Archive for the ‘Anderson Cooper’ Category

I knew this bomb of a tome set sail some time ago. If I knew, they knew. Trust me. McClellan telegraphed both the book and the tone thereof, months ago when he was quoted on Plamegate.

“The most powerful leader in the world had called upon me to speak on his behalf and help restore credibility he lost amid the failure to find weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. So I stood at the White house briefing room podium in front of the glare of the klieg lights for the better part of two weeks and publicly exonerated two of the senior-most aides in the White House: Karl Rove and Scooter Libby. There was one problem.
It was not true.
I had unknowingly passed along false information. And five of the highest ranking officials in the administration were involved in my doing so: Rove, Libby, the vice President, the President’s chief of staff, and the president himself.”

Again, I first read that months ago. I was a little excited. Excited like Easter morning. Excited about the egg hunt, the toys and the chocolate. In my family, it was Easter, Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Why are they all acting so suprised? This train has been belching steam for months.

Some senior campaign spokeshole for the Pantsuit named Kitty or something pined away for decency, insinuated Pasty McSquinty had somehow exhibited bad form. Whined that he had committed some political and ethical faux pas. He should have at least waited until the administration was allowed to escape. David Gergen piled on a little. He bristled at Anderson Cooper’s musing that they’re there to spin and obfuscate anyway.

Let me give you my take on it. Looks like Mr. Pasty McSquinty is my new mythical rabbit. Hoppin’ down the bunny trail. This is fascinating and glorious. I used to hate this bastard. This guy was infuckingside. They used him every day. Sent him out to be a pinata. I used to howl at him. It was comedy. They sent this poor fuck out in a straight jacket, day after day, with the words “sign language only” ringing in his ears.

I said back then it looked like the worst job in the world.

He went home and broke pencils for a while. Built birdhouses. Seethed. A quiet, but accomplished man who valued loyalty. He began to realize he was the cannon fodder they intended him to be. It was a severe blow to his heart and his ego.

Eventually, he felt liberated.

He found a passion for gardening. His flowerbeds were breathtaking.

He was able to masturbate in the shower again.

Then he wrote a book.

What he’s done is gone postal in an upper echelon Executive Branch kinda way. He’s effectively crapped down the neck of Dick-in-Bush.

On a related note, the guy who composed and performed the whistling theme song for Opie Cunningham and Andy Griffith died today.

Despite that last caveat, it’s a gorgeous set of circumstances. I thinkk the official release is Monday, the second of June. It will be Easter to me. I’ll buy the book, some candy and go to a diner for breakfast. I’ll be sure to order ham. I’ll get some some pre-packaged hardboiled eggs from the 7-11.

There may not be a thing in there I don’t already know but this is gonna be good stuff.

Drinks for my friends.

They just refuse to release this limb of racism they’ve finally managed to sink their rotting canines into. The gaping, stinking maw of a vociferous and audacious media.

Here it is. Full frontal racism. They couldn’t wait to give us what they want. They warmed us up with Geraldine and Samantha Powers and Farrakhan. So now, with intrepid glee and gore, they serve it up. It’s disgusting.

I tend to favor CNN, at least over other mainstream news sources, and Anderson Cooper in particular. I imbibe because as a news network, it seems to attempt to not exclude the middle. After watching tonight however, I doubt I’d pass on an opportunity to deposit crap in Mr. Coopers mouth, if only to remind him that shit does come out of it on occassion.

This is so fucked up. I can find a racist friend or uncle in every white person’s circle despite the size of their hearts. I know them. I’ve spent time with them. They have broken bread with us. With my family. It’s no less ugly because they are loved and otherwise good people. Often they are an unfortunate product of indoctrination. My point is, you’re a goddamn fool if you think such disfigured dogma is exclusive to any race or skin pigmentation.

Allow this point; who among us cannot forgive any black man or woman, they having been on the recieving end of evil for centuries, to embrace a similiar set of beliefs and convictions? Victimisation to one degree or another is part of the culture. They didn’t make it that way. There is tons of horrifying ugliness there. Lynchings, burnings and profound humiliation.

The cliche about walking in a man’s shoes definitely applies.

For the better part of modern history, it has sucked to be black. The Rev. Jeremiah Wright is older than most of us and I’m sure has had a far more brutal experience with events than most of us.

I said this in a previous blog on this subject:

“We all, regardless of race or gender, have our own issues with race and gender. I’m no fool. I believe the idea is to recognize them and endeavor to change them. Being accountable for your own sets of bias or prejudice should be the beginning of humility.”

How long will it be, what will it take, for us as Americans to rise above this archaic nonsense? I’m starting to wonder and it’s pissing me off.

You know what I think? I think church and organized religion is as stupid and at least as dangerous as racism. Yet, as an agnostic, I suffer these dipshits in every aspect of my life everygoddamnday. Still, I have genuine affection for a great many of them.

Of course, like the foolish Americans we are, we cannot reisist the comingling of religion and politics. Church and State. It is here that we tumble head first down the stairs. So many of us play along but then we all fall down. It’s always embarrassing.

Issues kids. Stick to the issues. Hint. These are not issues. Work with me here. Issues are about policy and ethics, all the rest is an attempt to moralize and that’s not where this campaign belongs and neither do we.

Don’t get distracted by this shiny shallow thing.

Drinks for my friends.

60 Minutes has been the best show on network television for a lot longer than I can remember.

My least favorite crew member has always been Scott Pelley. Ever since he clumsily hammered Ahmadinejad when he visited last year, my disdain for him has swollen. He lacks suspension of disbelief. Seems like a dipshit sometimes.

I like that Anderson Cooper has joined. I’m thinking he should be Crew Chief of The Month. Brass rectangle added to the plaque and all.

I miss Ed Bradley. He was the coolest.

I realize that Pelley was probably put up to it by some CBS swine executive for mere schadenfreude. I still loathe him for it. It was dishonest on a global level.

Anyway, Prick JR. parked one tonight with his interview of George Piro. Mr. Piro was our government’s lead interrogator of Saddam Hussein. Absolutely compelling and fascinating. Enough for me to realize I was mouth breathing. What a coup for The Columbia Broadcasting System.

It was excellent TV; that’s all I’m saying.

Now. As you now know, Mr Obama prevailed spectacularly in South Carolina last night. My skirt is lifted by this gust of change.

I said early on that a black man with a last name that rhymes with Osama and a middle name that is Hussein, has virtually no chance of being President of The United States of America. I said that because I believed America to be sicker than she was.

I’m happy to be wrong. Very happy to be wrong.

There is a very tangible possibility that America will soon have it’s first Black President. I’m excited about this because it may just mean that American heads and hearts aren’t where I thought they were. Could it be these dark days were catalyst enough for some general epiphany?

Could this just be the right man for the right time?

I am happy to be wrong.

Let me just say this. We know know that MLK wasn’t perfect and JFK was barely able to maintain orbit. Then there’s Big Bad Bill. Bill was not your run of the mill house afire. I don’t give a mad fuck about that kinda shit.

I am concerned about Barack’s potential for efficacy. I’m not concerned about Hillary’s. She’ll get shit done. I worry about just how and where and what, however.

I digress. I am pleased and excited. Good stuff going on in America and I’m confident it’s indicative of an improving state of mind and over all better mental health.

Every effort has been made to slam our minds shut for the better part of eight years and a great many succumbed. Despite all that, we seem to be waking. Minds seem to be opening.

This man Obama can certainly be the wind to blow piss back into the faces of the complacent, apathetic and ignorant. The greedy and the powerful.

Make no mistake, if America elects this man, the entire world will exhale and relax a little. They will. That’s what I’m talking about.

I can’t know how well he would govern us. But he is smart, wise and confident. I am impressed. He is as real as they get on a stage so elevated.

For what it’s worth, George W. Bush is real too, he’s just really stupid.

Drinks for my friends.

I wasn’t impressed.

Dick-in-Bush are nothing if not adroit with the smoke
and the mirrors. Adept with the dogs and the ponies.
If it didn’t smell so damn familiar, if it didn’t give
me the creeps, if I was new, I might just swallow it.

Today General Mars Petraeus spoke, and he was full of
shit.

I’m not interested in writing a term paper here;
suffice it to say that we are further away from any
lasting solution than we were when Petraeus entered
stage right.

The potential for peril continues to swell as
Iran breathes power into the vacuum. It is an unmitigated
mess. A sigh between today and abject
failure.

The only thing mitigated is a chance for a
solution and that is by our own hand. Now we shake
fingers and rattle swords at Iran.

No wonder that the rest of the world
fears our foolishness.

I was impressed with CNN.

From Christiane Amanpour’s piece on religion and
conflict to this very evening, where I see Anderson
Cooper call into question the copious glut of charts
and statistics proffered by Mars Petraeus in front of
congress today.

Bravo.

Cooper and CNN are savvy enough to realize that
bouncing atop a wave of ever increasing Americans who
are beginning to see that they’ve been fed shit for
over six years is a wise play indeed. They are
saying, it seems, that we’ve been lied to so far, so
how do we know we aren’t being lied to now?

In other words. There seems to be an enormous war fat,
lipstick slathered swine of an emperor without any
clothes, parading gracelessly in our streets and on
our televisions.

Dumbya is not just sinking in the polls, he’s starting
to disgust us. Beware the tipping point that has us hating
ourselves. She’ll be coming ’round the mountain when
she comes.

Don’t go thinking these guys are done. They have fifteen months. It will get worse.

Read my lips. Mark my words.

You ain’t seen nothing yet.

Drinks for my friends.

I sat down with the idea of taking my turn beating the
crap out of our thoroughly disgraced and shamefully
pompous attorney general. He was embarrassing. It
was aggravating to watch. What a complete dickhead.

What I’m about to say may shock you.

So what?

Without a doubt, this guy is a fucking clown. He’ll
lose his job, be publicly disgraced and fade into the
ether. After a time he’ll land some six or seven
figure gig and none if it will matter, at least not
to him.

Today at least, I feel I have bigger fish to fry.

So, I was gathering steam, CNN was on in the
background, sound very low, as is my wont. A story
appeared that has been tugging at my rage for a few
days and I just couldn’t let it go any longer. It’s
an issue that is very close to my heart. The story
was about one Michael Vick and the “sport” of dog
fighting.

I could not stand to watch even fifteen seconds.

I’ve always regarded the idea that what separates
humans from animals is the ability to reason, as a
rather obtuse one. If that were true, my cat wouldn’t
consistently shit in the designated shit box, dogs
would spend all day looking for the food bowl and
gorillas wouldn’t gain remarkable proficiency in
things like sign language.

For a while, I held that the difference between us and
them is simply art. Creativity and an impetus or
inspiration for the aesthetic. Then some chimp
painted or something and I realized that my cat at the
the time had a sense of humor.

So much for that.

For some time now, I’ve owned that what indeed is the
distinction between human and animal, is innocence.
They have it in as pure and pristine a form as
exists. We do not. We are born with it, but by the
time we learn to walk, it has already begun to
atrophy.

Now, I don’t know if this guy is guilty or not, but it
sure looks like it. It occurred on his property,
under the guise of a business he owned, a kennel run
by both he and his relatives.

I don’t know that he did it. I didn’t even know who
he was until the story broke last week. I’m willing
to wait to find out.

If convicted, he faces as much as six years in prison,
a loss of some twenty five million dollars in annual
income and public humiliation.

Ha, motherfucker. Not nearly enough. Not even close. If this man
is guilty, there is no ring of hell appropriate for
such a human piece of shit.

I would suggest he deserves far more than to taste his own
blood. If his guilt is proven, I would recommend a
beat down with crowbars, baseball bats and claw
hammers until near death. Then, let him heal. Once he’s
ambulatory, repeat. And repeat. Over, and over, and
over again. I’d be happy to participate.

I am not fucking kidding.

You see, humans at least have the capacity to
understand what’s happening to them in any given
shitstorm. All animals know is pain and fear and they
don’t know why.

A similiar story comes on Anderson Cooper 360 as I
write this. I cannot watch it. I change the channel.

How could any human participate in such a barbaric and
elaborately premeditated undertaking? It would have
to be a being in possession of an entirely dark soul.
One utterly lacking compassion and decency. One
abundant in cruelty and viciousness. Depraved.
Stinking and rotting.

Domesticated animals, if provided with the merest
modicum of care and affection respond with
unconditional love.

This man if guilty, is culpable of more than violent
vivisection, he is responsible for robbing potentially
loving animals of their innocence and therefore, their
souls.

If he’s guilty, then fuck this piece of shit. No fate
is bad enough. A stain on humankind.

I would gleefully dance on a man’s head and sing, were that man just stupid enough to abuse an animal in front of me.

Try me.

Drinks for my friends.

Um, the debates are on.

Edwards is talking the populist talk. I admit it’s
sweet to my ears. I never disliked this guy and I
don’t give a mad fuck about how rich he is.
Presidents are rich. They always have been.

Kucinich burns bright too. Conviction and by far the
best voting record on the stage. I really like the
little paste eater-vegan, with the well over six foot
bride half his age, bright red hair and a tongue
ring.

My chances of dinner in the White House probably at
least double if the first lady has a pierced tongue.

He’s not stupid, he knows that the most important
thing is not to end up a fart in a whirlwind. And
he’s comported himself with dignity and aplomb. When
they let him talk, he let’s fly with the most progressive, courageous AND logical assessments of any of the candidates.

The man is the shit.

Obama and Clinton run with ease out front. Smooth and
composed; not even breathing hard yet. They’re both
happy to be who they are and what they are. A woman
and a black man running number one and two in a race
with a still distant finish.

Biden’s sharp and he has nice teeth. Sincere and
compassionate on Darfur, eminently qualified in matters of foreign policy and military logistics. Bright guy but he has a big mouth. He still has the most logical political policy ideas for Iraq.

None of them really suck.

Kucinich just answered in favor of reparations for
African Americans. Good for him.

Bullshit though.

You can’t throw money at a problem like this so recklessly. Make it better.

Cardinal Mahoney just did that here in LA. He gave over 650 people over a million dollars each because most of them took it in
the ass or in the mouth as children from figures they
were compelled to respect no matter what.

This guy Mahoney fucking sucks.

If Mahoney had a spine he would have devoted his
energy to fixing the fucking problem instead of
scrambling for a decade to obfuscate and cover.

Ladies and gentlemen, a human turd. A massive, sticky bloody stain
on catholicism, christianity and organized religion.

Forgive me, I digress.

So, the solution to racism and inequality in this
country is not money thrown in front of a fan. It is about
spending more than would end up in each individual’s
pocket on policies and programs.

It sounds liberal and utopian, I know. But I’m talking about the difference between feeding a man once or teaching him to fish.

At the end of the day, reparations are a band-aid.
Look at how effective cold cash was for The Native
Americans.

Nope. Fix it. Get brave. Implement.

Anyway:

Dodd is sharp. He does well on Katrina.

Richardson fumbles it a little. Yet he’s sincere.

Clinton, Edwards and Obama spend a lot of time pussy
stepping around each other.

By the way, this format is genius. Excellent
questions. It makes me very curious about what sort
of blunderbuss the repuglicans will be stepping in front of.

Most of them would have tripped on their dicks by now.
See, they’re stupid and dogmatic. It’s a weakness.

Sorry, had to throw that in.

Edwards did well with a query about the affect his
faith would have on policy. This guy is very good.

Cooper fires a nice one about the difference between
civil rights and the rights of gays.

Obama rocks it pretty good when he posits leaving the religious
question up to individual denominations but insisits,
all states adopt parity in laws dealing with with
civil rights, marriage and sexual orientation.

For what it’s worth, I have long maintained that the issue of gay rights is very simply an issue of civil rights.

ON IRAQ:

Biden strives to be realistic. I admire that. He does know this shit.

Hillary is once again, sleek. She talks about trying
to win repuglicant support since the election. She
does well in acknowledging that there is no military
solution. She drops the ball when she reaches out to
the flat earthers though.

Methinks it’s time to run them the fuck over. Public
will is on your side. What are you waiting for?
Understand, we are waiting on you.

If republicans had a gallon of juice left, it would all be over except the shouting. All the people on the stage would do well to own that fact.

So, Kucinich swings hard and connects. His answer is
don’t give them anymore goddamn money. He is right.

HE is RIGHT. This mouse roars.

Horsepower to torque to pavement.

Work with me here.

I must admit, I like these guys (including Hillary). They all appear to be more or less genuine, at least in the context of the contemporary politician.

They’re kicking the shit out of the repugnicants in fund raising and that’s a good sign.

Yet, it’s also quite ominous. Particularly in the the instances of Hillary and Obama, it tells us that behind the curtain, they are both fervently engaged in a 69 with big pharma and big oil. It’s that sort of symbiotic relationship with the dark side that leads to – meet the new boss, same as the old boss.

It wasn’t that long ago that Hills had her ass handed to her over an admittedly far too convoluted national health care plan by one of those very beasts.

She cannot hope to craft and implement a fair and efficacious universal health care policy if she’s remains that carnally connected. Same goes for Obama.

The Kennedy’s tried that shit and ended up dead.

There may be a light at the end of this long dark tunnel, but I worry about the size of the opening.

We may just be lucky enough to end up with the lesser of two evils in our legislative and executive branches. I hope we don’t screw this pooch.

Even if we don’t, it’s like getting a record deal; that’s when the real work begins. If we end up with a Democratic President, the odds still wouldn’t favor us.

Vigilance won’t be obsolete anytime soon.

Drinks for my friends.

I just now remembered that one day, five or seven
years ago, a friend unknowingly demonstrated that had no idea how to pet a cat. He patted and stroked The Gurry awkwardly, without any
rythm. This, despite the fact that he had two of his own. It
was obvious that the pleasure of the cat was not even
in the periphery of the moment for him.

For reasons unrelated, I now think of this guy as a complete douchebag.

I’ve never been able to write a damn thing in
longhand. The tempo is all wrong. I must have a
keyboard. Plus, I loathe the physical act of writing.
Filling out a check or the return address on an
envelope represents a major pain in the ass to me.
I hate deposit slips.

As a kid I was fascinated by the maginfying effect of
water. I kept all manner of things submerged in
glasses and jars full of water. Rocks, marbles,
cereal box toys, coins……………

I can actually see sounds. What a cool thing it is to
have made records and then listen to them.
“Swallowing colrs of the sounds I hear” -Ozzy

I used to think most people weren’t stupid, they just
failed to pay attention. Now I’m not so sure. I
catch myself not paying attention and I’m not stupid.

The difference between Rosie and Paris is that Rosie
stands for something. It matters not how foolish or wise.
Paris is held aloft by our collective gasp, whether it
be in disgust, dismay or disbelief.

Dick Cheney is the most evil motherfucker to ever SERVE AT THE PLEASURE OF THE AMERICAN PEOPLE. This is because he has never given a mad fuck about a single one of us. I fucking hate him and his little dog Dumbya too.

Sorry. Yay team.

Lewis Black on Stewart just said that a fake news show on Fox should show real news. I love this guy. I love that Stewart won’t let the latest Cheney hubris go. Way to go my little Jack Russel Terrier.

Coors Light has labels that turn white mountains blue when the bottle reaches an acceptable temperature for consumption. Genius.

CNN 360 with Andy C has been rockin the enviromental tip of late. Good for them. Andy himself endeavors to be remembered for never having spake the name of America’s favorite heiress. You gotta love that.

By the way, the last five or seven blogs I’ve posted have all included records I produced, recorded and or mixed in the ‘tell us what you’re listening to’ section. I used to be cool.

My shrink and I have had numerous protracted conversations about social networking via the internet and my level of participation in said. She’s careful to focus on the role it plays in my overall social sphere and she never strays into the pejorative.

It’s days like today that provide the most petite of ephinanies. I understand her emphasis, now that I cannot send or recieve messages on myspace and I want to kill harmless birds with a fork.

I honestly feel a low frequency shittiness right now.

Myspace is a pretty vital communication conduit for me. I interact with a lot of people every day on it. I’ve made good friends, rediscovered old ones and even found hot women to make out with and buy dinner for. I’m somewhere over twenty two thousand hits on my blogs.

It’s like I bit my tongue or pissed myself. It won’t go away.

And oh my, it is indeed darkest before the dawn. The lord taketh away and he giveth. The storm was violent and it did so raineth and bloweth on the land, as to have us believe our demise was imminent. Yet at the last possible moment, when my streets were awash and my infants in danger of being swept away, the clouds did part and the sun did more than showeth.

Seems like my goddamn mail is finally working again.

Takes pistol out of mouth and places it on table pointing away.

Drinks for my friends.