Archive for the ‘Bootlicker’ Category

Oh fuck.

Bloodiest month in Iraq since September of last year. It’s Iran’s fault, they tell us. It’s not that the surge is no longer working, they assure us.

It’s that it never did, I assure you.

Stupid idea. Too little. Too late.

A band aid applied with the hope it would staunch the wound long enough for Dick-in-Bush to make a getaway. It was a matter of time until the dam breached itself by an artery that just wasn’t able to contain the pressure of all that blood.

They don’t have another one.

In what may be the cruelest and simultaneously most hysterical whirling dervish of irony I’ve ever witnessed, our nation has an immediate and affordable solution to the shattered back of our fighting force. The numbers are somewhere between twelve and twenty million. It’ll be a little less logistically efficacious if we decide to build that stupid border fence, but still doable.

Just think, we could all sleep a little easier knowing that we’re finally justified in paying them a fair wage as well as covering their medical needs etc.

See, they’d be dying for us while we sleep and have barbecues on Sunday. Well, not us, but the military industrial complex.

Draft the illegals!

I feel comfortable playing the race card.

Not really.

In other news, our Little Bootlicker pissed all over a bill that sought to mandate equal pay for women because he feared the lawsuits that would emerge. Um, isn’t that the point asshole?

Don’t forget, Doubtfire is on record as in favor of permanent tax cuts to the wealthy while we are facing perhaps the worst economic disaster since the Great Depression. Rice is being rationed in America for fuck’s sake. He’s cool with us staying in Iraq for a hundred years and it explains it with the example of our presence in Germany or South Korea.

Anybody remember any American soldiers dying in either of those two countries in combat in say, the last three decades?

Both Shrillary and McCain are in favor of a moratorium on federal gas tax for the summer. Great idea. Profound and inspired despite it’s being another goddamn blatant and pandering populist band aid to demonstrate how they feel our pain.

Never mind the jobs and money lost to our highway and bridge repair infrastructure, it won’t save you shit.

Check the crab in a bucket metaphor from the last blog.

Another suggestion along the same lines would be a mandate that all children, everywhere walk to school. Not even parents can drive them. They must get there under their own power. Can you imagine the money that could be saved?

We should go back to making everything out of wood. Soft drink containers and dashboards and polyester pants for fat people as well as the the stylistically challenged. Lenses and guns and amplifiers. Imagine a wooden computer.

You could safely use Pledge on it.

Why, it’s a renewable resource.

In America, the lights are on, but nobody’s home.

How did we become the stupidest and richest country on earth?

Wait. I know

Lust and greed?

Beer?

Gin!

Tonight on CNN, Michelle Obama said of the Wright controversy, she was finished talking about it. as is her husband, and that the issue would only die when the media diegns to acquiesce. I shouldn’t be allowed to say it after that last sentence but. WORD.

Every once in awhile I wonder if we all aren’t just stupid enough to not realize we are pell mell towards either the sun melting us, or a demise of our own.

Like the sun melting us.

I can see the world on my plasma TV. I communicate with all of you via a MAC. I have hand held devices that I can talk to the world with or control the signals beamed at me from a satellite in orbit.

I don’t see much progress. So far, no big picture shared by a majority of our species. It’s still neanderthal. Set huge fires. Everyman for himself. Get yourself a woman. Bacon is good.

Drinks for my friends.

I can barely bring myself to talk about it. I was both entertained and informed by the local CBS 2 news at eleven. I regret that I can’t exactly remember why.

I’m not yet prepared to say people in their forties shouldn’t smoke pot.

Laura Diaz still inspires lust but the whole team seems more vacuous than ever. Insipid. Ridiculous. She’s too skinny for me anyway.

Pennsylvania goes on the block tomorrow. Could be heaviosity.

I’m a little excited.

Wait.

Can I be anticipatory?

Laura Diaz is banging Jimmy the sports guy. I can tell by the way she introduces his segment. Pretty cozy. She calls him Jimmy.

Jim Hill is almost bad enough to be as good as Fernell Chapman or the late Hal Fishman.

Guess the Lakers are doing well and Kobe is happy. Thank Sheezus and Jimmy.

I hear Dumbya was on Deal Or No Deal. I watched that show once, for forty eight seconds.

I hear the Pope was here.

Pennsylvania goes on the block tomorrow.

Could be the big one. Be all to end all.

Were our man Obama able to keep within say, five or six points, most pundits would see him as victorious. You already knew that.

The official Brainspank forecast is for our man to do at least that well.

People are tired. The ones that aren’t actually stupid are tired of being called that and are actually paying attention. For what’s it’s worth, he didn’t call them stupid. He called them pissed off with good reason, and he was right.

Nearly the entire mainstream media labeled deliberate nuance a watercolor rendered by fingers. Fools. Looks like the people got it.

He is smarter, more inspired and far less beholding than the other two.

I imagine there were swaths of our history where a combination of such virtues may not have matched so perfectly with what is so desperately needed as of yesterday.

No free lunch. He will inevitably disappoint us. No human could avoid that. But, he is our best bet. Young, full of piss, vinegar and what I hope is a sincere and realistic helping of idealism.

I’m completely willing to cast my vote for this man and his wife. I imagine that will be your choice come November Pennsylvania, work with me here.

It is REALLY important you don’t screw this up.

Make America proud, you backward ass country fucks.

Drinks for my friends.

“So it’s not surprising then that they get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren’t like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations,” he concluded.

Of course their bitter, I am.

Perhaps the only thing wrong with that sentiment is it’s being of maybe too broad a generalization. It is however, true in at least some contexts. Shrillary endeavors to use the remarks as an adhesive to affix a label of elitist to our man Obama.

Forgive me here, but that’s fucking absurd. Abandonded by his father at two years old, a mother who died young and eventually being raised by grandparents; in so many ways, Barack Obama is the epitome of the American ideal of a self made man. Whereas Shrillary and her husband sit atop a pile of filthy lucre so vast it would feed and clothe a third world country. Nothing wrong with that pile save for the component of hypocrisy Shrillary insists on injecting.

This is non-news on a slow news day as far as I’m concerned. I’m an agnostic and therefore not of a mind to give a shit about any of it. It’s transparently disingenuous. Silly season.

We can do better than this. The Little Bootlicker should be drawing this kind of fire for sponsoring the idea that those very people die for one more day, much less a hundred more years, in a pointless war based on lies and for aspiring to keep tax cuts to the rich permanent. If Shrillary is looking for an elitist, she need look no further than John McCain. Silly season indeed.

In light of that, this kind of rhetoric is destructive, irresponsible and smacks of desperation. It is more than likely that Obama will secure the nomination and Shrillary has just handed Doubtfire a box of bullets with our man’s name on them as well as emptying his piss bag for him. Way to go Hills. You continue to disgust.

Meanwhile, back at the conflagration, gas is four bucks a gallon, eighty thousand jobs lost last month, people are losing their homes right and left, a seven hundred thirty six million dollar “embassy” the size of the fucking Vatican opens in Iraq next month while our troops suffer more casualties and deaths last week than any other so far this year. How’s that “surge” working you pricks?

You’ve got be fucking kidding me.

Drinks for my friends.

So, The Joint Chiefs chairman tells us today we’re fresh out of cannon fodder.

Admiral Mike Mullen admitted today that although additional US troops are needed in Afghanistan, we’re tapped. We have no more personnel.

The military said, nope.

In saying such a simple thing, Mr Mullen acknowledges what we’ve all known for some time. The back of our great American Army is broken. We are left without the ability to defend ourselves. Our men and women are bogged down and tied up in the stupidest and most disgustingly reasonless war America has ever engaged in.

Looking for something to be afraid of? There it is.

Did you know there’s a movement in San Francisco to rename a sewage treatment plant after Dumbya?

We are unable to prosecute, for all intents and purposes, what has always been the more important of the two fronts on “terror”.

Well, one didn’t matter at all and the other did kinda. It matters more now.

“There are force requirements there [in Afghanistan] that we can’t currently meet,” Adm. Mike Mullen said. “Having forces in Iraq at the level they’re at doesn’t allow us to fill the need that we have in Afghanistan.” -CNN

Meanwhile back at the ranch, Fire and death were lobbed into the Green Zone. Basra and Baghdad burn and die again. Turns out, we barely have the resources to take on al-Sadr’s Mahdi army. He was merely testing us.

We tell everyone it’s Iran’s fault

The future’s so bright, I gotta wear a welding helmet. And a hazmat suit.

This thing ain’t going nowhere but worse.

The economy. Duh.

We need a leader.

It’s amazing that our Little Bootlicker, McCain is a contender. I think he should have to reveal whether or not he’s in diapers well before the general in November. I wonder if he’s wearing a bag.

I don’t know what to make of this man. I used to like him. It’s been a while. He runs down the middle and literally alienates both sides while still polling well.

I guess the middle is big too. I’d hoped they weren’t that dumb.

With any luck we can collectively understand that old rich white men in charge is a bad idea, particularly if they have too much faith. Doubtfire doesn’t seemed to be consumed with Santa, but he’s wrong on all the issues.

I have but two questions, maybe three for Mrs. Doubtfire:

#1. How exactly are you going to win this war on a broken economy AND a broken military?

#2. What on earth made you run for President, what is your answer to number one?

#3. Are you serious about maintaining these tax cuts while staring at this black maw of an economic vortex?

#4. Do you understand these things at all?

He’s lucky to be getting a running start.

I know what it’s like when you’re trying to think but nothing happens.

He does too. Way better than me.

Look, the Republicans are used to various monkeys. Reagan was a bit of an orangutang. Bush Sr. was some skinny big eared sharp chinned simian. Dumbya is a retarded chimp. Doubtfire is a goddamn reptile. They confuse him while he confuses them.

James Dobson loathes The Bootlicker and that cracks me up. This guy reaches over two hundred million a day in a hundred and sixty countries by radio alone. Focus On The Family. Yes, that megalomaniacal douchebag. It’s these bastards that I really loathe. They highjack common sense with self righteous morality and an archaic set of standards that they barely pretend to live up to.

Before they’re done they take it upon themselves to press the flesh of their hypocrisy on as many as they can find and it means nothing to them that their beliefs have no place in politics, particularly if they are to remain sacred. Those beliefs aren’t sacred, they are for sale.

Anyway. Forgive me. It’s just that despite how much this matters, it’s still really stupid.

Try really hard not to be stupid.

Drinks for my friends.

I want to talk about politics.

There’s not fuck all to say. Same as it’s been for a week. For the first time in a long time, I’m not engrossed, pissed or excited.

The Reverend Wright conflagration seems to finally be on the wane. For this I’m grateful because he merely spoke the truth, as unpalatable as it was for those who are fond of plunging their heads into the sand.

I loathed the entire spectacle because he not only spoke from a justifiably angry heart, Senator Obama refused to disown him out of loyalty and integrity. There was a certain beauty and honesty to the story that America missed because the media didn’t foist it on a steaming platter.

They chose the opposite. The simpler of the two. I’m pretty sure they did that because they think we’re all stupid. I’m not surrounded by brain surgeons and physicists, are you?

He did the right thing.

Dominating the over twenty four hour news cycle this last week is whether Shrillary should walk away or not. No mad fuck opinion here. Once the primary process plays out, given the writing is on the wall, I would take exception if she doesn’t act responsibly. Otherwise, I’ve no real dog in this hunt and neither should you.

It’s very unlikely that Superdelegates will even attempt to subvert the will of the people. In the context of a gigantically criminal, incredibly specific and therefore surgically effective disenfranchisement that’s gone on for eight years, particularly unto Democrats, I’m assuming we all agree that would be really fucking stupid.

The reason I’m not running for President is I would have invited that bitch to take a walk. With her husband. You two are a serious braintrust; do the math. Not gonna happen unless maybe Billary has an an early October suprise.

There’s still a lot of us that are at least scared enough to forget to hope.

Don’t forget how crazy it is. A powerful and ominous cleric in Iraq with his own army, gets a bug up his ass and chaos occurs with a finger snap. We really have that shit under control.

I’m get some solace from the idea that Muqtada al-Sadr is making our Little Bootlicker McCain look like a doddering chimp.

Did you see the clip of Lieberman schooling Doubtfire?

I loathe Lieberman.

Doubtfire has hitched his little red tricycle to this ridiculous turned pathetic war and “The Surge”. Oh, and permanent tax cuts for the wealthy and “overhauling” social security. How much you wanna bet he’s already got presenile dementia?

The economy is swirling down the shitter. Tricycles don’t float.

Biggest, best, boldest thing we can do for the economy is end the war and start investing in infrastructure. See, that can be steady enduring jobs, education, more money in the community and less for the plutocracy, the corporate monoliths. The evil pricks.

It’s not just freeways and potholes. I’m imagining government sponorship of R&D and technology for green and environmentally responsible industries. Like it or not, that is our future. Or we’re all dead.

Here comes Al Gore. He’s not interested in politics. He’s gonna Guru. I say let him.

This is what it is. If you ask one hundred Americans who their ultimate President would be, probably twenty or thirty would have different, unique answers. This whole thing will ultimately be decided by one or two, maybe five, in a hundred.

See what I’m saying? Keep your eyes on the ball.

Drinks for my friends.

Our man Obama’s been getting the shit kicked out of him this week. It’s been anything but pretty. Anything but fair.

Finally, CNN takes it upon itself to provide a more thorough context to the sermons by Reverend Wright they’ve bludgeoned us with all week ’til we’re torsos with tubes sticking out the tops of our necks. Turns out, he makes a little more sense than we’ve been allowed to glimpse thus far. Big suprise.

If you think injustice doesn’t exist in this country you’re an idiot and probably a racist. Just reminding you to think about a walk in his shoes.

But you already knew that.

You’re aware, if you read me regularly, that I’ve no patience for this kind of crap. I vehemntly object to events of this nature being injected into my politics. Not by a long shot do the least of my reasons include the conviction that religion has no place in a any political contest under any circumstances ever. I’m more than confident that any of the candidates are vulnerable and easily impugned based on something as inconsequential as who their goddamn pastor is and what he or she has to say.

In the instance of McCain, our little bootlicker, can you say John Hagee? If Hagee isn’t an evangelical whack job, I’ve never even smelled one. I know I have, because they stink like rotting flesh. This guy Hagee is a human shitsmear.

Hot on the heels of that, is race. The eight hundred pound gorilla that our obsequious and recalcitrant mainstream media refuses to stop reaching for the backs of our necks in order to get us to stare at. Once again, an issue that deserves no purchase whatsoever in this contest.

Doubtfire even considered an invitation to speak at Bob Jones University and endorsed a white supremacist running for Lt. Governor of Alabama, George Wallace Jr. in ’05.

See what I’m saying?

Today, Bill Richardson, Governor of New Mexico, former Presidential candidate and Clinton machine consort as well as Democratic super delegate, endorsed our man Obama.

He said:
“Senator Barack Obama addressed the issue of race with the eloquence and sincerity and decency and optimism we have come to expect of him,” he said. “He did not seek to evade tough issues or to soothe us with comforting half-truths. Rather, he inspired us by reminding us of the awesome potential residing in our own responsibility.” -NYT

“The reaction of some of Bill Clinton’s allies suggests that might have been a wise decision. “An act of betrayal,” said James Carville, an adviser to Hillary Clinton.” -Austin Statesman

Whatever the eventual fallout, Mr. Richardson has effectively locked the door behind him on the idea of running with Hills. I’m gonna go ahead and look at that as brave and wise. He knew he was on the short list for assistant manager.

There is a chance that the fever has broken.

Forgive me, but I’m here to urge you once again to move on from this collision of toddlers on tricycles. There’s really nothing to see. Don’t mistake the ruptured ketchup pillows for blood. It’s the twenty first century, they all wear helmets.

Move along.

Drinks for my friends.

Condoleezza Rice is a Vulcan!

This has nothing to do with the following.

Merely my most recent epiphany. Think she could mind meld with The Horta or do the grip?

Wanna know what I like most about this week so far?

Not much really, it’s been shit, except:

Well, it’s our little Bootlicker. First he fires a missile at Barack about the existence of Al Qaeda in Iraq. Our man swats it down with a yawn, a wink and a grin by pointing out that they certainly had no presence there before we wrongfully invaded.

Duh! Lunch is on us this week. If McCain thinks he’s gonna come out on top on the issue of Iraq with around seventy percent of Americans wanting us the hell out of there………well, I’d like to have his number because I think I’ve got a rusty Ford Pinto he may want to buy.

See, the comedy/irony of it all, is that He intends to do just that.

Buy the rusty Ford Pinto.

He’s running on the war! The Surge! Evil! Brown people!

He’s gonna lose because of that and the economy. He wants to keep those cuts to the wealthy permanent. Sheezus.

This very bitter pill, Doubtfire will wrangle down his gullet with those oversized jowls he’s been developing in anger since high school wrestling. Against Obama, some teeth will likely be the chaser. Poor bastard.

But then, Doubtfire swung hard on Bill Cunningham for ugly and overt histrionics. For mocking and ridiculing our man for the unfortunate coincidence of having the middle name “Hussein”.

McCain said, “My entire campaign I have treated Sen. Obama and Sen. Clinton with respect,” McCain said. “I will continue to do that throughout this campaign.” -Cincinnati Business Courier

Asked whether the use of Obama’s middle name — the same as former Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein — is proper, McCain said: “No, it is not. Any comment that is disparaging of either Senator Clinton or Senator Obama is totally inappropriate.” -Crooks and Liars.

Fuck this guy. If the Bootlicker needs him to win, then the bootlicker is fine with losing. Pretty cool. I like that Doubtfire has no patience with the intolerant. He denounced Robertson and Falwell you know. He called them “agents of intolerance”.

This guy Bill Cunningham, is the epitome of what’s wrong with “broadcast journalism”. He is, one word, a completefuckingidiot. Another word, anachronism. To suggest that Obama’s middle name is somehow even relevant to this Presidential contest and the future of our country, is the worst kind of backward ass, ignorant motherfucking racist and despicable shit I’ve ever seen. Who is this piece of shit? He speaks with the same whack-job vacuous eyes of Zell “spitball” Miller.

Worse than Limbaugh, and don’t you know his big hypocritical ass piled on.

I mean really. You have got to be fucking kidding me.

Kudos and points for the Bootlicker. Incidentally, the reason I’ve given, nay bestowed, the moniker of Bootlicker upon him is his embarrassing and shameless embrace of Dumbya after being mercilessly smeared by Dick-in-Bush and Rove et. al. in two thousand. It was disgraceful. Painful to witness. A maverick indeed.

Well, whatever, he did the right thing the other day and it will cost him. For that, he should be commended. I may go back to calling him sparkplug or maybe even fire hydrant.

Of course, it will further marginalize the neoconservative blowhards on the radio. I wonder if the posse of old white “broadcast journalists” factored that in. For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Toss bags.

Drinks for my friends.

So we learn today that the New York Times will publish a story tomorrow detailing alleged improprieties between Doubtfire and a lobbyist named Vicki Iseman.

I really don’t give a mad fuck whether McCain got his stinger wet or not. I didn’t care whether or not Big Bad Bill did either. It’s just not my business. It’s a serious matter, but a matter between the men in question and their families. It is just not our business. Peroid.

Get the fuck over it. If you care, you’re a loser. This message brought to you by my Council For Common sense and my Life Is Too Short……….See what I’m Saying? Coalition.

If, on the other hand favors were granted, special consideration extended, Minden/Gardenerville, we have a problem. As much as I make fun of the Little Bootlicker and doubt that his stinger has even approached tumescence in at least a decade, I have always believed him to possess a modicum of integrity. I would be happy to know these allegations are false.

Is he friends with Bob Dole?

I’m of the opinion that Doubtfire is essentially a good but profoundly misguided man. Somewhat of a dipshit. Yet still, a man with the courage of his convictions, as ridiculously stupid as they may be. I would be loathe to see this as a defining moment. To have it somehow be the pivot in the most important election in American history. It would inevitably soil the process and somewhat spoil it for me.

Although it says very little, he is the best they’ve got and I’d like to see a fair fight.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Hills has lost her mojo. She is looking more and more like a real estate agent, one I’d be happy to have, as she is an ass kicker. Less and less Presidential. Hard to watch.

They debate tomorrow night. I’ll be there. She’ll be stumbling out to a ninth round and it will be interesting to see what she brings.

She’s short, Obama likes to punch down.

By the way, we’ve proven we can blow a satellite out of orbit. It was doing seventeen thousand miles an hour while the Navy rocket was doing like five thousand. Ten second window.

I could do it. If I could practice on less important satellites for a few years.

Then I learn China has already pulled this off.

Drinks for my friends.

Hills has been bracing for heavy weather all day. Well, much longer than that.

Barack Obama.

The Clinton machine fully expected to be holding it’s ass in front of itself by sunset here in the West today.

I know, huh?

What?

The boat of Billary is taking on water.

It’s a big ass boat, she’s begun to toss a few over the rail. Patti Solis Doyle, campaign manager, will be replaced by Mary Tyler Moore. I mean Maggie Williams.

No apologies; no shit, she’s black.

Is it a good idea to have a middle name in the Hillary Rodham Clinton campaign? Oh, and today we hear of the resignation of Deputy Campaign Manager Mike Henry. What of William Jefferson Clinton?

Make no mistake. This is a contemporary dynasty on the ropes. This really is history. Goddamn this is interesting. And compelling and portentous. I hope you people are watching. I hope you’re singing along.

It is nuts. I’m really worried reality TV fucktards will smell how cool this is and start tuning in and voting. Sheezus. With an abruptness so complete it will have it’s own violent sound, The Great Unwashed will stumble to the polls and chaos will be a way of life shortly thereafter and forever.

Sometimes I can’t believe the shit I talk.

Tonight, he’s simultaneously ice blue cool and incendiary. He’s commanding the votes of women, seniors, the youth, rural, suburban, metro and every income demographic. It is amazing. The audacity of hope indeed.

Momentum. Inertia.

Momentum: “force or speed of movement; impetus, as of a physical object or course of events”.

Inertia: “Physics The tendency of a body to resist acceleration; the tendency of a body at rest to remain at rest or of a body in straight line motion to stay in motion in a straight line unless acted on by an outside force.”

Outside force, apparently not factoring in.

He is a human hurricane. Category three and gaining strength.

His speech tonight is in Madison Wisconsin. I made the biggest record of my career in that charming town some twelve or thirteen years ago. I remember thinking how nice everyone was after spending a decade in LA. They were normal and helpful and friendly. I winced when my soon to be rockstar client was rude to almost everyone we came in contact with.

He speaks with grace, humility and power. He owns just exactly where he is.

“Cynicism is a sorry kind of wisdom”, he says. Excellent.

CNN cuts to Doubtfire and I am struck dumb by the contrast.

He says literally nothing, save for threatening that a Democrat will compromise your values, your wallet and your safety. Yawn. Never heard that one before.

The current Republican administration has with brutal and unflinching efficacy, with malice even, harpooned America’s pockets, her pride and the respect and strength she once enjoyed under the global proscenium.

War. War. War. I don’t dislike McCain. He’s had the shit kicked out of him in a way that we simply cannot begin to comprehend. It makes it all the more shameful on his part that he has actually suggested publicly our occupation in Iraq should last a century. For what fuckhead? Oil? If it’s not obsolete by then, the entire world, not to mention the human race, will be facing the end of days.

For a man who’s literally had the shit beaten from him, he is full to bursting with it.

He is right on one thing. It just happens to be a very important thing. Torture. Important, too bad that’s all he’s learned.

His positions and policies on every other vital issue are underthought, intellectually dishonest and bereft of the merest modicum of common sense. Permanent tax cuts for the rich, a war without end……………….

Yes, this man is a dipshit.

Doubtfire, the bootlicker stands not a chance.

The calculus is thus: A man who is in touch versus a man who is out of touch.

Do the math.

Peace.

Drinks for my friends.

So, Guy Smiley (Romney) tipped the fuck out the door the other day because he’s just smart enough to grasp the math.

Official brainspank.org endorsee Barack Obama, sails towards the setting sun on this unseasonably warm Southern California Saturday. With aplomb, he breezed through all four contests today. He then spoke in Virginia. This occasion, more time was afforded for policy and some specifics, yet still a performance budding and blooming with optimism.

What exactly does it say about where America’s head is at when this man is able to prevail by margins that range from decisive to ass kicking in states like Kansas, Washington, Louisiana and Nebraska while he falls short in California?

Perhaps we are witnessing the emergence of the neoliberal. Quite a few of them might be pissed off rednecks. A lot of them disenfranchised centrist Democrats. How many alienated moderate Republicans? This is intriguing stuff.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Huckabee is yanking McCain’s chain. Huckabee has a sense of humor. McCain does not. He has trouble scratching his own face.

I need a nickname for our man John. I’m open to suggestion if I don’t come up with one by the end of this blog.

Wait! How about Mrs. Doubtfire?

So, the thing about Huckabee is he showed up on Colbert and played air hockey with a puck shaped like Texas ’cause see, Mike think’s he’s gonna take Texas.

Whatever. Really.

Either way, Huckabee will continue to siphon the bible thumpers away from Doubtfire, our little Bootlicker. We see this as a good thing.

And sorry, McCain will be known as Doubtfire and/or the little Bootlicker. You can still comment with your suggestions.

Texas would be a blow to both Doubtfire and Dumbya. Or rather, the hierarchy. The machine that is the hand up the ass of our esteemed chief executive.

The batteries left in that machine are low on juice.

A once shiny machine.

Doubtfire the Bootlicker, sinks his fingers into a lot of pies but can’t get past his first knuckle in any of them. The pressure on him to bend will force him to fold. He will do just that, like a lawn chair, in the general election. Regardless of who he faces. Trust me.

Doubtfire is a Republican and an assload of Republicans hate the little Bootlicker.

Then, nobody’s talking about Dumbya. At all. He is effectively absent penis.

Absent ballsack.

Gonadless.

Where do you think they went? Not the gonads, the batteries.

In many ways, it’s pretty fucking sick. We are now more than ever, a plutocracy. We still subsidize oil companies with our tax dollars despite them being the richest companies in the history of mankind.

Those batteries are becoming Democrats. Those batteries, that money, are blowing kisses at Mrs. Doubtfire while sticking hands up skirts across the aisle with Democrats.

The damage is done. America has been bent over against it’s ignorant will and cornholed. Ass raped. Violated.

The damage is done.

The economy is a house of cards on a pudding foundation. No hiding from it and no excuses; the Republicans have delivered us here. We are hemorrhaging cash in a pointless and stupid war while our economy and infrastructure atrophy from sheer neglect and not near enough protein.

The distance between rich and poor owns more velocity than the melting of our icecaps.

This is the booby prize they offer McCain. The machine is finished. It has taken it’s prize. We are fucked and the machine has consolidated more power and money than God. The Machine that kicked Doubtfire in the teeth in the year two thousand finally offers up the rotting skin of a once ripe fruit and the Little Bootlicker can’t wait to possess it.

He’s a goddamn circus poodle and he’s the best they’ve got.

They don’t care. They possess what they coveted. The little Bootlicker eyes the brass ring but doesn’t understand that the position is for Chief Executive Janitor

You must be fucking kidding me.

Drinks for my friends.