Archive for the ‘God’ Category

A colleague and I had a mildly intense but friendly conversation about politics the other day. I’m hoping I disabused him of few ridiculous notions but I doubt it. Maybe I gave him pause on one or two matters. I may never know. Interesting guy. Very bright, very calm and very friendly.

I really like my little department at the bank. It doesn’t suck that Skippy’s gone.

So, same colleague tells me he agrees with Warren Buffet’s remarks this morning. I wasn’t aware of what he said but told my friend that I thought Buffet was a bright guy. He characterized what he’d heard as Buffet saying that the Obama administration should limit it’s focus to issues economic and stop using the power of majority to ram a liberal agenda down the throat of congress.

I thought to myself, less than fifty days in, and we’re being accused of precisely what Republicans have been audaciously guilty of for the last eight years, plus twenty.

Oh the humanity.

Here’s what Buffet said:
Warren Buffett, an Obama supporter, famously described the economic crisis as an “Economic Pearl Harbor” — but now says Congress, especially the GOP, has failed to adopt an appropriately unified “Dec. 8th” mentality. -politico.com

“The minority really do[es] have an obligation to support things that are clearly designed to fight the war in a big way,” Buffett said. “I think the Republicans have an obligation to regard this as an economic war and realize you need one leader… I think the [Democrats] should not use it … to roll the Republicans.” -firstread.msnbc.msn.com

I asked my friend if he thought Obama’s executive order today lifting the ban on federal funding for stem cell research was an example of the gratuitous Liberal agenda. His answer was, “absolutely”.

In other news:
The daughter of Republican Sen. John McCain called President Obama “the hippest politician around” – then complained that being a member of the GOP is “about as edgy as Donny Osmond” and blasted conservative commentator Ann Coulter as “offensive” and “radical.” -nypost.com

This sort of betrayal pleases me to no end. I wonder how long before she’s forced to walk it back a little. It won’t be long before daddy starts to forget.

Doesn’t Meghan McCain have a big rack?

Also, the practise of organized religion is on the decline. Some 86% indentified themselves as religious in 1990. These days it’s around 75%. Salient point here is that’s a long way to go. We need it closer to fifty-fifty. I’d feel better.

Last but not least is Our Man’s signing of the executive order today. Not only is it an economic opportunity and therefore part of a much bigger picture, but it’s intended to help “restore scientific integrity in government decision making.” -whitehouse.gov

“Today, more than ever before, science holds the key to our survival as a planet and our security and prosperity as a nation. It’s time we once again put science at the top of our agenda and worked to restore America’s place as the world leader in science and technology.” – President Barack Obama -whitehouse.gov

See what I’m saying?

Drinks for my friends.

To not see a man’s eyes is hardly ever a comfortable thing. Take off your sunglasses if you want me to talk to you.

Giving is receiving, yet people are people wherever you go.

Forgive me for getting didactic on your ass, but I’m about to.

Electricity always goes to ground. So automatically, being “grounded”, looks like a bad thing.

I’ve lifted the ground, flopped the phase and inverted polarity. I have a friend who invented a device that allows for the shifting of polarity at any point along 180 degrees of the protractor. Other than that, I’ve devoted very little effort and much less time to the idea.

Fuck that. As a former electron director, I was obsessed with phase. Still am. Enough to feel guilty. I was a phase fag.

I dreamt about it last night. I wasn’t good at it. Woke up despondent. Cold feet, sweaty brow. Today kinda sucked.

It’s a tricky thing. It borders on Voodoo. Put the batteries in the remote incorrectly, effectively opposing the crest to trough relationship on which the appliance is designed to operate, and the circuit functions not at all. Drag. Might take you awhile to figure out if you’re baked.

Tesla invented the polyphase motor, making alternating current (AC) far more practical, efficacious and safe than Edison’s model for the distribution of electricity, direct current (DC).

Had Edison prevailed, it would have really sucked. We’d all been killed.

Mustard and pickles always on a grilled cheese. Always.

Flop the phase on the kick drum or bass guitar right before you print and sometimes the bottom end of the mix blooms or at least tightens. Sometimes Pandora’s box yawns long into nightmare. Polarity can be a drum of serpents.

I can’t tell you how many engineers I worked with that had no concept of phase. Any given piano in any given contemporary recording is at least forty five to ninety degrees out. If you reverse polarity and can’t hear a difference, you’re probably ninety degrees out. Do the math.

Wanna hear good phase on a piano? Fiona Apple, “Tidal”. That’s a large piano.

Well paid engineers, with two microphones literally facing each other and never even looking at the button on either module. That used to kill me.

I promise I’m going somewhere with this. Can you tell I like my subject?

Word has it the earth’s magnetic field may be inversing. The last such event, the “Brunhes-Matuyama reversal”, occured some 780 thousand years ago. Planet earth may be on the verge of reversing it’s polarity. It’s like the world is changing it’s own mind.

Speculation as to the effects are exploding. Migrating birds, fish and mammals suddenly unable to find their way. Dogs and cats living together. Republicans voting Democrat. Photomats making a comeback. Seismic events. Volcanic stuff.

I don’t worry about it because there’s nothing I can do.

On the other hand………

Almost without reservation, I welcome the rather dramatic shift in American politics that’s manifested over the last few years. Americans, indeed people in general, are reluctant to change, much less throw everything into reverse.

Now, with what appears to be a near consummate abruptness, people seem willing at least, to subsume drastic new direction. A can of beer for each of you.

No secret there, it’s because it’s all so completely fucked up.

Change is hard and not always good. Don’t doubt that it can be necessary. This movement is beyond necessary. It is vital. Our last best chance? We have long since lead the world in cutting off our noses, to spite or perhaps despite , our own faces. Incredibly reckless and self destructive behavior.

Fucking stupid.

We’ve behaved like dope fiends. An appropriate metaphor for how difficult, Herculean, this change will be, is that of a crackhead. Time for rehab kids. If you’re successful, you’ll alter your entire intellectual construct in order to exclude this addiction. You will change your own mind.

It will not be without considerable sacrifice and pain. The most pious and indoctrinated among you will suffer the most. It will, however, touch us all.

With that, some luck and hope or maybe your God, the crests and troughs will begin to align with more congruency, coherence and maybe cooperation. See what I’m saying?

Forty five degrees to right of north on the old oscilloscope.

For those of you who don’t understand or haven’t yet busted a move; “phase” is the best analogy. The simplest. This way or that way. Allowing greed, “values” and fear to dominate our very conversations about how we should and would be governed has been Democracy’s biggest mistake. As I write this, it is exactly why we are so fucked. Time to hit that button and walk the other way.

It’s trite, but one definition of insanity is performing the same action over and over while expecting a different result.

This one’s for Don Carlson.

Drinks for my friends.

Cheney and Gonzales indicted by grand jury. Stevens loses in Alaska and Lieberman gets to carry on while we try to move on. Tres Grandes beg for big cash and I can’t believe Our Man is smiling. Sheezus.

I hate that Benedict Fliptop gets off easy. He sucks. If he doesn’t owe, there won’t be an ounce of flesh from anybody else. No truth, no consequences. Harry Reid says nolo contendere. It’s done. Pussies. Flopsweat cowboys in big stupid hats.

“(CNN) — A grand jury in south Texas indicted Vice President Dick Cheney and former Attorney General Alberto Gonzales on separate charges related to alleged prisoner abuse in federal detention centers, Willacy County District Attorney Juan Angel Guerra told CNN Tuesday”

I hear this guy’s a bit of a loose cannon, already voted out of office and described by an underling’s lawyer as a “one man circus.” Whatever. Godlovehim. He got a grand jury to indict Gonzales and the VP. Get his headstone ready and make sure this deed is etched upon it. Let’s start an aluminium can drive to pay for it. Ha! Give that man a can of warm beer and an American flag. Lifetime supply of Slim Jims and special packages from Frito Lay, Hostess and Kraft. Free cable. Nascar tickets.

What we have here is an American.

Meanwhile, having just been dropped by an air & sea rescue helicopter onto the deck of the USS Fuck Me Runnin’, Obama had this to say via ship radio, “Wow, this shit is fucking whack. Where’s the goddamn bridge? We need an assload of helicopters ’cause we aint staying here. Si se puede get us the fuck out of here.”

HillRod for Secretary of State by God!

This man is walking towards the four horses of the apocalypse. He has a water pistol. I trust. He’s as good or better swordsman than anyone else who had a shot. Handy with a sixgun. He’s about to be ambushed by the full weight of the world. A world, in as close to as bad a shape as anytime in written history.

He knows this.

And he’s smiling.

Hands folded in his lap.

Looked Steve Kroft in the eye Sunday night and had a lot to say. Just as cool as could be. A full hour on 60 Minutes. *President Cucumber. Awe inspiring composure. The most intelligent and well executed campaign I’ve ever seen. Best that anyone alive has ever seen. He suffered the slings and arrows and just kept coming.

He just kept coming. Extraordinary and we’re about to find out how.

Will Atlas shrug?

I say, he’s not too sexy for his shirt.

Walk right out into a brand new day.

Drinks for my friends.

*nickname alert

Nothing smells like a tire shop. I loved it. Always a chrome gumball machine. Newspapers, car magazines. Displays of motor oil, fascinating three dimensional cutaway presentations of tread and steel belts. All kinds of shit to look at and the coolest smell.

Kinda like the Barbershop behind Cactus Jack’s. It had it’s own vibe and there were comic books from Andy’s Smoke Shop around the corner on Main Street. A guy named Bob took care of me and the Old Man. Light blue smocks and the scent of Barbicide.

The tall jar of aquamarine disinfectant filled with combs is something that fascintes me to this day. I have an overwhelming compulsion to put red striped straws in with the combs.

Someday I’ll do that.

Dad always went first so I could get started reading a comic. I didn’t like getting my hair cut and I don’t know why. I’m not sure we’ve ever understood each other but he always understood what I needed.

The apparatus, gauges, hoses and tools at the tire shop set my imagination of fire. Pneumatic engines and hydraulic lifts leave a huge impression on a six year old. They lift the whole goddamn car! The sound and power of pneumatic wrenches. Every man’s hands were dirty but they were all friendly and smelled of hair tonic and aftershave. VO5, Tres Flores, Hi Karate, Brut, English Leather or Avon.

They all chewed gum. Some smoked cigarettes while chewing gum. They rarely removed the cigarette from their lips. They talked, smoked, chewed gum and worked on cars.

The Old Man was polite and talked to them with respect. They liked him. He liked them. They saw he was a man who made a living with his hands. Mutual all the way around. His Detroit muscle needed new rubber. Mercury Cyclone. Dirty snow steaming on the edges of the parking lot. Coffee in flimsy styrofoam.

I really like the sound of guns being cocked and loaded in the movies. Know what else? When the bartender in a movie slams the shot glass on the bar and fills it with whiskey. Great sound. There’s a reason musical instruments are made from wood.

I collect marbles. They fascinate me. I know the best glass blowers in America and I own their work. I keep them in large, shallow crystal bowls. The sound as I pick them up and put them back is sublime. I can barely stand it when somebody picks up a bowl and they roll in chaos against the side.

I have somewhere between two and three thousand comic books. I collected them from the age of eleven to sixteen or so. I read every single one. I haven’t looked at them since then. They’re in boxes in my closet.

Did you know that Ralph’s supermarket brand of SpaghettiOs is far superior to that of Franco-American? Not so sweet and much cheaper. Half the price. I bought five cans for five bucks not long ago. Off-brand Spaghettios should be a staple in any pantry. Cheap and nutritious. They’re best cold, straight out of the can. Trust me, I know. Use a soup spoon.

I’m really afraid of bees. Can’t help it. Took a barefoot walk through some clover when I was two. Don’t remember it but it’s a preternatural fear.

The last day before summer vacation in seventh grade was overcast. I don’t recall ever feeling lonelier.

I miss the eighties and the nineties. I’d go back.

I’ve done heroin. Twice. I smoked it and snorted it. I’d been around it enough, I was young. I was curious. I’d already done just about everything else.

The lead singer from a band named Dumpster indulged me. His girlfriend was a falling pornstar with the ugliest pussy I’d ever seen. She brought him his rig every night around seven. His name was Robert. She showed up with a black lacquered box that was somehow ceremonial. She was thin and white. Tall and sweet. Brunette.

One morning he was there before me, missing an eyebrow. He and told us an elaborate story about waking up and finding it intact on his pillow. Laid out perfectly, he told us with a sweep of his hand. An interesting and angry man. Compelling. He liked life.

We were happy to be there.

He told me about getting hit in the head with a full beer can from a speeding car while walking down a highway in the South. He said he thought he had it coming because he was just some punk.

His left front tooth was broken, he shaved his head and had brilliant blue eyes. He reminded me somehow of Anton LaVey. Very, very smart. Confrontational by nature, aggressive if you happened to be stupid.

He hid behind being a hick sometimes.

The drummer showed me some porn Robert’s girlfriend starred in. That’s how I know she had beef curtains like aging cold cuts.

I wondered how ugly a pussy could be and I found out.

One night she brings his rig and we’re finishing early. He’s ready to use the lounge to tie off, boil it in a spoon and slam it in his veins. He’s done his best to abstain during the daytime for the sake of performance. I respect this. He already understands I’m curious and we get along very well.

He starts by telling me he refuses to take responsibility for what will probably happen next. I tell him a big boy and not to worry. I can take care of myself and I own my actions. He prepares brown powder on aluminium foil for me. He hands me a glass tube and lights the foil from underneath with a Zippo.

I chase the dragon.

He goes to the lounge.

It is bliss. I walk the halls of the studio and eat an orange. I drop the peels on the floor. Everything I see is gorgeous. Each step starts like thunder at my toes and ends as pillows in my head. I drive my piece of shit Bug home and sleep like an infant.

I get home by feel. Instinct.

The next night he chops it for me. Razor blades not hard to come by in recording studios. It’s brown, like cinnamon and sugar. I snort it and so does he. He takes me for a walk. Sunset and La Brea. He takes time to point things out, people and situations. I’m higher this time. Everything is so much bigger. Lights and sounds and smells are grandiose.

Hoy’s Wok mixed with Burger King, Wendy’s, a 50’s Diner and a Mexican joint named Acapulco. A gas station, a couple dry cleaners and an El Pollo Loco.

So content. So happy. Inspired by the largesse of a warm and swarming evening.

I would be fine walking with this volatile bastard all night.

I consider pissing myself because it sounds like a pleasant idea in my head.

I understood then. I could never, ever do it again. It is the best drug I’ve ever tried. That was fifteen years ago.

Never did it again.

Another in a long series of brilliant bands that the record company either didn’t get or didn’t have the stones to sign.

See, when you work with a band in a recording studio, you can’t help but become a member of that band to one degree or another. Almost without exception, you become an advocate of their vision. When you make an actual record, if a bond somehow doesn’t form, something is wrong. It is by no means a normal enviroment. At least twelve hours a day, sometimes twenty four. An intensely creative and challenging atmosphere. Often a pressure cooker of conflict over vision, the big picture or the very small.

I was a producer/engineer. I came to know and understand people better in weeks than people who’d known them for years. In different ways for different reasons. The archetype of the dumb musician rarely applied. As a group, they are very bright and intellectually curious. Almost always more politically aware and better informed that the average shopper.

Robert was no exception. Axl Rose was, he was a complete moron. Tina Turner was pure class, elegance and talent. Mel Torme was as cool as a man that age can be. Bono and the band turned out to be very nice people. Annie Lennox endured a ride to her hotel in my shitbox VW Bug. We talked politics while she had a spring up her ass.

Art Alexakis is very difficult to describe. He’s very bright and knows exactly what he’s doing. At the same time he’s volatile, cranky and unpredictable. We definitely had fun but he’s a handful. Excellent songwriter and brilliant lyricist. He may just be a miserable man with a big heart.

I would have been happy to beat C.C. DeVille into a coma.

Chrissie Hynde threw a sausage at my head and I made sure Tom Petersson from Cheap Trick didn’t get the shit beat out of him in a titty bar.

Kenny Aranoff used to get pissed at me for playing his kit at night but Jeff Porcaro (R.I.P.) never said a word. I played just about every kit that came through. Dean Castronova and Terry Bozzio. Jim Keltner, Steve Gadd and Stewart Copeland. Vinnie, Omar and Manu Katché.

Over the years I met, worked with and came to understand some of the most interesting people there are, famous or not. I paid my dues but understood I was lucky. Hindsight tells me just how lucky. For a few years I was A&M’s Demo King. Sometimes a different band everyday. One day it was cellos and woodwinds, the next it was banjos stand up bass and concertinas. Wind up the week with a hardcore punk band.

I want to squeeze my nose with a pair of pliers so that it bursts like a cherry tomato and the pain enters my head in the sweetest and most delicious way.

Seems like it rained more back then.

Always direct the pyroclastic flow towards the ocean.

Drinks for my friends.

I’m a proud American. I’m a patriot. Love it or leave it. Don’t you dare criticize. What other reason could you possibly have for objecting to wiretapping and surveillance unless you got something to hide?

Hell, I ain’t worried.

Like I said, I’m a patriot and I love my country.

Fisa can blow me, it always goes south when appointed judges stick their progressive dicks in it. Liberal judges legislating from the bench are not needed in these circumstances. Our government is just trying to protect us. It’s what they do. It’s what they’re there for.

If you can’t trust them, who can you trust?

Liberals need to relax while patriots can feel good about it.

Sure, I smoked a little dope when I was younger, beat up the occasional sissy. That was years ago. I’m a Born Again, so I love everybody now. I say let people do what they want. Within reason. Less government.

Dangerous times call for extreme measures and there’s no more dangerous times than now. The Arabs and the terrorists hate us for our freedom and want to kill us. Islam is a violent and hateful religion. They’re all crazy, you can’t talk to them. Fucking ragheads. Why don’t they just leave us alone? What did we ever do to them?

If it ain’t Communism it’s some Godless sandnigger religion. They say Barack Hussein Obama is a Muslim. It wouldn’t suprise me. He’s the most liberal member of the Senate you know. He’s friends with terrorists who would kill our own. Sounds to me like he’s one cousin removed from hating America.

What are people thinking? A black Muslim terrorist for President? Over my dead body. It’s why there’s that amendment that let’s us keep our guns. He wants to spread the wealth and that’s socialism. It’s pinko. Every American has the same opportunity, depends on what you do with it.

God created us equal, it says so in the Bible.

Don’t come to me if you’re a crack smoking welfare mom. I work. Don’t cry to me about your son getting involved in gangs. Get him a job. Put his ass to work. I work for a living.

Some of my good friends are blacks. Nice people but I didn’t own them or beat them. What do they want from me? It just so happens, they’re black and I’m white. It’s like I should regret being caucasian. Why should I feel guilt for the way I was born?

If you ask me, the only way to solve the mess is to nuke the whole Godforsaken region. Turn all that sand into glass. Iran too. Let God sort ’em out. Trust in God.

Goddamn right we need change. We’re in a real crisis. Mexicans stealing our jobs. Outsourcing. Fuckin gas through the roof. Liberals want to blame the white man. The American businessman. Good honest Christians who are being taxed and regulated to death for just trying to make a buck and go to church on Sunday in decent clothes.

Leave these people alone so they can create jobs and save this country. They are heroes. They deserve and need that tax break.

All these foreigners need to speak American. Say the Pledge every day including “under God” and respect our God, the one this great nation was founded on. A Christian God.

Why is that too much to ask? A little respect, you know? This is the greatest country in the world. Take off your hat and put your hand over your heart when our anthem gets played.

Call me a redneck, I don’t care because maybe that’s what I am. I love my country and I love Jesus Christ. He was a carpenter you know.

I gotta tell ya just because “Joe The Plumber” isn’t a plumber and his name’s not Joe and he can’t afford to buy the business he works for, doesn’t mean he isn’t Joe Sixpack and a regular American with the same problems we all have.

The Bible says an eye for an eye and that’s why abortion doctors sometimes reap what they’ve sown. I don’t condone it but I understand. Even if it’s rape, it’s not up to us to decide. I mean, a life is a life. The bible says so. Unless of course, if that life has taken another, or sold dope, or is a traitor or a terrorist. Face it, what better deterrent is there than the death penalty?

People should understand that we’ll kill them if they screw up in America. Justice should be swift and mighty. Every war, including this one we’re in now, is for justice and truth and democracy. Even when it’s really hard, America does the right thing. Always.

You know, W. is a good man. He made a few mistakes. All Presidents do. Nobody’s perfect. He cares about us. I feel it. He’s a good man. I’d really like to have a beer with him. I bet he’s friendly and regular. Cheney’s a little spooky but he’s just the brains of the operation.

So whatever about the gays. It’s a choice and there are consequences. We all pay a price for bad decisions and that’s one of the great things about America. Accountability. No way will this American stand for faggots who want to soil the Christian institution of marriage. It’s holy and sacred. Can’t you people just leave it alone? What difference could it possibly make in their lives and their futures?

It’s a symbol. That’s why they want it so bad. It’s just silly.

Show me a homosexual and I’ll show you a liberal. Wanna bet?

It’s like they think it will make them legitimate somehow. Uh, not in the eyes of this patriot.

In a lot of ways, it’s like the French. We saved their asses in The Big One. What have they ever done for us besides sneer and act like we’re bullies and brutes? Overcharge us for wine and cheese. Ingrates. Why do we bother?

Those countries that sell their oil to the Chinese instead of us; it might be time to introduce them to the United States Navy.

McCain fought to save us from communism. He’s got my vote because he’s a genuine hero. This Sarah Palin is sassy and real and they’re both mavericks. I like that. I don’t care how smart Obama is. That’s not was this is about. I’ve always been suspicious of book learning as opposed to street smarts. This guy Obama eats arugula and fish eggs. He went to Harvard. I think his wife did too.

Tea with a pinky out.

By the way, Michelle Obama has been ashamed of America. Only recently proud. Can you believe this shit? Now what does America, the best country in the world, have to be ashamed of?

You know what else bothers me? What does it say to the rest of the world if America elects an African American Muslim for President? The world respects us. We are the example. America is the bar. There’s a ton of responsibility there and we’re gonna be held accountable.

The one thing I can agree with the liberals about is the idea that this country has it’s head in the shitter.

We can’t afford this second guessing and insecurity when it comes too choosing our leaders. A man with over two decades in the Senate. A man who’s crashed four airplanes and is still with us. A woman who shoots moose. A woman who’s been both Mayor and Governor of the wilderness. Both these Americans are patriots.

A woman who doesn’t break a sweat while spending more than twice what most American’s make in a year on two months worth of clothes. She wants to look good for us.

A man who’s not afraid to call his wife a “cunt” in public.

Drinks for my friends.

Cone of silence.

This is asinine.

Sarah Palin in New York meeting with world luminaries, glistening and tarnished. I can’t believe this crap. At first, the McCain campaign (Insane in the Membrane), insisted no reporters be allowed to accompany the cameras. When the networks balked, they relented, but any questions or participation were strictly forbidden.

They’re so afraid she’ll spell potato with an ‘E’.

Not only is it insulting and unprecedented, it’s quite possibly sexist.

Since when is the press prevented from asking a single question of a candidate who would be President in a matter of months?

How can anyone possibly trust this ticket, much less it’s choice for Assistant Manager?

Now we learn that she allowed for a twenty four million dollar road to be built to the bridge to nowhere that was never built. It’s literally a dead end. A sign at the beginning says “No Outlet”. I understand the contract for the road was signed before What’s Her Name took office. Despite that, it’s enormously difficult to believe that a sitting Governor could not prevent the construction of a twenty four million dollar road that would serve no purpose whatsoever.

There’s even a paid employee to collect tolls on the road to abruptness. A road no one uses because it terminates at no actual destination.

How does three miles of asphalt cost twenty four million?

What did she do with the other couple hundred million?

Sheezus.

I am so sick of watching what was once the largesse of America’s middle class being squandered to increase the larders of those who don’t need it or deserve it. Again, to be fair, Democrats are nearly as guilty as their counterparts.

“ANCHORAGE, Alaska (CNN) — The legislative investigation into Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin’s firing of her public safety commissioner needs to go ahead despite the increasingly heated opposition of the McCain-Palin campaign, a leading Republican said Tuesday.

Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin is being investigated for the possibly improper firing of a state official.

Since becoming the Republican vice presidential candidate in August, Palin has halted her previously promised cooperation with the Legislature’s investigation of the July dismissal of Public Safety Commissioner Walt Monegan.”

Yeah, I just puked in my mouth a little.

I said before, can’t see her when she turns sideways because she’s two dimensional.

It’s interesting. Tonight I was talking to a very close, old friend on the phone. You bond when you make records together.

Anyway, we arrived at what is perhaps the most important difference between Republicans and Democrats. Harry Reid, US Senate Majority Leader and a family friend; his first bid for the Senate was my first campaign. I was nine. He’s really disappointed and pissed me off since he became Majority Leader. My friend mentioned Nancy Pelosi, Speaker of the House, and shared similiar disdain. We were in agreement.

Even our own cross lines we’re not comfortable with. They screw the pooch and they know it. We let them know.

Therein lies the rub. Republicans march in identical boots. They are far less likely to objectively evaluate legitimate criticism and even less able to actually oppose anyone belonging to the party. It’s infantile. Handicapped. Irresponsibly unconditional. Whores on crack.

The very foundation of their entire belief system is built with bricks of compliance, obedience and and a brand of piety as mortar that is potent and toxic and very strong.

Hardcore Republican Bible abusers are America’s biggest cult. The world’s most notorious and effective terrorists.

Fuck me, I just called religous folks terrorists.

But, um, yeah. Catholic vs. Protestant. Christian vs. Muslim. All of them against gays and half of them not affording women equality. It’s gone on for far too long.

The shit we get away with in the name of Christianity is astounding. The term Bible is intended more generically here. I’m talking about it’s ubiquity. Any religion that views a single tome as it’s covenant to judge and chastise the world because the bible tells them so is goddamn foolish. Fucked in the head.

Forgive the tangent but at least it’s germane. I’m thinking it’s time for a new nickname. Sarah The Pagan? A Pentecostal for thirty four of her first thirty eight years. I don’t claim to understand this particular theological bent but I know enough to tell you it can get pretty weird. They speak in tongues.

Pundits have been saying for weeks that we need to stop paying so much attention. She’s not worth it. She’s a distraction. That’s all true. Until today. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, as of today, she is meat. She’s been the GOP VP nominee for how many weeks now and she still hasn’t answered a single question?

Rick Plank says: Fuck that shit.

There was one interview. Charlie Gibson looking professorial and Ben Franklinesque. Pretty revealing. He wasn’t throwing softballs and allowed her to make a fool of herself. It was too subtle for the great unwashed as He probably had to leave his penis at home on a condition set by Doubtfire. I’m guessing he was angry he didn’t have his penis. He had yard after yard of muscular coils of rope for her to gag on.

Now that’s fucking sexist, bitch!

She showed up on Hannity. Anyone who would reference her performance at that venue in a positive way would have to be a complete shitsmear. Seriously people, don’t be trying to bring that kinda shiznit for my nizzle. I can’t believe I just wrote that. Wonder if I’ll leave it. You may never know.

I’ve decided to leave it to discourage you from taking me too seriously. I am not an Atomic Playboy. I do not fraternize with women of ill repute. There’s a decent chance I know things you don’t. That’s not to say you don’t know things I’m completely unaware of.

Stay with me. Stay on the motherfucker.

Drinks for my friends.

It is wholly appropriate for the velocity of the RNC to be so compromised by a hurricane falling to land on the Gulf Coast almost three years to the day after a hurricane named Katrina did the same. The response, to that storm, which Republicans fucked up so badly, it’s become a stain on the party and an avatar of of their compassionless failure and clueless ineptitude.

They didn’t even know how bad they’d screwed it up until it was almost over. By then, they didn’t care.

“The Republicans can’t seem to get a break when it comes to August and when it comes to the weather,” Karl Rove, -TPM

How convenient it morphed into a reason for preventing Dumbya and Darth from bearing witness; pariahs both in their own party. A little gift from Mother Nature to the Republicans. They clearly weren’t looking forward to that kind of steerage. Nevermind the cartage.

Laura Bush gets up and kicks it off by touting the unfunded mandate we know as “No Child Left Behind”. She says that apparently some fifty million people now live in freedom in Iraq and Afghanistan. Sheezus. First huge lie.

Still, I kinda like her. She has an absent minded dignity that’s a little infectious.

I only say that because somewhere, I have sympathy for her.

Next, we get Dumbya on the satellite. More POW bullshit. Standard bogus boiler plate lies. Empty words from an empty suit. Requisite references to 911. Yawn. I’m reminded for the millionth time that his eyes are too close together.

Thankfully, both speeches are brief.

Lotsa empty seats.

Well then, it’s the obligatory tribute to Reagan. A man who became the catalyst for the devastation of America’s middle class. A man who brought Russia to her knees by outspending them at the expense of America’s workers and the enrichment of the military industrial complex and therefore, the wealthiest among us. Trickle down economics my ass.

Reagan sucked. Why do Republicans insist on being so gay for him?

Fred Thompson’s speech blows. Sarah Palin. What a joke. He tells us the choice for her as VP has panicked the Democrats. Good luck with that. It does crack us up. What a tool. He touts her ability to “field dress a moose”. Do I need to highlight the obtuseness of that? I hope not.

We hear more about Doubtfire’s time in Vietnam. I respect his service and his sacrifice, but that’s where it ends with me. I’m impressed. But that’s it. He gives credit to Republicans for balancing the budget and rebuilding the military. Good luck with that too. He’s lying. The second huge lie. I think that was a guy named William Jefferson C.

John McCain will not feel the need to apologize for America. Arrogance. Then, what has become beyond trite and cliche, the tax scare and abortion. Republicans are still that stupid. Fred Thompson is that stupid.

What’s up with all the empty seats?

All the crowd can manage to chant is USA. They can’t seem to wrap a rythm around two syllables or four.

I guess Benedict Fliptop (Lieberman) is up next. Oh boy. I really hate this guy.

He goes to the economy and terrorism right away. He takes a swing at unity. The camera pans to Gingrich a handful of times. Curious. The camera finds a Black guy standing and clapping. Bonus.

Colbert would demand an Asian.

Lieberman tells us he’s a Democrat. Bullshit, He’s an Independent. Democrats abandonded him because he’s an idiot. Whatever. His speech is completely empty. No substance. I see a Democrats for McCain sign but ‘Democrats’ is spelled wrong. Take what you will from that.

I must tell you that although I’m an aspiring pacifist, I fantasize about punching Benedict Fliptop in the mouth. Hard. A haymaker. What a douchebag. The only reason he’s there is because he wants war to continue, he wants it to grow. All I see is a man who cares far more about Israel than he does America. I loathe him.

They have nothing. The Repubilcans have shown up to a firefight with those cool Star Trek toy guns that shot little plastic discs. Remember those? If not, please substitute squirt guns in your mind’s eye.

What we have here, is a failure to communicate.

There’s some post convention interviews on the floor as I leave CNN’s coverage. A group of delegates from Texas all dressed in matching outfits. They say they are proud of Dumbya for what he’s done for pro life issues and faith based institutions. They say it was painful to applaud to applaud Bill Clinton.

Forgive me here, but you’ve got to be fucking kidding me. All that goes on in the world every goddamn day and that’s the top of their goddamn list?

By the way, Campbell Brown rocks. She pissed on Tucker Bounds’ lunch. She did it with restraint and discretion and still cleaned his clock because he was woefully unprepared. I guess it cost Larry King a McCain interview tomorrow night. What a pussy is Doubtfire.

The demonstrations and the arrests continue to gain mass and attention. This may end up being half the story.

Drinks for my friends.

This is ridiculous.

He’s lost his mind.

The first half of the day, I was genuinely confused.

Sarah Palin?

Let’s begin with the abundantly obvious. She has been the Governor of a remote, sparsley populated state for less than two years. Proir to that she was *gasp*, on the city council, then Mayor of Wasilla, Alaska, a population of somewhere over five thousand. I assume they have traffic lights and indoor conveniences. Possibly an unsactioned militia or two.

Creationism is taught in the schools of her state and she’s on board with it. She’s anti-abortion and pro-gun. She’s practically Ted goddamn Nugent when it comes to hunting. Former aspiring beauty queen still squeezing out puppies at forty four years of age.

And they say she’s smart. A real go getter. Sheezus! Let’s consider her for Postmaster General.

The jacked up long shot political calculus is that they somehow think this woman can bring evangelicals, social conservatives, and as many ignorant women as they can fool.

Yeah, good luck with that. Keep swinging for the fences. Try using a bat.

What we have here, is as shallow and transparent an example of political brinksmanship I have ever witnessed in a Presidential contest.

Doubtfire has met her twice. Or maybe only once. We don’t know. He is seventy two. He’s had cancer four times. Both his father and grandfather died of heart failure at an age younger than he. He is saying that this woman is the best qualified person in America to be Commander in Chief should he lose the fifty fifty wager that he’ll take the dirt nap at any moment after his inauguration.

Are you comfortable with that? This is the only question I want Republicans to answer. Don’t tell me there are other factors or that it’s not the point because it’s the top of the ticket that matters.

Answer. Yes or No?

Forgive me kids, it’s just a little more suspension of disbelief than I can manage.

It’s reckless, irresponsible, stupid and selfish. The hypocrisy and hubris is profound enough to inspire my jaw to slacken so completely as to allow drool to spill freely from my face. Bear with me while I change my dampened blouse and fashion a bib.

James Carville could barely keep a straight face or suppress his own urge to laugh tonight on CNN.

It amounts to this. Game over.

I’m relieved that it’s not going to matter at all.

I’m pretty sure this latest boot heel on dick move by McCain will prove to be his demise. He’s done. Look for the fork wagging from his back. There will be a sign on it that says kick me, I just shit myself.

John McCain needs a riding lawn mower and some grass to cut.

Drinks for my friends.

Here’s something I do a lot. Contemplate. Remember, analyze and perseverate.

I think about shit. I can’t help it.

I have to say, despite most of us not actually dining on each other, we are brutal cannibals. I wonder what raw percentage of us kill another in a lifetime. I mean in a war, through criminal neglect or a car crash. Whatever. Bet it’s pretty high.

Yet, our various capabilities and intelligence as a species are far beyond anything to ever inhabit this tiny, microscopic sphere. As far as we know.

Telescopes so powerful as to allow us to see back in time. We got gear on Mars that talks to us constantly. It’s understood that the faster you go, the slower time is. We think it comes close to stopping once you seriously approach one hundred eighty six thousand miles a second. The speed of light. Basic relativity. Nothing new. Did you know time and space are pliable?

Dolphins and whales, mammals both, are closest to us in intelligence. They don’t even have fingers to dial a phone or run a calculator. Maybe their fins could work an abacus someday. I hope so. They seem to have a dignity and wisdom that humans lack. It occurs to me that most animals do.

We know dung beetles are over a hundred million years the same and we’ve long since made more than enough bombs to probably erase any evidence of ourselves.

It’s a theme I visit often. Our individual morality versus our collective ability to swing a sword ever more effectively.

Geologists, anthropologists and archeologists have successfully debunked the monolithic myth that is any Bible or religion, ancient or contemporary.

Here we have the competition in black and white. A bas relief. Right there in goddamn front of ya.

This is the race humans are running. We cling to fables and ancient justifications for things we didn’t understand and those we still don’t, while our capacities increase beyond our abilitiy to control them.

Realistically, the disconnect is emotional and spiritual. As a species and a community, we are not merely callow, but inept in any way having anything to do with any pursuit of right and wrong or responsible, individual morality.

Our demise will be the triumph of technology over the failure of philosophy and compassion.

We commit the error of substituting religion for philosophy over and over and over.

Having “faith” does not guarantee an advanced level of kindness or or anything like it. I observe it to be a likely indicator for prejudice and intolerance. I’ll be blunt. I think it’s stupid and counterproductive.

We all die and that’s all we can know. I don’t know about you but that fact lends me considerable humility. As far as I know I’m finite and so are you. Get over it. There is no Santa and your beliefs don’t make you special.

Somebody remind Darth Cheney.

What I’m trying to get to is this:

The longer people hold fast to these archaic notions about God, religion, nationalism, patriotism, jingoism, et al, the faster we race headlong and pell mell towards the abyss of extinction.

The good news is the Earth will survive us. She’s just as responsible for shaking us off as we are for killing ourselves. Maybe she’ll give the insects the next big chance. Who knows? I’m pulling for the fish with hair.

Drinks for my friends.

McCain: “In The 21st Century Nations Don’t Invade Other Nations”

Sheezus!

This from a moron who doesn’t understand the difference between Sunni and Shia or that there even is one. This from a man so obtuse as to say in a primary debate that Americans are better off than four or eight years ago. This from a man so ignorant and stupid as to describe an appearance in Baghdad acommpanied by blackhawk helicopters and dozens of heavily armed soldiers as no different than a Sunday afternoon stroll in some bucolic American neighborhood.

Word is he’s thinking about Lieberman as a running mate. That beats Romney in absurdity by a mile.

The problem is that this idiot is a serious contender for President of The United States. The problem is that there are that many dipshits voting.

Obviously, Iraq means America and the Bush administration have virtually no credibility or authority regarding the conflict between Russia and Georgia. So absent either in fact, they look silly trying to talk about it.

Russia has basically invited Dumbya to piss up a rope.

The Keystone Cops, indeed.

Next we have this asswipe, Jerome Corsi, dropping another turd of a tome filled with copious quantities of complete bullshit about Our Man. The aforementioned voters, well, the ones that can actually read, will no doubt hoover this crap like it’s the next New Testament or some cheesy bodice ripper with extra large print and a diminutive number of adjectives.

I cannot wrap my brain around the fact that this is even a contest. I’ve said that before. I doubt it’s the last time. I can’t help but lament what looks for all the world like willful ignorance. Ten percent still believe our man to be Muslim. So what if he was? Turns out he’s a Christian. At least he’s nondenominational. I have no more or less respect for Christians than Muslims. Why would I? I’ll bet the ratio between crazy fanatics and well intentioned altruists is near identical.

Who knows how many Muslims are pedophiles with autonomy granted by their faith?

Wake up. Muslims are no more a threat than any other group, religion or country on this bright blue marble. What will it take to convince the great unwashed to stop panicking at shadows and think for themselves?

People amaze me.

For the record, I’m reading Vincent Bugliosi’s “The Prosecution of George W. Bush for Murder” and he’s pretty pissed. On Deck is Pasty McSquinty’s “What Happened”. I’m really looking forward to Ron Suskind’s new one.

Whatever.

Drinks for my friends.

Americans have become so painfully obsessed with morality we’ve all but abandonded ethics.

Too many steer by some absurd moral compass as opposed to basic rules that any group of humans should abide.

I’ll put that another way and not to make you more comfortable. We’re so ridiculously consumed with judgement and diving for a role to render it, we’ve abandoned common sense and the idea of walking in the shoes of another.

Tragic in more ways than one could possibly swing a dead cat.

The rub is thus, morality is nebulous and subjective. More than vulnerable to wrongheaded interpretation. Ethics are hard and fast rules, based more on the doctrine of ‘do unto others’, rather than the ‘don’t covet thy neighbor’s wife’ school of thought.

See? One is Jello. The other is currency.

Don’t bother telling me I can’t lust. I have no control over it and refuse to beat myself up for it.

Those who value morals over ethics, go home, cook up some lime Jello and cover your gold bullion with it. If you’re not rich, you’re obviously stupid. If you’re stupid, try mayonnaise and pineapple on top. It’s tasty.

The wealthy can afford to perpetuate a moral code of their own because they have money to cover their asses and it’s a wonderful vehicle for them to exert influence and control.

We have ethics. Trust me when I tell you it’s better to have ethics than the morals of anyone else.

Pineapple and kiwi make my tongue itch and swell. The sides of my tongue will then chafe against my bottom molars and cause considerable discomfort for a few days.

Morality inevitably sucks compassion and sensitivity out of a society if allowed to commence without check.

I have my own moral code. I struggle with it. It is mine, I’ve no desire to foist it on anyone else. I may have set my bar a bit high but it’s better than too low.

At the same time, I expect that others will not steal from me, betray me, treat anyone without equality or kill anyone I love. These are ethics.

They seem elementary. They are. There is a myriad of ways to break these simple rules, however.

My particular morals are an extension of ethics. As it should be, but they are my individual rules. I decide these things myself. They are mine. I endeavor to keep them to myself.

But, I’ll share a little for the sake of example. I do not betray confidence, especially if I understand that something bad has happened. I wouldn’t protect a serial killer mind you, let’s just say I possess secrets that will never experience sunlight on my behalf because it wouldn’t change a goddamn thing.

I don’t care who you fuck, why or how, as long as it’s consensual and not my girlfriend. I believe war is immoral unless we’re attacked or know for sure we will be. I believe the rich should help the poor and shouldn’t seek tax loopholes or to hide their filthy lucre in offshore accounts.

I believe I don’t want fuck all to do with your church, your thoughts on abortion, sex, contraception, civil rights et. all. Those are morals generated and perpetuated by a religious bureaucracy that is absent accountability or logic and insists on defying the brick and mortar fundament of ethics.

It is unethical in every way to fuck little boys or exploit the poor by taking their money. It is a betrayal and a theft to posit that God favors one political candidate over another. It is a betrayal to insist creationism is taught in any classroom or to withold any information about birth control.

Any grey area associated with issues like these are afforded by someone’s morality. Ethics remain crystal clear.

I trust my friends to go further. We are friends and I will not take advantage, exploit or lie to them. My real friends see it the same way. We are here to support and enrich each other. I try very hard not to lie to anyone.

If I don’t give a mad fuck about you, I might lie to you. Morals.

Drinks for my friends.

I watched the American Women’s Gymnastics team at the Olympics tonight and had two thoughts:

They are amazing. They tease and defy gravity with muscle and balance. Fascinating and compelling.

I felt vaguely pervy as these are not women, but girls, who’s physical maturity has been suspended by vigorous athleticism.

I can’t stand it. It just goes on and on.

Blatant.

Notwithstanding reason.

Geniuses and Jack O’ Lanterns.

The issue is this.

Abortion.

The right tries so hard to call it murder. Ahem.

It is far more nuanced and organic than that. They only do black and white.

Mother Earth will ultimately decide the the fate of humankind. She will be fine. She will prosper. The Earth does not need us. All the Earth needs is the goddamn Sun. Last I heard, the sun is gonna be around awhile.

Earth may decide that humans are no longer compatible with her goals. Her ideals. No longer congruent with her plan for survival. In a time not far from now, The Earth might shrug us humans off. She might just heat up and burn us out.

If she does this, She’ll have decided we do more harm than good.

If she does this, She’ll have decided to save her life and that of all her other inhabitants.

Who can blame her?

Maybe we’ve been tolerated thus far because we advanced so rapidly. We emerged as a species so very capable. So bright and creative. We made art and beauty while either reaching out with compassion and concern to everyone, or raping, bombing and killing every civilization in sight.

We stormed her peaks, plunged her depths and polluted her lungs. She’s seen us kill on a scale that is both awesome and terrifying. In a mere few thousand years, we developed the ability to destroy just about every life she births and nurtures.

She is impressed. Not in a good way.

Earth doesn’t need your language. You need hers. It’s not as simple as humans not understanding. It’s as ugly as humans refusing to understand. Willfull ignorance.

Mother Earth may choose to abort us. It is certainly her right and obviously within her power.

The Earth is a Mother and it is her prerogative.

Men have no business passing laws governing a woman’s reproductive rights.

Any of you at this point desiring to invoke God should just shut the fuck up. My God is The Earth. In precisely the same way you do not wish to hear about my God, I’m not interested in hearing about yours. Fuck off. I think your’s is stupider by far, than mine.

It is my right to enter into a decision with a woman about our pregnancy as opposed to allowing a religion manufactured from convenience dictate our direction without regard to our lives.

The comedy is this. You that have so much faith, so much conviction that we are acting counter to the wishes of your God, why are you so unwilling to let your God decide?

Why are you so zealous as to kill doctors to prevent us from committing this “sin”? After all, your God will sort us out, wont he? If you believe so absolutely, what are you so worried about?

Is your faith so weak as to force a question about your God’s ability to keep us heathens in check? A question profound enough to force your hand to take it upon yourself? You will say that we imprison others in society who commit murder. We even murder them. I say your definition of murder is flawed and you’re not equipped to judge.

You do your cause no favors by vehemently opposing such basic science as evolution and stem cell research. You force the hands of us with a modicum of common sense to look at you as retarded. Overly enthusiastic, euphorically fanatical, idiots.

Isn’t it your God that would deny us access to Heaven for using condoms?

Some people are stupid enough to believe contraception is a “sin”. This in a time when the world has way too many humans. Some people are just fucking stupid.

Abortions will occur. With or without your consent. The rich will have them no matter what laws you’re able to pass. The poor will suffer. Ill equipped to even bring a baby to term. Unable to afford any prenatal care. From a practical perspective, I’m just looking to keep the coat hangers out of it.

Drinks for my friends.

I used to see movies or television shows that depicted unbalanced people and think such a fate was impossible for me. I’d wonder at how it could actually happen. I imagined the unlikliest of scenarios.

I know what it’s like to be crazy. I once took a few too many fistfulls of mushrooms and lost my shit. Ever since then I’ve understood how tenuous a grip my mind has on sanity. Reluctant even. A a careless mistake or a tragedy away from not much sense at all.

A few years ago, as a result of an inordinate amount of stress, I began to have panic attacks. I was sure I was about to die. It was a temporary suspension of sanity and they were surgically debilitating.

I respect how close to an edge I am.

Dark days. My ten year relationship was ending, my job and boss as well as my best friend were imploding, financial pressure reared it’s head and my most beloved cat friend died abruptly.

I was losing my shit.

I went to doctors, sought counseling, ended up in therapy and on a serotonin re-uptake inhibitor.

I’m better now thank you very much, although I remain more than cognizant that the wall separating me from madness is paper thin. When the light is right, I can see right through it. I also know that the longer I remain on this side of that wall, the stronger and more impervious I become.

I wonder if I’m like most people who can’t help but dance around the maypole once in awhile.

I can actually see sound. I look at a bug and spend at least the next five minutes imagining invasion by it’s species. I can drink a quart of cheap scotch, eat some tin cans and consume a pouch of chewing tobacco and keep it down. I think of something random however, and puke til I dry heave. My biggest fear is the car accident but I drive like a maniac. I’m a germaphobe but my place is a wreck. I make up names for random people I encounter in public settings. Often I have a different name in mind for people right before we’re introduced, making it more difficult to remember their actual name.

I love unopened presents. One of the first things my shrink pointed out was that I was a chronic perseverator.

My dreams are blind shit house nuts. Frying my own feet, spatula in hand, in a skillet on top of hot plate, on top of a cheap vinyl flower print dining chair, my amputated ankles underneath, in a Boston apartment with green shag carpeting.

I obsess the minutiae and disregard the macro. It get’s me into trouble.

So, on top of all this, I regularly encounter people who lack fundamental reason. Logic. Rationale. On TV, on the radio, the internet and at the 7-11. They are crazy. Few dare to divulge the deranged stain on these human tiles, thus they are everywhere I go or even look.

They voted for Dumbya and have no moral or ethical dilemma with leaving a wad of gum under a table, bigotry or putting the family pit bull in the ring for a little cash. How much you wanna bet they worship regularly and invoke God consistently?

Forgive the tangent. I’m not here to preach, at least not tonight. Once in awhile I just get started and let the point find itself.

I suppose part of my point is that you, we, cannot afford to deceive ourselves.

I realize I fall well outside the sphere of what’s held as typical or normal. I like that. Let me just say that a good number of you what takes comfort in those labels or even deign to hide behind them are not fooling anyone but yourselves.

See, you think of it as you against us. We don’t. We look at it more like us for the rest of us and you’re welcome to come along.

What’s going on in America right now is a battle of ideologies. It’s brilliant and tragic irony that our own government is fomenting that polemic about the rest of the world.

Unfortunately, far too many of you don’t understand either wrangle. You keep staring at the trees instead of thinking about the forest. Get over yourselves.

Stop pretending you know why you’re here. No more assuming you have the answer because you do not. Start thinking more about the question.

Let me give you a heads up, two men standing on the corner, both claim to be Jesus. One of them has to be wrong.

Drinks for my friends.

Yesterday we learned Dick-in-Bush would be sending one of it’s “most senior diplomats” to Switzerland to meet with Iran’s top nuclear official.

Today we learned of the Pentagon’s intention to shift troops from Iraq to Afghanistan earlier and more precipitously than anticipated or forecast. They told us everything was fine………

Tonight, Rush (the band) appears on the Colbert Report.

It is America’s smartest day in over seven years. It’s not saying much but I had to mention it.

Dumbya has broken with stated, fucking shouted, obdurate policy.

Oil went down for the second day in a row, further than it has in seventeen years. The NYSE rallied after having it’s ass handed to it for month after hemorrhage after month after hemorrhage. The Bear is back.

There is some idea that as a result of conservation, demand is down so oil speculation is down. Were that the truth, I’d be encouraged. I’m not saying it’s not possible, it’s just not happening yet.

Really, wouldn’t that be cool? A collective effort on part of the American citizenry having a global effect? Yes, that would be cool. It would be empowering.

Forgive me but that’s not what’s happened. Exercises in the Gulf weren’t doing the trick. More missiles should have been photoshopped I guess.

Us sending a diplomat to Switzerland is what happened.

It wouldn’t hurt at all for us to conserve and I don’t doubt that it could have a profound impact on the global economy. The onus is on us as the preeminent species to manage air, food, water and fire anyway. It’s an ecological mandate.

Unfortunately, the entire planet seems to be in an ugly state of nationalism. It’s almost as insidious as religion. It’s as though we seek to define ourselves by our differences while there aren’t so many when compared to our commonalities.

I’m here to tell you that if we don’t start thinking as a people, as opposed to American or Mexican or Catholic or Jew or Muslim or Arab, we will be responsible for our own extinction. It is inevitable. The only guarantee of survival is compassionate cooperation among all people.

We’re such assholes. That’s never gonna happen. Oh well, sorry I brought it up.

Did you know that it takes about two and a half bottles of water to manufacture the bottle you’re drinking water from? Did you know that fuel from corn is one of humakind’s stupidest ideas? Did you know that “bowtie” or “farfalla” pasta is the champion pasta shape for more delicate sauces? It works with gravies of medium density as well. Farfalla means butterflies in Italian. Make sure you use butter and capers.

If it were me instead of Obama, I’d have a tough time sleeping in the same room Dumbya had for eight years. Poor bastard.

Drinks for my friends.

My cat has been peeing on me lately. Seriously. She sneaks behind while I lean forward on the couch working the keyboard and performs a hot moist drive-by on my lower back. She’s in heat, Got to get her fixed. She’s crazy like a shithouse rat and I’m a broke ass procrastinator.

I’m disgusted but it cracks me the fuck up.

You can’t actually expect to communicate consistently and effectively with any given cat. They really just choose to understand what is in their best interest. They love and understand you with laser accuracy. If you’re confused because Einstein Feline can’t be taught some basic thing, ask yourself who benefits. The answer will be you and there’s a good chance you’ll never get your way.

If you’re looking for the upper hand, get a damn dog.

She’s very petite girly girl with the longest tale to body ratio I’ve ever seen. It touches her face. Wouldn’t be suprised if she was under six pounds. Outstanding jumper. Bed to the top of my over six foot bookcase with the grace of a flying squirrel.

She trots into every room with the urgency of feline curiosity and a dancing tail.

Le Chat Noir.

I’ve got several plants and a young ficus about to expire on the balcony because of heat and laziness. When it comes to phlegmaticalness and brutal temperatures, I try not to move much. Pretty cool word huh? I avoid exertion and soup. I love soup and adore soup weather.

This is not soup weather.

Now is not the time for soup unless The Fish makes it. She understands completely.

This is gonna be a brutal season and I intend to lay low.

I’ll try to maintain some focus on this election I suppose, but I’m thinking of a good Rose’ and some barbecue.

Gotta get me some popsicles and creamsicles.

Just so you know, I don’t like most people. I’m an elitist, in that I think most people are douchebags.

I have one of the world’s most impressive handblown marble collections. I’ve sold more glass penises than anyone else on earth. Therefore, I know about as much about glass as any layman can.

I’m somewhat of an expert on music and sound. I have a bullshit degree and worked as an engineer/producer for a decade or so. I was pretty good at it.

Now I sell an intangible. This pleases me if only because stock and inventory are no longer a factor. They’ve been this grown man’s nightmare for years.

I’ve gotten word that someone who owes me a shitload of money is going to pay up soon. That makes me smile.

I’ve almost finished the first draft of my first novel. I imagine that there will still be a lot to do but it’s a good tired. I have a friend with multiple impressive writing degrees and she has pledged to work through it page by page with me. How fortunate can a dipshit be?

“I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched c-beams … glitter in the dark near Tanhauser Gate. All those … moments will be lost … in time, like tears … in rain. Time … to die.” -Blade Runner

Life is crazy and I often wonder if I’m conducting mine responsibly. Correctly. I have no idea but I’m confident I can do much better.

I think I want to see the sun on the ocean.

I like girls a lot. I like boys too, but in a different way. I’m ok with it. I’m pretty sure I was born that way.

It’s been a while since I expressed my fondness for any cheese product in any kind of jar, plastic container or can with a nozzle. Let me tell you that they are among the products I’d miss the most on a desert isle.

No bacon or pork would really suck.

Wild Boars, heh.

Beans, onions, pasta, tomatos. I simply cannot afford to get stuck in any remote or abandoned place. It’s ok. I’m making a note. It won’t happen if I take a note.

By the way, who exactly does Jesus save?

I learned today that our own solar system is dented. Not symmetrical. From probes launched by NASA in 1977:
“Voyager 2 hit the southern edge of the solar system nearly 1 billion miles closer to the sun than Voyager 1 did to the north. Voyager 2 hit the edge at 7.8 billion miles from the sun.” -Yahoo News

Apparently, what lies at the end of our solar system is something called the “Heliosheath”. This may be the coolest word ever, naming the coolest thing, “the thick edge of the solar system”, I’ve ever fucking heard.

I want to be a superhero named, Heliosheath.

A few weeks ago I found myself in a place where I was the only white male. I didn’t think twice about it. I’d been there before. I’m a people watcher gawker. So I just stared at everyone the same as I would regardless. They didn’t seem to mind. I was with my girlfriend, she is of the color and on the pot. She thinks my nappiness is suspicious and that walking in to a place like that with her gives me the benefit of the doubt.

They assume I’m mixed. I’m honestly starting to think I am. Fascinating. I just want to know.

I just went in and cracked her on the ass a few times.

I’m not sure it would be wise to say more.

Drinks for my friends.

This my territory, so I’ve posted my response first. The blog I’m responding too appears at the bottom:

I am saddened that such a clearly intelligent man has succumbed to fear and propaganda.

You say:
“I am tired of liberals who see only negativity in America; racism in her people, class warfare in her society, and flaws in her character.”

Do you imagine these things don’t exist? They do. For many, they are a part of everyday existence. A fact of life. You’re a white Christian Republican male, you will have to look outside yourself to see these phenomena. Burst your bubble my friend. It takes some courage but we can never come together unless you’re willing to see the world objectively. You’ll need to remove yourself from the equation to accomplish this.

We liberals are way ahead of you in that regard.

You say:
“I am deeply troubled by the Democratic Party which nominated John Kerry, whose qualifications revolved around labeling the honorable men and women who fought in the Vietnam War (58,000 of whom gave their lives in that action) as murderers, rapists and war criminals.”

Do you posit these things never occured? They did. He wasn’t labeling all of them, he was pointing it out. Many “incidents” are documented. They were horrifying. America fucked up. It’s embarrassing that you are only able to define Kerry in those terms. Is that really all you allowed yourself to see?

You imply we liberals are godless and lazy, unwilling to work and hate America. You are not only guilty of generalizing and stereotyping, but of drinking the neoconservative Kool-Aid.

I have worked hard my whole life. Had my own business at thirteen. Managed a restaurant at seventeen and was a recording engineer/producer by age twenty eight. Triple platinum by thirty one. Now finishing my first novel. And I don’t believe in your God.

Thank you for a genuine example of ingorance, bias and baseless piety.

Forgive me. Believe it or not, it doesn’t serve me to attack you as an individual. I’m actually fairly certain you are a good and decent man. It’s the ideology you so enthusiastically embrace and foment that I strive to to tear apart. It is false and wrong and the catalyst for evil on a level we have never seen in this country.

You say:
“I still pray that God will open the eyes of those ill-informed members of our society who, either through ignorance or deliberate malice, repeatedly attack and belittle those of us who believe in self-empowerment for all. I am grateful to have lived in a nation that gave me the freedom of self-determination and the right to benefit from my own personal achievements.

News Flash. I believe sincerely in self empowerment for all and I’m grateful to live in a country that has provided me with the freedom to pursue self determination and feel fortunate to have benifitted from personal achievment. I just don’t buy into your God.

Please wake up and look around.

**************************************************************************************************

His blog in it’s entirety:

Ask most any member of the main stream media elite, and a growing number of high school and college students, along with their teachers and professors, “What is a Republican?” and the response will likely include words such as, “greedy, self-centered, motivated only by money, unconcerned for the environment, the poor, and everyone they exploit.”

I am none of those things; I am simply a man who is proud of his country, and it’s hard-won heritage of liberty and justice for all. My own father fought two world wars to preserve freedom, and died at an early age as a result.

So, what is a Republican? I can only speak for myself.

I went to work at age 12, joined the Navy at 17, and went to war at 18. I started my own business at age 25 and worked 70, 80 and sometimes 100 hours a week for years, risking everything I had – including my health – to secure a better future for myself and my family. My own blood, sweat and tears made it possible for me to provide a secure living, not only for my family and myself, but also for literally hundreds of employees through the years, who in turn were able to buy their own homes, raise their own families, and give back to their communities and their country.

I am a Christian who loves God and his church, and who was taught to respect all religions whose teachings are based in love, peace and charity. I believe that God blessed this country because of the principles upon which it was founded. If you doubt God’s blessings still happen in today’s world, you need only look into the face of one who has received them.

I am a father who believes in the sanctity of marriage and the preservation of the family. I believe in the sanctity of life and am repulsed by the political left who pander for votes at the expense of the unborn. I am disgusted with the courts who rightly call the murder of a pregnant woman a double homicide, and then declare that the murder of an unborn baby is a constitutionally protected “woman’s right to choose.”

I am proud that our President expresses a belief in God; proud to have voted for a President who understands – politically incorrect tho’ it may be – that there is evil in this world. For the sake of all people everywhere, that evil must be confronted, and it must be defeated. I take comfort in the knowledge that our President refuses to allow decisions concerning the security of this nation to be governed by the political whims of foreign governments.

I understand that the terrorist attacks that murdered thousands of my fellow Americans can happen again. That’s why I sincerely believe America needs, now more than ever, a President who sees with a clear and focused vision and who speaks with a voice that – when heard by friend or foe – is understood, respected and believed.

I am eternally grateful to Ronald Reagan for speaking out against Communism and for having the courage of his convictions in leading the fight to defeat it; and to George W. Bush, who – in spite of the constant, vicious, personal and political attacks both he and his family have been forced to endure – has demonstrated uncommon vision, courage, conviction and leadership in America’s war against Islamic Global Jihad.

I am tired of liberals who see only negativity in America; racism in her people, class warfare in her society, and flaws in her character. I am also fed up with politicians who, when held up to public scrutiny, divert attention from their own personal, political and legislative failures by accusing their opponents of “mudslinging” and using negative attack ads.

I am deeply troubled by the Democratic Party which nominated John Kerry, whose qualifications revolved around labeling the honorable men and women who fought in the Vietnam War (58,000 of whom gave their lives in that action) as murderers, rapists and war criminals. That same Democratic Party has now embraced Barack Obama, another Harvard liberal elitist whose only claim to fame is that he was a Communist organizer and a member of a black separatist church for twenty years.

I still pray that God will open the eyes of those ill-informed members of our society who, either through ignorance or deliberate malice, repeatedly attack and belittle those of us who believe in self-empowerment for all. I am grateful to have lived in a nation that gave me the freedom of self-determination and the right to benefit from my own personal achievements.

I am blessed to be an American, and proud to be a Republican.

A friend of mine recieved some insipid spam from a relative. She agreed to let me write this but I have not been allowed to send it yet. I’m not holding my breath. Anything in quotes is verbatim from the letter/spam.

I begin.

The Bible, it does speak about untimely death, doesn’t it? I keep forgetting about that untimely death thing.

“Be not deceived; God is not mocked:
for whatsoever a man sow,
that shall he also reap.”

The idea that we reap exactly what we sow. I just can’t seem to pile on. I do believe in doing the right thing. I can’t be sure it makes a difference, but at the end of the day, might as well. Even us agnostics try to do the right thing. We like to do it correct whether we reap or not.

You make another point about people who “mocked God”. Your very first example is John Lennon. In parenthesis “singer”.

Just a singer huh?

Lennon said:

“Christianity will end, it will disappear. I do not have to argue about that. I am certain.
Jesus was ok, but his subjects were too simple, today we are more famous than Him’ (1966).”

“Lennon, after saying that the Beatles were more famous than Jesus Christ, was shot six times, even though he was probably right.”

It’s interesting. See, if Lennon was right, he was right about the failures of organized religions to inspire and motivate beyond his own humble four piece band’s ability to do so.

Duh.

“Marilyn Monroe (Actress)
She was visited by Billy Graham during a presentation of a show.
He said the Spirit of God had sent him to preach to her.
After hearing what the Preacher had to say, she said:
‘I don’t need your Jesus’.
A week later, she was found dead in her apartment”

“Bon Scott (Singer)
The ex-vocalist of the AC/DC. On one of his 1979 songs he sang:
‘Don’t stop me; I’m going down all the way, down the highway to hell’.
On the 19th of February 1980, Bon Scott was found dead, he had been choked by his own vomit.”

Yes, it’s quite clear that god killed them for their mockery and overall disrespect. They were pagans. Barbarians.

I have to say that if this is all you can find in the entirety of Christian history of peope who have “mocked God”, you my unknown friend, are reaching for shit I can’t even be bothered to make fun of.

Then I see it’s some sort of chain letter and I want to send vicious people after you.

I don’t know you but it makes me wonder who you think you are to spread this sort of incendiary, vitriolic bullshit. If you honestly believe John Lennon was some sort of threat to your imaginary friend in the sky and that he lost his life for it. You are one dangerous dipshit and a goddamn fool.

May Bon Scott dine on your viscera.

Drinks for my friends.

I hesitate to bore you with the facts, but today is either Labor Day or Memorial day.

That of course, means one of two things. Members of one of two groups will definitely get the day off. That’s pretty big. See, a lot of other Americans get the day off to honor one of those groups.

Thus, a lot of us benefitted from what one of these two groups sacrificed at some time in the past. I’m not entirely sure who they are or what they did for me. I’m unemployed so it really doesn’t matter. I had the day off anyway.

I think I’m channeling Andy Rooney.

So Dumbya heads to Arlington or wherever, with a wreath. Many of us dash to a head stone doing our best somber tango.

I’m pretty sure it’s Memorial Day.

By no means do I intend to impugn the fallen or loved ones who survive them. The wounded, the maimed, the broken, the burned, the limbless or the permanently fucked in the head. Not at all. When I think of all of you, I just can’t stand it. It’s tragic and the epitome of unfair.

“And I will not accept from Senator Obama, who did not feel it was his responsibility to serve our country in uniform, any lectures on my regard for those who did,” -Doubtfire via USA Today

“At issue is an expansion of the GI bill that would guarantee full college scholarships for those who serve in the military for three years.” -USA Today

As you may know, I don’t covet oversimplification. This one however, seems ripe for an Alley Oop. Check me here, but it’s seems McCain is declaring that only those who have volunteered for our nation’s military have a dog in this hunt for equitable treatment of our troops and veterans.

For the sake of argument, let’s go with that for a minute. Why don’t we allow those very same people the Little Bootlicker believes are the exclusive group worthy of voice in this matter, to indeed be the ones to decide?

Let our troops, veterans and if you’re feeling generous, their loved ones, determine the fate of this bill.

Ha! What do you think they’d have to say? I’ll give you one painfully obvious swing at the softest of pitches. Hint: Doubtfire would miss it for the same reason he can’t comb his own hair.

I’m saying he would guess wrong because he’s pretty much on his own planet. His planet is moving away from our sun.

The Little Bootlicker sat out the vote. He’s on record as opposing it. Courage of his conviction?

Our man and the Pantsuit: In favor, and showed up to say so.

Used to be, you served, you got taken care of. I guess we can’t afford that anymore.

Republicans as a rule, stand on the shoulders of our armed forces pretending to champion them while shitting all over their heads and shoulders. They always have. I hesitate to bore you with facts, but you’d do yourself a favor to do a little research into what our men and women are coming home to these days. A fate largely allowed by a Republican majority in congress and endorsed by the stupidest President in history.

Our Executive branch, as well as the entirety of the legislative branch, appear to have a healthy, albeit draconian, work ethic. So far, they seem perfectly happy to send our soldiers back to hell six or seven times. Feet, hands, eyes and ears is all they need to send you back to work until you can’t or you’re dead.

“I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands, one Nation, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.”

Happy Fourth of July.

Drinks for my friends.

The wave crests, then breaks, the national media plays a mind.

In the two thousand election, Doubtfire labeled Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell as “agents of intolerance”. I liked him then. I bought that “Maverick” crap.

Bush and Rove served him overdone on a platter. It was ugly and egregious. I pitied him. He walked into a buzzsaw spinning in hot feces. Despite his time as a POW, he’d never encountered anything remotely like the diabolical bacteria and machinations of Karl Rove. Or, the blind stupidity of Dumbya. Then he hugged him on national TV.

He may have still been a good man before that experience.

He’s not been since.

By two thousand six, McCain was delivering a commencement address at Falwell’s Liberty University.

Today, after chronic rumblings in the gut of our media and percolations that turned into a harbinger of copious liquid excretions, the rectum of our mainstream media had a spasm, barfed out John Hagee and thrust him into the political toilet. You know, under the lights.

He stinks. He’s ugly and he looks stupid.

This punk Hagee has been credited with among other things, likening Hitler to a purveyor of the will of his Christian God and declaring Katrina was punishment for the Gays planning a parade.

An asshole thrice the size of a vagina.

Doubtfire worked tirelessly for this neanderthal’s endorsement for over a year. Today, of course, he denounced him and rejected his endorsement.

Good stuff. You can’t write this shit.

Will this tempest have the legs of say, the Jeremiah Wright conflagration?

Nope.

Hagee merely lied about Jews and Gays. Neither one a sizable political bloc. He didn’t tell the truth about rich white men like Jeremiah Wright did. Doubtfire didn’t belong to the douchebag’s church. Pretty fucked up, but still the way it will play.

He did impugn Catholics, but that’s ok in my book, as probably a fair number of them understand the depth of their own hypocrisy. I know I do.

Let’s all take a minute and reflect on how just insane this all is. Let it sink in. John McCain is the best Republicans can do after a disaster of epic proportion named Dumbya. I still can’t believe anyone is taking this guy seriously.

It really is no wonder the rest of the world thinks America is a land of idiots and jackasses.

There are times when I just can’t stand it.

Drinks for my friends.

Yesterday Dumbya, in an earnest impersonation of Alfred E. Newman, told us no worries, we’re not in a recession.

Oil up over one hundred seventeen dollars a barrel. Up from thirty or so under Clinton. You’re all aware, I’m sure, of the mortgage bloodbath. The job deficit. Half a million a minute in Iraq on CREDIT.

Those stimulus checks are on the way. Help you out with that two hundred percent increase at the pump. Yep, help to pay ExxonMobile. Richest corporation in the history of man. Sounds good. Nice little circle of larceny.

It goes on and on.

(CNN) — John McCain’s campaign sent supporters a fundraising e-mail Friday that claims Hamas approves of Democrat Barack Obama’s foreign policy vision, and is hoping for his victory this fall.

I guess there’s some truth to this but for fuck’s sake people, you think they’d put their money on a man like Doubtfire who thinks we can hang around for a hundred more years?

I an upcoming interview on 60 Minutes, Supreme Court Antonin Scalia says of the controversial decision which handed Bush the Whitehouse in two thousand that America needs to “Get over it”.

I hate that prick. You know, he and Darth Cheney are pals.

And once again we are being beaten about the head shoulders with the opinions of Jeremiah Wright. I will point out again, ad nauseam , there isn’t much of what he said that isn’t true. How goddamn sad our man is being impugned by the media for truths he did not even utter.

“In a fiery sermon in April 2003, Wright said: “The government gives them the drugs, builds bigger prisons, passes three-strike laws and wants them to sing God Bless America.”

“God damn America … for killing innocent people.”

“God damn America for threatening citizens as less than humans”

“God damn America as long as she tries to act like she is God and supreme.”

“We have supported state terrorism against the Palestinians and black South Africans, and now we are indignant because of stuff we have done overseas is now brought back into our own backyard. America is chickens coming home to roost.”

“Barack knows what it means living in a country and a culture that is controlled by rich white people,” Wright said. “Hillary would never know that.”

“Hillary ain’t never been called a nigger. Hillary has never had a people defined as a non-person.”

-All quotes from FOXNews.com

You motherfucking tell me what is dishonest or untruthful about any of that. America’s problem is that she cannot handle the truth. Goddamnit and goddman you who would question that. We are a society of cowards, hypocrites and cold calculating reptiles.

On September 18, 2006, Pastor John Hagee — whose endorsement Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) said this past Sunday he was “glad to have” — told NPR’s Terry Gross that “Hurricane Katrina was, in fact, the judgment of God against the city of New Orleans.” “New Orleans had a level of sin that was offensive to God,” Hagee said, because “there was to be a homosexual parade there on the Monday that the Katrina came.”

Now, that offends me and my sensibilities.

Shrillary is ahead in the popular vote if you count Florida and Michigan even though they all agreed they don’t count. That’s her new bugle from atop the hill.

Gimme a fucking break.

Anybody notice we’re not talking about the war?

It’s pretty bad again.

I believe the second and last time I heard my mother say the word “fuck”, her sentence was something like, “We are the best country on earth and we are going to fuck it up.”

The first time had something to do with me not vacuuming the astro turf on the porch in front of the trailer when I was fourteen.

I am in awe. I can’t believe this shit.

You people are as hopelessly gullible as a small gathering of primates. I don’t doubt they’d be embarrassed eventually.

They are ramming this shit down your throats because the only thing that gets you off is to gag on it.

Understand that this is a man who comes from just a slightly different place than most of you and I. That’s a good thing. Just consider, he has already seen what you are about to see and he may just be the man to help you through it. Change must come. It’s only now begun to arrive. The antidote will only come from a man such as this. I don’t see any others, and if you’re smart, you’ll be happy he’s here.

And stop worrying that he’s some sort of Muslim or that he hates America.

Don’t be a damn fool.

Drinks for my friends.

So I wrote a pretty incendiary piece earlier this week on Pope Benedict’s visit. I’m not here to apologize, keep your panties from bunching. No mea culpa here bitches, I’m just gonna elaborate.

I suppose it’s only fair I acknowledge that Pontiff Benedict spent face time with a handfull of sex abuse victims by priests during his visit this week. So noted. It was the right thing to do.

My friends and I have a saying we got from Chris Rock. “Don’t try to take credit for shit you should be doing anyway”, or something like that. What we really say is “Well, you know what Chris Rock says.”

I’m amused by the talking heads debating if what he’s done is enough. Can you guess what I think? Bet you can. My answer is, not even fucking close. I’m not unhappy about what he’s done. If the man has the courage of his convictions however, he has much more to do.

No need to pore over all the details. If you’ve been paying attention, you know enough of the story. Suffice it to say, it’s been a travesty, a cancer, a tragic malignancy that has left thousands damaged beyond repair. Thousands who’ve had their dignity and the innocence of youth stolen, absconded, by no mere evil priest, but by a culture of repression and rot both pervasive and systemic.

It is that culture that must be addressed. It is there that change must absolutely begin. At the foundation. The very roots. The condemnation of homosexuality and the ridiculous notion that priests must remain chaste to be holy. A culture of repression. A culture that is archaic and absurd.

How can one honestly believe that under such circumstances, under a bureaucracy so corrupt, that America is the only country in which such rampant and egregious abuse has been allowed to flourish? No fucking way. Watch this debacle unfold and you will surely learn that it is world wide. The real estate soaked by this stain will spread across the globe to wherever Catholics wield power.

Cardinals Bernard Francis Law (who now resides safely at the Vatican) and Mahoney, should be prosecuted to the fullest extent jurisprudence will accomodate. These two at least, are the epitome of an evil that you and I can only guess at. It’s bullshit that these men and countless others are allowed to remain free from punishment and incarceration. Pope Benedict, should demonstrate to America that he gives a mad fuck by cooperating in any process necessary to bring these men to trial.

They are goddamn pedophiles by association and compliance at the very least.

No more two billion dollar civil judgements. What is needed by the institution is criminal proceedings to pair the darkest of men with the fate and punishment they purchased long ago.

Unless and until such an action can be supplied motion by the pontifex in charge, Pope Benedict, the institution of Catholicism and it’s infrastructure will continue to decay and atrophy into obsolescence while it’s spiritual influence wanes.

Let me just say this. How can you people insist that I embrace your version of God while the rot from your basement invades your rafters? That is insane.

Drinks for my friends.

Pope Benedict XVI showed up today in America. Boy, am I excited. Did you know there’s like seventy million Catholics in this country? Did you know that by being Catholic you’re automatically full of shit? Trust me, I know a few Catholics and some of them are nice, but all of them, completely full of shit.

It’s true, I loathe Catholicism. Gays will burn in hell. Third world countries shouldn’t be allowed access to birth control because premarital sex is a sin. Then there’s the rampant and chronic ass raping of children by priests. That last one is a big one. I hear it just cost them two billion bucks. That’s maybe a day and half in Iraq.

I really could go on and on and on………

Allow me to lend you some perspective. People jumped all over Barack Obama a few weeks back because the pastor of his church was percieved by some to have insulted America. How could he belong to such a church? Why didn’t he leave that church and denounce that man?

Despite the fact that Jeremiah Wright spoke the truth, it occurs to me to ask this question: How the fuck can you people, nearly seventy million of you, in all good conscience, remain Catholic?

So I’m pretty sure I saw his image today.

I was walking along skid row and in a river of crap and piss, I glimpsed a piece of toast that made me think of this fuck’s face. True, it did look a little like Dick Cheney. Anyway, I was in a bad way, so I puked bile and snot after I was certain that I saw the face of the Pope in a slice of toast floating in human sewage running down the street.

None of this is true, by the way.

I was positive that what I saw was divine so I called every cable news show I could think of on a pay phone and asked them to meet me there in front of the booth. I had a pocket full of quarters from the the jerk off stalls earlier in my evening.

I’d lifted the countenance of the current pope in the form of a toast wedge from the gutter with my left foot and placed it neatly on the floor of the the last phone booth on skid row.

Guess what? They all came. Helicopters and vans. Crazy. I told them I’d been backpacking in the Andes for the last ten years. I ate grass and drank tea. I told them my meat of choice was yak. They nodded like it made sense.

I tell them it’s him and they’ll see because his ears and forehead are scary accurate in that morsel of toast.

I tell them, I can’t forgive this man for what he’s done and what he presides over.

I tell them he should be arrested while he’s in this country and I’m sure that’s when they decide to arrest me. I try to tell them how Cardinal Mahoney is Darth fucking Vader.

I end up in a cell. He ends up with the ass of any child he desires while candles and incense burn.

I’m just trying to make a point here. Both these fucks belong in handcuffs.

Can you believe this shit?

This fuck coming here?

Want a poster boy for religion as complete crap?

I do get carried away.

Forgive me.

I call them like I see them.

You know this prick was a Nazi?

Fuck the Pope.

Drinks for my friends.

“So it’s not surprising then that they get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren’t like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations,” he concluded.

Of course their bitter, I am.

Perhaps the only thing wrong with that sentiment is it’s being of maybe too broad a generalization. It is however, true in at least some contexts. Shrillary endeavors to use the remarks as an adhesive to affix a label of elitist to our man Obama.

Forgive me here, but that’s fucking absurd. Abandonded by his father at two years old, a mother who died young and eventually being raised by grandparents; in so many ways, Barack Obama is the epitome of the American ideal of a self made man. Whereas Shrillary and her husband sit atop a pile of filthy lucre so vast it would feed and clothe a third world country. Nothing wrong with that pile save for the component of hypocrisy Shrillary insists on injecting.

This is non-news on a slow news day as far as I’m concerned. I’m an agnostic and therefore not of a mind to give a shit about any of it. It’s transparently disingenuous. Silly season.

We can do better than this. The Little Bootlicker should be drawing this kind of fire for sponsoring the idea that those very people die for one more day, much less a hundred more years, in a pointless war based on lies and for aspiring to keep tax cuts to the rich permanent. If Shrillary is looking for an elitist, she need look no further than John McCain. Silly season indeed.

In light of that, this kind of rhetoric is destructive, irresponsible and smacks of desperation. It is more than likely that Obama will secure the nomination and Shrillary has just handed Doubtfire a box of bullets with our man’s name on them as well as emptying his piss bag for him. Way to go Hills. You continue to disgust.

Meanwhile, back at the conflagration, gas is four bucks a gallon, eighty thousand jobs lost last month, people are losing their homes right and left, a seven hundred thirty six million dollar “embassy” the size of the fucking Vatican opens in Iraq next month while our troops suffer more casualties and deaths last week than any other so far this year. How’s that “surge” working you pricks?

You’ve got be fucking kidding me.

Drinks for my friends.

Looks like I’m all but forced to weigh in on this ugliness yet again. I’m doing so because well, Hillary did so today with all the panic, recklessness and shameless irresponsibility of a desperate woman who again demonstrates a glaring sense of entitlement for our nation’s Presidency.

I’m sure you’re all aware That Senator Obama delivered a compassionate, sincere and very personal disquisition on race in America last week in response to his Reverend’s sermons from the lectern. A speech that was as refreshing in it’s honesty and eloquence as was the absence of a cowardly mea culpa or spineless abandonment of a life long friend.

He took the onus off himself and placed it squarely on us. He did so by talking to us like adults.

I’m compelled to point out; a fair amount of what Reverend Wright said was true.

As she read from a prepared statement in response to a question today, she essentially said she indeed would have walked away from that church and it’s Reverend and followed up with the callow observation that we are free to choose our friends but not our relatives.

I don’t buy this shit for a minute. This, a transparent attempt to draw attention away from a blatant and chronic lie about ducking and hiding from sniper fire in Bosnia, by exploiting racial divisivness in the same breath. The only chance Shrillary has is to keep as many white people from voting for Obama as possible. The most efficient means of course, play the race card.

Hillary, you ingnorant slut.

You continue to disappoint. My own mother mentioned she glimpsed a cut-throat passive aggressiveness in you that she’d only observed in the very worst of her female bosses.

Nevermind that your efforts may ultimately be the Democratic party’s demise in a season that was once filled with possibility, potential and hope. Nevermind how proud and delighted I was to have our very first woman and our very first black man as genuine and viable candidates for the leader of the free world and for the longest time, race and gender were not at issue. Nevermind what you and your husband have done to soil what was shaping up to be a glistening Clinton legacy. Nevermind all of that and more.

Have you no shame? No integrity? Is there a line that you won’t cross in order to clutch that brass ring?

If for no other reason than your own posterity, I implore you to let it fucking go. You are embarrassing us. You are staining this process. You ARE an embarrassment to America.

Take a lesson from your own daughter, who when asked about Monica Lewinsky today, you know the intern that sucked your husbands dick, told the questioner it was none of their business. I would suggest that to be far more appropriate an answer as opposed to your obviously prepared remarks today.

And by the way, for you to allow James Carville’s cheap shot comparison of Governor Richardson to Judas without immediate repudiation is just more of the same. Shame on you. Rovian tactics indeed.

It is largely up to you whether or not this contest becomes a protracted battle in Denver this summer. If you allow that, it most certainly will be at the expense of us all. The time for you to walk away is fast approaching. Do the math.

Drinks for my friends.

More TV.

Christiane Amanpour’s extensive piece on religion
titled “Gods Warriors”.

I watched most of it.

Fascinating and perhaps comforting on a certain level
to find practitioners of faith even more completely
insane than our own brand.

Scary because they have more conviction and less
hypocrisy.

Ironic they live in an arid region that supplies the
big blue marble with oil while the world’s breadbasket
drowns because of America’s abuse and control of the
filthy nectar sucked from their sand.

Religion is at the core of this conflict. It is the
fundament. It is why we are where we are. Neither
side of the marble will relenquish it’s imaginary
friend. Both sides insist that it’s imaginary friend
is morally superior to the other. By virtue of that, each side
is confident that it’s imaginary friend can kick the
other’s ass.

Yet, it was not the Muslims or the Christians that
poured nitro on this acient and acrimonius pile of
smouldering camel crap that has us on the threshold of
a third world war. The first where we are capable
of entirely erasing ourselves.

It was our government. Dick-in-Bush, a spineless
congress and a complicit judiciary.

Welcome to the fifth grade.

I gotta tell ya, I’m not happy to see proof that
they are just as gullible, dogmatic and stupid as we
are. Christian fundamentalists scare me every bit as
much as Muslim extremists.

It’s kinda like being in a dive bar. A small one.
And there’s two dumbasses that don’t have enough sense
to realize that the shit they are stirring will end up
with at least one of them bleeding bad on the floor.
As well as the real possibility that they’re both
packing and will kill each other and more than a few of
the rest of us.

That, my friends, is where we are. Organized religion
is comprehensively culpable.

Religion took the bait.

Religion smiled, held out its hands and
accepted the kool aid along with a formula to make
it available to the masses. They then followed
through with glee. They paid it forward.

We are in a war of religious ideology.

I’m about to piss a few of you off.

Faith* is stupid. Creationism is retarded. All you
people who buy into God, in any traditional sense, are
willfully ignorant.

Your goddamn beliefs are the root of most of the evil
ever perpetuated and precisely the reason the world
has remained in chaos since man has been able to write
about it.

The single most important reason I loathe organized
religion is it’s complete disregard of logic. Of
Science. Of what makes sense. Empirical
discipline.

There’s a sixty thousand square foot museum in
Kentucky dedicated to creationism. One diorama after
another of modern man hanging out with dinosaurs. A
sprawling complex in 21st century America, dedicated
to picking it’s nose and looking out the window at
every theory, fact, and mountain of evidentiary
information mankind has been able to compile
throughout history.

No apologies. That’s really stupid.
You have got to be fucking kidding me.

I don’t know if the Muslim religion has a parallel for
Santa Clause but I’ve always viewed Christianity as
Santa and his list of good and bad kids, for adults.

See all religion has long since been usurped by
avarice. Faith and bureaucracy do not mix. It is a
recipe for corruption and myopic pursuit of power and
control.

My point is this: If we are to prosper as a species on
this tiny blue moist spec of dust in in a universe
beyond our imagination, we absolutelty must learn
humility. We must discard these archaic and obsolete
notions of superiority based on distorted views of the
way our world was made and/or the badassness of our imaginary friends.

We are an accident. A biological coincidence lucky
enough to flourish and achieve consciousness. It
is imperative that we stop our bickering and begin to
be grateful for our barely consequential existence.

Walk it off people. Set it aside. There are things
so important you cannot begin to imagine them.

You want to worship? How about worshipping where your water comes from? How about the planet that sustains you? Your family and friends and all the people you’ve never met and won’t ever meet? Art. Kittens. Whiskey.

*What I’m talking about here is blind unchecked faith.
All I know, is if I were to observe merely faith in
the context of day to day, I would end up residing in
a cardboard box.

I am an agnostic. As such, I view your God, in
whatever form you believe it to be, as without proof
of superiority, or even existence. I don’t care. All
I want, is for you to refrain from trying to insert it
into my life, our society, our government, our world
and MY FUTURE.

Drinks for my friends.