Archive for the ‘Torture’ Category

The Obama administration has decided, with the wind of wisdom and intellectual honesty at it’s back, to prosecute various conspirators participating in the events of 9/11, in open federal court.  In America.  Land of the free.  Home of the brave.  I applaud this without reservation, but with some necessary modicum of concern.

The venue is correct.  After eight years of bullshit, so is the system and it’s location.

Military tribunals are for pussies and those with something to hide.

Worse case scenario results in some, if not all of the handful being tried, receiving reduced sentences or significantly decreased punishment because of their treatment under the auspices of the Dick-in-Bush administration.  Torture.  I’m here to tell you it’s a legitimate concern.  I understand it from every angle. So yeah, really, the only thing that might possibly mitigate the process in any way is the fact that we tortured the fuck out of them.

We did.  Shut up.  We did.

Wouldn’t that suck.

I do believe Eric Holder is a bright guy and has taken these egregious and flagrant circumstances into account.  Despite the obvious malfeasance on the part of the Dick-in-Bush dynasty, he will get his pound of flesh.  He has the facts m’am.  It will be allright, they do know what they do.

For what it’s worth, we’re no longer dealing with boneheads.  It really is different now.

I hesitate to judge, but I imagine they’ve got this figured the fuck out.

Outside the circle, there is every concern that collateral damage will obviously be brought to light and necessarily prosecuted along side.  There is legitimate hand wringing over what open testimony will focus the antiseptic of sunlight upon.  Beyond Khalid Sheikh Mohammed being waterboarded 183 times.  A practice by the way, we tried and executed a number of Japanese for.  A practice by the way, that allowed us to define various Japanese as war criminals for engaging in.  We killed them for it and we did it to one man one hundred and eighty three times and by all accounts, we got all of our information from him before we engaged in it, and nothing but fucking nonsense thereafter.

By “we”, I mean Dick-in-Bush.

By “we”, I mean idiots.  Fucking clueless fucktards.

What happens when everyone who hasn’t been paying attention discovers this glaring fact?  What if there is more that we don’t know and I bet there is?  Oh, snap.  Fuck me.  Fuck us.

This might be good.

I hate America, you see.  I’ll bet you can tell by my t-shirt.  Or maybe because I will tell you to your face that the the very least of my concerns is or are terrorists.  I think toxic waste is a bigger threat for example or the lack of health care.  Anyway.

It is here we discover the consummate fear of the right wing over this decision to present the facts against these men in in open court.  Military tribunals are a notoriously secret affair.  The record for terrorists by the way, is military tribunals or commissions = 3 (three) convictions.  Class C federal courts = 350 (three hundred fifty) convictions.

Do the math.  Orange whip anyone?

Does this look infected to you?

No one on the right or the left legitimately fears our ability to incarcerate these fucks.  We are really good at putting people in jail and keeping them there.  We do so with more of our people per capita than any other country on earth.  These guys are douchebags compared to your average imprisoned gang member.  Give me a break.

All of the right wing hacks, The Human Shitsmear included, fear that the policies of the Dick-in-Bush administration will be on trial as well.  The irony is that these fucks are now promoting a complete lack of faith or trust in our Constitution and system of justice, ideals they spend every other waking moment, breathlessly pontificating on the liberal lack of respect towards, deliberate corruption thereof or willful disregard for.  Now, abruptly, they revoke all faith in a system of beliefs which has served us for more than two hundred and thirty years; a construct of ideals for which they have never failed to accuse any and all who would seek to define them further, to be in blatant and shameful violation of.  They now denounce blatantly, the idea that this very system can serve us at all in the most extreme, important and precious of contexts.  These people are fucking fools.

I know, that’s convoluted but stay with me.

They fear the truth and justice of the American way of getting to the Goddamn bottom of things.  They fear that we’ll all learn more truth than they intended.  They hate that we will discover where they stepped over the line and made matters so much worse.  That Americans will know what the rest of the world already does.  That we prosecuted multiple wars for no real reason and that it was never in the average Americans best interest but only served to enrich already ridiculously wealthy Americans and that our liberties and rights were simultaneously eroded and allowed to atrophy by razing us with empty fear, empty nationalism and overt jingoism.

They did it all on purpose.  The very same thing the Right wing whackjobs would and do accuse the the mild and sensible Left of is what they panic about us discovering they’ve been up to.  Fuck these guys.  Notice Cheney has shut the fuck up?  Where’s his little dog Liz?  They know we’re getting close.

My guess is the goal of our AG Mr. Holder and the Obama administration is to bring these dishonorable methods to light while they debunk their efficaciousness, highlight the inequity, and ultimately demonstrate that torture is a bullshit methodology and beyond unnecessary in convicting these bastards but potentially jeopardizing and tainting it all together nonetheless. 

Pretty ballsy if you ask me but I like it.  I like it a lot.

And guess what?  The first pricks that decided to try and bring the towers down were dealt with in the same way.  By our flawed system of justice that exists for all Americans.  They’re all in American prisons for life.  Duh.  Remember?  Back in the nineties?

May I have extra sauce?

It’s an opportunity for our imperfect but still shining system to glow a little and show the world that the standard we have for our own can still apply to any who would wrong and kill us on our own soil despite where they come from.  It is my hope that the process will reveal a further glimpse into the complicity of our own and perhaps that is what they are most afraid of.  Nevermind the context or the circumstances, our system is beyond adequate in this instance.  It can, when challenged, mete out judicature in a manner that just might reveal as much flaw as it does direction for recompense and justice.  Ultimate and severe as should be the case.

Extra cheese too?

Nothing to worry about.  No matter.  We will see justice served.

If for whatever reason, convictions are not attained, we will still be supplied fairness with an eye opening understanding of the last administration’s transgressions and the compromises we’ve all become victims of.  Either way, justice will be served.  I am prepared for either outcome.  Are you?

I trust our system in this case.  I imagine it just might be a ripe and timely test of it.  I’m hoping it serves us well.  I’m really looking forward to the process of jurisprudence presenting some very difficult questions.  I’m counting on this being very interesting.  If it fails to at least be interesting, I imagine it will have failed us in general.

As an American, it’s all I can ask and no less than I have right to expect.

I’m asking for pickles on the side.

Waitress?

Drinks for my friends.     

More than a little pensive.

The citizens of Iran have a profoundly legitimate beef.  One of the best kind.  Noble and justified.  An obviously rigged election.  Blatant.  Ridiculous.  The turn out was over 120%.  Bullshit is the given.

Tomorrow may inform us of eventual fate.  The Supreme Leader, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei,  deigned to wade in today on the Sabbath, by vehicle of his scheduled sermon.  Just another day of worship.  He was clear:  Those who “take wrong measures which are harmful, they will be held accountable for all violence.” He called President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad “the absolute victor” in last week’s election…..”  -CNN.com

This sucks.

I’m spooked.  The difference between these human events and Tiananmen Square for example, is that despite the Iranian government’s game face and perseverant campaign to control information, this revolution just may be televised.  Forgive my trite.  I’m not here to obviate something so big and ripe.  I fear what happens next.  Both sides are more than aware that the entire world watches.

The chances of a fistfight are always multiplied by an audience.  Always.

The Ayatollah didn’t merely draw a line in the sand.  He came out with serious lumber.  He tells the people of Iran that they are welcome to test his bat.  He tells them it will be ugly.  I’m really afraid of that.  I think it’s quite likely.  Man, I hope not.  Did you know that Iran is arguably the most pro-American country in the entire region?  These people are in trouble and I doubt they will walk away.  There will be blood.  There already has been.

Iranians are not pussies.

Our Man’s facility with it all has been pitch perfect.  He understands that any movement in Iran perceived as being fomented or even endorsed by the US government is a guarantee it will sink under that weight.  The asshat Republicans shouting jingoistic bullshit from the rooftops are posturing with lamentable irresponsibility.  Man I hate these pricks.  No compassion, zero sensibility, reckless abandon in pursuit of grandeur.  Shut the fuck up.

Iran is a modern society.  It has a vibrant and youthful population, progressive by regional standards.  Amazingly, a huge chunk of them don’t hate us.  Really.

My fear is that the Iranian people will suffer for whatever they do tomorrow.  For years.

It is the covert option that most media fails to talk about.  I’m afraid they will be picked off at random, regardless of participation, until, you know, morale improves.  I don’t see tanks but I do see terror.  For years.  They know full well, both sides get it.  Tomorrow is going to be interesting.

See, we’re all just citizens of the world.  After the sun impregnates the horizon and the stars come out, the day is done and we are all the same.  We really are all the same.  I live in a big city so ethnic diversity is but a part of my coat of many colors.  Whether your thing is prayer or the power of positive thinking, it’s time to do a little dance.

Wisdom, safety and support to the people of Iran.

And, um, fuck the Ayatollah.

Drinks for my friends.

“And I’m also proud to carry with me the goodwill of the American people, and a greeting of peace from Muslim communities in my country: Assalaamu alaykum.” -Barack Hussein Obama, President of the United States of America.

Awesome.

Honestly, I teared up.

I am so very proud of my President and my country.  Our Man was amazing today.  He said things no American President has ever said.  And they were all true.  I was transfixed.  Enchanted.  Slack jawed.  I’m grateful I was alone, just in case I drooled.

It’s worth pointing out that in light of the elaborate smear effort to paint him as some sort of extremist Muslim conducted during the Presidential  campaign, his speech in Cairo today was goddamn courageous.  Beyond that, it was an overt in your face to his neoconservative right wing Christian critics. You know, the ones that so desperately want you to believe that we’re in the middle of some war that is ultimately about our God being able to beat up their God.  The ones for whom ridiculous dogma and apocryphal ideology trump compassion, reality and common sense.

“More recently, tension has been fed by colonialism that denied rights and opportunities to many Muslims, and a Cold War in which Muslim-majority countries were too often treated as proxies without regard to their own aspirations. Moreover, the sweeping change brought by modernity and globalization led many Muslims to view the West as hostile to the traditions of Islam.”

“So long as our relationship is defined by our differences, we will empower those who sow hatred rather than peace, those who promote conflict rather than the cooperation that can help all of our people achieve justice and prosperity. And this cycle of suspicion and discord must end.”

Oh man.  That’s the shit right there.

“As the Holy Quran tells us, “Be conscious of God and speak always the truth.  That is what I will try to do today — to speak the truth as best I can, humbled by the task before us, and firm in my belief that the interests we share as human beings are far more powerful than the forces that drive us apart.”

There it is.  We are all just people.  Humans first and foremost.  How breathtakingly refreshing.  How important and authentic.

Obama quoted John Adams: “The United States has in itself no character of enmity against the laws, religion or tranquility of Muslims.”

This notion, so widely held, that America is at war with a religion or an ethnicity or even a geographic region is so very wrongheaded, so perspicaciously misguided, that most Americans, along with too much of the world, have no realistic understanding of just exactly what is happening and why.

It’s understandable, given the litany of lies we’ve been force fed, and our own failure in laziness and apathy to not even bother to investigate for our own edification, the absolute crap the media has foisted upon us so irresponsibly, so relentlessly and for so long.  The failure of journalism in America is mirrored by the doppelganger of breakdown by Americans ourselves, to question what we’re told, to challenge what we are led to believe.  Exactly why we are in this mess.

Willful ignorance.

“The enduring faith of over a billion people is so much bigger than the narrow hatred of a few. Islam is not part of the problem in combating violent extremism — it is an important part of promoting peace.”

As an agnostic,  I am moved  to say Amen.

“Let me also address the issue of Iraq. Unlike Afghanistan, Iraq was a war of choice that provoked strong differences in my country and around the world……….Indeed, we can recall the words of Thomas Jefferson, who said: “I hope that our wisdom will grow with our power, and teach us that the less we use our power, the greater it will be.”

Sheezus.  Wow.  In Cairo, Egypt.  An incredibly bold admission about the abject failure of American policy.  I can’t tell you how impressed I am at this honest confession by Our Man on the world stage.  It’s true, America fucked up by invading Iraq.  We screwed the pooch.  Shame on us.

“And finally, just as America can never tolerate violence by extremists, we must never alter or forget our principles. Nine-eleven was an enormous trauma to our country. The fear and anger that it provoked was understandable, but in some cases, it led us to act contrary to our traditions and our ideals. We are taking concrete actions to change course. I have unequivocally prohibited the use of torture by the United States, and I have ordered the prison at Guantanamo Bay closed by early next year.”

Of course I was aware of these steps by Our Man, but his restating of them beneath and behind the proscenium of a stage in front of the entire world is nothing less than golden.  And again, the admission of just how far this once great country has strayed, is so brave and nakedly honest, that I am at a loss for words.

He recounts these events, these egregious mistakes, because his intention is to put them behind us by reconstructing our integrity and pride with honesty and transparency, whenever and wherever possible.

Then, he swung the mother of all haymakers:

“On the other hand, it is also undeniable that the Palestinian people — Muslims and Christians — have suffered in pursuit of a homeland. For more than 60 years they’ve endured the pain of dislocation. Many wait in refugee camps in the West Bank, Gaza and neighboring lands for a life of peace and security that they have never been able to lead. They endure the daily humiliations — large and small — that come with occupation. So let there be no doubt: The situation for the Palestinian people is intolerable. And America will not turn our backs on the legitimate Palestinian aspiration for dignity, opportunity and a state of their own.”

“It is a sign neither of courage nor power to shoot rockets at sleeping children, or to blow up old women on a bus. That’s not how moral authority is claimed; that’s how it is surrendered.”

“The United States does not accept the legitimacy of continued Israeli settlements.  This construction violates previous agreements and undermines efforts to achieve peace. It is time for these settlements to stop.”

Unbelievable.  Finally.  A sitting American calls Israel on it’s shit.

This is change.  I can’t speak for you, but this is why this man earned my vote.  It is why I didn’t hesitate to hope.  I believed him then.  I believe him now.  I believe in him.  As I write this, I am inspired and awfully proud.

This speech will no doubt be read, remarked upon and lauded for decades.

This guy is so fucking cool.

Drinks for my friends.

If Dick Cheney’s lips part at all, he’s lying.

I’m nurturing a man crush for Senator Carl Levin after he bitch slapped Darth Cheny and his little dog Liz with what I’m certain will be the facts.  You know those classified torture memos Darth and Liz persist ad nauseum in referring to? The ones they say prove torture works and saved hundreds of thousands of lives?

Senator Levin said last night that Darth and his little dog too, are full of shit.

“When former Vice President Cheney said last week that what happened at Abu Ghraib was the work of “a few sadistic prison guards” acting on their own, he bore false witness. And when he said last week there was no link between the techniques used at Abu Ghraib and those approved for use in the CIA’s secret prisons, he again strayed from the truth. The seeds of Abu Ghraib’s rotten fruit were sown by civilians at the highest levels of our government.” -Daily Kos

“Mr. Cheney has also claimed that the release of classified documents would prove his view that the techniques worked. But those classified documents say nothing about numbers of lives saved, nor do the documents connect acquisition of valuable intelligence to the use of the abusive techniques. I hope that the documents are declassified so that people can judge for themselves what is fact and what is fiction. Mr. Cheney has made other false statements. For instance, his claim that the techniques used on detainees were the “same exact procedures” used on our own people in the SERE training regime. That could not be farther from the truth.” -Daily Kos

Booya!

Bear in mind that Levin is no partisan firebrand and certainly not an ideologue.  Level headed, reasonable and very well respected on both sides of aisle, when Carl speaks, people listen and they are inclined to believe him.  In contrast, the Cheneys’s aren’t exactly the picture of sartorial splendor.  Dick is the most accomplished and prolific liar to ever sit at the second highest level of our executive branch.

Man I hate this fucker.

In the post Dick-in-Bush era, Darth Cheney has taken it upon himself, with earnestness, to incite and maintain the market for debate over all egregious actions and policies of his administration, despite legitimacy, credibility or even relevance.  My guess is that history will judge this man with an earned but graceful combination of malice and impunity.  He is without question evil and black of heart; his legacy will suffer accordingly.  It is my sincere wish that his charred and diseased cardiac will endure long enough to afford him a fulsome mouth full of what he has wrought and the disgrace he deserves.

It’s ironic that we’ve arguably heard more from this prick in the last few months, than his entire reign as puppet master and dark lord.

He got hammered, shot a man in the face, and somehow orchestrated for his victim to apologize for the inconvenience.  Who would even attempt to question his prowess for malignancy and obfuscation?

With such a thorough biography of lies and deceit, what will it take for America to stop listening to this vainglorious asshole?  No amount of pride or shame seems enough to compel him to shut the fuck up and disappear.  Are we a nation of masochists?

Fuck this guy.

I confess to a certain vulgar delight in writing about him.  Such an easy target.  So obviously flawed.  He is nothing if not compelling in a macabre sort of way.  I love to loathe him and perhaps that’s his appeal.  I can only hope it’s that simple.  Whatever the case, I’m certain his post Vice Presidential fifteen minutes do far more harm than good to the causes of conservatism and Republican ideology.  Perhaps he unwittingly performs a profound favor by not yet letting America forget just how much his administration sucked.

Drinks for my friends.

http://www.truthout.org/052209R

Cut & paste.  It’s unbelievable.  It scares me.

Darth Cheney.

I cannot countenance who we are.  I can’t stand what we’ve allowed ourselves to become.  I can’t stomach those who would defend these bastards and the actions they so relentlessly try to sell us as performed on our behalf.  For our safety, they tell us.

This is bullshit.  These are egregious crimes.  These people are lying.  The media pads around it with careful feet on deep pile Berber, giving them their say.  People died in custody of the United States government.  The sickest aspect?  They probably expired whilst we pursued our efforts to extract reason for a war that Darth fucking Cheney knew was complete crap.

Bullshit.

Despite all this, we still have to suffer through the airtime the mainstream media affords this lying, disgusting evil jackass who spent his eight years in office doing his damndest  to pervert, distort and destroy all things that allowed Americans to be proud.

I bet this guy is hung like a gnat.  Had a giant safe in his office.  Kinda the bureaucratic equivalent of a big stupid truck in the ‘burbs.  See what I’m saying?

Look, I’m not naive.  Any American who’s lived with eyes wide open for the past handful of years, understands all too well what the Dick-in-Bush regime has done in our name.  What chaps my ass with such profound cheese grating efficacy, is that this pinhead Cheney, is allowed for a single second to utilize public airwaves in an attempt to mitigate, in such an obvious fashion of puerile necropsy,  policies and actions that have indelibly stained us all. 

Actions and policies, for which he should clearly be behind goddamn bars.

It’s crap.  Elaborate falsehoods.  Complete shite.

The neocons and this dickhead Cheney in particular, are attempting to rewrite history as we let them into our living rooms every evening for such dubious ends.  Man, I hate these guys.  In the words of Reverend  Jeremiah Wright, “Goddamn America”.  Any asshole who even attempts to change the elaborate and true path of human events past, should be muzzled and pelted with rocks and garbage.

“They pelted me with rocks and garbage”.

History is sacred and Cheney will do his best, but his legacy will ooze a vile, stinking sewage.  Not even gulls will go near it.  The EPA will get involved.

Write your local network affiliate, tell them you don’t want to see the vulgar and vile visage of this man or any of his lackeys on your television anymore.  Lying to you and impugning the efforts of the man we elected by an unprecedented majority to right the wrongs his administration and office so recklessly and relentlessly pursued and wrought.

I’m all for free speech.  But not if what you say on our air is an incendiary lie.  It is crying fire in a crowded theater.  At the very least the crawl underneath should go bold and all caps when he lies.  Cheny’s kinda soft spoken so it would be like someone yelling from underneath.  I’ll call Rupert.

We, America, tortured.  We killed people in our charge.  Worse, we killed hundreds of thousands and visited life altering suffering on millions for no good goddamn reason.  I’m ashamed of my country and you should be too.

Who are we?  What have we allowed ourselves to become?

This tumor is us.

This parading of a simple dog and a forlorn pony is contemptible and absurd.  Stand up.  Be an American.  Do not tolerate this man man and his lies.

We are so much better than this.

Tell Rush Limbaugh he can blow me.

I’m trying to tell you something and you should listen.

Drinks for my friends.

Hello,

Fuck this guy.  Cheney is a vacuum of credibility.  A black hole.  He is a liar and a thief.  He and his cronies profited immensely from the war in Iraq by engaging in fraud perpetrated on our own troops and we the people as often as not.  Haliburton and KBR.  You think this guy gives a mad fuck about you?

Yet he deigns to flatter us with his opinions by the hour, or so it seems.  Who exactly does he think he is?  What new arrogance is this?  Dude, you were the Vice President and most of us agree you sucked.  Go away.

The CIA isn’t exactly a pillar of truth, justice and the American way these days.  They, both the CIA and Darth, deliberately “fixed the facts to fit the policy” that led us into one of the most unjust wars in history.  Can you say Downing Street Memos?  Nonexistent yellowcake uranium or mobile bio weapons labs that turned out to be balloon trucks?  The Keystone Cops in color.

This guy gets on TV.

They tortured in fact, to gain and supply reason and rationale for that very war.  With every fiber of my being and every ounce of conviction I can summon, I say fuck these guys.  Furthermore,  I invite Dick Cheney, with zero respect due, to shut the fuck up and go away.

Or, we get to waterboard the prick bastard.  I’ll settle for either and sleep soundly.

Dear Dick, You suck.  Please vanish.  Go gentle into that hot cave.

Fear, fear fear.  This is a mess created by our former arsonist laureate, the Dick-in-Bush administration.  “…if we continue to make decisions within a climate of fear, we will make more mistakes…..” -President Barack Obama.  Cheney calls Our Man’s policies, “recklessness cloaked in righteousness”.  I can’t help but wonder just what Darth Cheney knows about righteousness.

The past administration swore up and down that we did not torture.  Upon that lie of extraordinary magnitude becoming as common as the knowledge that one should avoid using motorized garden shears for personal grooming, they try to convince us that torture kept us safe, was justified and wasn’t really torture but “enhanced interrogation techniques”.  My guess is Cheney’s next career will be in real estate.  You know, bridges, swampland, timeshares in Baghdad, that sort of thing.

Or maybe the latest incarnation of Swamp Thing.

I am in awe that this douchebag Cheney is able to command any attention at all.  Why is anyone even listening to such a notoriously full of shit, black hearted blowhard?  Why?  He’s been wrong about everything, caught in more lies than Baron Munchhausen and he should be in goddamn Leavenworth.

It’s all smoke and mirrors.  It’s all they’ve got.  Fear wrapped in the worn gauze of  some obsolete notion of security.  That’s it kids.  There’s nothing more to see here.  It is exactly as it appears.  Move along please.  Please.

Understand, this man, our President, has more on his plate than you can possibly imagine.  The tasks he faces every morning require superhuman effort, attention and acumen.  Most of what our man struggles with in the shower, the great unwashed are willfully ignorant of.

This guy is inside a cat 4 tornado and he doesn’t need Dick Cheney’s irrelevant shit right now.  If Darth were an actual patriot, he would pull a fade starting now.  Cheney, of all people is intimate with the toxic pile he and that little monkey left behind.

This subject of torture has become far too convoluted.  Too nuanced even.  It’s simple.

Torture is immoral because it is cruel and inhumane.  At the very least it pollutes the soul of anyone who orders it and any who would administer it.    We must understand that these people, these candidates for and of torture, are human beings.  Right or wrong, these people believe what they believe just as fiercely as we do.  Under the last administration, anyone who believed differently than you or Sean Hannity, could literally be tortured for disagreeing, whether they knew shit or not.

Surveilled.  Wire tapped which means computer tapped.  ……..anything you say, can and will be used against you in a court of law……..

Torture is unethical because the result is at best dubious.  With resolute men, the decision about what they are willing to disclose, even when faced with death, has already been made. Count on such men to spew crap when tortured.  It’s useless.  Even the economy of the concept is bankrupt. They think it’s a game of Stratego.

Drinks for my friends.

I talked about it last night but didn’t realize that Senate Democrats had walked away.  Seems they want a specific plan.  As in, where exactly will the money go?  That seems reasonable to me.  $80 million is a lot of cake.

You know, Gitmo.

What baffles me is this:                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    “I can’t make it any more clear,” Reid said. “We will never allow terrorists to be released in the United States.”  Was he quoted out of context?  As far as I know there’s no debate here about what town or city street they’ll be dropped on, they are to be incarcerated.  Harry is a friend of my Mother’s.  I got an inscribed, autographed copy of his book for my birthday.  I’m wondering if he’s getting a little old.  His handwriting describes the drawing of sea monkeys.

What is the deal?  There’s two hundred and forty of them and we already have more people behind bars per capita than any nation on earth.  There’s two hundred and forty and if America has a specialty these days, it’s locking people up.  Specialty?  Industry.  Bring them here, try them like Americans because we still have a system of justice and courts in which they may prevail if they aren’t guilty and are allowed to prove it.

Regardless of the outcome, the truly guilty ones will burn in a Christian hell.  Right?

What scares politicians so much about our justice system functioning as an equitable litmus for these particular “detainees”?

Anyway, it get’s better.

“Republicans are poised with an amendment by James Inhofe of Oklahoma that would block any of the Guantanamo detainees from coming to U.S. soil to stand trial or serve their sentences” -yahoo

Republicans just keep on sweetening  the elixir that will be the lubricant of their demise.  Ha!  Can I make that stick?  I’m way ahead of you.

“Shuttering this facility now could only serve one end: and that is to make Americans less safe than Guantanamo has,” said GOP Leader Mitch McConnell of Kentucky.”  -yahoo

Guantanamo made us safe?  I’d say with the torture and death and all, the hawks would be lucky to slide into obscurity as opposed to jail.  Zero sum for them but a nasty stain on the rest of us.

Mitch McConnell is a scurrilous,  multi-chinned rodent of a Senator.  A nasty, long of tooth and sharp of teeth, a warm blooded, razor incisored dumbshit.  Even his dog hates him.

He warned that if the United States withdrew from Iraq, “the terrorists would come after us where we live.” -1/10/07 CNN

I can actually smell that sentence.

He loathes the idea of campaign finance reform.  He get’s giddy over the NSA listening to whatever and whomever blows their skirt up.  Sans warrant.  He’s very pro Iraq war as a central front for the war on terror.  I love how they accuse us of dangerous political stripes like socialist, when they stand to applaud fascism and nearly shit themselves with glee.

The cherry atop my shit sundae is the reality of scripture superimposed over  dramatic military landscapes as cover pages for top secret war memos to Dumbya.  While we were beating and abusing, torturing to death, people confined and bound.  Dumbya got a report with an inspirational poster for a cover.  I hear he really likes pears and carrots from a jar.  We did this to extract corroborating evidence for what we were about to do and then continue to do in Iraq and everywhere else.  On the off chance there was to be a super secret memo on Sunday, it was wrapped in Easter themed paper.  A candy bar tied in the bow.

Spuriouser and spuriouser.

Dumbya knew there would be pretzels later.  With supervision of course.  Plenty to wash them down with.

Drinks for my friends.

So the titular head of the GOP says, “The era of apologizing for Republican mistakes of the past is now officially over”.

Huh.  You think?  In light of all the malice, avarice and incompetence your party has fomented and been complicit in for the last eight years, you’re no longer accountable?  Not to be asked or even compelled to apologize?

Michael Steele issued this proclamation.  He has giant balls made of flaky, semi solid, foamy stuff.  Premier asstard of the GOP.

Hey Mike, wanna bet?

Mike is a loose lipped cashier.  He’s also an idiot.

Looks like somebody picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.

This dark stain is your legacy.  I’m thinking you guys need to make peace with that.  It’s a blood stain.  You won’t be taken seriously until you do.

It is this exact brand of arrogance that keeps Republican stock in the shitter.  That, and the looming visage of dickheads like Darth Cheney and  the Human Shitsmear.  These two aren’t the only ones tripping over themselves while waltzing  through the GOP’s intestines.  I adore how jacked up they are.

Somebody doesn’t get the difference between consonants and vowels.

Meanwhile and just in time, swine flu rears it’s ugly head again.  Somebody died!  Quick, call Mr. Little, first name Chicken.

In other news, two groups are seeking disbarment of twelve Bush administration lawyers.  Despite a rather overt political posture, their argument is pretty airtight:

“Just as the bar would suspend an attorney who advised a police officer to torture and brutalize a detained immigrant or criminal defendant, the bar must suspend these attorneys for advocating and causing the torture of war detainees,” said Kevin Zeese, a spokesman for the groups. -UPI

Fuckin A, I’m good with that.  All the assholes were named.  Yoo, Ashcroft, Gonzales and Mukasey et al.  Don’t know about you, but I’m getting a half leaner over here.  It won’t amount to shit.

Hi.  I oppose birth control and abortion in the same breath.  I really believe you should get married to experience live dick insertion.  Who am I?  I’m the Catholic Church and I’m okay, I lust all night and I hypocrite all day.  Premarital sex is a sin but ass raping young boys isn’t even outre’…………

When did prisoners become detainees?

John Boehner actually said “our constituents don’t want these terrorists in their neighborhoods”.  He fucking said it.  The subject was Gitmo detainees.  Boehner’s neighborhoods are in Ohio.  How do you say that with a straight face at a press conference in front of cameras?  John Boehner’s neighborhoods in Ohio, are light years from a military prison in Kansas surrounded by a military base.  This whole debate is regoddamndiculous.  Boehner needs to lay off the bronzer.  His eyes are particulary reptilian in contrast with his earnestness to become a lite skinned black man.

Who is this fuck?

Boehner is creepy weird and an astoundingly magnificent dickhead.  He’s so full of shit his caramel orange pallor may just be benefiting from the tremendous output and efficiency yielded by his super human shit producing capability.  It’s all he can do to keep from vomiting actual warm crap while speaking.  Several times a day he burp-pukes and swallows turds back down into his gullet.

Let me tell you how I feel about John Boehner.

This guy is more queer than a pole vaulter in an ice storm.

What the rest of us need to remember, is that are we to march jackbooted in lock step like the Republicans did until the obvious consequence of rot and implosion transpired, events will be eerily similar.

Or, diversity will emerge as strength.  It already has.

Diversity could be the next exclusivity.  Beware.  Don’t laugh, because I’m not kidding and that could be scary.  Ubiquitous caucasian males would be in for a tough time.  Too many of us.

White power!

Drinks for my friends.

Republicans are a hot mess.

This poor bastard, Sgt Russel, and the five brothers in arms he felled. All the families too. A big bag of tragedy for no good reason. Not that all involved weren’t brave committed men who’d sacrificed for America more than we can comprehend. All the more sad.

It’s just that it didn’t have to happen. A man on his third tour of hell lost his shit. It seems so random but it’s not. He was in treatment for “stress”. These guys are fucking tough. They are crackerfuckingjack. They tipped Iraq over in weeks. Lots of things are very wrong with this story.

A badass soldier whom I presume was sane before he arrived, killed his own, not just his own, but his fellow soldiers. The antithesis of anything like heroic bravery. Almost as curious as it is tragic. PTSD. A political potato of some heat. Inconsistent to nebulous in terms of definition or perception. Through the roof nonetheless. Our veterans are struggling on a scale we’re not even aware of.

This is a gift from the Bush administration that will keep on giving for years to come.

Just like Vietnam!

The dude does not abide and neither do I. This is insane. See what I’m saying?

I really need for you dear reader, to concentrate here. I’m going to cut and paste a news item from today below, and I want you to compare and contrast the news I’ve written about above with this actual piece that appears below inside quotes. All I will say is that I think the two issues at hand are symbiotically entwined:

“In an interview on Fox News, the daughter of Vice President Dick Cheney sharply criticized the new administration for agreeing to release photographs depicting alleged abuses at U.S. prisons in Iraq and Afghanistan during the Bush administration.

“I think it is really appalling that the administration is taking this step,” she said in the interview. “Clearly what they are doing is releasing images that show American military men and woman in a very negative light.”

“I have heard from families of service members from families of 9/11 victims this question about when did it become so fashionable for us to side, really, with the terrorists,” she continued. “You know, President Obama has a lot of rhetoric about support for American military families, support for our men and women who are fighting for us overseas. But if he really cares about them, then he wouldn’t be making such an effort to release photos that show them in a negative light.” -CNN

Ok, I can’t help it. Liz Cheney you stupid fucking cunt. What about this whole egregious clusterfuck do you not understand? You actually seek with all gallows composure to spin this tragedy into some lame evidence that the Obama administration attempts “….to side, really, with the terrorists”?

In a war started by your father without reason?

Look up her name and insult her personally. Liz, you ignorant slut. You have betrayed your country and if Olberman or Stewart did the same schtick I swear I just turned on the glass teat.

Time for a fireside interlude. Picture me with a blanket over my legs in a wheelchair beside a crackling hearth:

A tale related by an excellent friend.

This story is about a man named Donald.

Donald farts in the car, back on a sweltering day. Turns out to be a withering expulsion, weakening the senses of the propagator. He’s impressed by his own ability to generate an odor that would be a captain of any industry. So inspirational that he wonders about his own health.

He then ventures into a video emporium of the strip mall variety. He feels the build. Pressure in his lower abdomen. And it’s hot. It’s temperature is like heat from a crack in the Earth. As though his bowels are about to volcano.

The gastrointestinal expulsion is nuclear but not cacophonous.

He’s grateful he’s not shat himself.

Get my drift? More or less silent but indisputably toxic.

He understands the affront he’s just committed. He flees to the right, past the first few letters of the alphabet. He works his way quickly to the D’s and F’s. Doctor Detroit to Fargo.

A fresh couple enter the emporium. They immediately ventiure into a cloud of Donald’s anal vapor in the A through C sectiion. They are apalled and disturbed. Their faces are an ugly mask of assault and disgust.

This is Donald’s story.

Drinks for my friends.

The dipshits are pissed at Wanda Sykes for skewering Limbaugh by hoping his kidneys fail and referencing his drug abuse and calling the Human Shitsmear of all things, a terrorist. The 20th hijacker on 911 even.

That shit’s funny. It’s funny because I don’t take her seriously. No more serious than I take a jackass like Rush Limbaugh. It was about her vicious and inspired disgust with a lying, manipulative, hypocirtical, blowhard entertainer who “entertains” by scaring the great unwashed and giving the GOP bots and hardliners talking points as well as someone to worship.

Not funny, as he’s a disingenuous dickhead. His comfort level with lying is astounding. His composure while doing his level fucking best to support the plutocracy is chilling. I’m impressed. And he’s a goddamn racist. Preeminent ludicrous douchebag spokeshole for the entire graying elaphantine party it seems.

It’s funny, the sheer volume of their lather over this White House Press Dinner as opposed to the one Stephen Colbert did a few years back. Dumbya walked out of that one with cracked ribs, a punctured lung and a broken facade. Colbert was astounding, wielding sack and fruit of steel and various other alloys in a hall full of crazy neocons, crooks, brass, sychophants, sociopaths, serial murderers and the press.

He rocked out with his cock out.

Know what’s not funny? Everything I just said about Rush Limbaugh could be said about Dick Cheney. Plug him into the last four paragraphs. It all still applies. It’s like shifting from third to fourth on a wide empty road.

Know what’s funny? Obama said Cheney was absent due to writing his memoir “How to shoot friends and interrogate people.” -Huffingtonpost

What goes up must come down. What’s not funny, is the embarrassing desperation of almost the entire GOP. The trinity. The Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost. Congress, rednecks and the true American elite. The super rich. The one percent that owns fifty percent of everything. I won’t pretend we don’t have archangels in their architecture, but today’s GOP is odious and insipid.

What they’ve become is my latest favorite expletive, ‘assclowns’.

Maybe it’s some sort of supersecret conservative caper? Some retarded idea of martyrdom, where the perceived leaders of the cause make complete asses of themselves instead of suicide or assassination. They annoy and bewilder everyday with rhetoric that implodes on the pad. They seem hellbent for less than leather. An inch from a legacy that will conclude them to be doddering, greedy and malicious fools.

At this point I could be talking about either Limbaugh or Cheney and that’s somehow not funny.

All the assclowns talked about Obama’s choice in mustard for two fucking days.

The Inspector General’s report from ’05 states:
“Medical personnel at the detention facility protested the use of the waterboard in that form, stressing that “there was no a prior reason to believe that applying the waterboard with the frequency and intensity with which it was used by the psychologist/interrogators was either efficacious or medically safe.”

Dick has been lying his ass off to you for over eight years. Darth Cheney is a sociopath and he thinks you’re stupid.

All the Republicans have left is a horse named National Security to beat and abuse. They’re so goddamn dumb they have no clue what that word means to most of America and the new administration in 2009.

National Security under the Obama administration is a much broader precept. These guys are smart and focused on all things threatening. From climate change, to pandemics, natural disasters, man made disasters, adversaries and allies. It seems we now have frontal lobes. That’s kind of exciting.

Read about it in the latest Rolling Stone.

Know what’s cool? The Space Shuttle rocked off the planet today to make the Hubble Space Telescope about a hundred times better at being a telescope. This, is going to be great. Scientists are cool motherfuckers.

Drinks for my friends.

I’ve heard a cornucopia of justifications. Reasons from ratiocination to mythical fables, about why today is THE day to celebrate pot day. Makes no difference to me. Marijuana never hurt anybody and hemp fiber and oil is the answer to more of our problems than you know.

I visited a dispensary in a past neighborhood today.

This place was barely two blocks from my old apartment. In Koretown. I got a glimpse inside my old window right before we pulled up in front of a bright green door with green balloons whipping in the hot breeze. I didn’t see much, it was fleeting, but the window was dirty and that gave me pause. It was at least a hundred fucking degrees today.

I was with this guy Fred, who is a friend of Evil Lars and works with the institution now. He’s like six four and handsome. We’re in his pick-up and he has an excellent air conditioner. It was a hundred goddamn degrees today. We’re here to replace a terminal that’s gone down. It’s April twentieth, they sell pot and their machine has shat itself.

I lived here during the riots. Two blocks off Vermont and Third. There was lots of shit on fire. Heavily armed personnel in black and the reek of destruction for months after. It freaked me out. I remember convenience stores and liquor stores looking like they puked into the parking lot after being looted. That smell of burnt. The sky was black west to east from Mulholland that day.

I fled to the valley.

I left in a hurry seventeen years ago.

It was cathartic to see it on a hot sunny day today. People on the sidewalks, fruit & vegetable corners. The only thing that’s changed seems to be that it’s healed. It’s bustling.

We walk up after being buzzed in and go up two flights of stairs. There’s a nice palm or fern every six steps or so on the right under the rail. I notice Fred has huge feet and he’s well dressed. His clothes are nice. I have no idea if he’s fashionable or not but he’s very well dressed. Me, I’m a sweaty pale primate.

We’re first greeted at the top of the stairs by a smaller black guy with neck tattoos and a gun. Hindsight tells me I was moving through this place way too fast. I was following Fred and neither of us seem to have a confidence problem. We arrived behind the counters and into the backrooms pretty fast.

Fred moves immediately to do the install and I start asking for Larry, that’s who Lars said to ask for. There are two empty eyed pitbulls that keep smelling my legs. Pale blue eyes that look scared more than anything else. A frightened animal is a dangerous one. I’m telling you this now and thinking I should have been more respectful.

I should have pet the dogs but everything was going well and I didn’t want to touch them.

Fucking hot up there. This place was crazy. Not my first dispensary, but easily the most ghetto. I liked it. I was comfortable there. There was an older woman walking around with a paper cup the size of a shot glass full of water. People buzzing in and out. A small grow operation in the back. A flat screen with at least six different angles of security. I stopped short of looking for myself on the monitor.

Utensils everywhere. I swear I saw a Crouch piece on the desk. Wham. I walked out with two fistfulls of the most aromatic herbinacionous addition to any entree you can picture. Fish, fowl, mammal or mollusk. A flower for any meal.

Ipso Facto, I’m back at my car with two pinecones of earthy. I drive home.

I have the back of Evil Lars.

Happy Holiday.

In other news, the truth is bubbling to the top about America’s role in torture. Regardless of your position, you were lied to on national television by your dipshit retarded President about it. America has tortured. And as The Daily Show so adroitly pointed out, all we can do is be outraged over the secret getting out.

Weak. Fuck me.

I can’t believe these retired, retarded fucking clowns on television trying to mitigate the fact that we torture. We prosecuted the Japanese for waterboarding. Were we more morally advanced back then?

Fuck me in the neck.

Drinks for my friends.

I felt compelled to share this. It really is remarkable.

Steve Schmidt, former campaign manager for John McCain while speaking to Log Cabin Republicans today, had this to say:

“There is a sound conservative argument to be made for same-sex marriage,” Schmidt, who was McCain’s campaign manager, told the group. “I believe conservatives, more than liberals, insist that rights come with responsibilities. No other exercise of one’s liberty comes with greater responsibilities than marriage. In a marriage, two people are completely responsible to and for each other.”

He added: “If you are not willing to accept and faithfully discharge those responsibilities, you shouldn’t enter the state of matrimony, and it doesn’t make a damn bit of difference if you’re straight or gay. It is a responsibility like no other, which can and should make marriage an association between two human beings more fulfilling than any other.” -CNN

Gorgeous. Eloquent, fluent and beautiful.

This kind of thinking and honesty is precisely what the Republican party owes America.

Yep, I said “owes”. Given the damage the Republicans have wrought the last three decades and particularly the last eight years, well, I feel they are beholdin’ to the rest of us.

Mr. Schmidt also had this to say:

“If you put public policy issues to a religious test, you risk becoming a religious party,” Schmidt declared. “And in a free country, a political party cannot be viable in the long term if it is seen as a sectarian party.” -Huffington Post

Hallelujah! Pun intended. Wow. This is one man who understands what the future of the GOP will look like if it has one. I am impressed. Social issues such as these, as opposed to those of policy, are our biggest divide. To table such concerns, might could be an envelope for allowing vibrant philosophical debate to once again rise to the watermark of legitimate. Without such violent and vigorous clouding and muddying of what is actually an important and vital set of issues, this country stands a real chance of moving forward and so then, does the rest of the planet.

America was never intended to be the world’s police anymore than it was to be the world’s moral arbiter. We’ve become mired and lost in that as a nation and have as consequence, lost our way on the world stage. It is exactly because of this that we are estimated by every other State to be anything from silly to hypocritical to lethally wreckless.

Guilty as charged. We are all of those things.

Far too long we’ve neglected tragedies that demand our attention and devoted it instead to situations that were barely our business. A lumbering giant, recklessly careening, who’s size and stature shrinks by the day.

A modicum of humility is therefore in order.

But wait, there’s more:

Hugo Chavez said to Obama today, “Eight years ago I greeted President Bush with this same hand. I’d like to be your friend.” -Fox News

Let the record show it was an interlocking opposable thumb shake. A ‘bro’ shake. I like this guy Chavez, he called Dumbya “The Devil”.

On Cuba, Obama said:

“decades of mistrust” must be overcome, but noted that he has already loosened restrictions that limited Americans from traveling to visit relatives in Cuba and from sending money to them.

Obama lifted all restrictions Monday on the ability of individuals to visit relatives in Cuba, as well as to send them remittances.

That may be just the beginning. “I am prepared to have my administration engage with the Cuban government on a wide range of issues — from human rights, free speech and democratic reform to drugs, migration and economic issues,” -CNN

This comes a day after Cuban President Raul Castro said he was prepared to discuss “everything, everything, everything” with the United States. -CNN

The neocons will no doubt bristle over this. I anticipate high comedy for my witness. Yet, this is the change we voted for. The one we Americans turned out in overwhelming numbers to endorse. We are beginning to understand that saber rattling is far from our only option. It’s stupid to assume that’s all we have to offer countries in our own hemisphere who pose no military threat to us whatsoever.

We could probably kick Venezuela’s and Cuba’s ass on any Thursday afternoon. That’s not the point.

The same way our opinions about our own citizens must change, so does our thinking about the rest of the world. Our bigotry and bias has led us to this precarious point in human history. America has within her reach, the potential to allow itself and the rest of humanity to progress beyond and above where we find ourselves now. If we can only learn to accept and tolerate a little more ourselves and then, the rest of the world.

See, I’m not here to endorse torture, terror, fascism, dictatorship or anything resembling. I’m trying to tell you that we’ve been going at this assbackwards. Archaic and absurd.

All good change comes from inside. We are all people, humans. We all bleed and suffer. It’s time to abandon the notion that to prevail, other humans must suffer and bleed.

Mr. Steve Schmidt has said and done a wonderful, cognizant thing.

Drinks for my friends.

Title courtesy of Jon Stewart.

Subject: The stimulus bill.

He didn’t invite them to his table, he sought to sit at theirs. He told them what he intended to do and solicited their contributions. He asked them for their ideas. He made concessions. Diluted his ideas with theirs in the spirit of bipartisanship.

Despite such pointed magnanimity, every single Republican in the house walked away. Irresponsible, single minded, tunnel vision afflicted pricks. Shameful and embarrassing. How ridiculous. Yes Virginia, Republicans are not only assholes, but deaf, dumb and blind assholes.

He knows better than they do that he doesn’t need them. They’ve been marginalized by their own actions. They are fools and he understands this better than they do. He didn’t do this to them, they are prisoners of their own device.

He walked straight at them with hands open and they chose instead to piss into the wind. Let the record show they are damp and they stink.

Like soldiers stranded on remote islands with no evidence the war is over.

Punks. Dipshits. The most clueless union of fucktards to ever inhabit our government since they were the most clueless union of fucktards ever in power. Children.

“Why behave in public when you’re living on a playground?” -David Lee Roth

Stay with me.

Are we to expect this sort of partisan obstinance to continue? Did they not get the memo? Do they not understand that they are over? Ignorance does not always prove to be bliss. Led by House Minority Leader John Boehner (Boner), The Repugnicunts marched in jackbooted lockstep. Lemmings. They haven’t even bothered to wet a finger and hoist it. They still think it’s 1992. Chronic insouciance.

Boner quotes:

“This Was a Bipartisan Rejection of a Partisan Bill” Um, what? How can it be a bipartisan rejection when it was a single party exclusively doing the rejection? Spot the retard.

“I’m just a Congressman, so I have no opinions about what the government does. My opinion on waterboarding is classified information.” -WEBCommentary

John Boehner is a clueless dickhead. The poor dumb saps from Ohio got him as substitute teacher after Tom DeLay was forced to walk the plank.

I say slash every concession out of the bill, every unecessary tax cut and let them eat goddamn cake. Our man should take full advantage of the bully pulpit and otherwise let be what will be.

There is no tangible difference between House Republicans like Boner and the CEOs that rode corporate jets to to Washington to beg for money. No different than the megalomaniacal Wall Street captains that took tax payer money for bonuses in an awe inspiring display of ostentatious avarice.

I gotta give it to Claire McCaskill for proposing legislation that would cap salaries for Wall Street execs of firms recieving TARP money at $400k, the same as President of The United States. “These people are idiots. You can’t use taxpayer money to pay out $18-billion in bonuses… What planet are these people on?” -Daily Kos

Couldn’t have said it better myself. How many of the aforementioned would you guess are Republican? I imagine the answer would delight me.

I’m reasonably sure that this style of creep is on the verge of extinction. I’d like to believe that anyway. One thing is certain, they are no longer at the wheel and that is encouraging. Fools. Insidious fools.

If House Republicans are in any way representative of the future of their party, it may be time for them to contemplate the most flattering diorama they can afford in backward ass country fuck museums across our great land. Dinosaurs anyone? Neanderthal. Cro-Magnon at the very least. Reptilian perhaps. Assholes without a doubt.

The diorama itself would have to depict various men and women in obvious sartorial business splendor fellating a variety of other similiarly attired beltway professionals with wheelbarrows of filthy lucre at the ready and nearby. The obligatory backround matte painting would include poor folks suffering from hazardous chemical contamination, non US citizens impoverished and displaced by war and The Constitution being defecated on et al.

Don’t let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya you miserable bastards.

Drinks for my friends.

How do we do this?

Sure, it was a landslide. By popular vote Our Man won by nearly ten million. Seven points separating him from Doubtfire. Look at the map, more blue than I’ve ever seen. America bleeds red, but her map has rarely been more blue. Indiana, North Carolina and Virginia? 364 electoral votes to 163. A thumpin’.

A shit sandwich on a week old hot dog bun with colonies of green and blue spores. No mayo no mustard, no lube whatsoever. The cheese is hard and sweaty. Flies.

In place is the single most imperative mandate I’ve witnessed in my adult life. For change. For hope. America is loud and clear. We’ve been offered this sandwich says She. We say, fuck this shit.

Torture, rendition, spying on our own without a warrant, indefinite incarceration, election fraud, preemptive war and aggression with nothing but bullshit justification, raids on the public coffers, Habeas Corpus rendered null and void, same deal for Posse Comitatus. A Constitution in tatters. It really does go on and on.

Here’s the sobering part. The reckoning.

Almost fifty nine million Americans voted for McCain. That many citizens of this country giving at least a tacit nod of approval by proxy for all this fuckery. Among them are bigots, racists, people with shitloads of money but without soul or conscience. The ignorant and the evil.

The scared.

We are still badly broken. Prop 8 passed in California. Racism and bigotry alive and well in this land of opportunity. How soon we forget. As recently as 1967, marriage between black and white was against the law in sixteen states. For those who would posit that the the law is the law and now constitutional, that we should let it be, succumb and surrender, I say piss up a fucking rope. I say this, because it is wrong.

Bitch slap: In california it was mormons and the minorities turning out for Obama who pushed prop 8 over the goddamn seawall. Narrow and deep irony. It’s a civil rights issue. Shame on you. Mormons are polluted by stupidity and ingnorance. Blacks and Latinos should be ashamed. Bad form. Hypocritical.

America is still profoundly fucked up.

History shows us that almost every worthwhile struggle starts at the bottom of a very steep hill. This one, no different. It will be ugly. Hearts and lives rent asunder along the way.

We’re no longer at the bottom. I can’t say how far we’ve come, but we are about to find out. Fascinating times. The paradigm shifts. Lava begins to rush.

So, how do we do this? Martin Luther King bequeathed upon us the most valuable and sagacious of maxims; consistent, unswerving, intelligent and righteous resistance. Absent violence of any kind.

There’s a remote chance that by asking them the same question over and over, they will realize how stupid the answer is. Don’t forget to tell them that you are a fiscal conservative. Lots of liberals are. They like that shit, they think they believe in it.

Let’s talk about the ‘scared’ shall we? I’ll be brave and guess that’s the common denominator between a third and half of the the almost 59 million. We need to find these frightened folks and get them a better haircut. Shave them if necessary. Treat them nice. Feed them well. Be kind.

Who doesn’t like pancakes with peanut butter?

A complimentary delousing. Free tupperware and sporks. New socks.

There plenty of fights to be had. Most will be easy to pick. For a lot of us however, our job is to engage. Get involved. No need to be confrontational, talk about what you care about. Keep it on the front page.

Forgive me. I’m serious. Waste no time on the dogmatic idealogues. They’re too far gone. Falwell can tell them to eat the children. He could and they would. Ever look into an evangelical’s eyes?

Find those eyes frozen by the headlights. Buy them a taco. Lead them from winter to spring. They’ll be melancholy for the previous season and nostalgic for the Abominable Snowman. Try to present the new season as fresh and hopeful. Point out the flowers and that animals both wild and domestic are fucking like mad.

Who doesn’t like pancakes with peanut butter?

You can see I’m struggling with this. I’m convinced on an intellectual level I’ve nailed it. Up here on the top floor, I own it. Not only makes sense but it’s wise.

Down below, closer to me gulliver, I’m all about making them pay. Evil or just plain stupid, they deserve some amount of consequence. Pricks. Dipshits.

But that’s no good, see?

The hopeless will resent it, the fearful won’t understand and they’ll hold it against us. Be nice to conservatives, at least until you figure them out.

Who doesn’t like pancakes with peanut butter?

Your mission is to figure them out and determine who is worth your time. Coming soon, a national Adopt a Pants Shitting Conservative Day.

Drinks for my friends.

Make that naive.

This race for President is what they call a statistical dead heat. Scary. My mind tells me this is to be expected. Most of the electorate are just beginning to pay attention. This scares me too.

They have almost completely assimilated Our Man’s message of “Change”, even after they made fun of it. It’s not a wafer thin slice of deli meat, not even an RCH short, of equal parts creepy and awesome. So depressingly illuminating. Proof that it doesn’t take much too fool some of the people all of the time. Proof that there’s an assload of them.

Same thing they did with patriotism.

I’m having a lazy day so expect nothing above the level of ad hominem, grandiloquent, fucking pomposity.

I gotta tell ya, this shit is ridiculous. Sarah Palin has not strayed from the script by so much as a misplaced pause. They were going to let her play with others on her own starting tommorrow but they understand two things. Not only is she way too short on experience and knowledge of any kind, but there’s enough stupid people in America lusting to hear the same goddamn thing she says every night, word for retarded word, over and over while they languish in their adult diapers.

Bonus, they hang around for Doubtfire.

I’m not here to pretend I’m confused or shocked. I’m thoroughly cognizant of how many mouth breathing, God fearing, dogmatically handicapped there are among us. It feels like the majority.

I’m not here to abandon hope. I’m still convinced our ticket will prevail. It has to. I’m not kidding when I say the future of the human species depends upon it.

Somehow, I retain optimism.

Here’s the deal. Just because they’re stupid doesn’t mean they can’t be manipulated by the forces of good. Proof they are infinitely malleable is the Darkside’s easy exploitation of millions by fear alone. Nothing says they won’t respond to logic and compassion.

It could happen. Regardless of whether it’s possible, it must come to pass. It must be.

What I’m trying to say here at the risk of sounding way too rah rah, is that it’s time for every single one of us to do something. Donate, volunteer, talk to your friends, intimidate your neighbors, staple bumper stickers to the heads of the great unwashed. Have parties. Get hookers and strippers to get other hookers and strippers involved. Recruit. Convince and pummel if necessary. Don’t be afraid to throw hands if they get snide on ya. If they’re like that, it’s a lost cause.

Try to hum the Star Spangled Banner to yourself and be sure to show good posture in administration of your duties as a member of the brighter side of things. Be positive and cheerful. Smile. Show them you care.

We always make the mistake of focusing on the fact that there’s so many idiots out there. Nevermind that it’s sad but true. Understand that if they are engaged in a way that smells good to them, they’ll respond with enthusiasm. Barbecues work and so does booze.

Don’t forget less than savory women and cocaine.

The challenge you face is not winning over the mentally disadvantaged, that which you face is about you and your willingness to see this bud of hope flower. To hold it in your hands as it blooms, feeling it’s soft petals strain against your palms and fingers.

That’s what you can expect if you believe.

I am here tonight to implore you elite and sophisticated pricks to take arms. Coddle, cuddle, convince, cajole, coerce, cudgel and calumniate. Do your best and then your worst. Let them know you’re not here to fuck around. Take charge and blame everyone else if necessary.

GO FORTH

Drinks for my friends.

Ever since the bastard visited the worst kind of yellow journalism on Ahmadinejad last year, I’ve had a black place for him in my mind. I’m no fan of that shit Ahmadinejad, but Pelley’s questions were pregnant with flawed assumption and bullshit jingoism.

I enjoy 60 Minutes. Often brilliant. Yet, Pelley in particular, when reporting on all matters of war and foreign affairs, consistently misses the point. He did it again tonight. He grilled a soldier who’d never seen combat, thrust into the hottest of zones, over his actions and command in Haditha, Iraq after a vehicle in his convoy had been blown sky high and his men had come under fire in an urban enviroment.

Within minutes, his unit had killed twenty four Iraqi civilians.

Within minutes.

It happened that fast, so yeah, mistakes were made.

Pelley plumbed the depths for an explanation of the recklessness and the degree of remorse. Of course, Robert Wuterich was more than sorry, but he said that under the conditions he could not imagine doing anything differently. It was chaos.

Wuterich will face courtmartial for the events of that day.

He said something like he never intended to go murder people in their houses, it’s what happened as he acted according to the way he was trained. He did not intend to be responsible for the deaths of twenty four civilians.

I’m not excusing it or them, I’m just saying it was close to impossible.

Whatever.

It’s all completely beside the point.

Dick-in-Bush are the criminals. Condi and Rummy et. al.

By some estimates, over a million Iraqi civilians have been killed as a result of American military operations in Iraq.

So, somebody please explain what the point could possibly be for prosecuting a soldier for murder under the circumstances they found themselves in. Circumstances our President and his cavalcade of greedy neoconservative douchebags have immersed our soldiers in. Sunk them in, so that many can barely breathe.

This is fucked up. America seeks to prosecute soldiers for a split second decision when they are surrounded by an enemy that is indistinguishable from the populace. A child, a woman or an old man may be pregnant with fifty pounds of exposives under traditional garb.

Congruent to Abu Ghraib, where guards were persecuted and prosecuted for an ethic of permissable torture and degradation that originated and was fomented in the highest corridors of power of the United States military authority.

It’s a goddamn joke. And it makes me want to puke. Engineer the clusterfuck and then hold the actors you cast in the ridiculous play responsible for the words you put in their mouths and the deeds you script in black and white.

Man, I hate these guys.

Where do they hope this sort of precedent will lead? Irresponsible. Unconscionable. Stupid and entirely without accountability or compassion.

They have destroyed everything. The trust and will of the world and the will and trust of the people of this country, undermined and sick.

Thus far, accountability has gone as far as soldiers and guards. That, boys and girls, is really bad news.

Allow me to recommend “The Prosecution of George W. Bush for Murder” by Vincent Bugliosi.

Forgive me, but how many morons are holding out for McCain? Seriously. You people are killing me.

Drinks for my friends.

Remember the next line?

We torture.

Our government knows. Beyond complicit. They actively encourage and participate. This administration is guilty as fuck. These are very bad people.

“…….the Nobel Prize-winning organization Physicians for Human Rights has released a report, called “Broken Laws, Broken Lives,” that puts an appropriately horrifying face on a practice that is so fundamentally evil that it cannot co-exist with the idea of a just and humane society.” -truthout.org

On Thursday of this week, John Yoo and David Addington testified defiantly and with overt disdain on interrogation and torture before a House subcommittee. Addington is former legal counsel to Darth Cheney and his current Chief of Staff. Yoo, formerly of the Justice Department’s Office of Legal Counsel, contributed to the Patriot Act and authored memos advocating torture and the denial of enemy combatants various protections under the Geneva Conventions.

A pair of obstinate punks, mere war criminals, as well as high ranking powerful officials in our cancer ridden Executive and Judicial branches.

What the hell, the Legislative Branch isn’t worth the goddamn butane to set it on fire. Crooked cowards in a cabal of corruption, greed and perverse piety.

” The report profiles 11 detainees who were tortured while in U.S. custody and then released – their lives ruined – without ever having been charged with a crime or told why they were detained. All of the prisoners were men, and all were badly beaten. One was sodomized with a broomstick, the report said, and forced by his interrogators to howl like a dog while a soldier urinated on him. He fainted, the report said, “after a soldier stepped on his genitals.”
-truthout.org

It all took place at Guantanamo Bay, in Afghanistan and Iraq. Dick-in-Bush knew all about it. It’s often been the source of Cheny’s evil smirk whenever America is fortunate enought to have cameras in whatever place he suddenly appears. I fucking hate that guy.

Addington took it upon himself to lecture the committee on the terrorist threat. You really must watch it. He’s a quite the prick. We’ll deal with Yoo on another day. Interesting profile on him in the June Esquire.

“Rep. Jerrold Nadler (D-N.Y.), who later characterized Addington’s attitude as “smug,” asked whether, if the interrogation program was found to be illegal, he would bear any responsibility.

“Is that a moral question or a legal question?” Addington asked, then said he bore no responsibility, legal or moral.

Was President Bush constrained by laws against torture? Addington refused to offer an opinion. Putting the question in extreme terms, Nadler asked Addington if torturing a detainee’s child to get information would be legal.

“I’m not here to render legal advice to your committee,” Addington shot back. “You do have attorneys of your own to give you legal advice.” -Los Angeles Times

Man I hate these fucking guys.

America has lost it’s moral authority. America has lost itself. Those of us with the capacity to at least pay attention, are ashamed. Disgraced. We understand America has inflicted wounds on itself in a cornucopia of ways.

This wound is unique. To be able to say that truthfully is horrible on it’s own, but this wound has been neglected. It may have started out relatively minor on the chart. Now it’s the wrong color, a gaping hole in our gut, discharging the foulest vapor to ever enter one’s head.

There was a time we’d pack the seeping crater with gunpowder or sulfur and cross fingers.

“Perhaps the strangest exchange came at the end of the hearing. Rep. Bill Delahunt (D-Mass.) asked Addington whether waterboarding was discussed in meetings.

“I can’t talk to you,” Addington said. “Al Qaeda may watch these meetings.”

Delahunt replied that he was sure they did. “I’m glad they finally have a chance to see you, Mr. Addington,” Delahunt said. Without missing a beat, Addington answered, “I’m sure you’re pleased.” -Los Angeles Times

After that the Republicans crapped in their hands and threw it at Delahunt for like an hour. Monkeys. Retarded ones that throw like girls.

You know what’s just fucking nuts? Of a scale by quantity of innocent lives lost as a direct result of the American government’s obtuse warmongering since Dumbya ascended, this senseless torture, this damage and ruin to a handful of lives, is but a mote in the eye of a hurricane.

I’m inclined to believe just about anything about us anymore. Any of it could so easily be true. America has lost her identity.

Just how profoundly ridiculous have we become?

Drinks for my friends.

Hills has been bracing for heavy weather all day. Well, much longer than that.

Barack Obama.

The Clinton machine fully expected to be holding it’s ass in front of itself by sunset here in the West today.

I know, huh?

What?

The boat of Billary is taking on water.

It’s a big ass boat, she’s begun to toss a few over the rail. Patti Solis Doyle, campaign manager, will be replaced by Mary Tyler Moore. I mean Maggie Williams.

No apologies; no shit, she’s black.

Is it a good idea to have a middle name in the Hillary Rodham Clinton campaign? Oh, and today we hear of the resignation of Deputy Campaign Manager Mike Henry. What of William Jefferson Clinton?

Make no mistake. This is a contemporary dynasty on the ropes. This really is history. Goddamn this is interesting. And compelling and portentous. I hope you people are watching. I hope you’re singing along.

It is nuts. I’m really worried reality TV fucktards will smell how cool this is and start tuning in and voting. Sheezus. With an abruptness so complete it will have it’s own violent sound, The Great Unwashed will stumble to the polls and chaos will be a way of life shortly thereafter and forever.

Sometimes I can’t believe the shit I talk.

Tonight, he’s simultaneously ice blue cool and incendiary. He’s commanding the votes of women, seniors, the youth, rural, suburban, metro and every income demographic. It is amazing. The audacity of hope indeed.

Momentum. Inertia.

Momentum: “force or speed of movement; impetus, as of a physical object or course of events”.

Inertia: “Physics The tendency of a body to resist acceleration; the tendency of a body at rest to remain at rest or of a body in straight line motion to stay in motion in a straight line unless acted on by an outside force.”

Outside force, apparently not factoring in.

He is a human hurricane. Category three and gaining strength.

His speech tonight is in Madison Wisconsin. I made the biggest record of my career in that charming town some twelve or thirteen years ago. I remember thinking how nice everyone was after spending a decade in LA. They were normal and helpful and friendly. I winced when my soon to be rockstar client was rude to almost everyone we came in contact with.

He speaks with grace, humility and power. He owns just exactly where he is.

“Cynicism is a sorry kind of wisdom”, he says. Excellent.

CNN cuts to Doubtfire and I am struck dumb by the contrast.

He says literally nothing, save for threatening that a Democrat will compromise your values, your wallet and your safety. Yawn. Never heard that one before.

The current Republican administration has with brutal and unflinching efficacy, with malice even, harpooned America’s pockets, her pride and the respect and strength she once enjoyed under the global proscenium.

War. War. War. I don’t dislike McCain. He’s had the shit kicked out of him in a way that we simply cannot begin to comprehend. It makes it all the more shameful on his part that he has actually suggested publicly our occupation in Iraq should last a century. For what fuckhead? Oil? If it’s not obsolete by then, the entire world, not to mention the human race, will be facing the end of days.

For a man who’s literally had the shit beaten from him, he is full to bursting with it.

He is right on one thing. It just happens to be a very important thing. Torture. Important, too bad that’s all he’s learned.

His positions and policies on every other vital issue are underthought, intellectually dishonest and bereft of the merest modicum of common sense. Permanent tax cuts for the rich, a war without end……………….

Yes, this man is a dipshit.

Doubtfire, the bootlicker stands not a chance.

The calculus is thus: A man who is in touch versus a man who is out of touch.

Do the math.

Peace.

Drinks for my friends.

The deal is this:

America tortures people. Americans are complicit in
allowing the torture of innocents to occur. Americans
don’t care.

Could this be true?

It pains me to point out that at least the last
sentence is specifically true.

“America” doesn’t torture, “Americans” are not directly complicit.
Yet it’s true when I say that Americans don’t care.
Sad.

Perhaps just as sad, the rest of the world pretty much
believes the first two sentences to be absolutely
true. And they have a point. Because if Americans
knew what the rest of the civilized world
knows……..

See what I’m saying?

Why don’t we know?

Whatever the reason we don’t know, it won’t let us off the hook, because all three statements are true. Americans are complicit in torture and we really are incapable of giving anything beyond less than a mad fuck.

Sometimes it all seems so hopeless.

A new Attorney General for America was approved by our
Senate last week. It goes without saying that the
shoes this poor sap steps into are filled with all
kinds of rot, foul, fish gore and insect larvae in a mature
and robust decay.

Bear with me, I’m assembling a burger.

Mukasey will need surgery on his stumps before
Dick-in-Bush skip off stage doing the best they can to
avoid looking like they’re being chased.

This man couldn’t speak ill of Waterboarding because
he claimed not to know exactly what it was. How
the fuck does one get nominated for Attorney
General of the United States of America without
knowing what waterboarding is?

He was obviously in laconic opposition to the Constitution about
silly things like privacy et al. as well.

You know, that illegal wire tapping/spying/monitoring stuff?

That comes up tommorrow and Feinstein will probably fold and all the fat telecom conglomerates will be immune from prosecution for spying on us illegally the second that turd leaves the Judiciary and hits the floor.

I digress. Another obsequious fucking meat puppet standing in the
same place Bobby Kennedy once did. Michael Mukasey.

The invertebrates held the gates open. They insured
him an “up or down vote” on the floor of the Senate
where his confirmation was a given.

OUR invertebrates. Schumer, who with righteous
indignation, brought this malleable dickhead to this
rodeo. He and our esteemed liberal from California,
Feinstein, held the gate open into the Senate
judiciary committee. And out.

This after Schumer beat Gertie (Gonzales) like a baby
seal on national TV. What new hypocritical devilry is
this?

We now have no excuse for not knowing. The practice
of “rendition” has been documented everywhere. It’s
been covered by 60 Minutes and CNN. Waterboarding
too.

Gitmo and abu Ghraib and torture. America tortures.
We drown and electrocute. We beat and humiliate.

America is guilty and hands itself a pass with this
asshat Mukasey.

“Who are these men of lust, greed, and glory?
Rip off the masks and let’s see.
But that’s no right – oh no, what’s the story?
There’s you and there’s me” -Supertramp “Crime Of The Century”

What have we become when the political party that has
staked it’s reputation on civil rights and truth and
justice for all, presides over this level of of overt
fuckery so successfully as to make it appear as not
but a covert whisper?

A once prestigious office designed to direct it’s
concern towards the rule of law and order exclusive to
any other ideal has fallen so far in so short a time
into the soil of common fear and manipulation.

Coated with human waste, the office of Attorney General of The
United States of America now paddles in the thick
sewage of executive deception and crime with the only
goal being to save these bastards, Dick-in-Bush, from
prosecution until they are confronted by the onus of
law that says they must go.

Fuck these fucks. Man I hate these fucks. Man.

Ashcroft was really bad news. Breasts on national monuments caused him to sputter and drool. Dancing was evil. He was tragically disturbed.

Gonzales was actually worse. He was truly evil and blind shithouse crazy loyal. Abstained from thinking for his fellow human at age six. Nearly a stereotypical sociopath. Probably a cool hang at a BBQ.

And now, for all intents and purposes, we have
a dickhead like Mukasey clutching a golden ticket
handed to him by our own.

Really good show you fucks.

I doubt I could be more thrilled that we handed you
assholes the majority.

Maybe you should have given Dick-in-Bush another 200
billion for the war at the same time and gone home
early.

Drinks for my friends.

Today Obama proposed a tax cut and that’s a spectacularly dumb idea.
In all fairness, he did propose some much needed reforms as well as shifts in policy and ideology. He did speak to the widening income gap and therefore, simultaneous atrophy of the middle class and concentration of wealth in America right goddamn now.
But, we’ve got a whole fucking city down south that is now merely a study in compassionless governmental inept broke ass dipshitedness.
And this war is not only shamefully stupid but very expensive. Russia fell because they ran out of money. Russia crawled away from Afghanistan because the coffers were about echo, long since about ring. A radioactive water supply, shit loads of nukes and nuke fuel unaccounted for……………and Putin overtly tightens his grip.
He pretty much fired everybody and took his ball home this week.
By the way, Russia is back.
And this time we’re broke.
Then we have the housing bust, it looked to me more like a soft skull implosion, and the inevitable subprime conflagration. Greenspan maintains he missed that one. I doubt that.
Then there’s the extraordinarily ominous notion that China owns a massive chunk of our asses.
Tax cuts are a really bad idea. Simply because the best we could hope for, were Barack to prevail, is a symbolic cut in taxes to the poor and middle class and no reform at all.
Well, and because it’s a really stupid idea from every other angle as well. The Republicans tried the tax cut tango and by virtue of smoke and mirrors, murder and lasers, fucked every one but the rich.
What we need, is those proposed reforms and re-prioritizing. Repeal the Dick-in-Bush fuckery and close the damn loopholes. You know, the ones that make it free to do business offshore?
We really need to pull an assload of troops out of Iraq as our very first DIPLOMATIC move. While we’re doing that we need to start making some goddamn friends in the neighborhood for once.
We don’t need no fucking tax cuts Mr. Obama. Your move may be a shallow populist grab for the great unwashed because your fellow Donkey/steeds are bustin a nut over healthcare, while you and Hills are on the big pharma tit like no other whorse on the grounds.
Or you may be sincere. I don’t care. Bad form. Gamesmanship: Zero.
I’m simply using you as example Mr. Obama, an example of underestimating what we want and what we know is needed. We have whales to fry. Now is no time to make decreasing revenue an empty priority.
I don’t dislike you, so I’m hoping you do better.
By the way, Stewart and Greenspan tonight was a Frazetta painting of two genuine big brained geeks riffing. It rocked my taint.
Drinks for my friends.

Sometimes males behave in a fashion towards the opposite sex that causes me to cringe. We tend to be rude, to objectify and conduct ourselves as compassionless, insensitive and sometimes sociopathic fucktards. I’m regularly embarrassed.

It’s really a wrongheaded, testosterone fueled shame.

And I admit, I’ve been guilty of it.

Women, on the other hand, can be guilty of many of the same things. Often they choose to generalize and view us all as Cro-Magnon beasts, barely tolerable save for our ability to make fire and bring home meat.

Most of the time, it’s not fair.

There are times however, that I don’t blame them.

Now, white men. It’s not the first time I’ve had a reason to pause and feel that sting of shame over something another caucasian has said or done. The last few days however, have been a little beyond discomfiting.

We’re all well aware of the horrors committed by us, white men, throughout history. Vast genocides of indigenous peoples. Bullshit religious crusades. Supression, discrimination, enslavement and exploitation. We suck.

I’m sorry and I’m doing the best I can.

Then, just yesterday, it came to light that in a recent interview, a man I have admired until now, stuck both feet in his mouth in such a way as to make me wince hard. He didn’t stop there. After he’d ignorantly masticated his own feet, he beat himself about the head and neck with what was left of his bleeding stumps.

I’m talking about Joe Biden.

The first time I noticed him, his teeth clenched and he was ready to come over the table at John Ashcroft during one of the very first forays into torture conducted by congress during this war.

Yesterday I heard him say, “I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy … I mean, that’s a storybook, man.”

Articulate, bright and clean?

Oh, man.

Then other things came to the fore. He’s a plagiarist. His remarks about immigrant employees of convenience stores are just despicable. “you cannot go to a 7-Eleven or a Dunkin’ Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent.”

What?

You know, I don’t give a mad fuck what he meant or was trying to say. If he is dumb enough, out of touch enough and ignorant enough to say such things, and he clearly is, then this man has no business representing a single voter in America.

It occurs to me that Joe Biden is a racist.

That sucks. Although I never paid too much attention, I liked what I saw. But I didn’t see this.

Not nearly enough good for the bad, methinks.

Bullshit on that. Drinks for my friends.