Archive for September, 2008

Hulking giants capable of bending jailhouse bars. Not nearly as bright as some of us. Capable of limb ripping violence, though.

The Gorillas are Race, and Voter Fraud.

I don’t know what to do about election fuckery because I live in California. Evil has no interest in subverting our ballots. It can’t really. We’re a foregone conclusion, in national elections, Californians are consistently in favor of the better choice.

We’re kinda whacky.

Ohio is a long way from here, but it’s been going on there for eight agonizing years. Diebold. What a joke. CEO Wally O’Dell lives in Columbus and said he was “committed to helping Ohio deliver its electoral votes to the President” (Dumbya). -Mother Jones ’04

What kinda retard could possibly be in favor of a paperless system? No hard copy at all?

Check this: http://www.commondreams.org/views04/0225-05.htm

What do I do from Los Angeles about this drooling, stinking Simian?

The ball is yours Ohio. So is the goddamn Ape. You’ve been cheated and lawlessly manipulated. Don’t believe me? John Conyers, a Congressman from Michigan wrote a book “What Went Wrong In Ohio”. Read it. By the way, this guy rocks. Easily one of the bravest members of the United States House of Representatives. If only He and Kucinich could mate.

This election may well be in your hands again and you guys really rolled the pooch over last time and allowed Republicans a violent sexual congress with it. As did John Kerry.

You and Florida are the poster children for polling malfeasance so I’m putting you both on notice. Only you can prevent forest fires. At least Gore, and some Floridians, put up a fight.

We’ll be looking for a little more than that this time around.

Race. The other Gorilla.

My stomach flops and fills with dirty moths. There is no way to alter minds indoctrinated for a lifetime with bigotry and baseless hate in less than sixty days without an aggressive campaign of shame. Probably can’t change many minds, yet embarassing them for it might be effective.

They should be embarrassed. It and they, are archaic and absurd. They are unfortunately, everywhere.

So ubiquitous.

They are us. Inside us all, regardless of pigmentation or country of origin. The conundrum is to own it of self and be unrelenting in recognizing it in ourselves and others. All while consistently swinging a quick bat against it, all the goddamn time.

If the course of human events is allowed to continue on it’s current trajectory because the tipping point is about the color of a single man’s countenance, perhaps humankind will finally reap what it’s sown. The seeds of fear and hate will be allowed to become vines that choke and starve life from the plants of hope and resolution; deliberately deposited pods in a once rich and optimistic Earth.

That would really suck. It would be a shame. Final evidence that humans are ultimately and fatally flawed.

Proof that we suck. More stupid than smart. Our own demise.

I want to remind all of you that this is big. Very big. Bigger than a lot of you can even guess at. If and when you take it upon yourselves to sincerely contemplate the next leader of the free world, please be honest with what you are and remember this is no time to fuck around.

Drinks for my friends.

September 6, 2008 – Saturday – 2:03 PM
Shockingly Bad, UPDATED II Let them Eat Cake, and go to the ER

“I found it shockingly bad” -Jeff Toobin CNN

But after the two conventions, it looks as if Obama and Biden are going to do their best to focus voters’ attention on issues — the economy, the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, energy, and the environment. And it looks as if McCain and Palin have decided to run on a platform of personal history. -Eugene Robinson

After the RNC song and dance, or as it became, “The Sarah Palin Show”, I was left with one question. Is the Republican Party running against the record of the Republican Party? They introduced no new POLICY, nothing to help home owners losing their homes to foreclosure, nothing at all for the middle class or the poor, just more of the same, the same as in the current Republican administration. Is that change?

Well, we did get to see another really sad 911 tribute. I must ask, is the Republican Party any more than a Noun, a Verb, and 911? I can see Rove behind the curtain yelling “Play the fear card!”

As an aside, a Republican Congressman let the cat out of the bag:

Rep. Lynn Westmoreland, a conservative Republican from Georgia, let slip today what critics have been saying is the subtext of many of the attacks on Barack Obama: He’s “uppity.”

According to The Hill, a Capitol Hill newspaper, Westmoreland was discussing Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin’s acceptance speech outside the House chamber today when he veered into his thoughts on Michelle and Barack Obama.

“Just from what little I’ve seen of her and Mister Obama, Senator Obama, they’re a member of an elitist class individual that thinks that they’re uppity,” Westmoreland said.

Given the chance to take it back, or clarify, he didn’t.

Westmoreland briefly gained some national attention when he sponsored legislation to post the Ten Commandments in the House and Senate chambers. Asked by Stephen Colbert in 2006 to name all ten, Westmoreland stumbled. “Um, don’t murder, don’t lie, don’t steal,” he offered, before confessing, “I can’t name them.”

So, as the RNC held their convention, in front of a 99.9% white audience, we get to see what a Real Republican looks like. Seeking to be given privacy in the CHOICE Palin’s daughter made to keep her baby, the Republicans would ensure that no American has the same CHOICE. Since when did less government mean more government in your lives?

The Republicans decided to run against the current administration, Republicans running against Republicans. That should win it for them!

ENOUGH!

J

UPDATE:

Lindsey Graham in his speech last night said: “American combat brigades, who made up the surge, have returned home in victory.”

This just in, Gen. David Petraeus has recommended against any significant reduction of U.S. forces in Iraq before the end of the year. What troops was Graham talking about?

UPDATE II:

Let them eat cake — and go to the emergency room

There’s been a lot of buzz today over the statement by John Goodman, the president of the National Center for Policy Analysis — which is, despite its anodyne name, a hard-right think tank — that nobody is uninsured in America, because you can go to the emergency room. Goodman has described himself, as recently as July 30 in the Wall Street Journal, as a McCain adviser. But now that there’s a stink, the campaign says that he hasn’t been advising them since “earlier this summer.” (How much earlier?) And the campaign says that it doesn’t agree with his views.

But what Goodman says is what a lot of Republicans, from W to Tom Delay, say.

Truly, these people have no idea how the other 99.9 percent lives.
Paul Krugman

This from another excellent writer who’s agreed to let me repost: http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.Confirm&friendID=38827954

Make that naive.

This race for President is what they call a statistical dead heat. Scary. My mind tells me this is to be expected. Most of the electorate are just beginning to pay attention. This scares me too.

They have almost completely assimilated Our Man’s message of “Change”, even after they made fun of it. It’s not a wafer thin slice of deli meat, not even an RCH short, of equal parts creepy and awesome. So depressingly illuminating. Proof that it doesn’t take much too fool some of the people all of the time. Proof that there’s an assload of them.

Same thing they did with patriotism.

I’m having a lazy day so expect nothing above the level of ad hominem, grandiloquent, fucking pomposity.

I gotta tell ya, this shit is ridiculous. Sarah Palin has not strayed from the script by so much as a misplaced pause. They were going to let her play with others on her own starting tommorrow but they understand two things. Not only is she way too short on experience and knowledge of any kind, but there’s enough stupid people in America lusting to hear the same goddamn thing she says every night, word for retarded word, over and over while they languish in their adult diapers.

Bonus, they hang around for Doubtfire.

I’m not here to pretend I’m confused or shocked. I’m thoroughly cognizant of how many mouth breathing, God fearing, dogmatically handicapped there are among us. It feels like the majority.

I’m not here to abandon hope. I’m still convinced our ticket will prevail. It has to. I’m not kidding when I say the future of the human species depends upon it.

Somehow, I retain optimism.

Here’s the deal. Just because they’re stupid doesn’t mean they can’t be manipulated by the forces of good. Proof they are infinitely malleable is the Darkside’s easy exploitation of millions by fear alone. Nothing says they won’t respond to logic and compassion.

It could happen. Regardless of whether it’s possible, it must come to pass. It must be.

What I’m trying to say here at the risk of sounding way too rah rah, is that it’s time for every single one of us to do something. Donate, volunteer, talk to your friends, intimidate your neighbors, staple bumper stickers to the heads of the great unwashed. Have parties. Get hookers and strippers to get other hookers and strippers involved. Recruit. Convince and pummel if necessary. Don’t be afraid to throw hands if they get snide on ya. If they’re like that, it’s a lost cause.

Try to hum the Star Spangled Banner to yourself and be sure to show good posture in administration of your duties as a member of the brighter side of things. Be positive and cheerful. Smile. Show them you care.

We always make the mistake of focusing on the fact that there’s so many idiots out there. Nevermind that it’s sad but true. Understand that if they are engaged in a way that smells good to them, they’ll respond with enthusiasm. Barbecues work and so does booze.

Don’t forget less than savory women and cocaine.

The challenge you face is not winning over the mentally disadvantaged, that which you face is about you and your willingness to see this bud of hope flower. To hold it in your hands as it blooms, feeling it’s soft petals strain against your palms and fingers.

That’s what you can expect if you believe.

I am here tonight to implore you elite and sophisticated pricks to take arms. Coddle, cuddle, convince, cajole, coerce, cudgel and calumniate. Do your best and then your worst. Let them know you’re not here to fuck around. Take charge and blame everyone else if necessary.

GO FORTH

Drinks for my friends.

A cautionary tale.

Had Hitler had not suffered from the delusional ganduer of acute and chronic hubris, we might be speaking German these days. The Germans were way on the nuclear tip. Their rocket technology and know how was far beyond what anyone else understood. They pounded the shit out of London with the V2. They were mere months away from a jet aircraft.

Hitler took on Russia in the winter. Napolean made a similar mistake more than two hundred years before. Russia was Hitler’s demise. Napolean’s as well. Pride and stupidity all the way around.

We lost, as a country, over half a million men in WWII. Lives. Russia spent somewhere in the neighborhood of twenty million. Lives. Twenty million lives.

All I know about Korea is it was ugly and we gained nothing. Net zero. Wait, a pretty good TV show. And Kim Jong-il, he’s the best whackjob on the international stage. I bet the military industrial folks were happy.

Vietnam saw us lose over fifty thousand. Lives. Who really knows the number of Vietnamese lives lost? Millions of Vietnamese lives.

Iraq has seen over four thousand American lives lost, but by some estimates as many as a million Iraqi lives. Lives.

I’m telling you this because it’s relative. It’s relevant.

Vietnam was at best, a misguided idea. The bad idea was allowed to become a huge mistake. The only benefit was enjoyed by the military industrial complex. Ike warned us a decade before but it didn’t take.

The rain falls on the just and the unjust alike.

I’m just gonna skip to a point. WWII was a bloody, horrible conflict. A proud German populace sought to rise above a flogging by the world after the first big stupid war and ended up wading into cruel and vicious zealotry. Evil reared it’s disgusting head. Japan came along and America had itself a war of epic proportions.

As near as I can tell, we had no choice. What we did was impressive. We mechanized all available industrial capability and trained millions to fight and build the engines of war inside of a few years. America didn’t sacrifice the lives or pay the price other countries did, but we were awesome. Pivotal. We got together as a country.

We still paid a heavy price.

It was a good thing, don’t forget, something for which there was no other choice.

As far as I know, WWII is the last just war we fought.

Let’s talk about this one.

Iraq.

They can’t define victory for this scenario because for an occupation, no defintion of victory exists. How to win an occupation? No answer. If there was a definition of victory to be had at all, it would be the public lynching of Saddam. Found him in a hole. Long time ago. Hung him. Been there, done that. Killed his sons. A shameful hour of amateurism. Sad, crude and ugly.

Don’t go all hawk on me. He was a complete bastard that deserved the taste of his own blood.

You know, war is way more fucked up than any of us who haven’t particiapted can possibly understand. That’s why it’s so devastatingly awful, so tragic and insane when war happens for reasons stupid or none at all.

Reasons for this war in Iraq are bogus or not at all.

Imagine being lucky enough to be one of the millions of Iraqis driven from your home as opposed to perishing inside it. Now, if you have the resources, your only option is a foreign country. The only possible safety. Ninety eight percent of these people didn’t ask for this and don’t deserve it.

It is without a doubt, the stupidest thing we’ve ever done. Most Americans are not even aware of the damage wrought. Cities reduced to rubble and the suffering and the blood and death and the horror. American families never again to see sons, daughters, husbands, wives, fathers and mothers.

The world reels, slaps it’s forehead and collapses into a chair. Much of the world, our fellow humans, don’t understand at all.

For what? WMD? An imminent threat that could come in the shape of a mushroom cloud? These jackasses so goddamn inept they didn’t even bother to stage some miraculous discovery to justify such madness. I was convinced they’d contrive some WMD epiphany.

By the way, where the fuck are Condi and Darth? I get nervous when we can’t see what their up to.

What I’m trying to point out here, is that when war is waged for reasons unjust, the end result will never be viewed as any kind of victory by any definition. It’s impossible. America is in the middle of right this now.

Once again, the only benefit enjoyed is by private military and security contractors, and well, the newest wrinkle in global conflict, big oil and the rest of Dick-in-Bush’s filthy friends. This at the expense of well over ten billion dollars a month when you factor the vigorish. Your children will be be paying this debt and the vig for decades. Ask yourself and your friends for what?

For fucking what?

It’s enough to make me projectile vomit with a velocity that allows for not but a fine mist of regurgitate to spot my liberal pinko blouse. A little soda water and I’m as good as new.

This all brings us to the goddamn surge. Far too much gravitas is afforded here. I’m getting sick and tired of Doubtfire taking credit for saving Iraq. It is not saved, safe or won by any means. What it is, is stupid.

A movement dubbed the “Anbar Awakening” among Sunnis in direct opposition to Al-Qaeda in Iraq began in early 2006. The tribes got together to decide enough is enough. They also announced that “this sucks”. They began to cooperate with each other and America.

The United States Government is paying between a hundred and a hundred and fifty thousand Sunni fighters about $300 a month to abstain from engaging US forces and otherwise stop stirring the shit. Part of the deal includes the Sunnis being integrated in to the emerging Iraq infrastructure and new Iraqi government.

This all pre-dates the surge by six months or so.

The crippling flaw is the the abscence of an emerging infrastructure and a vacuum of new government.

Dick-in-Bush have signed a lease that guarantees participation in this clusterfuck for years to come. We walk away and those Sunnis run amok. Chaos, destruction and the stink of death take on a whole new momentum and meaning.

Maher posits the Americans have become so narcisisstic that we expect our President to be just like us. Stupid and underinformed. It’s not so much about Race with Our Man, Americans are reluctant to vote for anyone smarter than them. Fuck me. I want a President that can whoop my ass in a game of chess, checkers, maybe Monopoly or Chutes and fucking Ladders.

Hey McCain, fuck you and your fucking surge. Tell the truth and stop wearing the one unpopular thing you’ve done in a decade as some preposterous badge of honor. You sir, are an idiot. Not so much for the sheer size of the whopper lies you foist upon us, but I pray stupid enough to underestimate an average American’s capacity for the bullshit they represent.

Stop prentending you couldn’t or wouldn’t sell us out. You already have.

You’re a dick.

My threshold of awe is only consistently breached by the fact that Doubtfire is still competive in the polls. Unbelievable.

Imagine what a third world war will look like.

Drinks for my friends.

There’s this guy who I blog dick (the practice of cutting to the head of the line by commenting on the first comment and then leaving my banner/link), that I pick on a little. I don’t take him too seriously but I like to piss him off whenever I can.

He’s written something today that pissed me off for it’s level of douchebaggery.

So, if you want to see who I’m writing to and exactly what he said in his blog “Who vetted Obama?”, you’ll need to go here:
http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=132557808&blogID=430526492&Mytoken=E027339C-F95B-43EA-B0F81E678E0F3225100679766

Here’s what I wrote in response:

Lazy? Dumbya has spent a third of his Presidency on vacation, more than any President in history. McCain makes one campaign stop a day, Obama makes at least four.

I’ve got news for you. The American people vetted Obama.

The rain falls on the just and the unjust alike.

Despite what I may have said to you before, I doubt you’re an idiot. You seem like a reasonably smart guy. So you really um, you buy this shit?

You think Our Man has gotten a free ride? Are you outta your goddamn mind? You reference Jeremiah Wright. The media took it upon itself to beat Obama about the head and shoulders for weeks over it. It was brutal, exhaustive and plenty damaging. I’ll be honest with you, I didn’t find fault with much if anything the guy had to say.

Allow me to point out something else equally as obvious. No such thing as bad publicity. Particularly for a newbie like What’s Her Name. The attention such an incredibly dubious and irresponsible pick for VP has generated is electrifying your easily suckered base. You should be thrilled. Are you too stupid to understand this?

By the way, Obama himself declared Palin’s family and that of anyone else off limits. Beyond that, he will not even discuss it. Even Michael Moore agrees.

Another by the way, Sarah Palin made the anouncement to the media about her daughter’s pregnancy. She announced it you fool. By accepting the job and announcing her daughter’s pregnancy to the press, Sarah Palin is the one responsible for shining the light here.

One more by the way, he admitted his drug use, early and often and was skewered by the media for it. What more do you want?

They will not allow her to be interviewed by anyone but teenage slow pitch Bobby Sox pitchers, however. Trust me. They’ll keep her far from legitimate questions.

You won’t see pictures of her from the side because she’s two dimensional and disappears at 90 degrees off axis. They will feed her words and she will vomit them. She’s proven to be adept in that area. Joe Biden is more than likely to crap on her lunch in the debate, however.

No matter what, he’ll leave a stain. I’m betting on her forehead.

I don’t give a mad fuck what the mainstream media says or does because that’s not who I rely on for the truth. You shouldn’t either. I’d assumed a man of your age and experience would already be cognizant.

Your man McCain has a history as long as Obama’s time on this planet of unsavory characters. Charles Keating *ahem*. The ties you attribute to Obama, specifically Rezko, Wright and Ayers are scurrilous and weak. Bullshit mainstream media talking points.

It’s kinda like you get your information from FOX but choose to whine about MSNBC or CNN.

I hate, hate, hate when you people attempt to reduce things into terms like “baggage handlers”. You think a man who ran The Harvard Law Review couldn’t get a job as a baggage handler? And aren’t you insulting them at the same time?

I’ll stop short of calling you an asshole but I think you just might be.

That brings us to the fact that McCain has been a mainstream media “maverick” darling for the last decade. Are you unaware of this or just willfully ignorant? I mean, please. The man has enjoyed the spotlight since Dumbya handed him his ass but withheld his pride in 2000.

Poor John the war hero. Just like Max Cleland. I just puked in my mouth a little.

Mr. Cleland (D) slaps a hand against his torso because it’s attached to the only limb he has left. The rest of him is in Vietnam. He lost his Senate seat to a moron named Saxby Chambliss (R). Saxby ran ads that pictured Max with Osama and Hussein. Dirtiest campaign on the planet. You’re own man McCain said “[I]t’s worse than disgraceful, it’s reprehensible;”

Rove and the rest of them now working for McCain despite destroying him in the same way in the same year.

You lose. This is the weakest and emptiest blog you’ve written in awhile.

This kind of crap serves no one but you.

Good luck with that.

Drinks for my friends.

First up, Cindy Stepford McCain. Oh boy. Can’t wait.

Out she comes with the whole dam fam minus the Bootlicker and introduces them before dismissing them. She goes to Gustav victims. She speaks like she’s on something. She’s an empty vessel. Maybe her batteries are low. I wonder what she looks like without her face plate.

“If only the Federal Government would get itself under control and out of our way”. She’s boring. Cut to What’s Her Name telling her daughter to “smile for me”.

Sappy, predictable and obvious. Offered in dulcet tones of halcyon. She comes from the house that Anheuser built. She steals mustard packets from fast food restaurants. She always has kleenex on her somewhere.

She manages to highlight the profound lack of substance in every speech thus far at this convention, in stark contrast to the style AND subtance served up by the Democrats last week. No mention of the beleaguered middle class, the suffering poor, health care et al, nor a whiff of what they intend to do about any of it.

Doubtfire is next. I’m looking for policy, metrics, specifics……….

I’m not holding my breath. That’s not to say I’m not touching myself. It’s purely platonic. Intellectual. You know what I mean.

The video introduction is heavy on the POW thing. Ok, I fucking get it. Enough. Oh yeah, and he’s a maverick. Lotsa black folks in the video. Whatever. Talk about a desperate whore for a brand.

He ambles geriatric to the dais. The knot in his tie is mediocre and the garment itself is yellow. Cut to a sign that says you can’t win an occupation. Another cut to a sign that says McCain votes against vets. Chants of USA. He actually mentions Dumbya for keeping us safe or something; offering us proof that although his phallus is withered and dry, his balls touch the water in the bowl.

So far it’s all fluff. He goes on and on. Family, yadda, yadda yadda yadda. He tells us he won’t let us down and he’ll earn our trust. Some grace when talking about Our Man. A little humility even.

Tumescence anyone?

Prosperity and peace is the message as dissenters are manhandled out of the venue. He calls it “ground noise and static” and they laugh. He’s going to stand on our side and fight for our future and he’s found the right patrner to do so. He proceeds to lie shamelessly about her. He’s creepy when he forces a smile after making it a point to lie.

Change is coming he tells us.

Time for a smoke.

He’s gonna veto pork barrel spending. I guess that’s how intends to solve our economic woes. Republicans are astonishingly anti-union.

And then,”rather lose an election than a war”. Fuck me. I’m shirtless so I haven’t ruined my pinko liberal blouse. The communist in me smiles and heads to the bathroom to wash up.

He fights for us he says. He’s nearly as dull as his wife. We’re going to get back to basics. We’re all God’s children and we’re all Americans. A culture of life. As opposed to what? Judges who don’t legislate from the bench. Families and communities. A government that doesn’t make your choices for you.

Uh huh.

Lies about Democrats and taxes. Democrats will close markets. His tax cuts will create jobs. I assume he’s talking about the Bush tax cuts. Good luck with that one Doubtfire. More lies about taxes and healthcare. They eat it up. A bureaucrat will stand between you and your healthcare. Um, ok. That’s different from now how?

Oh, how the great unwashed covet and then adore to feast on the lies.

He offers a follicle of policy without specificity. We’re on to education. His answer is a choice for parents as to where they send their children to school. Good luck with that John. Don’t try to fix it, walk away. Privatize it. That’s breathtakingly stupid in light of the egregious impact deregulation and privatization has visited upon the struggling and downtrodden.

You know, your base, fuckhead?

Good show Bootlicker.

He’s gonna battle big oil. Is that despite the money he takes from them? Drill baby, drill. Again, a modicum of policy in the broadest and most ambiguous of terms.

Terror, terror, terror. Russia and more Russia. International lawlessness. Ha! He knows how the world works. He knows how to secure the peace. He hates war. Good to know.

Vietnam.

Time for a smoke. And a cocktail refresh.

I’m getting sleepy. More POW stuff. War stories. Again, respect an admiration but enough is enough. It’s not a qualification for President. I’m sorry, it’s just not. It’s a courageous story. He may be a better man than me or possibly you, but in light of all else that is requisite, it’s simply not enough.

It makes him suspect.

The camera finds a sign with the word maverick spelled wrong.

He wraps it up with some sentimental euphoria, the balloons and confetti drop and the families take the stage and they play Barracuda by Heart. Wonder how Anne and Nancy feel about that.

Who cares. I give him a D minus. He barely passed. I am not impressed.

At least What’s Her Name was entertaining.

“Don’t let your sly eye ricochet off the silver in a hobo’s pocket”. -Colbert

Drinks for my friends.

Official brainspank forecast. It’s round two and these bastards have lots to do. What’s Her Name will either do a face plant or impress with a fine batting exhibition.

Gonna go blow by blow again.

Put your tray tables in the upright…………

Guy Smiley (Romney) is up. Lame start. So far no magic in the underwear. Tries to say Washington is liberal with a handful of ridiculous points. He says we need to change Washington from liberal to conservative. It is one of the emptiest, factually challenged speeches I’ve ever heard. He actually said, “opportunity expands……when constitutional freedoms are preserved”. He actually said, “It’s time for the party of big ideas, not the party of big brother”. What the fuck?

Non-co2 producing nuclear energy? Huh?

Republicans believe there is good and evil? Good for them.

More bullshit terror rhetoric. Chants of USA.

Guy Smiley never had a day when he wasn’t proud to be an American. Lord knows I have. I’ve been straight up embarrassed to be an American. Republicans are nothing if not vainglorious.

Romney is exactly a twat.

Next up Huckabee. He’s a crazy bastard but I kinda like him. He says the elite media has unified the Republican party because of their tacky coverage. Does anyone not remember the darling status afforded by the media that McCain has enjoyed for like, ever?

Then he has the balls to make change the mantra of his speech. Now he’s off after less government. Now bloviating about taxes and abortion. Republicans never met a cliche they didn’t like. More POW crap. Praise for the veterans because we all know how Democrats loathe the veterans.

I love how they all rail against big government. The United States Government has never been bigger or more inept. Not a single mention thus far, tonight or last night, of Dumbya. Hmmmmm…………. methinks they doth protest too much.

Less empty seats tonight.

Fuck me, Skeletor (Guiliani) is up next. I’m sort of looking forward to him telling some real whoppers.

Here he comes and unfortunately, he’s not in drag.

He has no lips. He says Hollywood celebrities don’t get to decide. Um, ok. Experience. Ha! McCain is a hero. Sacrifice. P.O.W…..blah, blah, blah.

Makes fun of Our Man’s service as a community organizer. Instead of taking the big bucks? Tries to to say Our Man is somehow indecisive, because of his “present” votes. Realistically, not a bad point.

Calls him a celebrity Senator, without leadership or legislation to speak of. So, Sarah has authored copious tracts of legislation has she? Disingenuous at best. Experience……..blah, blah, blah. Change. Taxes, smaller government, more energy independence accompanied by chants of ‘drill, baby, drill’. Retards.

Terrorism. Sept 11, right on cue. Troop surge. Tries to accuse Our Man of being a flip flopper. Huh. As opposed to Doubtfire? Does he really believe this shit? The mayor of New York City touts the service of Palin as mayor of whatever that jerkwater town is. That’s rich. Think if she wasn’t the presumptive VP, Skeletor would even tolerate her as a stain on his shoe?

Forgive me, but Rudy Guiliani is completely full of shit. He has no lips and is overly fond of dressing like a woman.

Here comes what’s her name. Didn’t even have time for a smoke. She is kinda hot. I like chicks in glasses. Standing O.

She’s poised but if I hear the line about losing an election instead of losing a war one more time, vomit will spray from my nose all over my liberal pinko blouse.

Her son is going to Iraq. Predictable praise for the troops. The daughters, Bristol won’t stand because she’s pregnant, seventeen and her boobs are huge. Then we see Trig (sp?). She kinda milks her family. Pun intended. I guess she’s obligated. Todd (husband) hands Trig (sp?) off so he can stand. The parents stand and they look kinda hip.

Seems like a nice family.

She’s a good speaker. Bristol stands. She’s big. Her mom’s hot. Did I say that or think it? The difference between a hockey mom and a pitbull? Lipstick. Not bad.

She does well and goes right after Our Man, they armed her well. She chumps the media. This move always cracks me up but her delivery is spot on.

Michel Martin (NPR) said we underestimate this woman at our peril. Republicans are not smarter than I think, but this woman just may be. She’s good.

She does lie large about the bridge to nowhere.

She lies about her pipeline which goes through Canada.

She does a little foreign policy dance that is over most of their heads. They have no idea what she’s talking about. Stupid white people.

She goes populist, and swings hard. She is the most effective by far produced by her party as a spoiler of Our Man.

Quick to boilerplate and still a marksman. Standard lies and out of context exaggerations. Whatever.

Vicious, aggressive and a goddamn surgical striker. She’s smooth and she’s mean.

She mocks Our Man but pulls it off.

Way too much POW poetry. This is the kind of talk McCain used to shy away from. He avoided it. He shunned it. Now he embraces it and pontificates at length. Ain’t no shame in his game.

She goes long but she never loses them. She’s blown every other speaker off the stage.

And then Doubtfire testifies. Big suprise.

The Republicans have acquitted themselves with an adroit and accurate fist. Gotta say. Well done.

Now, not to drop a steamer in the punch bowl, but kids, try to remember you’re voting for the top of the ticket. No matter what, you’ll be stuck with Doubtfire.

I need to make a point here. In the simplest of terms, people aren’t worth a shit until they’ve had their asses kicked. I don’t trust people who I know, or even sense, have not at least endured some degree of adversity. Myself, I’ve seen some shit, but I doubt it’s enough. I suspect the worst is still on it’s way.

It’s simple really. I don’t see Sarah Palin as someone who’s had her ass handed to her. There’s a certain quality of humility missing. That kind of humility is evident in a dramatic and simultaneously subtle way in Barack Obama.

Sarah Palin is an actress.

Drinks for my friends.

It is wholly appropriate for the velocity of the RNC to be so compromised by a hurricane falling to land on the Gulf Coast almost three years to the day after a hurricane named Katrina did the same. The response, to that storm, which Republicans fucked up so badly, it’s become a stain on the party and an avatar of of their compassionless failure and clueless ineptitude.

They didn’t even know how bad they’d screwed it up until it was almost over. By then, they didn’t care.

“The Republicans can’t seem to get a break when it comes to August and when it comes to the weather,” Karl Rove, -TPM

How convenient it morphed into a reason for preventing Dumbya and Darth from bearing witness; pariahs both in their own party. A little gift from Mother Nature to the Republicans. They clearly weren’t looking forward to that kind of steerage. Nevermind the cartage.

Laura Bush gets up and kicks it off by touting the unfunded mandate we know as “No Child Left Behind”. She says that apparently some fifty million people now live in freedom in Iraq and Afghanistan. Sheezus. First huge lie.

Still, I kinda like her. She has an absent minded dignity that’s a little infectious.

I only say that because somewhere, I have sympathy for her.

Next, we get Dumbya on the satellite. More POW bullshit. Standard bogus boiler plate lies. Empty words from an empty suit. Requisite references to 911. Yawn. I’m reminded for the millionth time that his eyes are too close together.

Thankfully, both speeches are brief.

Lotsa empty seats.

Well then, it’s the obligatory tribute to Reagan. A man who became the catalyst for the devastation of America’s middle class. A man who brought Russia to her knees by outspending them at the expense of America’s workers and the enrichment of the military industrial complex and therefore, the wealthiest among us. Trickle down economics my ass.

Reagan sucked. Why do Republicans insist on being so gay for him?

Fred Thompson’s speech blows. Sarah Palin. What a joke. He tells us the choice for her as VP has panicked the Democrats. Good luck with that. It does crack us up. What a tool. He touts her ability to “field dress a moose”. Do I need to highlight the obtuseness of that? I hope not.

We hear more about Doubtfire’s time in Vietnam. I respect his service and his sacrifice, but that’s where it ends with me. I’m impressed. But that’s it. He gives credit to Republicans for balancing the budget and rebuilding the military. Good luck with that too. He’s lying. The second huge lie. I think that was a guy named William Jefferson C.

John McCain will not feel the need to apologize for America. Arrogance. Then, what has become beyond trite and cliche, the tax scare and abortion. Republicans are still that stupid. Fred Thompson is that stupid.

What’s up with all the empty seats?

All the crowd can manage to chant is USA. They can’t seem to wrap a rythm around two syllables or four.

I guess Benedict Fliptop (Lieberman) is up next. Oh boy. I really hate this guy.

He goes to the economy and terrorism right away. He takes a swing at unity. The camera pans to Gingrich a handful of times. Curious. The camera finds a Black guy standing and clapping. Bonus.

Colbert would demand an Asian.

Lieberman tells us he’s a Democrat. Bullshit, He’s an Independent. Democrats abandonded him because he’s an idiot. Whatever. His speech is completely empty. No substance. I see a Democrats for McCain sign but ‘Democrats’ is spelled wrong. Take what you will from that.

I must tell you that although I’m an aspiring pacifist, I fantasize about punching Benedict Fliptop in the mouth. Hard. A haymaker. What a douchebag. The only reason he’s there is because he wants war to continue, he wants it to grow. All I see is a man who cares far more about Israel than he does America. I loathe him.

They have nothing. The Repubilcans have shown up to a firefight with those cool Star Trek toy guns that shot little plastic discs. Remember those? If not, please substitute squirt guns in your mind’s eye.

What we have here, is a failure to communicate.

There’s some post convention interviews on the floor as I leave CNN’s coverage. A group of delegates from Texas all dressed in matching outfits. They say they are proud of Dumbya for what he’s done for pro life issues and faith based institutions. They say it was painful to applaud to applaud Bill Clinton.

Forgive me here, but you’ve got to be fucking kidding me. All that goes on in the world every goddamn day and that’s the top of their goddamn list?

By the way, Campbell Brown rocks. She pissed on Tucker Bounds’ lunch. She did it with restraint and discretion and still cleaned his clock because he was woefully unprepared. I guess it cost Larry King a McCain interview tomorrow night. What a pussy is Doubtfire.

The demonstrations and the arrests continue to gain mass and attention. This may end up being half the story.

Drinks for my friends.

09/01/08 7:01AM
Sarah Palin: Government Corruption Up Close & Personal
As more information comes to light about Sarah Palin — the “reformer” Governor who supposedly “took on corruption” in state government — a fascinating recording has surfaced of a phone call from Palin’s office in which direct pressure is brought to bear on the Police Department to fire State Trooper Mike Wooten.

By way of back-story, Wooten was married to Palin’s sister, and the couple went through an acrimonious divorce. Prior to Palin’s election as Governor, the Palin family presented a list of 14 accusations against Wooten to the Police Department (including using his patrol car to pick his kids up from school and illegally shooting a moose). The charges were investigated, and Wooten was given a 10-day suspension.

When Palin took office, she, her husband, and her staff began putting pressure on the Commissioner of the department, Walt Monegan, to fire Wooten. Dozens of communications were made to the Department by the Mayor’s staff. Monegan resisted the pressure and did not fire Wooten. Monegan was subsequently fired from his job as Police Commissioner.

When allegations were made that Monegan had been improperly terminated, Palin initially denied that she or her staff had put any pressure on Monegan. (She then changed her story once recordings surfaced showing members of her staff directly pressuring police officials to fire Wooten, at which point she claimed that the calls were unauthorized.)

Following is a link to a recording of a phone call between Frank Bailey (the Mayor’s Director of Boards & Commissions) and Lieutenant Rodney Dial of the Public Safety Department. Its fairly long, so readers might not want to listen to the whole thing (although if you have the time, its a fascinating case study in the slimy methods by which public officials exert pressure without actually saying anything incriminating).

Recording of Phone Call Between Frank Bailey and Rodney Dial

Excerpt: After a lengthy discussion of all of the reasons why Wooten should not be kept on as a trooper, Bailey (the Mayor’s Director) says to Dial (the police lieutenant), “Todd and Sarah [Palin] are scratching their heads, ‘Why on earth hasn’t this, why is this guy still representing the department?’ He’s a horrible recruiting tool, you know.” Dial assures Bailey that the department wants to do anything it can to keep the Mayor happy. Bailey’s response is an example of classic back-room political sleaze:

Dial: You know, its very important for us that the Governor have a good opinion and impression of the [police] department. I mean we care very deeply about what she thinks about the department. And, you know, I don’t want it to appear that we don’t.

Bailey: You know, you know I appreciate that so much, and I’m telling you, honestly I mean, she um, you know she really likes Walt [the Police Commissioner] a lot, but on this issue, she feels like its… she doesn’t know why there’s absolutely no action for a year on this issue. Um, its very, very troubling to her and her family. You know, I can definitely relay that. You know?

Dial: Well, um, please tell her that, you know, I certainly am concerned, and I will immediately get on the phone after we’re done and see if there’s something that the department does not know about this, um something more that can be done, maybe some additional information that you don’t have that I can pass on.

——–

Hmm, on second thought, maybe Palin actually does have all the “experience” she needs to be Vice President…

note from admin:
This is a guest blog that originally included a hyperlink. I’m a smartard so it was fifty fifty. Here’s a a cut & paste for ya.

I have two. I adore them. They are polar opposites.

I adore them. I just can’t help it.

A warehouse worker named Justin brought a girl kitten he’d named Cali to us one morning some ten years ago. An adorable little calico his own cat had birthed.

A recovering tweeker, Justin never had a shot at being anything but a knife with a dull blade, some rust, in an unpopular drawer. He believed KFC was selling cloned chickens. He believed homosexuality to be a sin despite never having seen the inside of a church. He ruined every CD I ever loaned him and refused all accountability in almost every situation.

He was hoping we’d take her as a warehouse cat. Rick and I love cats. No brainer.

I became Cali’s dad. I fed her, scooped and changed her litter and made sure she always had fresh food and water. I loved her, petted her and played with her for almost a decade.

Since then:

My girlfriend The Fish, moved into my Hollywood apartment. We got our own cat from an animal rescue.

The Bean. Tondaleo Bean The Negress. A shiny black little girl kitty with a head way too big. Early photos are evidence she was in danger of tipping over. She was a delight. We loved her. She was willfull, spoiled and incredibly bright. In my dreams she spoke to me while she wore glasses. She didn’t like the vacuum cleaner and would try to pick a fight with it if we left it out. She would literally punch it. Certain closet doors had to remain open or she would throw a fit.

Her entire life she joined me in the bathroom every morning while I took my constitutional. Every morning I gave her the hard rub. I would lower my hand to arms length and scratch her head with considerable force she supplied. She would signal she was done with a quiet yelp and I would pick her up and kiss her head. After that I’d let her out, finish my business and get in the shower. Every morning until the day she died. She once woke The Fish after knocking a roll of toilet paper in the open toilet.

We moved to the Valley and got another one. Hoover. Hoover Congolia The Simian. A cautious tabby with her own agenda. Very sweet and gentle. Hoover loved The Bean and it didn’t take her long to win her over. We were a happy family. Me, The Fish, Hoover and The Bean.

Hoover and The Bean waited every night at kitchen’s edge for a treat before I made my martini.

We got engaged. There was a gorgeous ring. We bought a big beautiful house in a bedroom community and got ourselves a boy. Havoc. Lawrence The Earl Of Havoc. A good boy. A sweet boy. Yet we named him Havoc for a reason.

“The naming of cats is a difficult matter. It isn’t just one of your holiday games. You may think at first I’m mad as a hatter, when I tell you a cat must have three different names.” -T.S. Eliot

I taught all three of them to fetch. They became experts, all three.

On December fourth, two thousand and four, The Fish found The Bean dead at the bottom of the stairs by the entrance to the laundry room. There was a small puddle of urine where her bladder had let go. I was devastated. She was already somewhat stiff when I lifted her to a box. Barely six years old. Her cremated remains are on top of my fridge to this day. She liked the top of the fridge. Her mission was to seek and then conquer the highest point in any room of the three places she lived. Upon achievement of her conquest, she indulged herself by standing proudly and staring down at anyone who happened to pass by.

She showed up on schedule the morning before her death for the hard rub and a kiss on the head.

I suppose I’m lucky to tell you that it was the saddest time of my life so far.

My life became flat. No real highs and most of it below the surface. There was no reason for her to leave, no reason for her to die. I’d invested my heart into this gorgeous animal. I loved her very much.

We moved the business to another warehouse that had been built out to our specifications. Cali had a new home. First thing every morning was to drop my stuff in my office and go looking for her. She’d call to me to let me know where she was.

Her name became Gurly Gurl, The Gurry and then The Swirly Gurl with a whistling ‘s’.

Time passed. Still I was sad. Everyday was a competition with melancholy.

Things seemed good. We gardened and landscaped and took out a home equity loan. I loved and fawned over the two cats we still had. It wasn’t the same. Neither was I.

More time passed.

We vacationed in the wine country and took a cruise.

Then, The Fish and I split up. We divided most everything and sold the house. We each rented apartments. I started therapy, went on Paxil and blood pressure medication following some debilitating panic attacks.

She took Hoover and Havoc, we weren’t interested in splitting them up and Hoover was her daughter.

I had a dream last night that Hoover had drowned and I could see her floating just below the surface. It killed me.

After eight years in two different warehouses, I brought The Swirly Girl home. She sits next to me, staring at me and frownng a little as I write this. She owns an excellent frown.

She is voluptuous and soft. Huge green eyes and a naked stare. Very funny when she wants to be. Comes to bed with me and positions herself within petting reach. Doesn’t like being kissed on the head but will tolerate it occasionally. Bails once I start to snore.

She’s gotten a little grumpy in middle age. I like to make fun of her when she gets that way. I like it when she hisses at me, that’s when I kiss her head. She has the best face on the planet.

I adore them.

Both.

There’s the little one too. Rick found a litter behind the warehouse, days old, put them in a box and brought them inside. I was crapping in the bathroom next door when I heard them yelling. Timmy washed them off in the sink and The Fish took them to the Vet.

She bottle fed them, massaged their naughty bits so they would poop and pee and basically did a wonderful thing. She kept one named spider, Rick took one named Sumo and I took the female, a runt named Beddy, short for Bedhead.

Gorgeous medium fur, shiny black. A long body and long legs but very petite. Her fur grows long between the pads on her feet. I’ve never seen that before.

She has a sharp angular head. Aerodynamically sound. The longest tail I’ve ever seen on a feline.

Half squirrel. She’s quite the athlete. From the bed to the top of a six foot bookcase, no sweat. From a granite counter to the top of a very expensive and smoothly finished speaker three feet away. She does it by hopping and there’s not a scratch on that speaker.

I’ve had her over a year. She’s tiny. Hysterically funny. If she’s not trotting with urgency she’s strutting with a brusque demeanor. I’ve taught her to yell at me in the kitchen for a treat. She’s gotta speak up or try again later. She talks a lot. I like that.

When she wants my attention, she hits me in the back with her two front feet. Then she jumps on my shoulders or she yells at me.

They get along. Swirly would make short work of her otherwise. She is twice her size. They are not the friends I’d hoped they would be however. They don’t seem to mind.

My reward as I climb into bed is an elongated stain that is both clumpy and wet. My left ankle sends me messages about what it’s encountered and it’s all wrong.

I get up, turn on the lights and find a towel for my ankle. I wet the towel. Wring it out and wipe my self off again. Repeat and then go it to wipe up the puke and hair one of them has deposited in my bed. I find some clorox wipes and use them. I fall asleep sweating from the effort.

They visit me before dawn. I rub on them and they park their bodies warm and rattling with happy breathing against mine.

It’s always so pristine before the sun busts the horizon.

When driving, if I see a dead animal on the road, it never fails to ruin my day.

Every action is accompanied by an equal and opposite reaction don’t ya know.

Proof of a higher power can be found in the benevolence of cats.

Drinks for my friends.