We now know that the Attorney General of the United States of America is a goddamn liar. Last week, James Comey detailed a mad dash he made to beat Gonzales and Andrew Card to one seriously ill John Ashcroft’s bedside to give him the heads up.

See, Comey was the acting AG at the time and he beat the Whitehouse Chief of Staff and the Whitehouse Counsel to the hospital. Ashcroft and Comey agreed that Dick-in-Bush were indeed breaking the law, they had been for two and a half years.

Then the Frothing Blackhats entered stage right. They commenced to vociferously and with elaborate indignity demand a reversal of the Judicial check to the Executive imbalance

Ashcroft and Comey were in agreement and they told the Blackhats to piss up a fucking rope.

Ha! Ashcroft, that crazy wierd little bastard has principles. Who knew?

Oh and, Comey had Robert Mueller with him. Mueller was the director of the FBI and he was a bit of a right wing jackass. He was there to insure that Comey not be removed. The Head Cheese of The Effa-Bee-Eye had sided with Ashcroft and Comey against the Whitehouse.

***********************************************************************

Ladies and Gentlemen:

There has been a slight emergency, a very minor constitutional crisis if you will. We just need to insure that there are no more hard right, rich neoconservatives left in the theater.

Ok, good. They’re all gone.

The lights stop flashing. The alarms go silent.

Enjoy the film.

The venue dims and we see Barbara Streisand working in an abortion clinic.

The theater fills with smoke and then flame. The liberals wail like children. Like little girls.

We now return you to our regularly…………..

************************************************************************

The date that law required the document to be endorsed passed. The Whitehouse informed the Department of Justice that it was going ahead with it’s now officially illegal domestic spying program.

See, the Blackhat Gang are headed up by Pa Cheney and Ma Rove and there’s not a mad fuck between them when it comes to what Americans need, what’s best for us or what our WILL is. They just don’t care.

What happened next was inspiringly crazy. With balls the size of casabas wrought from an alloy so pure as to allow each pair to clang in key, our heroes walked in stride and formed a chord.

Ashcroft, Mueller, Comey and various members of their respective staffs made it clear that they were willing to shoot it out with the Blackhat Gang. They did so by threatening to resign and therefore, talk about why they walked.

Are our cowboys heroes? Nope. They’d all been fitted for and owned at least one very Black hat. They were members of the Gang. What they did was turn ‘Yella’.

Should we be grateful?

You fuckin-A we should.

And that lying Prick Gonzales, said there was no internecine conflict or debate even, over an issue that is certainly among the most important in our history. He is dissonant. Tone deaf.

All of the Blackhats are deaf or damn near. That’s why they talk so loud.

Drinks for my friends.

The world’s preeminent hypocrite has taken the dirt
nap. Jerry Falwell was the epitome of everything that
is evil about organized religion.

Now he’s goddamn dead and not a microsecond too soon.
Hang on kids, this is going to be an angry piece,
and I intend to enjoy it. With all sincerity and
vigor I say fuck that piece of shit.

Forgive me or not, but this dirtbag crossed too many
lines. He sucked.

This man had the sociopathic narcistic temerity to
posit that the purple teletubby was homosexual for
carrying a purse and that gays and lesbians et al.
were the reason that three thousand people died on
September 11, 2001. I wonder if he knew that his very
own government, the same one foisted on the rest of us
by his christian fundamentalist right, was complicit
in the events of that day.

And, the events of this day.

A knave masquerading as a charlatan who devoted his
life to encouraging people with as mere a thing as a
different opinion to as all important a thing as an
inherent and genetic prediposition of gender
preference, to feel less than he and his followers.
Lots less, like burning for eternity kinda less. Like suicide kinda less. He
fomented hate and fear and bathed unapoligetically in
the filthy lucre his vitriol generated.

His worst trangression remains his calculated
vivisectional offensive into American politics. He
succeeded rather spectacularly at legislating his own
brand of morality under Reagan. It began with the usurping of that toad
Jim Baker.

Jimmy Carter, a polite man of devout faith, a man
who’s emerged as a Nobel Peace Prize winning
humanitarian and philosopher, told this prick Falwell
to go to hell.

I hope he choked or something. Really, nothing
peaceful, like passing in his slumber. See, by the
time he was finished, until the day he died, if you
were a politician, you just might be fucked without
him. And whatever you do, don’t piss him off. Present
tense intended. This ghost will haunt us.

And to all his followers; this is the best you could
do? This is your spokesman? Your man of god? This
self righteous, judgemental harlequin? You people are
ignorant, pious, frightened fools.

If the concept of justice remains exempt from archaic,
I anticipate Mr. Falwell to be waking up any minute in
his worst nightmare of hell with a mouth full of shit.

Hope I pissed somebody off.

Drinks for my friends.

A rambling response to my friends blog. PhatShady

Careful with the opiates my friend.

It is a fascinating post. If prostitution is the world’s oldest profession then perhaps slavery, in one form or another, is mankind’s oldest way of life.

Without question, America would not be the economic and military powerhouse it is today, even in it’s current wobbly state, without the broken backs of just about every color.

Look at what we did to Native Americans.

The Irish an the Italians suffered under some pretty brutal discrimination in the 19th century in America. The Irish for example, were simply here to escape poverty and a famine in their own country.

They got drunk. They were unemployed. Bastard children. The rest of America loathed them.

Long story short, forgive my brevity here, light skinned immigrants have gradually but steadily been able to integrate into American society and culture. If your skin is a different color, or your features are demonstrably different from the anglo saxon/protestant, you know, norm? Here in the melting pot? Well, the whole thing moves way slower. As we speak, it’s still a century behind in some ways and spectacularly so in some places.

I think it’s kinda funny and absurd that idiot Romney has the temerity to call Reverend Al a bigot. Boy, that was dumb. And yeah, I think Al was going after mormons. To be completely honest with you, I enjoyed it. I give him a pass. The church of latter day saints has, at least in recent history, been racist by way of DOCTRINE.

So I say, fuck ’em.

I’ve finally found something that Christopher Hitchins and I can agree on, limey arrogant prick that he is. Religion is toxic. Does more harm than good. Al’s a pentecostal minister. In my mind, much less wierd than the sacred underwear wearers.

And I like Al. I have nothing but disdain for guys like Willard Mitt Romney and Ralph Reed. Methinks they are racist pricks. And insincere. Who names their kid Willard Mitt? Sheezus.

Al’s speech at the Democratic convention in ’04 was a motherfuckin house afire. His great grandfather was owned by the Family of Strom Thurmond. I like Al.

Sorry Phat, got a little carried away.

So anyway. Baseball has been taken over by Latins and South Americans. I got no problem with that. Except the rich white infrastructure. Dumbya had a piece of the Texas Rangers ya know.

Sorry again……………..

Now we have this debate after Michael Richards emerged as an obvious asshole and Imus did the jackass reveal for the hundreth time. What took them so long? Guys like Sharpton and Geoffrey Canada (prez & Ceo of Harlem Children’s Zone) are piling on like nobody’s business.

Ten years ago Sharpton was all about no censorship, particularly in hip hop. Now I like The Reverend Al, I’m not always sure why, but I do. Always thought he was a bit of loon, sometimes a goddamn cartoon, but sincere.

By the way, where’s Jesse?

And I think it’s entirely possible that the hip hop/rap musical genre and the culture surrounding it has visited more ignorance than enlightenment on the black community. In fact, I think it’s probable.

Having said that, I remember when Tipper Gore went after everyone from Dee Snider to Frank Zappa. Ozzy Ozbourne and Judas Priest were being sued in civil court over lyrical content and potential culpability in teenage suicide.

And I fucking knew how ridiculous that was.

I am the epitome of the bleeding heart liberal and Mr. First Amendment. Censorship is my personal satan. I understand that this inherent right affords us the ability to say what we wish while simultaneously exposing us to ideas and thoughts, speech, that will offend our sensibilities to the core. There is no free lunch.

If you’ve followed me down the road this far, maybe you see the same bridge I do. It spans the fire in a crowded theatre/inciting violence chasm. It’s always been in disrepair. No more so than now and for a myriad of reasons beyond this issue.

Should all urban music be subject to censorship?

The answer is not whether or not, but if so, by whom?

The government? That’s an emphatic no for me. Morality cannot be legislated, not merely because it slides so dramatically back and forth. It’s like trying to define normal, it changes every few weeks. It’s just not a task appropriate for any body politic.

I suspect change may be needed here, but it’s up to the community that is both responsible for the damage wrought and suffers the most as a result.

The only viable and legitimate solution must come from inside the people most affected. Those with the most to gain and to lose.

Drinks for my friends.

I’m kinda aggravated. But I don’t have much. To say,
that is. Well, that’s not true.

I mean, Oprah’s getting hotter. She really is. If
you see her, tell her I said that. Tell her I like
her hair.

Dick-in-Bush swung the veto at the damp end of a
shriveled phallus today. With a retarded, clenched
orifice resolve, they smote the will of the people, as
well as the legislative arm of the republic.

Struck down, was the rather popular notion that we get
the fuck out of Iraq, because it was a mistake to
begin with and because most of us (not me), bought the
lie.

Let he who hath understanding, reckon the number of
the beast. For it is a human number. It’s number is
28%.

These guys are starting to really look like clowns.
Tenet is on 60 Minutes the other night saying it
wasn’t his fault and they all knew it was bullshit.
We already know that to be true. What’s kinda funny
is, the very next day a herd of underlings come
forward to tell us that Tenet has as much blood on his
hands as everyone else.

Don’t forget, this asswipe got the highest honor a
civilian citizen can recieve. Dumbya himself awarded
Tenet, Franks and Bremer The Presidential Medal of
Freedom at the same time, on the same stage.

The Keystone Cops of Operation Iraqi Freedom. The
Musketeers most responsible.

So much for the military. So much for the executive
and legislative branch.

Judicial branch? I don’t fucking know. Gonzalez is a
douchebag though. Dumbya has even more confidence in
him now that he was able to utter some version of “I
don’t know” over seventy times under oath and on TV
with a straight face.

See, Dumbya’s thinking, “I could do that. If that’s
all I ever had to say, you bet, I could do that”.

Meanwhile, Cheney hasn’t crapped in weeks. Poor
bastard has nothing but full, unopened cans of vienna
sausages in his colon and he just can’t seem to pass
even one. Sooner or later they will emerge as flawed
diamonds or he’s gonna explode like a caged calf on a
liquid diet intended for veal.

I’m actually waiting for the whole thing to blow wide
open. We’re close. It will be preceded by civil
unrest. Americans are stupid but this is ridiculous.
When the going gets wierd, the wierd turn pro. R.I.P.
HST.

I’m going on record here. I’m predicting the demise
of this administration before the next election. The
house of cards will fall. It will implode.

Drinks for my friends.

I’M SO SORRY FOR THE SANDWICH I’VE CAUSED YOU.

You know, maybe I put too much faith in intelligence. It has always been paramount to me. I think I’ve become naive about it.

I understand a lot of smart people possess a capacity for compassion that borders on the sublime. Yet, some of the smartest people to walk this world have been brutes.

Somehow, I’ve always given the intelligent ones a pass. With ethics and morals, it’s probably fifty fifty on a good day no matter how you codify the masses. Lower if you’re Christian. Ha!

The human population is an organ of the Earth.

The pendulum swings from conservative to kinda populist liberal every 7-10 years in this country. The United States is an organ of the world.

I don’t even want to go into which organ we are because it’s full of cancer.

Anyway. Perhaps good and evil are the same. They, the two prevailing social doctrines, are not static. They ebb and flow and subscribe to their own cycle.

Forgive me, I’m moving pretty fast, I just don’t want to belabor the point.

Therefore, so do all the individual organisms everywhere. Humans, for example, are reasonably complex and it goes with out saying that we all have our own clock.

Yes, I think I’ve observed this on an individual level of late, for the last few years actually. I worry about the amount of dark I see instead of light among humans.

I would imagine anyone paying attention hasn’t missed the the way of the world and the earth, lapping at the conscious.

Despite what I’ve seen just lately, my gut tells me that the pendulum is weightless. At it’s apogee, the very glimpse of time between the end of one arc and the beginning of another. So, perhaps what I’ve observed lately, is not what it will be soon. I hope.

I’m just sayin’.

Drinks for my friends.

Two things.

a) 5 subpoenas vs. 1052.

b) The Bill Moyers Journal debut “Buying The War”.

I’m gonna try to make a point here.

a) The Clinton administration, during it’s tenure, battled over a thousand subpoenas on individuals ranging from travel agents to Big Bad Bill hisself.

So far, the most corrupt, avaricious, arrogant administration in the history of the very idea of democracy, has made it’s way through a shitstorm of venom dripping wasps who produced a total of five subpoenas. Five. Three of them barely twenty four hours old.

Now, I know that we’ve had control of the house for a meager three months and there is no control to be had in the senate. But you gotta be fucking kidding me.

b) And then we consider Bill Moyers’ PBS offering of dogs and ponies. It was compelling. Well done. Revealing. I’m not sure I blinked.

Now, I’m a fan of Mr. Moyers. I’ve read his stuff. Smart, honest guy. And he did showcase the truth. It’s just that everyone from Rather to Russert, Judith Miller, William Safire, and Charles Krauthammer were confused and forgot to question an obvious superfund site of toxic lies. Humongous, not breathtaking, but lung collapsing lies.

You gotta be fucking kidding me.

I’m thinking to myself; I KNEW. I mean, I knew. Without a shadow of a doubt, it was obvious what was going on and most of the people around me were well aware as well. Even if we were in the minority, what does that say about the entirety of the American media juggernaut?

It says they’re either idiots or wimps, not excluding the possibility of some elixir thereof.

After listening to the news today and watching Moyers a day after it aired, I’m inclined to think that the media has become a doppelganger of the government. I use the the article ‘the’ as opposed to ‘our’, because neither institution has belonged to the people for some time.

I shouldn’t be suprised and it was serendipity that revealed to me that, just like our government, the fourth estate is full of a bunch of stupid fucking pussies.

Drinks for my friends.

There’s four on the right side and four on the wrong
side and the man in the middle is Justice Anthony
Kennedy and he’s a goddamn catholic.

Actually, I believe five are catholic.

Disclaimer: Some of my best friends are catholic.

Today the most elite quorum of our judicial branch
upheld a “ban on partial birth abortion”.

Fact: 0.17% is the latest number available of IDXs
(Intact dilation and extraction) performed in this
country of all abortions performed. Let me help you
out here; that’s less than a fifth of a hundredth.

The level of intensity and of every other expenditure in
this ridiculous fight is just absurd.

From Wikipedia:
“The non-medical term “Partial-birth Abortion” was
coined in 1995 by pro-life congressman Charles Canady
(R-Fla)[6] and is primarily used in political
discourse — chiefly regarding the legality of abortion
in the United States. The term’s first use may be from
the original proposed Partial-Birth Abortion Ban,
which circulated in discussion through the first half
of 1995 and was formally introduced by the congressman
on 14 June 1995.[7] Keri Folmar, the lawyer
responsible for the bill’s language, says the term
developed in early 1995 in a meeting between her,
Charles T. Canady, and National Right to Life
Committee lobbyist Douglas Johnson.[8] “Partial-birth
abortion” was first used in the media on 4 June 1995
in a Washington Times article covering the bill.[9]”

If you didn’t feel like reading that, let me synopsize
for ya. Blatant, shameless, arrogant and
conspiratorial obfuscation from what was then a callow
fringe movement anxiously awaiting the progeny of
neoconservative dogma and the christian right.

Sorry all you pucker mouthed fucktards, I’m here to
tell ya there’s not a horde of braless hippie women
decending on every clinic in the land with distended
bellies looking to drop a zero and find a hero in
their eight month. Don’t know what you’re gonna do with that diamond that’s been forming in your colon since the late 90’s.

This procedure is really rare, ok?

Forgive me. I had to gorp.

God I hate these bastards.

Dick-in-Bush are poised to gleefully veto any
federally funded stem cell research legislation.
Dumbya isn’t just candid about it, he brags about it
the same way he brags about swinging his shriveled
manhood to smite any spending bill that places limits
on the occupation of Iraq.

God I hate these fuckers.

Over 200 dead in Baghdad today.

On that note, let me point out just how long I could
go on…………….

And by the way, those of you unwashed approaching me en masse with the latest baby killer merit badge, Koreans are the new Muslims, or haven’t you watched the news lately.

Over 200 dead in Baghdad today.

Over 200 dead in Baghdad today.

Over 200 dead in Baghdad today.

Drinks for my friends.

Turned on the glass tit and CNN is doing a piece on religion vs. science. I’m not here to offend anyone but I’m certainly not afraid to either. But then, you knew that.

Here then, are my thoughts:

Creationism as opposed to evolution? A walk in the park. The idea that the earth is merely between six and ten thousand years old and that humans were created essentially as they are today is bullshit. The very notion is archaic and absurd.

Now, having said that, why do the concepts of creationism and evolution have to be mutually exclusive?

In my mind, it certainly didn’t transpire the way any western religion would have us believe.

All the religious texts including the bible, are but attempts at an explanation by people far more primitive than we today to elucidate our origin and provide reasons to abstain from killing our neighbors and stealing their stuff. At best these texts are metaphorical and symbolic.

And you know what? There’s not a lot wrong with that.

At least not in theory.

In practice however, it is my empirical observation that religion has done more to corrupt and subvert the decency of mankind than any other force or belief system. More lives lost and blood spilled in the name of the god du jour than for any other impetus in history.

Yet isn’t it somewhat arrogant for us to believe that our existence is the result of some random explosion and then a nearly impossible series of events and conditions that led to some sort of biologically rich primordial soup from which all the creatures we see today eventually emerged?

Again, why do the two concepts of creationism and evolution have to be mutually exclusive? Certainly the profound miracles of things like love and compassion are no accident. Forgive me, but kittens and flowers and a scorching guitar solo seem to stand out a little to me and fly in the face of the notion of some grand elaborate accident.

Here’s the deal; we have yet to even approach the answer. Therein lies the rub. Neither of the two conflicting concepts are adequate as rationale for why I pee standing up and women should probably squat, and other brain pulverizing ideas like horseradish and republicans.

Logic would dictate that either both are bogus or the answer lies somewhere in between.

I prefer the latter.

In my mind, there must be a higher power. But I don’t doubt that it has very little to do with some white guy with a fairly lustrous head of hair and beard. The bible is a fable. C’mon, if Jesus lived, he was most likely black. That doesn’t bother me in the slightest. It really chaps the ass of some dude in Alabama named Bubba though. And that’s just silly.

Christianity is is rife with contradictions and hypocrisy. It’s disturbing and disgusting to posit that an individual will suffer agony for eternity because of sexual preference. Regardless of whether that proclivity is genetic or by choice makes little difference to me. Muslims for example, are forbidden to wipe their asses with their right hand or eat/drink with the left. I’m sure that made sense five thousand years ago when the concept of germs was callow at best, but these days it’s just ridiculous. The same can be said of the various kosher ceremonies of food preperation and consumption.

I am agnostic but that is not at odds with my spiritual nature. In important ways, humility is fundamental. It’s important to not just tolerate, but accommodate other’s beliefs. It’s important to be aware of the fact that we can’t be sure we know any better.

Yet, I will not waiver in my disdain for those ignorant and judgemental. With all sincerity, I do not give a mad fuck what your book says if it’s your excuse to discriminate, malign or commit violence.

Drinks for my friends.

I think I want to write something. It’s kind of a
pain in the ass though, because I don’t have anything
to say.

We could talk about the uh, Alberto Gonzalez vs.
honest government prosecuters in in leu of Karl with a
‘K’ Rove debacle. It’s actually kind of exciting to
think of that prick Rove being blendered on the stand,
under oath and his little dog Cheney too.

Now that I’ve testified under oath in a federal court,
I’m feeling pretty savvy about the entire judicial
spectrum. I’m an expert. Need me to interpret the
law for ya? Negotiate a contract? Give a key note
address on the constitution? Solve your divorce?

I now comprehend the entirety of the law.

I have mastered this domain.

From now on, whenever legal matters are in play, I’m
to be referred to as “The Shit”.

I’ve consulted with a tailor and robes are being
fashioned.

Among the privileges I’ve seen fit to bestow upon
myself:

1) I can now literally waltz (and I will) into any
court of law and pronounce judgement on the case being
tried.

2) I’m allowed to assail and strike anyone in the
courtroom. Whether it be plaintiff or defendent,
juror or judge, bailiff or custodian. I will invoke
this right with great vengeance and violence and without
hesitation.

3) My personal realm of jurisprudence will extend to
all corners of the earth, it’s oceans and the media.
I can, and will intervene whenever and wherever I feel
it necessary. Look for me on TV bitch slapping
various celebrity lawyers like Nancy Grace and that
dickhead who defended Scott Peterson.

Here’s a few other things I’ve mastered:
The art of recording a drumkit.
Chopsticks. Kinda.
How to clean a bathroom pretty fuckin fast.
I just committed to a monthly donation to the ASPCA.
Just now. Really.
Shopping at the 7-11. Go ahead, ask me if they have
it.
I also commited to a coffee table I found on craig’s
list…….
Arguing with wine clerks. Saint Nick wanted a little
rematch tonight I guess.
Cats. As much as one can.
Grazing instead of any proper dinner.
Mac & cheese.
Oh well, recording just about anything.
International commerce and computer
forensics/diagnostics.
Nano technology.
Sandwiches. Seriously. Not as good as Sean but.
Distinguishing between good and bad, right and wrong
and one of these things is not like the other.
Judging character.
There’s just something about Laura Diaz on channel 2.
She’s an insipid Barbie Doll with a pull string tied
to a loop hidden by her bra strap, but well, sorry.

Ok, Let’s move on.

Imagine four corners filled by the following. A
middle aged catholic wine abusing woman, an early
thirties Mexican American and all around sports
enthusiast, a six foot four, middle thirties mildly
bipolar sonafabitch who actually does that fantasy
leaugue stuff, whatever that is, and me. The three (besides me) following March Madness by the fucking second.

Me, not so much.

We all eat lunch together. Needless to say, far too
much of our mealtime interaction and conversation is
dominated by this vapid detritus. I mention Rove may
have to testify under oath and the three of us who
don’t give a mad fuck about March madness search each
others faces while they discuss the demise of Duke and
speculate on the outcome of UCLA vs. Kansas.

I watched the end of that game by the way. I gather
that UCLA has a penis that is aprox. 1/16th of an inch
longer than that of Kansas. I never would have
thought that a city could be better hung than a state.

I also watched the end of that Ohio vs. Tennessee
game. Interesting that although the outcome was as
leak proof as a duck’s ass, the stands were at least a
third empty.

Mirth burgeoned in my chest as I realized I wasn’t the
only American who didn’t really care despite being
entertained by a brief glimpse of the contest.

It didn’t take long for me to understand, with my
newfound judicial prowess and abundant epiphanies
involving college basketball, that I was indeed better
than everyone else. This comforts me.

Drinks for my friends.

Good-bye Joe, me gotta go, me oh my oh
Me gotta go pole the pirogue down the bayou
My Yvonne, the sweetest one, me oh my oh
Son of a gun, we’ll have big fun on the bayou

Jambalaya and a crawfish pie and file’ gumbo
‘Cause tonight I’m gonna see my ma cher amio
Pick guitar, fill fruit jar and be gay-o
Son of a gun, we’ll have big fun on the bayou

Thibodeaux, Fontainenot, the place is buzzin’
Kinfolk come to see Yvonne by the dozen
Dress in style and go hog wild, me oh my oh
Son of a gun, we’ll have big fun on the bayou

Jambalaya and a crawfish pie and file’ gumbo
‘Cause tonight I’m gonna see my ma cher amio
Pick guitar, fill fruit jar and be gay-o
Son of a gun, we’ll have big fun on the bayou

Settle down, far from town, get me a pirogue
And I’ll catch all the fish in the bayou
Swap my mon to buy Yvonne what she need-o
Son of a gun, we’ll have big fun on the bayou

Jambalaya and a crawfish pie and file’ gumbo
‘Cause tonight I’m gonna see my ma cher amio
Pick guitar, fill fruit jar and be gay-o
Son of a gun, we’ll have big fun on the bayou

Hank Williams Sr. “Jambalaya”

***********************************************************************

Sometimes, I just can’t countenance the randomness of
life.

I mean, why is the matter of Iraq even a debate?

What are we doing?

We have Darfur.

Before that, Rwanda.

Around the same time, Kosovo and Croatia.

There, we chose to intervene. Perhaps ten thousand
white people.

In Rwanda, close to a million.

Darfur, hundreds of thousands.

HERE’S THE DEAL.

We have as much control over the natural resources and
industry in those two African countries as we desire
at this point.

Our powers that be, the American crucible, decided
long ago that they cannot afford to have
another entire continent sucking at the tit of what
little milk mother earth has left.

So we ignore them. Take what we need, sprinkle
antibiotics on the corrupt governments so they can
sell them on the black market while we take more of what we
need.

We allow the Catholic church to forbid condoms, while
the people procreate and then die of sexually transmitted
disease.

Let’s be honest here; distribute condoms and tell
them how to use them if you want to at least begin
saving them.

But no. Our alleged morals prevent us from promoting
promiscuity.

What are we doing?

It’s fucking sick.

************************************************************************

We obsess over vacuous bimbos most likely blond. One
dead and the other imploding and unable to keep her
cooch away from a camera lense.

We simply, have no idea whatsoever.

As we live and contemplate our next purchase, there
are children that lack the strength to keep flies out
of their mouths. Worms emerge from their extremities
with excruciating pain . These people are sick and
death surrounds them. They suffer beyond our capacity
to imagine.

What are we doing?

And in our own country. We incarcerate more people
per capita than any nation on earth.

A storm, a massive storm, slammed our gulf region and
the damage and the people remain without solace. They
are forgotten in our own country.

Our veterans from a bullshit war, a war based on lies
that has done nothing more than make every aspect of
every angle look look foolish and greedy, our soldiers,
now languish in their own urine.

Dick-in Bush began their tenure as thespians on the world stage with Attorney General and freakshow John Ashcroft. Kept his penis in a Gerber babyfood jar on the nightstand and was genuinely offended by the naked breast of a one hundred year old statue. He walked.

Our aronists laureate replaced him with a good soldier. One wannabe member of the Fourth Reich named Alberto R. Gonzales.

And just today, we learn that Dick-in-Bush floated an idea that would have had U.S. Attorney General Gonzales fire all 93 U.S. attorneys and replace them with more like minded sycophantic cronies. Are you fucking serious?

Yes, I am.

The biggest thorn in the side of this administration thus far, and it ain’t saying much, has been an independent judiciary. Hardly independent after the highest court in the land handed the 2000 presidential election to a gibbon in a suit in a decision that was completely outside their jurisdiction. I mean, when it comes to procedural matters regarding voting, it’s clearly an issue of state’s rights. Why has no one else raised an objection based on this?

Seriously. I came up with that on my own. Never heard it anywhere else.

You all now owe me a can of beer. Cold.

As a result, eight were fired. Seven in the same day. For “poor performance”.

Today Alberto’s chief of staff, D. Kyle Sampson, walked away. Big suprise. He resigned because he is aware of just how far off the cliff the story is likely to go. Say…….plunging. I’m going with plunging.

Boys and girls, this is the judicial branch of our government we’re talking about here. The check to the balance. The deliberate erosion of such an institution will surely coincide with the atrophy of our republic. It is the last bulwark we have as a free people against
tyranny.

It’s sick.

What are we doing?

The ideas of truth and justice in this country have now become mere concepts. Both, archaic and obsolete.

************************************************************************

We have failed.

As a society.

As a country.

As a people.

We have failed.

This is really bad. We walk away. We play the lotto.
We watch reality TV. We suck.

Who’s paying attention? How often are we thinking
about this?

As I sit and type, our arsonists laureate plan the next conflagration. They replace the letter ‘Q’ with the letter ‘N’ and off we go.

What are we doing?

Thanks for indulging me……………..

Drinks for my friends.

Now they’re planning the crime of the century

Well what will it be?

Read all about their schemes and adventuring

It’s well worth a fee

So roll up and see

And they rape the universe

How they’ve gone from bad to worse

Who are these men of lust, greed, and glory?

Rip off the masks and let’s see.

But that’s not right – oh no, what’s the story?

There’s you and there’s me

That can’t be right

Supertramp “Crime Of The Century”

What are we doing?

Speaking Friday at the annual Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) in Washington, D.C., Coulter closed her remarks with: “I was going to have a few comments on the other Democratic presidential candidate, John Edwards, but it turns out you have to go into rehab if you use the word ‘faggot,’ so I – so kind of an impasse, can’t really talk about Edwards.”

This, from the same woman who, when commenting on her percieved latent homosexuality of Bill Clinton said “I don’t know if he’s gay. But Al Gore – total fag.”

Thanks Ann. I’m so grateful that you were able to frame the debate for us in such a way as to make it crystal fucking clear that all three individuals, their contributions to society, their intellectual prowess and their goodwill, are all rendered obsolete by your profoundly spurious assertion that they are gay.

You see, I’m quite sure that Ms. Coulter is the right wing equivalent of Andrew Dice Clay. It’s schtick. Dice admitted that his misogyny was an act. Coulter has yet to own her bigotry, homophobia and otherwise incendiary rhetoric as anything other than genuine. Perhaps it’s funny to the uptight diamond crapping rednecks and lone wolf Dick-in-Bush supporters, I don’t know. I stopped laughing a long time ago.

This simian phalanged cunt has done nothing more than pollute the once fairly pure waters of public discourse to the point where this sort of thing is not seen for what it is, but is rather held by conventional wisdom to be um , funny.

What a shame. What a goddamn shame.

The same woman who barked, with her overtly masculine adam’s apple bobbing in her freakishly elongated neck, “These broads are millionaires, lionized on TV and in articles about them, reveling in their status as celebrities and stalked by grief-arazzis. I’ve never seen people enjoying their husbands’ deaths so much.” She was of course, talking about 9/11 widows.

Again, thanks Ann. Bitchcunt.

I don’t doubt that someday the contents of Ms. Coulter’s closet will be revealed and we will then be treated to all manner of nefarious fuckery. There will likely be proof that she is indeed genetically male and the progeny of chimpanzees.

Either that or her secrets will remain with her to the grave and she will die prematurely from the sheer strain of holding those evil waters inside.

Really what it’s about is ignoring her. It’s simple. Ignore her. She’s chumping both sides. Schtick. We hate her, they love her. We are wrong and so are they.

Change the channel.

Drinks for my friends.

Is intelligence learned or inherent?

Are people born good or evil?

Why do we toast bread? I mean it’s already cooked.

Are you aware that there are people who actually eat
pickled pig’s feet?

I gotta tell ya, I hate those damn ear piece cell
phones. Yo. Uhura, you opening a frequency for me to
talk to a giant hemispherical pizza? Forgive me, but
you all look egregiously stupid.

What’s the deal here with the whole Anna Nicole dog
and pony show? I always felt a little sorry for her.
On the other hand, she got a lot of mileage out of
a pretty empty tank.

The cavalcade of dipshits that have surfaced in her
wake is um, well, it’s really annoying. I resent the
attention Americans are willing to pay. Factor in the
profoundly ridiculous antics of the judge and you’ve
got the equivalent of a flaming pile up on the 405 for
a nation of rubberneckers.

I swear I’m not watching. At least, not on purpose.

Then there’s Ms. Spears. Is there not a single
individual in this woman’s life that can at least try
to mitigate her public implosion?

Are these two conflagrations being orchestrated by the
neocons just to take attention off of their endless
bloodthirsty fuckery? Cheney had Anna killed and her
baby was fathered by Karl Rove. There was no
intercourse however, it was the most antiseptic in
vitro process available. As a matter of fact, Rove
recieved a vigorous prostate massage from a rather
muscular former female shot putter to produce the
necessary seed. As a consolation prize, they let
Rumsfeld shave the young trollop’s head.

In all seriousness, what is your favorite fruit juice?

Timmy, after attending a performance by Flogging Molly
last night, appeared positively crooked this morning.
He was fine after Big Mike showed up with a twelve
pack. You know, he always picks his nose in my car
when I give him a ride home.

Ok, sorry for the self indulgence.

Now, who wants pie?

Smoke ’em if you got ’em.

When was the last time you went through a turnstile?

I have to tell you, I’ve been watching CNN solely
because of a story they’re doing on an autiistic woman
who happens to be able to communicate via keyboard and
voice synthesizer very well. It is fascinating as
well as enchanting. One of the most interesting
things I’ve ever seen on television. Autistic
perception is so much different than ours. This woman
cannot utter a single word, yet she types faster than
some can talk and what she has to say is profound and
disorienting. Not at all what most of us regard as
linear thought. Perhaps autism is the antithesis of
retardation despite how closely it may resemble it to
the uninitiated. It occurs to me that these people
may just be hyper intuitive beyond our our
neuro-typical (her word) ability to understand.
Awesome!

It raises questions about things like insanity and
what we could learn if dolphins had digits and were
able to type.

Pubic lice. Discuss.

The guitar solo in “My Sharona”, when radio plays the
whole thing, rips my fuckin head off every time.

I’ve really got to apoligize for all this. I felt
like writing but had nothing to say. A good friend
told me that my last blog was “beneath me”. All I
know is, it amused me while I wrote it.

How many got this far? Raise your hands.

All the presidents men were in my hometown yesterday.
Same place as my first ever audio gig out of school.
Interesting that Obama wasn’t there. He was
unavailable before he and the female Clinton began to
exchange blows.

My sister tells me Hills was impressive.

That is all.

Drinks for my friends.

You know, even if you’re deliberately lazy, like me,
life continues to rush ever faster. With more weight
and steam, down slick rails towards inevitable
conclusions.

At the very same time it pauses without stopping.
Everything races along like a jet on a sled and then there’s a simultaneous
cessation of all activity so as to allow “The Piledrive”.

The Piledrive serves to provide at least one, if not several issues
to drive you mad for the day or perhaps, insane for life.

And it all manifests while your pursuing the land speed record.

When people get on your nerves, they’re vying for a
place in line at the controls of The Piledriver.

You know what I mean.

The people I picture, well, I wouldn’t mind seeing hip
failure in most of them.

Some of them, I kinda like, but were they handicapped, I doubt I’d be sad.

Sometimes mere objects make the list.

I have two rings on my keychain and nothing else but
keys. None of that random pointless detritus that
occupies most people’s key collection. One is house
keys and one is work/other. I can’t fucking stand it
when a key from one gets caught through the ring of
the other. How does that happen if I have to take the
fucking thing apart to fix it? It literally defies
the laws of gravity.

Another example, probably just as wierd: If you’re a
guy, no matter what, every once in awhile after you
take a squirt, you end up with a little moisture.
This is always well after you’ve shaken it like a
polaroid and closed up shop.

You may even experience a little trouser spotting.
When this happens to me, I really dig into my work to
give it time to dry.

When I piss my pants, I tie my sweatshirt around my
waste and announce I’ve got lunch with a client. Then
I drop a few mints into my crotch and have a nice solo
afternoon meal. A well worn urinal cake works in a
pinch.

If I’m out of town, I may have talc in my briefcase.

I really hate it when I blow bad air in my office and
someone comes in with a question. The whole time I’m
wondering if they can smell it. And then I’m
convinced they’re wondering if I know they can smell it.

When I shit my pants I tie my sweatshirt around my
waste…….baha! Announce I’ve got lunch with a
cleint, go home, shower and change my pants.

When I kill someone, I wear a jumpsuit, I prefer
orange, and wash up real thorough afterwards.
Then I dispose of all crime related attire.

When I drive a race car, all bets are off.

When I write, I literally need to set fire to my
brain. I’m not sure how it works, but I must manage
to light the fuse. Otherwise, nothing. The duck
quacks and there is no echo.

Sometimes, the old hot
poker shoved up the olfactory organ becomes necessary.

When I pet The Gurry, I’m looking to make her purr,
satiate my need for softness and innocence, and mask
the noise of The Piledriver.

Gin is an efficacious instrument for this
malaise as well.

A strange brand of lucidity reared it’s pretty head
upon combining the two powerful principals, booze and
prose. Ever greater doses of both tend to remand the
very idea of The Piledriver to recess in unlit
alcoves that can barely break for air when the
early morning mind movies that are dreams come.

Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. That is to say, bullshit of the purest variety rises to the spigot like drunken vomit and Del Taco with all the force of a firehose and the next thing I know I’ve painted my entire immediate diorama with a fetor of extravagance, fabrication and hyperbole.

Ha! Guess what?

Sometimes it smells pretty good.

If you like my blogs, now you know. If you don’t and you’re reading this, well, you do.

And now, as we stand swaying, drunk with hubris, ignorance and power that we longer possess, swaying on the precipice of world war three, a complete disaster and perhaps what these necons seem so anxious for, the apocolypse, we learn that Condi Rice may have forgotten to tell us about something that would make the whole catastrophe moot.

My apologies for the length of that sentence. Try to stay with me.

details here and here

Apparently, there was a serious overture on the part of both the religious and political leadership at the time (2003) in Iran to not only support America’s military efforts in the region, but to also recognize Israel as a legitimate state and to engage in cogent efforts to extinguish terrorism including relinquishing ties to Hezbollah and Hamas.

We haven’t had diplomatic relations with this country since 1979 and Dr. Condoleezza Rice doesn’t remember anything about such a magnanimous and historically significant proposal. Despite the fact that Colin Powell told the the aide to Rice (Flynt Leverett) that there would be no sale at the White House.

She doesn’t remember. What’s new? Libby can’t remember shit and Dick-in-Bush act like they’re in that Ground Hog Day movie with Bill Murray.

Forgive me. Are you fucking kidding me? We walked away from that?

Dick-in-Bush and Condi too, kicked this golden goose to death and then pretended like it had never arrived on a Pennsylvania Avenue doorstep in a pretty gift wrapped basket.

Hey America! This is your foreign policy at work. Stare down the throat of the gift horse and then beat it over the head with a sledge until it draws it’s last breath in pain and confusion.

Could it be that they welcome with glee the notion of these poor bastards emerging from their holes festooned with open sores and lesions from radiation poisoning as a result of either our or Israel’s nuclear tipped bunker busters? Not unlike the undead? Like fucking zombies who are well aware of their expiration date? There are a ton of them that think very little of walking into a crowded marketplace and detonating themselves and burning and exploding everyone around them.

Am I scaring you yet? It’s right around the goddamn corner.

I intend to stay on this subject for awhile. It is literally the most important subject in the world today.

Two carrier groups and a third on the way soon. We’re standing at the fence in the front yard. They really have no choice but to wait for us to come over the fence and start shooting. And then, they will. And then. We will.

This is all a really stupid game for a prize that is in everyone’s best interest to render obsolete.

Watch for the fireworks kids. Nightly over Teheran. Sometime this spring.

Drinks for my friends………..

Submitted for your approval, the drama unfolding on an ever bleaker world stage, on this day the thirteenth of February in the year of 2007.

As a second carrier group steams toward the gulf this week, Newsweek reports that a third is likely to follow soon. Do we have any idea the havoc that can be wrought by three aircraft carrier groups and nearly sixty warships total? How many nukes are on those ships and on the submarines that are surely lurking underneath?

From the Associated Press today and lifted directly from my friend Doug’s blog:

Pace contradicts claims by other U.S. military, administration officials
The Associated Press
Updated: 3:32 p.m. ET Feb 13, 2007
JAKARTA, Indonesia – A top U.S. general said Tuesday there was no evidence the Iranian government was supplying Iraqi insurgents with highly lethal roadside bombs, apparently contradicting claims by other U.S. military and administration officials.

Gen. Peter Pace, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, said U.S. forces hunting down militant networks that produced roadside bombs had arrested Iranians and that some of the material used in the devices were made in Iran.

“That does not translate that the Iranian government per se, for sure, is directly involved in doing this,” Pace told reporters in the Indonesian capital, Jakarta. “What it does say is that things made in Iran are being used in Iraq to kill coalition soldiers.”

His remarks might raise questions on the credibility of the claims of high-level Iranian involvement, especially following the faulty U.S. intelligence that was used to justify the invasion of Iraq in 2003.

Three senior military officials in Baghdad said Sunday that the highest levels of Iranian government were responsible for arming Shiite militants in Iraq with the bombs, blamed for the deaths of more than 170 U.S. troops

Asked Monday directly if the White House was confident that the weaponry is coming on the approval of the Iranian government, spokesman Tony Snow said, “Yes.”

Iran on Monday denied any involvement.

“Such accusations cannot be relied upon or be presented as evidence. The United States has a long history in fabricating evidence. Such charges are unacceptable,” Foreign Ministry spokesman Mohammad Ali Hosseini told reporters in Tehran.

Also, new Secretary of Defense Robert Gates said on Friday that he’s “not frankly specifically certain myself of the details”.

And today our new commander in the region Admiral William J. Fallon said “I have no idea who may be with hands on, on this stuff”.

David Gergen on CNN, no friend of us peaceniks, just called the whole thing “wierd and botched”.

The emperor is buck naked, sporting gooseflesh and he appears to be jaundiced. Even though his eyes leak tears from the Washington winter cold, he stands before us completely unaware that our gaze is drawn to his shriveled purple phallus. He knows not of his own leaflessness.

But his his sack is huge and distended by the swollen fruit within.

There’s a fine line between clever and stupid. Rest assured that the balls of The Decider In Chief are massive by reason of stupidity. Also know that these are not those of brass the we’ve come to so admire on some leaders. The testes adorning this village idiot are no more durable than overripe grapes. He knows nothing of this either.

Snot leaks from nostrils and spittle flies from his mouth agape as his bird like head head pivots to catch sight of a horrified citizen pointing and gawking at his shrunken manhood and a grossly oversized pair of man produce.

Iran has a thriving modern infrastructure and it’s military is certainly no paper tiger like that of Iraq. It is a civilized country nearly three times the size of Iraq with a population of nearly seventy million that has grown and prospered unfettered by sanctions from the west.

Those who would charge that various weapons are sourced from Iran and that the highest levels of it’s government are complicit, have no evidence to support such claims and their names are being kept secret on their own insistence. That makes me all warm and fuzzy.

Iraq is a miasma of dominoes that we continue to kick over with no idea of when or where they will stop tipping into others. Iran is a massive forest of the metaphorical slabs that our arsonists laureate, Dick-in-Bush, are gearing up to topple en masse in all directions. Once they get started, I won’t be suprised to see the Iranian army spilling across the the Iraqi border.

Wthout question, chaos will then have siezed the reigns in the Middle East and there’s no predicting where it will end. I can virtually guaruntee that the 3,100 plus dead Americans and some where around three quarters of a million dead Iraqis will suddenly become Sesame Street numbers in the scheme of things. The violence, carnage, destruction and horror we’ve witnessed so far will rapidly become Fisher Price.

Already we use ammunition containing lethal amounts of depleted uranium in Iraq without any regard. Finally, mainstream media has begun to notice. White phosphorus, torture, kidnapping and rendering, war profiteering…………I mean pallets of cash. Pallets of four hundred thousand dollar bricks or “footballs”. Of fucking cash!

And they continue to hammer away with a heavy sledge, at our liberties, our rights.

And now they want another war.

Think about that.

On top of one that will surely bankrupt us.

On top of the one with no end in sight.

On top of the one that has left us completely bereft of credibility in the world.

Our arsonists laureate, Dick-in-Bush. seek to gash open another wound, with the old one still bleeding profusely, not knowing or caring if it causes all of us to bleed out.

My hero, Hunter S. Thompson once said that when the going gets wierd, the wierd turn pro. I’m starting to wonder if he meant that we will not have a choice.

Take a look at who our arsonists laureate want to burn next

‘Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.
‘Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!’
He took his vorpal sword in hand:
Long time the manxome foe he sought–
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
And stood awhile in thought.
And as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!
One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.
‘And hast thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!’
He chortled in his joy.
‘Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

Drinks for my friends.

I’ve been reading this guy for awhile now. He finally really pissed me off. Comment on his blog? I mean, I’d really like that.

Here he is in all his glory

Friday, February 09, 2007 – 7:24 PM
“You African-American Looking Person!!!”
So he’s not so articulate after all. (chuckles) The junior, moslem-born, half-white, half-black, part-time Christian, full-time idiot Senator from Illinois had this to say to the drooling children at ’60 Minutes’ this week:

“Acknowledging that his presidential campaign has opened a racial debate, Sen. Barack Obama, who has a white mother and an African father, says if you look African-American, you are treated like one. Obama and his wife, Michelle, who also addresses the race issue, appear in an interview with Steve Kroft to be broadcast on 60 MINUTES, Sunday Feb. 11 (7:00-8:00 PM, ET/PT) on the CBS television Network. If, as expected, Obama declares his formal candidacy for the Democratic presidential nomination tomorrow, it will be his first interview to be broadcast after that event.

When asked by Kroft if growing up in a white household had caused him to make a decision to be black, Obama replies, “I’m not sure I decided it. I think… if you look African American in this society, you’re treated as an African-American.”

Okay……

A few quick observations. First of all, Steve Kroft? You’re a fucking idiot. Who “chooses” to be black? LMFAO!!! You goddamn liberal geeks just never stop, do you? You “choose” to be black? What a tool. I think even Katie Couric could have done a better job.

“So tell me, Barak, …(ha ha ha) I can call you Barak, can’t I? I call all my friends that. Ha, ha, ha. So tell us, Mr. Osama…..did your dog choose to be black….or white?”

Good Lord,….we live in Hell.

Then, Mr. Osama bin Hezbollah Barak bin Obama responded with the only answer available that was even dumber than Kroft’s stupid question.

“I’m not sure I decided it. I think… if you look African American in this society, you’re treated as an African-American.”

Gee. You mean like how Condoleeza Rice is “treated black”? Or Colin Powell? Is he “treated black”? How about Michael Jordan or Tony Dungy or Tiger Woods? Think people “treat them black”? How about James Earl Jones, Forrest Whitaker, Samuel L. Jackson? Think they get “treated black?”

You know what I think, Mr. Barak bin Hezbollah bin Osama? I think you’re dumber than you are black. Because you’re only half-black, but obviously FULL-BLOODED STUPID. That’s what I think. You’re divisive, inciteful, and racist. But that’s NOT the reason you’re dumber than pig shit.

See, you are a dumbass-jackass. It’s why you’re a Dummycrap. I’ll explain it all to you since you’re apparently too stupid to grasp it for yourself. The only freaks who care about what color you are is Democrats…everyone’s favorite old slavery supporters. Republicans don’t GIVE A SHIT what color you are. We care about YOUR POLITICS, …moron. Republicans LOVE Condoleeza Rice! I’d vote for her in a heartbeat if she ran for President. MILLIONS OF WHITE Republicans would. AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Forget about that one, Barak? If I have another daughter, I’m NAMING HER “Condoleeza”!!! LOLOLOL!!! What do you think about that….you jackass.

The joke is on YOU, …you friggin’ geek!!! (what an idiot….hehehehe….I just can’t resist….someone stop me. I’m having more fun than is legally allowed) Let me educate you a little bit here, Mr. Dumbass. All we the people care about is that you’re a far-left wing fruitcake that represents the socialist movement in America and wants to bring back baby-brain-drilling up till the moment of birth….and that you’re a moslem and lying about that and many other things to us.

But black? LMFAO!!! You wish we cared.

And what is this bullshit line, “get treated like one”? What the hell is that? How do “blacks get treated in America”, Mr. Genius? Care to answer that one? Still sitting at the back of the bus, you racist son-of-a-bitch. Grrrr. I’d like to kick the half-white part of your ass, Barak, since I’d seriously object if you called me a racist for kicking BOTH DUMB HALVES. Hmmm…..for the sake of honesty and integrity, I’m just going to call you a fucking liar and a racist in print. How’s that?

Isn’t it funny when a half-breed tries to play the race card that no one cares about? Obviously you’re too stupid to get elected, Mr. Osama-Obama.

Oh shit, …..nevermind. I just thought of Carter, Clinton, and Pelosi. Uh…I better close for now.

“Treated like a black”. LOLOLOL. Give me a break……you putz.

I think if it were me, I’d have just said, “Oh, I wake-up in the morning and flip a coin. Heads I’m white….tails I’m black.”

Good grief. Wow…..and I just realized that with all those insults I forgot to call him “black”. Oh wow. LMAO!!! …what an idiot.

P.S. Just a “Helpful Hint” for the junior senator who’s never done this before. Please stop with the dark skin make-up before the photo-ops. We’re a little bit more sophisticated than that.

************************************************************************

I once guessed that you were the Andrew Dice Clay of the right. Much like Ann Coulter, your shit is so hateful, vile and irresponsible that intelligent people are inclined to believe it’s an act.

On this blog in particular, I gotta hope I’m not being, at the least naive, and not anything like maybe……… blind shit house stupid.

You see, if I’m wrong about you, you’re an ignorant, racist.

You write this ridiculous jingoistic, straw man, ad hominem, biased bullshit and usually it’s at least kinda funny in an over the top kinda way.

You’re not a bad writer. You’ve complimented me before as well. I don’t think you’re stupid.

I think you’re worse. I think you’re willfully ignorant and scared to death.

You write like a man desperately afraid of a world that he just doesn’t understand. Thanks for pointing out that Obama rhymes with Osama. Mark rhymes with Clark. Dick rhymes with Rick. Sometimes they’re even short for the same name.

Tell me you’re not that big of an asshole.

All the celebrities you reference could tell you more than handful of stories about being treated “black” you fucking retard. I guarantee it.

It was at this point that I began to wonder about your point. Fuckhead.

Happy Obama Declaration Day 🙂

Obama says, “I’m not sure I decided it. I think… if you look African American in this society, you’re treated as an African-American.”. Based on that single statement lifted directly from your blog, you call/accuse him of being:

“You know what I think, Mr. Barak bin Hezbollah bin Osama? I think you’re dumber than you are black. Because you’re only half-black, but obviously FULL-BLOODED STUPID. That’s what I think. You’re divisive, inciteful, and racist. But that’s NOT the reason you’re dumber than pig shit.”

What he said sounded pretty damn obvious to me and the sense that it represented was, pretty fucking obvious as well. And that, my underpriveledged friend, is something niether you or I will ever have a handle on. At least not like anyone in America today with skin a color other than white.

If you’re a decent comedian, you should be able to deal with the handful of hecklers I’m hoping to point in your direction. Best of luck.

It may be somewhat useless this far down the road, but I need to take exception to one more thing. “Republicans don’t GIVE A SHIT what color you are.”

What?

“The only freaks who care about what color you are is Democrats…everyone’s favorite old slavery supporters.”

WHAT???

WITH ALL DUE RESPECT, FUCK YOU IN THE NECK.

In the middle 1960’s the republican party began to take control of the south by exploiting the racial divide that existed and burned hotter there than any other region of the country. They did so specifically by opposing civil rights legislation, integration and bussing. The modern day southern region of the united states now votes overwhelmingly republican and is still the most overtly racist region of the country.

Seriously. Are you that big of an asshole?

You seem to think that by using Mr. Obama’s name in a sentence with words like “Hezbollah”, you’re making some huge point about evil Islam. Twenty percent of the worlds population is muslim. The majority are peaceful. That fact makes you a fucking idiot.

I’m going to post this as a blog. I’m telling you this to be fair.

Now show me some sack and allow this to go through as a comment on your blog.

I’m sick of your shit.

Drinks for my Friends.

“There’s an old saying in Tennessee — I know it’s in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can’t get fooled again.”

I just can’t stand it.

Here we go again.

I’m gonna ramble a little. Pontificate if you will. Well, rant.

The Bush doctrine of preemptive war has reared it’s ugly head again.

Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has never threatened another country with nuclear weapons. He has in fact, never so much as expressed a desire for them. His simply stated goal has been to develop nuclear energy for his people.

If you wonder why an oil rich state in an oil rich region would want to develop alternative energy sources, it is because they are not stupid. The less oil they use, the more they can sell.

By the way, he never said that Israel should be wiped off the the face of the earth. Watch this. Then read this.

Our own CIA says that IF Iran is pursuing a nuclear weapons program, they have no evidence, that they are least five, if not ten years away from producing a single nuclear device. Of course, they could be wrong, as a key figure for determining proliferation of this kind in the region, one Vallery Plame, was exposed in a meretricious smear perpetrated by the very administration seeking aggression of this preemptive brand against said country.

I stand slack jawed. Agape and unconsciously leaking copious amounts of drool on my frilly liberal blouse at their audacity, their ostentatious vigor in pursuit of the most astounding duplicity ever witnessed by a civilized people.

As a platform, Dumbya used the state of the union address, to advance his diabolical agenda. And now that disingenuous, corporatist bitch Hillary Clinton, is standing along side rattling sabers and gnashing teeth with the usual asshats McCain and Lieberman.

“Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me” – chief engineer Scott from The Starship Enterprise. Wake the fuck up people. Iran represents no more of a threat to you or me or anyone else in the world than Iraq did. And look where that got us.

And now our arsonists laureate, Dick-in-Bush, seek with marvelous composure, to send more child warriors. To throw good money after bad. They endeavor to convince us that grinding salt and ground glass into this gaping wound we have opened will make a difference. Indeed, they endorse escalating the scale of death and destruction. More American kids will die and many more innocent Iraqis will die in a shitstorm of our ruler’s own device.

As I write this, a second aircraft carrier task force speeds towards the gulf. Our military has begun to train sailors to fight on the ground. The army is advertising $40,000 signing bonuses. We are preparing to bomb the shit out of more brown people.

And they tell us twenty thousand, when what they are clearly saying is as many as forty eight thousand. Combat troops require support troops. And those support troops are just as likely to die, lose a limb or come home brain damaged as those doing the fighting.

Against all advice. Against the will of the people. Against all good and common sense.

And in the news today, our legislative branch has taken it upon iteslf to smite any debate over the language for a non binding resolution to express polite dissatisfaction for all of this.

I can’t stand it.

“Woe to you, Oh Earth and Sea,
for the Devil sends the beast with wrath,
because he knows the time is short…

Drinks for my friends.

Sometimes males behave in a fashion towards the opposite sex that causes me to cringe. We tend to be rude, to objectify and conduct ourselves as compassionless, insensitive and sometimes sociopathic fucktards. I’m regularly embarrassed.

It’s really a wrongheaded, testosterone fueled shame.

And I admit, I’ve been guilty of it.

Women, on the other hand, can be guilty of many of the same things. Often they choose to generalize and view us all as Cro-Magnon beasts, barely tolerable save for our ability to make fire and bring home meat.

Most of the time, it’s not fair.

There are times however, that I don’t blame them.

Now, white men. It’s not the first time I’ve had a reason to pause and feel that sting of shame over something another caucasian has said or done. The last few days however, have been a little beyond discomfiting.

We’re all well aware of the horrors committed by us, white men, throughout history. Vast genocides of indigenous peoples. Bullshit religious crusades. Supression, discrimination, enslavement and exploitation. We suck.

I’m sorry and I’m doing the best I can.

Then, just yesterday, it came to light that in a recent interview, a man I have admired until now, stuck both feet in his mouth in such a way as to make me wince hard. He didn’t stop there. After he’d ignorantly masticated his own feet, he beat himself about the head and neck with what was left of his bleeding stumps.

I’m talking about Joe Biden.

The first time I noticed him, his teeth clenched and he was ready to come over the table at John Ashcroft during one of the very first forays into torture conducted by congress during this war.

Yesterday I heard him say, “I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy … I mean, that’s a storybook, man.”

Articulate, bright and clean?

Oh, man.

Then other things came to the fore. He’s a plagiarist. His remarks about immigrant employees of convenience stores are just despicable. “you cannot go to a 7-Eleven or a Dunkin’ Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent.”

What?

You know, I don’t give a mad fuck what he meant or was trying to say. If he is dumb enough, out of touch enough and ignorant enough to say such things, and he clearly is, then this man has no business representing a single voter in America.

It occurs to me that Joe Biden is a racist.

That sucks. Although I never paid too much attention, I liked what I saw. But I didn’t see this.

Not nearly enough good for the bad, methinks.

Bullshit on that. Drinks for my friends.