Archive for the ‘Michelle Obama’ Category

My father would say ” I don’t understand all I know about that.”

Me too, or me either.

How is it asshats like Boehner and Bachmann, Cantor, Beckerhead, Limbaugh and Hannity can be comfortable in their own skin inveighing against Obama for spending eighteen hours in Copenhagen, lobbying to bring the Olympics to Chicago in 2016?  If he’s successful, it will bring hundreds of thousands of jobs and billions of dollars to the beleaguered city starting the day after next.  They all know this, yet they pretend not too, hoping we won’t know the difference.  Understanding that the people who listen to them exclusively don’t want to know.

Preaching to and preying on the idiots.  How do they sleep?  With a diaper I’m sure.

They understand that’s why he’s doing it.  It’s a chance at a tourniquet and maybe the saviour for an opposable thumb or at least a pinkie toe.

There is no downside for the great unwashed.  As MSNBC pointed out this evening, Dumbya spent the better part of a week on photo ops and ass slapping in China as an embarrassing spectator.  This cartoonery, while embroiled in two worsening wars and seismic rumblings foreboding an impending economic apocalypse.  He spent a third of one of the most disastrous periods in American history on vacation clearing fucking brush on his own stupid ranch.  It was cool, Dick was in charge.  Bush vs. brush for well over a quarter of the entire time.

“Let’s have a non-alcoholic beverage, some chips and watch this here football contest.  Watch I don’t choke and nevermind that daily brief about imminent terrorist attacks.  Hell, I’m the President, have a  real beer.  You like deviled eggs?  Goddamn, I do.  We got whiskey here somewhere.  Sombitch.”

Obama takes a week in the Hamptons and they behave like he’s ignoring Armageddon.

It may have been Michele Obama who said something like, if he walked on water they’d say he can’t swim.  Yup.

You may get away with accusing him of spreading too thin but you can’t accuse him of not working his ass off for us.

I really need to keep this short, I’ve got plenty else going on, but goddamn it’s hard to watch.  As far as I can see, this man is killing himself, working very hard and with beyond ordinate, point blank results.  Iran agrees to let UN inspectors inside in a matter of weeks and publicly states a willingness to entertain outsourcing nuclear fuel enrichment.  That could mean never having enough on hand to build a bomb and never having to say you’re sorry.

That’s just this week.

That’s fucking huge but we complain or worry about his briefest of sojourns in Denmark.

Biden’s got a jacked up lid but I’m fine with him having the conch.  He’s a loose lipped cashier but I trust him.  I own what it is to have an unruly wig and loose lips.

Health care reform is steaming down the mountain and I for one am cautiously optimistic.  On this alone is far further than any President has ever come.  He plays it cagey but he’s too smart to not know what he’s doing.  He may be wrong but don’t think he doesn’t have a plan.

Get the fuck off him you shameless mouthbreathers.

Drinks for my friends.

I kinda like that Obama called Kanye a jackass.  Know why?  Because he is.  I like this side of him.  Obama, not the jackass.

Kinda like how he handled Joe Wilson’s retarded outburst.  Kinda like him sinking an unscripted, non-rehearsed three pointer in front of a 60 Minutes camera crew.  Kinda like his speech about Reverend Wright when everyone anticipated some sorta Mea Culpa.    He’s so fucking cool.

Wouldn’t it be the damn dickens to eavesdrop on the pillow talk between he and the first lady?  You know that would be some funny and revealing shit.  She’s hot.  A long limbed beauty with a booty.  What really informs her sexiness though, is her intelligence and subtle strength.  Michelle Obama possess a certain physical grace, but it is her emotional deftness and intellectually adroit approach, evidenced by the shine of her smile, the shimmer in her eyes and the subtle edge of her tongue.  She comports herself likes she’s been America’s first black First Lady since she was eighteen.  A beauty Queen with a big ass brain.  I adore her.

Were I Obama, I would have chased that until the road ran out too.  His wife speaks volumes about him.  Not so much because he was able to make an honest woman of her, more to do with her allowing herself to be exclusive to him forever.  He was no doubt an impressive man when they met.  A conspicuous education, but the pedigree potential of a hospital administrator or assistant DA maybe.  He wasn’t exactly presidential for reasons obvious and reasons less than.  Feel me?

I doubt that Michelle Obama is a woman who takes any shit, not from her husband and not from anyone else.

I have been impressed with her from day one.  They appear to be a gorgeous family unit.  I believe with all my fibers that we are lucky to have them in the White House.  When she said she was proud of her country for the first time, I understood exactly what she meant.  You bet.  Fuckin’ A.  Me too.  First time in a long time.

I wonder how the average American woman estimates our president’s hotness.  He’s tall and athletic, but he looks a little goofy to me.  That is until he opens his mouth.  The greatest orator of our time.  It’s not just rhythm, cadence and lilt, it’s substance and yes, soaring inspirational rhetoric.  I venture those who would despise him do so because they are confused by his charisma and threatened by his prowess.  A half African American president who embodies the antithesis of their previous stumbling and bumbling champion in every single way.

Smart, where Dumbya was well, dumb.  Articulate where Bush was um, dumb and lacked eloquence altogether.  Lucid as opposed to clueless.  In control and on the case, whereas monkey boy spent a third of his tenure on vacation, pants around his ankles, while Cheney and company did whatever the fuck they wanted.  Before, during and after every national disaster on their watch.  You, know, murder, torture, war profiteering, hurricanes, stage four financial cancer and stealing candy from babies of war veterans.

Humans with compassion and wisdom instead of a carnival of assholes.

Big stupid toast and the sigh of brainrot.  Superman vs. Karl Rove or Max Headroom.

People Magazine vs. National Geographic.

This compare and contrast is exactly why they hate him.

Politics certainly ain’t what it used to be.  I remember disagreeing on policy and issues but this game of vilifying one’s opponent with the powderless ammunition of nothing but perceived or exaggerated moral or ethical imperatives is nonsense.  It’s a cheap and tawdry counter to the people’s best interest.  There exists no legitimate place for it.  Manchildren like Beckerhead, The Human Shitsmear and Hannity propagate it for nothing other than profit.  They have no shame.

Elected officials purvey such less than fine filth without conscience or even a single eye towards consequence.  They don’t give a mad fuck what happens should we not enact  new law dealing with the inequities and egregious avarice of contemporary health care.  These people would oppose anything at any cost to defeat the magic negro, regardless of the total due to their own constituents.  They will, without reservation, break the backs of the same people who elected them, to hand our first progressive half African American President a Waterloo.

Such singleminded, disciplined adherence to demagoguery reminds me of only one modern regime.  Irony is it’s the same one they consistently and ignorantly hurl at any and all who endorse what is best for everyone including them.  It just keeps going round and round.  Where she stops, nobody knows.

It’s wearing me the fuck out.  Conventional wisdom, common sense and the responsible polls, eat me Rassmusen, tell us the majority of America is overwhelmingly in favor of what this administration attempts to advance.  It’s what we voted for.  It’s what we want.  We delivered a voluntary popular mandate.  What happened was, we espoused free will.

So they lie, they obfuscate and they conceal and confound.  And not a goddamn thing gets done because Democrats are almost as filthy and far more spineless.  Obama tells us change must happen from the top down, not the bottom up.  Ketchup little tomato.  We don’t like the way you fight.  Even democrats wonder if you’re a sissy and that’s just  an emasculation proclamation.

I guarantee you a fighting force if you just announce the charge.  What are you waiting for?  Stop fucking around with Republicans and wiping Blue Dog asses and while you’re at it tell Max Baucus to blow me.  Why aren’t you out in front proclaiming the Baucus bill is utter shite?  Why?  Kick this ludicrous circus out of town and get on with it.  You wanna be the next Jimmy Carter, with a majority in both houses?  You have a majority of both citizens and lawmakers.  A mandate entirely different than Dumbya declared.  Your detractors hate and fear you and that will not change no matter what you do.  Let’s go goddamnit.  Time to get on with it.

Let’s do as much damage as we can and not worry about what happens next.  Just like them.  Time for rubber to meet road.

Bring it.

Drinks for my friends.

Fuck that shit.  CHRISTIAN TERRORISM.

Timothy McVeigh was a domestic terrorist.

Whackjobs like Scott Roeder, who assassinated Dr. George Tiller yesterday in his own goddamn church, what should be a sanctuary, do so in the the name of their Christian God.  No surprise here that Roeder was a homophobe as well.  Christian Terrorist, nothing less.

Thank God I’m agnostic.  I crack me up.

“A man named Scott Roeder was convicted in 1996 of criminal use of explosives and sentenced to 24 months probation….” -CNN

Imagine this man was Muslim and he was known to stalk and then kill a Rabbi or a politician.  Think about it.  Really.

Like it or not, George Tiller was engaging in a legally protected activity.  Do these assholes really think these women simply wake up, watch an episode of Maury Povich and decide to seek a late term abortion as a matter of convenience?  I’m not even going to look it up, I’m confident that’s not the case.  Shut up, I will not entertain the issue.

Enter the glowering spectre of egregiously irresponsible “journalists” like Bill O’Reilly.  How much blood on his hands?

“Tiller, O’Reilly likes to say, “destroys fetuses for just about any reason right up until the birth date for $5,000.” He’s guilty of “Nazi stuff,” said O’Reilly on June 8, 2005; a moral equivalent to NAMBLA and al-Qaida, he suggested on March 15, 2006. “This is the kind of stuff happened in Mao’s China, Hitler’s Germany, Stalin’s Soviet Union,” said O’Reilly on Nov. 9, 2006″ -salon.com

As of today, no apologies from O’Reilly.  In it’s stead, Bill the pinhead offers that: “The far left is exploiting the death of [sic] Dr. Tiller to stifle any criticism of abortion.”  Note the euphemism “death of” in the the place of what should rightfully be “assassination”.  As though, “Tiller the Killer” some how expired or succumbed to natural causes.

There is no doubt in my mind that O’Reilly and his ilk are responsible in some degree for so recklessly fomenting the hate and fear for which such tragedies are an inevitable conclusion.  Inevitable, you douchebag.  Time to man up, you penisless reptile.  Do you imagine your useless vitriol to be without consequence?

To quote Snoop: “Fuck Bill O’Reilly.”

Man I hate these guys.

In other news, I’m thinking Sonia Sotomayor has benefitted  from the magic of rhinoplasty.  Good decision methinks.  She used to have a honker like a potato.  Seriously, she’s hot, smart and exotic, at least to me, self confessed trailer trash.  I’m saying that under the right circumstances, I’d hit that.

For the record, my current significant other is very smart and way hotter.

I gotta tell ya, I think Barack taking Michelle out for dinner and a show in New York is unbelievably cool.  He loves his wife and so do I.  Class and glamor.  A little Camelot for us all.  I am only able to muster a mere modicum of amusement at the FOX news talking heads invective over the cost of the outing.  Vainglorious and vituperatively disingenuous valor on part of their talking heads pretending to give a mad fuck over the expense to you, dear reader.  Did they complain, on your behalf, about Dumbya’s record amounts of vacation time to clear brush in Crawford?  I think not.

Assholes.

Man I hate these guys.

Drinks for my friends.

Did you catch Joe The Plumber on Realtime? I’m still in awe. For the sake of posterity at the very least, his name is not Joe and he’s not a plumber. Sam Wurzelbacher is a douchebag. He said things like it’s a “mute” point and Obama is a socialist. He then demonstrated that he, like all the rest of the great unwashed, don’t understand what socialism is. Morals and values he says.

Sheezus.

He’s a cartoon.

I don’t give a mad fuck what the pundits say, Obama acquitted himself with aplomb in Europe this last week and Michelle was the epitome of grace and class. As an American, I am grateful we are no longer suffering the palpable embarrassment of being represented by the Beverly Hillbillies.

Sam Donaldson declared nuclear power safe on Bill Maher tonight. This particular issue doesn’t take a rocket scientist to dissect. The process itself may very well be safe but until we figure out what to do with the goddamn waste, the entire idea is tragically flawed. It’s just that simple. We can’t just bury it in the desert. Fuck me, why doesn’t that come up?

I like the idea of my brain being inserted into a robot vessel until such time as an actual flesh and blood one comes along. I hope that someday soon, twisted but excellent brains like mine can be preserved for the benefit off all living creatures except certain kinds of bugs and religious zealots. I picture it like a VCR slot in the head of a robot. Just get somebody too slide your gooey brain through the little horizontal door……..

Celebrity apprentice update. Joan loses it and The Black Hat is is, um, fascinating. I’m not sure how smart he is but I suspect he’s in possession of some modicum of mental agility. It’s his composure that impresses me. I’m not sure how it happened but now he’s on the chicks team.

So yeah, the dudes ended up with the poker chick and Joan’s daughter. Something like that anyway. Oh wait. The teams are mixed now. The chopper guy is the only one here who’s conducted himself without shame so far. Football guy is less than articulate, naive, but maybe not stupid.

The drama kicks into high gear. Joan is pissed, and The Black Hat is a bit of a prick. Chopper guy and his team seem to be very happy with their effort. They show both projects and they both suck. But, wait. An inspired twist. Perez Hilton is consulted. Let’s watch!

This guy’s hair is ridiculous. His clothes are a nightmare. Some sort of powder blue jacket over a cobalt shirt and tie of the exact same color. And it’s a button down collar. Very high gayness.

I guess owe it to finish this.

Joan loathes Black Hat and so does her ridiculous daughter. They both lose because corporate hates both presentations. The Donald intructs Black Hat and Creep Melissa to bring two people each as he’s going to fire two. Let’s watch!

Trump blows it. What a tool. He fires the woman who volunteers to risk her head on the block for her team because she believes they have all kicked ass. You don’t fire that woman. You keep her. She’s all about team. He then fires another woman over some bullshit moral imperative that has zero to do with the premise of the show.

We’re done. I’ve been played. Cheated by the glass teat. Crap is crap and that was crap.

In other news, boys will be boys, we should all take stock and one man’s something is another man’s something or other.

Drinks for my friends.

So I’m sitting here today in my monkey suit, getting ready to go to the bank to bang out a proposal with the Evil Lance. I’ve been chasing this merchant for months. It’s a comic book shop. His name is Cat.

I was in the middle of reading truthout.org and and the place went quiet. Everything blinked off. The bastards at DWP had cut off my power.

My girlfriend walks out of the bathroom to say “You paid the power bill?”

I break a sweat. This has never happened before.

It’s really ok. I have the money. I was just being stupid frugal and retarded reluctant to pay a bill. Being poor makes you brave. Still, it’s more than a little discomfitting. My first thought is about what a dick I am because I made mad cash this month.

I go to the bank and make a big deposit. Call up DWP and pay the bastards. Call the other department of DWP and give them the confirmation number and they say by five p.m., power restored.

Get me a a couple chili cheese dogs with mayonnaise, mustard and onions. This is why poor folks are fat. I blame society. I cut a check for my rent and drop it off. The manager is this cool guy named Antonio. He smiles and shakes my hand. First time I’ve paid rent on time in months.

I go to my bank, the Evil Lance and his wife, mother in law and daughter are there, along with my significant other, the new guy we will refer to as GQ Todd, the Lovely Linda and the hot new receptionist. Ken, the head fromage is nowhere. The Evil Lance has done my homework for me. I get a folder with the proposal, the original statement and a printout of the ACH statement for money I’m being paid on a previous deal that will hit my account on Monday.

It’s a sweet chunk of change.

I threaten the daughter of the Evil Lance with cannibalism. I tell her to bring me butter and pepper. I demand a giant fork and tell her that her ankles will be chewey. She is gorgeous and I am charmed.

I come home and there’s an ominous yellow notice on the door. Mine heart doth sink. I’ve just figured out how to buy enough gin for the weekend and I felt like I may have fooled the world once again.

I walk into a dark silent apartment. I go on the balcony for a smoke and to read the ominous yellow tag. Turns out I just need to go get my security gaurd buddy to open up the meter room so we can flip the switch. After all, I’m paid up. I, we, do that. He’s the same guy who gives me the stink eye through the peephole when my shit is way too loud.

So yeah, today worked out well.

Then the news from the State Supreme Court of Iowa.

What a swell little gem. In Iowa of all places, we get a State Supreme Court stocked with Republicans to pretty much vociferously defend marriage between anybody who really wants to. The decision respected and actually honored the the concept and spirit of civil rights.

Watershed.

Iowa. The one state in the union where you dare not sell a bong. Wow.

We are changing.

Just look at the world stage today. Barack Hussein Obama and First Lady Michelle. Europe sees Jackie and Jack. They are abroad doing the absolute best they can to represent the rest of us. They are proud because we are or should be. They are humble because Americans have walked face first into humility.

Although I worry, I’m sure the ratio of smart Americans vs. stupid is in our favor. If you had to repeat that sentence to yourself, you’re not one of us.

They begin to repair the damage. The Obama’s show up in front of the people who need and want to see them. They show up at every chance they are afforded to distill themselves and what America is instead of what Europe has seen for the last eight years. Our knuckles don’t drag.

Bill Maher scores an interview with Joe The Plumber. Oh me oh my. See what I’m saying?

Drinks for my friends.

Fuck me.

So there was this piece on CNN tonight about how Michelle Obama has a chance to alter the stereotype of black women as overwieght, loud and ignorant. Guess what footage they used? Eddie Murphy as his fat obnoxious wife, Rasputia, in “Norbit”.

What?

Blackface.

How lame is that?

I share with you that I’ve dated black women and I’m in a relationship with a black woman and how that stereotype isn’t one I even understand, but what I want to know is, how many of you clueless cracker mouth breathers buy this shit?

Did I mention our new First Lady is the epitome of poise and dignity? Crazy smart and in possession of wisdom and composure beyond her years? Our fortune is not merely about the man.

And, she’s hot.

Fuck you CNN.

Goddamnit.

Anyway.

Spike Lee’s “Do The Right Thing”.

A review. An assessment.

An analysis. Bitch. Oooh.

Excellent film.

Prescient.

Mookey, played by Spike Lee, is far from stupid. He chooses the path of least resistance consistently. Willfully ignorant. A pussy. Not a bad guy, but plagued by his own weakness. Lead antagonist in a movie full of them. Angry?

Yep. No legitimate malice. His circumstances are his own.

Sal, Danny Aiello’s character, ultimately plays bitch to his pride instead of his obvious capacity for compassion.

Sal’s internal conflicts shaped as metaphorical characters and played by his two sons. Each is a side of the war inside him. An ugly day in the life. He’s not necessarily a bigot but circumstances keep piling on. Eventually he is presented with a choice and blows it. Instead of doing the right thing, he chooses the wrong thing and chaos blasts through like a tsunami.

Mookey makes a choice at least as pregnant with bad circumstances and events descend into a maelstrom.

What Lee took pains to show us is the difference between doing the right thing and ignoring it. At the onset of the defining conflict, Sal could have merely invited the dipshit antogonist to bring some pictures of black heros for the wall. At the behest of one black customer, but a gesture everyone from the block would have welcomed, regardless of color or ethnicity.

Simple.

It’s a moment that hangs briefly and then rolls from one unfortunate escalation to another. Hard to watch as Lee does his level best to show us how it can happen and how ridiculous it often is. In the end, the Korean grocer plays by example. He tells the angry mob sincerely that he is black, just like them, and they understand. His life and business are not demolished in front of his eyes.

The scene defines the the movie and the message as much as any other. Sal on his corner for decades and the Koreans across the street for less than two years. Reactions dictate fate. Life goes on. Sal loses.

Powerful stuff.

My hero is Ozzie Davis. “The Mayor”. The Mayor embraces humility just after saving a boy’s life by risking his own. He sees what’s coming and does the best he can. The protagonist is Sal. As innocent as a man can be in a morality play such as this. Same as Mookey, until the end of the film where they both fail spectacularly. The antogonist is the neighborhood, the police and racism from every side.

The antogonist is a malaise.

The catalyst is the heat.

It’s a fascinating film that looks like a play. It is a play. I became a Spike Lee fan today.

My girlfriend who just happens to have her ethnicity enhanced by blackness, you know, African, says this, “Spike played the character Mookey and that’s one letter different than Monkey -Spike Lee is annoyed by the willfully ignorant black man.”

Then she tells me something far more interesting. She tells me Our Man’s chances of achieving what he has would have been substantially reduced were he a descendant of slaves and the product of black mother and white father. She tells me this would have been a result of the way he saw himself and of little consequence in the way we saw him.

How interesting is that? That’s racism. The hidden, ugly, pervasive head thereof. Damn. A special brand of vulgar.

Makes it obvious we’re not even close.

Still, beauty to be had. America has chosen a liberal black man to lead us. We didn’t choose him because he’s black. We chose him because he looks to be our best chance.

Begs the question, what’s next?

So many Americans aren’t ready for this. It’s my guess the midwest has shat itself, if only from confusion. I’m hoping the rednecks have crapped themselves moistureless and moved on to iced coffee and some goddamn sense. You don’t have to order a bagle or a muffin. You can have toast.

Forgive me, but I worry. We need to sail over the torpor and wash it it out of our mouths. Spit out any violence. Everybody. Not just us. All of us. Look at me. All of us.

Conventional wisdom seems to have out shouted cognitive dissonance. Nice.

From your heart try to be respectful at least once or twice. Sometimes it gets heavy. Trust me I have.

Do your best. Walk right out into a brand new day.

Stop being such pussies.

Drinks for my friends.

I’m just still in awe.

What has happened here is awesome. Forgive me, there is no better word.

I’m so pleased to see America do the right thing. In big ass overwhelming numbers. Historic margins. Dumbya had the retarded sense to declare a mandate after he stole a very close election. Yo Dumbya, check this mandate.

Bitch.

What exactly is up with Biden’s hair? Musta been humid.

Look what we did. Just look at it. They threw a trailer park of kitchen sinks at him and he prevailed with volume and velocity.

Never ever lost his cool. Not once. Flawless run. Every crisis dealt with aplomb. Not a step wrong. Amazing composure and dignity.

He’s just so fucking cool.

I’m pretty sure we don’t have to worry about him getting caught recieving a hummer in The Oval. We will never know. Michelle is pretty smokin.

The arc of history.

We all have limitations and we do well to own them. There is less than one in a million who don’t. Our man is one of those. He’s already shown us that.

He is the literal exception to almost every rule. By name and by face alone, one would imagine he had not a hope in hell. I am so impressed.

He’s our next President, bitch.

I can’t wait.

I’ll tell you why. It’s not his experience or lack thereof. Not his many accomplishments. Not his consistent countenance in the face of adversity.

It is his obvious intelligence and his ordinary life before his rapid acceleration. Despite his ears and the color of his skin, it is his humility.

In my mind, it is the difference between him and every other politician I’ve seen in my life. He’s a good solid man with a beautiful family. He is fierce. This man is not here to fuck around. There will be no Katrina size clusterfucks on Our Man’s watch.

It is astounding to put this man in the same sentence as George W. Bush. The idiot and the savant. Sounds like a pretty good one act play.

The reason I’m so in awe has everything to do with difference between the absolute moron who’s been the titular head of our country and therefore the free world for eight fucking years and the man we elected by absolute storm yesterday.

I kept asking why this was a contest. Turns out it wasn’t

Amazing.

Drinks for my friends.

Tired of this shit.

Joe the fucking plumber.

That they foist such a clueless asshole on us thinking he will somehow convince the great unwashed, by virtue of being an ignorant member thereof, is maybe more of an insult to them and us than the selection of Moosewoman for VP.

Sheezus.

Joe The Plumber.

Seriously, in the past few days, this dipshit has hired a publicist, begun to negotiate both a book and a country record deal and announced he’s considering a run for Congress. That this man, who’s name is not Joe, no plans to buy a business he claims falsely is worth a quarter million annually and he’s not even a goddamn plumber, could somehow matter to the electorate disgusts me.

He’s an idiot. I would love to debate this guy.

My father would tell you this guy doesn’t know his ass from a hole in the ground.

The Republicans have a sweaty fist full of candy and that’s it.

Kids in a candy store without adult supervision.

Today, the would be Clown Princess, took a pathetic swing at Our Man with the revelation that Obama is allied with some guy named Rashid Khalidi.

Fuck off. They just don’t get this.

Khalidi said Wednesday, “I am not speaking to the media at this time, and certainly not until this idiot wind passes.” -CNN

Asked why the McCain campaign was bringing the matter up six months after the article appeared, an aide replied, “Because we are one week away from potentially electing Barack Obama.” -CNN

Such obfuscation is certainly not in the spirit of change.

“I don’t know what’s next. By the end of the week, he’ll be accusing me of being a secret communist because I shared my toys in kindergarten. I shared my peanut butter and jelly sandwich,” Obama said. -CNN

It’s bullshit. I cover my eyes and hope to find the time and place for a nap. Or a bowl of pasta. Raisin Bran Total. Grits with lotsa butter and pepper.

This brings us to Our Man’s “infomercial”. Audacious? Maybe, maybe not. Let me just observe though, that it was golden. Not about him so much as the message was about us. For the umpteenth time I was reminded of the power and subtlety in this man’s possession . Adroit intelligence, a nimble mind and an obvious compassion that extends to all of us. Not just Americans. It was actually pretty cool.

McFuckstain shows up on Larry King still pissing and moaning about how much money Obama has, where he got it and that he wouldn’t participate in Doubtfire’s favored architecture of town hall meetings. Dude, he kicked your pasty ass is in fundraising. Get over it. See, the Republicans hate this because they’re more than used to being the party with overwhelming amounts of money. They haven’t lost the battle for filthy lucre in decades and that is the impetus for their pathetic.

Goddamn they’re sore losers.

You suck! Shut the fuck up!

It is the calmness, the composure and the confidence exuded by Our Man, his surrogates and even his wife that I find so impressive. This guy is smart and he knows it. He owns that he’s twice as smart as the opposition and he doesn’t gloat. He just keeps coming.

They lie, distort and twist. He smiles, tells the truth and takes another step forward. He doesn’t blink. He’s fearless. He knows exactly what he’s doing. They throw a bowl of spaghetti at the wall as an experiment to see what sticks. A small amount of noodles and sauce ends up on his suit. He brushes it off, wipes his hands with a napkin and keeps coming.

He casually sips lemonade from an icy glass, wipes his lips with the back of his hand and takes a seat behind the desk in an office called Oval.

Drinks for my friends.

I’m a proud American. I’m a patriot. Love it or leave it. Don’t you dare criticize. What other reason could you possibly have for objecting to wiretapping and surveillance unless you got something to hide?

Hell, I ain’t worried.

Like I said, I’m a patriot and I love my country.

Fisa can blow me, it always goes south when appointed judges stick their progressive dicks in it. Liberal judges legislating from the bench are not needed in these circumstances. Our government is just trying to protect us. It’s what they do. It’s what they’re there for.

If you can’t trust them, who can you trust?

Liberals need to relax while patriots can feel good about it.

Sure, I smoked a little dope when I was younger, beat up the occasional sissy. That was years ago. I’m a Born Again, so I love everybody now. I say let people do what they want. Within reason. Less government.

Dangerous times call for extreme measures and there’s no more dangerous times than now. The Arabs and the terrorists hate us for our freedom and want to kill us. Islam is a violent and hateful religion. They’re all crazy, you can’t talk to them. Fucking ragheads. Why don’t they just leave us alone? What did we ever do to them?

If it ain’t Communism it’s some Godless sandnigger religion. They say Barack Hussein Obama is a Muslim. It wouldn’t suprise me. He’s the most liberal member of the Senate you know. He’s friends with terrorists who would kill our own. Sounds to me like he’s one cousin removed from hating America.

What are people thinking? A black Muslim terrorist for President? Over my dead body. It’s why there’s that amendment that let’s us keep our guns. He wants to spread the wealth and that’s socialism. It’s pinko. Every American has the same opportunity, depends on what you do with it.

God created us equal, it says so in the Bible.

Don’t come to me if you’re a crack smoking welfare mom. I work. Don’t cry to me about your son getting involved in gangs. Get him a job. Put his ass to work. I work for a living.

Some of my good friends are blacks. Nice people but I didn’t own them or beat them. What do they want from me? It just so happens, they’re black and I’m white. It’s like I should regret being caucasian. Why should I feel guilt for the way I was born?

If you ask me, the only way to solve the mess is to nuke the whole Godforsaken region. Turn all that sand into glass. Iran too. Let God sort ’em out. Trust in God.

Goddamn right we need change. We’re in a real crisis. Mexicans stealing our jobs. Outsourcing. Fuckin gas through the roof. Liberals want to blame the white man. The American businessman. Good honest Christians who are being taxed and regulated to death for just trying to make a buck and go to church on Sunday in decent clothes.

Leave these people alone so they can create jobs and save this country. They are heroes. They deserve and need that tax break.

All these foreigners need to speak American. Say the Pledge every day including “under God” and respect our God, the one this great nation was founded on. A Christian God.

Why is that too much to ask? A little respect, you know? This is the greatest country in the world. Take off your hat and put your hand over your heart when our anthem gets played.

Call me a redneck, I don’t care because maybe that’s what I am. I love my country and I love Jesus Christ. He was a carpenter you know.

I gotta tell ya just because “Joe The Plumber” isn’t a plumber and his name’s not Joe and he can’t afford to buy the business he works for, doesn’t mean he isn’t Joe Sixpack and a regular American with the same problems we all have.

The Bible says an eye for an eye and that’s why abortion doctors sometimes reap what they’ve sown. I don’t condone it but I understand. Even if it’s rape, it’s not up to us to decide. I mean, a life is a life. The bible says so. Unless of course, if that life has taken another, or sold dope, or is a traitor or a terrorist. Face it, what better deterrent is there than the death penalty?

People should understand that we’ll kill them if they screw up in America. Justice should be swift and mighty. Every war, including this one we’re in now, is for justice and truth and democracy. Even when it’s really hard, America does the right thing. Always.

You know, W. is a good man. He made a few mistakes. All Presidents do. Nobody’s perfect. He cares about us. I feel it. He’s a good man. I’d really like to have a beer with him. I bet he’s friendly and regular. Cheney’s a little spooky but he’s just the brains of the operation.

So whatever about the gays. It’s a choice and there are consequences. We all pay a price for bad decisions and that’s one of the great things about America. Accountability. No way will this American stand for faggots who want to soil the Christian institution of marriage. It’s holy and sacred. Can’t you people just leave it alone? What difference could it possibly make in their lives and their futures?

It’s a symbol. That’s why they want it so bad. It’s just silly.

Show me a homosexual and I’ll show you a liberal. Wanna bet?

It’s like they think it will make them legitimate somehow. Uh, not in the eyes of this patriot.

In a lot of ways, it’s like the French. We saved their asses in The Big One. What have they ever done for us besides sneer and act like we’re bullies and brutes? Overcharge us for wine and cheese. Ingrates. Why do we bother?

Those countries that sell their oil to the Chinese instead of us; it might be time to introduce them to the United States Navy.

McCain fought to save us from communism. He’s got my vote because he’s a genuine hero. This Sarah Palin is sassy and real and they’re both mavericks. I like that. I don’t care how smart Obama is. That’s not was this is about. I’ve always been suspicious of book learning as opposed to street smarts. This guy Obama eats arugula and fish eggs. He went to Harvard. I think his wife did too.

Tea with a pinky out.

By the way, Michelle Obama has been ashamed of America. Only recently proud. Can you believe this shit? Now what does America, the best country in the world, have to be ashamed of?

You know what else bothers me? What does it say to the rest of the world if America elects an African American Muslim for President? The world respects us. We are the example. America is the bar. There’s a ton of responsibility there and we’re gonna be held accountable.

The one thing I can agree with the liberals about is the idea that this country has it’s head in the shitter.

We can’t afford this second guessing and insecurity when it comes too choosing our leaders. A man with over two decades in the Senate. A man who’s crashed four airplanes and is still with us. A woman who shoots moose. A woman who’s been both Mayor and Governor of the wilderness. Both these Americans are patriots.

A woman who doesn’t break a sweat while spending more than twice what most American’s make in a year on two months worth of clothes. She wants to look good for us.

A man who’s not afraid to call his wife a “cunt” in public.

Drinks for my friends.

I don’t know.

I was looking for more.

No wild swings, no haymakers. Certainly no knockouts.

Our Man was more dignified and in control. The composure of restraint served him well once again. Obama prevailed, but not so clearly or decisively, as last time. A net loss for Doubtfire, the salient reason, he’s behind in the polls and sliding. The onus was clearly on McCain to impress us. Didn’t happen.

The Bootlicker did a lot of flatlining.

I expected and even predicted that Our Man would throw more power punches tonight. I didn’t know then what I know now. He didn’t need to. It’s changed since their last meeting. He is winning.

I don’t mean to impart that I found it less than interesting. It was compelling.

Just talked to my Mother and her sentiment is more or less congruent with mine. She yelled at me for interrupting the post game analysis.

Cindy Stepford McCain said today that Obama has “waged the dirtiest campaign in American history,”. Fascinating. An insane thing to say in light of what the entire McCain family was subjected to at the hands of the unholy trinity of Bush, Rove and Cheney in two thousand. Amusing, in light of Palin’s recent remarks insinuating Our Man is some kind of terrorist.

That statement, by the actual Mrs. Doubtfire, smacks of raw and unmitigated desperation.

Also telling is the fact that McCain walked away when it was over and Our Man and Michelle stayed to engage.

Fresh diaper?

We are in good shape.

I can tell because they’re stepping on their own vagina lips to embarrass themselves. Desperation always smells worse than ass. More like many asses. Like a sewer. It’s why desperation rarely attracts much more than pity.

I need to address something else here. Forgive me, it’s not the first time. The question of why, if Obama is so clearly on the right side of America’s concerns and issues, why isn’t he ahead by twenty points? Economy in the toilet, unpopular war and McCain and his party are entirely culpable. It’s been an underlying theme since the primaries.

Why was it such a barfight for this man to close the deal and knock Hillary the fuck out?

Let’s just forego the requisite polite and feigned naivete here. It’s because he’s black and racism is alive and well here in the greatest country on earth. Were he a white man, it would be over but for the shouting.

The good news is, he appears to have left that brand of blasphemy behind. Not entirely, but you see it.

Indeed, America sees not a black man, certainly not a terrorist or a muslim. America sees a man. A strong, principled, intelligent, capable American man with the courage of his convictions. Congratulations my fellow citizens. The majority of us have seen fit to judge a man based on the content of his character rather than the color of his skin. We have begun to realize a dream, the shape and size of which could propel all human beings further into this century with prosperity and equality unlike we’ve ever seen.

It doesn’t suck that the competition is the Keystone Fucking Cops.

Forgive my enthusiasm. It’s just that the unthinkable is damn near at hand. A shift of this archaic and obsolete paradigm. It looks like we may have had enough. Pretty goddamn exciting if you ask me.

Too bad they had to screw the pooch this violently to even risk losing power. Too bad about the mess Our Man is walking into. Don’t forget, getting elected President is like getting a record deal; not the end all but the very beginning. We hope.

Drinks for my friends.

Much respect as I remain entertained by the Rajun Cajun, but he needs to take his whiskey home.

“You haven’t heard about Iraq or John McCain or George W. Bush — I haven’t heard any of this. We are a country that is in a borderline recession, we are an 80 percent wrong-track country. Health care, energy — I haven’t heard anything about gas prices,” Carville also says. “Maybe we are going to look better Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. But right now, we’re playing hide the message.” -James Carville CNN.com

See, Jimmy, you’re right.

But see Jimmy, there’s another agenda as well. Dare I sound like an overly sensitive nancy boy when I point this out, but we’re going for a little unity here too.

See Jimmy, that’s on the agenda because you Clinton people have just refused to be remembered as dignified. Your class and generosity is suspect. Y’all continue to pick and whine. We no longer want to listen to your shit. We’d like to move on. We’d still like you to come with us, but it’s time to go.

See Jimmy, there’s a significant number of you who say at least, that they’ll be voting for McCain because Hillary didn’t get was owed to her and Bill. What was owed to her and Bill.

Jimmy, this is a problem and these people are idiots.

See what I’m saying Jimmy?

You musta missed Michelle Obama’s speech. My cable is out but my mother called to tell me how wonderful it was.

I watched it in pieces on the internet. I imagine you pontificated before that so I’m giving you a partial pass.

I actually teared up a little. These two people are special. They reach out and touch with astounding grace and sincerity. Her speech tonight was beyond compelling.

She was.

An elegant and passionate orator, an honest and humble communicator, a profound force of humility and honesty. Beautiful and intelligent and courageous.

She was.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I was moved.

She is.

Resplendent.

Jimmy, my advice to you is to shut up, jump on the back and let your feet dangle over the edge while you watch the road pass backwards between them.

Drinks for my friends.

It’s fucking awesome.

Know why? It fearlessly shines with the candlepower of our sun on the willfull ignorance and idiocy of far too many ‘Mericans. Three syllables is all these dipshits can manage.

Could this be collusion with Our Man’s campaign? Is there a potential boost with this most deliberate dust up? That would be cool. I like that they gave Michelle an afro and a gun. She’s kinda hot.

They did it by betting Americans are stupid and/or indignant. From here it appears to be a pretty good bet.

“Baracknaphobia” is what Jon Stewart would call it..

A cavalcade of morons paraded across my television screen during the latest news cycle. All actually feigning confusion, or sincerely confused by the cover cartoon. The same way the media covers a shooting in South Central, by finding the most gap toothed black person. Except, these were white people with nice teeth.

Sheezus, what the fuck is going on here?

It’s like the media has decided that you don’t have to be ‘ethnic’ to be stooopid.

Our man handled it like a professional wine taster from Alcoholics Anonymous. He noted it had gone bad, spit it out and moved on.

“It’s a cartoon … and that’s why we’ve got the First Amendment,” Obama said. “And I think the American people are probably spending a little more time worrying about what’s happening with the banking system and the housing market, and what’s happening in Iraq and Afghanistan, than a cartoon. So I haven’t spent a lot of time thinking about it.”

“I’ve seen and heard worse,” he said. “I do think that in attempting to satirize something, they probably fueled some misconceptions about me instead. But that was their editorial judgment.” -CNN

The best comedy is always honest. So is the best satire. This is, without a doubt brutal a brutal example, but we are served by it. There is honesty to be had here.

Graphically, it defines the mindset and imagination of far too many of us in a time when we should have moved past
this shallow nonsense. We’re only a few hundred years old as a country, not a good enough reason to be as callow and stubborn as we still are.

In many ways, we’ve been walking backwards for a time.

The talking heads keep barking that America doesn’t know Obama yet. Where the hell have you people been? He’s been running for President for two fucking years. I hope the media is wrong on this one, the idea scares me more than the terrorists.

Arianna wrote a cool piece today on the mistake by the media for viewing Barack through a prism of liberal vs. conservative ideaology. I need to point out that Americans make the mistake of looking at the world through a lense of Muslim vs. Christian. Us vs. Them. Our God is better and more righteous than theirs, so Our God must kill theirs or at least we should kill all of them. We reserve the right to use nuclear weapons to accomplish any end resembling what we’ve just described…………

Note that many of these folks only show up on a meter that reads from hypocrite to sociopath.

“I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together.
See how they run like pigs from a gun, see how they fly.
I’m crying.” -I Am The Walrus, The Beatles

“But we’re never gonna survive, unless…
We get a little crazy” -Seal

Seven thousand foreclosures a day while we spend half a million a minute in Iraq. In the same way we can’t pay for those houses, we can’t pay for this war. Do not adjust your set. This is the fucked up truth.

Drinks for my friends.

Sheezus! Our man opts out of public financing worth about eighty five million dollars and instead, decides to bet on his own fundraising prowess where he’s so far been able to accumulate around a quarter billion.

Duh.

The ‘duh’ is my sentiment, but Candy Crowley just uttered it on CNN.

You can bet your vagina that if the situation were reversed, the former champions of amassing massive war chests, that would be Republicans, would bust the very same move.

For what it’s worth, Barack raised his money in large part from the people, in small donations. Republicans typically benefit from corporate money.

In all fairness, it is a reversal on the part of our man. However, it is a practical and intelligent decision for Barack to utilize the funds provided by individual American citizens who want to see him as President. Doubtfire calls him a flip flopper less than a week after doing the very same thing on an issue far more important; offshore drilling and expolration. Why, experts speculate that could save us a dollar a barrel in a decade or so. I thought I came up with that last point myself, and I did. Carville beat me to the punch just now on CNN.

Not only that but the poor bastard is pissed because he’s completely outmatched.

Prescience is mine. I hope.

I hope this man will remain accountable to the citizens, the Americans, who have and will fund his ascendancy to the White House because we hope and understand the fierce urgency of now. The imperative for change.

Consider the alternative. See? You have got to be fucking kidding me.

Yesterday his campaign ended up in a minor shitstorm for not allowing some women in tradititional muslim garb to appear behind our man on camera. “Insensitive”, they said. The pot indignantly describes the kettle as more black. The culture fomented by fear mongers and bigots under the guise of terrorism is the reason, right or wrong. The media insists it’s a story. It’s not our story. It’s not that we don’t care, it’s just we’re painfully aware from whence it came.

All I have to say to Cindy Stepford McCain is shut the fuck up. She says she’s always been proud of her country. Well, that’s jingoistic, nationalistic and just plain stupid. She thinks she speaks of patriotism, it’s abundantly clear she has no clue.

Did she take pride in Abu Ghraib? How about the assassinations of 1968? Is she taking pride in the geopolitical/economic disaster her husband has not only been complicit in but helped to engineer? How about the savings and loan scandal her which husband escaped unscathed? How proud of her country and her husband was she when the Little Bootlicker hugged Dumbya and endorsed him after losing the nomination in part for him being accused of fathering an illegitimate black child that they in fact adopted? Or when he voted against fair treatment and a modest education for our troops returning home from an unjustified war in Iraq? Slavery? Was she proud when her doddering husband suggested there was nothing wrong with staying in Iraq for a hundred years? New Orleans? Plamegate? Executive priviledge? Suspension of Habeas Corpus? Tax cuts for the rich? Sean Hannity? Rush Limbaugh? Ann Coulter? Bill O’Reilly? Is she proud of her country for slaughter after slaughter of millions of innocent civilians caught between competing corporate financial interests over the last five decades?

I for one, have been profoundly ashamed of all these things and it’s an abbreviated version of a very long list.

She’s proud of getting richer while everyone else gets poorer.

The phenomena of Barack Obama is reason for me to be be proud of my country for the first time in a very long time. So is Michelle Obama for that matter. They are both, a class act. I can’t wait.

Cindy Stepford McCain might be an asshole, just like the rest of them.

Drinks for my friends.