Terrible Optics

The Republicans just can’t help it. Tone deaf arrogance. I am in awe. They appear unable to help themselves, despite themselves, in spite of themselves, because of themselves.

This time, they’ve outdone themselves and just may undo themselves.

Oh, the humanity……gorgeously profane, grandiose and so profoundly disgusting.  They would have you believe that BP has been subjected to a “shakedown”, the result of “Chicago Style Politics”, fomented and engendered by the Obama administration.  This after delivering to us the greatest man made environmental disaster in the history of this country.  The truth is, that $20 billion goes to the people of the region, and they deserve it.  Generations of industry that will never, ever recover.  EVER.  People sickened as far away as Atlanta from the mere fumes.  That $20 billion ain’t shit.  There better be more.

But picture the pelicans, festooned with crude, unable to fly or swim, shaking, confused and about to die because they can’t even breathe.  The whales being exploded, literally by our military, because they are too massive to remove.  The dolphins dead, eyes staring at nothing, coated in BP’s filthy treasure.  The turtles being burned alive.  Simply because BP cut corners to massage profits.  The fourth most profitable company in human history and the Rand Pauls and Michele Bachmanns would have you believe our administration is bullying them over their responsibility, their culpability.

Who the fuck are these sociopathic idiots?

They step on their own dicks like the drunken, moneyed fools they so obviously are.

I feel like puking.  I hate them.

It just might bear out that the only lining to even glisten in the aftermath of this outrageous environmental, ecological and economic event horizon, is the stumble fuck reveal of true colors, flown like a freak flag with unmitigated insouciance by a fair number of Republican fucktards.  Staining the entire party much to my chagrin.  And glee.

It really is egregious enough that goofcocks like Limbaugh, the Human Shitsmear and Hannity, so willingly pontificate in defense of asshole corporate entities like BP.  It is an entirely different matter that elected representatives like Michele Bachmann, Rand Paul, Haley Barbour, John “Agent Orange” Boehner”, Joe Barton, Mike Pence, Price, King……. choose to stick an already sticky foot in such overt shit.  And then of course, much to my perverse and guilty amusement, right in their giant cake hole maws.

Where do we put “drill baby drill” Sarah Palin in all this?  We place her as stupid and two dimensional as ever.  Flick her with you finger to discover she disappears from the side view.  She is expert at nothing.  “That woman is an idiot.” -Keith Olbermann

Should these glaringly true colors prove insufficient enough to hobble the Republican party as a whole……..well then, America embraces stupid is as stupid does at least enough to deserve exactly what she gets.  We reap what we sow.  This is exactly a cautionary tale.  Pay attention.  Herein lies the fundamental difference between Republicans and Democrats, between evil avarice and ordinary Americans.

Democrats can be real shits, but not this brand of obtuse fuckery.

Forgive me, but it’s obvious.  They, BP, knew the disaster they were flirting with. They knew.  What we already know proves it.  11 dead men and a culture of corruption that boggles.  I’m confident what we don’t know is beyond any pale.  Tony Hayward along with Goldman Sachs dumped millions of dollars of stock days beforehand.  There’s not a doubt in my mind.  They owned the scale and scope of this prodigious clusterfuck with which they so willingly danced.  How any elected American representative would choose to join such a carcinogenic waltz after the fact baffles me.  It is Intellectual Incontinence.  By that I mean Shit For Brains.

Anybody heard from that prick bastard Cheney by the way?

I hate to love to tell you that the so much of the much anticipated prevail of the Republicans in the midterms may not transpire.  It may fail to bear fruit as a direct result of their own chronic myopia.  I adore the irony.  They visit this disservice upon themselves for once by virtue of laying naked what they actually believe.  What they really think.  What they consider is not human life or wild life.  What they consider is where the money comes from for their re-election, and that is all.  Instead of lying like amateur adolescents, they just might have screwed the pooch by telling the truth as they understand it.  Revealing their abject fucktardedness.  I adore it.

This is very bad, so fuck them.

And this just in:  Today some federal judge in Louisiana ruled against the Obama administration’s six month moratorium to halt deep water drilling until it can be figured out what the hell went wrong, how to prevent it and what to do should it go so catastrophically wrong again.  Big oil was pleased despite what another similar disaster would do to their industry.  Despite what it would do to the people, the economy and whatever ecosystem it might and most probably will occur in again.

I believe this judge needs a bath in The Gulf of Mexico.

This is regoddamndiculous.

What we absolutely must understand, is that this is not by any means a worse case scenario.  As ugly and vulgar as this is, we ain’t seen nothing yet.

“The details of my life are quite inconsequential… very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we’d make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum… it’s breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.”  -Dr Evil.

Drinks for my friends.

10 Responses to “Terrible Optics”

  • bill:

    blah blah blah

  • Michael Douglass:

    Hey bill, bring it. That’s your best I take it? Is your vagina a little too sore tonight?

  • chaz kinbote:

    hatters gonna hat. but you know that, bro.

    speaking of cheney, what the fuck is up with that cockbag? i’m mean, sure, we can all get why he’s laying low. but what i’m talking about is, how the fuck is this embodiment of evil even still alive? 6 fucking heart attacks, multiple surgeries, and this fucker still walks the planet. was his pact with the devil that fucking good? i don’t care how much goat placenta that prick consumes every day, he should be no more. but until the grim reaper gets off his ass and takes care of that waste of sperm, i’m taking bets. when they try to sell the farm, how many little boy’s skeletons do you think they’ll find in his root cellar? i’m gonna go with 43. which is my way of saying, “one dollar, bob…”

  • Robert Charpentier:

    My father spent most of his adult life ranting that it was just a matter of time before the American people saw through the Machiavellian maneuverings of regressive conservatives. Had he been unfortunate enough to reflect on this in his last moments, he would have died disappointed. Michael, I agree with many things you say in this article but I do not share your optimism that there will be some kind of great awakening amongst rank-and-file voters. If anything, it seems they are more influenced than ever by the twisted bombast of fear peddlers like Glen Beck and Ann Coulter. I believe the sad reason for this is fact that conservatives consistently provide easy-to-understand “solutions” to intensely difficult problems while liberals persist in appealing to an “intelligence” that, if there, is invariably canceled out by lazy gullibility.

  • REIYA:

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