The Get Drunk, Pass Out and Wake Up In The Closet Thinking You’re Empowered Party.

Friends and neighbors,

There is no third party. Green is not a political message.  The libertarian message is a callow republican advocacy for selfishness but you get to smoke pot.  Libertarians are assholes and the greens parachute candidates in without doing groundwork, homework or hard work. No structure.  No infrastructure.  No character development. No suspension of disbelief. No reason to give a shit.

Health care is a right.

Education is a right.

They aren’t free.

They aren’t a privilege.

Our taxes should pay for them.

Poorer countries make these two things happen everyday without breaking a sweat. They aren’t subject to the ability of their governments to kill as many people as fast as possible no matter what blood and treasure.

Trump’s message was a lie meant for stupid people but it was simple.

He won.

Simple messages work spectacularly well.

The simplest message ever sold to Americans is that we’re broke.  That we can’t afford to take care of everybody. It’s a lie. We’re the richest country in history.  Cut “defense” spending by 25% and end all corporate welfare.  The last things we need this century are more aircraft carriers, tanks, nukes or tax cuts for people who make as much in an hour as we do in a year. That much money, we could go out on a limb and promise to end homelessness, repair roads and bridges, cure cancer and reunite estranged socks.

If a third party in this country were to devote its entire platform exclusively to the health and education of American citizens at the expense of our ability to make war, me and about 10 million other losers looking for free shit would sign up tomorrow. I know I’m reaching here, but a third party in this country with over ten million members would definitely be cooking with butane.

The party manifesto would be explicit. No Bozos. Neoliberals would be seen as no different than neoconservatives. Nobody capable of communicating the insidious pathogen of greed.  Not one goddamn five thousand dollar suit trading in mass destruction or fear of any kind.  No fucking arms merchants or military contractors.  No fossil fuel jackwagons. Not a single greasy banker, Wall Street goofecock or slimy lobbyist.

I understand I could be splitting the atom here.  Marquee democrats like Warren and Booker would never ever get behind something so audacious.  They wouldn’t be invited anyway.  It’s a threat to their promiscuity.  The champagne wishes and caviar dreams of neoliberals will be compromised.

Enough money can be raised from individual contributors.  The paradigm is shifted.  The worm has turned. Some local hero could drop the hammer tomorrow and become the most prominent force multiplier in American politics within six months.  At least ten million people are waiting for it.

A very simple message.  There is no fear, hate or greed in it.  It’s the kind of message that gets candidates elected.  The kind of party that could be viable in a heart beat.

Drinks for my friends.




2 Responses to “The Get Drunk, Pass Out and Wake Up In The Closet Thinking You’re Empowered Party.”

  • C Thomas Payne:

    Like this.

    Neoconservatives are neoliberal, by the way. It is good to see that.

    Quoting Bukowski and Barfly.. nice closing touch. 🙂


  • As usual loved your posts; it’s been a while since I enjoyed them. People like to say, “I wrote the book on that,” but in this case I actually did. A third party that is TRULY Of the people, By the people and For the people. I titled it the Patriot Endeavor, a fictional account of what it would look like if lazy Americans got off their fat asses and took back their government from the lying thieves in Washington. While the book is still for sale, much of the data and corruption are dated and I intend to rework it before the mid-terms and re release it. Universal health care, education reform, infrastructure – it’s all doable if we stop allowing ourselves to get royally fucked by the plutocrats hell bent on funneling $ to their corporate cronies, especially the military industrial complex, big pharma bankers. This nation is still salvagable but the window is closing. Thanks for your great takes!

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