Archive for the ‘Christians’ Category

The polls are suspect, but way too close.

I’m so tired of worrying.

Should we brace ourselves for a complete clusterfuck?

The economy can barely walk, lung disease and a nasty infection. Coughing up yellow shit.

The polls are close.

Maybe. I honestly don’t know.

Let’s entertain the notion. Just for fun.

January 21, 2009. McCain and Palin stand behind bulletproof glass beaming. Imagine the splendor. The granduer of a four time face cancer survivor and a woman who in the words of Fred Thompson, “can field dress a moose”. Awesome, the dignity of the ancient dottard and his cheerleader sidekick in full flower.

Behind inch thick plexi, mouths steam as they are sworn. January in DC. No blossoms on the mall for at least four months.

Oh, the pageantry. Oh, the humanity.

Then what?

I’m picturing a return to hoop skirts and a resurgence of marbles among adolescent boys. Pinball will enjoy a fresh popularity. Roller skating with clay wheels and car side service by chicks in pantyhose. Mmmmmm, frosted mugs of bubbly rootbeer. Yo Yos. Hula Hoops. Casseroles and many more things made of yarn than seen today.

It’s gonna be great. Lotsa plastic whistles and balloons and fresh baked pies.

I’m a little sad it won’t be as cool as the future I anticipated.

I wish I could have both. Technology. Broadband internet and Hi def TV. I’m seriously in a holding pattern for virtual sex. I’m really curious about this new collider in Geneva. I like my Mac a lot. I really like the internet.

The innocence of dial telephones, the birth of the muscle car and not a single digital read out anywhere.

Radium watches. Unchecked toxic waste. Korea and Vietnam. The cold war.

Kinda like the fifties. You know, when Christianity held absolute sway in the heartland. When blacks weren’t elitist, much less uppity. They knew their place. Women too. We let them vote but they were aware that uppity was not an option. Not for white women anyway. We kept our shit real in the day. Head of household was just that.

Commander in fucking cheif.

Though this utopian lifestyle will take effect on the same day as the inauguration, there will be wrinkles.

It will be an adjustment, but nowhere near traumatic. Life is good. Take it easy. America has opted for real change. McCain Palin are here to bring change. Long after Obama said it sincerely, these two pillars of virtue assimilated that message and are here to visit it upon all of us.

Wrinkles.

The hot gust of a sulphur and garlic fart. Moist heat and a cosmic resonance.

From loose nukes and poverty, to even white folks fearing the police, peanut butter becoming a staple as well as a commodity. Just like pork bellies. The middle class will become the working poor and there will once again be Robber barons and Captains of industry.

It’s kind of exciting. Maybe train robbery will become viable again. Count on the ubiquity of mid century style liquor store robberies. We’ll all need to rely on ourselves more. Sometimes, it will be at the expense of our neighbors. Sometimes, at their peril. Many of us will be forced into lawlessness. Don’t be alarmed at this change, it’s just how some Republicans let us know they too believe in natural selection. It’s a wink at evolution. Even the brightest assholes are cool with Darwin.

We should all brush up on our agricultural know how. It’s gonna be big in the post technocratic age. Trust me, study your climate and soil. When everything goes down, loot the bookstore for gardening books, nevermind the convenience store. Hit the hardware store for shovels, wheelbarrows etc.

Make sure your cool on sunglases and hats. Steal as much sunscreen as you can find.

The music from the ice cream truck keeps on keeping on behind all of it. So help me god.

Whatever kids. That’s how the West was won.

Drinks for my friends.

If he were white, this would be over.

All that talent, all that charisma and all that intelligence. If he were white, McCain would be bucking for a cabinet post at best. “JFK” would escape the lips of Americans without hesitation. If, he were a white Christian male, just as attractive with just as much presence, saying exactly the same things and landing precisely where he does on every single issue, next. If he were white. We’d be all but finished here.

Race in your face bitches. No shit.

This sucks. They are lying to you so hard, with such desperation. If you buy it, we are laughing at you. Like hyenas, we stare and point and you wonder if the monkey is you or them. If that happens, understand you might be a redneck. Or gullible enough to be flirting with retardation. By the way, the monkey is you and them.

See, they just floated an ad that alleges Our Man prioritizes sex education in the first grade over children learning to read. That’s regoddamndiculous. It’s a bill that promotes educating young children about sexual predators. How’s that for a dirty political fucking lie? Makes Willie Horton and Kerry’s war record look Fisher Price. I dare anyone to explain this one to me.

Shameless, with a simultaneous assload of vanity. I really hate these guys.

Our Man shows up on Letterman and he’s brilliant. Detail, like Bill. A firm grip on the world and forgive me but he’s a regular dude. Likable, smart and funny. Then I see him on CNN, bright and lucid. Comfortable plumbing the depths of policy. Specific, learned and at ease.

McCain was charming. Made me laugh and threw some meat out there. He did well. We liberals are supposed to stop saying positive things about neocons. I call ’em like I see ’em. He’s still a coward, masquerading as a maverick, pretending to be an independent thinker. The truth is, he long ago lost sight of why he’s here and is now only capable of picturing the brass ring. The prize. He’s empty. He likes shiny things.

I should focus on this for a minute. Doubtfire has a friendliness deficit and Palin has the charm of a middle aged junior varsity cheerleader. Talk to her at a kegger and get back to me.

I want to tell you something. I’m just gonna say it. I relate to this guy because I’m not dumb, He’s smart and I’m not dumb. He’s smarter than me and I like that. I think you should too. No matter how stupid you are, you should at least be able to tell that this guy is way brighter than you or McCain and that should be reason enough for you to vote for him.

Haven’t we just suffered for over seven years because of our President’s stupidity?

What’s her name did her very first interview tonight as a potential VP. Charlie Gibson ABC, asked her in a glasses on the nose Ben Franklin way, if she experienced any hesitation when McCain asked her to be his running mate. She didn’t blink. She said she told Doubtfire if he thought she could help the ticket and the party, then absolutely.

She said this, as opposed to asking, even of herself, if she could function as President of the United States. It appears as though it never entered her cheerleader brain.

And for what it’s worth, she had no idea what the Bush Doctrine is.

Her calves were hot though.

Drinks for my friends.

This is ridiculous.

He’s lost his mind.

The first half of the day, I was genuinely confused.

Sarah Palin?

Let’s begin with the abundantly obvious. She has been the Governor of a remote, sparsley populated state for less than two years. Proir to that she was *gasp*, on the city council, then Mayor of Wasilla, Alaska, a population of somewhere over five thousand. I assume they have traffic lights and indoor conveniences. Possibly an unsactioned militia or two.

Creationism is taught in the schools of her state and she’s on board with it. She’s anti-abortion and pro-gun. She’s practically Ted goddamn Nugent when it comes to hunting. Former aspiring beauty queen still squeezing out puppies at forty four years of age.

And they say she’s smart. A real go getter. Sheezus! Let’s consider her for Postmaster General.

The jacked up long shot political calculus is that they somehow think this woman can bring evangelicals, social conservatives, and as many ignorant women as they can fool.

Yeah, good luck with that. Keep swinging for the fences. Try using a bat.

What we have here, is as shallow and transparent an example of political brinksmanship I have ever witnessed in a Presidential contest.

Doubtfire has met her twice. Or maybe only once. We don’t know. He is seventy two. He’s had cancer four times. Both his father and grandfather died of heart failure at an age younger than he. He is saying that this woman is the best qualified person in America to be Commander in Chief should he lose the fifty fifty wager that he’ll take the dirt nap at any moment after his inauguration.

Are you comfortable with that? This is the only question I want Republicans to answer. Don’t tell me there are other factors or that it’s not the point because it’s the top of the ticket that matters.

Answer. Yes or No?

Forgive me kids, it’s just a little more suspension of disbelief than I can manage.

It’s reckless, irresponsible, stupid and selfish. The hypocrisy and hubris is profound enough to inspire my jaw to slacken so completely as to allow drool to spill freely from my face. Bear with me while I change my dampened blouse and fashion a bib.

James Carville could barely keep a straight face or suppress his own urge to laugh tonight on CNN.

It amounts to this. Game over.

I’m relieved that it’s not going to matter at all.

I’m pretty sure this latest boot heel on dick move by McCain will prove to be his demise. He’s done. Look for the fork wagging from his back. There will be a sign on it that says kick me, I just shit myself.

John McCain needs a riding lawn mower and some grass to cut.

Drinks for my friends.

I was troubled after the CNN presentation of interviews with both candidates by the leader of the Saddleback Church, Rick Warren.

Question number one is who is this friendly bastard and why is he here? National Television. An influential religious figure gets this kind of airtime on a cable news network?

All I care to know is he heads a megachurch. The fourth largest in the country. The biggest in the biggest state of California.

So you know, fuck him. Ha! That much power in the venue of God and fear and the fear of God, discredits the man entirely in my book.

Ever seen “There Will Be Blood”?

He seemed nice enough. Some of the questions were compelling.

John “conception” McCain did very well. The bar was low but he succeeded in raising it. You know, they said the same about Dumbya. So yeah, Doubtfire did quite well and that pains me of course. He was direct and resolute. Simple. I imagine he’d just had his cocktail of vitamins and stimulants via the nightly needle.

Our Man was far more conversational and relaxed. Yes, he was nuanced. Profoundly. When he spoke of the humility we must maintain when confronting evil because too much harm has been done in the name of good for example. Eloquent and salient. This guy is good.

The thing is this, that honest and thoughtful shit doesn’t always play in Peoria or Clearwater. That’s a shame.

I’m angry. I’m over having to make room for the stupid, lazy and underinformed. It doesn’t take a genius to see we’re fucked and the group that’s fucking us are all dressed the same with similar haircuts. The codgers all sport the “Doubtfire”. The Dorothy Hamill for the pasty set. Often they look like their pink heads are about to combust under their pale gossamer combovers.

Except the insurgents, they look like us. They talk liberal but vote neocon.

What that is, is talking complex to obfuscate ignorance. Willfull ignorance.

I have empathy for the authentically stupid.

I have disdain for the willfully ignorant. They disgust me. Intellectually dishonest, most likely greedy and dispassionate.

Sometimes it all seems so hopeless.

I talked to two good old friends today. Older and younger by about the same amount. Both very good men. I have a much stronger bond with one of them but it doesn’t matter here. The older was far more pessimistic than my younger friend. I was curious to find myself in the middle. It struck me that chronologically, my veiws were predictable. Typical.

Then I considered the company I was in. That thought became a bit of a revelation. I flirted with epiphany.

It never quite came.

The older said truthfully that we can and always will do worse.

The younger said honestly that he believes we will do better and there is a way.

I have Deja Vu.

Drinks for my friends.

I can’t stand it. It just goes on and on.

Blatant.

Notwithstanding reason.

Geniuses and Jack O’ Lanterns.

The issue is this.

Abortion.

The right tries so hard to call it murder. Ahem.

It is far more nuanced and organic than that. They only do black and white.

Mother Earth will ultimately decide the the fate of humankind. She will be fine. She will prosper. The Earth does not need us. All the Earth needs is the goddamn Sun. Last I heard, the sun is gonna be around awhile.

Earth may decide that humans are no longer compatible with her goals. Her ideals. No longer congruent with her plan for survival. In a time not far from now, The Earth might shrug us humans off. She might just heat up and burn us out.

If she does this, She’ll have decided we do more harm than good.

If she does this, She’ll have decided to save her life and that of all her other inhabitants.

Who can blame her?

Maybe we’ve been tolerated thus far because we advanced so rapidly. We emerged as a species so very capable. So bright and creative. We made art and beauty while either reaching out with compassion and concern to everyone, or raping, bombing and killing every civilization in sight.

We stormed her peaks, plunged her depths and polluted her lungs. She’s seen us kill on a scale that is both awesome and terrifying. In a mere few thousand years, we developed the ability to destroy just about every life she births and nurtures.

She is impressed. Not in a good way.

Earth doesn’t need your language. You need hers. It’s not as simple as humans not understanding. It’s as ugly as humans refusing to understand. Willfull ignorance.

Mother Earth may choose to abort us. It is certainly her right and obviously within her power.

The Earth is a Mother and it is her prerogative.

Men have no business passing laws governing a woman’s reproductive rights.

Any of you at this point desiring to invoke God should just shut the fuck up. My God is The Earth. In precisely the same way you do not wish to hear about my God, I’m not interested in hearing about yours. Fuck off. I think your’s is stupider by far, than mine.

It is my right to enter into a decision with a woman about our pregnancy as opposed to allowing a religion manufactured from convenience dictate our direction without regard to our lives.

The comedy is this. You that have so much faith, so much conviction that we are acting counter to the wishes of your God, why are you so unwilling to let your God decide?

Why are you so zealous as to kill doctors to prevent us from committing this “sin”? After all, your God will sort us out, wont he? If you believe so absolutely, what are you so worried about?

Is your faith so weak as to force a question about your God’s ability to keep us heathens in check? A question profound enough to force your hand to take it upon yourself? You will say that we imprison others in society who commit murder. We even murder them. I say your definition of murder is flawed and you’re not equipped to judge.

You do your cause no favors by vehemently opposing such basic science as evolution and stem cell research. You force the hands of us with a modicum of common sense to look at you as retarded. Overly enthusiastic, euphorically fanatical, idiots.

Isn’t it your God that would deny us access to Heaven for using condoms?

Some people are stupid enough to believe contraception is a “sin”. This in a time when the world has way too many humans. Some people are just fucking stupid.

Abortions will occur. With or without your consent. The rich will have them no matter what laws you’re able to pass. The poor will suffer. Ill equipped to even bring a baby to term. Unable to afford any prenatal care. From a practical perspective, I’m just looking to keep the coat hangers out of it.

Drinks for my friends.

A friend of mine recieved some insipid spam from a relative. She agreed to let me write this but I have not been allowed to send it yet. I’m not holding my breath. Anything in quotes is verbatim from the letter/spam.

I begin.

The Bible, it does speak about untimely death, doesn’t it? I keep forgetting about that untimely death thing.

“Be not deceived; God is not mocked:
for whatsoever a man sow,
that shall he also reap.”

The idea that we reap exactly what we sow. I just can’t seem to pile on. I do believe in doing the right thing. I can’t be sure it makes a difference, but at the end of the day, might as well. Even us agnostics try to do the right thing. We like to do it correct whether we reap or not.

You make another point about people who “mocked God”. Your very first example is John Lennon. In parenthesis “singer”.

Just a singer huh?

Lennon said:

“Christianity will end, it will disappear. I do not have to argue about that. I am certain.
Jesus was ok, but his subjects were too simple, today we are more famous than Him’ (1966).”

“Lennon, after saying that the Beatles were more famous than Jesus Christ, was shot six times, even though he was probably right.”

It’s interesting. See, if Lennon was right, he was right about the failures of organized religions to inspire and motivate beyond his own humble four piece band’s ability to do so.

Duh.

“Marilyn Monroe (Actress)
She was visited by Billy Graham during a presentation of a show.
He said the Spirit of God had sent him to preach to her.
After hearing what the Preacher had to say, she said:
‘I don’t need your Jesus’.
A week later, she was found dead in her apartment”

“Bon Scott (Singer)
The ex-vocalist of the AC/DC. On one of his 1979 songs he sang:
‘Don’t stop me; I’m going down all the way, down the highway to hell’.
On the 19th of February 1980, Bon Scott was found dead, he had been choked by his own vomit.”

Yes, it’s quite clear that god killed them for their mockery and overall disrespect. They were pagans. Barbarians.

I have to say that if this is all you can find in the entirety of Christian history of peope who have “mocked God”, you my unknown friend, are reaching for shit I can’t even be bothered to make fun of.

Then I see it’s some sort of chain letter and I want to send vicious people after you.

I don’t know you but it makes me wonder who you think you are to spread this sort of incendiary, vitriolic bullshit. If you honestly believe John Lennon was some sort of threat to your imaginary friend in the sky and that he lost his life for it. You are one dangerous dipshit and a goddamn fool.

May Bon Scott dine on your viscera.

Drinks for my friends.

James Dobson, leading evangelical, founder of Focus on The Family and therefore self righteous dipshit, took it upon himself to open fire on our man Obama today for suggesting in a two year old speech that it is impractical to govern solely on the basis of scripture.

Um, no shit. By the way, Our Man was speaking to a liberal Christian group named Call To Renewal.

“Which passages of scripture should guide our public policy?” Obama asked in the speech. “Should we go with Leviticus, which suggests slavery is OK and that eating shellfish is an abomination? Or we could go with Deuteronomy, which suggests stoning your child if he strays from the faith? Or should we just stick to the Sermon on the Mount?” -CNN.com

Dobson said, “I think he’s deliberately distorting the traditional understanding of the Bible to fit his own world view, his own confused theology,” Dobson said, adding that Obama is “dragging biblical understanding through the gutter.” -CNN.com

Well I for one would like to believe he was pointing out just how stupid and archaic so much of the Christian dogma actually is. Probably not though. I suspect he was merely saying it is impractical to base policy on an ancient text, regardless of the reverence it still enjoys.

For what it’s worth, I’m still plenty pissed at our man over the FISA thing.

I think any debate that entertains the inclusion of any amount faith into politics or government is witheringly wrongheaded and spurious. I am weary, wary and leery of it. Big suprise from an agnostic huh?

It is abundantly clear that the founding fathers had every intention of keeping church and state separate. News flash; your religion, faith or beliefs are your own. You chose them or were probably indoctrinated. I just don’t care and I’m completely unwilling to hear about it or them.

I don’t care and I don’t have to because I’ve long since made up my mind and this is America.

The idea that any religious bureaucracy wields even a modicum of influence on political discourse in this country inspires a gamut of emotion in me that ranges from disgust to rage. When I encounter it, my knee jerks as if to say fuck you in the neck.

Do people like like Dobson believe they have some kind of moral superiority and it is therefore incumbent on them, perhaps even their duty, to foist their wisdom on the rest of us? Yup, they do. That’s why I loathe them. So many insincere zealots. The quantity of their conviction almost always belies the depth of their hypocrisy. An inverse relationship that we are treated to over and over.

Larry Craig, Mark Foley, Cardinal Mahoney, Haggard, Swaggart, Baker, Roberts, Falwell, Tilton……………

Man is a Religious Animal. He is the only Religious Animal. He is the only animal that has the True Religion–several of them. He is the only animal that loves his neighbor as himself and cuts his throat if his theology isn’t straight. He has made a graveyard of the globe in trying his honest best to smooth his brother’s path to happiness and heaven….The higher animals have no religion. And we are told that they are going to be left out in the Hereafter. I wonder why? It seems questionable taste.
– “The Lowest Animal” -Mark Twain

Were it up to me, no religious spokesperson would be allowed to comment on public policy, legislation, campaigns or the merits of titty bars. Not even from the pulpit. Any who dared break the rule would see their own house of worship taxed to the fullest extent of our convoluted tax code.

A portion of the revenue would be used to reconstruct said place of worship so that it’s entire exterior would be of glass. This house of whatever God, would then be afforded the opportunity to reduce it’s tax burden by allowing it’s own worshippers to throw stones at itself.

Honestly, I don’t have a problem with Jesus. Basic Christian tenets are pretty sound. I like the one about do unto others and that one about judge not lest ye judged. Good stuff.

I can’t help but despise a good number of his fans. They should be allowed their primitive rituals and blind faith. Whatever gets you through the night is your business. Keep it that way and we’re cool. Fail to respect that and I’m free to fire flesh shredding salvos of logic at you until the lies, evil, ignorance and corruption are all that’s left.

Upon molesting the bull, one automatically qualifies for the horns.

“So much blood has been shed by the Church because of an omission from the Gospel: “Ye shall be indifferent as to what your neighbor’s religion is.” Not merely tolerant of it, but indifferent to it. Divinity is claimed for many religions; but no religion is great enough or divine enough to add that new law to its code.”
– Mark Twain, a Biography

Drinks for my friends.

Today was a dark day in the great state of California. The dreaded marriage of faggots, dykes and lezbos was allowed to commence. What have we done? The venerated institution of marriage has been soiled. Shat upon by liberals and sissy lovers. Next thing you know, they’ll be marrying their pets or monkeys (I’ll be polygamist).

Woe is us.

David Lee Roth once said of this state something like, they tipped the map and everyone with a screw loose rolled to the left coast. As an agnostic, I just need to say, thank God I live here.

The same institution that until early last century legally posited a woman was a man’s property upon betrothal. The same institution that forbade the matrimony of an African American to one of European extraction until even later. The same institution that fails utterly and completely, at least half the time, with the carnage of children in it’s wake. The same institution that was the catalyst for delivering redneck bigots to the polls for the last Presidential contest in drooling, knuckle dragging packs.

Tony Perkins, president of the Family Research Council, pause for the laugh track, “decried the decision as a typical case of judicial activism in which the court overrode the will of the people. Too bad, the Family Research Council actually fought to have the will of the majority overturned when “the people of Oregon passed a law authorizing voluntary assisted suicide for the terminally ill.” -The Daily Fuel

What a tool. It was allowed because the California Supreme Court declared it unconstitutional. Hey Tony, keep your Jesus off my penis.

Now it’s going to be on the ballot. Again.

We have seen numerous examples in our nation’s history where the “will of the people” isn’t necessarily congruent with justice, compassion or fairness. This issue, in my mind, is overwhelmingly elementary. Homosexuality is congenital. It therefore belongs exclusively to the context of civil rights. Period. Next?

I’m reasonably certain most who would deny this civil right to their fellow human, have never even known, tried or wanted to know a gay person. What would they find if they did? They would discover, other than sexual preference, they are just like the rest of us. Some good, some bad, but almost all having the capacity for love, unless it was beaten out of them by some racist homophobe who’s masculinity was threatened.

The news was juxtaposed with footage of a lesbian couple that had been together since Ike was President, gingerly slicing a wedding cake. How cool, and just what the fuck is wrong with that?

I understand the terrible engine behind this idiocy combusts on fear and ignorance. What I don’t understand is what there is to be so afraid of.

I’m grateful time seems able to slowly but deliberately render discrimination obsolete as it’s practitioners are driven into shame filled closets of their own. Prisoners of their own device.

Drinks for my friends.

That’s what we call it. I began utilizing the action (?) as an alternative to the more customary handshake while doing trade shows a handful of years ago.

I’m a little bit of a germaphobe and it seemed an appropriate way to avoid sweaty hands, urine and booger residue. This one guy, big account in the midwest, could throw thirty to fifty thousand our way on a single order. Cool guy. Chronic hyperhidrosis.

He pretty much inspired me to join the cult of the “TERRORIST FIST JAB”.

I’m also a fan of what I call “ass gaskets”. I’m loathe to use a public restroom but I’m a pretty regular guy, if you’re picking up what I’m laying down.

I apologize to all of America for engaging in such blatant and overt support of killing the innocent and subverting Christian dogma. Not only am I a fool, but a patsy as well. I’ve been duped.

I saw that speech where that married couple who might be muslim terrorists did the dreaded “TERRORIST FIST JAB”. I saw it live. I’m ashamed. At the time I thought it was cool. His kinda hot wife gave her man knuckles.

We Americans are so naive and I’m not exempt. What I processed as a simple, perhaps somewhat hip gesture, was really a well understood signal by a pair of evil doers to the evil doers of the world to do more evil.

This is old news to some of you but I just happened onto this raging controversy today. My friend and sometimes sugar momma mentioned it as we jaywalked to my apartment after she sprung for sushi and beer.

“During the June 6 edition of Fox News’ America’s Pulse, host E.D. Hill teased an upcoming discussion by saying, “A fist bump? A pound? A terrorist fist jab? The gesture everyone seems to interpret differently.” In the ensuing discussion with Janine Driver — whom Hill introduced as “a body language expert” — Hill referred to the “Michelle and Barack Obama fist bump or fist pound,” adding that “people call it all sorts of things.” Hill went on to ask Driver: “Let’s start with the Barack and Michelle Obama, because that’s what most people are writing about — the fist thump. Is that sort of a signal that young people get?” At no point during the discussion did Hill explain her earlier reference to “a terrorist fist jab.” -crooksandliars.com

Mirror mirror on the wall, who be the most simple minded jingoistic network of all?

This is the silliest shit I’ve ever seen. Color me fucking dumbfounded.

The lowest watermark in public discourse I’ve ever witnessed. That there isn’t widespread outrage over it is definitive proof that we are a nation of dumbasses. I heard on Stewart tonight that only one in seven Americans can find Iraq on a map.

We have managed to elevate a fine man all the way to the contest for President of this once great country. He is perhaps the finest to run for that office in almost half a century.

Fox news can suck a fart out of my ass.

Drinks for my friends.

The wave crests, then breaks, the national media plays a mind.

In the two thousand election, Doubtfire labeled Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell as “agents of intolerance”. I liked him then. I bought that “Maverick” crap.

Bush and Rove served him overdone on a platter. It was ugly and egregious. I pitied him. He walked into a buzzsaw spinning in hot feces. Despite his time as a POW, he’d never encountered anything remotely like the diabolical bacteria and machinations of Karl Rove. Or, the blind stupidity of Dumbya. Then he hugged him on national TV.

He may have still been a good man before that experience.

He’s not been since.

By two thousand six, McCain was delivering a commencement address at Falwell’s Liberty University.

Today, after chronic rumblings in the gut of our media and percolations that turned into a harbinger of copious liquid excretions, the rectum of our mainstream media had a spasm, barfed out John Hagee and thrust him into the political toilet. You know, under the lights.

He stinks. He’s ugly and he looks stupid.

This punk Hagee has been credited with among other things, likening Hitler to a purveyor of the will of his Christian God and declaring Katrina was punishment for the Gays planning a parade.

An asshole thrice the size of a vagina.

Doubtfire worked tirelessly for this neanderthal’s endorsement for over a year. Today, of course, he denounced him and rejected his endorsement.

Good stuff. You can’t write this shit.

Will this tempest have the legs of say, the Jeremiah Wright conflagration?

Nope.

Hagee merely lied about Jews and Gays. Neither one a sizable political bloc. He didn’t tell the truth about rich white men like Jeremiah Wright did. Doubtfire didn’t belong to the douchebag’s church. Pretty fucked up, but still the way it will play.

He did impugn Catholics, but that’s ok in my book, as probably a fair number of them understand the depth of their own hypocrisy. I know I do.

Let’s all take a minute and reflect on how just insane this all is. Let it sink in. John McCain is the best Republicans can do after a disaster of epic proportion named Dumbya. I still can’t believe anyone is taking this guy seriously.

It really is no wonder the rest of the world thinks America is a land of idiots and jackasses.

There are times when I just can’t stand it.

Drinks for my friends.

I can barely bring myself to talk about it. I was both entertained and informed by the local CBS 2 news at eleven. I regret that I can’t exactly remember why.

I’m not yet prepared to say people in their forties shouldn’t smoke pot.

Laura Diaz still inspires lust but the whole team seems more vacuous than ever. Insipid. Ridiculous. She’s too skinny for me anyway.

Pennsylvania goes on the block tomorrow. Could be heaviosity.

I’m a little excited.

Wait.

Can I be anticipatory?

Laura Diaz is banging Jimmy the sports guy. I can tell by the way she introduces his segment. Pretty cozy. She calls him Jimmy.

Jim Hill is almost bad enough to be as good as Fernell Chapman or the late Hal Fishman.

Guess the Lakers are doing well and Kobe is happy. Thank Sheezus and Jimmy.

I hear Dumbya was on Deal Or No Deal. I watched that show once, for forty eight seconds.

I hear the Pope was here.

Pennsylvania goes on the block tomorrow.

Could be the big one. Be all to end all.

Were our man Obama able to keep within say, five or six points, most pundits would see him as victorious. You already knew that.

The official Brainspank forecast is for our man to do at least that well.

People are tired. The ones that aren’t actually stupid are tired of being called that and are actually paying attention. For what’s it’s worth, he didn’t call them stupid. He called them pissed off with good reason, and he was right.

Nearly the entire mainstream media labeled deliberate nuance a watercolor rendered by fingers. Fools. Looks like the people got it.

He is smarter, more inspired and far less beholding than the other two.

I imagine there were swaths of our history where a combination of such virtues may not have matched so perfectly with what is so desperately needed as of yesterday.

No free lunch. He will inevitably disappoint us. No human could avoid that. But, he is our best bet. Young, full of piss, vinegar and what I hope is a sincere and realistic helping of idealism.

I’m completely willing to cast my vote for this man and his wife. I imagine that will be your choice come November Pennsylvania, work with me here.

It is REALLY important you don’t screw this up.

Make America proud, you backward ass country fucks.

Drinks for my friends.

So I wrote a pretty incendiary piece earlier this week on Pope Benedict’s visit. I’m not here to apologize, keep your panties from bunching. No mea culpa here bitches, I’m just gonna elaborate.

I suppose it’s only fair I acknowledge that Pontiff Benedict spent face time with a handfull of sex abuse victims by priests during his visit this week. So noted. It was the right thing to do.

My friends and I have a saying we got from Chris Rock. “Don’t try to take credit for shit you should be doing anyway”, or something like that. What we really say is “Well, you know what Chris Rock says.”

I’m amused by the talking heads debating if what he’s done is enough. Can you guess what I think? Bet you can. My answer is, not even fucking close. I’m not unhappy about what he’s done. If the man has the courage of his convictions however, he has much more to do.

No need to pore over all the details. If you’ve been paying attention, you know enough of the story. Suffice it to say, it’s been a travesty, a cancer, a tragic malignancy that has left thousands damaged beyond repair. Thousands who’ve had their dignity and the innocence of youth stolen, absconded, by no mere evil priest, but by a culture of repression and rot both pervasive and systemic.

It is that culture that must be addressed. It is there that change must absolutely begin. At the foundation. The very roots. The condemnation of homosexuality and the ridiculous notion that priests must remain chaste to be holy. A culture of repression. A culture that is archaic and absurd.

How can one honestly believe that under such circumstances, under a bureaucracy so corrupt, that America is the only country in which such rampant and egregious abuse has been allowed to flourish? No fucking way. Watch this debacle unfold and you will surely learn that it is world wide. The real estate soaked by this stain will spread across the globe to wherever Catholics wield power.

Cardinals Bernard Francis Law (who now resides safely at the Vatican) and Mahoney, should be prosecuted to the fullest extent jurisprudence will accomodate. These two at least, are the epitome of an evil that you and I can only guess at. It’s bullshit that these men and countless others are allowed to remain free from punishment and incarceration. Pope Benedict, should demonstrate to America that he gives a mad fuck by cooperating in any process necessary to bring these men to trial.

They are goddamn pedophiles by association and compliance at the very least.

No more two billion dollar civil judgements. What is needed by the institution is criminal proceedings to pair the darkest of men with the fate and punishment they purchased long ago.

Unless and until such an action can be supplied motion by the pontifex in charge, Pope Benedict, the institution of Catholicism and it’s infrastructure will continue to decay and atrophy into obsolescence while it’s spiritual influence wanes.

Let me just say this. How can you people insist that I embrace your version of God while the rot from your basement invades your rafters? That is insane.

Drinks for my friends.

Pope Benedict XVI showed up today in America. Boy, am I excited. Did you know there’s like seventy million Catholics in this country? Did you know that by being Catholic you’re automatically full of shit? Trust me, I know a few Catholics and some of them are nice, but all of them, completely full of shit.

It’s true, I loathe Catholicism. Gays will burn in hell. Third world countries shouldn’t be allowed access to birth control because premarital sex is a sin. Then there’s the rampant and chronic ass raping of children by priests. That last one is a big one. I hear it just cost them two billion bucks. That’s maybe a day and half in Iraq.

I really could go on and on and on………

Allow me to lend you some perspective. People jumped all over Barack Obama a few weeks back because the pastor of his church was percieved by some to have insulted America. How could he belong to such a church? Why didn’t he leave that church and denounce that man?

Despite the fact that Jeremiah Wright spoke the truth, it occurs to me to ask this question: How the fuck can you people, nearly seventy million of you, in all good conscience, remain Catholic?

So I’m pretty sure I saw his image today.

I was walking along skid row and in a river of crap and piss, I glimpsed a piece of toast that made me think of this fuck’s face. True, it did look a little like Dick Cheney. Anyway, I was in a bad way, so I puked bile and snot after I was certain that I saw the face of the Pope in a slice of toast floating in human sewage running down the street.

None of this is true, by the way.

I was positive that what I saw was divine so I called every cable news show I could think of on a pay phone and asked them to meet me there in front of the booth. I had a pocket full of quarters from the the jerk off stalls earlier in my evening.

I’d lifted the countenance of the current pope in the form of a toast wedge from the gutter with my left foot and placed it neatly on the floor of the the last phone booth on skid row.

Guess what? They all came. Helicopters and vans. Crazy. I told them I’d been backpacking in the Andes for the last ten years. I ate grass and drank tea. I told them my meat of choice was yak. They nodded like it made sense.

I tell them it’s him and they’ll see because his ears and forehead are scary accurate in that morsel of toast.

I tell them, I can’t forgive this man for what he’s done and what he presides over.

I tell them he should be arrested while he’s in this country and I’m sure that’s when they decide to arrest me. I try to tell them how Cardinal Mahoney is Darth fucking Vader.

I end up in a cell. He ends up with the ass of any child he desires while candles and incense burn.

I’m just trying to make a point here. Both these fucks belong in handcuffs.

Can you believe this shit?

This fuck coming here?

Want a poster boy for religion as complete crap?

I do get carried away.

Forgive me.

I call them like I see them.

You know this prick was a Nazi?

Fuck the Pope.

Drinks for my friends.

Admonitory perhaps.

This whole thing with this ‘sect’ of the LDA in Laredo Texas, serves as one or both of the above. Once again religion rears it’s misshapen countenance right here in America. Texas of all places. Utah, Colorado and Texas.

I’m just saying.

An entire belief system built around the idea that the rape of children by middle aged men is somehow not just permissable in God’s eyes, but an act that is holy. When the sons that are produced by these holy unions come of age, they are seen as competition and discarded.

Now, if that were the history or legacy of my church, I’d tip the fuck out the door.

Kind of ironic that they’ve been under investigation in our own country for four years while we’ve had prisoners in Gitmo for at least as long because someone smelled a little sulphur.

Yep, God works in mysterious ways.

All religion is filthy. Greedy. Self serving and far more concerned about preservation of the bureaucracy than any individual or group.

“Imagine there’s no heaven
It’s easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today…” -John Lennon

Since it’s inception, the concept of religion has served to explain things, phenomena, coincidence and injustice for which humanity has no other logical explanation. It used to be that religion WAS science. Since inception, religion in almost every form, has accomplished this with lies, corruption and egregious criminality.

It is a very clear and consistent pattern.

The further time marches, the more religion is beset by reason and intelligence.

Let us not dive headlong into the history of wars, genocides and tortures perpetrated in the name of someone’s God. That’s not a book, it’s an encyclopedia.

Religion is at the wheel in our politics no less than any Middle Eastern nation.

Tax the goddamn churches and hang that fucker Cardinal Mahoney for making a career out of protecting pedophile priests. How is that not worse than the LDS whack jobs?

The answer is!

The Catholics are filthy stinking rich.

The single most insidious problem in the world community is and always has been, that in most places, we are are raised with the imperative that in order to be whole and complete, we must worship a God.

I’m calling bullshit on that.

How about self reliance and personal accountability? I’m not the world’s best adjusted human, but it’s worked for me so far.

I’m not here to tell you there isn’t a God. If there is one, I doubt most of us can understand it, and I’m sure as fuck the religions I know aren’t even close. As long as we’re on the subject, not all churches are bad. If you attend to socialize and find ways to do positive things, good for you. Good people are most often the people who make doing the right thing a priority.

At the same time, when I meet an overly zealous man, I understand the chances of him being full of shit are more than good enough for me to bet on.

My name is Michael and I am an agnostic.

Keep your Jesus off my penis.

Drinks for my friends.

More TV.

Christiane Amanpour’s extensive piece on religion
titled “Gods Warriors”.

I watched most of it.

Fascinating and perhaps comforting on a certain level
to find practitioners of faith even more completely
insane than our own brand.

Scary because they have more conviction and less
hypocrisy.

Ironic they live in an arid region that supplies the
big blue marble with oil while the world’s breadbasket
drowns because of America’s abuse and control of the
filthy nectar sucked from their sand.

Religion is at the core of this conflict. It is the
fundament. It is why we are where we are. Neither
side of the marble will relenquish it’s imaginary
friend. Both sides insist that it’s imaginary friend
is morally superior to the other. By virtue of that, each side
is confident that it’s imaginary friend can kick the
other’s ass.

Yet, it was not the Muslims or the Christians that
poured nitro on this acient and acrimonius pile of
smouldering camel crap that has us on the threshold of
a third world war. The first where we are capable
of entirely erasing ourselves.

It was our government. Dick-in-Bush, a spineless
congress and a complicit judiciary.

Welcome to the fifth grade.

I gotta tell ya, I’m not happy to see proof that
they are just as gullible, dogmatic and stupid as we
are. Christian fundamentalists scare me every bit as
much as Muslim extremists.

It’s kinda like being in a dive bar. A small one.
And there’s two dumbasses that don’t have enough sense
to realize that the shit they are stirring will end up
with at least one of them bleeding bad on the floor.
As well as the real possibility that they’re both
packing and will kill each other and more than a few of
the rest of us.

That, my friends, is where we are. Organized religion
is comprehensively culpable.

Religion took the bait.

Religion smiled, held out its hands and
accepted the kool aid along with a formula to make
it available to the masses. They then followed
through with glee. They paid it forward.

We are in a war of religious ideology.

I’m about to piss a few of you off.

Faith* is stupid. Creationism is retarded. All you
people who buy into God, in any traditional sense, are
willfully ignorant.

Your goddamn beliefs are the root of most of the evil
ever perpetuated and precisely the reason the world
has remained in chaos since man has been able to write
about it.

The single most important reason I loathe organized
religion is it’s complete disregard of logic. Of
Science. Of what makes sense. Empirical
discipline.

There’s a sixty thousand square foot museum in
Kentucky dedicated to creationism. One diorama after
another of modern man hanging out with dinosaurs. A
sprawling complex in 21st century America, dedicated
to picking it’s nose and looking out the window at
every theory, fact, and mountain of evidentiary
information mankind has been able to compile
throughout history.

No apologies. That’s really stupid.
You have got to be fucking kidding me.

I don’t know if the Muslim religion has a parallel for
Santa Clause but I’ve always viewed Christianity as
Santa and his list of good and bad kids, for adults.

See all religion has long since been usurped by
avarice. Faith and bureaucracy do not mix. It is a
recipe for corruption and myopic pursuit of power and
control.

My point is this: If we are to prosper as a species on
this tiny blue moist spec of dust in in a universe
beyond our imagination, we absolutelty must learn
humility. We must discard these archaic and obsolete
notions of superiority based on distorted views of the
way our world was made and/or the badassness of our imaginary friends.

We are an accident. A biological coincidence lucky
enough to flourish and achieve consciousness. It
is imperative that we stop our bickering and begin to
be grateful for our barely consequential existence.

Walk it off people. Set it aside. There are things
so important you cannot begin to imagine them.

You want to worship? How about worshipping where your water comes from? How about the planet that sustains you? Your family and friends and all the people you’ve never met and won’t ever meet? Art. Kittens. Whiskey.

*What I’m talking about here is blind unchecked faith.
All I know, is if I were to observe merely faith in
the context of day to day, I would end up residing in
a cardboard box.

I am an agnostic. As such, I view your God, in
whatever form you believe it to be, as without proof
of superiority, or even existence. I don’t care. All
I want, is for you to refrain from trying to insert it
into my life, our society, our government, our world
and MY FUTURE.

Drinks for my friends.

The world’s preeminent hypocrite has taken the dirt
nap. Jerry Falwell was the epitome of everything that
is evil about organized religion.

Now he’s goddamn dead and not a microsecond too soon.
Hang on kids, this is going to be an angry piece,
and I intend to enjoy it. With all sincerity and
vigor I say fuck that piece of shit.

Forgive me or not, but this dirtbag crossed too many
lines. He sucked.

This man had the sociopathic narcistic temerity to
posit that the purple teletubby was homosexual for
carrying a purse and that gays and lesbians et al.
were the reason that three thousand people died on
September 11, 2001. I wonder if he knew that his very
own government, the same one foisted on the rest of us
by his christian fundamentalist right, was complicit
in the events of that day.

And, the events of this day.

A knave masquerading as a charlatan who devoted his
life to encouraging people with as mere a thing as a
different opinion to as all important a thing as an
inherent and genetic prediposition of gender
preference, to feel less than he and his followers.
Lots less, like burning for eternity kinda less. Like suicide kinda less. He
fomented hate and fear and bathed unapoligetically in
the filthy lucre his vitriol generated.

His worst trangression remains his calculated
vivisectional offensive into American politics. He
succeeded rather spectacularly at legislating his own
brand of morality under Reagan. It began with the usurping of that toad
Jim Baker.

Jimmy Carter, a polite man of devout faith, a man
who’s emerged as a Nobel Peace Prize winning
humanitarian and philosopher, told this prick Falwell
to go to hell.

I hope he choked or something. Really, nothing
peaceful, like passing in his slumber. See, by the
time he was finished, until the day he died, if you
were a politician, you just might be fucked without
him. And whatever you do, don’t piss him off. Present
tense intended. This ghost will haunt us.

And to all his followers; this is the best you could
do? This is your spokesman? Your man of god? This
self righteous, judgemental harlequin? You people are
ignorant, pious, frightened fools.

If the concept of justice remains exempt from archaic,
I anticipate Mr. Falwell to be waking up any minute in
his worst nightmare of hell with a mouth full of shit.

Hope I pissed somebody off.

Drinks for my friends.

I’M SO SORRY FOR THE SANDWICH I’VE CAUSED YOU.

You know, maybe I put too much faith in intelligence. It has always been paramount to me. I think I’ve become naive about it.

I understand a lot of smart people possess a capacity for compassion that borders on the sublime. Yet, some of the smartest people to walk this world have been brutes.

Somehow, I’ve always given the intelligent ones a pass. With ethics and morals, it’s probably fifty fifty on a good day no matter how you codify the masses. Lower if you’re Christian. Ha!

The human population is an organ of the Earth.

The pendulum swings from conservative to kinda populist liberal every 7-10 years in this country. The United States is an organ of the world.

I don’t even want to go into which organ we are because it’s full of cancer.

Anyway. Perhaps good and evil are the same. They, the two prevailing social doctrines, are not static. They ebb and flow and subscribe to their own cycle.

Forgive me, I’m moving pretty fast, I just don’t want to belabor the point.

Therefore, so do all the individual organisms everywhere. Humans, for example, are reasonably complex and it goes with out saying that we all have our own clock.

Yes, I think I’ve observed this on an individual level of late, for the last few years actually. I worry about the amount of dark I see instead of light among humans.

I would imagine anyone paying attention hasn’t missed the the way of the world and the earth, lapping at the conscious.

Despite what I’ve seen just lately, my gut tells me that the pendulum is weightless. At it’s apogee, the very glimpse of time between the end of one arc and the beginning of another. So, perhaps what I’ve observed lately, is not what it will be soon. I hope.

I’m just sayin’.

Drinks for my friends.

Turned on the glass tit and CNN is doing a piece on religion vs. science. I’m not here to offend anyone but I’m certainly not afraid to either. But then, you knew that.

Here then, are my thoughts:

Creationism as opposed to evolution? A walk in the park. The idea that the earth is merely between six and ten thousand years old and that humans were created essentially as they are today is bullshit. The very notion is archaic and absurd.

Now, having said that, why do the concepts of creationism and evolution have to be mutually exclusive?

In my mind, it certainly didn’t transpire the way any western religion would have us believe.

All the religious texts including the bible, are but attempts at an explanation by people far more primitive than we today to elucidate our origin and provide reasons to abstain from killing our neighbors and stealing their stuff. At best these texts are metaphorical and symbolic.

And you know what? There’s not a lot wrong with that.

At least not in theory.

In practice however, it is my empirical observation that religion has done more to corrupt and subvert the decency of mankind than any other force or belief system. More lives lost and blood spilled in the name of the god du jour than for any other impetus in history.

Yet isn’t it somewhat arrogant for us to believe that our existence is the result of some random explosion and then a nearly impossible series of events and conditions that led to some sort of biologically rich primordial soup from which all the creatures we see today eventually emerged?

Again, why do the two concepts of creationism and evolution have to be mutually exclusive? Certainly the profound miracles of things like love and compassion are no accident. Forgive me, but kittens and flowers and a scorching guitar solo seem to stand out a little to me and fly in the face of the notion of some grand elaborate accident.

Here’s the deal; we have yet to even approach the answer. Therein lies the rub. Neither of the two conflicting concepts are adequate as rationale for why I pee standing up and women should probably squat, and other brain pulverizing ideas like horseradish and republicans.

Logic would dictate that either both are bogus or the answer lies somewhere in between.

I prefer the latter.

In my mind, there must be a higher power. But I don’t doubt that it has very little to do with some white guy with a fairly lustrous head of hair and beard. The bible is a fable. C’mon, if Jesus lived, he was most likely black. That doesn’t bother me in the slightest. It really chaps the ass of some dude in Alabama named Bubba though. And that’s just silly.

Christianity is is rife with contradictions and hypocrisy. It’s disturbing and disgusting to posit that an individual will suffer agony for eternity because of sexual preference. Regardless of whether that proclivity is genetic or by choice makes little difference to me. Muslims for example, are forbidden to wipe their asses with their right hand or eat/drink with the left. I’m sure that made sense five thousand years ago when the concept of germs was callow at best, but these days it’s just ridiculous. The same can be said of the various kosher ceremonies of food preperation and consumption.

I am agnostic but that is not at odds with my spiritual nature. In important ways, humility is fundamental. It’s important to not just tolerate, but accommodate other’s beliefs. It’s important to be aware of the fact that we can’t be sure we know any better.

Yet, I will not waiver in my disdain for those ignorant and judgemental. With all sincerity, I do not give a mad fuck what your book says if it’s your excuse to discriminate, malign or commit violence.

Drinks for my friends.

I’ve been reading this guy for awhile now. He finally really pissed me off. Comment on his blog? I mean, I’d really like that.

Here he is in all his glory

Friday, February 09, 2007 – 7:24 PM
“You African-American Looking Person!!!”
So he’s not so articulate after all. (chuckles) The junior, moslem-born, half-white, half-black, part-time Christian, full-time idiot Senator from Illinois had this to say to the drooling children at ’60 Minutes’ this week:

“Acknowledging that his presidential campaign has opened a racial debate, Sen. Barack Obama, who has a white mother and an African father, says if you look African-American, you are treated like one. Obama and his wife, Michelle, who also addresses the race issue, appear in an interview with Steve Kroft to be broadcast on 60 MINUTES, Sunday Feb. 11 (7:00-8:00 PM, ET/PT) on the CBS television Network. If, as expected, Obama declares his formal candidacy for the Democratic presidential nomination tomorrow, it will be his first interview to be broadcast after that event.

When asked by Kroft if growing up in a white household had caused him to make a decision to be black, Obama replies, “I’m not sure I decided it. I think… if you look African American in this society, you’re treated as an African-American.”

Okay……

A few quick observations. First of all, Steve Kroft? You’re a fucking idiot. Who “chooses” to be black? LMFAO!!! You goddamn liberal geeks just never stop, do you? You “choose” to be black? What a tool. I think even Katie Couric could have done a better job.

“So tell me, Barak, …(ha ha ha) I can call you Barak, can’t I? I call all my friends that. Ha, ha, ha. So tell us, Mr. Osama…..did your dog choose to be black….or white?”

Good Lord,….we live in Hell.

Then, Mr. Osama bin Hezbollah Barak bin Obama responded with the only answer available that was even dumber than Kroft’s stupid question.

“I’m not sure I decided it. I think… if you look African American in this society, you’re treated as an African-American.”

Gee. You mean like how Condoleeza Rice is “treated black”? Or Colin Powell? Is he “treated black”? How about Michael Jordan or Tony Dungy or Tiger Woods? Think people “treat them black”? How about James Earl Jones, Forrest Whitaker, Samuel L. Jackson? Think they get “treated black?”

You know what I think, Mr. Barak bin Hezbollah bin Osama? I think you’re dumber than you are black. Because you’re only half-black, but obviously FULL-BLOODED STUPID. That’s what I think. You’re divisive, inciteful, and racist. But that’s NOT the reason you’re dumber than pig shit.

See, you are a dumbass-jackass. It’s why you’re a Dummycrap. I’ll explain it all to you since you’re apparently too stupid to grasp it for yourself. The only freaks who care about what color you are is Democrats…everyone’s favorite old slavery supporters. Republicans don’t GIVE A SHIT what color you are. We care about YOUR POLITICS, …moron. Republicans LOVE Condoleeza Rice! I’d vote for her in a heartbeat if she ran for President. MILLIONS OF WHITE Republicans would. AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Forget about that one, Barak? If I have another daughter, I’m NAMING HER “Condoleeza”!!! LOLOLOL!!! What do you think about that….you jackass.

The joke is on YOU, …you friggin’ geek!!! (what an idiot….hehehehe….I just can’t resist….someone stop me. I’m having more fun than is legally allowed) Let me educate you a little bit here, Mr. Dumbass. All we the people care about is that you’re a far-left wing fruitcake that represents the socialist movement in America and wants to bring back baby-brain-drilling up till the moment of birth….and that you’re a moslem and lying about that and many other things to us.

But black? LMFAO!!! You wish we cared.

And what is this bullshit line, “get treated like one”? What the hell is that? How do “blacks get treated in America”, Mr. Genius? Care to answer that one? Still sitting at the back of the bus, you racist son-of-a-bitch. Grrrr. I’d like to kick the half-white part of your ass, Barak, since I’d seriously object if you called me a racist for kicking BOTH DUMB HALVES. Hmmm…..for the sake of honesty and integrity, I’m just going to call you a fucking liar and a racist in print. How’s that?

Isn’t it funny when a half-breed tries to play the race card that no one cares about? Obviously you’re too stupid to get elected, Mr. Osama-Obama.

Oh shit, …..nevermind. I just thought of Carter, Clinton, and Pelosi. Uh…I better close for now.

“Treated like a black”. LOLOLOL. Give me a break……you putz.

I think if it were me, I’d have just said, “Oh, I wake-up in the morning and flip a coin. Heads I’m white….tails I’m black.”

Good grief. Wow…..and I just realized that with all those insults I forgot to call him “black”. Oh wow. LMAO!!! …what an idiot.

P.S. Just a “Helpful Hint” for the junior senator who’s never done this before. Please stop with the dark skin make-up before the photo-ops. We’re a little bit more sophisticated than that.

************************************************************************

I once guessed that you were the Andrew Dice Clay of the right. Much like Ann Coulter, your shit is so hateful, vile and irresponsible that intelligent people are inclined to believe it’s an act.

On this blog in particular, I gotta hope I’m not being, at the least naive, and not anything like maybe……… blind shit house stupid.

You see, if I’m wrong about you, you’re an ignorant, racist.

You write this ridiculous jingoistic, straw man, ad hominem, biased bullshit and usually it’s at least kinda funny in an over the top kinda way.

You’re not a bad writer. You’ve complimented me before as well. I don’t think you’re stupid.

I think you’re worse. I think you’re willfully ignorant and scared to death.

You write like a man desperately afraid of a world that he just doesn’t understand. Thanks for pointing out that Obama rhymes with Osama. Mark rhymes with Clark. Dick rhymes with Rick. Sometimes they’re even short for the same name.

Tell me you’re not that big of an asshole.

All the celebrities you reference could tell you more than handful of stories about being treated “black” you fucking retard. I guarantee it.

It was at this point that I began to wonder about your point. Fuckhead.

Happy Obama Declaration Day 🙂

Obama says, “I’m not sure I decided it. I think… if you look African American in this society, you’re treated as an African-American.”. Based on that single statement lifted directly from your blog, you call/accuse him of being:

“You know what I think, Mr. Barak bin Hezbollah bin Osama? I think you’re dumber than you are black. Because you’re only half-black, but obviously FULL-BLOODED STUPID. That’s what I think. You’re divisive, inciteful, and racist. But that’s NOT the reason you’re dumber than pig shit.”

What he said sounded pretty damn obvious to me and the sense that it represented was, pretty fucking obvious as well. And that, my underpriveledged friend, is something niether you or I will ever have a handle on. At least not like anyone in America today with skin a color other than white.

If you’re a decent comedian, you should be able to deal with the handful of hecklers I’m hoping to point in your direction. Best of luck.

It may be somewhat useless this far down the road, but I need to take exception to one more thing. “Republicans don’t GIVE A SHIT what color you are.”

What?

“The only freaks who care about what color you are is Democrats…everyone’s favorite old slavery supporters.”

WHAT???

WITH ALL DUE RESPECT, FUCK YOU IN THE NECK.

In the middle 1960’s the republican party began to take control of the south by exploiting the racial divide that existed and burned hotter there than any other region of the country. They did so specifically by opposing civil rights legislation, integration and bussing. The modern day southern region of the united states now votes overwhelmingly republican and is still the most overtly racist region of the country.

Seriously. Are you that big of an asshole?

You seem to think that by using Mr. Obama’s name in a sentence with words like “Hezbollah”, you’re making some huge point about evil Islam. Twenty percent of the worlds population is muslim. The majority are peaceful. That fact makes you a fucking idiot.

I’m going to post this as a blog. I’m telling you this to be fair.

Now show me some sack and allow this to go through as a comment on your blog.

I’m sick of your shit.

Drinks for my Friends.