They don’t lie. They elide.

McDonald’s has a double Filet O’ Fish on the menu, but the picture shows only one slice of oil based synthetic cheese among the two crispy patties.  When I order it, I’ll make sure it has two slices of oily cheese and I’ll fucking pay for that extra greasy slice. Gimme a side of that tartar goop for my hair.  My latest thing is a large, unsweetened iced tea and a hash brown from the drive thru for my bleary morning ramble to the salt mine.

I hear the Shamrock Shake is in season.  I’ll let you know.

Rush Limbaugh doesn’t respect his audience.  He doesn’t care about anything he says.  George Will infamously pointed out that all the Republican sycophants, especially the candidates, fear him. Nancy boys.  Indeed, the titular head of the Republican party does not give a shit about the Republican agenda or what gets elected.   No matter the outcome,  he will spew toxins in water wherever he swims.  He doesn’t give a mad fuck.  See, in light of the current Republican candidates, he flaunts more power and control than any of the jackasses actually running for power and control.  I am giddy with anticipation.  Now he  goes to commercial and it’s dead air.  All national advertising has been “suspended” from his show.  He should  seek council from Glenn Beck.

What we are witnessing here is historic.  The face of the Republican party folding in half.  Melting on itself like a bag of caramels in the sun.  As breathtaking as a freshly shorn scrotum.

So gorgeous that these fatuous jackwagons Santorum and Limbuagh have picked a fight with over half the population and waltzed, with misogynistic hubris and arrogance, into a buzz saw of vagina.  How can anyone in the 21st century oppose contraception for women?  Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.  How dumb can you be?

These are interesting times.  HBO drops this movie “Game Change”, that is simultaneously withering and credible at the same time the latest version of the GOP primary is ten times sillier.  This is what it is; the sober men in the room understand that this lunch will be handed to them.  They know they will not prevail in this election on a presidential level.  They are just looking to save face and  Guy Smiley is the best looking guy in the room.  They understand that he’s electorally inept and all they’re hoping for is an exit as graceful he can afford them so they can purpose all their filthy lucre, lust, greed and vainglory on Congress.


Beware the Frumious Bandersnatch.

So last night, Santorum wins the two dumbest states of the union in a long tradition of mentally compromised Republicans voting inverse to their own best interests.  Alabama and Mississippi. Jewels in the crown of ignorance and the absence of dental care.  Frothy lost his last bid for the Senate by 18 points in Pennsylvania.  He got crushed in his home state and now he’s The Cracker Conservative.  Sheezus.  That talent pool has no moisture left to puke.

Ladies and gentlemen, the contemporary Republican party.  But first, please enjoy the stylings of Donny and Marie.  One must wonder if even the Osmonds will vote for Mittens.  The only thing saving Mitt from himself and Santorum is a salamander named Newt.  He splits the crazy.

Is this so bad it’s good?  It just might be.

What we have here is inevitable.  Social Darwinism.  Knuckle draggers being sucked into the ooze along with their pomaded misanthropes.  I don’t know enough about media and advertising to know for sure, but this definitely looks infected to me.  Pardon me while I contain my enthusiasm.  Are you gonna eat that?

I’ve been saying for two years that the GOP has nobody.  It is gratifying to see it enacted live on my television nightly.

Still, watch your ass.  That guy in the pool with a knife clenched in his teeth is your friendly neighborhood Republican.

Drinks for my friends.




8 Responses to “They don’t lie. They elide.”

  • You said what I thought but no one else pointed out “So last night, Santorum wins the two dumbest states of the union…” He’s happy, like that’s a VICTORY?

  • Spaceman:

    Punka, yer writing is developing into a snarling, erudite, king-hell minefield of prose politic. i will drink mightily from yer trough tonite. Drinkin’ (and thinkin’) with my friend. yrs>whittaker

  • Wow, I had to look up a few of those Mike!!
    You know I am not as far out there as you. But, I have three little words why we should not only make contraception available to all females, but in some cases forcibly administer it: “Snooki is pregnant”

    I rather pay for the condom and the pill than that Jersey welfare case.

    Raising a pint for you, it is Friday afternoon at Frame Architecture, Inc….(yeah, I take the tax breaks, deal with it)

    • Michael Douglass:

      Ha! Excellent point Jeff, I’m just so in awe at this behavior that fails to even acknowledge that their’s much bigger fish to fry-they seem so content to merely cook a few goldfish with a butane lighter.

  • Thomas hathawy Watson jr:

    Funniest shit I read in years. And Sooooooo True! thank you for writing what I have been saying since 2010!

  • Michael Douglass:

    You’re entirely welcome and thanks for reading.

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