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Michael

Michael Douglass

Last Updated: 3/10/2010

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Pfffft
Current mood:Ponderous
Category: Quiz/Survey
1.
how are you?

I Meant to tell you, I’m tragically afraid of grasshoppers.

2.
who was the last person you hugged?

A man with large biceps that laid carpet for a living. I barely avoided arrest.

3.
look to your left, what do you see?

A full busted woman named Maximillian

4.
where do you like to be the most?

On a bidet, as long as the water is warm

5.
whats your fave film?

Kodak, or that film on your teeth that accompanies a scorching hangover.

6.
what does the last person you commented on myspace mean to you?

A roll of quarters.

7.
what did you last laugh about?

Tater Tots. It was a gleeful chuckle. Ketchup and salt bitch. Pine tree shaped air fresheners. Canned fruit. Men with stupid haircuts that eat lime Jello with mayonnaise and pineapple on top.

8.
where was your default took?

On top of Old Smokey, all covered with cheese.

9.
whats the first thing you look for in a girl/guy?

Boobs. Money. Sturdy boots and a walking stick. Modern appliances. A well stocked pantry. A fondness for liquor.

10.
if your still in school, whats your fave lesson?

Gravel management. Meatstick management. Really stupid shirt supervision.

11.
what do you work as / want to work as?

Kraft foods, Velveeta division.

12.
do you play video games? if so, which is your fave game?

Pong.

13.
who never fails to make you laugh?

Rod Blagojevich and Christians.

14.
what are you listening to right now?

The sigh of brainrot.

15.
who did you last have a sleepover with?

Licky the Carniverous Pony.

16.
i bet you miss someone, who?!

Pistol packin’ mamas.

17.
are you happy with your life right now?

I’ve never been closer to it sucking ass.

18.
why did you last get upset?

Salad. A lack thereof.

19.
who was the last person you texted?

Marcus Xavier Sasparilla. I like women with big asses.

20.
who do you live with?

Beddy & Swirly. They rock.

21.
do you like living with them?

Swirly poops on the bathroom floor and Beddy pisses indiscriminately. I adore them. I would kill for them.

22.
whats your mood right now on myspace?

Incendiary.

24.
did you realise that there was no 23?

Collapsible drinking cups. I prefer a ‘Z’ in my realize.

25.
what does your profile song mean to you?

Silence.

26.
who did you last shout at and why?

I just want a normal life with a nice place to live and sometimes I’m afraid that’s not going to happen because I turned 44 yesterday.

27.
It’s not normal to be any specific way.

Unless one is specifically and rigidly random.

28.
what was the last thing you went to see in the movies and with who?

I went “in the movies” to see a man about a horse. He wasn’t there. There was a wonderful concession stand. I tied a bandanna over my nose and held it up with a realistic looking water pistol. I fled the scene with pockets full of skittles, Junior Mints, and those neon colored sour worm things.

29.
whats your fave food?

I like buffets with lotsa rich cheesy food. Salad bars with good cherry tomatoes and various cheeses. Anything deep fried. Anything combining raspberries and dark chocolate. I like pasta with cheese. Mixed field greens with onions, tomatos, balamic viniagrette dressing and bleu or feta cheese. I like triple creme brie as a leave in hair conditioner. Sushi. Why doesn’t Asian food go well with cheese? I’m thinking albacore with cream cheese.

30.
are you in love?

I’m in incapacitated, intolerable, insatiable and intubated.

31.
do you remember how you was 3 years ago?

Yeah bro, how was you?

32.
if so, does it make you cringe?

Tit tattoos. Fat men in tutus. Ann Coulter. Rush Limbaugh. Dive bar toilets.

33.
if you could be with someone right now, who would it be?

Dumbya. I’d wouldn’t let him go until until I knew for certain just how dumb he is.

34.
do you have any blogs on your myspace?

I have no blogs on your myspace. Try brainspank.org.

35.
whats your fave thing in your room?

Four different kinds of pudding in four different corners.

36.
is this quiz boring you?

It’s pissing me the fuck off.

37.
if you had one wish, what would you wish for?

A mink toilet seat.

38.
when was the last time you lied?

I was offering a young girl candy to get in my van.

39.
are your lips chapped?

Ask the little girl.

40.
any last words?

My girlfriend stole my cheese. A bag of “quatro formaggio” from Trader Joe’s. She alleges she was justified in doing so because my refrigerator is in disrepair and I had no method to properly store my bag of many cheeses.

Weak.

Cheese needs no refrigeration. Any fool knows that.

Drinks for my friends.

Currently listening:
Bad Music for Bad People
By The Cramps
Release date: 1990-10-25