Archive for the ‘Hannity’ Category

The need to communicate.  To write.  Despite not having anything immediate to say.

I’m here in Carson City because I imagined it to be a haven of sorts.  If not that, then friendly.  Sanctuary from exorbitant bills and ridiculous drama.  I was weary of the drama and the bills.  Mostly the bills.  Spent am I.  Pun intended.  It started off okay.  Business prospects were promising.  I had irons in the fire.  Sibling drama did rear it’s ugly head but I was honest and above it.  Restrained.  I chose distance in light of the wildest cards and it served me for a time.  I’m smart.

Dad fell from a ladder, broke six ribs and a shoulder, madness prevailed on every level.  Soon after, sibling rivalry exploded like Krakatoa.  I wake up checking to see if I still have an ass.  I realize now I’m in deep depression once again.  I would risk the reader’s patience at this point were I to detail how often and how hard life has been punching me straight in the mouth in the last year or so.

I’s okay, I roll with it and drink a lot.

A carnival of nonsense.  My sanctuary a mirage.  I do tap the occasional oasis and it is like paradise by the dashboard light.  I get refueled, nourished and a chance to wash my face and hands.  I wash my stinking crotch and put on clean socks, put on a little lotion.  Don’t always know where to find those islands, but I know if I sail long enough……   No sooner than this and I’m waiting for vulgar to ring the bell.  Ugly will revisit any day.  It’s true I’m feeling sorry for myself but you can’t know what’s visited me in the last year or so.

It’s been pretty fucked up.

I am weary.

I hate most people and most things.  Sometimes.

Outside the wind rages, but inside Swirly Girl the Cat snores like a drunken boxer, whistling and snorting.  It makes me smile.  Her face flinches and flickers in the throes of a dream.  I smile some more.  Her paws are curled inward.  Her nose tucked between them.  We’ll move to the bedroom and she’ll sleep beside my head all night.  I am her father.  She is my beloved problem child.  She frowns and objects a lot.  I just love on her as best I can.

I have to care about what happens next but it’s easier said than done.  People really suck.  You have no idea.

I’ll take politics and world events for five hundred Alex.  If you visit regularly it’s most likely the reason.

Item one:

Can you believe this fuckhead Stupak?  Smoking tobacco is no different than smoking lettuce leaves.  He didn’t say that but I don’t care.  No real surprise that he rents a room at C Street and his head is misshapen.  Can you say hydrocephalus?  This guy is a dick.  44,000 people a year dying due to lack of health care insurance and he wants to make the whole thing about Roe v. Wade?  What an asshole.  News flash, we’ve got it covered with the Hyde amendment.

No worries dickhead.

To stir this brand of shit in light of just how important this issue is, is beyond irresponsible.  It’s plain stupid and I think someone’s ego needs a leash and a muzzle.  Thanks you peniswhipped cocktail.

Item two:

Sarah Palin and her new book and book tour.  She’s doing the “battleground” states.  Who cares?  Run the stupid bitch in 2012.  Please.  Run Romney and Huckabee and Limbaugh or Hannity.  The Keystone Cops, The Stooges, The Flinstones or maybe Tucker Carlson and Orly Tates and Wile E. Coyote.  Yep, bring it.  Give us a show.  I swear I equated Romney to Guy Smiley before the Daily Show did.  Bitches.  I’m way on top of this shit.  Sometimes.

Item three:

I’m very much encouraged to hear Obama has rejected all battle plans he’s been presented with for Afghanistan.  We don’t have the resources in terms of personnel and we don’t have the money to even attempt to support a government we know to be abstrusely compromised.  It’s a no win boys and girls.  The pooch was raped seven years ago.  People die for no reason everyday.

Time to take the long way home.  Russia failed.  England failed.  No invading force or country has ever prevailed despite it being among the poorest countries on earth.  We’re certainly no smarter and likely even dumber than those who’ve come before us.

We have no clear objectives or realistically realizable goals.  No one can define “victory” or a “successful mission”.  We are lost.  Strangers in a strange land fighting for what?  Use the money we are spending there, to increase security here, if the idea really is to be proactive.

I’m not talking about taking off your goddamn shoes or limiting the size of your toothpaste or shampoo containers before you board a flight from Burbank to fucking Reno.  I always travel to Reno at the behest of Allah because I don’t shit where I eat.  Ha!  Such policies are useless and miss the point entirely.  It’s all about demonstrating that someone, somewhere, is doing something to show the dumbest among us that someone, somewhere is doing something to protect us.  Nevermind that it represents nothing more than an inconvenience and an egregious breach of logic.  Somewhere, someone is doing something.

In the meantime, more people die everyday because of lack of health care or insurance than in our elective wars.  Pretty fucking stupid, huh?  It’s no wonder the world thinks we’re a big stupid bully.  It’s no wonder Sarah Palin still has a realistic shot at the presidency.

The only way to even find out if the conflict in Afghanistan is solvable is to escalate it to the level of the Vietnam conflict.  That means 50,000 dead Americans and millions of dead Afghanis, many of whom will be civilian.  Good plan.  Time to walk away.

Wait.  That’s actually more than we lose every year due to our health care clusterfuck.  Oh boy.  Now we’re cooking with butane.

Item four:

I don’t really care if the Ft. Hood massacre is defined as “terrorism” or not.  It was terrible.  Horrible.  Horribalism?  Anyone?  It’s a fucking tragedy and Republican efforts to label it as terrorism amount to nothing more than a cheap shot as well as shameful exploitation of what is simply an American tragedy.  Somehow these pricks believe that if they can succeed with the blatant polemic nomenclature of terrorism they can claim that a terrorist event occurred on Obama’s watch.  Good luck with that you fucks.  Your’s happened two months earlier under your watchful and diligent eyes and you lost three thousand in an event so contrived that I doubt we know half the truth.  We lost thirteen.

Idiots.

Drinks for my friends.

The far right neocons persist in marginalizing themselves with hate and irrationality, taking with them the entire GOP, Christians, evangelicals, conservatives and moderates.  It’s a spectacle.  A spectacular one.  One buoyed exclusively by vituperative vitriolic invective vehemence.  Pardon me but brainspank literally loves alliteration and it just happens to be entirely true.

I’m trying to tell you it lacks substance entirely.

They’ve abandoned facts and reason completely for fear, anger and hatred.

Republicans used to be wrong, not unreasonably stupid.  Not so unapologetically obtuse.

Misguided perhaps but not insane.

What the fuck happened?  Whatever it was, it took place on my generation’s watch.  The elephantine have always been more racist, a little more greedy, a little too covetous of power and influence, a little too hypocritically pious and a little too lacking in compassion for the plight of the average American. That at least has been my perception.

Over the last two decades however, they’ve morphed into the political equivalent of little Regan from The Exorcist.  Pun firmly and resolutely intended.  Nasty, pea soup projectile vomiting, head spinning, cartoon effigies. When called on their bullshit, they hide behind an ugly wrongheaded nationalism thinly disguised as patriotism.  Naked ugly jingoism.  Ironic the “isms” they so casually toss at the rest of us.

They leave scales like fish wherever they go.  It’s true.

My generation has witnessed the emergence and fortuitous exorbitance of such profound and disgusting dicktards as Ann Coulter, Rush Limbaugh, Bill O’Reilly, Glenn Beck  and Sean Hannity.  Elected representatives like Santorum, Ensign, DeLay, Palin, Dumbya, Grassley, Bachmann, Cantor, Gingrich, Joe Wilson and John Boehner.   Birthers, Deathers, Teabaggers, Tenthers and Twelvers.  Michael Steele, Joe The Plumber, Dick Cheney and Fox fucking news.  Each and every one on this incomplete list of a uniquely American cavalcade of contretemps is a lying, obfuscating, shamelessly and hypocritically unpatriotic goddamn piece of shit.

And they all represent the contemporary conservative movement.  Bear with me, I’m getting at something here.

Worthless, toxic, poisonous entities.  Zero contribution to constructive public discourse.  Absent everything save prurience and avarice.  Giant boulders of sand in a smallish tub of Vaseline.  Kidney stones the size of a thumb in an already inflamed urinal tract.  Ugly and dumb.

Soon, they’ll disavow being mammals.

Take for example the rhetoric over the Nobel.

Some dickhead from Fox, Brian Kilmeade, wonders aloud whether Obama delayed the decision on troop deployment in Afghanistan to better his chances for the Nobel.

The Human Shitsmear announces that the “Nobel Gang have just suicide bombed themselves”.

Some asshat from Redstate said it was part of an “affirmative action quota”.

Glenn Beck thinks the Teabaggers deserve it more.

And The Human Shitsmear says “Something has happened here that we all agree with the Taliban and Iran about and that is he doesn’t deserve the award.”

Curiouser and curiouser.  Crazier and crazier.  From shrill and scary, to gangs of banshees on meth.

Thus they further isolate themselves and alienate the humane and honest.  As their bubble shrinks, it’s skin grows thicker.  They hear and see less and less of the real world.  Their shared view, ever more myopic.  They inhabit more and more the CAVE dweller acronym.   To wit: citizens against virtually everything.  Get it?

I could spend all day providing egregious example after outrageous foray into overt racism, lies, baseless smears, deliberate distortions, hypocrisy, mean spirited interpretations………but see, I already have.  I have been for years.  I’m not alone.  Not by far.  They are so very afraid and fear is a great force multiplier.

It’s a fact that the number of Americans who identify themselves as Republican is way down and there’s no end to that atrophy in sight.  Disdain for for their lies and misrepresentations grow.  The last two election cycles have borne this out.  Yet The Human Shitsmear still has about 20 million listeners and Fox yet enjoys better than twice the audience of CNN and MSNBC combined.  I can’t help but be ecstatic about the their self perpetuating and therefore self defeating dynamic, but they stall manage to kick a lot of balls and infect substantial consciousness on the way down.

I believe at least 25% of any given population is incorrigibly stupid.  Roughly the number that still supported Nixon.  Roughly the number that still supports Bush.  It’s a fact.  Show me what you’re workin’ with.

Ah but:

“The White House’s battle with Fox News reached a new high on Sunday, when Communications Director Anita Dunn went on national television to blast Fox as a partisan organization that functions as an appendage to the Republican Party.

“Fox News often operates almost as either the research arm or the communications arm of the Republican Party,” Dunn told CNN, adding, “let’s not pretend [Fox is] a news organization like CNN is.” Dunn also took her beef to The New York Times, saying in a Sunday interview that Fox is “undertaking a war against Barack Obama and the White House [and] we don’t need to pretend that this is the way that legitimate news organizations behave.” -The Nation

Fuckin’ A.

There are those who would say, among them David Gergen of CNN, that the administration can neither afford to engage the FOX network in the context of so many larger issues at hand, and that it is somehow unseemly or inappropriate.

I admit I understand, and even feel that on certain levels, but still I have to call bullshit on it.  This ain’t your dad’s TV News.  There are no rules, no decorum, it’s all changed and these guys are assholes.  They have no integrity, they’re in it for the money and they won’t quit until it stops paying.  Reptiles pure and plain.  They all spend time on a warm rock every day.

Never has a President been so embattled with zero emphasis on policy, ever.  They never ever even bother to introduce or even recognize actual stated, written positions or policies ever.  Ever.  FOX news and it’s cadre of asshole spokesholes is the worst example of journalism in this or any other civilized country.  They are the suicide bombers of the American Media.  They would never die for their beliefs but they willingly fall on swords of stupidity and blow themselves up with combustible bigotry all day long.  The key difference between them and the real thing is the lack of integrity and courage.  Truth and honesty.  The ‘real thing’ being fanatics with the twisted courage of conviction and journalists with truth as their ideal.  FOX falls no where in between even those two extremes.  At the end of the day, they sacrifice their dignity and self respect.  They wake every morning fresh, to plunge into ignorance, reckless hostility and enmity and lie after fucking lie after fucking lie.

For nothing but the filthy lucre.

I’m completely aware of the potential consequence (s) a protracted street brawl between the White House and an entity like FOX and I am fully in favor of this administration taking them on and cleaning their clock.  When they do their damndest to lie, call them on their irresponsible and misleading shit.  You think the brain trust at FOX can even approach the level of intelligence, wit and wisdom in the White House?  Me either.  It’s not like it will be heavy lifting or time consuming.

I know full well that there are way bigger fish to fry but this has a strategic component to it too.  Although the mouth breathers are a minority, they are a sizable and vocal one, and the most obvious and singular ringmaster is…….well, the Cartoon Network and then FOX.

Again, this ain’t your dad’s TV News.

“This ain`t no party, this ain`t no disco, this ain`t no fooling around
No time for dancing, or lovey dovey, I ain`t got time for that now”  -The Talking Heads

I believe it to be an absolute imperative of cunning and tactics.  Bring it.  And just maybe, for once, the Democrats will be seen to have a spine and a pair of testicles.  Wouldn’t that be cool?  Like punching the bully in the mouth so hard he falls down in front of the bus and the Democrats just once, walk up the steps breathing steam, proud and righteous.

That’s what I’m talking about.

Drinks for my friends.

The President of The United States of America was awarded the Nobel Prize for Peace today.

Wow.

“By awarding you its most prestigious prize, the Committee is rewarding your determined commitment to human rights, justice and spreading peace across the world, in accordance with the will of its founder Alfred Nobel. It also does justice to your vision of tolerance and dialogue between States, cultures and civilizations.  Finally, it sets the seal on America’s return to the heart of all the world’s peoples.” -Nicolas Sarkozy

Nice.

Obama himself admitted to not being certain he deserved the honor and saw it as less of a tribute than a call to action.  I can’t help but admire his lack of pretentiousness.  He is serious and sincere and if they would just let him do what we elected him to do.  What he came to do.  It is so painful to watch, overt cockblocking every time he puts a foot forward.  Nasty, senseless, painfully obvious obstruction for the sake thereof instead of reason or logic or common fucking sense.

It is clear to me that the Nobel committee intended to send the message that it liked the talk, but eagerly anticipated and encouraged the walk.  I’m confident that about sums it up.  There is no mystery here.  They realize the potential power for good America holds in her fists and understand that we now have a leader of the caliber, intellect and compassion to loosen those fists into hands for helping and shaping and lifting.

Seems as though we’re always at a crossroads, a critical juncture.  This President presides over the most persistently precarious positions and potential shifts of paradigm of any President in my lifetime at least.  The ill conceived placement of a single toe, and we stare nuclear holocaust, collapse of the world economy, famine and pestilence in a face so proximate, it’s collective exhale will wither the young, the infirm and most of the worlds crops.

Understand we flirt with disaster by the hour.

Most Hostess and Armour products will endure.  I think I’ll bury some to be safe.  Oh, and some Ramen.  There’s always a silver lining.  Something to snack on while we rot will mitigate the circumstances somewhat.  I’m hoping for blankets and comics until we liquify or sublimate to gaseousness.

Our man literally has the weight of the world on his shoulders.  He bears it, along with the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, with grace, dignity and humility.  What’s in play here is not just mutually assured destruction, but racism and bigotry and people with rotting teeth because they don’t eat their vegetables or brush their teeth or read the goddamn paper.

I am proud.  I am firmly of the belief that what stands between Obama, the American people and true, legitimate meaningful progress towards peace, justice and equity, is fear, ignorance, racism and stupidity so bold and heedless as to be unable to define itself, it’s reasons or it’s intentions.  These people are fucking nuts.

Our President received the Nobel Prize for Peace today.  The world roots for us and him.  After the eight years long nightmare we visited on the world by either endorsing or acquiescing to the Dick-in-Bush antipathy and odium for the rest of the globe, the civilized nations are looking to us and hoping, praying, that we will turn the destructive behemoth around.

That’s what this means.  This is what they’re asking us to do.  It’s why they did it.  Don’t be stupid.

It was no phantasm.  It was real and horrible and what it wrought will take decades to repair.  So western civilization is asking, beseeching us, to get back in the game of righting things as opposed to ignoring or tearing them apart.  We are all human.  Humanity is both our lowest and highest common denominator.  Above and beyond country, ethnicity, religious provocation or social and ethical imperatives, we are all the same species.  We are humans.  We are people.  All of us bleed, most of us love.

Still, people don’t or refuse to understand the import of such a momentous occurrence.

“It is unfortunate that the president’s star power has outshined tireless advocates who have made real achievements working towards peace and human rights.’’ -RNC chair Michael Steele

Like who fuckhead?  Rush “The Human Shitsmear” Limbaugh?  Michele Bachmann?  Ann Coulter?  Hannity?  John Boehner?  Joe Wilson?  Cornyn?  Cheney?  Rove?  Hatch?  Rumsfeld?  Condi Rice?  Palin?

Oh, the list is sooooo much longer.  More than a gutter, more than a ditch.  A landfill littered with losers just like you.  Guilty and stupid.

Not exactly a roster of live and let live, compassion or peace, love and understanding.  Fuck you Michael Steele you ignorant, sycophantic, Uncle Tom piece of shit.  What we have here is a very good day for America and whomever pulls your strings is more sad and pathetic than even you.  You suck as a human being and a puppet.  How do you and yours sleep?

Drinks for my friends.

The talking heads were hard at it yesterday, pontificating on how Obama has yet to accomplish anything.  This pisses me off for a number of reasons.  Dumbya accomplished nothing good for the average middle class American in his entire eight years.  All he did was consistently kick the feet out from under them.  With the palm of his hand, he held skulls against any given surface and visited violent intercourse upon them dispassionately, save some boyish cowboy glee, from behind.

Primeval.

Archaic.

Yup, in the ass.  Clearing brush and evildoers.  Smokin’ em out.  Fucking retard.

He smirked and smiled all Alfred E. Newman, chuckled and believed his retardedness to be anointed, appointed and ‘special’, to carry out such an awful and dastardly thing.  God made him do it, as opposed to Cheney and the PNACs I guess.

I beg to differ.

The quintessential violent and clueless bully who turns out not to be so bad when it’s over.  Except he’s dumb as a stick.

Oh, and President.  Elected twice and all.  By us and and all.  Without prejudice and presence of mind and all.  I mean President of the US of A.  Dumb as a goddamn branch floating in a polluted river.

And all.

The clusterfuck that Obama inherited is arguably the worst any president has ever walked into.  The blind partisan obstruction by Republicans is easily the most egregious in our history.

A wounded cur, sits and drools increasingly intrepid and malignant.  Snarling and snotty and shrinking.

Still, she keeps barking and smacking.  Protesting everything that moves.  She just can’t stand anything that moves.  Anything that moves.  Oh, she can’t tolerate it.  Kill it, she thinks, the vicious bitch canine trained to hate toddlers and grandmas and the disabled.

You know, not since FDR has any president walked into such a shitstorm.

Bear with me as this is entirely different, from FDR, or any other presidency ever.  Waaay different.

Needless to say, FDR strode bravely into the worst of modern times.   Still, he enjoyed near total congressional cooperation.  At least to begin with.  All on the same page, all willing to advance what needed to be done.  Patriotism over partisanship.  Few questions asked.  Get this shit done.  It was bad and in need of immediate repair.  What follows is the golden phrase.

They worked together for the benefit of us all.

Our man faces the extreme opposite while enduring the same environment and circumstances.  No cooperation.  A stark and ugly deficit of good will.  Twice as hard and he’s black.  So six times as hard.  This man is hoping for eight years and despite my lack of religion, God love him, his family and all of their souls. Godspeed, good luck and pancakes with peanut butter and syrup for each of their souls.

I say to you, you fucking go.  You charge ahead and do as much damage and make as much difference as you can.  Bring it.  Show us your courage and we will fly your flag.  I care less that you are our first black President than I do that you are MY first inspirational one.  You speak to me and to we and it really could be you and me together.  You may stumble, but as long as you get up, we will will be behind you.  At your back.  Wanting and hoping for the the same things.

Bring it and we will stay.  I will.  I will, you are stuck with me.

Fury, hatred and racism have once again become the dubious hallmark of the far right Christian wingnuts and an alarmingly malignant  component of the generic conservatives and workaday GOP.  The likes of Limbaugh and Hannity are so emboldened they simply lie these days.  By what?  Where does the courage come from?  Why?  Where do these fucks get off?

The public option has not the support of the majority they screech, it’s a government take over they wail.  I watched Cornyn puke it up yesterday morning.  He was lying.  They lie.  Over and over, again and again, on national television or whatever venue they happen to ass warm a seat in.  The money for their re-election is a greasy pizza with shitty crust but plenty of cash cooked and delivered by the folks who own and control over 16 percent of our entire GDP.

Let me tell you something.  Americans are goddamn dumb.  Gullible.

You losers who eat this shit should be ashamed.  Show up at the 7-11 after dark for your beef jerky and canned meat.  Slim Jims and greasy food for dipshits and protein starved mouthbreathers.  Watch your Springer and listen to your Hannity while you drive around in your ridiculous trucks feeling your genitalia are somehow more special than they should be.

Over two thirds of adult Americans want and wish for a public option.  I don’t believe a president has ever been elected with as vastly voluminous a majority as the one in favor of a simple public option right now and today.  It’s what we want.  It’s so simple.  But this is your government at work and it’s disgusting.  One of the biggest businesses in the history of man.  The precise and exact opposite is the truth and they know it as well as I and as well you should if you can afford to pay any attention at all.  Without shame or conscience they just throw tires on the fire, so everyone can see the thick toxic smoke.  Lie and lie, because that’s what they’re paid to perpetuate.  No different than your bought and paid for Congresspersons and Senators.

If we do not get this, it will not be ok.

I’m really not holding my breath because the Democrats have been nothing but a lesson in how to suck so far without regard to future endeavors at all.  Oh well.  I’m a little drunk.  Yer mama.

Drinks for my friends.

Obama wasn’t able to score the economic boon that would have been the Olympics in Chicago.  I kinda assumed it was close to a done deal and he was going there to seal said deal.  Turns out it was the opposite.  Turns out that’s why he showed, to try and save it.  This is our President and it’s why he’s our President.  The shining American city of Chicago placed dead last.  Sucks don’t it?  Not just because of the potential jobs and renewed  dignity on the world stage, but because of the mill grist his unsuccessful sprint to Copenhagen will avail itself of; we’re off to disingenuous right wing shovelry again.

They wasted not a second.  I listened to Hannity and the Human Shitsmear yesterday morning and they were having a field day.  Extended recess and shitty pizza for the retards.  Toxic glee. They pretend not to be cognizant of the guaranteed monetary benefits to be reaped.  They posture as though it were warrantless hubris.  They carry on exploiting the stupid and making a killing on the backs of the ignorant.  As shameless and vulgar a debacle as I ever have borne witness to.

That’s not entirely true, they’ve done so much worse.

Still, this sucks.

He tried.

I’m not about to say he fucked up.  He didn’t.  He did the right thing.  It was important.  It would have been instant jobs.  Enough to eclipse the current losses for months.  It is why he was there.  He understood it be an opportunity to salve his country’s considerable wounds.  Deep lacerations courting infection that he discovered only after walking in.

The irony is that it has more to do with the leadership for the previous eight years than anything else.  It was Dick-in-Bush that raped the pooch.  Our system for awarding visas is archaic and that is the least of it.   Whenever former leadership took a step, it was bad and stupid.  Unilateral wars and severely mitigating civil rights and ignoring laws both domestic and international for reasons unsound and flat out made up.  No wonder the world thinks we’re shit and I can’t blame them.  It isn’t Obama’s fault that everyone now knows we’re dicks.

Yet, everybody knows.

Can you say conventional wisdom?

Zeitgeist?

I could not and do not blame them.  We’ve been the biggest assholes on the planet for almost a decade now.  I’m sick of America and I live here.

I simply must be unpatriotic.  Un-American.  According to all the jingoistic rounheaded fucktards.

I pride myself on being well informed.  I am well informed.  I’m as certain of this as I am of adoring  large breasts.  Boobs.  Knockers.  Huge scoops of flesh and the sigh of brainrot.

Oh Lord, don’t strike me down.

Once again, our man’s biggest problem is the one who came before him.  Handicapped by the mentally handicapped.

The mess he inherited is more copiously voluminous, egregious and self inflicted than any man before him in recorded history.

Obama walked willingly into a shitstorm.

Remind yourself of that.  Often.

He knew.

George W. Bush wasn’t evil, just breathtakingly stupid, though everyone around him manifested inky terrifying darkness of a magnitude beyond 8.9 on the Richter-O’-graph.  This here is a mere symptom, a flesh wound requiring a band aid in the scheme of damage done and waste laid.  Obama is no ordinary President but I’m hear to tell you, and I endeavor to make it clear, that his circumstances may just be as extraordinary as the birth of this nation and the attendant violence that ensued.

I fear the violence that has yet to come.  I fear it because I know it’s coming.  I fear it’s inevitability and the uncertainty of how it will most certainly emerge.  The Rednecks Cometh.

They just can’t stand that a nigger and his wife sleep between the crisp white sheets in the White House.  An affront to their sensibilities.  So much so that they attack every common sense thing he does.  Maneuvers and criticisms are ugly and transparent.  Senseless and obvious.  Plain, overt, and embarrassing for the rest of us.

Were he to walk on water they would whine about his inability to swim.

I stole that but it’s completely true.

I think we should suspend the sale of Happy Meals.  Prizes in cereal boxes are shit these days so I’m not overly concerned there.  While we’re at it, Crackerjack treasure is shite too, so you know, whatever.  We have nothing to celebrate until Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas.  Those holidays are stained with dubiousness too.  We are so hopelessly flawed.

The most racist among us protest so vehemently that they are not, while they are nothing but.

We’ve got no reason to be happy about a goddamn thing.  Our tits are in a ringer.

This shit is way fucked up.

Drinks for my friends.

My father would say ” I don’t understand all I know about that.”

Me too, or me either.

How is it asshats like Boehner and Bachmann, Cantor, Beckerhead, Limbaugh and Hannity can be comfortable in their own skin inveighing against Obama for spending eighteen hours in Copenhagen, lobbying to bring the Olympics to Chicago in 2016?  If he’s successful, it will bring hundreds of thousands of jobs and billions of dollars to the beleaguered city starting the day after next.  They all know this, yet they pretend not too, hoping we won’t know the difference.  Understanding that the people who listen to them exclusively don’t want to know.

Preaching to and preying on the idiots.  How do they sleep?  With a diaper I’m sure.

They understand that’s why he’s doing it.  It’s a chance at a tourniquet and maybe the saviour for an opposable thumb or at least a pinkie toe.

There is no downside for the great unwashed.  As MSNBC pointed out this evening, Dumbya spent the better part of a week on photo ops and ass slapping in China as an embarrassing spectator.  This cartoonery, while embroiled in two worsening wars and seismic rumblings foreboding an impending economic apocalypse.  He spent a third of one of the most disastrous periods in American history on vacation clearing fucking brush on his own stupid ranch.  It was cool, Dick was in charge.  Bush vs. brush for well over a quarter of the entire time.

“Let’s have a non-alcoholic beverage, some chips and watch this here football contest.  Watch I don’t choke and nevermind that daily brief about imminent terrorist attacks.  Hell, I’m the President, have a  real beer.  You like deviled eggs?  Goddamn, I do.  We got whiskey here somewhere.  Sombitch.”

Obama takes a week in the Hamptons and they behave like he’s ignoring Armageddon.

It may have been Michele Obama who said something like, if he walked on water they’d say he can’t swim.  Yup.

You may get away with accusing him of spreading too thin but you can’t accuse him of not working his ass off for us.

I really need to keep this short, I’ve got plenty else going on, but goddamn it’s hard to watch.  As far as I can see, this man is killing himself, working very hard and with beyond ordinate, point blank results.  Iran agrees to let UN inspectors inside in a matter of weeks and publicly states a willingness to entertain outsourcing nuclear fuel enrichment.  That could mean never having enough on hand to build a bomb and never having to say you’re sorry.

That’s just this week.

That’s fucking huge but we complain or worry about his briefest of sojourns in Denmark.

Biden’s got a jacked up lid but I’m fine with him having the conch.  He’s a loose lipped cashier but I trust him.  I own what it is to have an unruly wig and loose lips.

Health care reform is steaming down the mountain and I for one am cautiously optimistic.  On this alone is far further than any President has ever come.  He plays it cagey but he’s too smart to not know what he’s doing.  He may be wrong but don’t think he doesn’t have a plan.

Get the fuck off him you shameless mouthbreathers.

Drinks for my friends.

Greasy ones from this Jimboy’s joint here in town.  Cheese and cheap salty ground beef that will make your ankles swell.  Hard shell corn tortilla envelopes made malleable by the  copious orange grease and cheap yellow cheese.  Order an extra large Arnold Palmer because yer gonna need it.

Man I need some pot.

Life is all about curveballs and and gutterballs.

I can’t believe the lies and exaggerations of the right wing sleaze shovel jockeys.  I heard the Human Shitsmear, Limbaugh, proclaim offhandedly that the crowd for the 9/12 rally was a million plus this morning.  My jaw did not drop.  I took my my morning crap while I lamented stupidity.  Later I learned that Fox actually showed decade old pictures of the Million Man March to bolster the lie.

Hello God?  It’s me, irony.  Oh, and I’m inexcusably, as in voluntarily, retarded and therefore dangerous.

His subtlety belied the giant lie he knew he was foisting upon his audience of millions of mouth breathing cro-magnon foreheaded, backwardass, loser sycophants.  Spell check is furious with that last sentence.  The socialist Washington DC Fire Dept. estimated the crowd to be sixty thousand at best.  Some reports have it as low as twenty five thousand.

So much for the Beckian big tent circus of discontent.

Invalid soldiers, a fart in a whirlwind.  A puff of neanderthal air.  A mere mote or eye booger, in the eye of truth, justice and the American way.

Much ado about nothing at all.  Still, I’m really pissed off.

If we do some rough arithmetic based on on the median IQ actually present, I feel safe in estimating the crowd as being far less than would be required to fill your average Wal-Mart.  Disgusting.  Appalling.  I watched an unscripted clip on facebook today that revealed these mental midgets lack the capacity to discern a meaningful difference between fascism, communism or socialism, they in fact, experience profound difficulty distinguishing between plants and animals.  They hope all vegetation is in possession of a soul so that it may attend services and donate to the NRA.

Get thee back to the bog you mole and wart infested reptiles.  Their females struggle with dark black facial stubble and psoriasis.  They pollute our gene pool and water supply and poison the national discourse.  They of all people require and would benefit from government subsidy.  We do need camps for you.  Pestilent and dirty.  Please remove them for they are stupid and contagious.

What I’m telling you is these birthers, deathers, tenthers, twelvers and goddamn nimrods are foul and deleterious of our social fabric.  Dangerous idiots.  What so inspires these jackasses?  What binds them?  Where lies the crude commonality?  The glue? What could  possibly be the low common denominator?

Well, whether they know it or not, they are all, every single one of them, including their televised and broadcasted fomentors, racist fucking fucks.  Stupid, dentally challenged, pinheaded white trash.  Rationally challenged and pridefully irresponsible.

Afraid, suspicious and fearful for no sane reason.

Goddamn dumb.

I loathe them and their willful, lazy ignorance.  They conspicuously consume the snake oil so audaciously proffered by charlatan frauds like Hannity, The Human Shitsmear
(Limbaugh) and Glenn Televangeashit Beck.  They follow and believe anything anyone one of these guys purports, proclaims or posits and they are all, candidates for a prefrontal lobotomy.

Perhaps a new health care deal would rid them from us.  Maybe that’s why their so afraid.

Forgive my elaborate aspersion but it’s my sincere and most humbly earnest neurophilosophy.  If only I could shame these people.  Call them out one by one and show them how dumb and carcinogenic they are.  Just what fools they are and the damage they do.

I’d do the bonedance with Serena Williams in a heart beat.  As an agnostic, I have zero reservation in telling you that good God she’s hotter than Georgia asphalt.  Kanye West is a crotch dweller.  What a looselipped cashier.  Kanye should boil his own head.  Hubris on parade.

Drinks for my friends.

I’ve gone through a change.  Transformed.  Like menopause.  Suddenly, the Republican Agenda makes sense to me.  I’ve gone from liberal to vacuous.

Seriously.  Work with me here.

Torture makes complete sense in the context of liberty and justice for all.  Dick Cheney and his minions should not be investigated or prosecuted.  They were merely doing their best.  It’s hopeless silliness, not to mention unpatriotic, to pursue any form of persecution of these brave defenders of the American way.  As American’s, we are better than everyone else, we don’t deserve the scrutiny.  We are above it.  God put us here to rule the world and he is on our side.  Our unique responsibility is to rid the world of evil.

We are special.  Jesus tells us so.  The Bible tells us so.

Our qualifications are exclusive and divine.  Christian Americans are The Chosen.

Republicans in particular.

The faithful.

Those who’ve failed to reach their fiscal potential are not my problem, my concern and certainly not my fault.  Maybe God’s will is that they should be left behind.  A kind of religious natural selection.  Ha!  Take that you atheist Darwin lovers.  After all, God only helps those that help themselves.  Christ has no use or patience for the weak or impaired, they are unable to do for themselves and are therefore worthless to the Holy Spirit.  Never give a fish to a Democrat, teaching the worthless to fish is a waste of time. Some have been chosen and some have not.  The Christian way and obviously what the Heavenly Father intended for the Christian nation of America.

The rich should be taxed minimally, if at all.  Wealth drives the modern economy.  They provide the largess for jobs and industry.  They are the chosen.  Thus, their generosity is evident and already in place.  They do far more than the beggar or the homeless can or would.

I’ve come to loath the rotting toothed, stupid and desperate poor.  God has not chosen riches for me but I shudder when I gaze upon the worthless because I know my tax dollars go to prolong their miserable lives.  Poor but obese, they lack the sense to choose wholesome and nutritious food.  They neither know nor care enough too seek proactive medicines or practices and I don’t doubt that’s all part of God’s plan.  That these zombies are allowed to drain the money and resources of American society in general confuses me.  God does work in mysterious ways.

I don’t hate them because God says not to.

America is the land of opportunity.  Always has been.  Those who’ve failed to take advantage of America’s vast and ripe system of free education and abundant possibility are simply beyond hope, especially once they pass the threshold of adulthood.  I work, I have a job, so these greasy, dentally challenged trailer park dwellers, these weak and worthless veterans of our wars who can’t get it together and refuse to do for themselves, make me want to puke.  Look at all the goddamn foreigners that take jobs as convenience store clerks or manual labor workers that take jobs from worthy Americans.  Are these people less capable, less able than honest Americans?  Maybe they are, maybe they’re not.

Falls under not my fucking problem.  All I know is I’d much rather have my tax dollars go towards fighting the raghead terrorists than these wastes of God’s air.  I see these people in wheelchairs sporting an oxygen tank in casinos and I just know my money is paying for them instead of keeping us safe from Satan’s Muslim evil doers.  They should be euthanized like the diseased cat’s and dogs that make a mess of my trash and threaten neighborhood children with a cornucopia of malaise.  Tics, fleas and ringworm.

Ever heard that expression “Kill ’em all and lot God sort them out”?  I’m down with that.  I’m no judge and jury but get them off my block and out of my town.

Sometimes I think Hitler was more on the ball than he gets credit for.  Everyone knows the Jews control the banks and the entire entertainment industry.  You know “The Family” on C Street more or less agrees.  He really was just looking to rid his country of Faggots, Gypsies, Jews and the ethnically impure. Hitler was a Christian too, you know.  He had “The Ultimate Solution” and I think we could take a page or two from his playbook.

It’s a good dose of reality as opposed to the fascism and socialism pinko liberals try so hard to cram down our necks every fucking day.

See, they’re not patriots like me and you.  They love niggers and spics and anyone who isn’t from the Mayflower like us.  They are weak.  They give money to all the dirty and lazy regardless of their color.  Ask me for money on the street, I’ll tell you to get a job you piece of shit.  They wander around pushing their stolen shopping carts full of stolen trash and I hate them.  Their skin a map of rashes, their eyes bloodshot with their hands out and the cloud of foul stink they walk in.  This instead of a job?

Fucking lazy if you ask me.  No excuse.

Christ has blessed my soul with charity but these people have no will or desire and don’t deserve the fish I can afford.  If they won’t die, better off behind bars at $30k a year because they are a menace.  Know God or pay the price.

We should attack and punish those countries who threaten us.  The future of the world depends on the triumph of Christianity over Islam.  They’re heathens and there’s no chance of co-existing with a bunch of towel headed camel jockeys.  Crude and uncivilized.  We have nukes and they don’t.  Time to use them.  Negotiation is pointless.  Turn their the desert into glass.

Take a breath.

I hope you understand that I’m kidding.  I’ve painted a picture for you of what I hate.  It is a caricature for sure.  A broad stroke, the impetus, the catalyst, being a solid month of right wing talk radio and it’s blatant, overt dishonesty.  Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh are simultaneously American icons and stains on America’s aspirations and her identity.  What they do everyday is sick, irresponsible and evil.  They and their ilk seek nothing more than to pollute our national discourse so egregiously as to rile the stupid and offend the thoughtful to the extent that they are actually paid handsomely for their treason.  Shining examples of the worst of us.  The physical manifestation of everything that is wrong with American society, patriotism and all our precious ideas.

They are paid handsomely to stir shit.  Disgusting.  I would swing on either one.  I fucking hate these guys.

This blog is dedicated to Teddy Kennedy.  Not perfect by any means, I understand his flaws better than you can know, a lion nonetheless.  A champion of all those I’ve lampooned so harshly here.  The dynasty has ended.  It really is America’s loss.

His passing is poignant and symbolic.  It was with JFK’s assassination that the modern era of brutal politics flooded us.  The subsequent courage of LBJ and the assassinations of Robert Kennedy and Martin Luther King cemented the vulgar ugliness of right versus left in this once vital and proud nation.  We have fallen from those heights.  Those ideals and those hopes.

In so many ways, we are in the same place.  A half African, half Caucasian man as President.  We are back in that place more than you probably know.  Round headed idiots showing up to Town hall meetings sporting  loaded weaponry enough to slay everyone in front of them.  Adolph fucking Hitler invoked over and over.  There are so many children in America, both literally and figuratively.  I worry so much that despite the election, we are forced to choose between a martyr or Superman.

It would be convenient and gratuitously exculpatory to pontificate here, but I’ll spare both you and me.  Save this:  Both John McCain and Orin Hatch disingenuously lamented the absence of Ted Kennedy from the health care debate in the last day or two, insinuating that his presence would have made a difference.  Fucking pricks.  Shame on you assholes.  You and your ever shrinking party are beginning to trip over your own dicks in your own race for shamelessness.

Public option or bust.

Drinks for my friends.

I like talk radio.

There is no talk radio in Carson City.

That’s not exactly true.  The only kind available is of The Human Shitsmear and Sean Hannity variety.  I wake up every morning to Limbaugh.  Entertaining.  Yup.

I am in awe.  Astounded.  I’m sure it’s a very lucrative gig.  It must be.  It would have to be.  He’s got a damn good radio voice.  He certainly sounds as though he’s bringing an abundance of conviction.  Despite my abject cognizance of what a despicable, hypocritical douchebag this consummate fuckhead is, were I retarded, I might be inclined to succumb to the rancorous enmity he so effortlessly pontificates toward anyone with a triple digit IQ.

Without a doubt, his audience, some twenty million or so, are mouth breathing, snot oozing, Depends wearing, pasty and pallid, gun loving, Jesus worshipping, irrationally fearful dipshits.  Just ordinary folks who would never vote for a black man or a woman because the very idea scares the living shit out of them.

This man, this Human Shitsmear , is not nearly as stupid as his brethren.  He is a master charlatan.  The hoax he perpetuates pollutes the most valuable and vital discourse we engage in.  Always, no matter the issue, Limbaugh and his ilk walk wide with nonsense and lies to distract and obfuscate.  How he sleeps at night is a mystery.

The entire behemoth of far right conservatives and GOP dickheads afford this gold bricker an amount of fealty that makes no goddamn sense whatsoever.  A racist drug addict without any evidence of faith or religious persuasion at all.  Yet they embrace him.  That he’s allowed to play on the national stage as an arbiter of anything is as disgusting as it is confounding.

A champion of idiots.  A prurient propagator of lies, deceit and disinformation for and to the great unwashed earn him a fat check.  Still, how does he sleep?  He’s no idiot.  He knows exactly what he’s doing.  Everything that is wrong with America is manifested by this Human Shitsmear.  The worst brand of sociopath.  Without a broadcasting career he would likely be a serial killer.

Or perhaps a very successful used car salesman.

I’ll be switching to a classic rock station.

Drinks for my friends.

“The nation whose population depends on the explosively compressed headline service of television news can expect to be exploited by the demagogues and dictators who prey upon the semi-informed.” -1996 memoir, “A Reporter’s Life.”

It’s a trite understatement to say he lived a full and long life.  My first memories of Walter Cronkite are from a handsome cherry wood Zenith console television, the smell of hot vacuum tubes and visions of astronaut endeavors in black and white.  The Columbia Broadcast System was the only channel with reliable reception on the outskirts of a very small town.

Rabbit ears but no foil.  We were a class act.  Roger Mudd.  Eric Sevareid.  Walter Cronkite.

CBS, NBC and ABC.

CBS.

The great improviser, who declared the Vietnam war unwinnable, after seeing it himself.  Pretty much ending the presidency of LBJ.  Legitimately speechless when Neil Armstrong declared one small step for man.  Yep, he paused when announcing the death of JFK.  Maybe teared up a little.  Unafraid to cover America’s civil rights struggle.  Back then there was the newspaper and the evening news.  The evening news was Walter Cronkite.  An icon who managed to eclipse Edward R. Murrow as America’s pre-eminent journalist.

Comforting that he wasn’t felled early like Murrow, Jennings or Russert.

But oh, what he must have thought of contemporary journalism.  The bar he hoisted so high, disgraced, disregarded and ultimately ignored.   Charlatans like Sean Hannity, Bill O’Reilly, Rush Limbaugh et al. Infotainment and Fox News.   Rampant unfounded celebrity worship.

He came from an era when network bosses weren’t sure if America would tolerate a half an hour of hard news as opposed to fifteen minutes.  They did.  They craved it.   To then witness our attention span shrink and atrophy.  Popular culture force fed to America and the rest of the world, a phenomena that eventually rendered actual news not entertaining enough, no matter it’s truth or content.  Mr. Cronkite was already on the sidelines.  Retired.  How this felt to him must have been devastating.

One could argue that America has gone to shit since Cronkite retired.  Sure seems like the time we really began to lose our way.  I’m thinking Reagan era.  Could have used him then.

His own truthful ideal obsolete.  Forced to witness it decline from there.

Graceful and honest.  A surrogate for the people’s necessary information.  He chose to color outside the lines but once or twice.  When he did, he did so with the best intentions and the result sent magnificent waves through all of America.  He affected change by telling HIS truth.  Otherwise, he did a little bit less.  He told us THE truth.

We ended up with Nixon.

He told us what we needed to know as best he could.

Yes, I’m old enough to remember him quite fondly.  The smells of my father’s aftershave and dinner in the kitchen, waiting for Mr. Cronkite to finish with the day’s events.

Good luck old man.

My hope is that you went gentle into that goodnight.

Drinks for my friends.

Good evening.

Bill Clinton gave the keynote speech to the American-Arab Anti-Discrimination Committee yesterday.

I’m cutting to the chase here with direct quotes.

“Global cooperation is crucial for the survival of mankind…..”

“If we have a chance, it has to begin by people accepting that they can be proud of who they are without despising who someone else is,”

….”we are genetically “99.5 percent the same……..”

“From time immemorial, people have fought over identity rooted in that (half percent),” Clinton said. “We should have spent more time thinking about that other 99.5 percent of ourselves.”

“You teach your children their ethnic heritage; their religious heritage; their cultural heritage with no negative reference to anyone else because it’s the only shot we’ve got to make the most of our interdependent world,”

All quotes from CNN.com

You’ll have to forgive me but these sentiments strike a real chord with me.  Beyond that chord, is a three part harmony and a choral ethereal behind it.  With a Hammond B3 through a tube Leslie cabinet and some tympanies and strings.  Some brass and wood.  French horns and Oboes.  Oooh, and a Moog.

“Teach your children well,
Their father’s hell did slowly go by,
And feed them on your dreams
The one they picked, the one you’ll know by.” -Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young

These simple notions explode in my heart.  If we could just live by them, we’d enjoy so much more peace.

John Lennon beseeched us gently to imagine.  To imagine an entire world with no religion, no hell and just the blue sky above.  No country.  No nationalism or even patriotism.  No reason to even covet wealth or profit from famine.

“A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world” -John Lennon

That’s big stuff there.

Then there’s proof we’re almost outta rope.  This is such a simple thing but the climate is getting ever more polarized and violent.  While the right wing frolics in it’s own pudenda, evangelicals are snug as a bug in a rug with the idea they are somehow among the righteous and will somehow live forever.

These folks are stupid.  These folks are mean.  Sheezus.

As cynical as I am, I’m still an optimist.

The latest xenophobic diatribe from the asshole club foolishly denounces the concept of being a citizen of the world.  Newt the Salamander (new nickname alert), mocked it last week in a speech before rotting doddering sycophants.  That’s dumb.  I don’t care what backward crap you subscribe to, if you are reading this, you are a citizen of the world.

Some of you don’t like it.

Tough shit.

Newt the Salamander cracks me up.  The hair of a robust but premature gray talk show host, the face of a caramel and Scotch addicted bigot, the grill of an octogenarian who’s still got some baby teeth.  Thinks he’s got a shot at the head office.  The way he’s shoveling sewage, he doesn’t have shit to say.

Whatever he does say smells like ass.  He packs his jowls with feline fecal tootsie rolls to lend his face symmetry.  I’m really happy I just said that exact thing.  I don’t care much for the Salamander.

Nattering nabobs of negativity want to know Newt’s languor.  How does the Salamander balance the warm rock and the cool water?  Plump and bellicose.

I’d like to have him over for drinks and duct tape him to a space heater.  Make him watch CSI Miami.  Feed him nothing but Slim Jim’s and Dr. Pepper.  He would change his own diapers whilst suspended by a chin strap.  Morticians would be allowed to practice on his pale countenance and somewhat alien bone structure.  I could invite some NBA size trannys.

” George W. Bush left office with a public approval rating under 30 percent. Less than 30 percent of Americans currently describe themselves as Republicans. The amalgam of evangelical Christians, hardcore gun-rights fanatics, anti-tax, anti-immigrant and anti-choice voters who make up the base of the Republican Party amount to less than 30 percent of the overall electorate.” -William Rivers Pitt, truthout.org

Salient point of ensuing article by Mr. Pitt is that it’s own base is reason for the GOP’s demise.  The Sarahs, salamanders and Huckabees are prisoners of their own device.  The once muscular, hard right base of the Republican party, the guns and God crew, are essential for candidates to be allowed to sit at the table, but now a virtual guarantee they’re exempt from being dealt a winning hand.

My synopsis: These guys are fucked and it’s all their fault.

Will Pitt rocks.  Like a hurricane.

As much as I loathe the great unwashed, I sincerely wish they’d wake the fuck up and smell the world along with America’s place in it.  They nearly screwed the pooch when they were in power last time and now they are poised to do their worst despite being the minority.  Irrational fear, ignorance, prejudice and unwillingness to judge a man based on the content of his character, but rather his religion, political affiliation, culture or social beliefs, has the whole movement flirting with obsolescence.

The Republican party is a parody of itself.

They have begun to eat their own.  They drag their party moderates toward a house still fully engulfed instead of even entertaining the idea they are less than absolutely right about everything.  Frustrating to watch.

It has always been true, always an imperative, but now it’s damn near an emergency; we must get along.  Share the world.  Humankind can no longer afford to relinquish reality and truth while clinging to individual interest and willful ignorance.  The fomenting of hate by right wing media is not just reckless and irresponsible but is literally a menace to society.  I’m not here to suggest we revoke the first amendment rights of fucktards like The Human Shitsmear (Limbaugh), Hannity, Coulter, Glenn Beck, O’Reilly or even the Cheneys.

Fight fire with fire by using your own rights under that same amendment to drown them out.  How hard would it be for every American who loathes Rush to storm his phone lines regularly?  Sunday afternoon in the park.  We could do it from facebook and myspace.

What then, of the example by the Iranian people this weekend over the travesty of their national election?  They took to the streets.  I understand that the chronic malfeasance of our ’00 and ’04 elections was not nearly so obtuse.  We are guilty nonetheless, for behaving.  Not nearly enough ‘what the fuck?’

They are furious and showing courage.  Point to me the American who doesn’t cheer this struggle.  These people are ass pissed as they should be.  This is incredibly good stuff.  Anybody looking for inspiration or even an example?

As I write this I watch dickheads go swine stupid downtown over a goddamn basketball championship.  Now that’s blind shithouse irony.

I have it on mute but LAPD are going paramilitary and scaring the crap out of them.  Herded like cattle and KCAL9 cuts to commercial.  Lean it up against what’s happening in Iran right now, that’s all I’m saying.

Drinks for my friends.

So Darth Cheney declared today that it would be a mistake to for the GOP to “moderate”.

“This is about fundamental beliefs and values and ideas … what the role of government should be in our society, and our commitment to the Constitution and constitutional principles,” Cheney said in an interview with North Dakota radio host Scott Hennen Thursday…… -CNN

North Dakota radio, heh.

Dick Cheney is a consummate douchebag. Commitment to the constitution? Fuck you, you lying hypocritical sleazy piece of shit. The object was for you to serve at the convenience of The Costitution, not for it to serve at yours. This statement by you makes me so angry because it reveals you as a world class liar and you still have the withered stones to beak sociopathic bullshit.

You Mr. Cheney, are the depth and breadth of the entire aggregate from dipshit to insanity. You are it’s evil and myopic, it’s misunderstanding, from front to back, from top to bottom. You pull strings for Limbaugh to Hannity, from Bachman to Lieberman.

You’re a dirty bastard.

You think you know, you imagine you have a handle, all in your hands is calcified turds. The fate of sucking is really bad enough. The idea of sucking and not knowing, is about as bad as it gets.

Poster child.

What’s occuring in the Republican party of late is beyond fascinating. It’s a multi car pileup with people face down on the pavement in their own gore. It’s that and a hokey, amateur production of The Music Man or Dirty Dancing or maybe a circus with only invalids for performers. They are breathtakingly out of touch.

Matt Taibbi wrote a great piece about it recently in Rolling Stone. He rocks.

With GOP spotlight whores like Michele Bachmann, John Boehner, Mitch McConnell, Sarah Palin and Tricky Dick Cheney, it’s not about to get any better. These people are clowns. Forgive me, it’s fucking awesome. The best and the brightest.

Too many of them don’t get it. It amazes me. They have zero grip on the simplest of things like conventional wisdom, current polls and even the goddamn news. The GOP has lost it’s romance with America. They were lying. Thank Sheezus we smelled the goddamn Joe.

I loathe right wing Christians. They’re stupid and diabolical.

Have you noticed how close together their eyes are?

I reserve the right to tell people their beliefs are stupid if they knock on my door or approach me in public. If their shit ends up all over the news, they should practice pissing up a rope.

Drinks for my friends.

It would be nice if we could simply choose our own channels. If I don’t pay my bill, Direct TV shuts me down in a heartbeat. I call them on the phone, arrange payment and within thirty seconds, access to like three hundred channels is restored. I don’t believe for a second that making individual choice available to customers isn’t possible.

I’d do the networks, they should be free and I’m a news junkie, including FOX, CNN,and MSNBC. Part of my addiction is to monitor the mainstream. Comedy Central, HBO and Showtime for movies, excellent series’ and boxing. One local affiliate. They all suck but I need access to at least one local news outlet. Maybe some nature channels, IFC and that other one……..

I need to step off this topic for awhile. You who read me regularly understand I am wont to do.

I am moved by this President. He takes complex questions and answers them with intelligence and nuance. He talks to us and explains himself with an earnestness and sincerity that make plain his need for us to understand. He does want to include and engage the lowest common denominator. I believe I’d be remiss were I not to point out the glaring contrast between Mr. Obama and our previous President, who catered to and exploited the lowest common denominator almost exclusively.

Our man was asked this evening, what about his first one hundred days suprised, enchanted, humbled and troubled him the most, on live television. He answered adroitly, compassionately and honestly. This is the kind of question that would never even be allowed under the Dumbya regime. Were such a question somehow allowed to slip through, trust that Dumbya would have stuttered, paused and visited abuse of malapropisms to hitherto unseen depths of national embarrassment.

He’s a primate at best.

His eyes are too close together.

I couldn’t help but remember Clinton. He would appear on television in the middle of our dark years and answer any question by framing it’s context, explaining the variables and then recommending a course of action so expertly that you knew he’d wrestled with it until he understood the issue thoroughly and had arrived at a solution that he grasped completely and had no reservations about endorsing. The man was flawed but he was whip fucking smart and he gave a shit. He was a lighthouse in the dense fog of Dick-in-Bush.

First 100 days? I’ll give Obama a B+. Not bad for his first semester midterm. About what I expected and I’m pleased. My biggest concern is the financial swamp thing. I can’t really pretend to understand it. It goes without saying I don’t have an opinion worth sharing. I will tell you that the more I learn and understand, the more I wonder about moving somewhere I can have a garden.

Those fuckers left us hanging. Cheney won’t shut the fuck up and neither will Rove but have ya heard from Dumbya? The barn door was banging at the start of the storm when those three bastards ran out. Man they were bad news.

Say our man gets us to 911 of this year without a domestic terror attack of similiar scale. Will you then shut the fuck up about your keeping America safe audacity? Allow me to date myself by saying you people sound like a broken goddamn record.

Some advice. The sky has been falling for some time now. You just looked up. You just noticed it could really crack you hard. By the way, if you did just notice all this, part of this is your fault. So anyway, settle down.

What we really need is for you mouthbreathers to be calm. Don’t stir shit up. Try not to shoot fellow humans. Stop turning out like zombies for corporate lobby funded tax protests when you’ll all do better under what you’re marching against. Have some dignity. Pull your pants up.

More of my advice to you is to wade back in. Forego ideology and sincerely look at what progressives are attempting to do here. Find fault with the policy or find flaw with the process. Stop dropping the ‘socialist’ bomb and find a way to participate. Start rolling up your sleeves and stop crapping your pants.

Hannity and Limbaugh are the clown princes of the conservative stagnation and they will be your demise.

Drinks for my friends.

My epiphany smacks of *gasp*, socialism and radicalism.

It’s pretty out there. As a concept, I mean.

Here we go.

Why not implore, nay, beseech those who have benifitted so lavishly from America’s free market economy to pony up some filthy fucking lucre? Why not? Tell me that the collective benificiaries of golden parachutes, exorbitant severance packages and stock options et al. aren’t clutching bags and satchels of liquid capital that could go a long way towards remedying this consummate financial malaise.

Tell me. Why not?

Sumner Redstone, Rupert Murdoch, Bill Gates and all their kooky country club cronies. Tiger Woods, Michael Jordan, Don Henley and Garth Brooks. Mel Gibson, George Clooney, Matt Damon and Jay Leno. Hannity, Limbuagh and Olbermann. Stwart, Colbert and that guy in the Mac commercials. Letterman.

Lotsa these guys are already philanthropic. Together, our overpaid celebrities, athletes and CEO’s could go a long way towards solving this. That is of course, if they are true patriotic Americans.

All of the aforementioned and thousands of others are going to be just fine regardless of the way the bail out is structured or who wins this election. Little, if not nothing, to lose.

What say you elites?

I mean to say, if you care at all about the normal workaday citizens who put all that money in your pockets in the first place.

After all, the dramatic shift in the concentration of wealth is at the root here, a phenomena as culpable as any impropriety or outright fuckery. It was unsustainable. No way was it gonna fly for very long at all. Many of you have been on the tit for way too long.

Most of you.

Put that chunk of their wealth into a fund for the people. An institution created for the sole purpose of helping average Americans to keep a roof over their heads and maintain the ability to feed and clothe their children. It’s not socialism if it’s not a government mandate. It’s profoundly American if they choose to share their good fortune and give back to a society that has made their success possible in a world that otherwise may have excluded them.

Not subversive in any way, as long as the institutions recieve not a single red penny. Could be a complex bureaucracy, but not if you let me run it. Trust me to rock that shit.

By the way, Doubtfire put his giant vagina in full view today after recieving a phone call from Our Man seeking cooperation for a joint statement this morning. In a shallow attempt at one-upmanship, McCain announced this afternoon his intention to suspend his campaign to devote his limited energies towards the economic crisis. He also requested tomorrow night’s debate be postponed.

Fumble.

Look at my thumb. Gee, you’re dumb.

A blatant and obvious attempt by a man losing serious ground, to wrest attention away from his atrophy by waving a needle full of politics, Presidential politics, at the most serious financial issue America has faced since the Great Depression. John McCain is a cowardly, opportunistic douchebag.

In all seriousness and with all due respect, the harbinger is no longer that. Doom is in the front yard. We are here. The wolf is just outside the door. We can neither come or go. Understand that homeless people will no longer be an exclusive fixture of metropolitan areas. We are flirting with soup kitchens and tent cities are already a burgeoning reality. People are about to suffer in ways most of of us have never witnessed. This is bad.

It bears pointing out that before Dick-in-Bush usurped power, we had an actual surplus and things were no less than rosy. I remind you of the painfully obvious, the entire state of the union is completely fucked. My uncles proud men all, Republicans all, must answer the question. They owe me a reasoned explanation as to how and why they intend to give these idiots one more chance.

An alcoholic has stolen from your wallet, your wife’s purse, set the house on fire and provided illegal drugs to your children. Do you still open your arms to him for Sunday dinner? Loan him twenty bucks?

Maybe you do because he’s family. You certainly don’t hand him the keys to your car, much less the goddamn universe.

You know what? America, a once proud, prosperous and generous nation is on the verge of collapse. Chaos. Lawlessness. You think Iraqis went full tilt boogie once the rule of law was removed? Wait ’til you see Americans in action when there’s no gas, no food, no infrastructure and no rule of law. What happened in New Orleans will be a microcosm and will look Fisher fucking Price in retrospect.

Dumbya swore as late as March and McCain as late as last week that the fundamentals of the American economy are sound. For any of you who still buy that, good luck. You’ll soon be on your own.

No matter what, this will be ugly. Vulgar even. No miracles, unless the fruit of my epiphany somehow busts forth with a froth of delicious and copious juice. We all understand how unlikely that is. We are fucked. It’s important to remember who fucked you.

All that remains is to choose the right man to captain our ship through violent seas. McCain has never steered a ship and he’s crashed at least four planes.

Drinks for my friends.

Cone of silence.

This is asinine.

Sarah Palin in New York meeting with world luminaries, glistening and tarnished. I can’t believe this crap. At first, the McCain campaign (Insane in the Membrane), insisted no reporters be allowed to accompany the cameras. When the networks balked, they relented, but any questions or participation were strictly forbidden.

They’re so afraid she’ll spell potato with an ‘E’.

Not only is it insulting and unprecedented, it’s quite possibly sexist.

Since when is the press prevented from asking a single question of a candidate who would be President in a matter of months?

How can anyone possibly trust this ticket, much less it’s choice for Assistant Manager?

Now we learn that she allowed for a twenty four million dollar road to be built to the bridge to nowhere that was never built. It’s literally a dead end. A sign at the beginning says “No Outlet”. I understand the contract for the road was signed before What’s Her Name took office. Despite that, it’s enormously difficult to believe that a sitting Governor could not prevent the construction of a twenty four million dollar road that would serve no purpose whatsoever.

There’s even a paid employee to collect tolls on the road to abruptness. A road no one uses because it terminates at no actual destination.

How does three miles of asphalt cost twenty four million?

What did she do with the other couple hundred million?

Sheezus.

I am so sick of watching what was once the largesse of America’s middle class being squandered to increase the larders of those who don’t need it or deserve it. Again, to be fair, Democrats are nearly as guilty as their counterparts.

“ANCHORAGE, Alaska (CNN) — The legislative investigation into Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin’s firing of her public safety commissioner needs to go ahead despite the increasingly heated opposition of the McCain-Palin campaign, a leading Republican said Tuesday.

Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin is being investigated for the possibly improper firing of a state official.

Since becoming the Republican vice presidential candidate in August, Palin has halted her previously promised cooperation with the Legislature’s investigation of the July dismissal of Public Safety Commissioner Walt Monegan.”

Yeah, I just puked in my mouth a little.

I said before, can’t see her when she turns sideways because she’s two dimensional.

It’s interesting. Tonight I was talking to a very close, old friend on the phone. You bond when you make records together.

Anyway, we arrived at what is perhaps the most important difference between Republicans and Democrats. Harry Reid, US Senate Majority Leader and a family friend; his first bid for the Senate was my first campaign. I was nine. He’s really disappointed and pissed me off since he became Majority Leader. My friend mentioned Nancy Pelosi, Speaker of the House, and shared similiar disdain. We were in agreement.

Even our own cross lines we’re not comfortable with. They screw the pooch and they know it. We let them know.

Therein lies the rub. Republicans march in identical boots. They are far less likely to objectively evaluate legitimate criticism and even less able to actually oppose anyone belonging to the party. It’s infantile. Handicapped. Irresponsibly unconditional. Whores on crack.

The very foundation of their entire belief system is built with bricks of compliance, obedience and and a brand of piety as mortar that is potent and toxic and very strong.

Hardcore Republican Bible abusers are America’s biggest cult. The world’s most notorious and effective terrorists.

Fuck me, I just called religous folks terrorists.

But, um, yeah. Catholic vs. Protestant. Christian vs. Muslim. All of them against gays and half of them not affording women equality. It’s gone on for far too long.

The shit we get away with in the name of Christianity is astounding. The term Bible is intended more generically here. I’m talking about it’s ubiquity. Any religion that views a single tome as it’s covenant to judge and chastise the world because the bible tells them so is goddamn foolish. Fucked in the head.

Forgive the tangent but at least it’s germane. I’m thinking it’s time for a new nickname. Sarah The Pagan? A Pentecostal for thirty four of her first thirty eight years. I don’t claim to understand this particular theological bent but I know enough to tell you it can get pretty weird. They speak in tongues.

Pundits have been saying for weeks that we need to stop paying so much attention. She’s not worth it. She’s a distraction. That’s all true. Until today. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, as of today, she is meat. She’s been the GOP VP nominee for how many weeks now and she still hasn’t answered a single question?

Rick Plank says: Fuck that shit.

There was one interview. Charlie Gibson looking professorial and Ben Franklinesque. Pretty revealing. He wasn’t throwing softballs and allowed her to make a fool of herself. It was too subtle for the great unwashed as He probably had to leave his penis at home on a condition set by Doubtfire. I’m guessing he was angry he didn’t have his penis. He had yard after yard of muscular coils of rope for her to gag on.

Now that’s fucking sexist, bitch!

She showed up on Hannity. Anyone who would reference her performance at that venue in a positive way would have to be a complete shitsmear. Seriously people, don’t be trying to bring that kinda shiznit for my nizzle. I can’t believe I just wrote that. Wonder if I’ll leave it. You may never know.

I’ve decided to leave it to discourage you from taking me too seriously. I am not an Atomic Playboy. I do not fraternize with women of ill repute. There’s a decent chance I know things you don’t. That’s not to say you don’t know things I’m completely unaware of.

Stay with me. Stay on the motherfucker.

Drinks for my friends.

Bitches.

Still in the full body condom, America’s moose gutting mom avoids engaging the media like the kid in the Casper costume glimpsing the gang of Metallica wannabes drinking beer and leaning against a Camaro after midnight on all hallows eve. Nose running. With a fuckin pillow case full of The Kind.

She’s afraid and so is the campaign. The polite term is neophyte. The accurate term is wolf slaughtering doe in the headlights.

I hear the next official media exposure will be a gritty, no holes barred interview with Sean Hannity. What we have here is the body condom, a net, some matresses and a fucktard. Sheezus. If Americans are actually this dumb, how does bread end up on the shelves? Produce?

“The fundamentals of the American economy are sound”, now watch while I coin this phrase.

The Malfeasance of Idiocrasy.

That’s really the salient argument here. The catastrophe that keeps giving. We’ve gotta half a billion dollar a day war addiction and the banks are dropping like flies. Big ones. The biggest ones. People are dying.

The Malfeasance of Idiocrasy.

I heard tonight the housing debacle will begin to heal early next year. Bullshit. America has a chronic and potentially lethal fiscal disease. Picture liver and kidney failure.

There is a cure. Might be too late though.

The housing conflagration was merely the first obvious symptom. Pretty nasty boils, but a symptom nonetheless. Not unlike those carbuncles from my last blog. These knuckes of flesh will still be festering and oozing after first thaw.

The disease is another matter. I’m here to talk about the part of the disease that is pure, blind hubris. It’s name is Sarah Palin and she doesn’t know shit. That is exactly why she thinks she can do this, because she doesn’t know shit. She has no fucking idea where she may be allowed to walk.

You’ve got be fucking kidding me.

She’s under investigation, she’s ducking subpeonas. Half the women in her state loathe her. This is ridiculous. The top of their ticket is seasoned, albeit bitterly, and the bottom is a blowhard. She shouts less than nothing. She lies. Bridge To Nowhere anyone? ANYONE? Earmarks, Bueller, Bueller? The plane, the plane? Tattoo?

It’s a goddamn joke half of us are too stupid to get.

Americans are astonishigly stupid.

Know what really chaps my ass? The drooling, sewage vomiting, talking head Republicans. They just make shit up. I’m constantly asking myself how they can sit through makeup etc. and appear on camera fully prepared to utter the words that manifest into sentences and then paragraphs of such transparent, wholesale, sociopathic lies.

Yes, I understand we do it too. It bothers me. I offer this caveat: my side is rarely, if ever as audacious and never as vicious as the Republicans. Have you seen them go after each other? For what it’s worth, my side is not exclusively Democratic, they are always independent thinkers.

Republicans routinely push the envelope of decency and consistently push past the bounds of common sense. Always beyond reprehensible. No ethical imperative. No moral compass.

The Malfeasance of Idiocrasy.

Drinks for my friends.

I say without equivocation, certainly without apology, Bill Maher rocks. His show, the format, the concept and the man. New Rules is consistently brilliant. No exception tonight. And it’s entertaining. Wow.

I understand he’s an arrogant bastard. Oh well.

How much my perception and enthusiasm have to do with the fact there was only one douchebag on the panel and he was an authentic douchebag? I just can’t say.

Toss him some government cheese for pointing out how absurd it was for Tenet to get the Presidential Medal of Freedom. Snatch it from him for neglecting to mention Franks and Bremer.

The graph and measure of my fanhood for Janeane Garofalo is far from pretty, but she was on like a pyrex bong. Smarter and more aggressive than the aforementioned douchebag, a journalist for the Wall Street Journal named John Fund. No shit, that’s his name. Get it?

She described Republicans, using the example of the RNC, as unrestrained id that throws red meat out for the dopes. That’s hot. She also shouted, “that’s such unbelievable bullshit”. It matters not at all what she was talking about. She bared teeth and drew her sword.

This guy Fund smiled an idiot smile, obfuscated and attempted to patronize and condescend until the bell. He came off, despite his best efforts, precisely like a douchebag.

Bill brought in Roseanne at the end. She was shrill, opinionated, sarcastic. aggressive and completely on the money. Absolutely right.

The show opened with Paul Begala explaining to us that what Axlerod and Our Man have been doing is similiar to that scene in Braveheart where Mel Gibson is telling his men to hold. Hold. Hold……..and then he lowers his sword. The Scots commence to open a giant keg of whoop ass on the English. These are my people you know. My ancestors.

I hope so.

This race will be far more entertaining, maybe even more aesthetically rich and dense like cheescake, satisfying like sushi and beer, if Begala is right. I hope so, because it’s also absolutely necessary. I’m over being the pussy party. Outsmart them and hand them their asses too.

Tired, tired, tired of this shit.

Salman Rushdie bats a good clean up and Maher fields the ball whenever Fund gets his bat on it. A couple times, Maher fired it back hard from the infield and hit the smug prick in the mouth. He kept his composure, still it was gorgeous.

Roseanne walked on at the end to throw nothing but beanballs. She only shut up for Bill and spent the rest of her time throwing hard at the douchebag’s head. This too, was gorgeous.

After this week’s media, I welcome the actual pummeling of any mealy mouthed conservative with a cartoon fucking grin. Every successful Republican has one of those unrealistically false grins. Imagine Romney or the rictus on Guilliani. Like they’re drawn on. Like a cartoon. Except Cheney. He hasn’t actually smiled since his late twenties, when he learned to masturbate. Prick.

All four heart attacks, he was found with pants around ankles, both hands on his johnson. Darth’s pet name for his trouser twninkie is Lyndon Baines. I made this last part up.

Maher’s point about cynicism being when you say shit, despite knowing better than the dumb people, you still say it because the dumb people will buy it and they can get you elected, made me somewhat tumid. I couldn’t agree more. Tumescence.

What’s happening here is a collision between the smart and the stupid. A clash brought on by the profound differences in our candidates. Both ideologically, and how they are perceived as people. How people identify with them. The bright and the dim.

Methinks it’s a jacked up set of circumstances.

How much does that suck? The good fight is for the hearts and minds of the willfully ingnorant and the garden variety dipshits. Shameful, and not only because it’s never been won solely with truth and honesty. Yet it hasn’t. Ever. There’s just too goddamn many of them. The ignorant, the willfully ignorant and the masses unclean. They don’t read and they pay only passing respect to awareness.

The righteous rarely prevail in contemporary American politics because of the naivete of adhering to and believing in, justice, honor and integrity.

As I write this, the evil bastards are competing and maybe winning by ignoring the issues save to lie about them. I’ve seen this my entire adult life. I read conservative blogs, watch Hannity and listen to Limbaugh. I know precisely how they do it. If I’m not able see a few moves ahead, I know where to look. I seek the words of the intellectually irresponsible.

Why can’t the good fight do this? Why won’t they? Doubtfire is as dirty as a pig and Palin is the lipstick. Our Man pointed it out on Letterman.

I think what’s been missing here is a willingness to throw hands. Kerry sucked and Gore wasn’t much better. They both rolled around till the Republicans found the wet spot. Either one of the Clintons will kick an ass if given the chance and that’s why they have been so successful. They will light you up just to remind you. When a Republican begins to spit they know to make a fist. Far from perfect these two, but there are lessons to be learned under even the smallest of stones.

Billary are still the biggest boulders in the Democratic party.

Put them out front as shock troops if they agree. They will. Our Man and his people need to take notes. I’d hate to see the most important election in the history of this country decided by the party most willing to punch balls. Yet it’s at least a requisite factor in any modern campaign strategy. Be ready and willing to swing straight for the sack.

I’m not seeing enough of this from my side. I smell vagina. I smell kittens, tofu and arugula, sauvignon blanc and a mild gorgonzola. Our stereotype sucks. Rednecks are known for a willingness to throw down. A liberal would then get a restraining order and sue the redneck. I know, I’m a liberal.

We need to start swinging, because this shit is fucked up and idiots aren’t bad people, they’re just idiots.

Back burner defense, get offensive. Get in faces. Palin and McCain are plenty vulnerable and they clearly don’t know shit about defending themselves. They are wide fucking open. Ducks in repose.

Don’t be afraid to punch the mouthy hick in the balls. You can’t change his mind so attempt to disable him.

I imagine Doubtfire has a handle on this kinda fuckery after 2000. I think he was most seduced by the concept of ‘attack with fuses burning’. Preemptive without regret. The Bush Doctrine. He’s not so stupid as to not understand the size and fierceness of such sociopathic apparatus the evil empire has at it’s disposal.

You know, he’s hired every one of them that visited it upon him back then.

He knows the machine. It ate him. Crapped him out. Now he’s it’s bitch all over again. Unfuckingbelievable.

Tell me you can’t see it.

With Palin, the seduction of McCain is complete. It is done. He has compromised the last of his values. He’s no longer worth a goddamn nickel.

Can’t you tell?

The good news is, both of these flowing like menstrual carbuncles are spectacularly vulnerable from the rear. Doubtfire has been penetrated before but it’s been eight years and they work for him now.

Time for fists. Vulnerable from the rear.

Drinks for my friends.