Archive for the ‘Obama’ Category

Oh my.

No fierce and fiery delivery today.

It begins with a brief history of race in America. Not at all didactic. It is conversational and sincere. Very real.

He talks about himself. His family and heritage. I am moved.

He is brilliant. He runs at it head on. Brave and with dignity.

He does what he needs to to do and he does relish doing it.

An extraordinarily courageous piece of work. We’ll most likely watch it for decades.

David Gergen called it the best speech of the campaign.

He speaks of Reverend Wright as being not part of the big picture and he’s right. The man is not perfect. He disagrees with him. He tells us that he knows far more of the man than those endless fifteen second soundbites.

Five goddamn days of this shite.

It’s magnificently ridiculous. What exactly are you people doing? The American media is an embarrassing stain. Let it go you fucking fucks. Stop. Knock it the fuck off. What Geraldine Ferraro said is far worse than anything this guy had to say.

Most of what I’ve heard him say is ugly but true. You guys scared of ugly but true?

Look at me. It’s not like Reverend Wright is lying. We are ruled by rich white people who don’t give a mad fuck about anyone else. Most black people know this. White people need to wake and smell the goddamn flesh burning.

He talks about his church, the noise and the peace. The flaws.

He points out that this man married he and his wife, and baptized his two children. He has no intention of walking away from the man and we should all put his remarks in the context of the life he’s lived as opposed to our own experience. Reverend Wright lived a life of humiliation, doubt and fear. Of anger and bitterness. The agony of generations of defeat.

He tells us that we cannot hope to walk a mile in this man’s shoes.

He points out the dangers of both black and white dogma.

His message is honest. It is eloquent.

He speaks the truth. It’s beauty is simple

I cannot tell you. Perhaps you should watch it.

Forgive me, still figuring out the links thing. Cut and paste bitches.

Drinks for my friends.

Fuck me. The sheer indignance for her to suggest she’s being persecuted for her remarks because she’s white is astounding.

“Racism works in two different directions. I really think they’re attacking me because I’m white. How’s that?” -Geraldine Ferraro

You have got be fucking kidding me.

They’re attacking you because you’re a stupid bitch.

Geraldine Ferraro has without reservation or mitigation stepped into a flaming pile of shit. World Class Stupid. To not apologize or even attempt to show remorse for the way her words have even been percieved, is really fucking dumb. Barack Obama is “lucky” to be black, and that he would not be where he is today “if he were a white man” or “a woman.” These words coming from the first ever female candidate for Vice President of the United States.

Irresponsibly incincendiary and egregiously thoughtless. It wasn’t but a few weeks ago that Shrillary attempted to make meat and potatos of Louis Farrakhan’s endorsement of our man Obama. An event that he handled gracefully and with aplomb on live television.

Shame on you Hillary, for allowing this brand of aspersion to glimpse another news cycle without anything but resounding denouncement. After you, without hesitation, condemn tactics by your opponent as being out of the dirty politics of Karl Rove’s playbook not long ago, over criticism of your health care plan.

Baby, you’re starting to really suck. As much as your husband embarrassed you, you have become a desperate humiliation to his legacy. Keep reaching down instead of up and you will find both hands empty as a result of your tragic willingness to squander.

I used to like you. You have become as transparent as a cellophane wrapper over the head of an asphyxiated toddler. That’s pretty rough, I know. What I’m trying to say here is that the blue toddler is a metaphor for hope. Yeah, that smacks of pollyanna. Fucking sue me.

We as a nation are actually responding to hope. It’s gorgeous.

On the other hand, I can’t stand what’s going on here.

We all, regardless of race or gender, have our own issues with race and gender. I’m no fool. I believe the idea is to recognize them and endeavor to change them. Being accountable for your own sets of bias or prejudice should be the beginning of humility.

I guess that doesn’t happen to everybody.

Geraldine Ferraro should go blow Elliot Spitzer.

Drinks for my friends.

So this idiot Republican congressman, Steve King, shows up on local Iowa radio yesterday to talk about how fair it is to make a big deal out of our man Obama’s middle name. Next thing you know, old Jed’s a millionaire. It goes national. CNN’s foulest morsel so far tonight.

Allright, to begin with, this guy’s a fucktardian douchebag. He’s a congressional representative from the fifth district of Iowa. It is among the most Republican voting districts in the country. The Family Research Council adores this prick. He is one very scary white man. By the way, he was unable to pronounce the word ‘Islamist’ on national television.

” DES MOINES, Iowa (AP) — An Iowa Republican congressman said Friday that terrorists would be “dancing in the streets” if Democratic candidate Barack Obama were to win the presidency. Rep. Steve King based his prediction on Obama’s pledge to pull troops out of Iraq, his Kenyan heritage and his middle name, Hussein.

“The radical Islamists, the al-Qaida … would be dancing in the streets in greater numbers than they did on Sept. 11 because they would declare victory in this war on terror,” King said in an interview with the Daily Reporter in Spencer.”

You have got to be fucking kidding me.

Man, I hate these fuckers.

I want to debate this idiot. Somebody tell him that I’ll fly to Iowa and appear live on the radio with him. It’s a fair bet he’s friendly with the penis of Newt. Wikepedia tells me he’s a fan of McCarthy. This is why I want to debate him. It would be like inviting evangelicals or Jehova’s Witnesses into my home after they’ve rung the bell. It’s fair because if you knock, I get to say my piece too.

I have lots to say.

I’m pretty sure I can make this guy cry in front of his friends.

I’m just so offended by every angle of this thing. It’s not newsworthy. It’s relevance is singularly incendiary. And yes, Iowa’s cup runneth over with jackasses. What’s new pussycat?

Forgive me, but sometimes it’s hard to be confronted with facts like these. Facts like these people do exist. Facts like they are the consumate product of fear mongering and as such, they see their duty as to spread that fear.

These facts depress me. These facts discourage me. Ultimately, these facts piss me the fuck off.

So this guy, Steve King, is a human shitsmear. The scariest part is this. He probably believes, with ignorant frightened intensity, everything he spews.

What an asshole.

Drinks for my friends.

He believes the earth is a mere five thousand or so years old. Despite that, he’s a pretty classy whack job. There’s something I like about his wife. She’s not attractive in the traditional sense, but I like how she looks at him as she stands quietly just a little over his shoulder. There is the fact that he’s a musician. I like musicians.

Huckabee.

Obviously, Doubtfire has finally wrested Republican gravity from the worlds most charismatic Southern Baptist. Not so long ago, considerably less than a foregone conclusion. Interesting yet, the voluptuous Red diva has commenced to warble in tune.

Doubtfire, our little Bootlicker, would be king.

He speaks. Terrorism. Duh. I’m screeching. Douchebaggery compels me like the power of Christ. He speaks to honor, when we have lost it. He references a swift conclusion in Iraq, when he’s been quoted suggesting one hundred years may not be too long. He speaks as though a more equitable trade policy in the face of a new world economy is somehow xenophobic. He pledges better access to health care for “some” Americans. Not a bad speech though. I guess. Whatever.

Nope. I don’t really mean that. His audience is laconic. There seems to be an abundance of seniors. When he’s done, we hear Johnny Be Good. Sheeezus. Grand OLD Party you fucking A.

I can’t help but pity him and I’m not entirely comfortable with that.

Hills takes Rhode Island and she’s one for twelve. No offense to it’s fine citizens, but I’ve got hemorrhoids that occupy more real estate. I’ve got one grape of ass that has an actual Super Delegate. Try not to think of me differently.

The evening darkens for our man Obama, although he siezes Vermont. Official brainspank forecast for Ohio goes to Hills at 7:10 pacific standard. It’s a dead fucking heat in Texas.

“I told her, never in hell, no special reason.
Must a lied ’cause I ain’t leavin’.
We’re in for a very long night.” -Van Halen “Romeo Delight”

“Got one foot out the door
Tryin’ to hit the road
Ain’t no match for your mean old man
I think it’s time to roll” -Van Halen “One Foot Out The Door”

I think it’s time to walk away for a bit. I just can’t stand it.

7:59, CNN projects Hills gets the king in Ohio. They’re a little behind.

Not exactly a Phoenix from an ash heap but fuck me in the neck, I’m a little frustrated by the margin.

The talking heads on CNN are lead by Lou Dobbs and I guess I’ve been distracted because this Canadian/NAFTA flap is a bigger conflagration than I knew.

Whatever happens, this has been one speed demon of a of a whiplash of a political contest.

Holy shit, watch the tail on that thing.

She speaks and gloats with grace but I still don’t believe her.

She postures like it’s incumbent on whomever wants to win this contest, they must engage the little Bootlicker. She swings hard to shift the direction and tone of this dialog and the field it’s played on. She seeks to marginalize Obama by engaging Doubtfire.

Nice move Grasshopper.

It’s bold and will resonate. At what frequency, we shall see.

This whole “Yes We Will” sloganeering makes me want to puke. They Borg Obama. They’re assimilating his message. “Yes We Can”. Hopes and dreams etc. Barely a week ago she mocked his optimism.

This tactic gives me pause because it’s working. The Clintons are infamous for packing switchblades.

If he’s smart he will fire back.

Next, our man Obama speaks in Texas. He orates. He does. He goes right after Doubtfire. This man is so sharp. Pairs him with Hills and then wipes them both from his hands. The world and what will we show them? He turns the microscope back to you and me and reminds us that the world is watching. It is a subtle and profound sentiment folded inside powerful words.

He is literally as good as it gets.

He is why I watch.

His point and message, far above hers. Even when he loses, he somehow doesn’t.

More fun to watch when he loses.

HA!

I kinda don’t care what he or his people said to Canada. Canada isn’t a problem in the scheme of things.

See what I’m saying?

And we wait for Texas.

It’s an archaic process in a state that I sometimes think should secede and be it’s own goddamn country for the sake of us all. Two thirds of delegates awarded based on the popular vote and one third delivered by caucus.

I mean, fer fucks sake. Kinda makes the electoral college look a little less sinister.

I may have to wait for the paper.

Word to Obama. It’s the economy stupid.

I’m out.

Drinks for my friends.

Condoleezza Rice is a Vulcan!

This has nothing to do with the following.

Merely my most recent epiphany. Think she could mind meld with The Horta or do the grip?

Wanna know what I like most about this week so far?

Not much really, it’s been shit, except:

Well, it’s our little Bootlicker. First he fires a missile at Barack about the existence of Al Qaeda in Iraq. Our man swats it down with a yawn, a wink and a grin by pointing out that they certainly had no presence there before we wrongfully invaded.

Duh! Lunch is on us this week. If McCain thinks he’s gonna come out on top on the issue of Iraq with around seventy percent of Americans wanting us the hell out of there………well, I’d like to have his number because I think I’ve got a rusty Ford Pinto he may want to buy.

See, the comedy/irony of it all, is that He intends to do just that.

Buy the rusty Ford Pinto.

He’s running on the war! The Surge! Evil! Brown people!

He’s gonna lose because of that and the economy. He wants to keep those cuts to the wealthy permanent. Sheezus.

This very bitter pill, Doubtfire will wrangle down his gullet with those oversized jowls he’s been developing in anger since high school wrestling. Against Obama, some teeth will likely be the chaser. Poor bastard.

But then, Doubtfire swung hard on Bill Cunningham for ugly and overt histrionics. For mocking and ridiculing our man for the unfortunate coincidence of having the middle name “Hussein”.

McCain said, “My entire campaign I have treated Sen. Obama and Sen. Clinton with respect,” McCain said. “I will continue to do that throughout this campaign.” -Cincinnati Business Courier

Asked whether the use of Obama’s middle name — the same as former Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein — is proper, McCain said: “No, it is not. Any comment that is disparaging of either Senator Clinton or Senator Obama is totally inappropriate.” -Crooks and Liars.

Fuck this guy. If the Bootlicker needs him to win, then the bootlicker is fine with losing. Pretty cool. I like that Doubtfire has no patience with the intolerant. He denounced Robertson and Falwell you know. He called them “agents of intolerance”.

This guy Bill Cunningham, is the epitome of what’s wrong with “broadcast journalism”. He is, one word, a completefuckingidiot. Another word, anachronism. To suggest that Obama’s middle name is somehow even relevant to this Presidential contest and the future of our country, is the worst kind of backward ass, ignorant motherfucking racist and despicable shit I’ve ever seen. Who is this piece of shit? He speaks with the same whack-job vacuous eyes of Zell “spitball” Miller.

Worse than Limbaugh, and don’t you know his big hypocritical ass piled on.

I mean really. You have got to be fucking kidding me.

Kudos and points for the Bootlicker. Incidentally, the reason I’ve given, nay bestowed, the moniker of Bootlicker upon him is his embarrassing and shameless embrace of Dumbya after being mercilessly smeared by Dick-in-Bush and Rove et. al. in two thousand. It was disgraceful. Painful to witness. A maverick indeed.

Well, whatever, he did the right thing the other day and it will cost him. For that, he should be commended. I may go back to calling him sparkplug or maybe even fire hydrant.

Of course, it will further marginalize the neoconservative blowhards on the radio. I wonder if the posse of old white “broadcast journalists” factored that in. For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Toss bags.

Drinks for my friends.

The New York Philharmonic played in North Korea this week. They played An American In Paris, my second favorite by Gershwin, just behind Rhapsody In Blue. How cool. I adore the word Philharmonic. It’s a cool word.

How cool is the whole thing? One of America’s premier orchestras moves an audience in North Korea as much as any band could. Broadcast over the entire country. How fucking cool is that? Sorry. Let’s send the Foo Fighters next. Really. That’s diplomacy. It is how to get shit started.

We, are all the same.

From US News & World Report:

“Still, the Bush administration sought to dampen expectations. The White House Tuesday all but ruled out further cultural exchanges until North Korea reveals all of its nuclear programs. And Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, herself a classically trained pianist, offered a cool assessment recently, saying, “I don’t think we should get carried away with what listening to Dvorak is going to do in North Korea.”

Bitch. Assholes.

This, while Christian Amanpour reports from Pyongyang, touring plants, machines and other disabled nuclear things.

Idiocy, bought and paid for.

You have got be fucking kidding me.

An effort to say something positive, to reach out, arrogantly squandered by our very own Secretary of State, Condoleezza Rice.

It will be interesting to see what Obama has in store for you. At the very least, I’m hoping he parks your ass down the road and across the street.

Drinks for my friends.

Yesterday Shrillary accused Obama of getting all Karl Rove on her ass. Oh really?

Did he set up a campaign funded phone bank to ask the people of Texas and Ohio if they’d still vote for her, despite giving birth to an illegitimate black child?

No.

Rove did that to McCain in two thousand

Did he sit back and allow the swiftboating of spurious lies about her public service?

No.

Rove did that to Kerry in two thousand four.

What he did, was say a few things in a mailer that he’s said to her face. I know, I saw it. In the very last debate. She just seems unable to avoid rising to the occasion as nothing but offensive and shrill. She couldn’t help attempting to land a glove on him by reaching too far beneath herself for a handul of shit on the idea he’s a blatant plagiarist. She was booed for her efforts.

Methinks she doth protest too much.

The Obama campaign answered back:

“But Obama’s campaign isn’t backing down. “Everything in those mailers is completely accurate,” says spokesman Bill Burton. “The facts are that Senator Clinton was a supporter of NAFTA and the China permanent trade treaties until this campaign began. And she herself has said that under the Clinton health care plan, she would consider “going after the wages” of Americans who don’t purchase heath insurance, whether they can afford it or not.” -Fox News

The truth is they are congruent on policy at least ninety percent of the time. Obama comes out on top in the remaining ten percent. He’s more charismatic and a far better orator.

She’s about to lose and she knows it. It is time focus on the dignity and grace you brought at end of the last debate my dear. The high road is your only choice, because you’ll still have a career.

Drinks for my friends.

Once the shouting ended, it was ultimately about a word I loathe somewhat. “Presidential”. If it can be defined as who one can most realistically picture as President of The United States, so be it. Still, it’s meaning is nebulous and very subjective and I think likely to be an intellectually dishonest concept.

He is certainly more selfless in his answers than she is. He simply has more charisma and composure.

Hillary closed very strong with a very poignant sentiment. She did however, stumble into a flaming pile of shit on her flogging of the plagiarism thing. She cancelled out the magnanimity she finished with.

Let me say this. There were certain instances where she did shine. When she said with gravity that we all knew she’d seen some shit. She didn’t suck. I was reminded how smart she is.

If there was an actual victor, it was brainspank endorsee Barack Obama. Despite that, it was remarkably civil and I was generally pleased at the conviviality of it all. Again, the truth is, despite my personal preference, we will be better off by far with either of these two. Things are looking up.

I see no reason for any additional debates at this point.

I want this man as my President. He is smarter than I am. I like that. I deserve that and so do you.

I also have to say, Obama stands a far better chance at handing McCain his ass come November. It’s obvious to me he’s far more formidable in that context than would be Hills, if for no other reason than his voting record on this dumb fucking war. I honestly believe that is something we forget at our peril.

We have no evidence whether Doubtfire is wearing a diaper or not.

Drinks for my friends.

So we learn today that the New York Times will publish a story tomorrow detailing alleged improprieties between Doubtfire and a lobbyist named Vicki Iseman.

I really don’t give a mad fuck whether McCain got his stinger wet or not. I didn’t care whether or not Big Bad Bill did either. It’s just not my business. It’s a serious matter, but a matter between the men in question and their families. It is just not our business. Peroid.

Get the fuck over it. If you care, you’re a loser. This message brought to you by my Council For Common sense and my Life Is Too Short……….See what I’m Saying? Coalition.

If, on the other hand favors were granted, special consideration extended, Minden/Gardenerville, we have a problem. As much as I make fun of the Little Bootlicker and doubt that his stinger has even approached tumescence in at least a decade, I have always believed him to possess a modicum of integrity. I would be happy to know these allegations are false.

Is he friends with Bob Dole?

I’m of the opinion that Doubtfire is essentially a good but profoundly misguided man. Somewhat of a dipshit. Yet still, a man with the courage of his convictions, as ridiculously stupid as they may be. I would be loathe to see this as a defining moment. To have it somehow be the pivot in the most important election in American history. It would inevitably soil the process and somewhat spoil it for me.

Although it says very little, he is the best they’ve got and I’d like to see a fair fight.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Hills has lost her mojo. She is looking more and more like a real estate agent, one I’d be happy to have, as she is an ass kicker. Less and less Presidential. Hard to watch.

They debate tomorrow night. I’ll be there. She’ll be stumbling out to a ninth round and it will be interesting to see what she brings.

She’s short, Obama likes to punch down.

By the way, we’ve proven we can blow a satellite out of orbit. It was doing seventeen thousand miles an hour while the Navy rocket was doing like five thousand. Ten second window.

I could do it. If I could practice on less important satellites for a few years.

Then I learn China has already pulled this off.

Drinks for my friends.

“calls into question the premise of his candidacy”
That motherfucking pisses me off.

I’m a writer, so is Mr. Obama. I lift from my consciousness and my unconciousness. The filter is off. I’m happy to quote someone and give them credit. I cite sources. But the filter is off.

He shared an appreciation with his friend, Massachusetts Governor Deval Patrick, of inspirational quotes by other historic Americans. There were but two commonalities between the speeches. The aforementioned sharing of enthusiasm for phrases that should be of public domain (if they are not already), and the concept that they are not “just words”.

Well, no shit they’re not just words: I have a dream. We hold these truths to be self-evident. That all men are created equal.

They don’t even need quotes.

Plagiarism? Please. He was giving his buddy a wink and a nod at most.

It smacks of desperation and it’s beginning to spoil the taste of Clinton accomplishments past. It’s shrill. Sorry Hills, but yer playin like a bitch.

The latest Bill Clinton “meltdown” was not that at all. It was passion. As simple as a goddamn eye booger is, even after a shower. Sheezus.

He was being heckled by pro lifers at an event and he said, I’m just going to paraphrase here………..I gave you your answer and we disagree, you want to criminalize women and their doctors and we disagree. Then he goes on to defend his record and Hillary’s position with clarity and specifics while simultaneously ripping the dipshit who would heckle Bill Clinton into little of slices bologna on an issue as retard proof as abortion.

Passion.

By the way, the first place I found a link to the Vid was on a very conservative website. Seriously, the site is called Hillbilly white trash. It would be against my religious beliefs to post a link.

The rest of this crap, I gleaned from CNN. I don’t think of them as the end all, but for fucks sake. Slow news day?

I’m sorry children, but if there’s nothing else to do. I mean, if you’re bored, play outside, because your whining and moaning annoy me. It is the last thing we need. It’s bad enough that the Clintons are pissing on Obama’s shoes and and you give oxygen to that at all. Then, you try to sensationalize a passionate and truthful counterpunch at a fucktard heckler by spinning it as a meltdown.

Shame the fuck on you. You dirty bastards are half the goddamn problem. No sack, but a sneaky underhanded temerity for villifying and exaggerating. Days like today, I loathe your shit.

Goddamn media: -1
Goddamn Billary: -1
Obama: 0

Drinks for my friends.

The GOP members of the house had a dilemma today; whether to hold their breath until blue or take their ball and go home. They opted for the latter. The former struck them as bad form. Unseemly. Immature.

See, the Democrats of the same body were pushing to hold the most dubiously qualified Supreme Court nominee in history and replacement for the alarmingly obsequious and chronically full of shit Alberto Gonzales, Harriet Miers, as well as notorious White House crony Josh Bolten, in contempt.

Minority Leader John Boehner said, “We will not stand here and watch this floor be abused for pure political grandstanding at the expense of our national security,”. What a dick. I don’t care how he claims his sir name should be pronounced, looks like BONER to me. BONER became House Minority Leader, replacing DeLay, after that fucktard was indicted.

It didn’t have dick to do with national security.

Miers and Bolten refused to testify before the House Judiciary Committee about the nefarious firing of nine federal prosecutors for not pursuing bullshit voter fuckery against various Democrats. The White House claims executive privilege on their behalf. It is the furthest this brand of smoke & mirror subterfuge has ever been stretched.

White House spokeswoman Dana Perino called the move “a partisan, futile act” that would not be enforced by the Justice Department. -CNN

Full of shit.

The Republicans were whining for the Dems to renew the surveillance bill that allows for immunity from prosecution for the the big telecom plutocrats that illegally cooperated with Dick-in-Bush in the wiretapping of innocent Americans. Yep, Dick-in-Bush don’t want to see them testify because it will conclude with both their corrupt asses being held accountable.

On the spit, maybe.

And therein lies the irony of the rub. The DOJ would be counted on to execute the contempt charges, yet it is the very same bureaucracy at the center of the scandal for the prosecutor firings

This whole thing is unfuckingbelievable.

Man I hate these guys.

Meanwhile, despite the fact that they’ve hated on each other publicly, Guy Smiley endorses Doubtfire while one of the Little Bootlicker’s top advisors, Mark McKinnon, vows to resign if Obama wins the Democratic nomination.

Obama beat Hillary the other day by a vote total of more than McCain actually recieved all night.

She did however, prevail in New Mexico today by a margin so slim her nails still look ok.

Larry Craig stopped dangling today. Yeah, check this. He got a letter today from whatever collection of dipshits appointed to investigate him. Um, The Senate Ethics Committee.

Oh man.

It seems he paid over two hundred thousand dollars in legal fees for soliciting an undercover cop for sex in an airport bathroom with campaign donations. With money that people donated for his re-election. The letter from the committee went on to say they believed he “committed the offense to which you pled guilty” and that “you entered your plea knowingly, voluntarily and intelligently.” -AP

No censure, no call for resignation. Giant spineless vaginas. Check my categories for more on this prick Larry Craig.

What exactly is going on in the Senate? They can’t even publicly decry this piece of shit? Issue a statement saying he’s a jackass and should walk? Under Mr. Harry Reid, the Democrats are goddamn ridiculous.

The republicans are swimming in shit and the wind is blowing it into their pie holes. Right into their faces.

Senate Democrats walk around with mouths wide open in stupidity at the same time.

Drinks for my friends.

Hills has been bracing for heavy weather all day. Well, much longer than that.

Barack Obama.

The Clinton machine fully expected to be holding it’s ass in front of itself by sunset here in the West today.

I know, huh?

What?

The boat of Billary is taking on water.

It’s a big ass boat, she’s begun to toss a few over the rail. Patti Solis Doyle, campaign manager, will be replaced by Mary Tyler Moore. I mean Maggie Williams.

No apologies; no shit, she’s black.

Is it a good idea to have a middle name in the Hillary Rodham Clinton campaign? Oh, and today we hear of the resignation of Deputy Campaign Manager Mike Henry. What of William Jefferson Clinton?

Make no mistake. This is a contemporary dynasty on the ropes. This really is history. Goddamn this is interesting. And compelling and portentous. I hope you people are watching. I hope you’re singing along.

It is nuts. I’m really worried reality TV fucktards will smell how cool this is and start tuning in and voting. Sheezus. With an abruptness so complete it will have it’s own violent sound, The Great Unwashed will stumble to the polls and chaos will be a way of life shortly thereafter and forever.

Sometimes I can’t believe the shit I talk.

Tonight, he’s simultaneously ice blue cool and incendiary. He’s commanding the votes of women, seniors, the youth, rural, suburban, metro and every income demographic. It is amazing. The audacity of hope indeed.

Momentum. Inertia.

Momentum: “force or speed of movement; impetus, as of a physical object or course of events”.

Inertia: “Physics The tendency of a body to resist acceleration; the tendency of a body at rest to remain at rest or of a body in straight line motion to stay in motion in a straight line unless acted on by an outside force.”

Outside force, apparently not factoring in.

He is a human hurricane. Category three and gaining strength.

His speech tonight is in Madison Wisconsin. I made the biggest record of my career in that charming town some twelve or thirteen years ago. I remember thinking how nice everyone was after spending a decade in LA. They were normal and helpful and friendly. I winced when my soon to be rockstar client was rude to almost everyone we came in contact with.

He speaks with grace, humility and power. He owns just exactly where he is.

“Cynicism is a sorry kind of wisdom”, he says. Excellent.

CNN cuts to Doubtfire and I am struck dumb by the contrast.

He says literally nothing, save for threatening that a Democrat will compromise your values, your wallet and your safety. Yawn. Never heard that one before.

The current Republican administration has with brutal and unflinching efficacy, with malice even, harpooned America’s pockets, her pride and the respect and strength she once enjoyed under the global proscenium.

War. War. War. I don’t dislike McCain. He’s had the shit kicked out of him in a way that we simply cannot begin to comprehend. It makes it all the more shameful on his part that he has actually suggested publicly our occupation in Iraq should last a century. For what fuckhead? Oil? If it’s not obsolete by then, the entire world, not to mention the human race, will be facing the end of days.

For a man who’s literally had the shit beaten from him, he is full to bursting with it.

He is right on one thing. It just happens to be a very important thing. Torture. Important, too bad that’s all he’s learned.

His positions and policies on every other vital issue are underthought, intellectually dishonest and bereft of the merest modicum of common sense. Permanent tax cuts for the rich, a war without end……………….

Yes, this man is a dipshit.

Doubtfire, the bootlicker stands not a chance.

The calculus is thus: A man who is in touch versus a man who is out of touch.

Do the math.

Peace.

Drinks for my friends.

Andy Williams looks like shit.

Am I loser because I’m sitting at home on a Sunday night for the second year in a row watching the Grammys? I never used to watch award shows. I was too busy. I was too punk rock! Well, maybe not, but I always found them boring. Have I changed? Am I even less punk rock than when I kinda pretended to be?

Maybe it’s nostalgia. That little ripple when you see someone on TV you’ve been face to face with.

It’s not as good as it was last year but I’m entertained.

That last sentence brought to you by Justin Bateman who I have on MUTE.

Fucking Foo Fighters. Best rock band on the planet today. Orchestra didn’t really work until the band kicked in, then it fucking slayed me. Engineering nightmare.

Nirvana? I was absolutely a fan. But I’m more grateful to that band for Dave Grohl than anything else. Fucking Foo Fighters.

Who the fuck is Brad Paisly? His tone sucks. Pretty good picker though. His tone gets better. It’s a dumb country song well played.

Did you see the thighs on Beyonce? Sheezus. Very unclean thoughts.

Take your fucking glasses off Kanye. Then he rambles self indulgently and more than a little pompously while invoking his mother. How old is this guy? He needs to back up and count to ten. Humility goes a long way on TV.

What’s this Aretha-God shit? Took the engineer a good eight bars to figure out the horns. After that it was pretty cool. Great drummer. Excellent band. Then Aretha comes back out in a tent and I’m wondering was this God shit her idea? Great choir.

Commercial. ‘Scuse me while I piss the sky.

Feist? Horns sounded a little loose.

Kid Rock. Nice try. Had to step out for a smoke.

Fucking Foo Fighters. Best rock record. Ha bitches!

I don’t understand the appeal of lizards dancing with a hot black chick to “Thriller”.

Stevie Wonder has won twenty five fucking grammys?

I want to possess Alicia Keys. John Mayer shows up to play and sing and they tear it the fuck up.

Country award. Time for a smoke.

Herbie Hancock with some asian cat playing Rhapsody in Blue. Two pianos, no matter how identical cannot be tuned perfectly simpatico. I live for the dissonance. The orchestra rocks. One of my favorite pieces of music.

Jay-Z is cool.

Amy Winehouse is excellent and the band doesn’t fuck around. No leaks. Air tight.

Natalie Cole is gorgeous but they’re here for Doris Day? Natalie Cole is a handsome woman with whom I’ve spent a little face time. Amy gets the trophy. It’s a very cool song. Natalie has a positively regal presence. You know, in person.

Had to slide out for some cat food. Did I miss anything?

Bocelli and Groban are awesome. Amazing. Who is this Groban guy again?

Jerry Lee Lewis is still alive? I know about this guy. He’s a whack job. I’ve read books. One creepy motherfucker. What the hell is Fogerty doing up there? I hate Creedence.

Little Richard can still sing and play like ringing a bell. Fogerty takes a solo and it doesn’t suck. They thought it would though because they didn’t turn him up. I believe Little Richard to be the gayest black man to ever appear on television. Whatever. He still belts.

will.i.am
Very nice job.

I don’t know. Herbie Hancock getting the big one resonates. And then he says “Yes we can”. They turn the fucking music on. You turned it off for Kanye but you can’t give this guy thirty more seconds? After he just acquitted himself like a rockstar on Rhapsody in Blue?

I recently saw Herbie on Bill Maher. He didn’t really belong there. He’s a class act and he belonged on that stage tonight, reading over the cheesy music because he wanted to thank everybody.

Hey Kanye, I’m just pointing it out.

Interesting. Official brainspank endorsee Barack Obama, beat out Jimmy Carter and Hillary Clinton today in some spoken word category. Um, he prevailed in Maine today as well.

Drinks for my friends.

So, Guy Smiley (Romney) tipped the fuck out the door the other day because he’s just smart enough to grasp the math.

Official brainspank.org endorsee Barack Obama, sails towards the setting sun on this unseasonably warm Southern California Saturday. With aplomb, he breezed through all four contests today. He then spoke in Virginia. This occasion, more time was afforded for policy and some specifics, yet still a performance budding and blooming with optimism.

What exactly does it say about where America’s head is at when this man is able to prevail by margins that range from decisive to ass kicking in states like Kansas, Washington, Louisiana and Nebraska while he falls short in California?

Perhaps we are witnessing the emergence of the neoliberal. Quite a few of them might be pissed off rednecks. A lot of them disenfranchised centrist Democrats. How many alienated moderate Republicans? This is intriguing stuff.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Huckabee is yanking McCain’s chain. Huckabee has a sense of humor. McCain does not. He has trouble scratching his own face.

I need a nickname for our man John. I’m open to suggestion if I don’t come up with one by the end of this blog.

Wait! How about Mrs. Doubtfire?

So, the thing about Huckabee is he showed up on Colbert and played air hockey with a puck shaped like Texas ’cause see, Mike think’s he’s gonna take Texas.

Whatever. Really.

Either way, Huckabee will continue to siphon the bible thumpers away from Doubtfire, our little Bootlicker. We see this as a good thing.

And sorry, McCain will be known as Doubtfire and/or the little Bootlicker. You can still comment with your suggestions.

Texas would be a blow to both Doubtfire and Dumbya. Or rather, the hierarchy. The machine that is the hand up the ass of our esteemed chief executive.

The batteries left in that machine are low on juice.

A once shiny machine.

Doubtfire the Bootlicker, sinks his fingers into a lot of pies but can’t get past his first knuckle in any of them. The pressure on him to bend will force him to fold. He will do just that, like a lawn chair, in the general election. Regardless of who he faces. Trust me.

Doubtfire is a Republican and an assload of Republicans hate the little Bootlicker.

Then, nobody’s talking about Dumbya. At all. He is effectively absent penis.

Absent ballsack.

Gonadless.

Where do you think they went? Not the gonads, the batteries.

In many ways, it’s pretty fucking sick. We are now more than ever, a plutocracy. We still subsidize oil companies with our tax dollars despite them being the richest companies in the history of mankind.

Those batteries are becoming Democrats. Those batteries, that money, are blowing kisses at Mrs. Doubtfire while sticking hands up skirts across the aisle with Democrats.

The damage is done. America has been bent over against it’s ignorant will and cornholed. Ass raped. Violated.

The damage is done.

The economy is a house of cards on a pudding foundation. No hiding from it and no excuses; the Republicans have delivered us here. We are hemorrhaging cash in a pointless and stupid war while our economy and infrastructure atrophy from sheer neglect and not near enough protein.

The distance between rich and poor owns more velocity than the melting of our icecaps.

This is the booby prize they offer McCain. The machine is finished. It has taken it’s prize. We are fucked and the machine has consolidated more power and money than God. The Machine that kicked Doubtfire in the teeth in the year two thousand finally offers up the rotting skin of a once ripe fruit and the Little Bootlicker can’t wait to possess it.

He’s a goddamn circus poodle and he’s the best they’ve got.

They don’t care. They possess what they coveted. The little Bootlicker eyes the brass ring but doesn’t understand that the position is for Chief Executive Janitor

You must be fucking kidding me.

Drinks for my friends.

Welcome back my friends to the show that never ends
We’re so glad you could attend, come inside, come inside
There behind a glass stands a real blade of grass
Be careful as you pass, move along, move along

-Emerson, Lake and Palmer “Karn Evil 9”

They focus on McCain, Romney and Huckabee. There’s an imperative to rescue it from being a foregone conclusion. The Great Unwashed can’t be allowed to lose interest.

I see it as an insipid gameshow mentality.

It will be McCain, because Guy Smiley, in his sacred underwear, is full of shit and although Huckabee seems like a nice guy, any sane motherfucker with a low triple digit IQ, residing on this side of common sense, is scared out of his or her mind that a Southern Baptist Minister could be President.

I mean, I know I am. The leader of the the free world believing that the earth is like, six thousand years old? You have got to be fucking kidding me. This guy is getting a shitload of votes in the The South. Somehow, that’s just not funny in this century.

McCain cannot beat either one of the two Democrats. Half his base loathes him and he has no charisma. That of course means, Romney and Huckabee would fare somewhat worse than hot, low note flatulence in a tornado.

Ann Coulter and Rush Limbaugh have both said they’ll vote for Hillary if McCain gets the nod. To them, he’s just not conservative enough.

Oh boy.

The pendulum, it doth swing with velocity. Not only are Ann and Rush obsolete, they will soon run out of air. Fucktards.

McCain stared and glared at Romney over who was more committed to Iraq when over seventy percent of Americans think that it’s just plain stupid.

Conservatives are dumb and now they’re confused.

People who are both mindless and bewildered tend to be dangerous. They scare me.

Outside it’s America.

Goddamn, the Republicans are in trouble.

Anyway.

A far more interesting contest between Barack and Hillary.

I’m so pleased by the very idea that America is choosing between a black man and a woman for the Democratic nomination.

It does speak volumes about the taste in our mouths. For nearly eight years, the only thing on the spoon has been shit. Stupid, mindless, neoconservative shit. Imagine shit with tar and rotting raisins. Oh, and pepper. Not the good kind, but the kind with no flavor and just heat. And to drink? Your choice of bleach or Woolite.

Democrats are not always better, yet this choice makes me smile.

America stands on the verge of electing a much needed Democratic President. The slow and stupid will just have to piss up a rope for at least four years.

Life is beautiful.

I’m pulling for the black guy who’s last name rhymes with Osama. The guy who’s middle name is Hussein.

He is smart. He is willfull. He is change.

I think.

I hope.

Among other glistening trophies, he took Kansas and North Dakota last night. Kansas. Can you say Brown v. The Board of Education? Um, wow. I ask myself, as one must, does this mean these people are more afraid of a white woman than a black man? Or is it evidence of an intellectual honesty in America that we have not seen before?

We’ll see, to behold the latter would be resplendent indeed.

For now, it’s a dead heat between two left minded champions of what is right. This is healthy. The dialog and discourse will be richer and we will all benefit.

The Democratic turnout will carry the general, particularly with a Republican party so divided. Right wing Christians have abandoned the filthy corporate lucre. Hypocrite despising hypocrite. Excellent.

Next time you see a neoconservative dipshit Republican, do him a favor and pluck one of the forks from his mottled ass and give him your change.

Then, hit him in the mouth as hard as you can to celebrate his fall from grace.

Drinks for my friends.

I’m impressed by perfection. Perfection is awesome. Perfection is never enduring, however. Never consistent. Michael Jordan was perfect for a time. So was Stevie Ray Vaughn. Then, there was NASA in the late sixties. They made it to the moon on slide rules.

Yet it never lasts. It’s impossible.

I adore an underdog. I’m enamored of the unlikely.

I’m not emotionally invested in any sporting contest or team. I really can’t muster the enthusiasm. But, I’d been thinking about this Superbowl and the underdog. I found myself with little to do this afternoon, so I tuned in about half way through the first quarter.

Needless to say, it was about as interesting as these things get. I was rewarded with a win by the underdog. Cool. Glad I watched.

The analogy may be a little weak, but I’ll make it anyway. A far more more important contest is playing out in America. With any luck, Barack Obama will face the Republican nominee (most likely McCain) in a contest for titular leader of the free world.

If this comes to pass, it’s possible that the underdog will have already prevailed in the most important battle he faces. He will have bested Hillary Clinton for the Democratic nomination.

I’ve been saying for nearly a year that what America needs is as much change as she can get. I own this. To me, it is a fact. Barack Obama represents the very most change for which we can realistically hope.

There were other contestants that I liked better. But honestly, not by much. I didn’t think this man had a chance, but I’m happy he’s here. I’m happy I was wrong. Very happy.

For what it’s worth, I’m not so full of myself as to estimate what I’m about to say will have anything but the most negligible concussion on The Great Unwashed.

I remain however, undaunted.

The first ever brainspank.org endorsement goes to Barack Obama for President of The United States of America.

I do this because I believe him to be a good man. He is smart and inspired. He talks sense.

I don’t know exactly how tough he is, yet he will need to be the world’s toughest man. I’m not sure how smart he is and he will have to be one of the smartest.

I hope at how principled he is. I can only guess at his strength.

Casting a vote is always hanging your ass in the wind. Because of that, you should always do the best you can. Pay attention. Be informed. Try not to be a jackass and if you are, abstain. If you don’t know shit about a proposition or a bond, for fuck’s sake leave it blank.

Obama is a different matter. You should let your mind go blank and trust me on this one. He is the best shot we’ve got. He is brave and razor sharp. If we can just get him there, he will rattle some cages. At the same time, the world will exhale in relief.

If we end up with McCain, the world will have a simultaneous sphincter pucker on a scale that could result in giant sand storms and possibly some heightened tidal activity.

On top of that, we’ll all be kinda bummed about having an old man in office that is incapable of combing his own hair. I hear he’s pretty grumpy. Imagine what four years will do to this poor bastard. He’ll be in the corner sniffing glue before it’s over.

Nope, we need fresh flesh and our man Obama is young. One thing even the most neoconservative diamond crapping old rich white man can’t deny is his PASSION.

It was a good field this time and for that I’m grateful. Any of them would have been better than any of The
Blackhats.

I want this man to be my President.

I’m serious. I believe what he has shown me so far is who and what he is and like what I see.

Drinks for my friends.

Those of you that have been reading me for awhile, may recall that my take on the last State of The Union was titled “No babies in garbage disposals”. A not so subtle nod towards the populist pablum. Tonight was more of the same.

He still insisted on mispronouncing ‘nuclear’ six or seven times and stubbornly whipped the deceased equine carcass of social security, or “entitlements” in the euphemistic vernacular of the neocons. Fuck that. Social Security is not an entitlement. We pay in when we are young, it pays out when we are old.

More pointless and baseless saber rattling at Iran. Way Too many Democrats hauling asses out of seats for this particular round of applause. Sheezus.

I feel like an eight year old. I was bored and really, I just don’t give a mad fuck what Dumbya has to say anymore. He may still be dangerous, but his irrelavance metastasizes by the hour.

I found more intrinsic entertainment in the shifts of smirk Cheney wore behind Dumbya’s right shoulder. I was amused by the Republican lockstep of standing ovations.

C’mon you pinheads, you’ve got be fucking kidding me.

Perhaps it’s irresponsible and lazy, but to counter the address point by point would be futile and didactic. If you don’t realize how full of shit he is by now, you never will. Like I said, I just don’t care.

On a far more interesting note, Obama collected the endorsement of Senator Ted Kennedy as well as a glowing op-ed in the New York Times yesterday titled “A President Like My Father” written by Caroline Kennedy, daughter of JFK, in case you didn’t know. Now this, is heavy.

The momentum that Obama is gathering is formidable. Although still very early, it is of a brand that could thwart the Clinton Machine. Wow. A certain degree of credit goes to Barack himself. He’s demonstrated a not so simple grace in allowing the Clintons to make themselves look bad. Zen judo. Awesome.

Time to take a walk John. Don’t go too far.

Goddamn Super Tuesday will roar at us I hope.

Drinks for my friends.

60 Minutes has been the best show on network television for a lot longer than I can remember.

My least favorite crew member has always been Scott Pelley. Ever since he clumsily hammered Ahmadinejad when he visited last year, my disdain for him has swollen. He lacks suspension of disbelief. Seems like a dipshit sometimes.

I like that Anderson Cooper has joined. I’m thinking he should be Crew Chief of The Month. Brass rectangle added to the plaque and all.

I miss Ed Bradley. He was the coolest.

I realize that Pelley was probably put up to it by some CBS swine executive for mere schadenfreude. I still loathe him for it. It was dishonest on a global level.

Anyway, Prick JR. parked one tonight with his interview of George Piro. Mr. Piro was our government’s lead interrogator of Saddam Hussein. Absolutely compelling and fascinating. Enough for me to realize I was mouth breathing. What a coup for The Columbia Broadcasting System.

It was excellent TV; that’s all I’m saying.

Now. As you now know, Mr Obama prevailed spectacularly in South Carolina last night. My skirt is lifted by this gust of change.

I said early on that a black man with a last name that rhymes with Osama and a middle name that is Hussein, has virtually no chance of being President of The United States of America. I said that because I believed America to be sicker than she was.

I’m happy to be wrong. Very happy to be wrong.

There is a very tangible possibility that America will soon have it’s first Black President. I’m excited about this because it may just mean that American heads and hearts aren’t where I thought they were. Could it be these dark days were catalyst enough for some general epiphany?

Could this just be the right man for the right time?

I am happy to be wrong.

Let me just say this. We know know that MLK wasn’t perfect and JFK was barely able to maintain orbit. Then there’s Big Bad Bill. Bill was not your run of the mill house afire. I don’t give a mad fuck about that kinda shit.

I am concerned about Barack’s potential for efficacy. I’m not concerned about Hillary’s. She’ll get shit done. I worry about just how and where and what, however.

I digress. I am pleased and excited. Good stuff going on in America and I’m confident it’s indicative of an improving state of mind and over all better mental health.

Every effort has been made to slam our minds shut for the better part of eight years and a great many succumbed. Despite all that, we seem to be waking. Minds seem to be opening.

This man Obama can certainly be the wind to blow piss back into the faces of the complacent, apathetic and ignorant. The greedy and the powerful.

Make no mistake, if America elects this man, the entire world will exhale and relax a little. They will. That’s what I’m talking about.

I can’t know how well he would govern us. But he is smart, wise and confident. I am impressed. He is as real as they get on a stage so elevated.

For what it’s worth, George W. Bush is real too, he’s just really stupid.

Drinks for my friends.

It’s all over but the shouting in South Carolina. Obama has beaten Hillary and Edwards like a pair of baby seals.

He did this by amassing over fifty percent of the vote. The demographic sweep he engineered is beyond impressive. South Carolina is over sixty seven percent white and the home state of John Edwards, who finished a distant third. It was a record turnout.

More than double Hillary’s pot and obviously, more than both Edwards and Hillary combined.

He speaks like a summer thunderstorm. A cloudburst on a sweltering afternoon. Substance and style. Grace and conviction. Thunder and lightning. His admonition of Hillary, subtlety and gravity.

It’s kind of ironic that while I was thinking that even if Obama succeeded at elevating only minorities and the poor, America would be a far better place. It’s ironic, because it was the same moment he segued into passionate discourse about unity and the fractures that exist between us, that either aren’t there or don’t need to be. All of us.

ALL OF US.

I am smiling. Were it not for the breathtaking ineptness, avarice and arrogance of the current administration and the Republican party, America would never grant audience to this first ever contest between a black man and a woman for President of The United States.

Forgive me, but hope doesn’t appear so audacious any more. It’s been a long time coming. We have endured too many years of cruelty and apathy at the hands of Republican rulers. Maybe now, instead of the lesser of two evils, America will choose the better of the best.

Oh boy.

Eighty percent of African Americans in SC voted for Obama. I still really like Edwards, but I fear it may be time for him to walk. Seventy three percent of Democrats who cast a vote tonight, did so against Hillary. This, in one of only three states with a greater than twenty percent population of black voters. Do the math, Obama desperately needs white Democrats on February Five.

Edwards says he’s still got lotsa fight left. We’ll see.

Obama and Edwards? I’d like that a lot.

Bill Bennett, asshat that he is, just compared Obama’s speech to Ronald Reagan. What a fucking retard. It occurs to me that Martin Luther King is a far more appropriate and accurate analog. Or, can you say JFK?

Amy Holmes, conservative whackjob that she is, is hotter than Georgia asphalt. I’d do her. She was on Bill Maher last night and I had an identical thought. Michelle O. has hips and a booty.

Meanwhile, on the darkside, Skeletor sports a giant mudhole in his ass that will be kicked dry by Guy Smiley and John McCain in Florida. Time to start looking for a rock with a vacancy underneath, Mr. Julie Rudyiani. Douchebag.

Up next, Super Tuesday. The road, still long indeed.

Drinks for my friends.

They focus on McCain and Romney and Huckabee. Somehow they need to save it from being a forgone conclusion. Probably just to hold interest.

Idiots.

It will be McCain, because Guy Smiley is full of shit and Huckabee seems like a nice guy but any sane motherfucker between here and common sense is scared out of his or her mind that a Southern Baptist Minister could be President.

I mean, I know I am. The leader of the the free world believing that the earth is like, six thousand years old? You have got to be fucking kidding me. This guy is getting a shitload of votes.

Outside it’s America.

Goddamn, the Republicans are in trouble.

Anyway.

A far more interesting contest between Barack and Hillary.

I’m so pleased by the very idea that America is choosing between a black man and a woman for the Democratic nomination.

It does speak volumes about the taste in our mouths. For nearly eight years, the only thing on the spoon has been shit. Stupid mindless Republican shit. Imagine shit with tar and rotting raisins.

The Democrats not always better but I’m happy to have this choice.

America is about to recieve a much needed Democratic President, so fuck off.

Drinks for my friends.

I just need to talk about a few things here.

First up, this retarded stimulus package Republicans and Democrats alike are toothlessly masticating each other’s genitals over. Six hundred dollars (!) for each of us grossing less than seventy five thousand a year.

You have got to be fucking kidding me.

What they’re hoping is, we’ll go out and blow that magnanimous sum and the economy will just explode and all will be sunshine and rainbows.

You have got to be fucking kidding me.

That’s the plan?

I’m insulted.

Six hundred bucks buys me about three hours in a Vegas titty bar with a couple of clients. Brilliant.

Or, I could score just enough booze and blow to rationalize hiring a hooker, likely succumb to whiskey dick and the subsequent ego deflation that accompanies losing one’s wood and/or never achieving it to begin with.

As a Southern California resident, were I to earmark said funds for more pragmatic utilization, it would mitigate approximately a third of my monthly rent. Less than that of a mortgage note or a month’s payment on a decent car.

Republicans and Democrats have reached out to each other for your benefit and are now offering a medium size self adhering gauze bandage for your middle class ass hemorrhage. The bastards of the beltway are powerful sorry about the diabetes they gave you and would like for you to have a cookie.

I understand the proposal also provides for “business incentives”.

I really hate these guys.

Apparently, while we spend over half a million a minute in Iraq, fiscal conservatives are wringing their sweaty hands over what this may do to the budget deficit.

Thank Jesus someone is watching the foxes play with the hens.

On a profoundly sad note, my favorite little paste eater announced he was leaving the circus today. How sad that the roaring mouse has thrown in the towel. The ONLY one with the courage, integrity and honesty to speak the truth consisitently about where we are and what we must do, is left with no choice but to save his congressional seat so that he may fight again to effect desperately needed change another day. May the powers that exist, forever favor you Mr. Dennis Kucinich. Many of us will miss your valuable contribution to what is obviously the most important political discourse thus far for all of us.

Next. From this blog on January nine:

“The Bill & Hillary machine is awesome, however. What we saw was that impressive apparatus in swift and purposeful motion at the bottom of the ninth in the second game of seven. Very impressive.

Here they come. I told ya.”

And from this blog on January four:

“I’ve alluded to to the Clintonian acumen for brawling. You’re about to see a full frontal and it will most likely get ugly. We’re about to witness how smart she really is. I can’t help but think that if she starts tossing turds, she’ll be courting the dirt nap.

Fascinating to watch Bill’s big brain churning behind his eyes as he stood to her left while she spoke. I found myself waiting for steam to to rocket from every orifice in his head.

She tossed not a single turd.”

It’s true, Bill Clinton, a man whom I celebrate and adore, needs to count to ten. I won’t address this specifically except to to say that policy is what is is germane here. That, and desperation is almost always ugly.

Last but not least, Hillary and McCain won the nod from The New York Times today. The NYT said this about Skeletor, who is fighting for third in Florida:

“The New York paper said it could not endorse Giuliani, describing the city’s former mayor as a “narrow, obsessively secretive, vindictive man” whose “arrogance and bad judgment are breathtaking.”

Ha!

Drinks for my friends.

Chelsea is hot.

I really think so.

“I think I’m turning Japanese, I think I’m turning Japanese, I really think so” – The Vapors.

Anyway.

They did swing hard. Some good stuff. We like a good dustup between mostly like and right minded people.

Obama does very well. He’s taller and tends to throw his punches down. He really is impressive.

Hills takes punches and throws uppercuts like Roberto Duran. She is tough and fascinating.

I do believe Obama’s remarks about Reagan are what they are. His point was that Reagan was a transformative president, no value placed, good or bad.

I think he was alluding to Ronnie being able to so effectively snow so many rednecks and the great unwashed. See, Reagan sucked and he was, in the contemporary tradition of Republican presidents, an absolute out of touch dipshit.

Ronald Reagan was a human hurricane for the have nots. Let me be clear here; Reagan fucking sucked.

Russia was broken on the backs of our middle class and poor. And the rich began to get richer.

Reaganomics. Trickle down. Shut the fuck up. He was an actor, and not a great one by any stretch.

Ok, sorry.

Edwards is a class act. My mother was a delegate in the Nevada caucuses and she was there for Edwards. I agree with her. He is the best of the three. She wasn’t able to make it happen. He got his “butt kicked”.

I would like to see Edwards prevail in South Carolina. A little leveling of the field would be healthy and his is a good voice in this contest. The man has integrity.

To one degree or another, I like them all. It’s not perfect, but we are lucky. This is an excellent group. Intelligent and passionate.

Then there is the big picture. The entertainment value. Not since the last time a diminutive jug eared paste eater waded in (Perot/Kucinich), has the contest for leader of the free world been so compelling.

Sometimes I wax pessimistic and realize that what we have here is the best of a worse case scenario. Our country is so broken. I understand that not one of these three may be capable or even desirous of the profound shift we absolutely need.

America is in a very bad way. Yet, despite which one prevails, it is a long step in the right direction. I really can’t afford to think about whether any one of them can do enough. Probably not.

But you know, small steps?

Drinks for my friends.

Hillary prevails because the women of New Hampshire saw her tear up. Obama carried women in Iowa. He didn’t in New Hampshire.

Who carried the Gays?

Stay with me.

I do wish Edwards had somehow been able to maintain the trifecta. Here, the difference of deep pockets glares at us. Shame on you New Hampshire. He is clearly the best of the three, at least in terms of message.

Ralph Reed is on CNN. What the hell is he doing there? I loathe this bastard. Christian Coalition fucktard. But wait, he just said what I said about Hillary. What should I do with that? Does’t matter, he’s a dickhead.

Ron Paul wrestling with Skeletor for fourth makes me grin like a poor kid with a new bike.

Looks like Richardson will take his ball home. No big loss but a good man.

Record Democratic turnout and Republican voters are actually down. The poor kid with the new bike just got a new bell and a sparkly gold banana seat.

Wolf Blitzer sucks.

Edwards is tired and so is his speech. It is true, righteous even, but tired. No original chords or melodies. Yet still, good populist stuff. Honest. The best message out there. He tells us he’s staying in the fight. That’s good news. He is the best of any of the horses running with the remotest chance of winning.

I’m afraid my favorite little paste eater is unable to hide the fork sticking out of him. Oh well. So much for massive balls and complete honesty. If the upcoming Democratic administration has an intellectual conscience, Kucinich will have a place in it. I’m not holding my breath.

The Associated Press has just forecast Hillary as the winner. There’s lots to be said for inertia. Momentum.

It may be premature, yet as I say this CNN is owning it. I’ve watched enough elections to agree.

Obama speaks. Very well. This guy is good. Really good. This time he actually references MLK. This man, is a goddamn rockstar. Confidence, charisma and composure. Half the reason I watch is to see this guy play.

Blue eyed murder in a sideswipe dress.

Hillary speaks. She has aged before me. She is metered. Measured. Following Obama is a bitch. No pun intended. She’s virtually Stepford after a master orator. She’s kinda plastic. She kinda sucks. Weak finish.

The Bill & Hillary machine is awesome, however. What we saw was that impressive apparatus in swift and purposeful motion at the bottom of the ninth in the second game of seven. Very impressive.

Here they come. I told ya.

The content was significantly more populist in both Democratic speeches.

You aren’t stupid. I know this because you’re here. I’m sure you can imagine me pulling the lever for whatever Democrat rises to the surface of this contest.

And that’s just what I’ll do.

It’s not that the Democrats are so great, although a few are, it’s that the Republicans suck so fucking much. McCain can’t even comb his own hair. Poor bastard. He’s the best they can do? He’s got a hard on for the war for painfully, and I do mean painfully, obvious reasons and I imagine he has some degree of PTS.

Dick-in-Bush snuck up behind and sucker punched him in 2000. When he woke up he was finished and bitter. Who wants this guy on the switch?

Hustler magazine has this regular feature where they render a photo of a female celebrity with a huge cock in her mouth. It’s hysterical. I know some folks over there and I’m going to call and request that they do the biggest blowhard on the planet, Mitt Romney.

Then there’s our man Skeletor. Fuck him.

Forgive me for not being able to take these assholes seriously.

Drinks for my friends.

The New Hampshire debates are nothing if not entertaining.

Really, it got a little ugly between the Democrats, still, they stayed germane to the most important issues. They all did well. It’s an excellent field.

Hillary is starting to swing and we like that. Nothing untoward, she just rolled up her sleeves and demonstrated she was ready.

I missed Kucinich and Biden.

The biggest gaff for me was Richardson’s pounding near the base of his mic to emphasize his sluggish and doddering message about his message about being a governor and a two time cabinet apointee.

This guy is cabinet worthy for sure but he’d suck as President. He’s smart and probably very capable but he’d bore me in a bar.

See what I’m saying?

I wonder if all the sudden Edwards is bucking for assistant manager or maybe just using some camaraderie with Obama to pinata Hillary a little. I like this guy. He was interesting and I’m a sucker for his populist rhetoric.

I’ll be honest, I didn’t watch the Republicans. Saw a clip of Guiliani saying that the difference between his party and the Democrats is Democrats want to raise your taxes and he wants to lower them.

You have got to be fucking kidding me.

We are in an economic cluster fuck of shitstorm proportions and this absolute dickhead wants to talk about tax cuts. I fucking hate this guy. He and Fred Thompson both (who seems to have gone the way of the Do Do, thankfully), are almost invisible when they turn sideways because they’re constructed entirley of paper.

Never mind that what is being talked about is reversing the cuts given to the wealthy over the last seven years, who’ve gotten wealthier by the way, and finding ways to eliminate the government sponsored drain on the middle class, who are sinking by the way.

Then on Fox tonight I see Huckabee and Romney shoulder to shoulder attempting to out obfuscate each other about…………..

Wait for it.

That’s right.

Fucking taxes.

I really hate these guys.

I picture Napoleon Dynamite slapping his head.

The contrast is so acute, it is simultaneously comic and egregious.

I watched it tonight on CNN and again, somebody had travelled forward in time, observed my reactions and then travelled back to put my impressions in the mouths of CNN talking heads.

Frustrating. Anybody hiring?

Drinks for my friends.

September 19, 2007
Today Obama proposed a tax cut and that’s a spectacularly dumb idea.
In all fairness, he did propose some much needed reforms as well as shifts in policy and ideology. He did speak to the widening income gap and therefore, simultaneous atrophy of the middle class and concentration of wealth in America right goddamn now.
But, we’ve got a whole fucking city down south that is now merely a study in compassionless governmental inept broke ass dipshitedness.
And this war is not only shamefully stupid but very expensive. Russia fell because they ran out of money. Russia crawled away from Afghanistan because the coffers were about echo, long since about ring. A radioactive water supply, shit loads of nukes and nuke fuel unaccounted for……………and Putin overtly tightens his grip.
He pretty much fired everybody and took his ball home this week.
By the way, Russia is back.
And this time we’re broke.
Then we have the housing bust, it looked to me more like a soft skull implosion, and the inevitable subprime conflagration. Greenspan maintains he missed that one. I doubt that.
Then there’s the extraordinarily ominous notion that China owns a massive chunk of our asses.
Tax cuts are a really bad idea. Simply because the best we could hope for, were Barack to prevail, is a symbolic cut in taxes to the poor and middle class and no reform at all.
Well, and because it’s a really stupid idea from every other angle as well. The Republicans tried the tax cut tango and by virtue of smoke and mirrors, murder and lasers, fucked every one but the rich.
What we need, is those proposed reforms and re-prioritizing. Repeal the Dick-in-Bush fuckery and close the damn loopholes. You know, the ones that make it free to do business offshore?
We really need to pull an assload of troops out of Iraq as our very first DIPLOMATIC move. While we’re doing that we need to start making some goddamn friends in the neighborhood for once.
We don’t need no fucking tax cuts Mr. Obama. Your move may be a shallow populist grab for the great unwashed because your fellow Donkey/steeds are bustin a nut over healthcare, while you and Hills are on the big pharma tit like no other whorse on the grounds.
Or you may be sincere. I don’t care. Bad form. Gamesmanship: Zero.
I’m simply using you as example Mr. Obama, an example of underestimating what we want and what we know is needed. We have whales to fry. Now is no time to make decreasing revenue an empty priority.
I don’t dislike you, so I’m hoping you do better.
By the way, Stewart and Greenspan tonight was a Frazetta painting of two genuine big brained geeks riffing. It rocked my taint.
Drinks for my friends.