British Petroleum…….Big Pricks….Big Papa…Bad Parenting….Bug Eyed Pedophiles….big possibilities

I’m somewhat loathe to take this on.


I’ve already written about it once and fairly well forecasted what wicked this way came if I do say so myself.

And it’s not like everyone one else hasn’t been piling on. What’s the use unless I have something new to say, some new devilry to contribute?

I will tell you this and thus reiterate: it is way worse than the media dares to speculate and far more widespread and destructive than you imagine.  This shit is fucked up.

I am a little surprised at just what a vulgar carnival it has devolved into.  As if the tragedy itself does not merit our horror enough, the politicization thereof inspires Grand mal projectile vomiting.  Partisan pricks screeching that the President hasn’t done enough.  Of such pinheads I would merely ask what more would you have him do?  What different?  He was on the scene from the very beginning, long before the obfuscation by BP began to suffer the antiseptic of both sunlight and science.  Understand that this is in no way his fault despite it being most definitely his problem.

Anyone with more than a clump of toxic crude  for an intellect is by now well aware that comprehensive culpability is the exclusive purview of BP, Halliburton, Transocean, Darth Fucking Cheney and the various virtues of avarice.  This, despite shrill exhortations of porcine pundits like Palin, and Limbaugh, that the fault somehow lies with the environmentalists for forcing dangerous oil extraction further off shore.  “Drill bay drill”, you stupid fucking cunts.

Heard this one the other day:  Only an idiot can perceive another idiot as genius.

I’m willing to wager that lipsticked pig Palin fails to realize that any or all domestic oil production does not somehow magically stay within our borders for our exclusive consumption.  No, it goes on the open market to the highest bidder.  Nor would she admit that Deepwater Horizon padded it’s possibilities for production with the same bogus ecological impact studies submitted to her state of Alaska.  They cheated from their very own homework.  I’m not here to write a term paper but understand that the paperwork BP submitted for that very well in the Gulf of Mexico references remedies they would undertake were the walrus population threatened.  Walruses?  In the Gulf of goddamn Mexico?  They would have promised to protect penguins too if they thought it would help their chances.

As I predicted, BP has lied to us with simultaneous shamelessness and fierce diligence.  They lied that there was a leak to begin with.  They lied about the flow, it’s rate, it’s hideous volume.  They lied about the vast underwater plumes.  They lied about the safety, efficacy and consequences of the dispersants they insisted upon using.  They lied about having a fucking clue what to do.  They lied about who’s fault it was and what actually happened.  They’ve manipulated the media, restricted access to fouled beaches and even engaged in search engine fuckery in a blatant attempt to sensor the extent of the worst man made disaster since Chernobyl.

True to form, assholes like Eric Cantor take to the air whining about the counter productivity of Obama making BP into a villain.  He actually lamented Obama’s endeavor to find the right “ass to kick”.  Took issue with the profanity.  That Tea Party jackass Rand Paul has the the stones to posit that it’s “Un-American” for Obama to say he intends to keep his boot on the neck of BP. Boehner, or Representative Agent Orange, had the retarded audacity to side with US Chamber of commerce when it posited that the liability cap of a paltry $75 million not be lifted retroactively.  “I think the people responsible in the oil spill — BP and the federal government — should take full responsibility for what’s happening there,” Boehner croaked.

What a couple of dicks.

This brings us to Bobby Jindal, the once rising star, the great other skin color hope of the Republican party.  No, not Michael SteeleBobby “I hate big government so much I’ll decry and pretend to deny federal stimulus money until I take it and ask for more” Jindal.   Now the little bastard is out of the closet all the way.  Pontificating ad nauseum in public like a chronic masturbator with demands on the federal government and the Obama administration and how the money and the resources aren’t nearly enough.

You know what chaps my ass?  His stock is rising.  His second act in American politics is in full swing as a result of overt politicization of this staggering clusterfuck of a disaster.  Oh, and they’re all pissing and moaning about Obama’s moratoriums on deep water drilling.

To all of them I say:  There may not be an “I” in Team, but there are three “U”s in Shut The Fuck Up.

I saw a clip on Comedy Central today where my hero Lewis Black said something like just because Dumbya is no longer president doesn’t mean idiocy fled the country.  It’s like whack-a-mole he said, you get rid of one and three more pop up.  He also said that the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico means there won’t be any shrimp for your shrimp cocktails you jackasses!  I loves me some Lewis, he likes to throw fossils at creationists.

I love the levity but here’s some gravity.  Barack Obama may just, might could, enjoy a unique opportunity here.  Whence upon a time, the dust will settle, the chattering, nattering class will have shut up and the brackish blackness  from the mesozoic will finally cease to flow from depths to shores, polluting everything in it’s path.  It will come time to mitigate and metamorphose this most heinous of episodes into gorgeous things.  Good things.  Golden things.  This could very well be the catalyst for the best ghost of our human future.  Mr. Obama may just be able to lean on it as an abject example, a final lesson, of greed and recklessness and harness it to steer us in the right direction.

Energy, after all, could and should be free.  Our entire world has been powered by the sun which begat the wind and the waves long before we ever emerged from the primordial soup, tails dragging.  Without the Sun, there would be no oil.  Technology has advanced significantly enough for us to abandon this archaic, insidious and poisonous methodology and embrace the Sun, literally the star of our solar system, in it’s stead.

It’s no secret.  Any scientist or physicist would concur; that awesome, perpetually exploding ball, some 93 million miles away in the sky, is all we really need.  All we ever have needed.  It’s the reason we are here.  It really is that simple.

Children of the sun.

It’s time.  We put a man on the moon with a hundredth of the computing power now available in any given laptop and even some cell phones.

This is big picture stuff and he is a big picture guy.

C’mon Barry.  You can do this.

Drinks for my friends.

37 Responses to “British Petroleum…….Big Pricks….Big Papa…Bad Parenting….Bug Eyed Pedophiles….big possibilities”

  • You are a typical Narcissistic liberal. go drink some wheat grass and get another tattoo.

  • Teck:

    “Only an idiot can perceive another idiot as genius” Si!

    And, you are so right Admin., “Energy, after all, could and should be free. Our entire world has been powered by the sun which begat the wind and the waves long before we ever emerged from the primordial soup, tails dragging. Technology has advanced significantly enough for us to abandon this archaic, insidious and poisonous methodology and embrace the sun, literally the star of our solar system, in it’s stead.”

    Many tried to embrace this concept and empower others with this way of thinking years ago…they even provided a tax break / incentive for those that made the change…until Reagan pulled the plug. My own father was one of those out of the box thinkers. He sold solar panels, wind generators, etc. And, when “HIS” republican president sent Dad’s business spiraling into bankruptcy. Dad blamed it on the democrats…A$$ backward thinking if you ask me. The point is, learn from it, improve the system, and move on people. ENOUGH ALREADY! It’s there, we just need to CHANGE…

    Thanks for lighting the fire and keeping it burning Mike 🙂

  • The Flash:

    While I appreciate hearing all points of view on any subject, you really need to take Obama’s dick out of your mouth first. Do NOT confuse me with someone who has EVER liked The Idiot Dubya or the Porcine Loudmouth Limbaugh, but I understand that this catastrophe has MANY fathers, including Obama himself, who sat on his hands for an extended period of time, trying to figure out, first, how he could make political currency from the tragedy before doing anything. It’s painfully obvious that you’re very young, with little, or NO, real life experience.

    • admin:

      I am 45 years old. I have produced and engineered many records including one that sold nearly four million copies. I’ve also run a wholesale company with annual sales in excess of $10 million dollars. The blog you’re commenting on is authored exclusively by me and has over 200,000 readers.

      Piss up a fucking rope.

      When that proves impossible, try backing your shit up.

      • bloodysot:

        OMG, that was funny. . . typical right wing bs. If you have a care for the environment, or the working poor, or our nation’s standing in the world or healthcare etc, you MUST be a child. . .I am not a child, I have resisted your materialistic get it all and get it now collateral damage be damned attitude. Have a pleasant day!

        Keep up the great work!

      • Celiene:

        That’s telling ’em! 45? That’s young!

    • Solja:

      You really are just wrong. You may not like Dumb Bush but you sure are repeating BS that came from his peons. The U.S. Coast Guard was on the scene during the fire on the oil rig. That fire eventually exploded, killing 11 men and wounding scores. The Coast Guard helped to put the fire out because that’s part of their job in protecting our shores.

      So to dumb it down for you even further, the Coast Guard is a branch of the military, and the military has a Commander-in-Chief, who just so happens to be Barack Obama. They were there, at the fire, on DAY ONE.

      Republifucks have been saying he waited to react because of politics. The thing you clowns don’t get is that he is/was trying to get his agenda done. You know, the stuff he campaigned on? THAT was his focus before the foreclosures, before the jobs were lost, before the economy crashed, before the banks failed, before the car companies failed, before BP killed the Gulf of Mexico, and before everything that Bush touched broke the fuck up into a gazillion pieces… he was all set to give Americans access to health care, create a sustainable energy policy, fix the broken education system, and on and on and on. Every since he’s been in office, he’s been fixing shit that Bush and you dumbfucks broke. Every since he’s been in office, you pricks have been whining and complaining AS IF you didn’t fuck up this country. Get a brain because yours is molded with bullshit fed to you by your retarded clownshits on the right.

  • BIG PISSER! Everyone on my block drives these huge SUV’s. So the destruction of the environment is what their children will inherit, because that is what narcissistic mommy and daddy want, for them. very scary Cheney has endorced Meg “whitey” Whitman for governor of CA. How that going to work, uhm when was the last time this east coast whench worked the big political machine that is CA. I hate T.v., and term papers.
    Our President Barry is going to need a stronger team, he is showing an inability to reign in the destructive powers of these multi national corporations. Really I think that future presidents will need to be individuals that can withstand the threat of asasination by the C. I. Assholes.

  • dennis:

    I guess I’m just another weak minded liberal but I love what you have to say and if there were more like you maybe we could drown out the inane drivel idiots like rushy, becky, and billy(lower case intentional)keep spewing forth, all they know is verbal diareah

    • admin:

      I wonder how making a living lying out your ass works out for ya when you have to sleep at night. My nickname for Limbaugh is The Human Shitsmear, and although I’m not a violent man, he should fear running into me on the street.

  • coffinnail:

    While I agree with some of your views I don’t really see how I would ever be able to back a government such as this ever. Obama will never in my opinion have the back bone to stomach such a say so to stop the corporations from running the country. It’s just another puppet show just like the Bush administration. The only people that are going to suffer from this are the hard working americans and future generations. Also nobody is trying to really truly think ahead with the oil spill disaster. Plankton…anyone remember that? Well that shit makes a lot of oxygen for the world…if we were smart we would be looking for a way to replenish some of the Phytoplankton that we are killing with the oil spill. I mean I drilling there was fucking retarded enough with hurricanes going through there all the time!!! But the warmer climate waters make it a perfect place for the plankton to thrive and ocean currents to carry plankton everywhere else. I’m not a tree-hugger, but, I do care about the world that I leave my children. I don’t want them to have this mess to clean up but, from the looks of things that’s all there will be to leave them. A mess.

    • Michael Douglass:

      I’m not able to disagree with most of what you’ve said. It may indeed be another puppet show but it’s still quite unlike the previous administration. You lose me a little when you delve into oceanic biology but it sounds good. I can’t help but hold my breath for hurricane season. It just might literally rain oil at 150 mph. If what various news agencies are saying is true about leaks in the ocean floor as far as 20 miles away at 20 to 70 thousand psi…’s a fucked up mess no one can fix.

      Man I hate these guys

  • Glad i ran across this web site.Added “British Petroleum…….Big Pricks….Big Papa…Bad Parenting….Bug Eyed Pedophiles….big possibilities | Brainspank” to my bookmark!

  • An excellent read, as always, Mike. 🙂

  • It took the Mexican government 10 months to cap the leaking Ixtoc I. 3 months into the Deepwater Horizon and its beginning to look as bleak.

  • REIYA:


  • Banana Peels:

    I’m quite impressed with your view, Mike. (Bookmarked) It’s really refreshing to read some intelligent ranting with properly placed “fuck’s”, damn’s” and “shit’s”. I haven’t read any other post on this site yet, but I am worried that this forum is just yet another bunch of like-minded people massaging each other in one big perpetual circle jerk, i.e.: HuffPost, getting nothing accomplished. But, I’ll follow along because it makes me feel good!

    • Michael Douglass:

      Well, I certainly hope it’s not anything like that. Thanks for showing up and participating. Welcome to my ravings. There’s a new one on the way.

  • This entire disaster with BP is ridiculous. The amount of crude oil spilling into the Gulf of Mexico sprung up by 1000s of barrels Wednesday right after an subaquatic droid plainly hit the containment cap that has been capturing petroleum from BP’s Macondo well. I wonder how much destruction this entire oil spill is going to cost the sea when it’s all over and done with

  • Hello dude , Why dont u put facebook badge on your site? Because I want to add your fb. Thanks Regards Admin of

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