I’ll bet he has fresh breath

Last night I discovered the ass end of a smoked turkey
frank in my pre-packaged tub of mediocre guacamole.

I’d left it as a sort of a subliminal gift for myself
the evening before.

When I first removed the lid it appeared like a human
digit. Coulda been a toe.

Then I traveled through time to when I left it there
the night before. How cool am I?

Any way, I gotta dump the shit box, take out some
trash and start some laundry.

You guys want a little rip?

Done kinda. Gotta line the trash can with the Hefty
stretch bag. Love those things, they always last
until the trash chute.

Seems like people are getting friendlier. I doubt
that will last.

Jack In The Box fish & chips are among the best
available. They don’t drop those bastards ’til you
order so there always piping hot. It’s good tartar
sauce and they have malt vinegar. I hardly ever eat
the fries. Worst fries in the industry.

How was your day?

Mine was pretty random. Went to
Chin Chin for lunch. Had shrimp toast, pan fried pork
dumplings, gift wrapped chicken and a glass of
sauvignon blanc. Read about Dumbya. Interesting
book.

I had them wrap up what was left……

The book of course, “Dead Certain” by Robert Draper.
Fascinating in it’s own way. There is less raw meat than I’d anticipated and to be honest, hoped for.

What it seems to be, is an honest and objective account that on the surface is somewhat vanilla. Very little moral estimation on Draper’s part. He walks a beguilingly non- judgemental line.

Draper does reveal both an extraordinarily disciplined administration and an appallingly inept one. In doing so, he lays bare a disciplined and inept chief executive who may not be the puppet the cynical among us believe him to be.

In many ways George W. Bush is a goddamn fool. Most of the ambulatory among us knew this. Yet we are left with the impression that he means well. No real evil in this man, merely a man in far over his head.

Here is a man with a falsely elevated sense of pride and entitlement, bolstered by a gang of sycophants that range from the obsequious to the greedy and right on through to filthy of heart and soul.

He thinks he’s leading effectively.

George W. Bush weeps often, yet otherwise buries self doubt and ethical imperative in a brutal exercise regimen and personal insecurity in a near religious optimism based entirely on candy coated clowns.

He has always been ambitious. He’s still an excellent cheerleader. He would have been far better for America had he stayed in baseball.

There is just as fine of a line between clever and stupid as there is between courage and stupid.

And as I complete this, Bill Clinton appears on a Jon Stewart rerun.

Oh man, this guy is something else.

I’m fresh off CNN and the internet and lotsa Dumbya clips.

The thousand foot cliff of contraposition beams like one of those giant fucking lenses shooting light into the night time pollution at a mall opening.

I don’t care where you stand on Bill Clinton, he is absolutely brilliant. Just how did we end up with unCurious George after eight years of William Jefferson Clinton?

Lucid, engaging, charismatic and sharp as a fucking tack.

Now he’s out there with his old friend and Nobel laureate Al Gore, doing their damndest to save the goddamn world.

Dumbya may not be a bad guy, his family might be pretty nice people.

Whatever. It’s just that despite any of that, they fucking suck.

Oh, and his reign has been at least the worst thing to happen to America since the agrarian age. I mean, his Presidency has been a nightmare of injustice, reckless spending, discrimination, reckless aggression, egregious disregard of the Constitution, secrecy, wiretapping, torture, violent rape and pillage of the middle class……….man I hate these fucks.

Anyway, I just imagined hiring a Saudi Royal to kidnap Ann Coulter and deposit her in a secret prison. I arrive at the undisclosed location and begin teabagging Ms. Coulter. Before long I close off her left nostril with my left index finger and piss up her right nostril with force sufficient to make the horse apple in her throat bob like a superball at the end of a rubber band being whipped by a paddle.

Drinks for my friends.

4 Responses to “I’ll bet he has fresh breath”

  • admin:

    I’m so goddamn chiquita.

  • Well, aside from that scary little bit at the end, and insofar as the people becoming apparently friendlier and the C-in-C being just a dumb, friendly fella – sure; however, perhaps it should be considered that – as your commentary notes – if the current Situation is merely a case of the country being presided by the equivalent of a dopey great dane and publicized by a drag queen with a venemous tongue, while one of the co-creators of the current downturn of American defense policy is out to save the world with yet another jet-setter…

    Um…did I miss anything?

    Well, I got the espresso here, with a fine orange foam going.

    Got some heavy cream, some gold sugar, some white sugar and a bit of Bailey’s.

    I’ll have the simple ‘ccino, but there’s spare if ya want a decent drink 😀

  • Nan:

    Yes, dear Sir…you bellowed? & Here i am.. 😉
    How was my day? Which day is this anyway..it’s been a long 48 i tell ya..eyes have run together..im a frikken cyclops now.

    Ah..the ole digit in the goo fear, eh?
    Smoked turkey..is not far off imho 😉

    *IMHO DISCLAIMER*
    Hrm..how did we end up with monkeyboi? Lemme guess..fixed elections ring a bell? It should..
    Dead folks voted in Record numbers, & that is just for starters..massive voting machines malfunctioning around the country, no one can tell me that was propaganda, cos mine was one of em..i touched the lever, but it voted all on it’s own..Not what i selected. Remember his bro prommising Florida? And..delivering, by denying Untold numbers of people their right to vote, under threat of imprisonment..How about that biotch whatsherface, whom ended up with a brand spanking new cushy job once he was in office..ruling it was all on the upside, so piss off…ring any bells? Soo much more funstuffs happened in both Non-elections..too numerous to count. Bottom line..?
    Election’s been fixed since 1999.
    Ya..party like it’s 1999, cos from then on you are Screwed Blue & tatooed.

    Ohh my gawd…i’m “Dead Certain” this Robert Draper dood has had a lobotomy…smells like apologetic spirit to moi
    Anyone whom believes bush is a warm & fuzzy puppydog has fuzzy shit for brains..have they somehow completely & utterly Missed all the temper tantrums & freakouts in Public? One can only imagine what fun this asshat is in private…
    He;s got a Good stick going here..gleaning Tons of public sympathy..this is how we get lost..Smoke & Mirrors. Whilst they stick us in the back & cut our throats..
    Apologetics, my dear people, will not save you

    Great write!

    Whats the house recommend?

  • You never know. Ann Coulter’s adam’s apple may just be the Keebler Elf trapped in her throat. How did we end up with Dumbya? Apparently, somebody passed us the crackpipe and put a voting ballot in our hand at the same time. The past eight years has been like the morning after someone slipped a roofie in my rum & coke.

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