Archive for the ‘Russia’ Category

The need to communicate.  To write.  Despite not having anything immediate to say.

I’m here in Carson City because I imagined it to be a haven of sorts.  If not that, then friendly.  Sanctuary from exorbitant bills and ridiculous drama.  I was weary of the drama and the bills.  Mostly the bills.  Spent am I.  Pun intended.  It started off okay.  Business prospects were promising.  I had irons in the fire.  Sibling drama did rear it’s ugly head but I was honest and above it.  Restrained.  I chose distance in light of the wildest cards and it served me for a time.  I’m smart.

Dad fell from a ladder, broke six ribs and a shoulder, madness prevailed on every level.  Soon after, sibling rivalry exploded like Krakatoa.  I wake up checking to see if I still have an ass.  I realize now I’m in deep depression once again.  I would risk the reader’s patience at this point were I to detail how often and how hard life has been punching me straight in the mouth in the last year or so.

I’s okay, I roll with it and drink a lot.

A carnival of nonsense.  My sanctuary a mirage.  I do tap the occasional oasis and it is like paradise by the dashboard light.  I get refueled, nourished and a chance to wash my face and hands.  I wash my stinking crotch and put on clean socks, put on a little lotion.  Don’t always know where to find those islands, but I know if I sail long enough……   No sooner than this and I’m waiting for vulgar to ring the bell.  Ugly will revisit any day.  It’s true I’m feeling sorry for myself but you can’t know what’s visited me in the last year or so.

It’s been pretty fucked up.

I am weary.

I hate most people and most things.  Sometimes.

Outside the wind rages, but inside Swirly Girl the Cat snores like a drunken boxer, whistling and snorting.  It makes me smile.  Her face flinches and flickers in the throes of a dream.  I smile some more.  Her paws are curled inward.  Her nose tucked between them.  We’ll move to the bedroom and she’ll sleep beside my head all night.  I am her father.  She is my beloved problem child.  She frowns and objects a lot.  I just love on her as best I can.

I have to care about what happens next but it’s easier said than done.  People really suck.  You have no idea.

I’ll take politics and world events for five hundred Alex.  If you visit regularly it’s most likely the reason.

Item one:

Can you believe this fuckhead Stupak?  Smoking tobacco is no different than smoking lettuce leaves.  He didn’t say that but I don’t care.  No real surprise that he rents a room at C Street and his head is misshapen.  Can you say hydrocephalus?  This guy is a dick.  44,000 people a year dying due to lack of health care insurance and he wants to make the whole thing about Roe v. Wade?  What an asshole.  News flash, we’ve got it covered with the Hyde amendment.

No worries dickhead.

To stir this brand of shit in light of just how important this issue is, is beyond irresponsible.  It’s plain stupid and I think someone’s ego needs a leash and a muzzle.  Thanks you peniswhipped cocktail.

Item two:

Sarah Palin and her new book and book tour.  She’s doing the “battleground” states.  Who cares?  Run the stupid bitch in 2012.  Please.  Run Romney and Huckabee and Limbaugh or Hannity.  The Keystone Cops, The Stooges, The Flinstones or maybe Tucker Carlson and Orly Tates and Wile E. Coyote.  Yep, bring it.  Give us a show.  I swear I equated Romney to Guy Smiley before the Daily Show did.  Bitches.  I’m way on top of this shit.  Sometimes.

Item three:

I’m very much encouraged to hear Obama has rejected all battle plans he’s been presented with for Afghanistan.  We don’t have the resources in terms of personnel and we don’t have the money to even attempt to support a government we know to be abstrusely compromised.  It’s a no win boys and girls.  The pooch was raped seven years ago.  People die for no reason everyday.

Time to take the long way home.  Russia failed.  England failed.  No invading force or country has ever prevailed despite it being among the poorest countries on earth.  We’re certainly no smarter and likely even dumber than those who’ve come before us.

We have no clear objectives or realistically realizable goals.  No one can define “victory” or a “successful mission”.  We are lost.  Strangers in a strange land fighting for what?  Use the money we are spending there, to increase security here, if the idea really is to be proactive.

I’m not talking about taking off your goddamn shoes or limiting the size of your toothpaste or shampoo containers before you board a flight from Burbank to fucking Reno.  I always travel to Reno at the behest of Allah because I don’t shit where I eat.  Ha!  Such policies are useless and miss the point entirely.  It’s all about demonstrating that someone, somewhere, is doing something to show the dumbest among us that someone, somewhere is doing something to protect us.  Nevermind that it represents nothing more than an inconvenience and an egregious breach of logic.  Somewhere, someone is doing something.

In the meantime, more people die everyday because of lack of health care or insurance than in our elective wars.  Pretty fucking stupid, huh?  It’s no wonder the world thinks we’re a big stupid bully.  It’s no wonder Sarah Palin still has a realistic shot at the presidency.

The only way to even find out if the conflict in Afghanistan is solvable is to escalate it to the level of the Vietnam conflict.  That means 50,000 dead Americans and millions of dead Afghanis, many of whom will be civilian.  Good plan.  Time to walk away.

Wait.  That’s actually more than we lose every year due to our health care clusterfuck.  Oh boy.  Now we’re cooking with butane.

Item four:

I don’t really care if the Ft. Hood massacre is defined as “terrorism” or not.  It was terrible.  Horrible.  Horribalism?  Anyone?  It’s a fucking tragedy and Republican efforts to label it as terrorism amount to nothing more than a cheap shot as well as shameful exploitation of what is simply an American tragedy.  Somehow these pricks believe that if they can succeed with the blatant polemic nomenclature of terrorism they can claim that a terrorist event occurred on Obama’s watch.  Good luck with that you fucks.  Your’s happened two months earlier under your watchful and diligent eyes and you lost three thousand in an event so contrived that I doubt we know half the truth.  We lost thirteen.

Idiots.

Drinks for my friends.

First up, Cindy Stepford McCain. Oh boy. Can’t wait.

Out she comes with the whole dam fam minus the Bootlicker and introduces them before dismissing them. She goes to Gustav victims. She speaks like she’s on something. She’s an empty vessel. Maybe her batteries are low. I wonder what she looks like without her face plate.

“If only the Federal Government would get itself under control and out of our way”. She’s boring. Cut to What’s Her Name telling her daughter to “smile for me”.

Sappy, predictable and obvious. Offered in dulcet tones of halcyon. She comes from the house that Anheuser built. She steals mustard packets from fast food restaurants. She always has kleenex on her somewhere.

She manages to highlight the profound lack of substance in every speech thus far at this convention, in stark contrast to the style AND subtance served up by the Democrats last week. No mention of the beleaguered middle class, the suffering poor, health care et al, nor a whiff of what they intend to do about any of it.

Doubtfire is next. I’m looking for policy, metrics, specifics……….

I’m not holding my breath. That’s not to say I’m not touching myself. It’s purely platonic. Intellectual. You know what I mean.

The video introduction is heavy on the POW thing. Ok, I fucking get it. Enough. Oh yeah, and he’s a maverick. Lotsa black folks in the video. Whatever. Talk about a desperate whore for a brand.

He ambles geriatric to the dais. The knot in his tie is mediocre and the garment itself is yellow. Cut to a sign that says you can’t win an occupation. Another cut to a sign that says McCain votes against vets. Chants of USA. He actually mentions Dumbya for keeping us safe or something; offering us proof that although his phallus is withered and dry, his balls touch the water in the bowl.

So far it’s all fluff. He goes on and on. Family, yadda, yadda yadda yadda. He tells us he won’t let us down and he’ll earn our trust. Some grace when talking about Our Man. A little humility even.

Tumescence anyone?

Prosperity and peace is the message as dissenters are manhandled out of the venue. He calls it “ground noise and static” and they laugh. He’s going to stand on our side and fight for our future and he’s found the right patrner to do so. He proceeds to lie shamelessly about her. He’s creepy when he forces a smile after making it a point to lie.

Change is coming he tells us.

Time for a smoke.

He’s gonna veto pork barrel spending. I guess that’s how intends to solve our economic woes. Republicans are astonishingly anti-union.

And then,”rather lose an election than a war”. Fuck me. I’m shirtless so I haven’t ruined my pinko liberal blouse. The communist in me smiles and heads to the bathroom to wash up.

He fights for us he says. He’s nearly as dull as his wife. We’re going to get back to basics. We’re all God’s children and we’re all Americans. A culture of life. As opposed to what? Judges who don’t legislate from the bench. Families and communities. A government that doesn’t make your choices for you.

Uh huh.

Lies about Democrats and taxes. Democrats will close markets. His tax cuts will create jobs. I assume he’s talking about the Bush tax cuts. Good luck with that one Doubtfire. More lies about taxes and healthcare. They eat it up. A bureaucrat will stand between you and your healthcare. Um, ok. That’s different from now how?

Oh, how the great unwashed covet and then adore to feast on the lies.

He offers a follicle of policy without specificity. We’re on to education. His answer is a choice for parents as to where they send their children to school. Good luck with that John. Don’t try to fix it, walk away. Privatize it. That’s breathtakingly stupid in light of the egregious impact deregulation and privatization has visited upon the struggling and downtrodden.

You know, your base, fuckhead?

Good show Bootlicker.

He’s gonna battle big oil. Is that despite the money he takes from them? Drill baby, drill. Again, a modicum of policy in the broadest and most ambiguous of terms.

Terror, terror, terror. Russia and more Russia. International lawlessness. Ha! He knows how the world works. He knows how to secure the peace. He hates war. Good to know.

Vietnam.

Time for a smoke. And a cocktail refresh.

I’m getting sleepy. More POW stuff. War stories. Again, respect an admiration but enough is enough. It’s not a qualification for President. I’m sorry, it’s just not. It’s a courageous story. He may be a better man than me or possibly you, but in light of all else that is requisite, it’s simply not enough.

It makes him suspect.

The camera finds a sign with the word maverick spelled wrong.

He wraps it up with some sentimental euphoria, the balloons and confetti drop and the families take the stage and they play Barracuda by Heart. Wonder how Anne and Nancy feel about that.

Who cares. I give him a D minus. He barely passed. I am not impressed.

At least What’s Her Name was entertaining.

“Don’t let your sly eye ricochet off the silver in a hobo’s pocket”. -Colbert

Drinks for my friends.

An actual headline from the website.

These people are full of shit.

Duh.

“ExtenZe is the strongest, most advanced formula available today to increase the size of your penis and enhance sexual desire, pleasure and performance. With the newest, most advanced medically designed formula ever created for male sexual enhancement, it’s simply the best and is all natural with no harmful side effects. Increase the size of your penis in just a few weeks by taking one ExtenZe tablet each day. ExtenZe works for men of any age.
Even if you’ve tried everything, even other pills, you owe it to yourself to try the one that really works…ExtenZe!”

I called the toll free number. I told them I was a prominent blogger and would be happy to tell the truth about their product if they would agree to send me a free sample.

The TV deal was postage only for a free seven day trial so they only wanted 97 cents.

They only accept credit cards, however.

I reminded them I was a very prominent blogger and they should just send it to me.

They only accept credit cards.

They refused to waive the postage for the very prominent blogger.

I suggested COD to the very polite and friendly Phillipino lady.

No way I’m giving these fucks my credit card.

Wait! The Commercial is on again. Who the fuck is Doctor Stein from the Stein Institute? If he were suddenly thrust into the public school system he’d automatically be diagnosed with a learning disorder, given a helmet and assigned to the short bus. If that didn’t work they’d make sure he was bullied constantly and made to believe he was a homo and that it was very bad to be a homo.

They only accept credit cards.

How fucking stupid can people be?

I will share this with you. If there were a product on the market that could increase the size of male humanoid genitalia, in a male dominated world such as this, it would be available as lozenge sized discs packaged in a foil wrapper at the counter of every convenience store, gas station, drugstore, vending machine and public restroom in America. Eventually pushbutton dispensers for gorillas and every other male primate on God’s green Earth would be made available.

They only accept credit cards for the fucking postage.

I tried, she was polite, I regret not telling her that I’d be recording the conversation as well for purposes having nothing to do with quality or customer service. I wasn’t recording, I just wish I’d said it.

I asked about ingredients. She was a little vague.

It’s on again. Stein has personally researched the product! He’s got golden signage on a pinkish brick facade. Five men, at least one of them gay, testify to having achieved a larger unit.

“Dr. Stein has lectured internationally and is a regular guest on a variety of television programs nationwide. He is also widely quoted as an authority on sexual health and medicine in popular magazines such as Redbook, Glamour, Cosmopolitan, and Mademoiselle.” -extenze.com

Pillars of responsible journalism all. I don’t care who this horse’s ass is, if he’s trying to convince me he’s got a pill that will make my dick bigger, he’s insulting my intelligence and that makes him an asshole and a potential sociopath.

“Special area of the male body”

“Male enhancement”

Now there’s a full on infomercial with three broads on a couch answering questions like, “When did you first discover size?” They have taken over the airwaves.

This is the cheesiest most resolute pandering to the lowest common denominator goddamn thing I’ve ever seen.

It may be gratuitous to mention, but my male membership has recieved consistent praise. I’m a Douglass after all.

“Size is a big thing”

“The most easiest product I’ve taken”

Unfuckingbelievable.

The fact that this broadcast makes it into my living room is an example of the millions of idiots breathing my air.

This angers me.

“synergistic blend”

For men who are not only dipshits, but tragically under endowed.

Doctor Stein is creepy as a septic tank.

I understand there’s been a Chupacabra sighting in Texas by a fat cop with an onboard camera.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, welcome to the Dope Show.

This shit with Georgia and Russia scares the piss out of me. We got nuthin. Not a damn thing. Lest ye think them that talks tough are brave, trust me when I tell you they are instead, stupid. We got nuthin.

See what I’m saying?

Drinks for my friends.

McCain: “In The 21st Century Nations Don’t Invade Other Nations”

Sheezus!

This from a moron who doesn’t understand the difference between Sunni and Shia or that there even is one. This from a man so obtuse as to say in a primary debate that Americans are better off than four or eight years ago. This from a man so ignorant and stupid as to describe an appearance in Baghdad acommpanied by blackhawk helicopters and dozens of heavily armed soldiers as no different than a Sunday afternoon stroll in some bucolic American neighborhood.

Word is he’s thinking about Lieberman as a running mate. That beats Romney in absurdity by a mile.

The problem is that this idiot is a serious contender for President of The United States. The problem is that there are that many dipshits voting.

Obviously, Iraq means America and the Bush administration have virtually no credibility or authority regarding the conflict between Russia and Georgia. So absent either in fact, they look silly trying to talk about it.

Russia has basically invited Dumbya to piss up a rope.

The Keystone Cops, indeed.

Next we have this asswipe, Jerome Corsi, dropping another turd of a tome filled with copious quantities of complete bullshit about Our Man. The aforementioned voters, well, the ones that can actually read, will no doubt hoover this crap like it’s the next New Testament or some cheesy bodice ripper with extra large print and a diminutive number of adjectives.

I cannot wrap my brain around the fact that this is even a contest. I’ve said that before. I doubt it’s the last time. I can’t help but lament what looks for all the world like willful ignorance. Ten percent still believe our man to be Muslim. So what if he was? Turns out he’s a Christian. At least he’s nondenominational. I have no more or less respect for Christians than Muslims. Why would I? I’ll bet the ratio between crazy fanatics and well intentioned altruists is near identical.

Who knows how many Muslims are pedophiles with autonomy granted by their faith?

Wake up. Muslims are no more a threat than any other group, religion or country on this bright blue marble. What will it take to convince the great unwashed to stop panicking at shadows and think for themselves?

People amaze me.

For the record, I’m reading Vincent Bugliosi’s “The Prosecution of George W. Bush for Murder” and he’s pretty pissed. On Deck is Pasty McSquinty’s “What Happened”. I’m really looking forward to Ron Suskind’s new one.

Whatever.

Drinks for my friends.

Chelsea is hot.

I really think so.

“I think I’m turning Japanese, I think I’m turning Japanese, I really think so” – The Vapors.

Anyway.

They did swing hard. Some good stuff. We like a good dustup between mostly like and right minded people.

Obama does very well. He’s taller and tends to throw his punches down. He really is impressive.

Hills takes punches and throws uppercuts like Roberto Duran. She is tough and fascinating.

I do believe Obama’s remarks about Reagan are what they are. His point was that Reagan was a transformative president, no value placed, good or bad.

I think he was alluding to Ronnie being able to so effectively snow so many rednecks and the great unwashed. See, Reagan sucked and he was, in the contemporary tradition of Republican presidents, an absolute out of touch dipshit.

Ronald Reagan was a human hurricane for the have nots. Let me be clear here; Reagan fucking sucked.

Russia was broken on the backs of our middle class and poor. And the rich began to get richer.

Reaganomics. Trickle down. Shut the fuck up. He was an actor, and not a great one by any stretch.

Ok, sorry.

Edwards is a class act. My mother was a delegate in the Nevada caucuses and she was there for Edwards. I agree with her. He is the best of the three. She wasn’t able to make it happen. He got his “butt kicked”.

I would like to see Edwards prevail in South Carolina. A little leveling of the field would be healthy and his is a good voice in this contest. The man has integrity.

To one degree or another, I like them all. It’s not perfect, but we are lucky. This is an excellent group. Intelligent and passionate.

Then there is the big picture. The entertainment value. Not since the last time a diminutive jug eared paste eater waded in (Perot/Kucinich), has the contest for leader of the free world been so compelling.

Sometimes I wax pessimistic and realize that what we have here is the best of a worse case scenario. Our country is so broken. I understand that not one of these three may be capable or even desirous of the profound shift we absolutely need.

America is in a very bad way. Yet, despite which one prevails, it is a long step in the right direction. I really can’t afford to think about whether any one of them can do enough. Probably not.

But you know, small steps?

Drinks for my friends.

September 19, 2007
Today Obama proposed a tax cut and that’s a spectacularly dumb idea.
In all fairness, he did propose some much needed reforms as well as shifts in policy and ideology. He did speak to the widening income gap and therefore, simultaneous atrophy of the middle class and concentration of wealth in America right goddamn now.
But, we’ve got a whole fucking city down south that is now merely a study in compassionless governmental inept broke ass dipshitedness.
And this war is not only shamefully stupid but very expensive. Russia fell because they ran out of money. Russia crawled away from Afghanistan because the coffers were about echo, long since about ring. A radioactive water supply, shit loads of nukes and nuke fuel unaccounted for……………and Putin overtly tightens his grip.
He pretty much fired everybody and took his ball home this week.
By the way, Russia is back.
And this time we’re broke.
Then we have the housing bust, it looked to me more like a soft skull implosion, and the inevitable subprime conflagration. Greenspan maintains he missed that one. I doubt that.
Then there’s the extraordinarily ominous notion that China owns a massive chunk of our asses.
Tax cuts are a really bad idea. Simply because the best we could hope for, were Barack to prevail, is a symbolic cut in taxes to the poor and middle class and no reform at all.
Well, and because it’s a really stupid idea from every other angle as well. The Republicans tried the tax cut tango and by virtue of smoke and mirrors, murder and lasers, fucked every one but the rich.
What we need, is those proposed reforms and re-prioritizing. Repeal the Dick-in-Bush fuckery and close the damn loopholes. You know, the ones that make it free to do business offshore?
We really need to pull an assload of troops out of Iraq as our very first DIPLOMATIC move. While we’re doing that we need to start making some goddamn friends in the neighborhood for once.
We don’t need no fucking tax cuts Mr. Obama. Your move may be a shallow populist grab for the great unwashed because your fellow Donkey/steeds are bustin a nut over healthcare, while you and Hills are on the big pharma tit like no other whorse on the grounds.
Or you may be sincere. I don’t care. Bad form. Gamesmanship: Zero.
I’m simply using you as example Mr. Obama, an example of underestimating what we want and what we know is needed. We have whales to fry. Now is no time to make decreasing revenue an empty priority.
I don’t dislike you, so I’m hoping you do better.
By the way, Stewart and Greenspan tonight was a Frazetta painting of two genuine big brained geeks riffing. It rocked my taint.
Drinks for my friends.

Today Obama proposed a tax cut and that’s a spectacularly dumb idea.
In all fairness, he did propose some much needed reforms as well as shifts in policy and ideology. He did speak to the widening income gap and therefore, simultaneous atrophy of the middle class and concentration of wealth in America right goddamn now.
But, we’ve got a whole fucking city down south that is now merely a study in compassionless governmental inept broke ass dipshitedness.
And this war is not only shamefully stupid but very expensive. Russia fell because they ran out of money. Russia crawled away from Afghanistan because the coffers were about echo, long since about ring. A radioactive water supply, shit loads of nukes and nuke fuel unaccounted for……………and Putin overtly tightens his grip.
He pretty much fired everybody and took his ball home this week.
By the way, Russia is back.
And this time we’re broke.
Then we have the housing bust, it looked to me more like a soft skull implosion, and the inevitable subprime conflagration. Greenspan maintains he missed that one. I doubt that.
Then there’s the extraordinarily ominous notion that China owns a massive chunk of our asses.
Tax cuts are a really bad idea. Simply because the best we could hope for, were Barack to prevail, is a symbolic cut in taxes to the poor and middle class and no reform at all.
Well, and because it’s a really stupid idea from every other angle as well. The Republicans tried the tax cut tango and by virtue of smoke and mirrors, murder and lasers, fucked every one but the rich.
What we need, is those proposed reforms and re-prioritizing. Repeal the Dick-in-Bush fuckery and close the damn loopholes. You know, the ones that make it free to do business offshore?
We really need to pull an assload of troops out of Iraq as our very first DIPLOMATIC move. While we’re doing that we need to start making some goddamn friends in the neighborhood for once.
We don’t need no fucking tax cuts Mr. Obama. Your move may be a shallow populist grab for the great unwashed because your fellow Donkey/steeds are bustin a nut over healthcare, while you and Hills are on the big pharma tit like no other whorse on the grounds.
Or you may be sincere. I don’t care. Bad form. Gamesmanship: Zero.
I’m simply using you as example Mr. Obama, an example of underestimating what we want and what we know is needed. We have whales to fry. Now is no time to make decreasing revenue an empty priority.
I don’t dislike you, so I’m hoping you do better.
By the way, Stewart and Greenspan tonight was a Frazetta painting of two genuine big brained geeks riffing. It rocked my taint.
Drinks for my friends.