente”, drain and refry with a little quality oil stirring rapidly, plate and add the cheese before and underneath the “gravy”.  It never hurts to add fresh tomatoes to the the sauce while it simmers and a little of the wine you’ll be imbibing, especially if it’s the cheap shit.

Ever flashed on how the contemporary cell phone resembles the “communicator” on Star Trek? Of course you have you bitches. If art imitates life, I cant wait for the “tricorder”.

Drinks for my friends.

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