Archive for the ‘Religion’ Category

Here we are. Judgement day less than one hundred hours away.

Show me a vampire and I’ll show you a Republican. Such singleminded avarice does not exist in mere mortals. Show me a lockstep conservative and I’ll show you a nearly brain dead zombie. Such singleminded lust for flesh only exists in the undead.

John McCain is Frankenstein’s Monster. Far less than the sum of his parts and dangerously insane.

Show me an indefatigable, unflappable, charismatic black man and I’ll show you a liberal Democrat. There are no black vampires, except maybe Blackula. There’s very few black zombies. With zombies, you can tell by looking.

Happy Halloween.

By the way, Black Republicans must be as close to stupid as Gay Republicans.

Are you aware that almost a quarter of the good folks in Texas believe Our Man to be a Muslim? Like there’s anything more unsavory about that religion than the next. Fucking rednecks.

It’s embarrassing.

If you think Barack Obama is a Muslim, it’s because you’re looking for a reason to fear him. It is willfull ignorance and it’s among the ugliest of American proclivities. Guess what else it is? It’s straight up, no apologies, racist. Tragic and shameful.

What I’m trying to do here is make the point that, were it not for the color of his skin, Barack Obama would be escorting McCain to a toilet after an enema right about now and then tucking him in. Once the elder statesman begins to snore, Our Man would slip off to contemplate his cabinet. He’s that kind of guy and Doubtfire has consumed copious amounts of carcinogens on the trail. He’s glowing.

No worries, he’s not going to explode.

Actually, he’ll melt. There will be a godawfull smell. The stain will be solvent-proof. Greasy, like charred opossum.

A horrible mess, but it will manageable as long as we can get him outside before he starts to sizzle. Away from dense foliage and wooden structures. Get the hoses ready. Call 911. Wear a cup. Maybe a helmet and eye protection.

The actual location will need to be incinerated for public safety.

The other point I need to make is that there will indeed be a deadfall. A biohazard. The great unwashed will not go quietly. Many of them will not go at all. People have lifetimes, generations, invested in this pervasive, insidious belief system. They cling to the religious components of it as a way to legitimize and justify their bigotry and narrowmindedness.

It’s goddamn frustrating because they hide behind it and we athiests and agnostics can’t go there. They will label us Godless and no one one will hear us out.

Bastards.

Conservatives, neocons and religious zealots have no love for America. They don’t give a mad fuck. They love themselves and they count on being romanced by the more persuasive among them. Hook line and sinker, these fools wait for orders and start marching as soon as they receive the message.

They disdain thinking for themselves. They’ve come to depend on being told what to do. How to act. What to think.

What should be antithetical, has instead become gospel.

How do they do that? It’s not like they’re all under the same roof. It’s cult behavior on an impossibly massive scale.

One more season of this witch and we’re toast.

Happy Halloween.

Vote you fucks.

Pimp this blog. Spread it. Cut and paste it. Cop a link. Just get it out there. What song are you hoping to hear next Wednesday morning?

“Here we come, walkin’
Down the street.
We get the funniest looks from
Ev’ry one we meet.
Hey, hey, we’re the Monkees
And people say we monkey around.
But we’re too busy singing
To put anybody down.” -Tommy Boyce and Bobby Hart

Drinks for my friends.

Tired of this shit.

Joe the fucking plumber.

That they foist such a clueless asshole on us thinking he will somehow convince the great unwashed, by virtue of being an ignorant member thereof, is maybe more of an insult to them and us than the selection of Moosewoman for VP.

Sheezus.

Joe The Plumber.

Seriously, in the past few days, this dipshit has hired a publicist, begun to negotiate both a book and a country record deal and announced he’s considering a run for Congress. That this man, who’s name is not Joe, no plans to buy a business he claims falsely is worth a quarter million annually and he’s not even a goddamn plumber, could somehow matter to the electorate disgusts me.

He’s an idiot. I would love to debate this guy.

My father would tell you this guy doesn’t know his ass from a hole in the ground.

The Republicans have a sweaty fist full of candy and that’s it.

Kids in a candy store without adult supervision.

Today, the would be Clown Princess, took a pathetic swing at Our Man with the revelation that Obama is allied with some guy named Rashid Khalidi.

Fuck off. They just don’t get this.

Khalidi said Wednesday, “I am not speaking to the media at this time, and certainly not until this idiot wind passes.” -CNN

Asked why the McCain campaign was bringing the matter up six months after the article appeared, an aide replied, “Because we are one week away from potentially electing Barack Obama.” -CNN

Such obfuscation is certainly not in the spirit of change.

“I don’t know what’s next. By the end of the week, he’ll be accusing me of being a secret communist because I shared my toys in kindergarten. I shared my peanut butter and jelly sandwich,” Obama said. -CNN

It’s bullshit. I cover my eyes and hope to find the time and place for a nap. Or a bowl of pasta. Raisin Bran Total. Grits with lotsa butter and pepper.

This brings us to Our Man’s “infomercial”. Audacious? Maybe, maybe not. Let me just observe though, that it was golden. Not about him so much as the message was about us. For the umpteenth time I was reminded of the power and subtlety in this man’s possession . Adroit intelligence, a nimble mind and an obvious compassion that extends to all of us. Not just Americans. It was actually pretty cool.

McFuckstain shows up on Larry King still pissing and moaning about how much money Obama has, where he got it and that he wouldn’t participate in Doubtfire’s favored architecture of town hall meetings. Dude, he kicked your pasty ass is in fundraising. Get over it. See, the Republicans hate this because they’re more than used to being the party with overwhelming amounts of money. They haven’t lost the battle for filthy lucre in decades and that is the impetus for their pathetic.

Goddamn they’re sore losers.

You suck! Shut the fuck up!

It is the calmness, the composure and the confidence exuded by Our Man, his surrogates and even his wife that I find so impressive. This guy is smart and he knows it. He owns that he’s twice as smart as the opposition and he doesn’t gloat. He just keeps coming.

They lie, distort and twist. He smiles, tells the truth and takes another step forward. He doesn’t blink. He’s fearless. He knows exactly what he’s doing. They throw a bowl of spaghetti at the wall as an experiment to see what sticks. A small amount of noodles and sauce ends up on his suit. He brushes it off, wipes his hands with a napkin and keeps coming.

He casually sips lemonade from an icy glass, wipes his lips with the back of his hand and takes a seat behind the desk in an office called Oval.

Drinks for my friends.

Cone of silence.

This is asinine.

Sarah Palin in New York meeting with world luminaries, glistening and tarnished. I can’t believe this crap. At first, the McCain campaign (Insane in the Membrane), insisted no reporters be allowed to accompany the cameras. When the networks balked, they relented, but any questions or participation were strictly forbidden.

They’re so afraid she’ll spell potato with an ‘E’.

Not only is it insulting and unprecedented, it’s quite possibly sexist.

Since when is the press prevented from asking a single question of a candidate who would be President in a matter of months?

How can anyone possibly trust this ticket, much less it’s choice for Assistant Manager?

Now we learn that she allowed for a twenty four million dollar road to be built to the bridge to nowhere that was never built. It’s literally a dead end. A sign at the beginning says “No Outlet”. I understand the contract for the road was signed before What’s Her Name took office. Despite that, it’s enormously difficult to believe that a sitting Governor could not prevent the construction of a twenty four million dollar road that would serve no purpose whatsoever.

There’s even a paid employee to collect tolls on the road to abruptness. A road no one uses because it terminates at no actual destination.

How does three miles of asphalt cost twenty four million?

What did she do with the other couple hundred million?

Sheezus.

I am so sick of watching what was once the largesse of America’s middle class being squandered to increase the larders of those who don’t need it or deserve it. Again, to be fair, Democrats are nearly as guilty as their counterparts.

“ANCHORAGE, Alaska (CNN) — The legislative investigation into Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin’s firing of her public safety commissioner needs to go ahead despite the increasingly heated opposition of the McCain-Palin campaign, a leading Republican said Tuesday.

Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin is being investigated for the possibly improper firing of a state official.

Since becoming the Republican vice presidential candidate in August, Palin has halted her previously promised cooperation with the Legislature’s investigation of the July dismissal of Public Safety Commissioner Walt Monegan.”

Yeah, I just puked in my mouth a little.

I said before, can’t see her when she turns sideways because she’s two dimensional.

It’s interesting. Tonight I was talking to a very close, old friend on the phone. You bond when you make records together.

Anyway, we arrived at what is perhaps the most important difference between Republicans and Democrats. Harry Reid, US Senate Majority Leader and a family friend; his first bid for the Senate was my first campaign. I was nine. He’s really disappointed and pissed me off since he became Majority Leader. My friend mentioned Nancy Pelosi, Speaker of the House, and shared similiar disdain. We were in agreement.

Even our own cross lines we’re not comfortable with. They screw the pooch and they know it. We let them know.

Therein lies the rub. Republicans march in identical boots. They are far less likely to objectively evaluate legitimate criticism and even less able to actually oppose anyone belonging to the party. It’s infantile. Handicapped. Irresponsibly unconditional. Whores on crack.

The very foundation of their entire belief system is built with bricks of compliance, obedience and and a brand of piety as mortar that is potent and toxic and very strong.

Hardcore Republican Bible abusers are America’s biggest cult. The world’s most notorious and effective terrorists.

Fuck me, I just called religous folks terrorists.

But, um, yeah. Catholic vs. Protestant. Christian vs. Muslim. All of them against gays and half of them not affording women equality. It’s gone on for far too long.

The shit we get away with in the name of Christianity is astounding. The term Bible is intended more generically here. I’m talking about it’s ubiquity. Any religion that views a single tome as it’s covenant to judge and chastise the world because the bible tells them so is goddamn foolish. Fucked in the head.

Forgive the tangent but at least it’s germane. I’m thinking it’s time for a new nickname. Sarah The Pagan? A Pentecostal for thirty four of her first thirty eight years. I don’t claim to understand this particular theological bent but I know enough to tell you it can get pretty weird. They speak in tongues.

Pundits have been saying for weeks that we need to stop paying so much attention. She’s not worth it. She’s a distraction. That’s all true. Until today. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, as of today, she is meat. She’s been the GOP VP nominee for how many weeks now and she still hasn’t answered a single question?

Rick Plank says: Fuck that shit.

There was one interview. Charlie Gibson looking professorial and Ben Franklinesque. Pretty revealing. He wasn’t throwing softballs and allowed her to make a fool of herself. It was too subtle for the great unwashed as He probably had to leave his penis at home on a condition set by Doubtfire. I’m guessing he was angry he didn’t have his penis. He had yard after yard of muscular coils of rope for her to gag on.

Now that’s fucking sexist, bitch!

She showed up on Hannity. Anyone who would reference her performance at that venue in a positive way would have to be a complete shitsmear. Seriously people, don’t be trying to bring that kinda shiznit for my nizzle. I can’t believe I just wrote that. Wonder if I’ll leave it. You may never know.

I’ve decided to leave it to discourage you from taking me too seriously. I am not an Atomic Playboy. I do not fraternize with women of ill repute. There’s a decent chance I know things you don’t. That’s not to say you don’t know things I’m completely unaware of.

Stay with me. Stay on the motherfucker.

Drinks for my friends.

Make that naive.

This race for President is what they call a statistical dead heat. Scary. My mind tells me this is to be expected. Most of the electorate are just beginning to pay attention. This scares me too.

They have almost completely assimilated Our Man’s message of “Change”, even after they made fun of it. It’s not a wafer thin slice of deli meat, not even an RCH short, of equal parts creepy and awesome. So depressingly illuminating. Proof that it doesn’t take much too fool some of the people all of the time. Proof that there’s an assload of them.

Same thing they did with patriotism.

I’m having a lazy day so expect nothing above the level of ad hominem, grandiloquent, fucking pomposity.

I gotta tell ya, this shit is ridiculous. Sarah Palin has not strayed from the script by so much as a misplaced pause. They were going to let her play with others on her own starting tommorrow but they understand two things. Not only is she way too short on experience and knowledge of any kind, but there’s enough stupid people in America lusting to hear the same goddamn thing she says every night, word for retarded word, over and over while they languish in their adult diapers.

Bonus, they hang around for Doubtfire.

I’m not here to pretend I’m confused or shocked. I’m thoroughly cognizant of how many mouth breathing, God fearing, dogmatically handicapped there are among us. It feels like the majority.

I’m not here to abandon hope. I’m still convinced our ticket will prevail. It has to. I’m not kidding when I say the future of the human species depends upon it.

Somehow, I retain optimism.

Here’s the deal. Just because they’re stupid doesn’t mean they can’t be manipulated by the forces of good. Proof they are infinitely malleable is the Darkside’s easy exploitation of millions by fear alone. Nothing says they won’t respond to logic and compassion.

It could happen. Regardless of whether it’s possible, it must come to pass. It must be.

What I’m trying to say here at the risk of sounding way too rah rah, is that it’s time for every single one of us to do something. Donate, volunteer, talk to your friends, intimidate your neighbors, staple bumper stickers to the heads of the great unwashed. Have parties. Get hookers and strippers to get other hookers and strippers involved. Recruit. Convince and pummel if necessary. Don’t be afraid to throw hands if they get snide on ya. If they’re like that, it’s a lost cause.

Try to hum the Star Spangled Banner to yourself and be sure to show good posture in administration of your duties as a member of the brighter side of things. Be positive and cheerful. Smile. Show them you care.

We always make the mistake of focusing on the fact that there’s so many idiots out there. Nevermind that it’s sad but true. Understand that if they are engaged in a way that smells good to them, they’ll respond with enthusiasm. Barbecues work and so does booze.

Don’t forget less than savory women and cocaine.

The challenge you face is not winning over the mentally disadvantaged, that which you face is about you and your willingness to see this bud of hope flower. To hold it in your hands as it blooms, feeling it’s soft petals strain against your palms and fingers.

That’s what you can expect if you believe.

I am here tonight to implore you elite and sophisticated pricks to take arms. Coddle, cuddle, convince, cajole, coerce, cudgel and calumniate. Do your best and then your worst. Let them know you’re not here to fuck around. Take charge and blame everyone else if necessary.

GO FORTH

Drinks for my friends.

It is wholly appropriate for the velocity of the RNC to be so compromised by a hurricane falling to land on the Gulf Coast almost three years to the day after a hurricane named Katrina did the same. The response, to that storm, which Republicans fucked up so badly, it’s become a stain on the party and an avatar of of their compassionless failure and clueless ineptitude.

They didn’t even know how bad they’d screwed it up until it was almost over. By then, they didn’t care.

“The Republicans can’t seem to get a break when it comes to August and when it comes to the weather,” Karl Rove, -TPM

How convenient it morphed into a reason for preventing Dumbya and Darth from bearing witness; pariahs both in their own party. A little gift from Mother Nature to the Republicans. They clearly weren’t looking forward to that kind of steerage. Nevermind the cartage.

Laura Bush gets up and kicks it off by touting the unfunded mandate we know as “No Child Left Behind”. She says that apparently some fifty million people now live in freedom in Iraq and Afghanistan. Sheezus. First huge lie.

Still, I kinda like her. She has an absent minded dignity that’s a little infectious.

I only say that because somewhere, I have sympathy for her.

Next, we get Dumbya on the satellite. More POW bullshit. Standard bogus boiler plate lies. Empty words from an empty suit. Requisite references to 911. Yawn. I’m reminded for the millionth time that his eyes are too close together.

Thankfully, both speeches are brief.

Lotsa empty seats.

Well then, it’s the obligatory tribute to Reagan. A man who became the catalyst for the devastation of America’s middle class. A man who brought Russia to her knees by outspending them at the expense of America’s workers and the enrichment of the military industrial complex and therefore, the wealthiest among us. Trickle down economics my ass.

Reagan sucked. Why do Republicans insist on being so gay for him?

Fred Thompson’s speech blows. Sarah Palin. What a joke. He tells us the choice for her as VP has panicked the Democrats. Good luck with that. It does crack us up. What a tool. He touts her ability to “field dress a moose”. Do I need to highlight the obtuseness of that? I hope not.

We hear more about Doubtfire’s time in Vietnam. I respect his service and his sacrifice, but that’s where it ends with me. I’m impressed. But that’s it. He gives credit to Republicans for balancing the budget and rebuilding the military. Good luck with that too. He’s lying. The second huge lie. I think that was a guy named William Jefferson C.

John McCain will not feel the need to apologize for America. Arrogance. Then, what has become beyond trite and cliche, the tax scare and abortion. Republicans are still that stupid. Fred Thompson is that stupid.

What’s up with all the empty seats?

All the crowd can manage to chant is USA. They can’t seem to wrap a rythm around two syllables or four.

I guess Benedict Fliptop (Lieberman) is up next. Oh boy. I really hate this guy.

He goes to the economy and terrorism right away. He takes a swing at unity. The camera pans to Gingrich a handful of times. Curious. The camera finds a Black guy standing and clapping. Bonus.

Colbert would demand an Asian.

Lieberman tells us he’s a Democrat. Bullshit, He’s an Independent. Democrats abandonded him because he’s an idiot. Whatever. His speech is completely empty. No substance. I see a Democrats for McCain sign but ‘Democrats’ is spelled wrong. Take what you will from that.

I must tell you that although I’m an aspiring pacifist, I fantasize about punching Benedict Fliptop in the mouth. Hard. A haymaker. What a douchebag. The only reason he’s there is because he wants war to continue, he wants it to grow. All I see is a man who cares far more about Israel than he does America. I loathe him.

They have nothing. The Repubilcans have shown up to a firefight with those cool Star Trek toy guns that shot little plastic discs. Remember those? If not, please substitute squirt guns in your mind’s eye.

What we have here, is a failure to communicate.

There’s some post convention interviews on the floor as I leave CNN’s coverage. A group of delegates from Texas all dressed in matching outfits. They say they are proud of Dumbya for what he’s done for pro life issues and faith based institutions. They say it was painful to applaud to applaud Bill Clinton.

Forgive me here, but you’ve got to be fucking kidding me. All that goes on in the world every goddamn day and that’s the top of their goddamn list?

By the way, Campbell Brown rocks. She pissed on Tucker Bounds’ lunch. She did it with restraint and discretion and still cleaned his clock because he was woefully unprepared. I guess it cost Larry King a McCain interview tomorrow night. What a pussy is Doubtfire.

The demonstrations and the arrests continue to gain mass and attention. This may end up being half the story.

Drinks for my friends.

This is ridiculous.

He’s lost his mind.

The first half of the day, I was genuinely confused.

Sarah Palin?

Let’s begin with the abundantly obvious. She has been the Governor of a remote, sparsley populated state for less than two years. Proir to that she was *gasp*, on the city council, then Mayor of Wasilla, Alaska, a population of somewhere over five thousand. I assume they have traffic lights and indoor conveniences. Possibly an unsactioned militia or two.

Creationism is taught in the schools of her state and she’s on board with it. She’s anti-abortion and pro-gun. She’s practically Ted goddamn Nugent when it comes to hunting. Former aspiring beauty queen still squeezing out puppies at forty four years of age.

And they say she’s smart. A real go getter. Sheezus! Let’s consider her for Postmaster General.

The jacked up long shot political calculus is that they somehow think this woman can bring evangelicals, social conservatives, and as many ignorant women as they can fool.

Yeah, good luck with that. Keep swinging for the fences. Try using a bat.

What we have here, is as shallow and transparent an example of political brinksmanship I have ever witnessed in a Presidential contest.

Doubtfire has met her twice. Or maybe only once. We don’t know. He is seventy two. He’s had cancer four times. Both his father and grandfather died of heart failure at an age younger than he. He is saying that this woman is the best qualified person in America to be Commander in Chief should he lose the fifty fifty wager that he’ll take the dirt nap at any moment after his inauguration.

Are you comfortable with that? This is the only question I want Republicans to answer. Don’t tell me there are other factors or that it’s not the point because it’s the top of the ticket that matters.

Answer. Yes or No?

Forgive me kids, it’s just a little more suspension of disbelief than I can manage.

It’s reckless, irresponsible, stupid and selfish. The hypocrisy and hubris is profound enough to inspire my jaw to slacken so completely as to allow drool to spill freely from my face. Bear with me while I change my dampened blouse and fashion a bib.

James Carville could barely keep a straight face or suppress his own urge to laugh tonight on CNN.

It amounts to this. Game over.

I’m relieved that it’s not going to matter at all.

I’m pretty sure this latest boot heel on dick move by McCain will prove to be his demise. He’s done. Look for the fork wagging from his back. There will be a sign on it that says kick me, I just shit myself.

John McCain needs a riding lawn mower and some grass to cut.

Drinks for my friends.

Here’s something I do a lot. Contemplate. Remember, analyze and perseverate.

I think about shit. I can’t help it.

I have to say, despite most of us not actually dining on each other, we are brutal cannibals. I wonder what raw percentage of us kill another in a lifetime. I mean in a war, through criminal neglect or a car crash. Whatever. Bet it’s pretty high.

Yet, our various capabilities and intelligence as a species are far beyond anything to ever inhabit this tiny, microscopic sphere. As far as we know.

Telescopes so powerful as to allow us to see back in time. We got gear on Mars that talks to us constantly. It’s understood that the faster you go, the slower time is. We think it comes close to stopping once you seriously approach one hundred eighty six thousand miles a second. The speed of light. Basic relativity. Nothing new. Did you know time and space are pliable?

Dolphins and whales, mammals both, are closest to us in intelligence. They don’t even have fingers to dial a phone or run a calculator. Maybe their fins could work an abacus someday. I hope so. They seem to have a dignity and wisdom that humans lack. It occurs to me that most animals do.

We know dung beetles are over a hundred million years the same and we’ve long since made more than enough bombs to probably erase any evidence of ourselves.

It’s a theme I visit often. Our individual morality versus our collective ability to swing a sword ever more effectively.

Geologists, anthropologists and archeologists have successfully debunked the monolithic myth that is any Bible or religion, ancient or contemporary.

Here we have the competition in black and white. A bas relief. Right there in goddamn front of ya.

This is the race humans are running. We cling to fables and ancient justifications for things we didn’t understand and those we still don’t, while our capacities increase beyond our abilitiy to control them.

Realistically, the disconnect is emotional and spiritual. As a species and a community, we are not merely callow, but inept in any way having anything to do with any pursuit of right and wrong or responsible, individual morality.

Our demise will be the triumph of technology over the failure of philosophy and compassion.

We commit the error of substituting religion for philosophy over and over and over.

Having “faith” does not guarantee an advanced level of kindness or or anything like it. I observe it to be a likely indicator for prejudice and intolerance. I’ll be blunt. I think it’s stupid and counterproductive.

We all die and that’s all we can know. I don’t know about you but that fact lends me considerable humility. As far as I know I’m finite and so are you. Get over it. There is no Santa and your beliefs don’t make you special.

Somebody remind Darth Cheney.

What I’m trying to get to is this:

The longer people hold fast to these archaic notions about God, religion, nationalism, patriotism, jingoism, et al, the faster we race headlong and pell mell towards the abyss of extinction.

The good news is the Earth will survive us. She’s just as responsible for shaking us off as we are for killing ourselves. Maybe she’ll give the insects the next big chance. Who knows? I’m pulling for the fish with hair.

Drinks for my friends.

I was troubled after the CNN presentation of interviews with both candidates by the leader of the Saddleback Church, Rick Warren.

Question number one is who is this friendly bastard and why is he here? National Television. An influential religious figure gets this kind of airtime on a cable news network?

All I care to know is he heads a megachurch. The fourth largest in the country. The biggest in the biggest state of California.

So you know, fuck him. Ha! That much power in the venue of God and fear and the fear of God, discredits the man entirely in my book.

Ever seen “There Will Be Blood”?

He seemed nice enough. Some of the questions were compelling.

John “conception” McCain did very well. The bar was low but he succeeded in raising it. You know, they said the same about Dumbya. So yeah, Doubtfire did quite well and that pains me of course. He was direct and resolute. Simple. I imagine he’d just had his cocktail of vitamins and stimulants via the nightly needle.

Our Man was far more conversational and relaxed. Yes, he was nuanced. Profoundly. When he spoke of the humility we must maintain when confronting evil because too much harm has been done in the name of good for example. Eloquent and salient. This guy is good.

The thing is this, that honest and thoughtful shit doesn’t always play in Peoria or Clearwater. That’s a shame.

I’m angry. I’m over having to make room for the stupid, lazy and underinformed. It doesn’t take a genius to see we’re fucked and the group that’s fucking us are all dressed the same with similar haircuts. The codgers all sport the “Doubtfire”. The Dorothy Hamill for the pasty set. Often they look like their pink heads are about to combust under their pale gossamer combovers.

Except the insurgents, they look like us. They talk liberal but vote neocon.

What that is, is talking complex to obfuscate ignorance. Willfull ignorance.

I have empathy for the authentically stupid.

I have disdain for the willfully ignorant. They disgust me. Intellectually dishonest, most likely greedy and dispassionate.

Sometimes it all seems so hopeless.

I talked to two good old friends today. Older and younger by about the same amount. Both very good men. I have a much stronger bond with one of them but it doesn’t matter here. The older was far more pessimistic than my younger friend. I was curious to find myself in the middle. It struck me that chronologically, my veiws were predictable. Typical.

Then I considered the company I was in. That thought became a bit of a revelation. I flirted with epiphany.

It never quite came.

The older said truthfully that we can and always will do worse.

The younger said honestly that he believes we will do better and there is a way.

I have Deja Vu.

Drinks for my friends.

McCain: “In The 21st Century Nations Don’t Invade Other Nations”

Sheezus!

This from a moron who doesn’t understand the difference between Sunni and Shia or that there even is one. This from a man so obtuse as to say in a primary debate that Americans are better off than four or eight years ago. This from a man so ignorant and stupid as to describe an appearance in Baghdad acommpanied by blackhawk helicopters and dozens of heavily armed soldiers as no different than a Sunday afternoon stroll in some bucolic American neighborhood.

Word is he’s thinking about Lieberman as a running mate. That beats Romney in absurdity by a mile.

The problem is that this idiot is a serious contender for President of The United States. The problem is that there are that many dipshits voting.

Obviously, Iraq means America and the Bush administration have virtually no credibility or authority regarding the conflict between Russia and Georgia. So absent either in fact, they look silly trying to talk about it.

Russia has basically invited Dumbya to piss up a rope.

The Keystone Cops, indeed.

Next we have this asswipe, Jerome Corsi, dropping another turd of a tome filled with copious quantities of complete bullshit about Our Man. The aforementioned voters, well, the ones that can actually read, will no doubt hoover this crap like it’s the next New Testament or some cheesy bodice ripper with extra large print and a diminutive number of adjectives.

I cannot wrap my brain around the fact that this is even a contest. I’ve said that before. I doubt it’s the last time. I can’t help but lament what looks for all the world like willful ignorance. Ten percent still believe our man to be Muslim. So what if he was? Turns out he’s a Christian. At least he’s nondenominational. I have no more or less respect for Christians than Muslims. Why would I? I’ll bet the ratio between crazy fanatics and well intentioned altruists is near identical.

Who knows how many Muslims are pedophiles with autonomy granted by their faith?

Wake up. Muslims are no more a threat than any other group, religion or country on this bright blue marble. What will it take to convince the great unwashed to stop panicking at shadows and think for themselves?

People amaze me.

For the record, I’m reading Vincent Bugliosi’s “The Prosecution of George W. Bush for Murder” and he’s pretty pissed. On Deck is Pasty McSquinty’s “What Happened”. I’m really looking forward to Ron Suskind’s new one.

Whatever.

Drinks for my friends.

Americans have become so painfully obsessed with morality we’ve all but abandonded ethics.

Too many steer by some absurd moral compass as opposed to basic rules that any group of humans should abide.

I’ll put that another way and not to make you more comfortable. We’re so ridiculously consumed with judgement and diving for a role to render it, we’ve abandoned common sense and the idea of walking in the shoes of another.

Tragic in more ways than one could possibly swing a dead cat.

The rub is thus, morality is nebulous and subjective. More than vulnerable to wrongheaded interpretation. Ethics are hard and fast rules, based more on the doctrine of ‘do unto others’, rather than the ‘don’t covet thy neighbor’s wife’ school of thought.

See? One is Jello. The other is currency.

Don’t bother telling me I can’t lust. I have no control over it and refuse to beat myself up for it.

Those who value morals over ethics, go home, cook up some lime Jello and cover your gold bullion with it. If you’re not rich, you’re obviously stupid. If you’re stupid, try mayonnaise and pineapple on top. It’s tasty.

The wealthy can afford to perpetuate a moral code of their own because they have money to cover their asses and it’s a wonderful vehicle for them to exert influence and control.

We have ethics. Trust me when I tell you it’s better to have ethics than the morals of anyone else.

Pineapple and kiwi make my tongue itch and swell. The sides of my tongue will then chafe against my bottom molars and cause considerable discomfort for a few days.

Morality inevitably sucks compassion and sensitivity out of a society if allowed to commence without check.

I have my own moral code. I struggle with it. It is mine, I’ve no desire to foist it on anyone else. I may have set my bar a bit high but it’s better than too low.

At the same time, I expect that others will not steal from me, betray me, treat anyone without equality or kill anyone I love. These are ethics.

They seem elementary. They are. There is a myriad of ways to break these simple rules, however.

My particular morals are an extension of ethics. As it should be, but they are my individual rules. I decide these things myself. They are mine. I endeavor to keep them to myself.

But, I’ll share a little for the sake of example. I do not betray confidence, especially if I understand that something bad has happened. I wouldn’t protect a serial killer mind you, let’s just say I possess secrets that will never experience sunlight on my behalf because it wouldn’t change a goddamn thing.

I don’t care who you fuck, why or how, as long as it’s consensual and not my girlfriend. I believe war is immoral unless we’re attacked or know for sure we will be. I believe the rich should help the poor and shouldn’t seek tax loopholes or to hide their filthy lucre in offshore accounts.

I believe I don’t want fuck all to do with your church, your thoughts on abortion, sex, contraception, civil rights et. all. Those are morals generated and perpetuated by a religious bureaucracy that is absent accountability or logic and insists on defying the brick and mortar fundament of ethics.

It is unethical in every way to fuck little boys or exploit the poor by taking their money. It is a betrayal and a theft to posit that God favors one political candidate over another. It is a betrayal to insist creationism is taught in any classroom or to withold any information about birth control.

Any grey area associated with issues like these are afforded by someone’s morality. Ethics remain crystal clear.

I trust my friends to go further. We are friends and I will not take advantage, exploit or lie to them. My real friends see it the same way. We are here to support and enrich each other. I try very hard not to lie to anyone.

If I don’t give a mad fuck about you, I might lie to you. Morals.

Drinks for my friends.

I watched the American Women’s Gymnastics team at the Olympics tonight and had two thoughts:

They are amazing. They tease and defy gravity with muscle and balance. Fascinating and compelling.

I felt vaguely pervy as these are not women, but girls, who’s physical maturity has been suspended by vigorous athleticism.

I can’t stand it. It just goes on and on.

Blatant.

Notwithstanding reason.

Geniuses and Jack O’ Lanterns.

The issue is this.

Abortion.

The right tries so hard to call it murder. Ahem.

It is far more nuanced and organic than that. They only do black and white.

Mother Earth will ultimately decide the the fate of humankind. She will be fine. She will prosper. The Earth does not need us. All the Earth needs is the goddamn Sun. Last I heard, the sun is gonna be around awhile.

Earth may decide that humans are no longer compatible with her goals. Her ideals. No longer congruent with her plan for survival. In a time not far from now, The Earth might shrug us humans off. She might just heat up and burn us out.

If she does this, She’ll have decided we do more harm than good.

If she does this, She’ll have decided to save her life and that of all her other inhabitants.

Who can blame her?

Maybe we’ve been tolerated thus far because we advanced so rapidly. We emerged as a species so very capable. So bright and creative. We made art and beauty while either reaching out with compassion and concern to everyone, or raping, bombing and killing every civilization in sight.

We stormed her peaks, plunged her depths and polluted her lungs. She’s seen us kill on a scale that is both awesome and terrifying. In a mere few thousand years, we developed the ability to destroy just about every life she births and nurtures.

She is impressed. Not in a good way.

Earth doesn’t need your language. You need hers. It’s not as simple as humans not understanding. It’s as ugly as humans refusing to understand. Willfull ignorance.

Mother Earth may choose to abort us. It is certainly her right and obviously within her power.

The Earth is a Mother and it is her prerogative.

Men have no business passing laws governing a woman’s reproductive rights.

Any of you at this point desiring to invoke God should just shut the fuck up. My God is The Earth. In precisely the same way you do not wish to hear about my God, I’m not interested in hearing about yours. Fuck off. I think your’s is stupider by far, than mine.

It is my right to enter into a decision with a woman about our pregnancy as opposed to allowing a religion manufactured from convenience dictate our direction without regard to our lives.

The comedy is this. You that have so much faith, so much conviction that we are acting counter to the wishes of your God, why are you so unwilling to let your God decide?

Why are you so zealous as to kill doctors to prevent us from committing this “sin”? After all, your God will sort us out, wont he? If you believe so absolutely, what are you so worried about?

Is your faith so weak as to force a question about your God’s ability to keep us heathens in check? A question profound enough to force your hand to take it upon yourself? You will say that we imprison others in society who commit murder. We even murder them. I say your definition of murder is flawed and you’re not equipped to judge.

You do your cause no favors by vehemently opposing such basic science as evolution and stem cell research. You force the hands of us with a modicum of common sense to look at you as retarded. Overly enthusiastic, euphorically fanatical, idiots.

Isn’t it your God that would deny us access to Heaven for using condoms?

Some people are stupid enough to believe contraception is a “sin”. This in a time when the world has way too many humans. Some people are just fucking stupid.

Abortions will occur. With or without your consent. The rich will have them no matter what laws you’re able to pass. The poor will suffer. Ill equipped to even bring a baby to term. Unable to afford any prenatal care. From a practical perspective, I’m just looking to keep the coat hangers out of it.

Drinks for my friends.

I used to see movies or television shows that depicted unbalanced people and think such a fate was impossible for me. I’d wonder at how it could actually happen. I imagined the unlikliest of scenarios.

I know what it’s like to be crazy. I once took a few too many fistfulls of mushrooms and lost my shit. Ever since then I’ve understood how tenuous a grip my mind has on sanity. Reluctant even. A a careless mistake or a tragedy away from not much sense at all.

A few years ago, as a result of an inordinate amount of stress, I began to have panic attacks. I was sure I was about to die. It was a temporary suspension of sanity and they were surgically debilitating.

I respect how close to an edge I am.

Dark days. My ten year relationship was ending, my job and boss as well as my best friend were imploding, financial pressure reared it’s head and my most beloved cat friend died abruptly.

I was losing my shit.

I went to doctors, sought counseling, ended up in therapy and on a serotonin re-uptake inhibitor.

I’m better now thank you very much, although I remain more than cognizant that the wall separating me from madness is paper thin. When the light is right, I can see right through it. I also know that the longer I remain on this side of that wall, the stronger and more impervious I become.

I wonder if I’m like most people who can’t help but dance around the maypole once in awhile.

I can actually see sound. I look at a bug and spend at least the next five minutes imagining invasion by it’s species. I can drink a quart of cheap scotch, eat some tin cans and consume a pouch of chewing tobacco and keep it down. I think of something random however, and puke til I dry heave. My biggest fear is the car accident but I drive like a maniac. I’m a germaphobe but my place is a wreck. I make up names for random people I encounter in public settings. Often I have a different name in mind for people right before we’re introduced, making it more difficult to remember their actual name.

I love unopened presents. One of the first things my shrink pointed out was that I was a chronic perseverator.

My dreams are blind shit house nuts. Frying my own feet, spatula in hand, in a skillet on top of hot plate, on top of a cheap vinyl flower print dining chair, my amputated ankles underneath, in a Boston apartment with green shag carpeting.

I obsess the minutiae and disregard the macro. It get’s me into trouble.

So, on top of all this, I regularly encounter people who lack fundamental reason. Logic. Rationale. On TV, on the radio, the internet and at the 7-11. They are crazy. Few dare to divulge the deranged stain on these human tiles, thus they are everywhere I go or even look.

They voted for Dumbya and have no moral or ethical dilemma with leaving a wad of gum under a table, bigotry or putting the family pit bull in the ring for a little cash. How much you wanna bet they worship regularly and invoke God consistently?

Forgive the tangent. I’m not here to preach, at least not tonight. Once in awhile I just get started and let the point find itself.

I suppose part of my point is that you, we, cannot afford to deceive ourselves.

I realize I fall well outside the sphere of what’s held as typical or normal. I like that. Let me just say that a good number of you what takes comfort in those labels or even deign to hide behind them are not fooling anyone but yourselves.

See, you think of it as you against us. We don’t. We look at it more like us for the rest of us and you’re welcome to come along.

What’s going on in America right now is a battle of ideologies. It’s brilliant and tragic irony that our own government is fomenting that polemic about the rest of the world.

Unfortunately, far too many of you don’t understand either wrangle. You keep staring at the trees instead of thinking about the forest. Get over yourselves.

Stop pretending you know why you’re here. No more assuming you have the answer because you do not. Start thinking more about the question.

Let me give you a heads up, two men standing on the corner, both claim to be Jesus. One of them has to be wrong.

Drinks for my friends.

Various sources.

America closes in on one million foreclosures.

Indymac is the third largest carp in our country’s history to reveal it’s pale belly in the polluted waters of American finance.

Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac in trouble and needing a federal bailout they will get. Two companies responsible for over half the mortgage debt in this country. Five trillion dollars.

Lists of vulnerable banks contain as many a hundred and fifty. Google the Texas ratio. At what point does the FDIC become FEMA?

Two million refugees from Darfur and and four hundred thousand slaughtered. Twenty first century genocide. A half a billion in aid a year from the US as opposed to to ten billion a month we spend in Iraq. Bin Laden used to live there so we favor their government with a blind eye because they occasionally share what kind of underwear he wears, his favorite Starburst flavor and pictures of his enormous horse package.

Over four thousand dead and thirty thousand horrifically wounded Americans by Iraq. Some estimates put Iraqi dead at over a million with some four million refugees. Meanwhile, we’ve blown the entire place apart.

National debt approaches ten trillion dollars. We had an actual surplus eight years ago.

A trade deficit approaching four hundred billion a year.

Nearly fifty million uninsured.

The Earth’s filthy nectar, which literally fuels everything we do, is imported by more than seventy percent. The price of that dirty ambrosia has risen nearly four hundred percent in the last seven years.

In America, the rich continue to get richer and the poor continue to plunge.

There’s a seventy five percent chance the icecap at at the earth’s north pole will be gone within the next three years.

Twelve percent of the electorate still believes Our Man Obama is a Muslim. Over seventy percent who voted for Dumbya in ’04 still believed Saddam Hussein was responsible for the events of 9/11.

“Most people are dumber than dirt.” -My Father

“The best country in the history of the world, and we’re going to fuck it up.” – My Mother

The stock market has been on a well oiled slide for a while now. One of it’s nipples went turgid last week because oil dropped three days in a row. First time in seventeen years. It’s because speculators knew we were gonna talk to Iran. They hoped we’d make nice. It’s a wash so far. We’ll see.

I encourage the stupid people to hold their breath.

I’m thinking it’s time to stock up. Get myself a gun.

I just jacked the sound on the local news. A story on corn ethanol. I’m not kidding when I tell you that a cutaway shot showed cars travelling backwards. If we go nuclear and corn ethanol, I think we should store all the nuke waste at corn ethanol stations.

Stupid fucks.

Forgive my pessimism. If you look at the numbers………..

My point is this. The Evil Empire is not looking at the same numbers we are. If they were, they’d pay attention and do something, like come up with better explanations for not giving a mad fuck.

Drinks for my friends.

Yesterday we learned Dick-in-Bush would be sending one of it’s “most senior diplomats” to Switzerland to meet with Iran’s top nuclear official.

Today we learned of the Pentagon’s intention to shift troops from Iraq to Afghanistan earlier and more precipitously than anticipated or forecast. They told us everything was fine………

Tonight, Rush (the band) appears on the Colbert Report.

It is America’s smartest day in over seven years. It’s not saying much but I had to mention it.

Dumbya has broken with stated, fucking shouted, obdurate policy.

Oil went down for the second day in a row, further than it has in seventeen years. The NYSE rallied after having it’s ass handed to it for month after hemorrhage after month after hemorrhage. The Bear is back.

There is some idea that as a result of conservation, demand is down so oil speculation is down. Were that the truth, I’d be encouraged. I’m not saying it’s not possible, it’s just not happening yet.

Really, wouldn’t that be cool? A collective effort on part of the American citizenry having a global effect? Yes, that would be cool. It would be empowering.

Forgive me but that’s not what’s happened. Exercises in the Gulf weren’t doing the trick. More missiles should have been photoshopped I guess.

Us sending a diplomat to Switzerland is what happened.

It wouldn’t hurt at all for us to conserve and I don’t doubt that it could have a profound impact on the global economy. The onus is on us as the preeminent species to manage air, food, water and fire anyway. It’s an ecological mandate.

Unfortunately, the entire planet seems to be in an ugly state of nationalism. It’s almost as insidious as religion. It’s as though we seek to define ourselves by our differences while there aren’t so many when compared to our commonalities.

I’m here to tell you that if we don’t start thinking as a people, as opposed to American or Mexican or Catholic or Jew or Muslim or Arab, we will be responsible for our own extinction. It is inevitable. The only guarantee of survival is compassionate cooperation among all people.

We’re such assholes. That’s never gonna happen. Oh well, sorry I brought it up.

Did you know that it takes about two and a half bottles of water to manufacture the bottle you’re drinking water from? Did you know that fuel from corn is one of humakind’s stupidest ideas? Did you know that “bowtie” or “farfalla” pasta is the champion pasta shape for more delicate sauces? It works with gravies of medium density as well. Farfalla means butterflies in Italian. Make sure you use butter and capers.

If it were me instead of Obama, I’d have a tough time sleeping in the same room Dumbya had for eight years. Poor bastard.

Drinks for my friends.

This my territory, so I’ve posted my response first. The blog I’m responding too appears at the bottom:

I am saddened that such a clearly intelligent man has succumbed to fear and propaganda.

You say:
“I am tired of liberals who see only negativity in America; racism in her people, class warfare in her society, and flaws in her character.”

Do you imagine these things don’t exist? They do. For many, they are a part of everyday existence. A fact of life. You’re a white Christian Republican male, you will have to look outside yourself to see these phenomena. Burst your bubble my friend. It takes some courage but we can never come together unless you’re willing to see the world objectively. You’ll need to remove yourself from the equation to accomplish this.

We liberals are way ahead of you in that regard.

You say:
“I am deeply troubled by the Democratic Party which nominated John Kerry, whose qualifications revolved around labeling the honorable men and women who fought in the Vietnam War (58,000 of whom gave their lives in that action) as murderers, rapists and war criminals.”

Do you posit these things never occured? They did. He wasn’t labeling all of them, he was pointing it out. Many “incidents” are documented. They were horrifying. America fucked up. It’s embarrassing that you are only able to define Kerry in those terms. Is that really all you allowed yourself to see?

You imply we liberals are godless and lazy, unwilling to work and hate America. You are not only guilty of generalizing and stereotyping, but of drinking the neoconservative Kool-Aid.

I have worked hard my whole life. Had my own business at thirteen. Managed a restaurant at seventeen and was a recording engineer/producer by age twenty eight. Triple platinum by thirty one. Now finishing my first novel. And I don’t believe in your God.

Thank you for a genuine example of ingorance, bias and baseless piety.

Forgive me. Believe it or not, it doesn’t serve me to attack you as an individual. I’m actually fairly certain you are a good and decent man. It’s the ideology you so enthusiastically embrace and foment that I strive to to tear apart. It is false and wrong and the catalyst for evil on a level we have never seen in this country.

You say:
“I still pray that God will open the eyes of those ill-informed members of our society who, either through ignorance or deliberate malice, repeatedly attack and belittle those of us who believe in self-empowerment for all. I am grateful to have lived in a nation that gave me the freedom of self-determination and the right to benefit from my own personal achievements.

News Flash. I believe sincerely in self empowerment for all and I’m grateful to live in a country that has provided me with the freedom to pursue self determination and feel fortunate to have benifitted from personal achievment. I just don’t buy into your God.

Please wake up and look around.

**************************************************************************************************

His blog in it’s entirety:

Ask most any member of the main stream media elite, and a growing number of high school and college students, along with their teachers and professors, “What is a Republican?” and the response will likely include words such as, “greedy, self-centered, motivated only by money, unconcerned for the environment, the poor, and everyone they exploit.”

I am none of those things; I am simply a man who is proud of his country, and it’s hard-won heritage of liberty and justice for all. My own father fought two world wars to preserve freedom, and died at an early age as a result.

So, what is a Republican? I can only speak for myself.

I went to work at age 12, joined the Navy at 17, and went to war at 18. I started my own business at age 25 and worked 70, 80 and sometimes 100 hours a week for years, risking everything I had – including my health – to secure a better future for myself and my family. My own blood, sweat and tears made it possible for me to provide a secure living, not only for my family and myself, but also for literally hundreds of employees through the years, who in turn were able to buy their own homes, raise their own families, and give back to their communities and their country.

I am a Christian who loves God and his church, and who was taught to respect all religions whose teachings are based in love, peace and charity. I believe that God blessed this country because of the principles upon which it was founded. If you doubt God’s blessings still happen in today’s world, you need only look into the face of one who has received them.

I am a father who believes in the sanctity of marriage and the preservation of the family. I believe in the sanctity of life and am repulsed by the political left who pander for votes at the expense of the unborn. I am disgusted with the courts who rightly call the murder of a pregnant woman a double homicide, and then declare that the murder of an unborn baby is a constitutionally protected “woman’s right to choose.”

I am proud that our President expresses a belief in God; proud to have voted for a President who understands – politically incorrect tho’ it may be – that there is evil in this world. For the sake of all people everywhere, that evil must be confronted, and it must be defeated. I take comfort in the knowledge that our President refuses to allow decisions concerning the security of this nation to be governed by the political whims of foreign governments.

I understand that the terrorist attacks that murdered thousands of my fellow Americans can happen again. That’s why I sincerely believe America needs, now more than ever, a President who sees with a clear and focused vision and who speaks with a voice that – when heard by friend or foe – is understood, respected and believed.

I am eternally grateful to Ronald Reagan for speaking out against Communism and for having the courage of his convictions in leading the fight to defeat it; and to George W. Bush, who – in spite of the constant, vicious, personal and political attacks both he and his family have been forced to endure – has demonstrated uncommon vision, courage, conviction and leadership in America’s war against Islamic Global Jihad.

I am tired of liberals who see only negativity in America; racism in her people, class warfare in her society, and flaws in her character. I am also fed up with politicians who, when held up to public scrutiny, divert attention from their own personal, political and legislative failures by accusing their opponents of “mudslinging” and using negative attack ads.

I am deeply troubled by the Democratic Party which nominated John Kerry, whose qualifications revolved around labeling the honorable men and women who fought in the Vietnam War (58,000 of whom gave their lives in that action) as murderers, rapists and war criminals. That same Democratic Party has now embraced Barack Obama, another Harvard liberal elitist whose only claim to fame is that he was a Communist organizer and a member of a black separatist church for twenty years.

I still pray that God will open the eyes of those ill-informed members of our society who, either through ignorance or deliberate malice, repeatedly attack and belittle those of us who believe in self-empowerment for all. I am grateful to have lived in a nation that gave me the freedom of self-determination and the right to benefit from my own personal achievements.

I am blessed to be an American, and proud to be a Republican.

A friend of mine recieved some insipid spam from a relative. She agreed to let me write this but I have not been allowed to send it yet. I’m not holding my breath. Anything in quotes is verbatim from the letter/spam.

I begin.

The Bible, it does speak about untimely death, doesn’t it? I keep forgetting about that untimely death thing.

“Be not deceived; God is not mocked:
for whatsoever a man sow,
that shall he also reap.”

The idea that we reap exactly what we sow. I just can’t seem to pile on. I do believe in doing the right thing. I can’t be sure it makes a difference, but at the end of the day, might as well. Even us agnostics try to do the right thing. We like to do it correct whether we reap or not.

You make another point about people who “mocked God”. Your very first example is John Lennon. In parenthesis “singer”.

Just a singer huh?

Lennon said:

“Christianity will end, it will disappear. I do not have to argue about that. I am certain.
Jesus was ok, but his subjects were too simple, today we are more famous than Him’ (1966).”

“Lennon, after saying that the Beatles were more famous than Jesus Christ, was shot six times, even though he was probably right.”

It’s interesting. See, if Lennon was right, he was right about the failures of organized religions to inspire and motivate beyond his own humble four piece band’s ability to do so.

Duh.

“Marilyn Monroe (Actress)
She was visited by Billy Graham during a presentation of a show.
He said the Spirit of God had sent him to preach to her.
After hearing what the Preacher had to say, she said:
‘I don’t need your Jesus’.
A week later, she was found dead in her apartment”

“Bon Scott (Singer)
The ex-vocalist of the AC/DC. On one of his 1979 songs he sang:
‘Don’t stop me; I’m going down all the way, down the highway to hell’.
On the 19th of February 1980, Bon Scott was found dead, he had been choked by his own vomit.”

Yes, it’s quite clear that god killed them for their mockery and overall disrespect. They were pagans. Barbarians.

I have to say that if this is all you can find in the entirety of Christian history of peope who have “mocked God”, you my unknown friend, are reaching for shit I can’t even be bothered to make fun of.

Then I see it’s some sort of chain letter and I want to send vicious people after you.

I don’t know you but it makes me wonder who you think you are to spread this sort of incendiary, vitriolic bullshit. If you honestly believe John Lennon was some sort of threat to your imaginary friend in the sky and that he lost his life for it. You are one dangerous dipshit and a goddamn fool.

May Bon Scott dine on your viscera.

Drinks for my friends.

James Dobson, leading evangelical, founder of Focus on The Family and therefore self righteous dipshit, took it upon himself to open fire on our man Obama today for suggesting in a two year old speech that it is impractical to govern solely on the basis of scripture.

Um, no shit. By the way, Our Man was speaking to a liberal Christian group named Call To Renewal.

“Which passages of scripture should guide our public policy?” Obama asked in the speech. “Should we go with Leviticus, which suggests slavery is OK and that eating shellfish is an abomination? Or we could go with Deuteronomy, which suggests stoning your child if he strays from the faith? Or should we just stick to the Sermon on the Mount?” -CNN.com

Dobson said, “I think he’s deliberately distorting the traditional understanding of the Bible to fit his own world view, his own confused theology,” Dobson said, adding that Obama is “dragging biblical understanding through the gutter.” -CNN.com

Well I for one would like to believe he was pointing out just how stupid and archaic so much of the Christian dogma actually is. Probably not though. I suspect he was merely saying it is impractical to base policy on an ancient text, regardless of the reverence it still enjoys.

For what it’s worth, I’m still plenty pissed at our man over the FISA thing.

I think any debate that entertains the inclusion of any amount faith into politics or government is witheringly wrongheaded and spurious. I am weary, wary and leery of it. Big suprise from an agnostic huh?

It is abundantly clear that the founding fathers had every intention of keeping church and state separate. News flash; your religion, faith or beliefs are your own. You chose them or were probably indoctrinated. I just don’t care and I’m completely unwilling to hear about it or them.

I don’t care and I don’t have to because I’ve long since made up my mind and this is America.

The idea that any religious bureaucracy wields even a modicum of influence on political discourse in this country inspires a gamut of emotion in me that ranges from disgust to rage. When I encounter it, my knee jerks as if to say fuck you in the neck.

Do people like like Dobson believe they have some kind of moral superiority and it is therefore incumbent on them, perhaps even their duty, to foist their wisdom on the rest of us? Yup, they do. That’s why I loathe them. So many insincere zealots. The quantity of their conviction almost always belies the depth of their hypocrisy. An inverse relationship that we are treated to over and over.

Larry Craig, Mark Foley, Cardinal Mahoney, Haggard, Swaggart, Baker, Roberts, Falwell, Tilton……………

Man is a Religious Animal. He is the only Religious Animal. He is the only animal that has the True Religion–several of them. He is the only animal that loves his neighbor as himself and cuts his throat if his theology isn’t straight. He has made a graveyard of the globe in trying his honest best to smooth his brother’s path to happiness and heaven….The higher animals have no religion. And we are told that they are going to be left out in the Hereafter. I wonder why? It seems questionable taste.
– “The Lowest Animal” -Mark Twain

Were it up to me, no religious spokesperson would be allowed to comment on public policy, legislation, campaigns or the merits of titty bars. Not even from the pulpit. Any who dared break the rule would see their own house of worship taxed to the fullest extent of our convoluted tax code.

A portion of the revenue would be used to reconstruct said place of worship so that it’s entire exterior would be of glass. This house of whatever God, would then be afforded the opportunity to reduce it’s tax burden by allowing it’s own worshippers to throw stones at itself.

Honestly, I don’t have a problem with Jesus. Basic Christian tenets are pretty sound. I like the one about do unto others and that one about judge not lest ye judged. Good stuff.

I can’t help but despise a good number of his fans. They should be allowed their primitive rituals and blind faith. Whatever gets you through the night is your business. Keep it that way and we’re cool. Fail to respect that and I’m free to fire flesh shredding salvos of logic at you until the lies, evil, ignorance and corruption are all that’s left.

Upon molesting the bull, one automatically qualifies for the horns.

“So much blood has been shed by the Church because of an omission from the Gospel: “Ye shall be indifferent as to what your neighbor’s religion is.” Not merely tolerant of it, but indifferent to it. Divinity is claimed for many religions; but no religion is great enough or divine enough to add that new law to its code.”
– Mark Twain, a Biography

Drinks for my friends.

Today was a dark day in the great state of California. The dreaded marriage of faggots, dykes and lezbos was allowed to commence. What have we done? The venerated institution of marriage has been soiled. Shat upon by liberals and sissy lovers. Next thing you know, they’ll be marrying their pets or monkeys (I’ll be polygamist).

Woe is us.

David Lee Roth once said of this state something like, they tipped the map and everyone with a screw loose rolled to the left coast. As an agnostic, I just need to say, thank God I live here.

The same institution that until early last century legally posited a woman was a man’s property upon betrothal. The same institution that forbade the matrimony of an African American to one of European extraction until even later. The same institution that fails utterly and completely, at least half the time, with the carnage of children in it’s wake. The same institution that was the catalyst for delivering redneck bigots to the polls for the last Presidential contest in drooling, knuckle dragging packs.

Tony Perkins, president of the Family Research Council, pause for the laugh track, “decried the decision as a typical case of judicial activism in which the court overrode the will of the people. Too bad, the Family Research Council actually fought to have the will of the majority overturned when “the people of Oregon passed a law authorizing voluntary assisted suicide for the terminally ill.” -The Daily Fuel

What a tool. It was allowed because the California Supreme Court declared it unconstitutional. Hey Tony, keep your Jesus off my penis.

Now it’s going to be on the ballot. Again.

We have seen numerous examples in our nation’s history where the “will of the people” isn’t necessarily congruent with justice, compassion or fairness. This issue, in my mind, is overwhelmingly elementary. Homosexuality is congenital. It therefore belongs exclusively to the context of civil rights. Period. Next?

I’m reasonably certain most who would deny this civil right to their fellow human, have never even known, tried or wanted to know a gay person. What would they find if they did? They would discover, other than sexual preference, they are just like the rest of us. Some good, some bad, but almost all having the capacity for love, unless it was beaten out of them by some racist homophobe who’s masculinity was threatened.

The news was juxtaposed with footage of a lesbian couple that had been together since Ike was President, gingerly slicing a wedding cake. How cool, and just what the fuck is wrong with that?

I understand the terrible engine behind this idiocy combusts on fear and ignorance. What I don’t understand is what there is to be so afraid of.

I’m grateful time seems able to slowly but deliberately render discrimination obsolete as it’s practitioners are driven into shame filled closets of their own. Prisoners of their own device.

Drinks for my friends.

The wave crests, then breaks, the national media plays a mind.

In the two thousand election, Doubtfire labeled Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell as “agents of intolerance”. I liked him then. I bought that “Maverick” crap.

Bush and Rove served him overdone on a platter. It was ugly and egregious. I pitied him. He walked into a buzzsaw spinning in hot feces. Despite his time as a POW, he’d never encountered anything remotely like the diabolical bacteria and machinations of Karl Rove. Or, the blind stupidity of Dumbya. Then he hugged him on national TV.

He may have still been a good man before that experience.

He’s not been since.

By two thousand six, McCain was delivering a commencement address at Falwell’s Liberty University.

Today, after chronic rumblings in the gut of our media and percolations that turned into a harbinger of copious liquid excretions, the rectum of our mainstream media had a spasm, barfed out John Hagee and thrust him into the political toilet. You know, under the lights.

He stinks. He’s ugly and he looks stupid.

This punk Hagee has been credited with among other things, likening Hitler to a purveyor of the will of his Christian God and declaring Katrina was punishment for the Gays planning a parade.

An asshole thrice the size of a vagina.

Doubtfire worked tirelessly for this neanderthal’s endorsement for over a year. Today, of course, he denounced him and rejected his endorsement.

Good stuff. You can’t write this shit.

Will this tempest have the legs of say, the Jeremiah Wright conflagration?

Nope.

Hagee merely lied about Jews and Gays. Neither one a sizable political bloc. He didn’t tell the truth about rich white men like Jeremiah Wright did. Doubtfire didn’t belong to the douchebag’s church. Pretty fucked up, but still the way it will play.

He did impugn Catholics, but that’s ok in my book, as probably a fair number of them understand the depth of their own hypocrisy. I know I do.

Let’s all take a minute and reflect on how just insane this all is. Let it sink in. John McCain is the best Republicans can do after a disaster of epic proportion named Dumbya. I still can’t believe anyone is taking this guy seriously.

It really is no wonder the rest of the world thinks America is a land of idiots and jackasses.

There are times when I just can’t stand it.

Drinks for my friends.

Oh fuck.

Bloodiest month in Iraq since September of last year. It’s Iran’s fault, they tell us. It’s not that the surge is no longer working, they assure us.

It’s that it never did, I assure you.

Stupid idea. Too little. Too late.

A band aid applied with the hope it would staunch the wound long enough for Dick-in-Bush to make a getaway. It was a matter of time until the dam breached itself by an artery that just wasn’t able to contain the pressure of all that blood.

They don’t have another one.

In what may be the cruelest and simultaneously most hysterical whirling dervish of irony I’ve ever witnessed, our nation has an immediate and affordable solution to the shattered back of our fighting force. The numbers are somewhere between twelve and twenty million. It’ll be a little less logistically efficacious if we decide to build that stupid border fence, but still doable.

Just think, we could all sleep a little easier knowing that we’re finally justified in paying them a fair wage as well as covering their medical needs etc.

See, they’d be dying for us while we sleep and have barbecues on Sunday. Well, not us, but the military industrial complex.

Draft the illegals!

I feel comfortable playing the race card.

Not really.

In other news, our Little Bootlicker pissed all over a bill that sought to mandate equal pay for women because he feared the lawsuits that would emerge. Um, isn’t that the point asshole?

Don’t forget, Doubtfire is on record as in favor of permanent tax cuts to the wealthy while we are facing perhaps the worst economic disaster since the Great Depression. Rice is being rationed in America for fuck’s sake. He’s cool with us staying in Iraq for a hundred years and it explains it with the example of our presence in Germany or South Korea.

Anybody remember any American soldiers dying in either of those two countries in combat in say, the last three decades?

Both Shrillary and McCain are in favor of a moratorium on federal gas tax for the summer. Great idea. Profound and inspired despite it’s being another goddamn blatant and pandering populist band aid to demonstrate how they feel our pain.

Never mind the jobs and money lost to our highway and bridge repair infrastructure, it won’t save you shit.

Check the crab in a bucket metaphor from the last blog.

Another suggestion along the same lines would be a mandate that all children, everywhere walk to school. Not even parents can drive them. They must get there under their own power. Can you imagine the money that could be saved?

We should go back to making everything out of wood. Soft drink containers and dashboards and polyester pants for fat people as well as the the stylistically challenged. Lenses and guns and amplifiers. Imagine a wooden computer.

You could safely use Pledge on it.

Why, it’s a renewable resource.

In America, the lights are on, but nobody’s home.

How did we become the stupidest and richest country on earth?

Wait. I know

Lust and greed?

Beer?

Gin!

Tonight on CNN, Michelle Obama said of the Wright controversy, she was finished talking about it. as is her husband, and that the issue would only die when the media diegns to acquiesce. I shouldn’t be allowed to say it after that last sentence but. WORD.

Every once in awhile I wonder if we all aren’t just stupid enough to not realize we are pell mell towards either the sun melting us, or a demise of our own.

Like the sun melting us.

I can see the world on my plasma TV. I communicate with all of you via a MAC. I have hand held devices that I can talk to the world with or control the signals beamed at me from a satellite in orbit.

I don’t see much progress. So far, no big picture shared by a majority of our species. It’s still neanderthal. Set huge fires. Everyman for himself. Get yourself a woman. Bacon is good.

Drinks for my friends.

Yesterday Dumbya, in an earnest impersonation of Alfred E. Newman, told us no worries, we’re not in a recession.

Oil up over one hundred seventeen dollars a barrel. Up from thirty or so under Clinton. You’re all aware, I’m sure, of the mortgage bloodbath. The job deficit. Half a million a minute in Iraq on CREDIT.

Those stimulus checks are on the way. Help you out with that two hundred percent increase at the pump. Yep, help to pay ExxonMobile. Richest corporation in the history of man. Sounds good. Nice little circle of larceny.

It goes on and on.

(CNN) — John McCain’s campaign sent supporters a fundraising e-mail Friday that claims Hamas approves of Democrat Barack Obama’s foreign policy vision, and is hoping for his victory this fall.

I guess there’s some truth to this but for fuck’s sake people, you think they’d put their money on a man like Doubtfire who thinks we can hang around for a hundred more years?

I an upcoming interview on 60 Minutes, Supreme Court Antonin Scalia says of the controversial decision which handed Bush the Whitehouse in two thousand that America needs to “Get over it”.

I hate that prick. You know, he and Darth Cheney are pals.

And once again we are being beaten about the head shoulders with the opinions of Jeremiah Wright. I will point out again, ad nauseam , there isn’t much of what he said that isn’t true. How goddamn sad our man is being impugned by the media for truths he did not even utter.

“In a fiery sermon in April 2003, Wright said: “The government gives them the drugs, builds bigger prisons, passes three-strike laws and wants them to sing God Bless America.”

“God damn America … for killing innocent people.”

“God damn America for threatening citizens as less than humans”

“God damn America as long as she tries to act like she is God and supreme.”

“We have supported state terrorism against the Palestinians and black South Africans, and now we are indignant because of stuff we have done overseas is now brought back into our own backyard. America is chickens coming home to roost.”

“Barack knows what it means living in a country and a culture that is controlled by rich white people,” Wright said. “Hillary would never know that.”

“Hillary ain’t never been called a nigger. Hillary has never had a people defined as a non-person.”

-All quotes from FOXNews.com

You motherfucking tell me what is dishonest or untruthful about any of that. America’s problem is that she cannot handle the truth. Goddamnit and goddman you who would question that. We are a society of cowards, hypocrites and cold calculating reptiles.

On September 18, 2006, Pastor John Hagee — whose endorsement Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) said this past Sunday he was “glad to have” — told NPR’s Terry Gross that “Hurricane Katrina was, in fact, the judgment of God against the city of New Orleans.” “New Orleans had a level of sin that was offensive to God,” Hagee said, because “there was to be a homosexual parade there on the Monday that the Katrina came.”

Now, that offends me and my sensibilities.

Shrillary is ahead in the popular vote if you count Florida and Michigan even though they all agreed they don’t count. That’s her new bugle from atop the hill.

Gimme a fucking break.

Anybody notice we’re not talking about the war?

It’s pretty bad again.

I believe the second and last time I heard my mother say the word “fuck”, her sentence was something like, “We are the best country on earth and we are going to fuck it up.”

The first time had something to do with me not vacuuming the astro turf on the porch in front of the trailer when I was fourteen.

I am in awe. I can’t believe this shit.

You people are as hopelessly gullible as a small gathering of primates. I don’t doubt they’d be embarrassed eventually.

They are ramming this shit down your throats because the only thing that gets you off is to gag on it.

Understand that this is a man who comes from just a slightly different place than most of you and I. That’s a good thing. Just consider, he has already seen what you are about to see and he may just be the man to help you through it. Change must come. It’s only now begun to arrive. The antidote will only come from a man such as this. I don’t see any others, and if you’re smart, you’ll be happy he’s here.

And stop worrying that he’s some sort of Muslim or that he hates America.

Don’t be a damn fool.

Drinks for my friends.

I can barely bring myself to talk about it. I was both entertained and informed by the local CBS 2 news at eleven. I regret that I can’t exactly remember why.

I’m not yet prepared to say people in their forties shouldn’t smoke pot.

Laura Diaz still inspires lust but the whole team seems more vacuous than ever. Insipid. Ridiculous. She’s too skinny for me anyway.

Pennsylvania goes on the block tomorrow. Could be heaviosity.

I’m a little excited.

Wait.

Can I be anticipatory?

Laura Diaz is banging Jimmy the sports guy. I can tell by the way she introduces his segment. Pretty cozy. She calls him Jimmy.

Jim Hill is almost bad enough to be as good as Fernell Chapman or the late Hal Fishman.

Guess the Lakers are doing well and Kobe is happy. Thank Sheezus and Jimmy.

I hear Dumbya was on Deal Or No Deal. I watched that show once, for forty eight seconds.

I hear the Pope was here.

Pennsylvania goes on the block tomorrow.

Could be the big one. Be all to end all.

Were our man Obama able to keep within say, five or six points, most pundits would see him as victorious. You already knew that.

The official Brainspank forecast is for our man to do at least that well.

People are tired. The ones that aren’t actually stupid are tired of being called that and are actually paying attention. For what’s it’s worth, he didn’t call them stupid. He called them pissed off with good reason, and he was right.

Nearly the entire mainstream media labeled deliberate nuance a watercolor rendered by fingers. Fools. Looks like the people got it.

He is smarter, more inspired and far less beholding than the other two.

I imagine there were swaths of our history where a combination of such virtues may not have matched so perfectly with what is so desperately needed as of yesterday.

No free lunch. He will inevitably disappoint us. No human could avoid that. But, he is our best bet. Young, full of piss, vinegar and what I hope is a sincere and realistic helping of idealism.

I’m completely willing to cast my vote for this man and his wife. I imagine that will be your choice come November Pennsylvania, work with me here.

It is REALLY important you don’t screw this up.

Make America proud, you backward ass country fucks.

Drinks for my friends.

So I wrote a pretty incendiary piece earlier this week on Pope Benedict’s visit. I’m not here to apologize, keep your panties from bunching. No mea culpa here bitches, I’m just gonna elaborate.

I suppose it’s only fair I acknowledge that Pontiff Benedict spent face time with a handfull of sex abuse victims by priests during his visit this week. So noted. It was the right thing to do.

My friends and I have a saying we got from Chris Rock. “Don’t try to take credit for shit you should be doing anyway”, or something like that. What we really say is “Well, you know what Chris Rock says.”

I’m amused by the talking heads debating if what he’s done is enough. Can you guess what I think? Bet you can. My answer is, not even fucking close. I’m not unhappy about what he’s done. If the man has the courage of his convictions however, he has much more to do.

No need to pore over all the details. If you’ve been paying attention, you know enough of the story. Suffice it to say, it’s been a travesty, a cancer, a tragic malignancy that has left thousands damaged beyond repair. Thousands who’ve had their dignity and the innocence of youth stolen, absconded, by no mere evil priest, but by a culture of repression and rot both pervasive and systemic.

It is that culture that must be addressed. It is there that change must absolutely begin. At the foundation. The very roots. The condemnation of homosexuality and the ridiculous notion that priests must remain chaste to be holy. A culture of repression. A culture that is archaic and absurd.

How can one honestly believe that under such circumstances, under a bureaucracy so corrupt, that America is the only country in which such rampant and egregious abuse has been allowed to flourish? No fucking way. Watch this debacle unfold and you will surely learn that it is world wide. The real estate soaked by this stain will spread across the globe to wherever Catholics wield power.

Cardinals Bernard Francis Law (who now resides safely at the Vatican) and Mahoney, should be prosecuted to the fullest extent jurisprudence will accomodate. These two at least, are the epitome of an evil that you and I can only guess at. It’s bullshit that these men and countless others are allowed to remain free from punishment and incarceration. Pope Benedict, should demonstrate to America that he gives a mad fuck by cooperating in any process necessary to bring these men to trial.

They are goddamn pedophiles by association and compliance at the very least.

No more two billion dollar civil judgements. What is needed by the institution is criminal proceedings to pair the darkest of men with the fate and punishment they purchased long ago.

Unless and until such an action can be supplied motion by the pontifex in charge, Pope Benedict, the institution of Catholicism and it’s infrastructure will continue to decay and atrophy into obsolescence while it’s spiritual influence wanes.

Let me just say this. How can you people insist that I embrace your version of God while the rot from your basement invades your rafters? That is insane.

Drinks for my friends.

Pope Benedict XVI showed up today in America. Boy, am I excited. Did you know there’s like seventy million Catholics in this country? Did you know that by being Catholic you’re automatically full of shit? Trust me, I know a few Catholics and some of them are nice, but all of them, completely full of shit.

It’s true, I loathe Catholicism. Gays will burn in hell. Third world countries shouldn’t be allowed access to birth control because premarital sex is a sin. Then there’s the rampant and chronic ass raping of children by priests. That last one is a big one. I hear it just cost them two billion bucks. That’s maybe a day and half in Iraq.

I really could go on and on and on………

Allow me to lend you some perspective. People jumped all over Barack Obama a few weeks back because the pastor of his church was percieved by some to have insulted America. How could he belong to such a church? Why didn’t he leave that church and denounce that man?

Despite the fact that Jeremiah Wright spoke the truth, it occurs to me to ask this question: How the fuck can you people, nearly seventy million of you, in all good conscience, remain Catholic?

So I’m pretty sure I saw his image today.

I was walking along skid row and in a river of crap and piss, I glimpsed a piece of toast that made me think of this fuck’s face. True, it did look a little like Dick Cheney. Anyway, I was in a bad way, so I puked bile and snot after I was certain that I saw the face of the Pope in a slice of toast floating in human sewage running down the street.

None of this is true, by the way.

I was positive that what I saw was divine so I called every cable news show I could think of on a pay phone and asked them to meet me there in front of the booth. I had a pocket full of quarters from the the jerk off stalls earlier in my evening.

I’d lifted the countenance of the current pope in the form of a toast wedge from the gutter with my left foot and placed it neatly on the floor of the the last phone booth on skid row.

Guess what? They all came. Helicopters and vans. Crazy. I told them I’d been backpacking in the Andes for the last ten years. I ate grass and drank tea. I told them my meat of choice was yak. They nodded like it made sense.

I tell them it’s him and they’ll see because his ears and forehead are scary accurate in that morsel of toast.

I tell them, I can’t forgive this man for what he’s done and what he presides over.

I tell them he should be arrested while he’s in this country and I’m sure that’s when they decide to arrest me. I try to tell them how Cardinal Mahoney is Darth fucking Vader.

I end up in a cell. He ends up with the ass of any child he desires while candles and incense burn.

I’m just trying to make a point here. Both these fucks belong in handcuffs.

Can you believe this shit?

This fuck coming here?

Want a poster boy for religion as complete crap?

I do get carried away.

Forgive me.

I call them like I see them.

You know this prick was a Nazi?

Fuck the Pope.

Drinks for my friends.

Admonitory perhaps.

This whole thing with this ‘sect’ of the LDA in Laredo Texas, serves as one or both of the above. Once again religion rears it’s misshapen countenance right here in America. Texas of all places. Utah, Colorado and Texas.

I’m just saying.

An entire belief system built around the idea that the rape of children by middle aged men is somehow not just permissable in God’s eyes, but an act that is holy. When the sons that are produced by these holy unions come of age, they are seen as competition and discarded.

Now, if that were the history or legacy of my church, I’d tip the fuck out the door.

Kind of ironic that they’ve been under investigation in our own country for four years while we’ve had prisoners in Gitmo for at least as long because someone smelled a little sulphur.

Yep, God works in mysterious ways.

All religion is filthy. Greedy. Self serving and far more concerned about preservation of the bureaucracy than any individual or group.

“Imagine there’s no heaven
It’s easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today…” -John Lennon

Since it’s inception, the concept of religion has served to explain things, phenomena, coincidence and injustice for which humanity has no other logical explanation. It used to be that religion WAS science. Since inception, religion in almost every form, has accomplished this with lies, corruption and egregious criminality.

It is a very clear and consistent pattern.

The further time marches, the more religion is beset by reason and intelligence.

Let us not dive headlong into the history of wars, genocides and tortures perpetrated in the name of someone’s God. That’s not a book, it’s an encyclopedia.

Religion is at the wheel in our politics no less than any Middle Eastern nation.

Tax the goddamn churches and hang that fucker Cardinal Mahoney for making a career out of protecting pedophile priests. How is that not worse than the LDS whack jobs?

The answer is!

The Catholics are filthy stinking rich.

The single most insidious problem in the world community is and always has been, that in most places, we are are raised with the imperative that in order to be whole and complete, we must worship a God.

I’m calling bullshit on that.

How about self reliance and personal accountability? I’m not the world’s best adjusted human, but it’s worked for me so far.

I’m not here to tell you there isn’t a God. If there is one, I doubt most of us can understand it, and I’m sure as fuck the religions I know aren’t even close. As long as we’re on the subject, not all churches are bad. If you attend to socialize and find ways to do positive things, good for you. Good people are most often the people who make doing the right thing a priority.

At the same time, when I meet an overly zealous man, I understand the chances of him being full of shit are more than good enough for me to bet on.

My name is Michael and I am an agnostic.

Keep your Jesus off my penis.

Drinks for my friends.