Archive for the ‘Prostitution’ Category

Did ya guess I’m furious?

Where exactly does the rub lie you ask?

I’m a little at a loss for words here.  Don’t worry, it won’t last.

Heh.

It’s just that this is so important.  In a country as wealthy as ours, health care is not a privilege, it’s a right.  Fuck me, every living being deserves it.  How embarrassing that far poorer nations are getting it?  Until we can make it available to us and for us equitably and fairly, how can we even advocate for it with a straight face for anyone else?  It’s moral and ethical and shouldn’t be political but it is and that’s just ugly.  Fucking disgusting.  The very idea that it’s being debated in our corridors of power just confounds me.  We have the money and the resources and everyone wants it.

We stood up against the Nazis and humiliated Japan.

For this most humane of causes, we battle our own.  We fight those elected by us to advance our very best ideas, interests and needs.  The fight for what we deserve is with our own alleged democracy.  They mock us by allowing it to even be a contest.  What is right is clear.  What we expect is obvious.  Why they represent us is clear.  What we want is clear and still, the outcome is in question.

You inglorious fucking bastards.

Ahem.

We’re talking about the public option amendments proposed by Chuck Schumer and J. Rockefeller today before the Senate Finance Committee in the precipitously spectator friendly fight for health care reform.  Note to elected reps, you’re being watched.

Okay, I understand this is the first authentic punch in this fight.  I’m well aware that it was meant to be ceremonial; a shot across the bow if you will.  Schumer and Rockefeller admitted as much.  Both amendments pretty much went down in flames.  The reckonings were 15 opposed to 8 and 13 opposed to 10.  Chuck was all smiles for the post game, saying that they did better than he’d anticipated and momentum is building.  I’m a little lukewarm on Schumer but I admit to having a soft spot for him.  His assessment is likely more cogent and certainly better informed than mine.

Pisses me off when he defends Baucus though.  Shumer wishes they weren’t running those ads.  Buacus is a pawn and an officious prick.  He deserves it and we’ll be talking about it here in a minute.

Here’s what chaps my ass.  Max, four million bucks in campaign contributions from big pharma and big insurance, Baucus.  After a suspiciously protracted process of negotiation, Baucus puked up a bill so lame, so transparently in favor of not just maintaining the status quo but adding bulkhead after bulkhead to protect and enrich insurance companies at the expense of the common American,  I’m simply in awe anyone in what was once the world’s greatest deliberative body can pretend to take him seriously.

I harbor dark oozing contempt for this man.

Let me give you an example.  His bill mandates that every American, regardless of income level, purchase health insurance.  Any American citizen who does not not purchase health insurance would be subject to a fine.  Either way, whether an individual buys in or not, monies for premiums or penalties for not buying in, go directly to health insurance corporations.  No reach around, just straight up cash.  All it does is give access to the money of the forty or fifty million uninsured to the insurance industry they haven’t otherwise been able to get their hands on.  Needless to say, without a public option to foment reasonable competition for rates and service, his bill is nothing less than a totalitarian dictate to further enrich an industry that has been ripping off the average American for decades.

Max Baucus really sucks.

Max tells us today on national television that his job is to deliver a bill that will garner sixty votes on the floor of the Senate.  Bullshit.  Where is that written?  Where does it say that his job as chairman of the Senate Finance Committee is to do anything but deliver a fair and equitable bill in the best interest of his constituents and as committee chair, a bill that reflects the will of 65% of the American people?  Just what is with this sixty fucking votes thing?  It’s absurd.  It takes fifty one votes to pass a bill.  Sixty votes guarantees cloture and therefore prevents filibuster.  But it only takes fifty one votes to pass a goddamn bill and there are sixty of you spineless bastards.

The Democrats are so terrified of fillibuster they won’t bust a move without being able to prevent it?  So what?  Make the filthy Republicans actually filibuster.  Bring some sandwiches a cot and a laptop loaded with porn.  Have your aides set up a tent if you need to spank it.  Pretend you’re at the DMV.  Outlast them if it’s something you believe in and it’s the right thing for the American people.  You ARE the majority you know.  This is a walk in the park.

Why, why, why do the Democrats insist on being such pussies?  I’ll tell you why.  Because so many of them just as shamelessly beholding to the same forces as Baucus.

Procedurally, if Democrats stand together, they have enough votes to prevent filibuster on specific amendments.  What is the goddamn problem?  This is doable.  We have a majority in congress because the people have spoken.  65% of Americans favor a public option.  Between the congressional majority and the overwhelming majority on the part of the electorate, we have what I like to think of as a motherfucking mandate.

Fer fuck’s sake, do the math you retards.

It’s no secret that during the last decade profits have rocketed towards what Baucus and friends intend to be an apogee, while service, care and the number meaningfully insured has cratered below sea level.  Absolute power corrupts absolutely and dickheads like Baucus don’t give a mad fuck about being re-elected because his next gig will be with the very cabal of ruthless, greedy swine he’s now representing instead of the interests of the people who elected him.  The same can be and is said by me for Kent Conrad, Blanche Lincoln, Bill Nelson and Tom Carper.  Spineless, greedy sycophants all of them.

Cowardly inchoate vaginas that are looking forward the next cush gig.  Man, I hate these guys.

There is nothing wrong with prostitution as far I’m concerned.  It’s a contract, a transaction between two consenting parties.  You want to fuck for money?  Have at it.  Baucus however, is a filthy, disease ridden whore.  His entire reason is to let someone else screw you without your consent and get paid by them and you simultaneously.  He wouldn’t do it if it hadn’t worked so far.  How’s that make you feel?

Sucker.

He thinks you’re stupid.  He underestimates you.

Maybe.

Sucker.

Like I said in my last blog, shave a few points off defense spending, end the reprehensible, ineffective and exorbitant War On Drugs  and we’ll be swimming in cash.  Health care will be an “oh yeah, let’s do that” kinda type a deal.  Free cable and comic books for everyone.  The return of $4.99 buffets and all you can eat breakfasts.  We’ve got plenty of money, we’re just really stupid.

Sucker.

And for the record, fuck Roman Polanski.  He gave drugs and alcohol to a thirteen year old girl and raped her.  If I believed in hell, I’d advocate for him to roast on a spit there.  Guess I’ll have to settle for throwing the prick bastard in prison, introducing him to Big Jim Slade and tossing the key.

If more Americans believe in UFOs than oppose a public option, where does that leave me?

Drinks for my friends.

Make that naive.

This race for President is what they call a statistical dead heat. Scary. My mind tells me this is to be expected. Most of the electorate are just beginning to pay attention. This scares me too.

They have almost completely assimilated Our Man’s message of “Change”, even after they made fun of it. It’s not a wafer thin slice of deli meat, not even an RCH short, of equal parts creepy and awesome. So depressingly illuminating. Proof that it doesn’t take much too fool some of the people all of the time. Proof that there’s an assload of them.

Same thing they did with patriotism.

I’m having a lazy day so expect nothing above the level of ad hominem, grandiloquent, fucking pomposity.

I gotta tell ya, this shit is ridiculous. Sarah Palin has not strayed from the script by so much as a misplaced pause. They were going to let her play with others on her own starting tommorrow but they understand two things. Not only is she way too short on experience and knowledge of any kind, but there’s enough stupid people in America lusting to hear the same goddamn thing she says every night, word for retarded word, over and over while they languish in their adult diapers.

Bonus, they hang around for Doubtfire.

I’m not here to pretend I’m confused or shocked. I’m thoroughly cognizant of how many mouth breathing, God fearing, dogmatically handicapped there are among us. It feels like the majority.

I’m not here to abandon hope. I’m still convinced our ticket will prevail. It has to. I’m not kidding when I say the future of the human species depends upon it.

Somehow, I retain optimism.

Here’s the deal. Just because they’re stupid doesn’t mean they can’t be manipulated by the forces of good. Proof they are infinitely malleable is the Darkside’s easy exploitation of millions by fear alone. Nothing says they won’t respond to logic and compassion.

It could happen. Regardless of whether it’s possible, it must come to pass. It must be.

What I’m trying to say here at the risk of sounding way too rah rah, is that it’s time for every single one of us to do something. Donate, volunteer, talk to your friends, intimidate your neighbors, staple bumper stickers to the heads of the great unwashed. Have parties. Get hookers and strippers to get other hookers and strippers involved. Recruit. Convince and pummel if necessary. Don’t be afraid to throw hands if they get snide on ya. If they’re like that, it’s a lost cause.

Try to hum the Star Spangled Banner to yourself and be sure to show good posture in administration of your duties as a member of the brighter side of things. Be positive and cheerful. Smile. Show them you care.

We always make the mistake of focusing on the fact that there’s so many idiots out there. Nevermind that it’s sad but true. Understand that if they are engaged in a way that smells good to them, they’ll respond with enthusiasm. Barbecues work and so does booze.

Don’t forget less than savory women and cocaine.

The challenge you face is not winning over the mentally disadvantaged, that which you face is about you and your willingness to see this bud of hope flower. To hold it in your hands as it blooms, feeling it’s soft petals strain against your palms and fingers.

That’s what you can expect if you believe.

I am here tonight to implore you elite and sophisticated pricks to take arms. Coddle, cuddle, convince, cajole, coerce, cudgel and calumniate. Do your best and then your worst. Let them know you’re not here to fuck around. Take charge and blame everyone else if necessary.

GO FORTH

Drinks for my friends.

Kentucky and Oregon vote tomorrow. She’ll take the hillbillies, he’ll take the hippies. The song remains the same, but our man edges ever closer and she can’t do the math.

At least she shows these days without handfulls of odiferant fecal matter/compost. No cheap shots lately. She understands she needs to stop being a vicious unethical bitch, bat her eyes and bring a nice bottle to dinner if she’s gonna get a juicy cabinet post or be prospected for assistant manager.

Warren Buffett, evil man and also the world’s richest, endorsed Senator Obama today. You don’t get to be that rich without blood on your hands. Bill Gates is doing everything he can for extra credit. Has he endorsed yet?

Ok, good. You know the most senior member of the US Senate and former “Exalted Cyclops” of the kkk, Robert Byrd endorsed our man today. Uh, both weird and cool. Kinda big too. I respect Mr. Byrd, despite his past.

Endorsements I’d like to see:

1. Colin Powell

2. David Letterman

3. Is there a union, besides MENSA for smart people who pay attention? If so, them.

4. Bing Crosby and Bob Hope. Despite being dead, they could sway a number of dumb old white people.

5. Oprah. Wait.

6. Gene and Paul from KISS. They connect well with the mullets. We need them.

7. The Beastie Boyz. Tremendous Jew factor.

8. Lee Majors. More mullets and lots more stupid people.

9. Cronkite still alive?

10. Furnell Chapman. He’s black too. Excellent toupee.

11. Bob Dole.

12. Big Jim Slade.

13. The tide. Wait. The ocean and the moon.

14. The Big Lebowski.

15. Brainspank. Wait.

16. Is there a union for really stupid people besides the NRA?

17. Who’s got a mint?

18. Any remote test facility.

19. Kraft. Cheese. Any Kraft product with cheese.

20. True Blooded.

It is time for the pantsuit to walk. She’s a deficit to the campaign for a Democratic Whitehouse. She flirts with absurdity and her butt looks big cause her ass pockets are stuffed with opprobrium. Take a goddamn pill, you’ve made your point. We see through you. Take a walk lady. Take a goddamn walk. Pull the fork from your back and take Big Bad Bill to an island somewhere. Get drunk and hoover him. Call Chelsea. Take pictures.

Come back and work like the demon you are for our man. Turn Bill and Chelsea loose. It’s the right thing.

Just do it.

Anyone remember Bella Abzug?

Drinks for my friends.

A rambling response to my friends blog. PhatShady

Careful with the opiates my friend.

It is a fascinating post. If prostitution is the world’s oldest profession then perhaps slavery, in one form or another, is mankind’s oldest way of life.

Without question, America would not be the economic and military powerhouse it is today, even in it’s current wobbly state, without the broken backs of just about every color.

Look at what we did to Native Americans.

The Irish an the Italians suffered under some pretty brutal discrimination in the 19th century in America. The Irish for example, were simply here to escape poverty and a famine in their own country.

They got drunk. They were unemployed. Bastard children. The rest of America loathed them.

Long story short, forgive my brevity here, light skinned immigrants have gradually but steadily been able to integrate into American society and culture. If your skin is a different color, or your features are demonstrably different from the anglo saxon/protestant, you know, norm? Here in the melting pot? Well, the whole thing moves way slower. As we speak, it’s still a century behind in some ways and spectacularly so in some places.

I think it’s kinda funny and absurd that idiot Romney has the temerity to call Reverend Al a bigot. Boy, that was dumb. And yeah, I think Al was going after mormons. To be completely honest with you, I enjoyed it. I give him a pass. The church of latter day saints has, at least in recent history, been racist by way of DOCTRINE.

So I say, fuck ’em.

I’ve finally found something that Christopher Hitchins and I can agree on, limey arrogant prick that he is. Religion is toxic. Does more harm than good. Al’s a pentecostal minister. In my mind, much less wierd than the sacred underwear wearers.

And I like Al. I have nothing but disdain for guys like Willard Mitt Romney and Ralph Reed. Methinks they are racist pricks. And insincere. Who names their kid Willard Mitt? Sheezus.

Al’s speech at the Democratic convention in ’04 was a motherfuckin house afire. His great grandfather was owned by the Family of Strom Thurmond. I like Al.

Sorry Phat, got a little carried away.

So anyway. Baseball has been taken over by Latins and South Americans. I got no problem with that. Except the rich white infrastructure. Dumbya had a piece of the Texas Rangers ya know.

Sorry again……………..