Archive for the ‘Dick-in-Bush’ Category

The quote:

“[…] and now we have what some are reading as a suggestion that somebody knock off Osama. Um, uh, Obama. Well them both, if we could.”

Convenient that it happened on Fox. Sure.

Do yourself a favor and watch the entire clip for context.

Liz Trotta was speaking colloquially.

I believe what she meant when she used the word “we”, she was speaking as the Pantsuit and intended that she, the Pantsuit, wouldn’t lose much sleep over both Osama and Obama disappearing. Yes, a witheringly dark sentiment, despite my still not believing that Hillary is in fact, hoping for an assassination.

I doubt that she, Liz, was hoping our man would be killed either.

Perhaps I’m naive, but I still prefer my opinion. The Pantsuit stepped on her dick, said something astonishingly stupid and transparently out of touch. The profound disconnect is still very much in place. Further proof that she really does suck.

What I want to talk about is the HBO film that premiered this evening devoted to the two thousand Presidential election. Well done. Well acted. Good production. Can’t go wrong with Kevin Spacey. The guy who played Baker rocked.

“Recount”.

Salt in a wound still open and bleeding. To revisit that vileness and corruption. That dark basement before a dungeon, before a chamber of medieval surgery with screams of subjects without anesthetesia reverberating , was visceral and palpable.

Goddamn disturbing. Man I hate these bastards.

Forgive my drama. As I watched it live in two thousand, I knew we were fucked and that justice had taken a holiday.

To watch it again, seven years and after it turned out to be far worse than I imagined, is not unlike searing hemorrhoids and abrupt, bloody diarrhaea on a a gorgeous Sunday morning when you don’t dare have coffee or a damn muffin.

The mere thought, that this should have been a different conclusion. I shudder. After all we’ve seen and been subjected to, by a man who should never have been king and his mob of the stupid and sinister never allowed to loot and rape at will.

I’m gonna get all cheesy on you and remind you of something extraordinarily important.

ONLY YOU, CAN PREVENT FOREST FIRES.

See what I’m saying?

Did ya hear hear Conyers subpoenaed Rove?

Drinks for my friends.

Every once in a while, a genuinely good thing happens in the world and I find myself smiling. Guess what kind of day today was?

This, after a pretty good day yesterday.

Today the California Supreme Court ruled overwhelmingly that same sex marriages are well within the protection of our state constitution. Keep on rockin the free world. Some pundit mentioned that California was among the first, back in nineteen forty eight, to declare the very same protection for interracial couples.

Look at us. We’re so goddamn chiquita.

A societal fundament.

Big news. A major civil rights victory. Huge.

The Outtake Bistro had the tomato tarragon soup with chicken. I chose to pair it with a blanc de blanc. We started with mixed greens and a miso dressing.

“I was just a little pup
And it was derby day

Was dad and me and darrell
Out in san pablo bay

Taco flavored doritos
And my orange life vest

Dad caught a hundred pound sturgeon
On twenty-pound test

Now he fought that fish for an hour
And a half

Darrell’d say “jump ya sons a bitch!”
And he grabbed for the gaff

When we got him in the boat
He measured six feet long

I was so danged impressed i had
To write a song called

Fish on” -Primus

Then Dumbya, after declaring solidarity for all the troops waiting to die and those who already have, by allegedly giving up being photographed playing golf, opened his dumbass mouth again while speaking to the Israeli Parliament.

It was like a warm buttermilk biscuit on my doorstep. A packet or two of honey and that butter flavored stuff.

This guy is the pointy part of a turd above a white collar and a red tie. What a dick.

In front of The Knesset, in the lamest way one can imagine, he swings a limp pecker with conviction that can only come from some dissociative fantasy based on his dick actually being hard.

For all intents and purposes, he called our man Obama a Nazi sympathizer. Doubtfire waded in like a pasty faced zombie. He shat in his bag and began to explore his nostrils with all fingers.

Rove called the pixilated residence of Darth Cheney pleading for someone to put a leash on the goddamn monkey as he was really hoping to spend his sunset years destroying somebody.

Biden erupted in his inimitable way by saying “This is bullshit. This is malarkey. This is outrageous. Outrageous for the president of the United States to go to a foreign country, sit in the Knesset…and make this kind of ridiculous statement,”

I understand they caught him coming out of an elevator. We likes us some Joe Biden. We likes him more when he’s pissed.

My point is this:

This administration’s foreign policy is a debate any immigrant 7-11 clerk could hand Dumbya, or McCain for that matter, their asses on.

Hey, how’s that not talking to anybody working out for you assholes?

Are you guys aware that your own Secretaries of State and Defense advocate talking to these nations?

Sheezus!

It’s like Darth and Dumbya ride ponies around in the basement everyday playing cowboys and indians. They come up for lemonade and head right back down. Darth stuffs his pockets with moon pies. Dumbya’s got a flask. They’re both on lithium and sleeping in coffins.

I just saw a backlit mystery stream spray a home pregnancy strip and a woman was ejected by her bed to an opulent lobby. TV on but no sound.

Drinks for my friends.

Oh fuck.

Bloodiest month in Iraq since September of last year. It’s Iran’s fault, they tell us. It’s not that the surge is no longer working, they assure us.

It’s that it never did, I assure you.

Stupid idea. Too little. Too late.

A band aid applied with the hope it would staunch the wound long enough for Dick-in-Bush to make a getaway. It was a matter of time until the dam breached itself by an artery that just wasn’t able to contain the pressure of all that blood.

They don’t have another one.

In what may be the cruelest and simultaneously most hysterical whirling dervish of irony I’ve ever witnessed, our nation has an immediate and affordable solution to the shattered back of our fighting force. The numbers are somewhere between twelve and twenty million. It’ll be a little less logistically efficacious if we decide to build that stupid border fence, but still doable.

Just think, we could all sleep a little easier knowing that we’re finally justified in paying them a fair wage as well as covering their medical needs etc.

See, they’d be dying for us while we sleep and have barbecues on Sunday. Well, not us, but the military industrial complex.

Draft the illegals!

I feel comfortable playing the race card.

Not really.

In other news, our Little Bootlicker pissed all over a bill that sought to mandate equal pay for women because he feared the lawsuits that would emerge. Um, isn’t that the point asshole?

Don’t forget, Doubtfire is on record as in favor of permanent tax cuts to the wealthy while we are facing perhaps the worst economic disaster since the Great Depression. Rice is being rationed in America for fuck’s sake. He’s cool with us staying in Iraq for a hundred years and it explains it with the example of our presence in Germany or South Korea.

Anybody remember any American soldiers dying in either of those two countries in combat in say, the last three decades?

Both Shrillary and McCain are in favor of a moratorium on federal gas tax for the summer. Great idea. Profound and inspired despite it’s being another goddamn blatant and pandering populist band aid to demonstrate how they feel our pain.

Never mind the jobs and money lost to our highway and bridge repair infrastructure, it won’t save you shit.

Check the crab in a bucket metaphor from the last blog.

Another suggestion along the same lines would be a mandate that all children, everywhere walk to school. Not even parents can drive them. They must get there under their own power. Can you imagine the money that could be saved?

We should go back to making everything out of wood. Soft drink containers and dashboards and polyester pants for fat people as well as the the stylistically challenged. Lenses and guns and amplifiers. Imagine a wooden computer.

You could safely use Pledge on it.

Why, it’s a renewable resource.

In America, the lights are on, but nobody’s home.

How did we become the stupidest and richest country on earth?

Wait. I know

Lust and greed?

Beer?

Gin!

Tonight on CNN, Michelle Obama said of the Wright controversy, she was finished talking about it. as is her husband, and that the issue would only die when the media diegns to acquiesce. I shouldn’t be allowed to say it after that last sentence but. WORD.

Every once in awhile I wonder if we all aren’t just stupid enough to not realize we are pell mell towards either the sun melting us, or a demise of our own.

Like the sun melting us.

I can see the world on my plasma TV. I communicate with all of you via a MAC. I have hand held devices that I can talk to the world with or control the signals beamed at me from a satellite in orbit.

I don’t see much progress. So far, no big picture shared by a majority of our species. It’s still neanderthal. Set huge fires. Everyman for himself. Get yourself a woman. Bacon is good.

Drinks for my friends.

Yesterday Dumbya, in an earnest impersonation of Alfred E. Newman, told us no worries, we’re not in a recession.

Oil up over one hundred seventeen dollars a barrel. Up from thirty or so under Clinton. You’re all aware, I’m sure, of the mortgage bloodbath. The job deficit. Half a million a minute in Iraq on CREDIT.

Those stimulus checks are on the way. Help you out with that two hundred percent increase at the pump. Yep, help to pay ExxonMobile. Richest corporation in the history of man. Sounds good. Nice little circle of larceny.

It goes on and on.

(CNN) — John McCain’s campaign sent supporters a fundraising e-mail Friday that claims Hamas approves of Democrat Barack Obama’s foreign policy vision, and is hoping for his victory this fall.

I guess there’s some truth to this but for fuck’s sake people, you think they’d put their money on a man like Doubtfire who thinks we can hang around for a hundred more years?

I an upcoming interview on 60 Minutes, Supreme Court Antonin Scalia says of the controversial decision which handed Bush the Whitehouse in two thousand that America needs to “Get over it”.

I hate that prick. You know, he and Darth Cheney are pals.

And once again we are being beaten about the head shoulders with the opinions of Jeremiah Wright. I will point out again, ad nauseam , there isn’t much of what he said that isn’t true. How goddamn sad our man is being impugned by the media for truths he did not even utter.

“In a fiery sermon in April 2003, Wright said: “The government gives them the drugs, builds bigger prisons, passes three-strike laws and wants them to sing God Bless America.”

“God damn America … for killing innocent people.”

“God damn America for threatening citizens as less than humans”

“God damn America as long as she tries to act like she is God and supreme.”

“We have supported state terrorism against the Palestinians and black South Africans, and now we are indignant because of stuff we have done overseas is now brought back into our own backyard. America is chickens coming home to roost.”

“Barack knows what it means living in a country and a culture that is controlled by rich white people,” Wright said. “Hillary would never know that.”

“Hillary ain’t never been called a nigger. Hillary has never had a people defined as a non-person.”

-All quotes from FOXNews.com

You motherfucking tell me what is dishonest or untruthful about any of that. America’s problem is that she cannot handle the truth. Goddamnit and goddman you who would question that. We are a society of cowards, hypocrites and cold calculating reptiles.

On September 18, 2006, Pastor John Hagee — whose endorsement Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) said this past Sunday he was “glad to have” — told NPR’s Terry Gross that “Hurricane Katrina was, in fact, the judgment of God against the city of New Orleans.” “New Orleans had a level of sin that was offensive to God,” Hagee said, because “there was to be a homosexual parade there on the Monday that the Katrina came.”

Now, that offends me and my sensibilities.

Shrillary is ahead in the popular vote if you count Florida and Michigan even though they all agreed they don’t count. That’s her new bugle from atop the hill.

Gimme a fucking break.

Anybody notice we’re not talking about the war?

It’s pretty bad again.

I believe the second and last time I heard my mother say the word “fuck”, her sentence was something like, “We are the best country on earth and we are going to fuck it up.”

The first time had something to do with me not vacuuming the astro turf on the porch in front of the trailer when I was fourteen.

I am in awe. I can’t believe this shit.

You people are as hopelessly gullible as a small gathering of primates. I don’t doubt they’d be embarrassed eventually.

They are ramming this shit down your throats because the only thing that gets you off is to gag on it.

Understand that this is a man who comes from just a slightly different place than most of you and I. That’s a good thing. Just consider, he has already seen what you are about to see and he may just be the man to help you through it. Change must come. It’s only now begun to arrive. The antidote will only come from a man such as this. I don’t see any others, and if you’re smart, you’ll be happy he’s here.

And stop worrying that he’s some sort of Muslim or that he hates America.

Don’t be a damn fool.

Drinks for my friends.

Condoleezza Rice is a Vulcan!

This has nothing to do with the following.

Merely my most recent epiphany. Think she could mind meld with The Horta or do the grip?

Wanna know what I like most about this week so far?

Not much really, it’s been shit, except:

Well, it’s our little Bootlicker. First he fires a missile at Barack about the existence of Al Qaeda in Iraq. Our man swats it down with a yawn, a wink and a grin by pointing out that they certainly had no presence there before we wrongfully invaded.

Duh! Lunch is on us this week. If McCain thinks he’s gonna come out on top on the issue of Iraq with around seventy percent of Americans wanting us the hell out of there………well, I’d like to have his number because I think I’ve got a rusty Ford Pinto he may want to buy.

See, the comedy/irony of it all, is that He intends to do just that.

Buy the rusty Ford Pinto.

He’s running on the war! The Surge! Evil! Brown people!

He’s gonna lose because of that and the economy. He wants to keep those cuts to the wealthy permanent. Sheezus.

This very bitter pill, Doubtfire will wrangle down his gullet with those oversized jowls he’s been developing in anger since high school wrestling. Against Obama, some teeth will likely be the chaser. Poor bastard.

But then, Doubtfire swung hard on Bill Cunningham for ugly and overt histrionics. For mocking and ridiculing our man for the unfortunate coincidence of having the middle name “Hussein”.

McCain said, “My entire campaign I have treated Sen. Obama and Sen. Clinton with respect,” McCain said. “I will continue to do that throughout this campaign.” -Cincinnati Business Courier

Asked whether the use of Obama’s middle name — the same as former Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein — is proper, McCain said: “No, it is not. Any comment that is disparaging of either Senator Clinton or Senator Obama is totally inappropriate.” -Crooks and Liars.

Fuck this guy. If the Bootlicker needs him to win, then the bootlicker is fine with losing. Pretty cool. I like that Doubtfire has no patience with the intolerant. He denounced Robertson and Falwell you know. He called them “agents of intolerance”.

This guy Bill Cunningham, is the epitome of what’s wrong with “broadcast journalism”. He is, one word, a completefuckingidiot. Another word, anachronism. To suggest that Obama’s middle name is somehow even relevant to this Presidential contest and the future of our country, is the worst kind of backward ass, ignorant motherfucking racist and despicable shit I’ve ever seen. Who is this piece of shit? He speaks with the same whack-job vacuous eyes of Zell “spitball” Miller.

Worse than Limbaugh, and don’t you know his big hypocritical ass piled on.

I mean really. You have got to be fucking kidding me.

Kudos and points for the Bootlicker. Incidentally, the reason I’ve given, nay bestowed, the moniker of Bootlicker upon him is his embarrassing and shameless embrace of Dumbya after being mercilessly smeared by Dick-in-Bush and Rove et. al. in two thousand. It was disgraceful. Painful to witness. A maverick indeed.

Well, whatever, he did the right thing the other day and it will cost him. For that, he should be commended. I may go back to calling him sparkplug or maybe even fire hydrant.

Of course, it will further marginalize the neoconservative blowhards on the radio. I wonder if the posse of old white “broadcast journalists” factored that in. For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Toss bags.

Drinks for my friends.

The GOP members of the house had a dilemma today; whether to hold their breath until blue or take their ball and go home. They opted for the latter. The former struck them as bad form. Unseemly. Immature.

See, the Democrats of the same body were pushing to hold the most dubiously qualified Supreme Court nominee in history and replacement for the alarmingly obsequious and chronically full of shit Alberto Gonzales, Harriet Miers, as well as notorious White House crony Josh Bolten, in contempt.

Minority Leader John Boehner said, “We will not stand here and watch this floor be abused for pure political grandstanding at the expense of our national security,”. What a dick. I don’t care how he claims his sir name should be pronounced, looks like BONER to me. BONER became House Minority Leader, replacing DeLay, after that fucktard was indicted.

It didn’t have dick to do with national security.

Miers and Bolten refused to testify before the House Judiciary Committee about the nefarious firing of nine federal prosecutors for not pursuing bullshit voter fuckery against various Democrats. The White House claims executive privilege on their behalf. It is the furthest this brand of smoke & mirror subterfuge has ever been stretched.

White House spokeswoman Dana Perino called the move “a partisan, futile act” that would not be enforced by the Justice Department. -CNN

Full of shit.

The Republicans were whining for the Dems to renew the surveillance bill that allows for immunity from prosecution for the the big telecom plutocrats that illegally cooperated with Dick-in-Bush in the wiretapping of innocent Americans. Yep, Dick-in-Bush don’t want to see them testify because it will conclude with both their corrupt asses being held accountable.

On the spit, maybe.

And therein lies the irony of the rub. The DOJ would be counted on to execute the contempt charges, yet it is the very same bureaucracy at the center of the scandal for the prosecutor firings

This whole thing is unfuckingbelievable.

Man I hate these guys.

Meanwhile, despite the fact that they’ve hated on each other publicly, Guy Smiley endorses Doubtfire while one of the Little Bootlicker’s top advisors, Mark McKinnon, vows to resign if Obama wins the Democratic nomination.

Obama beat Hillary the other day by a vote total of more than McCain actually recieved all night.

She did however, prevail in New Mexico today by a margin so slim her nails still look ok.

Larry Craig stopped dangling today. Yeah, check this. He got a letter today from whatever collection of dipshits appointed to investigate him. Um, The Senate Ethics Committee.

Oh man.

It seems he paid over two hundred thousand dollars in legal fees for soliciting an undercover cop for sex in an airport bathroom with campaign donations. With money that people donated for his re-election. The letter from the committee went on to say they believed he “committed the offense to which you pled guilty” and that “you entered your plea knowingly, voluntarily and intelligently.” -AP

No censure, no call for resignation. Giant spineless vaginas. Check my categories for more on this prick Larry Craig.

What exactly is going on in the Senate? They can’t even publicly decry this piece of shit? Issue a statement saying he’s a jackass and should walk? Under Mr. Harry Reid, the Democrats are goddamn ridiculous.

The republicans are swimming in shit and the wind is blowing it into their pie holes. Right into their faces.

Senate Democrats walk around with mouths wide open in stupidity at the same time.

Drinks for my friends.

Hills has been bracing for heavy weather all day. Well, much longer than that.

Barack Obama.

The Clinton machine fully expected to be holding it’s ass in front of itself by sunset here in the West today.

I know, huh?

What?

The boat of Billary is taking on water.

It’s a big ass boat, she’s begun to toss a few over the rail. Patti Solis Doyle, campaign manager, will be replaced by Mary Tyler Moore. I mean Maggie Williams.

No apologies; no shit, she’s black.

Is it a good idea to have a middle name in the Hillary Rodham Clinton campaign? Oh, and today we hear of the resignation of Deputy Campaign Manager Mike Henry. What of William Jefferson Clinton?

Make no mistake. This is a contemporary dynasty on the ropes. This really is history. Goddamn this is interesting. And compelling and portentous. I hope you people are watching. I hope you’re singing along.

It is nuts. I’m really worried reality TV fucktards will smell how cool this is and start tuning in and voting. Sheezus. With an abruptness so complete it will have it’s own violent sound, The Great Unwashed will stumble to the polls and chaos will be a way of life shortly thereafter and forever.

Sometimes I can’t believe the shit I talk.

Tonight, he’s simultaneously ice blue cool and incendiary. He’s commanding the votes of women, seniors, the youth, rural, suburban, metro and every income demographic. It is amazing. The audacity of hope indeed.

Momentum. Inertia.

Momentum: “force or speed of movement; impetus, as of a physical object or course of events”.

Inertia: “Physics The tendency of a body to resist acceleration; the tendency of a body at rest to remain at rest or of a body in straight line motion to stay in motion in a straight line unless acted on by an outside force.”

Outside force, apparently not factoring in.

He is a human hurricane. Category three and gaining strength.

His speech tonight is in Madison Wisconsin. I made the biggest record of my career in that charming town some twelve or thirteen years ago. I remember thinking how nice everyone was after spending a decade in LA. They were normal and helpful and friendly. I winced when my soon to be rockstar client was rude to almost everyone we came in contact with.

He speaks with grace, humility and power. He owns just exactly where he is.

“Cynicism is a sorry kind of wisdom”, he says. Excellent.

CNN cuts to Doubtfire and I am struck dumb by the contrast.

He says literally nothing, save for threatening that a Democrat will compromise your values, your wallet and your safety. Yawn. Never heard that one before.

The current Republican administration has with brutal and unflinching efficacy, with malice even, harpooned America’s pockets, her pride and the respect and strength she once enjoyed under the global proscenium.

War. War. War. I don’t dislike McCain. He’s had the shit kicked out of him in a way that we simply cannot begin to comprehend. It makes it all the more shameful on his part that he has actually suggested publicly our occupation in Iraq should last a century. For what fuckhead? Oil? If it’s not obsolete by then, the entire world, not to mention the human race, will be facing the end of days.

For a man who’s literally had the shit beaten from him, he is full to bursting with it.

He is right on one thing. It just happens to be a very important thing. Torture. Important, too bad that’s all he’s learned.

His positions and policies on every other vital issue are underthought, intellectually dishonest and bereft of the merest modicum of common sense. Permanent tax cuts for the rich, a war without end……………….

Yes, this man is a dipshit.

Doubtfire, the bootlicker stands not a chance.

The calculus is thus: A man who is in touch versus a man who is out of touch.

Do the math.

Peace.

Drinks for my friends.

So the market executed another spectacular swan into a
bone dry pool with a thankfully thick level of bottom snot today.

A negative thousand point score on the dives
this infant year by the NYSE.

Somewhere around half of that this week.

The Fed chairman, Bernanke, warns of impending doom if
Dumbya doesn’t do something post haste.

Bernanke refuses to own the “R” word while bathing in full glare of The American Middle Class gagging on it.

What the goddamn hell is Dumbya gonna do?

Newsflash: The damage is far beyond extensive. It
will take decades. There is no band-aid big enough.
What is needed is a tourniquet, and we will loose a limb. At least.

No shit, we’re in trouble.

I’m a salesman. I talk to people in every corner of
every state everyday. They tell me it’s soft. It’s
slow. It’s really bad. More than a handful have
intimated that it’s the worst they’ve ever seen.

They’ve been telling me this for at least a year.

Anybody with a lick of sense saw this storm on the
horizon years ago.

Duh.

Once again, a conundrum provokes dismay, panic and
fear, when a solution is so obvious it makes me want
to do the chicken dance while shitting myself and
exhaling a two thousand degree flame.

Wait! Flaming shit!

Nevermind.

Let us pause for a commercial break: Are you people
aware that the Daily Show and The Colbert Report have
not missed a godamn beat since they re-appeared after
the writer’s strike?

They may be better even.

I will now pontificate with some abandon.

See, I came to understand as an audio engineer, that
the middle frequencies should be approached with great
care. Between one and five kHz is very precarious
territory.

Abuse of that land will ruin a song or an entire
record.

Young and callow practitioners of the audio arts ought
to be denied access to that real estate we all hear so well. Left to their own devices among the upper and lower registers

Learn to caress the top and the bottom. Make them
happy and accomodating of the middle. Allow
them to compliment and limelight the middle.

Get the middle on tape faithfully and you may be more than half way down the road.

Life is about the middle as well as the ends.

Salt and pepper.

Good salt.

Good pepper.

The analogy is seamless.

Stupid politicians shouldn’t be allowed any power or
influence over the middle class.

The middle allows and provides for a Republic. The
middle is the catalyst for a democratic ethic and a
free yet honest economic engine.

Forgive my flag, but America’s middle is consensus. Tolerance. And of course, passion and compassion.

The very fiber of The American Dream is the provenance
of it’s middle class.

Any candidate that even whispers “tax cuts” at this
point, better be talking about it as part of a
stimulus for the middle class and thus the economy at
large.

Even that, is likely foolish and irresponsible
pandering on part of any mouth it escapes.

Otherwise, and for any other reason, FUCKTARD should be
branded backwards on his or her forehead so he or she
can read it in the mirror for the rest of his or her
life.

More than half of them would distract you with the
notion that you should most fear an angry Arab
with a suitcase nuke.

This, while the most credible
and legitimate threat facing most of us is an
economic apocalypse.

How about we stop spending a half a million dollars a
minute on this ridiculous fucking war and spend a
fraction of it here at home to repair the damage
wrought by our aronists laureate, Dick-in-Bush?

Maybe roll back those now infamous tax cuts on the
wealthiest of Americans?

I’m a populist humanist because the American Middle is being
shat upon.

Housing, Energy and Retail suck. A virtual guarantee
that we are about to be caught in the toilet’s swirl.

This is going to suck.

Drinks for my friends.

Hillary prevails because the women of New Hampshire saw her tear up. Obama carried women in Iowa. He didn’t in New Hampshire.

Who carried the Gays?

Stay with me.

I do wish Edwards had somehow been able to maintain the trifecta. Here, the difference of deep pockets glares at us. Shame on you New Hampshire. He is clearly the best of the three, at least in terms of message.

Ralph Reed is on CNN. What the hell is he doing there? I loathe this bastard. Christian Coalition fucktard. But wait, he just said what I said about Hillary. What should I do with that? Does’t matter, he’s a dickhead.

Ron Paul wrestling with Skeletor for fourth makes me grin like a poor kid with a new bike.

Looks like Richardson will take his ball home. No big loss but a good man.

Record Democratic turnout and Republican voters are actually down. The poor kid with the new bike just got a new bell and a sparkly gold banana seat.

Wolf Blitzer sucks.

Edwards is tired and so is his speech. It is true, righteous even, but tired. No original chords or melodies. Yet still, good populist stuff. Honest. The best message out there. He tells us he’s staying in the fight. That’s good news. He is the best of any of the horses running with the remotest chance of winning.

I’m afraid my favorite little paste eater is unable to hide the fork sticking out of him. Oh well. So much for massive balls and complete honesty. If the upcoming Democratic administration has an intellectual conscience, Kucinich will have a place in it. I’m not holding my breath.

The Associated Press has just forecast Hillary as the winner. There’s lots to be said for inertia. Momentum.

It may be premature, yet as I say this CNN is owning it. I’ve watched enough elections to agree.

Obama speaks. Very well. This guy is good. Really good. This time he actually references MLK. This man, is a goddamn rockstar. Confidence, charisma and composure. Half the reason I watch is to see this guy play.

Blue eyed murder in a sideswipe dress.

Hillary speaks. She has aged before me. She is metered. Measured. Following Obama is a bitch. No pun intended. She’s virtually Stepford after a master orator. She’s kinda plastic. She kinda sucks. Weak finish.

The Bill & Hillary machine is awesome, however. What we saw was that impressive apparatus in swift and purposeful motion at the bottom of the ninth in the second game of seven. Very impressive.

Here they come. I told ya.

The content was significantly more populist in both Democratic speeches.

You aren’t stupid. I know this because you’re here. I’m sure you can imagine me pulling the lever for whatever Democrat rises to the surface of this contest.

And that’s just what I’ll do.

It’s not that the Democrats are so great, although a few are, it’s that the Republicans suck so fucking much. McCain can’t even comb his own hair. Poor bastard. He’s the best they can do? He’s got a hard on for the war for painfully, and I do mean painfully, obvious reasons and I imagine he has some degree of PTS.

Dick-in-Bush snuck up behind and sucker punched him in 2000. When he woke up he was finished and bitter. Who wants this guy on the switch?

Hustler magazine has this regular feature where they render a photo of a female celebrity with a huge cock in her mouth. It’s hysterical. I know some folks over there and I’m going to call and request that they do the biggest blowhard on the planet, Mitt Romney.

Then there’s our man Skeletor. Fuck him.

Forgive me for not being able to take these assholes seriously.

Drinks for my friends.

September 19, 2007
Today Obama proposed a tax cut and that’s a spectacularly dumb idea.
In all fairness, he did propose some much needed reforms as well as shifts in policy and ideology. He did speak to the widening income gap and therefore, simultaneous atrophy of the middle class and concentration of wealth in America right goddamn now.
But, we’ve got a whole fucking city down south that is now merely a study in compassionless governmental inept broke ass dipshitedness.
And this war is not only shamefully stupid but very expensive. Russia fell because they ran out of money. Russia crawled away from Afghanistan because the coffers were about echo, long since about ring. A radioactive water supply, shit loads of nukes and nuke fuel unaccounted for……………and Putin overtly tightens his grip.
He pretty much fired everybody and took his ball home this week.
By the way, Russia is back.
And this time we’re broke.
Then we have the housing bust, it looked to me more like a soft skull implosion, and the inevitable subprime conflagration. Greenspan maintains he missed that one. I doubt that.
Then there’s the extraordinarily ominous notion that China owns a massive chunk of our asses.
Tax cuts are a really bad idea. Simply because the best we could hope for, were Barack to prevail, is a symbolic cut in taxes to the poor and middle class and no reform at all.
Well, and because it’s a really stupid idea from every other angle as well. The Republicans tried the tax cut tango and by virtue of smoke and mirrors, murder and lasers, fucked every one but the rich.
What we need, is those proposed reforms and re-prioritizing. Repeal the Dick-in-Bush fuckery and close the damn loopholes. You know, the ones that make it free to do business offshore?
We really need to pull an assload of troops out of Iraq as our very first DIPLOMATIC move. While we’re doing that we need to start making some goddamn friends in the neighborhood for once.
We don’t need no fucking tax cuts Mr. Obama. Your move may be a shallow populist grab for the great unwashed because your fellow Donkey/steeds are bustin a nut over healthcare, while you and Hills are on the big pharma tit like no other whorse on the grounds.
Or you may be sincere. I don’t care. Bad form. Gamesmanship: Zero.
I’m simply using you as example Mr. Obama, an example of underestimating what we want and what we know is needed. We have whales to fry. Now is no time to make decreasing revenue an empty priority.
I don’t dislike you, so I’m hoping you do better.
By the way, Stewart and Greenspan tonight was a Frazetta painting of two genuine big brained geeks riffing. It rocked my taint.
Drinks for my friends.

I wasn’t impressed.

Dick-in-Bush are nothing if not adroit with the smoke
and the mirrors. Adept with the dogs and the ponies.
If it didn’t smell so damn familiar, if it didn’t give
me the creeps, if I was new, I might just swallow it.

Today General Mars Petraeus spoke, and he was full of
shit.

I’m not interested in writing a term paper here;
suffice it to say that we are further away from any
lasting solution than we were when Petraeus entered
stage right.

The potential for peril continues to swell as
Iran breathes power into the vacuum. It is an unmitigated
mess. A sigh between today and abject
failure.

The only thing mitigated is a chance for a
solution and that is by our own hand. Now we shake
fingers and rattle swords at Iran.

No wonder that the rest of the world
fears our foolishness.

I was impressed with CNN.

From Christiane Amanpour’s piece on religion and
conflict to this very evening, where I see Anderson
Cooper call into question the copious glut of charts
and statistics proffered by Mars Petraeus in front of
congress today.

Bravo.

Cooper and CNN are savvy enough to realize that
bouncing atop a wave of ever increasing Americans who
are beginning to see that they’ve been fed shit for
over six years is a wise play indeed. They are
saying, it seems, that we’ve been lied to so far, so
how do we know we aren’t being lied to now?

In other words. There seems to be an enormous war fat,
lipstick slathered swine of an emperor without any
clothes, parading gracelessly in our streets and on
our televisions.

Dumbya is not just sinking in the polls, he’s starting
to disgust us. Beware the tipping point that has us hating
ourselves. She’ll be coming ’round the mountain when
she comes.

Don’t go thinking these guys are done. They have fifteen months. It will get worse.

Read my lips. Mark my words.

You ain’t seen nothing yet.

Drinks for my friends.

More TV.

Christiane Amanpour’s extensive piece on religion
titled “Gods Warriors”.

I watched most of it.

Fascinating and perhaps comforting on a certain level
to find practitioners of faith even more completely
insane than our own brand.

Scary because they have more conviction and less
hypocrisy.

Ironic they live in an arid region that supplies the
big blue marble with oil while the world’s breadbasket
drowns because of America’s abuse and control of the
filthy nectar sucked from their sand.

Religion is at the core of this conflict. It is the
fundament. It is why we are where we are. Neither
side of the marble will relenquish it’s imaginary
friend. Both sides insist that it’s imaginary friend
is morally superior to the other. By virtue of that, each side
is confident that it’s imaginary friend can kick the
other’s ass.

Yet, it was not the Muslims or the Christians that
poured nitro on this acient and acrimonius pile of
smouldering camel crap that has us on the threshold of
a third world war. The first where we are capable
of entirely erasing ourselves.

It was our government. Dick-in-Bush, a spineless
congress and a complicit judiciary.

Welcome to the fifth grade.

I gotta tell ya, I’m not happy to see proof that
they are just as gullible, dogmatic and stupid as we
are. Christian fundamentalists scare me every bit as
much as Muslim extremists.

It’s kinda like being in a dive bar. A small one.
And there’s two dumbasses that don’t have enough sense
to realize that the shit they are stirring will end up
with at least one of them bleeding bad on the floor.
As well as the real possibility that they’re both
packing and will kill each other and more than a few of
the rest of us.

That, my friends, is where we are. Organized religion
is comprehensively culpable.

Religion took the bait.

Religion smiled, held out its hands and
accepted the kool aid along with a formula to make
it available to the masses. They then followed
through with glee. They paid it forward.

We are in a war of religious ideology.

I’m about to piss a few of you off.

Faith* is stupid. Creationism is retarded. All you
people who buy into God, in any traditional sense, are
willfully ignorant.

Your goddamn beliefs are the root of most of the evil
ever perpetuated and precisely the reason the world
has remained in chaos since man has been able to write
about it.

The single most important reason I loathe organized
religion is it’s complete disregard of logic. Of
Science. Of what makes sense. Empirical
discipline.

There’s a sixty thousand square foot museum in
Kentucky dedicated to creationism. One diorama after
another of modern man hanging out with dinosaurs. A
sprawling complex in 21st century America, dedicated
to picking it’s nose and looking out the window at
every theory, fact, and mountain of evidentiary
information mankind has been able to compile
throughout history.

No apologies. That’s really stupid.
You have got to be fucking kidding me.

I don’t know if the Muslim religion has a parallel for
Santa Clause but I’ve always viewed Christianity as
Santa and his list of good and bad kids, for adults.

See all religion has long since been usurped by
avarice. Faith and bureaucracy do not mix. It is a
recipe for corruption and myopic pursuit of power and
control.

My point is this: If we are to prosper as a species on
this tiny blue moist spec of dust in in a universe
beyond our imagination, we absolutelty must learn
humility. We must discard these archaic and obsolete
notions of superiority based on distorted views of the
way our world was made and/or the badassness of our imaginary friends.

We are an accident. A biological coincidence lucky
enough to flourish and achieve consciousness. It
is imperative that we stop our bickering and begin to
be grateful for our barely consequential existence.

Walk it off people. Set it aside. There are things
so important you cannot begin to imagine them.

You want to worship? How about worshipping where your water comes from? How about the planet that sustains you? Your family and friends and all the people you’ve never met and won’t ever meet? Art. Kittens. Whiskey.

*What I’m talking about here is blind unchecked faith.
All I know, is if I were to observe merely faith in
the context of day to day, I would end up residing in
a cardboard box.

I am an agnostic. As such, I view your God, in
whatever form you believe it to be, as without proof
of superiority, or even existence. I don’t care. All
I want, is for you to refrain from trying to insert it
into my life, our society, our government, our world
and MY FUTURE.

Drinks for my friends.

It occurs to me that of all the reasons to resist
impeachment of either of these two executive
dickheads, heh, the most compelling is the idea that
the Democrats, eyeing a possible win in ’08, are more
than happy to allow the consolidation of executive
power to continue so that they will literally be
seizing control upon prevailing on our electoral
college.

Pretty fucking scary. They already gave Dumbya an ass
pocket of torque to do whatever Cheney tells him when it
comes to penetrating the lives of our citizenry
without ever having to tell a single soul.

Then the bastards took a vacation.

My knee jerk was, “what a bunch of complete pussies”.
I was astonished that the dipshitocrats were still
ambulatory at all after literally folding in half when
their spines mysteriously evaporated after just one
round of the war funding bout.

Picture it. Really. Harry Reid, once a boxer, bent
so completely backward at the waist that his head
scrapes the ground as he stares from between his own
feet, his trunk pulled along by his legs like an
afterthought.

Turdblossom then flees the scene with his balloon head
buffeted by the velocity of his escape. A deal was
cut there kids. I doubt you’ll see anymore
persecution by our newly elected majority of America’s
very own Lex Luthor.

Maybe I’m naive, but I’m not sure how much I want
to know about this rabbit hole.

I’m not stupid. I understand that a lot of them sleep
in the same bed as well as share the same bathwater.
They may awkwardly mingle dicks given they’re
so clueless about homosexuality. Even the gay
ones.

Hillary and Obama lead both parties when it comes to
meeting big pharma at the crossroads and stuffing
their undergarments with filthy lucre.

Yet I still wonder just what the fuck is going on
here.

I am firmly of the opinion that it is the fundamental
responsibility of our legislative branch to seek
impeachment of our executive leaders for defying the
Constitution of The United States of America. Indeed,
for making such an egregious mess of everything they
have touched. For the nearly one million dead. And
for shamelessly lying about it every step of the way.

Regular Dick-in-Bush report cards qualify them for the short bus and helmets at the mall. Despite this, with the exception of Conyers and Kucinich, they refuse to even discuss it.

What gives?

Clinton got what I hope was a rockstar style hoovering
and lied about it. Nixon was actually complicit in
petty crimes and lied about it. In both instances
congress pretty much handed them their asses.

What gives?

What’s it going to take?

Do we need video of Cheney eating aborted babies with fucking
ketchup? Maybe he’ll use the wrong goddamn fork and
then we’ll nail his ass.

Like I said last time around, the damage is done. The
pooch has been raped with violence and merciless
repetition. America is now a poodle pulled along on one of those
skateboards from the fifties with metal wheels.

The rest of the world laughs, sheds a tear, sighs or
fears they who pull the crippled creature across the
world stage.

For seven years, the Democrats have been guilty of
aiding and abetting and there is no end in sight.

They want to pull the dog across the stage for awhile.

You have got be fucking kidding me.

Man I fucking hate these guys.

Drinks for my friends.

A lot going on. I’ve been busy. Shall we review the douchebaggery visited upon us this week?

ITEM ONE:

The very same federal judge and greasy bastard that
forbade us from even a glimpse at Cheney’s energy task
force documents, dismissed the suit brought by
COVERT CIA AGENT Vallerie Plame Wilson against
Dick-in-Bush et al.

He essentially said that although the behavior of the
White House was “unsavory” when it smeared Joe and
Vallerie Wilson for telling the truth, it was “within
the scope of defendants’ duties as high-level
Executive Branch officials.”

-Quotes from truthout.org

You have got to be fucking kidding me.

A can of Pabst for the first mouth breather to
share with us who appointed said greasy bastard.

His name, John Bates of the US District Court in
Washington, DC.

He worked for that lizard Ken Starr too, on Whitwater,
of course. No big suprise that he was successful in
arguing for the release of a cornucopia of documents
from Hillary at the time. Pat Leahy said “When that
guy was working for Ken Starr, he wanted to go open
the dresser drawers of the White House, I guess it’s a
lot different when it’s a Republican vice president.”

-Quotes from truthout.org

I really loathe these pricks.

ITEM TWO:

Harriet Miers faces the withering spotlight of
‘inherent contempt’ after refusing to show up for a
subpeona issued by a congressional committee. She
chose to ditch the proceedings because Dumbya super super promised her she didn’t have to come and she wouldn’t get in trouble.

Apparently, the Sergeant-at-Arms can arrest her.

I worked in my state legislature for awhile. The arms
of our Sergeants were pretty short. Just long enough
to stuff donuts in their faces and still behave with
some degree of composure. Most of them were in highschool and without any swimming with the knife in your teeth experience.

I’m pretty sure the D.C. version isn’t a helluva lot
more formidable.

I wouldn’t exactly anticipate anal leakage as a
result of an olestra saturated conscience if I were
you.

Maximum penalty is twelve months and a thousand bucks.

If the full force of the law were brought to bear,
it wouldn’t be a bad plate of shrimp to
a sycophant like Miers.

You know she wouldn’t do any time. She’d definitely rather pay
the fine than fill her granny panties with the pungent
liquid stool of truth.

Not so withering a light after all. What it is, is a candle. That could drip wax on your end table. Worse case scenario, the family pet dances for thirty seconds thinking “Hot HOT HOT!”

ITEM THREE:

“Bush administration officials unveiled a bold new
assertion of executive authority yesterday in the
dispute over the firing of nine U.S. attorneys, saying
that the Justice Department will never be allowed to
pursue contempt charges initiated by Congress against
White House officials once the president has invoked
executive privilege.” You’ve really got
to read this.*** I guess my space is not happy with my link-Washington Post, July 20 “Broader Privilege Claimed In Firings”***

I abhor this administration’s sociopathic predilection
for blanketing the judiciary with bogus get out of
jail free cards on behalf of any and every crony that
would otherwise be forced to tell us the fucking
truth.

ITEM FOUR:

The dickhead republican minority in the senate
thwarted an attempt, via fillibuster, to hold
Dick-in-Bush to a timetable for withdrawl from Iraq. Despite some 70% percent of WE THE PEOPLE calling for it and it being
more than a little hypocritically disingenuous in
light of the “nuclear” option they had such a hard on for just a
few years ago over various federal judicial and SCOTUS
nominees.

Shameless Dickheads.

“The Republican leadership has established hurdles and
blockades, everything they can find to stop us from a
vote that reflects the feelings of the American
people. You know why? They’re afraid of what the
American people want. They’re afraid the American
people might prevail.”

– Senator Dick Durbin (D-Illinois)

Hard to believe that there are still so many flat
earthers in our legislative branch when even a casual
assessment reveals how obviously fucked up is every last thing.

ANYWAY:

Not long ago, Dumbya bragged about the political
capital he’d amassed as a result of the slimmest
margin ever earned by an incumbent president. He
practically swaggered as he boasted of how he
intended to spend it.

Now he’s too broke to pay attention; it’s not as
though he ever has anyway.

Before it’s over he will have spent over a trillion
dollars and a million lives. What an asshole. What a
criminal.

WHAT A DICKHEAD.

Congress now has an abundance of horsepower, it is supplied
by the will of the no longer somnambulant WE THE
PEOPLE. It remains to be seen if they possess the
wherewithal to convert it into torque and put it on pavement.

We need to remind them that outside, it’s
America.

And the killing and dying goes on and on and on.

Drinks for my friends.

Unbelievable. Or, well, maybe not.

From Air Force One Dumbya phoned in an order to commute the sentence of inmate #28301016, you may know him better as I. Lewis “Scooter” Libby, Jr. Scapegoat. Fall guy. Patsy.

The spokesholes raved and their spittle did fly.

Think the Dick-in-Bush regime are a little cranky about having their asses handed to them over their ham fisted, neanderthaloid attempts at immigration reform?

Sitting presidents typically exercise such options at the end of their tenure, when they have little left to lose.

It did give me pause, yet it was fleeting. The raw hubris on display was initially extraordinary. I admit that I was in awe at the sociopathic insolence upon hearing of it. After all, when first asked about it, Dumbya vowed to get to the bottom of it; he said he’d fire anyone responsible.

Methinks he said that because he was woefully out of the loop and didn’t have a clue as to what he should say. Poor stupid fuck that he is, he defaulted to a domestic version of “smoke ’em out”.

Ever notice how close together his eyes are?

Anyway, I then had an ephiphany the size of a slap to the forehead. These fucks still have a lot to lose.

Libby was convicted of lying to the FBI and a grand jury AND of obstructing justice. This was Darth Cheney’s chief of staff. This was about the lies told by this administration to sell us on an unjust war. Hundreds of thousands of people died over the lies this sniveling fucktard got caught covering up.

He, is the ultimate insider, privy to the entire landfill.

The lies themselves were never really revealed, they sure as fuck were never prosecuted. Now the somnambulant among you won’t be able to see where I’m going with this. I trust the rest of you will.

See that speck over there? When you first spot it you think it’s a pelican or something. Just bobbing. Maybe it’s asleep.

As the ship approaches, it shocks with it’s exponential increase. All the sudden, it’s the goddamn Matterhorn.

What it is, is the tip of the proverbial iceberg. Inmate #28301016 sits astride it like Slim Pickens on an atomic bomb in that Kubrick flick.

They had to cut this little fucker a deal, unlike the other parade of patsies, If he sings they are vapor. Trust me, he knows everything. More than a few of us know more than a little of it, but this guy can prove virtually all of it.

Wonder why he went down in the firstplace? I’ll quote myself from last month, June 12, 2007-the year of our lord:

“See kids, here’s the deal. Gonzales is the bulkhead protecting Rove and Cheney on this issue. The same way Rumsfeld was on a completely different issue. The same way Libby was. The same way Peter Pace was. Or Powell, Ashcroft, DeLay and Wolfowitz. Heard much from Condi lately? Bitch.”

Lest any of you be overly zealous in pointing out the sheer testicle mass revealed in this act by Dumbya, understand it is really quite the opposite. This was done out of genuine and legitimate fear that we’d all see the naked emperor, shriveled, purple puss leaking phallus and all.

God I hate these guys.

Drinks for my friends.

Imagine if you will, a world where that fucking lizard Cheney has been impeached.

I doubt it would come to that, but what if our legislators, under extreme pressure and heat, developed tungsten spines and brought gravity to bear on our arsonists laureate? So much so that our man Darth was forced to walk?

The will, the very fiber of the Republican party would be disrupted like DNA exposed to massive nuclear radiation. The good, the bad and the ugly of the neoconserative to moderate Right wing would excrete a little gore, some mucus, and leave a trail of ash.

Rudderless.

They would have no idea what’s next because these days they look at Dick-in-Bush for what not to do as much as for what to do. Hard to believe they still stare so hard at that map, even while their eyes begin to resemble it’s random snaking red arteries.

Already lost and clawing. Taking jackasses like Mit Romney and Fred Thompson seriously.

The Republican party is more bereft of intellectual and therefore ideological purity than ever before.

We on the Left seem to have a glut of glad handing superhuman fundraisers. Shameless, spineless paper tiger/whores. This last quarter, Obama raised thirty two million fucking dollars. He smoked the Clinton machine.

We are now them and they are us.

“I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together. See how they run like pigs from a gun, see how they fly. I’m crying.” -I Am The Walrus.

The Left has Kucinich, and the Right has Ron Paul. Two men who, right or wrong, have the courage of their convictions. Neither has a snowflake’s chance in hell on an August day in a borosilicate kiln. Not going to happen. One can only hope they are able to steer the debate a little before wafting away as vapor.

It may very well be time to shrug these petty notions of left and right, of black and white.

Defining the difference between good and bad is not something we should aspire to, it’s what we should engage in. It is there that we should take our sticks and rifles to draw lines. That is the distinction we should pursue.

Ideology may just be for the stupid. It is without a doubt for the ignorant.

The sane among us are well aware of the difference between right and wrong. Ocassionally it may require an assessment of our own hearts and our own minds, but with the sane, the truth inevitably prevails.

What’s it going to take for deliverance? Steadfast adherance to truth, justice and the American way?

It has long since ceased to be a matter of partisan concerns. Quite some time ago, it emerged as a struggle of right versus wrong.

It is time to act accordingly. Move beyond the labels.

“Semolina pilchard, climbing up the Eiffel Tower.
Elementary penguin singing Hari Krishna.
Man, you should have seen them kicking Edgar Allan Poe.
I am the eggman, they are the eggmen.
I am the walrus, goo goo g’joob g’goo goo g’joob.
Goo goo g’joob g’goo goo g’joob g’goo.”

The state of our union is a comedy to those who think and a tragedy to those who feel.

I borrowed part of that last bit from a guy named Horace Walpole.

Drinks for my friends.

Proof of just how out of touch is Dumbya:

The pelvis crushing defeat of any possibity of a
reformed immigration policy. He honestly believed he
could get this done. Why? Because he’s fucking
stupid.

To whit; despite that he’s been scraping them off his
shoe for six years, the democrats have had a majority
in the house for almost seven months and they’re not
about to afford him a victory no matter how symbolic.
And, half of his own party are now comfortable pissing
in his wind, particularly on this subject. What a
douchebag.

Dude, stick your finger in the air.

Of heavier notes………

The Supreme Court soiled itself yesterday.

“Rarely have so few undone so much, so
quickly”-Supreme Court Justice Stephen Breyer aiming
his pea shooter at dickheads Roberts, Scalia and
Alito.

I guess I’m a liberal on this issue. It occurs to me
that the the time to cease encouraging racial
diversity in a racially divided America is when said
country is no longer so transparently divided by race.

The logistics and implementation of affirmative action
programs et. al. have been flawed for sure, but I
believe the concept to be sound. It is good medicine for a
still sick society. We have yet to recover from our
bigotry and propensity to discriminate for petty and
pious reasons.

There are legitimate objections to the way various
policies have been allowed to manifest. Bureaucracy
sucks. Yet, until every American can begin life on a
level playing field, regardless of socio-econimic
status and/or something as simple as skin color, we
should continue to pursue legislating the ethic.

It is always a mistake to attempt to legislate
morality. It is often quite noble to undertake
legislating fairness and justice.

In other news:

Colin Powell is a pussy.

House and Senate judiciary committees found the
inevitable ‘get out of jail free’ card underneath the
morning muffin today when the Whitehouse revealed it
would be taking a steamer on the forehead of Congress
by once again, tirelessly running behind the
“Executive Privilege” house of cards.

Let’s back up a little. See, subpeonas were issued
yesterday to Dick-in-Bush, Dick and the Department of
Alpo Gonzales.

This is more than intriguing because the Chief
Executive did not hesitate to run, while pissing
himself, behind the rubber band powered balsa glider known as “Executive
Privilege”.

All the while, Darth Cheney no longer has that option
because he shook his drops on “Executive Privelege” last week to avoid
disclosing how many secrets he’s kept secret. Welcome to the jungle.

“Welcome back my friends to the show that never ends
We’re so glad you could attend, come inside, come inside
There behind a glass stands a real blade of grass
Be careful as you pass, move along, move along” -Emerson Lake & Palmer

“There’s a sucker born every minute” – P. T. Barnum

Fuckheads. Man I hate these guys.

Drinks for my friends.

Audacious, ostentatious douchebaggery of the most
egregious kind. It is with quaking awe, in the most
enormous shadow of sociopathic hubris I have yet to
witness, that I bring this to you:

Richard Bruce Cheney has declared the office of Vice
President to be not of the executive branch and
therefore exempt from not only revealing secrets, but
revealing how many secrets they have chosen not to
reveal. This, in direct conflict with an executive
order signed by his puppet boss, Dumbya, in 2003.

“Transparently silly…………….It’s obvious that
the Vice President’s office is part of the executive
branch and to claim otherwise is preposterous”-Steven
Aftergood from The Federation of American Scientists.

“Your position was that your office ‘does not believe
it is included in the definition of ‘agency’ as set
forth in the Order’ and ‘does not consider itself an
‘entity within the executive branch’ that comes into
the possession of classified information,'” a National
Archives official claims Cheney chief of staff David
Addington wrote to him.-rawstory.com

The constitution establishes the office of Vice
President as being part of the executive branch under
article two, section one.

It cracks me the fuck up that so many secrets have
been kept under the notions of executive privilege and
power by this administration and Cheney in particular.

Forgive me, but fuck this fucking miserable fuck. The
second highest office in the executive branch of
American government and this dickhead declares it not
to be of said branch at all because he is president of
the senate as well?

I soooo cannot wait for his evil, black and purple
mass leaking puss like custard organ to detonate like
a rotting pie dropped from a lighting rig onto the
stage of a theater under a cold spotlight. Just who
does this maggot glistening piece of reptile shit
think he is?

Sorry about this, but you have got be fucking kidding
me.

He hid behind executive privilege to keep from you and
I what was talked about in this nation’s energy policy
meetings and even who was there. That’s just one
example of his hiding behind what he now rejects. For
what it’s worth, executive withholding under privilege
is typically only brought to bear by the executive
himself. And gas is near four bucks a gallon while
Exxon, the world’s richest corporation posts profits
that shatter all records.

These guys are good.

Still. Why? You so blatantly violate an executive
order signed by the very man who’s ass you have at
least one of your appendages up and tickling throat at
all times?

Dick has A LOT to hide.

Wierd, but if there’s a fissure, Dumbya doesn’t stand
a chance and he knows it. By now, he owns that he’s
stupid. He may even be starting to recognize the
profound ineptness of the eggheads around him.

Kinda makes you wonder if Dumbya is starting to get a
little sore, even though he’s ridin cowgirl. See, he
thought if he was on top, it wouldn’t hurt .

Dumbass.

Pun intended.

Man I hate these guys.

Drinks for my friends.

So, the no confidence vote on Gonzales went down like
a flaming depleted uranium Zeppelin yesterday in the
Senate.

Big suprise.

Ooooh. The jackass party was able to achieve lockstep
for an action that was completely symbolic. Ahhhh!

Yet with barely a glance from the great unwashed, it’s
eggshell skull was dashed upon the rocks and sensitive
brains were washed away like scrambled embryos. Eggs, I mean.

Most who’s heads were opened in the fray were already inflicted with advanced scoliosis. A few lacked spines entirely but their floating visages were held aloft by the power of knowing that what they chose to do on this day didn’t matter a bit. After all, it was a foregone conclusion and no one was watching.

Paris was back in the pokey!

Their bravery and conviction would make my lips
quiver, if I had a fucking vagina!!

Do I care if Gonzales takes the dirt nap? I realize it doesn’t matter because they’ll just plug in another asshole. They’ll probably end up amputating one prong from whoever the poor bastard is because the neocons are a two prong receptacle. They lack a seperate ground. I digress.

Fuck yes I’d like to see that scheming, hopelessly corrupt, sociopathic, dickless excuse for wearing a suit, spiral into shame and oblivion. Maybe we can trump up some child molestation charges and send him to a state prison in Texas.

Really. Wow. Our legislative branch was not even
able to label the most overt stumblefuck of the
Dick-in-Bush administration a fucktard today. He counts as the most overt one because former superstars like Rumsfeld are gone.

What’s Rummy up to? Growing herbs in a window box and maybe a little model ship building?

“A waste of time”, the elephants of the GOP had to
say.

“Republican Minority Leader Mitch McConnell chided
Democrats for ‘spending our time on a meaningless
resolution about giving the president advice about who
the attorney general ought to be.’

-from Bloomberg.

It occurs to me that the legislative branch ought get
involved when the blind and ignorant or evil and all knowing executive branch dogmatically and stubbornly supports a complete loser.

I mean, according to his own testimony, Albert with a
0 (that’s a zero kids) can’t remember what his dick looks like. What he
likes in his coffee or if we’re all created equal.

See kids, here’s the deal. Gonzales is the bulkhead protecting Rove and Cheney on this issue. The same way Rumsfeld was on a completely different issue. The same way Libby was. The same way Peter Pace was. Or Powell, Ascroft, DeLay and Wolfowitz. Heard much from Condi lately? Bitch.

I typically write these rants once I’ve worked up a
head of steam, gotten my mad on, if you will. Tonight,
not so much. I’m not suprised and can barely manage
disappointed.

Let me take another run at this.

This guy is a global embarrassment. He’s a fucking
pawn. Everyone, and I mean every one, knows what this
sycophantic automaton is about. And it’s sick, that
this piece of shit gamepiece enjoys the blanket of
neoconservative warmth. That he who is supposed to
embody justice fights so obstinately against it. This
greasy prick showed up with with Andy Card at
Ashcroft’s bedside when he was fighting for his own
worthless life, to twist his arm into allowing our
Aronists Laureate to do whatever the fuck they wanted
to do to you and me.

He doesn’t recall any of it.

Before this bastard was the law of the land he was
chief waterboy at the pissing end of Dick-in-Bush. As
White House Counsel he wrote that which he is now in
charge of defending at the pleasure of Dumbya.

This is all disturbing and profoundly disgusting on a day when Paris Hilton commands more attention than any of what I’m
pontificating about. It makes me sure that at least
in some way, we deserve it.

We do actually. We’ve allowed a scenario where our
very own elected representatives are more beholdin’ to a single
party and its jingoistic disease of dogma than the constituents at who’s pleasure they’re supposed to serve. Pricks.

Just like our military, our congress, our executives, our values, our morals, our ethics, just like all of them, our judiciary and the office of Attorney General of the United States is rent asunder. Scorched, perhaps irreparably.

Bobby Kennedy held that office and it may have cost him his life.

If that wasn’t the beginning of the end I don’t know what was.

Everyone besides Dick-in-Bush understands that this
pooch is screwed. Gangraped, from hell to
breakfast. Nine ways to Sunday. It’s over. We broke
it. Possession is ours.

Our fault.

Drinks for my friends.

Disclaimer: Forgive me. I thought the debates last night warranted more of my air chomping pontification. I hope you can still breath by the time I’m done. Those with compromised mental lung capacity are encouraged to abstain.

What Biden glossed over with his pedantic soliloquy about not having enough votes to end the war in the Senate, was exactly what Edwards was talking about. Edwards was talking to both Hillary and Barack. They both voted nay, but snuck in and out to do so. They hid their convictions as best they could. Biden complained about having only 50 votes, as opposed to the 67 needed to purchase the veto proof vest.

So? Really, so fucking what? I expect there to be fifty votes in opposition. If the absolute most you can hope to accomplish is to remind them that they, even with Lieberman, don’t have a majority either, then for fuck’s sake do it. That is what we asked for, literally, in the last election.

And then, they veto it. Dick-in-Bush. The Blackhats.

What I’m looking for now is a whole bunch of you bastards, especially the democrats, to resubmit the same bill or as close as you can get to it, over and over and over. Ad goddamn nauseum.

Help me out here, is that too much to ask?

Newsflash you spineless pricks, the majority in this country will not accuse you of undermining our troops. As Kucinich pointed out, there’s enough money in the pipeline to get them home. The ones that would point that finger are just plain stupid. You can’t help them and you won’t reach them. They are those that would embrace Nixon, they dwell in the hydrilla.

Now I know that the lot of you, being politicians, are shameless harlots, so here’s your chance to suck up to THE MAJORITY. Democrats aren’t used to this and they are as a group, usually pretty shy. Well, what they are, are sniveling whiny cowards. Petunias all.

So you caved. Wilted. Pissed yourselves and darted away with the look of stupid eyed pigeons. 10 out of 50 democrats in the Senate had enough sack to do the right thing.

I still like Biden. I still like them all. But Edward’s point was both germane and salient. We now have a chance, for the first time in seven cold years, to swing a hard hook to the head of Dick-in-Bush and there’s no reason we shouldn’t. We are right. They are wrong. And they’ve made it obvious.

Instead our esteemed and newly elected body politic gets held down by a few bullies, is forced into a tutu, smeared with lipstick and pisses itself before entering the cafeteria to cast it’s vote.

If some greater number of you don’t start to own your own souls, we’re gonna end up with a new Puppet Mayor Arsonist Laureate.

Is Richardson wearing a toupe’?

Drinks for my vertebrates.

So, it’s Memorial Day.

Happy Memorial Day.

What’s that supposed to mean?

No matter which side of the the current conflict you’re on, how could anyone possibly be happy about it?

Today we’re supposed to reflect on and be grateful for those who have served and survived as well as those who have fallen. I am. I am grateful. It is a sacrifice that I cannot imagine.

I remember my uncle Danny. He came to stay with us after serving in Vietnam and an honorable discharge from the army. I was five or six. He was quiet but happy to be home. We slept in the same room and the dial of his radium painted watch glowed perpetually in the dark. He had a bullet scar on his shoulder. He was the youngest of my mother’s ten siblings.

A number of my uncles were in the military and even a few cousins. My father’s brother fought, my father was declared 4F. Besides my father’s brother Eldon, who fought in WWII and whom I didn’t really know, uncle Danny was the only one in my extended family to see combat.

Funny how they both ended up abusing alcohol.

As far as I know, he’s uttered aproximately two sentences about it in forty years. I was present for one of those sentences last summer at a family renunion. I was drunk and so was he, I don’t remember what he said.

I then got drunker with cousins Angie, Todd, Rob, shithead Rod, Derrick my coolest inlaw cousin and his wife Marlow………….it goes on and on. Tyke and Bobby, Fred and Sharon, John and Jody, Birdy and Ken, Jim and Carlene, Uncle Larry and Und uncle Skip (Skid), Shirley and Bob…………….It was a big ass collection of at least half crazy white people in the woods of eastern Washington State. You would not have wanted to stumble into that camp after dark if you were a stranger. Most of the Hardings keep a gun close by and so do most of the inlaws. I digress.

Uncle Danny is the sum of my experience with a combat veteran. Like I said, he hasn’t had much to say.

So I’ve got no legitimate personal stake in this. But it really chaps my ass. It’s wrong. Everyone is starting to realize it. Finally.

Once you buy that it’s a lie, and that’s a crucial step because it is, there’s really not much left other than the loss of life.

The emperor is naked and really disgusting to look at. He and his administration are why everyone is dying and having their limbs blown off and brains spilling out of their fucking heads.

The world used to love us because of our global exploits in the name of “Freedom”. Now, they hate us.

Newsflash you asshats: They don’t hate us because of Rosie O’donnell, they hate us because of Dick-in-Bush. And so do I.

Just yesterday I heard some fucktard on the radio trying to make a case for Rosie not supporting the troops and equating them to terrorists. This empty, jingoistic, rhetorical whaleshit is beginning to fossilize.

In other words, that dog don’t hunt. That brush don’t hold no paint. I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say that if you disagree with the previous two sentiments, you’re either stupid or ignorant. Perhaps willfully ignorant, a fate worse than passing a stone.

It’s all over but the dying. How long that goes on is up to our elected and our ability to sneak smoldering coals into their anal clefts.

Nearly thirty thousand Americans wounded and approaching thirty five hundred dead. Estimates of Iraqi dead are well north of a half million. Nothing accomplished and for no fucking reason. In fact, not only nothing accomplished but an actual deficit in that regard.

This is really stupid and so are we. I agree with Sean Penn. They should all be in fucking jail for what they have done.

Drinks for my friends. Happy holiday.

I’m kinda aggravated. But I don’t have much. To say,
that is. Well, that’s not true.

I mean, Oprah’s getting hotter. She really is. If
you see her, tell her I said that. Tell her I like
her hair.

Dick-in-Bush swung the veto at the damp end of a
shriveled phallus today. With a retarded, clenched
orifice resolve, they smote the will of the people, as
well as the legislative arm of the republic.

Struck down, was the rather popular notion that we get
the fuck out of Iraq, because it was a mistake to
begin with and because most of us (not me), bought the
lie.

Let he who hath understanding, reckon the number of
the beast. For it is a human number. It’s number is
28%.

These guys are starting to really look like clowns.
Tenet is on 60 Minutes the other night saying it
wasn’t his fault and they all knew it was bullshit.
We already know that to be true. What’s kinda funny
is, the very next day a herd of underlings come
forward to tell us that Tenet has as much blood on his
hands as everyone else.

Don’t forget, this asswipe got the highest honor a
civilian citizen can recieve. Dumbya himself awarded
Tenet, Franks and Bremer The Presidential Medal of
Freedom at the same time, on the same stage.

The Keystone Cops of Operation Iraqi Freedom. The
Musketeers most responsible.

So much for the military. So much for the executive
and legislative branch.

Judicial branch? I don’t fucking know. Gonzalez is a
douchebag though. Dumbya has even more confidence in
him now that he was able to utter some version of “I
don’t know” over seventy times under oath and on TV
with a straight face.

See, Dumbya’s thinking, “I could do that. If that’s
all I ever had to say, you bet, I could do that”.

Meanwhile, Cheney hasn’t crapped in weeks. Poor
bastard has nothing but full, unopened cans of vienna
sausages in his colon and he just can’t seem to pass
even one. Sooner or later they will emerge as flawed
diamonds or he’s gonna explode like a caged calf on a
liquid diet intended for veal.

I’m actually waiting for the whole thing to blow wide
open. We’re close. It will be preceded by civil
unrest. Americans are stupid but this is ridiculous.
When the going gets wierd, the wierd turn pro. R.I.P.
HST.

I’m going on record here. I’m predicting the demise
of this administration before the next election. The
house of cards will fall. It will implode.

Drinks for my friends.

There’s four on the right side and four on the wrong
side and the man in the middle is Justice Anthony
Kennedy and he’s a goddamn catholic.

Actually, I believe five are catholic.

Disclaimer: Some of my best friends are catholic.

Today the most elite quorum of our judicial branch
upheld a “ban on partial birth abortion”.

Fact: 0.17% is the latest number available of IDXs
(Intact dilation and extraction) performed in this
country of all abortions performed. Let me help you
out here; that’s less than a fifth of a hundredth.

The level of intensity and of every other expenditure in
this ridiculous fight is just absurd.

From Wikipedia:
“The non-medical term “Partial-birth Abortion” was
coined in 1995 by pro-life congressman Charles Canady
(R-Fla)[6] and is primarily used in political
discourse — chiefly regarding the legality of abortion
in the United States. The term’s first use may be from
the original proposed Partial-Birth Abortion Ban,
which circulated in discussion through the first half
of 1995 and was formally introduced by the congressman
on 14 June 1995.[7] Keri Folmar, the lawyer
responsible for the bill’s language, says the term
developed in early 1995 in a meeting between her,
Charles T. Canady, and National Right to Life
Committee lobbyist Douglas Johnson.[8] “Partial-birth
abortion” was first used in the media on 4 June 1995
in a Washington Times article covering the bill.[9]”

If you didn’t feel like reading that, let me synopsize
for ya. Blatant, shameless, arrogant and
conspiratorial obfuscation from what was then a callow
fringe movement anxiously awaiting the progeny of
neoconservative dogma and the christian right.

Sorry all you pucker mouthed fucktards, I’m here to
tell ya there’s not a horde of braless hippie women
decending on every clinic in the land with distended
bellies looking to drop a zero and find a hero in
their eight month. Don’t know what you’re gonna do with that diamond that’s been forming in your colon since the late 90’s.

This procedure is really rare, ok?

Forgive me. I had to gorp.

God I hate these bastards.

Dick-in-Bush are poised to gleefully veto any
federally funded stem cell research legislation.
Dumbya isn’t just candid about it, he brags about it
the same way he brags about swinging his shriveled
manhood to smite any spending bill that places limits
on the occupation of Iraq.

God I hate these fuckers.

Over 200 dead in Baghdad today.

On that note, let me point out just how long I could
go on…………….

And by the way, those of you unwashed approaching me en masse with the latest baby killer merit badge, Koreans are the new Muslims, or haven’t you watched the news lately.

Over 200 dead in Baghdad today.

Over 200 dead in Baghdad today.

Over 200 dead in Baghdad today.

Drinks for my friends.

Good-bye Joe, me gotta go, me oh my oh
Me gotta go pole the pirogue down the bayou
My Yvonne, the sweetest one, me oh my oh
Son of a gun, we’ll have big fun on the bayou

Jambalaya and a crawfish pie and file’ gumbo
‘Cause tonight I’m gonna see my ma cher amio
Pick guitar, fill fruit jar and be gay-o
Son of a gun, we’ll have big fun on the bayou

Thibodeaux, Fontainenot, the place is buzzin’
Kinfolk come to see Yvonne by the dozen
Dress in style and go hog wild, me oh my oh
Son of a gun, we’ll have big fun on the bayou

Jambalaya and a crawfish pie and file’ gumbo
‘Cause tonight I’m gonna see my ma cher amio
Pick guitar, fill fruit jar and be gay-o
Son of a gun, we’ll have big fun on the bayou

Settle down, far from town, get me a pirogue
And I’ll catch all the fish in the bayou
Swap my mon to buy Yvonne what she need-o
Son of a gun, we’ll have big fun on the bayou

Jambalaya and a crawfish pie and file’ gumbo
‘Cause tonight I’m gonna see my ma cher amio
Pick guitar, fill fruit jar and be gay-o
Son of a gun, we’ll have big fun on the bayou

Hank Williams Sr. “Jambalaya”

***********************************************************************

Sometimes, I just can’t countenance the randomness of
life.

I mean, why is the matter of Iraq even a debate?

What are we doing?

We have Darfur.

Before that, Rwanda.

Around the same time, Kosovo and Croatia.

There, we chose to intervene. Perhaps ten thousand
white people.

In Rwanda, close to a million.

Darfur, hundreds of thousands.

HERE’S THE DEAL.

We have as much control over the natural resources and
industry in those two African countries as we desire
at this point.

Our powers that be, the American crucible, decided
long ago that they cannot afford to have
another entire continent sucking at the tit of what
little milk mother earth has left.

So we ignore them. Take what we need, sprinkle
antibiotics on the corrupt governments so they can
sell them on the black market while we take more of what we
need.

We allow the Catholic church to forbid condoms, while
the people procreate and then die of sexually transmitted
disease.

Let’s be honest here; distribute condoms and tell
them how to use them if you want to at least begin
saving them.

But no. Our alleged morals prevent us from promoting
promiscuity.

What are we doing?

It’s fucking sick.

************************************************************************

We obsess over vacuous bimbos most likely blond. One
dead and the other imploding and unable to keep her
cooch away from a camera lense.

We simply, have no idea whatsoever.

As we live and contemplate our next purchase, there
are children that lack the strength to keep flies out
of their mouths. Worms emerge from their extremities
with excruciating pain . These people are sick and
death surrounds them. They suffer beyond our capacity
to imagine.

What are we doing?

And in our own country. We incarcerate more people
per capita than any nation on earth.

A storm, a massive storm, slammed our gulf region and
the damage and the people remain without solace. They
are forgotten in our own country.

Our veterans from a bullshit war, a war based on lies
that has done nothing more than make every aspect of
every angle look look foolish and greedy, our soldiers,
now languish in their own urine.

Dick-in Bush began their tenure as thespians on the world stage with Attorney General and freakshow John Ashcroft. Kept his penis in a Gerber babyfood jar on the nightstand and was genuinely offended by the naked breast of a one hundred year old statue. He walked.

Our aronists laureate replaced him with a good soldier. One wannabe member of the Fourth Reich named Alberto R. Gonzales.

And just today, we learn that Dick-in-Bush floated an idea that would have had U.S. Attorney General Gonzales fire all 93 U.S. attorneys and replace them with more like minded sycophantic cronies. Are you fucking serious?

Yes, I am.

The biggest thorn in the side of this administration thus far, and it ain’t saying much, has been an independent judiciary. Hardly independent after the highest court in the land handed the 2000 presidential election to a gibbon in a suit in a decision that was completely outside their jurisdiction. I mean, when it comes to procedural matters regarding voting, it’s clearly an issue of state’s rights. Why has no one else raised an objection based on this?

Seriously. I came up with that on my own. Never heard it anywhere else.

You all now owe me a can of beer. Cold.

As a result, eight were fired. Seven in the same day. For “poor performance”.

Today Alberto’s chief of staff, D. Kyle Sampson, walked away. Big suprise. He resigned because he is aware of just how far off the cliff the story is likely to go. Say…….plunging. I’m going with plunging.

Boys and girls, this is the judicial branch of our government we’re talking about here. The check to the balance. The deliberate erosion of such an institution will surely coincide with the atrophy of our republic. It is the last bulwark we have as a free people against
tyranny.

It’s sick.

What are we doing?

The ideas of truth and justice in this country have now become mere concepts. Both, archaic and obsolete.

************************************************************************

We have failed.

As a society.

As a country.

As a people.

We have failed.

This is really bad. We walk away. We play the lotto.
We watch reality TV. We suck.

Who’s paying attention? How often are we thinking
about this?

As I sit and type, our arsonists laureate plan the next conflagration. They replace the letter ‘Q’ with the letter ‘N’ and off we go.

What are we doing?

Thanks for indulging me……………..

Drinks for my friends.

Now they’re planning the crime of the century

Well what will it be?

Read all about their schemes and adventuring

It’s well worth a fee

So roll up and see

And they rape the universe

How they’ve gone from bad to worse

Who are these men of lust, greed, and glory?

Rip off the masks and let’s see.

But that’s not right – oh no, what’s the story?

There’s you and there’s me

That can’t be right

Supertramp “Crime Of The Century”

What are we doing?

Speaking Friday at the annual Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) in Washington, D.C., Coulter closed her remarks with: “I was going to have a few comments on the other Democratic presidential candidate, John Edwards, but it turns out you have to go into rehab if you use the word ‘faggot,’ so I – so kind of an impasse, can’t really talk about Edwards.”

This, from the same woman who, when commenting on her percieved latent homosexuality of Bill Clinton said “I don’t know if he’s gay. But Al Gore – total fag.”

Thanks Ann. I’m so grateful that you were able to frame the debate for us in such a way as to make it crystal fucking clear that all three individuals, their contributions to society, their intellectual prowess and their goodwill, are all rendered obsolete by your profoundly spurious assertion that they are gay.

You see, I’m quite sure that Ms. Coulter is the right wing equivalent of Andrew Dice Clay. It’s schtick. Dice admitted that his misogyny was an act. Coulter has yet to own her bigotry, homophobia and otherwise incendiary rhetoric as anything other than genuine. Perhaps it’s funny to the uptight diamond crapping rednecks and lone wolf Dick-in-Bush supporters, I don’t know. I stopped laughing a long time ago.

This simian phalanged cunt has done nothing more than pollute the once fairly pure waters of public discourse to the point where this sort of thing is not seen for what it is, but is rather held by conventional wisdom to be um , funny.

What a shame. What a goddamn shame.

The same woman who barked, with her overtly masculine adam’s apple bobbing in her freakishly elongated neck, “These broads are millionaires, lionized on TV and in articles about them, reveling in their status as celebrities and stalked by grief-arazzis. I’ve never seen people enjoying their husbands’ deaths so much.” She was of course, talking about 9/11 widows.

Again, thanks Ann. Bitchcunt.

I don’t doubt that someday the contents of Ms. Coulter’s closet will be revealed and we will then be treated to all manner of nefarious fuckery. There will likely be proof that she is indeed genetically male and the progeny of chimpanzees.

Either that or her secrets will remain with her to the grave and she will die prematurely from the sheer strain of holding those evil waters inside.

Really what it’s about is ignoring her. It’s simple. Ignore her. She’s chumping both sides. Schtick. We hate her, they love her. We are wrong and so are they.

Change the channel.

Drinks for my friends.