Archive for the ‘Cheney’ Category

Oh fuck.

Bloodiest month in Iraq since September of last year. It’s Iran’s fault, they tell us. It’s not that the surge is no longer working, they assure us.

It’s that it never did, I assure you.

Stupid idea. Too little. Too late.

A band aid applied with the hope it would staunch the wound long enough for Dick-in-Bush to make a getaway. It was a matter of time until the dam breached itself by an artery that just wasn’t able to contain the pressure of all that blood.

They don’t have another one.

In what may be the cruelest and simultaneously most hysterical whirling dervish of irony I’ve ever witnessed, our nation has an immediate and affordable solution to the shattered back of our fighting force. The numbers are somewhere between twelve and twenty million. It’ll be a little less logistically efficacious if we decide to build that stupid border fence, but still doable.

Just think, we could all sleep a little easier knowing that we’re finally justified in paying them a fair wage as well as covering their medical needs etc.

See, they’d be dying for us while we sleep and have barbecues on Sunday. Well, not us, but the military industrial complex.

Draft the illegals!

I feel comfortable playing the race card.

Not really.

In other news, our Little Bootlicker pissed all over a bill that sought to mandate equal pay for women because he feared the lawsuits that would emerge. Um, isn’t that the point asshole?

Don’t forget, Doubtfire is on record as in favor of permanent tax cuts to the wealthy while we are facing perhaps the worst economic disaster since the Great Depression. Rice is being rationed in America for fuck’s sake. He’s cool with us staying in Iraq for a hundred years and it explains it with the example of our presence in Germany or South Korea.

Anybody remember any American soldiers dying in either of those two countries in combat in say, the last three decades?

Both Shrillary and McCain are in favor of a moratorium on federal gas tax for the summer. Great idea. Profound and inspired despite it’s being another goddamn blatant and pandering populist band aid to demonstrate how they feel our pain.

Never mind the jobs and money lost to our highway and bridge repair infrastructure, it won’t save you shit.

Check the crab in a bucket metaphor from the last blog.

Another suggestion along the same lines would be a mandate that all children, everywhere walk to school. Not even parents can drive them. They must get there under their own power. Can you imagine the money that could be saved?

We should go back to making everything out of wood. Soft drink containers and dashboards and polyester pants for fat people as well as the the stylistically challenged. Lenses and guns and amplifiers. Imagine a wooden computer.

You could safely use Pledge on it.

Why, it’s a renewable resource.

In America, the lights are on, but nobody’s home.

How did we become the stupidest and richest country on earth?

Wait. I know

Lust and greed?

Beer?

Gin!

Tonight on CNN, Michelle Obama said of the Wright controversy, she was finished talking about it. as is her husband, and that the issue would only die when the media diegns to acquiesce. I shouldn’t be allowed to say it after that last sentence but. WORD.

Every once in awhile I wonder if we all aren’t just stupid enough to not realize we are pell mell towards either the sun melting us, or a demise of our own.

Like the sun melting us.

I can see the world on my plasma TV. I communicate with all of you via a MAC. I have hand held devices that I can talk to the world with or control the signals beamed at me from a satellite in orbit.

I don’t see much progress. So far, no big picture shared by a majority of our species. It’s still neanderthal. Set huge fires. Everyman for himself. Get yourself a woman. Bacon is good.

Drinks for my friends.

Yesterday Dumbya, in an earnest impersonation of Alfred E. Newman, told us no worries, we’re not in a recession.

Oil up over one hundred seventeen dollars a barrel. Up from thirty or so under Clinton. You’re all aware, I’m sure, of the mortgage bloodbath. The job deficit. Half a million a minute in Iraq on CREDIT.

Those stimulus checks are on the way. Help you out with that two hundred percent increase at the pump. Yep, help to pay ExxonMobile. Richest corporation in the history of man. Sounds good. Nice little circle of larceny.

It goes on and on.

(CNN) — John McCain’s campaign sent supporters a fundraising e-mail Friday that claims Hamas approves of Democrat Barack Obama’s foreign policy vision, and is hoping for his victory this fall.

I guess there’s some truth to this but for fuck’s sake people, you think they’d put their money on a man like Doubtfire who thinks we can hang around for a hundred more years?

I an upcoming interview on 60 Minutes, Supreme Court Antonin Scalia says of the controversial decision which handed Bush the Whitehouse in two thousand that America needs to “Get over it”.

I hate that prick. You know, he and Darth Cheney are pals.

And once again we are being beaten about the head shoulders with the opinions of Jeremiah Wright. I will point out again, ad nauseam , there isn’t much of what he said that isn’t true. How goddamn sad our man is being impugned by the media for truths he did not even utter.

“In a fiery sermon in April 2003, Wright said: “The government gives them the drugs, builds bigger prisons, passes three-strike laws and wants them to sing God Bless America.”

“God damn America … for killing innocent people.”

“God damn America for threatening citizens as less than humans”

“God damn America as long as she tries to act like she is God and supreme.”

“We have supported state terrorism against the Palestinians and black South Africans, and now we are indignant because of stuff we have done overseas is now brought back into our own backyard. America is chickens coming home to roost.”

“Barack knows what it means living in a country and a culture that is controlled by rich white people,” Wright said. “Hillary would never know that.”

“Hillary ain’t never been called a nigger. Hillary has never had a people defined as a non-person.”

-All quotes from FOXNews.com

You motherfucking tell me what is dishonest or untruthful about any of that. America’s problem is that she cannot handle the truth. Goddamnit and goddman you who would question that. We are a society of cowards, hypocrites and cold calculating reptiles.

On September 18, 2006, Pastor John Hagee — whose endorsement Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) said this past Sunday he was “glad to have” — told NPR’s Terry Gross that “Hurricane Katrina was, in fact, the judgment of God against the city of New Orleans.” “New Orleans had a level of sin that was offensive to God,” Hagee said, because “there was to be a homosexual parade there on the Monday that the Katrina came.”

Now, that offends me and my sensibilities.

Shrillary is ahead in the popular vote if you count Florida and Michigan even though they all agreed they don’t count. That’s her new bugle from atop the hill.

Gimme a fucking break.

Anybody notice we’re not talking about the war?

It’s pretty bad again.

I believe the second and last time I heard my mother say the word “fuck”, her sentence was something like, “We are the best country on earth and we are going to fuck it up.”

The first time had something to do with me not vacuuming the astro turf on the porch in front of the trailer when I was fourteen.

I am in awe. I can’t believe this shit.

You people are as hopelessly gullible as a small gathering of primates. I don’t doubt they’d be embarrassed eventually.

They are ramming this shit down your throats because the only thing that gets you off is to gag on it.

Understand that this is a man who comes from just a slightly different place than most of you and I. That’s a good thing. Just consider, he has already seen what you are about to see and he may just be the man to help you through it. Change must come. It’s only now begun to arrive. The antidote will only come from a man such as this. I don’t see any others, and if you’re smart, you’ll be happy he’s here.

And stop worrying that he’s some sort of Muslim or that he hates America.

Don’t be a damn fool.

Drinks for my friends.

Pope Benedict XVI showed up today in America. Boy, am I excited. Did you know there’s like seventy million Catholics in this country? Did you know that by being Catholic you’re automatically full of shit? Trust me, I know a few Catholics and some of them are nice, but all of them, completely full of shit.

It’s true, I loathe Catholicism. Gays will burn in hell. Third world countries shouldn’t be allowed access to birth control because premarital sex is a sin. Then there’s the rampant and chronic ass raping of children by priests. That last one is a big one. I hear it just cost them two billion bucks. That’s maybe a day and half in Iraq.

I really could go on and on and on………

Allow me to lend you some perspective. People jumped all over Barack Obama a few weeks back because the pastor of his church was percieved by some to have insulted America. How could he belong to such a church? Why didn’t he leave that church and denounce that man?

Despite the fact that Jeremiah Wright spoke the truth, it occurs to me to ask this question: How the fuck can you people, nearly seventy million of you, in all good conscience, remain Catholic?

So I’m pretty sure I saw his image today.

I was walking along skid row and in a river of crap and piss, I glimpsed a piece of toast that made me think of this fuck’s face. True, it did look a little like Dick Cheney. Anyway, I was in a bad way, so I puked bile and snot after I was certain that I saw the face of the Pope in a slice of toast floating in human sewage running down the street.

None of this is true, by the way.

I was positive that what I saw was divine so I called every cable news show I could think of on a pay phone and asked them to meet me there in front of the booth. I had a pocket full of quarters from the the jerk off stalls earlier in my evening.

I’d lifted the countenance of the current pope in the form of a toast wedge from the gutter with my left foot and placed it neatly on the floor of the the last phone booth on skid row.

Guess what? They all came. Helicopters and vans. Crazy. I told them I’d been backpacking in the Andes for the last ten years. I ate grass and drank tea. I told them my meat of choice was yak. They nodded like it made sense.

I tell them it’s him and they’ll see because his ears and forehead are scary accurate in that morsel of toast.

I tell them, I can’t forgive this man for what he’s done and what he presides over.

I tell them he should be arrested while he’s in this country and I’m sure that’s when they decide to arrest me. I try to tell them how Cardinal Mahoney is Darth fucking Vader.

I end up in a cell. He ends up with the ass of any child he desires while candles and incense burn.

I’m just trying to make a point here. Both these fucks belong in handcuffs.

Can you believe this shit?

This fuck coming here?

Want a poster boy for religion as complete crap?

I do get carried away.

Forgive me.

I call them like I see them.

You know this prick was a Nazi?

Fuck the Pope.

Drinks for my friends.

I’m kinda loathe to piggy back on issues raised by journalists or pundits. I’m making an exception because tonight I was reminded of something that really chaps my ass.

Tonight, Bill Maher raised an issue relevant, for it’s irrelevancy; steroids in baseball.

I just don’t give a mad fuck.

But.

Since when are performance enhancing drugs somehow the provenance of our elected officials in the House of Representatives? Jurisdiction notwithstanding, how could it possibly be a priority?

Hello? DEA?

Of all the people who have stood in front of congress and lied, refused to answer or flat out refused to even be questioned under oath, Darth Cheney and Dumbya included, how on earth can the insouciant persecution and indictment of Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens be justified or somehow in our best interest as a nation at war?

Congress seeks to convict these mere entertainers, of perjury.

Yes, they lied to you.

Everybody lies to you.

All the sudden you care?

About this?

You have got to be fucking kidding me.

Of all the people who’ve stood before them and lied, and they knew they were being lied to, The American Congress, the cream of our legislative crop, chooses an attempt to make an example of Major League Baseball players.

I say attempt, because how much you wanna bet that they come up with a shit sandwich?

Every time these asschimps whack off or take a bribe they either get caught or everyone knows about it. They are Keystone Cops in fast motion with that whacky Benny Hill music.

By the way, Barry Bonds is an asshole replete and Roger Clemens is one sorry lilly livered loose lipped motherfucking lip licking cashier. Douchebags both. Baseball is stupid.

Sometimes I can’t stand it.

Drinks for my friends.

Those of you that have been reading me for awhile, may recall that my take on the last State of The Union was titled “No babies in garbage disposals”. A not so subtle nod towards the populist pablum. Tonight was more of the same.

He still insisted on mispronouncing ‘nuclear’ six or seven times and stubbornly whipped the deceased equine carcass of social security, or “entitlements” in the euphemistic vernacular of the neocons. Fuck that. Social Security is not an entitlement. We pay in when we are young, it pays out when we are old.

More pointless and baseless saber rattling at Iran. Way Too many Democrats hauling asses out of seats for this particular round of applause. Sheezus.

I feel like an eight year old. I was bored and really, I just don’t give a mad fuck what Dumbya has to say anymore. He may still be dangerous, but his irrelavance metastasizes by the hour.

I found more intrinsic entertainment in the shifts of smirk Cheney wore behind Dumbya’s right shoulder. I was amused by the Republican lockstep of standing ovations.

C’mon you pinheads, you’ve got be fucking kidding me.

Perhaps it’s irresponsible and lazy, but to counter the address point by point would be futile and didactic. If you don’t realize how full of shit he is by now, you never will. Like I said, I just don’t care.

On a far more interesting note, Obama collected the endorsement of Senator Ted Kennedy as well as a glowing op-ed in the New York Times yesterday titled “A President Like My Father” written by Caroline Kennedy, daughter of JFK, in case you didn’t know. Now this, is heavy.

The momentum that Obama is gathering is formidable. Although still very early, it is of a brand that could thwart the Clinton Machine. Wow. A certain degree of credit goes to Barack himself. He’s demonstrated a not so simple grace in allowing the Clintons to make themselves look bad. Zen judo. Awesome.

Time to take a walk John. Don’t go too far.

Goddamn Super Tuesday will roar at us I hope.

Drinks for my friends.

Aug. 30, 2007
There’s nothing wrong with that. Except, he’s liar and a hypocrite too. Poor bastard covets cock, pines for penis and thinks that’s his worst problem.
A quick google reveals this self loathing elderly hunk of man meat has a 100% approval rating from the Christian Coalition. That’s funny. They HATE fags. I wonder if it’s congruent with how he hates himself, or a completely antithetical brand of fear and loathing.
Anyway. Another closeted hypocritical gay Republican elected representative, in denial and pursuing an overtly homophobic legislative agenda.
* Voted YES on constitutional ban of same-sex marriage. (Jun 2006)
* Voted NO on adding sexual orientation to definition of hate crimes. (Jun 2002)
* Voted NO on expanding hate crimes to include sexual orientation. (Jun 2000)
* Voted YES on prohibiting same-sex marriage. (Sep 1996)
* Voted NO on prohibiting job discrimination by sexual orientation. (Sep 1996)
Source.
For fuck’s sake this guy has been in power and under a cloud for decades.
Restless leg syndrome. That’s all it was. Now that’s funny. I have to admit I stole that from an e-mail read out loud on the Cafferty File.
In case you missed my point; my disgust is about his behavior outside the bedroom, train staion or airport bathroom. I think he sucks (sorry, I crack me up) because he’s so disturbed that he’s dedicated his life to punishing his own, merely because he hates himself so much.
More and more, that mentality seems to prevail in our body politic and ever more acutely in the GOP. Foley was how long ago? They knew about Foley and you can bet your ass they knew about this deranged prick.
David Dreier anyone?
The ‘07 GOP family values schadenfreude. On tour and in a TV near you. They’ve begun to eclipse Catholic priests in the arena of depravity.
This month alone, Snow, Rove and Gonzales walk.
Again, the damage is done. All three walked away whistling.
Your seeing a full on slow motion implosion of a political party.
One can only hope that the thus far invertebrate Democrats can find the courage of the people’s convictions and lead according to principal and the will of WE THE PEOPLE.
That is our only hope, so I’m scared shitless.
I don’t typically do this but I’d like to take this opportunity to rub your goddamn noses in some pretty obvious shit. The answers to most of our problems as a country and those of the world at large are generally pretty obtainable; just an arm’s reach opposite the remote for most of us.
Ethanol from corn is an egregiously stupid idea. More expensive, less miles per gallon and enviromentally disastrous. Hemp you fools! Hemp solves all three and textiles too.
Sorry. I digress.
Obama and Hillary are the political equivalent of ethanol.
What I want you to know is that this time there is a legitimate Democratic candidate for president of this once great country. His name is Dennis Kucinich and he is a real cowboy.
The only one to openly oppose the war publicly before it even started and the only one to vote against it every time. The only one with the sack to introduce articles of impeachment in congress for Cheney. The only one with a comprehensive health plan, a not for profit health care system for every American. The ONLY ONE not beholdin to BIG PHARMA, ENERGY, INSURANCE, DEFENSE OR FINANCIAL. The only one.
Among the smartest. Definitely the most honest. My mother says he’s too liberal. She is wrong. He’s a common sense centrist. He is what we need to have a chance at cleaning this mess up.
If I’m right about Americans, he has not a hope in hell.
Prove me wrong? Pay attention? Please?
Drinks for my friends.

I don’t know why, but for more than a few months now
I’ve thought of Attorney General Alberto Gonzales as
“Gertie”. He seems more Gertie than Gonzo in
light of his polite and soft spoken testimony that
revealed him to be either an even tempered retard or a
shameless liar.

Of course Dumbya stuck with him til the end cause he’s
a cowboy and that’s how they roll. At one point,
after Gertie uttered some version of ‘I have no idea’
over seventy times in one sitting in front of Congress, Dumbya said
something like he had even more confidence in his
ability to lead the DOJ.

Gertie stopped short of apoligizing for getting shot
in the face because he hasn’t yet been shot in the face.

High crimes, misdemeanors, felonies, overt obfuscation
and some comedy.

In the last month, Snow, Rove and Gertie all reflected
on Rumsfeld and realized, no one says shit about that
incompetent evil little prick anymore.

Each had his own epiphany. It went something like
this:

“I think I’ll tip the fuck out the door now. It’s
gettin mighty ugly up in here and if I leave now,
ain’t no way I gotta endure the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune
come the morrow, or hunt with Dick come fall. ”

The dipshitocrats say that the investigations will
continue. They will. But a deal has most likely been
cut. I’ll be suprised to hear much more from Gertie
or Rove or Snow for that matter.

After all, we’ve heard from Rumsfeld just once. It
wasn’t about profoundly inept war mismanagement that
resulted in a loss of life in the neighborhood of a
million souls.

It wasn’t about torture and death sanctioned by him.

It wasn’t even about our men and women not having
adequate body armor or safe vehicles to deliver candy
and flowers in.

We heard from him on lies, deceit and a cover up of
the death of an American hero named Pat Tillman. As
big a deal as this is, he was called on the carpet for
the death of one man.

Think Gertie has much more to say on illegal wiretapping or firing of US attorneys for failing to dig dirt on voter fraud among Democrats? That’s a goddamn punchline by itself.

It’s all over but the shouting. The damage has been
done. The havoc has been wrought. You won’t see many
more departures. The rest will ride it out.

Dumbya has no idea how to drive. They let him put on
the captain’s hat and take the wheel whenever he’s had
a bad dream or his inner cowboy feels insecure, but
they don’t let him spend a waking moment without a
hand up his ass.

Although he did compare Iraq to Vietnam last week.
I’m thinking a greasy dinner, maybe possum, allowed
him to slip off the hand, however briefly.

His handlers slapped their foreheads and forgot about it. He says stupid shit all the time.

Happy trails America. Dick Cheney is now completely
in charge. Don’t doubt for a second that he intends to run this ship as far onto land as he can. Full steam baby. Here we go.

“When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.” -HST

Drinks for my friends.

It occurs to me that of all the reasons to resist
impeachment of either of these two executive
dickheads, heh, the most compelling is the idea that
the Democrats, eyeing a possible win in ’08, are more
than happy to allow the consolidation of executive
power to continue so that they will literally be
seizing control upon prevailing on our electoral
college.

Pretty fucking scary. They already gave Dumbya an ass
pocket of torque to do whatever Cheney tells him when it
comes to penetrating the lives of our citizenry
without ever having to tell a single soul.

Then the bastards took a vacation.

My knee jerk was, “what a bunch of complete pussies”.
I was astonished that the dipshitocrats were still
ambulatory at all after literally folding in half when
their spines mysteriously evaporated after just one
round of the war funding bout.

Picture it. Really. Harry Reid, once a boxer, bent
so completely backward at the waist that his head
scrapes the ground as he stares from between his own
feet, his trunk pulled along by his legs like an
afterthought.

Turdblossom then flees the scene with his balloon head
buffeted by the velocity of his escape. A deal was
cut there kids. I doubt you’ll see anymore
persecution by our newly elected majority of America’s
very own Lex Luthor.

Maybe I’m naive, but I’m not sure how much I want
to know about this rabbit hole.

I’m not stupid. I understand that a lot of them sleep
in the same bed as well as share the same bathwater.
They may awkwardly mingle dicks given they’re
so clueless about homosexuality. Even the gay
ones.

Hillary and Obama lead both parties when it comes to
meeting big pharma at the crossroads and stuffing
their undergarments with filthy lucre.

Yet I still wonder just what the fuck is going on
here.

I am firmly of the opinion that it is the fundamental
responsibility of our legislative branch to seek
impeachment of our executive leaders for defying the
Constitution of The United States of America. Indeed,
for making such an egregious mess of everything they
have touched. For the nearly one million dead. And
for shamelessly lying about it every step of the way.

Regular Dick-in-Bush report cards qualify them for the short bus and helmets at the mall. Despite this, with the exception of Conyers and Kucinich, they refuse to even discuss it.

What gives?

Clinton got what I hope was a rockstar style hoovering
and lied about it. Nixon was actually complicit in
petty crimes and lied about it. In both instances
congress pretty much handed them their asses.

What gives?

What’s it going to take?

Do we need video of Cheney eating aborted babies with fucking
ketchup? Maybe he’ll use the wrong goddamn fork and
then we’ll nail his ass.

Like I said last time around, the damage is done. The
pooch has been raped with violence and merciless
repetition. America is now a poodle pulled along on one of those
skateboards from the fifties with metal wheels.

The rest of the world laughs, sheds a tear, sighs or
fears they who pull the crippled creature across the
world stage.

For seven years, the Democrats have been guilty of
aiding and abetting and there is no end in sight.

They want to pull the dog across the stage for awhile.

You have got be fucking kidding me.

Man I fucking hate these guys.

Drinks for my friends.

I’m shooting from the hip on this one.

I saw a headline. No TV, no print media and no internet.

The sum total of what I know is that one of the biggest three dingleberries ever to dangle in the asshair of America has acquiesced to being troweled off.

Bush’s Brain takes a powder.

Now that’s compelling.

I’m guessing he couldn’t take the heat. His kitchen had become a furnace for felonious neocons. That’s my bet. No way a man of his ilk would abandon his post if his demise wasn’t otherwise imminent. He’s been with Dumbya since the 70’s I think.

Unlike Dumbya, not a stupid man by any means. An egghead though. Without a doubt. A sulfer stench. He emerges and disappears with a fetor of decay; a cloud that’s accompanied him with violent pungence for the last few decades. Since ’06 his stink has become greasy and palpable.

His nickname is “turdblossom” you know.

What I’m saying here is that this man has sucked forever. Maybe from birth. He’s the architect of this wasteland left of America. His ideas and his execution.

Well, he and Darth.

And he gets to just leave it all behind.

I imagine he has plenty of money. Rest assured he’ll suck his last breath from underneath sheets of a very high threadcount.

There is no self respecting historian that could possibly paint this prick favorably. At least he has to endure his legacy until the Earth claims him for worm food.

Poor sightless primitive snakes.

The good news. This means Dick-in-Bush are now wandering the landscape of this once great nation sackless. There is still a phallic protuberance; that would be Cheney. There is still a gimp in some submissive leather harness; that would be Bush.

Ha! They are bagless. No testosterone drip.

What was once an impenetrable steel fortress is now a decaying wooden fence around a windblown shack in need of more than paint and plumbing.

They are done.

Within the next six months, the roof will fail from rot. Elvis fans will trespass looking for souvenirs.

But they will leave a legacy of death, injustice, arrogance, stupidity and a vacuum of compassion that will dwarf that of any previous administration of this once great country.

Ruin and waste is their wake. Whether Cheney and Bush manage to weather the next 18 months remains to be seen. Regardless of that outcome, their legacy of devastation will not change.

Rove exits stage left not a moment too soon. We remain however, fucked.

Drinks for my friends.

Aug. 10, 2007
Ok seriously. What’s the deal with our media?
Am I wrong or was Cronkite not only an excellent journalist but a responsible one. Anyone remember Eric Sevareid? Murrow was clearly a tough act to follow but these two guys I remember.
By no means do I discount the others of that era.
Am I wrong, or were they all pretty respectable back in the day?
Ooooh! ABC science correspondent Jules Bergman? Anyone? I had relations with his daughter. Seriously. She was hot and sultry. And whip smart.
Certainly, anything I’m about to say about the sport of journalism has it’s exceptions. Every rule does. Mr. Olbermann is one of those exceptions. Randi Rhodes, Greg Palast, Tom Hartman, there’s far more than a handful.
They don’t piss me off. Therefore, I have little to say about them other than at least the complimentary, if not a slice of sheer idolatry.
We’re done here.
Onto the subject at hand:
OUR FUCKTARDIAN MEDIA!
Anybody else notice the sheer brilliance of Jon
Stewart’s assessment of the candidates from both
parties and his take on the ridiculous syrup of media coverage not
just poured generously but trumpeted by a chorus of
media vessels simultaneously glugging while emptying the other night?
That’s a goddamn sentence, yes it is.
He did it comprehensively, accurately and gin through
the nose funny in twelve minutes flat. An intellectually honest take on the state of the race and the irresponsible, open sore inducing mainstream coverage.
And his point was well taken. It’s fucking
ridiculous. His last look at the camera before
commercial is fierce and tells us that
he wasn’t fucking kidding.
He’s saying it’s been a loooong time since the media
took it’s responsibility seriously or took any
responsibility at all.
Television news in America is a giant and dangerous
fucking joke.
This week it seems to be about Nicole Richie. I’m a fan of her father, actually worked with him once. A sweet horsefaced man with a lot of talent.
Forgive me, I don’t give a mad fuck about his daughter.
While we’re on the subject of forgiveness; this bridge in Minnesota is a tragedy without question.
I’m over it. I didn’t know any of them and I’m not sure I care about the hundreds of bridges likely to toss us into a school of Great Whites within the next twenty seven years due to lack of oversight or overt fraud.
Am I gonna swim or hike across whatever the bridge spans?
In a pigs ass.
Yet we still lap at the sick sweet syrup. We love it.
We tolerate it socially and lick a
little up in private. It’s chronic, insidious and
reiterative.
Take Cheney on King a few nights ago.
Boilerplate Cheney.
The most outrageous and elaborate falsehoods. Really
a howler.
Honestly, I was entertained.
That man lies with more conviction than anyone I’ve
seen besides Dumbya, and I’m not sure Dumbya knows he’s lying most
of the time.
Darth called the Alberto Gonzales clusterfuck a partisan
witch hunt. Said Al is a good guy.
You have got be fucking kidding me. Half of his own
party wishes this asshole would disappear.
Al, is an arrogant pinhead.
Ha! He’s our attorney general.
You have got to be fucking kidding me.
I kinda like Larry King, he looks a little like Beavis to
me and Cheney makes a swell Butthead come to think of
it.
Or is it the other way around?
Anyway. Larry does the best he can but he’s no
journalist. That’s not saying much. He’s the CNN
equivalent of people magazine.
Some of the most honest journalists on TV are comedians. That’s sad
but I’m grateful for them. They’ll end up folk heroes.
I don’t doubt that this dumbing down is
deliberate. For the sake of brevity, let me just share
that my conviction is primarily a result of my not being
a dipshit.
Yet, Americans are complicit. Despite the designs of the
evil empire, our acquiescence is the fusion that makes
a combustion almost inevitable.
It sickens me to watch the lazy minded imbibe the sanitized zeitgeist offered up by a mainstream media so infected with hubris and powerlust that they don’t even have time for what’s actually important and maybe even germane to the events of right fucking now.
They are far too busy emptying drool buckets and getting us to buy shit that’s either of no use, bad for us, or both.
What I’m saying here is that combustion is upon us.
It’s happening.
There is an unjust and virtually unexplainable war. There is real potential for much, much more. Half our damn navy is in or around the Gulf.
Kids. If this one starts, it’s gonna be huge.
Our economy is showing the first fractures in a series
of events that will end up being sustainable only by a
class of working poor and a class of impossibly
wealthy.
Highest foreclosure rate in decades. Banks and
lending institutions starting to panic over their
depth in the subprime lending market. Inflation is here. Unavoidable
after the surge in oil.
Then there’s the fact that as a country, we owe more
than we make.
Don’t forget that everyone loathes us. Don’t forget, the rest of the world factors in our meat puppet president when evaluating us.
Actually, remember that the rest of the world hates us.
By design the middle will implode. The now heavy Top
will collapse on the Bottom and the Middle will spray
out of all four sides.
As the the social and moral pendulum swings back to
the left, to the West, the yang to the yin continues
it’s long planned trajectory east, towards the twelfth
century.
According to schedule, we’ll be completely powerless by the time we’re liberated.
Unless we’re careful.
Drinks for my friends.

I am sick to death of all the excuses. Not feasible. Too much of a distraction. We don’t have the votes. I am afraid. It’s too much of a longshot and what about the backlash if we fail? Do I look fat?

Impeach them now and start with Cheney.

Our Founding Fathers faced far more formidable odds. They didn’t question whether it was doable. They had no choice because their collective conscience wouldn’t allow them to do anything but what was right.

The leaders of the civil rights movement faced incredibly vicious opposition and it was never a factor in their motivation to pursue justice. If anything, they were emboldened by it because it was proof of their righteousness.

Our executive leader and vice executive have clearly and consistently violated what is probably the most important document and system of beliefs ever produced, consented and adhered to by humankind.

I’m talking about The Constitution of The United States of America.

The fight against them them should be tireless, indefatigable, focused and unswerving. Instead we are are told that it’s not an appropriate time and it may be politically inconvenient to storm the fortress these arrogant men of lust, greed and glory hide inside of.

Are you kidding me?

History is filled with people who fought for the right thing, regardless the chances of prevailing. Despite personal risk of even death. The blood that has been spilled in defense of these concepts would fill the very chambers our elected representatives work in every day to the point where it would erupt from every window and door in every office building on capitol hill like a gusher of oil powerful enough to blacken the sky.

Tyranny is simply not acceptable and tyranny is what we have.

Tyranny: arbitrary or unrestrained exercise of power; despotic abuse of authority. -dictionary.com

Now you tell me, Mrs. Pelosi, Mr. Reid, Mrs. Feinstein, Mrs. Boxer and Mr. Conyers, what are you waiting for? What about you, Mr. Specter or you Mr Leahy? Is it just not a good time? Are you afraid you might not prevail?

Mrs. Clinton and Mr. Obama, are you too busy with your campaigns to participate in what future generations may very well judge to be the tipping point in America’s history? The point where too few did too little and our once great nation was allowed by virtue of your inaction to slide into chaos , perpetual war and perpetual raping of economies and ecosystems for the avarice of the few?

The inevitable conclusion finds the Earth a scorched and radioactive cinder that orbits the sun for thousands of years doing it’s damndest as a mother to repair the damage and never produce offspring as terrible and destructive as human beings again.

Wouldn’t you rather wake up one morning knowing you at least tried to do what was right as opposed to doing nothing because you were afraid?

Or that it wasn’t convenient?

The great unwashed are awake. In ever increasing numbers they are asking, demanding, that you put petty business aside and do the right thing on behalf of them that put you there.

Fear is an excellent force multiplier, if you continue to do nothing, it will at the very least, bite you in the ass. If you’re not careful, it will leave you in a desperate wake.

WE THE PEOPLE implore you to stop this.

Further reading

Now go here and do the right thing.

As most of you know, I enjoy working a little blue. You know, rampant vulgarity to shithammer my point home? I restrained myself this time while trying to provide for those of you who can’t be bothered to construct sentences and stuff.

I would be proud if you followed that last link from Josh and sent the text as it appears above to your elected representatives. If not, I would still be pleased if you took advantage of the very articulate ones Josh has been kind enough to provide.

Promise to look for me when I go missing……….

Drinks for my friends.

There is seldom more dangerous a thing than a stupid and misgiuded man who still has the courage of his convictions. When such a man is the leader of our country and by what is now a cruel default, the free world, you can bet your ass “We the people” are in serious trouble.

What are we going to do? Can we afford another sixteen months of this lawless and compassionless chaos? Our narrow eyed idiot leader thinks he’s doing God’s work. He says he talks to God, God talks to him and that is his unassailable consent to do as he pleases.

I must confess that even to this day, I don’t believe George W. Bush is a bad guy. Stupid? Yes. Perhaps even midly retarded, if only as a result of alcohol and cocaine abuse. Yet, I’d have few drinks with him. Enjoy myself while making fun at his expense; him none the wiser, of course. Sue me, poking fun at the willfully ignorant or just plain mentally challenged is a hobby of mine. I can’t help it, and really, they don’t know.

Now, am I of the opinion that everyone behind him is evil? Well, that’s an emphatic and adamant, Are You Fucking Kidding Me? Rove and Cheney are so black of heart and soul that light struggles to reflect off of their nearly hairless crowns. I sometimes wonder if they show up so infrequently in the media and on television because the cost of lighting their ugly and twisted visages is too exorbitant for all but the richest right wing media conglomerates.

I really hate those pricks.

Yesterday, we learned that the White House, which allows no light to escape, tirelessly invoked executive privilege yet again over d o c u m e n t s pertaining to the death of Patrick Tillman. Remember the lantern jawed member of the NFL that selflessly sacrificed his life for his country? A new low.

All reptiles have spines don’t they? Just exactly how does a vertebrate dance the Limbo so expertly? I mean, they’ve moved the bar so low that single celled organisms struggle to squeeze under it.

Labelling this latest act of douchebaggerry “Orwellian” insults the author. This is “Tales From The Crypt”. It is the stuff of fucking comic books. Shitty ones for nine year olds. With lots of places for you to color however you want.

You have got to be fucking kidding me.

Just one day before this, we learn Dumbya has ordered Harriet Miers, perhaps the least qualified individual to ever be nominated to the Supreme Court and former White House counsel, not to appear in front of the house judiciary committee after being subpoenaed to testify about the so far completely unexplained firings of eight federal prosecutors.

Apparently, not a single person in the entire Dick-in-Bush administration can remember who fired these people or why.

Gonzales, the now titular head of the DOJ, can’t remember a goddamn thing. He stinks. Forgive me, but this motherfucker stinks. He wears carp guts. His pockets runneth over with chum. Torture, illegal wiretapping, firing prosecutors who couldn’t find dirt on Democrats for voter fraud, he’s been there for all of it. All of it. He thinks the Geneva Conventions are “quaint”.

The day before that, Sara M. Taylor, former White House political director, answered whatever the fuck she felt like and didn’t answer whatever the fuck she didn’t feel like, after being subpoenaed by the same committee.

“In light of the president’s direction, I will answer faithfully those questions that are appropriate for a private citizen to answer, while also doing my best to respect the president’s directive that his staff’s communication be privileged.”

You have got to be fucking kidding me.

Also, on the day before yesterday, Dumbya admitted for the very first time, that “somebody” in his administration leaked the name of covert CIA operative Vallery Plame to the press, but whatever, it’s time to “move on”.

All in the last week dear reader.

I have an idea. It’s called impeachment.

Nixon, all arrogant and sloppy, covered up a burglary. Mr. Clinton got what I’m guessing was a pretty good and maybe even rockstar style hoovering, wiped his sword on the young woman’s dress and covered it up. Albeit, briefly.

We’ll be at a million dead here pretty soon. The number of those not dead but still pretty fucked goes up every day too.

I really fucking hate these guys.

Drinks for my friends.

They just don’t get it. Iraqi troops don’t show up in
other places because their concern doesn’t reach
beyond their own neighborhoods.

We simply don’t understand fuck all after four fucking
years.

It’s criminal that we did what we did. That we
invaded for no goddamn reason.

It’s fucktardingly, reCOCKulously and immorally absurd
that we did it without the slightest fucking clue as
to what to plan for or even expect.

Over and over again I’m blind sided by these haymakers
of stupidity, arrogance, hubris and avarice.

They are firmly planted, and unable to dance at all, in a
gunnysack of dipshitedness. Yet, they must be nuclear
powered, because they just keep swinging for all the
world like they have four arms.

And they shuffle ever forward. Like fucking zombies.

Executive priveledge on documents pertaining to obviously illegal wiretapping, energy task force meetings, 911 testimony without an oath to tell the truth, The Vice executive doesn’t belong to the executive branch, executive priveledge on documents pertaining to firing federal prosecutors for not pursuing baseless voter fraud against Democrats and everyday they just insist everything is going great, while we watch it all implode in slow motion.

These guys are really good and I motherfucking hate them.

It is maddening to watch.

This brings us to the “opposition”. The Democrats.

Non-binding resolutions, grandiose but trivial lines
in the sand, and one swing, just one, at a defense
spending bill for 120 billion dollars that we don’t
have. After one try, they rolled over and showed us
their mottled bellies.

Ten democrats voted their conscience that day. Ten out of forty nine. You have got be fucking kidding me.

These people were elected for a reason. That reason
was crystal godamn clear.

The very first political campaign I ever worked in was
for now Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid. He was
running for Lt. Governor of Nevada. He lost to Paul
Laxalt by a little over six hundred votes. I think I
was nine.

What is going on here? Hillary and Obama lead the
pack in contributions from big pharma this quarter? These two have
long since been to the crossroads and inked a deal with the dude with glowing red eyes in the stovepipe hat. I will vote for neither in the primary.

I’m done. I’m not throwing in the towel. I’m taking
the gloves off. No more of this lesser of two evils
horseshit. If I don’t like the choices on the ballot,
I’ll write in a candidate. Larry Bud Melman or Bill
Maher depending on my mood.

I wrote a letter today to both my senators and my
congressman (Boxer, Feinstein and Howard L. Berman,
respectively), it said that I would vote for whomever their
opponents ended up being in the next election if they
did not get off their asses and do something.
Something about the fucking war. Something about
holding these sonsabitches responsible for their
CRIMES.

Enough is Enough.

It’s gotten to the point where just about everyone but
the incurably and willfully stupid realize that we are
taking it in the ass.

And the people we hired to deal with these things act
like we are not here.

Mrs. Pelosi, I’m quite thrilled that you punched
through the glass ceiling and occupy the highest
position of any woman ever. Really happy for you. I
will actively campaign against you and for Cindy
Sheehan if you do not get off your ass and lead.

See, when we put you there, we did it because we
expected you to DO something. To do one thing. So far,
you really suck at it.

I fear that if they don’t take us seriously, they will
be forced to deal with anarchy. The weak among you
will be forced onto your backs. A good number will run rampant.

I have no intention of rolling over.

No more rules, school is out for summer.

They can’t hear us.

Yet.

Drinks for my friends.

An update of matters concerning inmate number 28301016

John Conyers from the 14th Congressional District of Michigan has announced that he will investigate the use/misuse of presidential powers of clemency. The republicans hate this guy. He knows all about Iowa and now he has juice.

This is about Dumbya taking Libby off the clothesline. It was gettin’ mighty windy, if Dumbya didn’t do something quick, Scooter’s head was gonna commence to whistle.

It’s great theater. Yesterday, tongues wagged and spittle flew. Today, Tony Snow danced like a corpse inhabited by a poltergeist. He called it “routine”. It was beyond ridiculous. Poor bastard.

The democrats have actually siezed on the one aspect so obviously germane to the big goddamn picture for once. Hillary, Dodd and Biden are all actually taking this head on. They say it ain’t right because Dumbya did it to save Cheney’s pork rind ass.

At first I was impressed, now I’m a little nonplussed. They couldn’t Man Up on war spending but they’re pissed about Scooter.

That’s kinda disingenuous. Hillary and Obama were among the handful who voted against the latest war funding bill. They just didn’t want anyone to know about it. I’m guessing both are afraid of being kicked in the vagina?

Maybe the blind, wet and shivering democrats are beginning to realize that the Machiavellian cancer in the corridors of White House power is one Richard Bruce Cheney. Just maybe, they now understand that he is therefore, the heel of Achilles.

Cut off the head and so dies the body.

I’m torn, I’m encouraged that they’ve grabbed this bull by the horns. Yet, it won’t suprise me to see them flopping in the soil because they never thought about digging in and hanging on.

Life imitates art; it’s Revenge of The Fucking Nerds.

Drinks for my friends.

Unbelievable. Or, well, maybe not.

From Air Force One Dumbya phoned in an order to commute the sentence of inmate #28301016, you may know him better as I. Lewis “Scooter” Libby, Jr. Scapegoat. Fall guy. Patsy.

The spokesholes raved and their spittle did fly.

Think the Dick-in-Bush regime are a little cranky about having their asses handed to them over their ham fisted, neanderthaloid attempts at immigration reform?

Sitting presidents typically exercise such options at the end of their tenure, when they have little left to lose.

It did give me pause, yet it was fleeting. The raw hubris on display was initially extraordinary. I admit that I was in awe at the sociopathic insolence upon hearing of it. After all, when first asked about it, Dumbya vowed to get to the bottom of it; he said he’d fire anyone responsible.

Methinks he said that because he was woefully out of the loop and didn’t have a clue as to what he should say. Poor stupid fuck that he is, he defaulted to a domestic version of “smoke ’em out”.

Ever notice how close together his eyes are?

Anyway, I then had an ephiphany the size of a slap to the forehead. These fucks still have a lot to lose.

Libby was convicted of lying to the FBI and a grand jury AND of obstructing justice. This was Darth Cheney’s chief of staff. This was about the lies told by this administration to sell us on an unjust war. Hundreds of thousands of people died over the lies this sniveling fucktard got caught covering up.

He, is the ultimate insider, privy to the entire landfill.

The lies themselves were never really revealed, they sure as fuck were never prosecuted. Now the somnambulant among you won’t be able to see where I’m going with this. I trust the rest of you will.

See that speck over there? When you first spot it you think it’s a pelican or something. Just bobbing. Maybe it’s asleep.

As the ship approaches, it shocks with it’s exponential increase. All the sudden, it’s the goddamn Matterhorn.

What it is, is the tip of the proverbial iceberg. Inmate #28301016 sits astride it like Slim Pickens on an atomic bomb in that Kubrick flick.

They had to cut this little fucker a deal, unlike the other parade of patsies, If he sings they are vapor. Trust me, he knows everything. More than a few of us know more than a little of it, but this guy can prove virtually all of it.

Wonder why he went down in the firstplace? I’ll quote myself from last month, June 12, 2007-the year of our lord:

“See kids, here’s the deal. Gonzales is the bulkhead protecting Rove and Cheney on this issue. The same way Rumsfeld was on a completely different issue. The same way Libby was. The same way Peter Pace was. Or Powell, Ashcroft, DeLay and Wolfowitz. Heard much from Condi lately? Bitch.”

Lest any of you be overly zealous in pointing out the sheer testicle mass revealed in this act by Dumbya, understand it is really quite the opposite. This was done out of genuine and legitimate fear that we’d all see the naked emperor, shriveled, purple puss leaking phallus and all.

God I hate these guys.

Drinks for my friends.

Imagine if you will, a world where that fucking lizard Cheney has been impeached.

I doubt it would come to that, but what if our legislators, under extreme pressure and heat, developed tungsten spines and brought gravity to bear on our arsonists laureate? So much so that our man Darth was forced to walk?

The will, the very fiber of the Republican party would be disrupted like DNA exposed to massive nuclear radiation. The good, the bad and the ugly of the neoconserative to moderate Right wing would excrete a little gore, some mucus, and leave a trail of ash.

Rudderless.

They would have no idea what’s next because these days they look at Dick-in-Bush for what not to do as much as for what to do. Hard to believe they still stare so hard at that map, even while their eyes begin to resemble it’s random snaking red arteries.

Already lost and clawing. Taking jackasses like Mit Romney and Fred Thompson seriously.

The Republican party is more bereft of intellectual and therefore ideological purity than ever before.

We on the Left seem to have a glut of glad handing superhuman fundraisers. Shameless, spineless paper tiger/whores. This last quarter, Obama raised thirty two million fucking dollars. He smoked the Clinton machine.

We are now them and they are us.

“I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together. See how they run like pigs from a gun, see how they fly. I’m crying.” -I Am The Walrus.

The Left has Kucinich, and the Right has Ron Paul. Two men who, right or wrong, have the courage of their convictions. Neither has a snowflake’s chance in hell on an August day in a borosilicate kiln. Not going to happen. One can only hope they are able to steer the debate a little before wafting away as vapor.

It may very well be time to shrug these petty notions of left and right, of black and white.

Defining the difference between good and bad is not something we should aspire to, it’s what we should engage in. It is there that we should take our sticks and rifles to draw lines. That is the distinction we should pursue.

Ideology may just be for the stupid. It is without a doubt for the ignorant.

The sane among us are well aware of the difference between right and wrong. Ocassionally it may require an assessment of our own hearts and our own minds, but with the sane, the truth inevitably prevails.

What’s it going to take for deliverance? Steadfast adherance to truth, justice and the American way?

It has long since ceased to be a matter of partisan concerns. Quite some time ago, it emerged as a struggle of right versus wrong.

It is time to act accordingly. Move beyond the labels.

“Semolina pilchard, climbing up the Eiffel Tower.
Elementary penguin singing Hari Krishna.
Man, you should have seen them kicking Edgar Allan Poe.
I am the eggman, they are the eggmen.
I am the walrus, goo goo g’joob g’goo goo g’joob.
Goo goo g’joob g’goo goo g’joob g’goo.”

The state of our union is a comedy to those who think and a tragedy to those who feel.

I borrowed part of that last bit from a guy named Horace Walpole.

Drinks for my friends.

I just now remembered that one day, five or seven
years ago, a friend unknowingly demonstrated that had no idea how to pet a cat. He patted and stroked The Gurry awkwardly, without any
rythm. This, despite the fact that he had two of his own. It
was obvious that the pleasure of the cat was not even
in the periphery of the moment for him.

For reasons unrelated, I now think of this guy as a complete douchebag.

I’ve never been able to write a damn thing in
longhand. The tempo is all wrong. I must have a
keyboard. Plus, I loathe the physical act of writing.
Filling out a check or the return address on an
envelope represents a major pain in the ass to me.
I hate deposit slips.

As a kid I was fascinated by the maginfying effect of
water. I kept all manner of things submerged in
glasses and jars full of water. Rocks, marbles,
cereal box toys, coins……………

I can actually see sounds. What a cool thing it is to
have made records and then listen to them.
“Swallowing colrs of the sounds I hear” -Ozzy

I used to think most people weren’t stupid, they just
failed to pay attention. Now I’m not so sure. I
catch myself not paying attention and I’m not stupid.

The difference between Rosie and Paris is that Rosie
stands for something. It matters not how foolish or wise.
Paris is held aloft by our collective gasp, whether it
be in disgust, dismay or disbelief.

Dick Cheney is the most evil motherfucker to ever SERVE AT THE PLEASURE OF THE AMERICAN PEOPLE. This is because he has never given a mad fuck about a single one of us. I fucking hate him and his little dog Dumbya too.

Sorry. Yay team.

Lewis Black on Stewart just said that a fake news show on Fox should show real news. I love this guy. I love that Stewart won’t let the latest Cheney hubris go. Way to go my little Jack Russel Terrier.

Coors Light has labels that turn white mountains blue when the bottle reaches an acceptable temperature for consumption. Genius.

CNN 360 with Andy C has been rockin the enviromental tip of late. Good for them. Andy himself endeavors to be remembered for never having spake the name of America’s favorite heiress. You gotta love that.

By the way, the last five or seven blogs I’ve posted have all included records I produced, recorded and or mixed in the ‘tell us what you’re listening to’ section. I used to be cool.

My shrink and I have had numerous protracted conversations about social networking via the internet and my level of participation in said. She’s careful to focus on the role it plays in my overall social sphere and she never strays into the pejorative.

It’s days like today that provide the most petite of ephinanies. I understand her emphasis, now that I cannot send or recieve messages on myspace and I want to kill harmless birds with a fork.

I honestly feel a low frequency shittiness right now.

Myspace is a pretty vital communication conduit for me. I interact with a lot of people every day on it. I’ve made good friends, rediscovered old ones and even found hot women to make out with and buy dinner for. I’m somewhere over twenty two thousand hits on my blogs.

It’s like I bit my tongue or pissed myself. It won’t go away.

And oh my, it is indeed darkest before the dawn. The lord taketh away and he giveth. The storm was violent and it did so raineth and bloweth on the land, as to have us believe our demise was imminent. Yet at the last possible moment, when my streets were awash and my infants in danger of being swept away, the clouds did part and the sun did more than showeth.

Seems like my goddamn mail is finally working again.

Takes pistol out of mouth and places it on table pointing away.

Drinks for my friends.

Audacious, ostentatious douchebaggery of the most
egregious kind. It is with quaking awe, in the most
enormous shadow of sociopathic hubris I have yet to
witness, that I bring this to you:

Richard Bruce Cheney has declared the office of Vice
President to be not of the executive branch and
therefore exempt from not only revealing secrets, but
revealing how many secrets they have chosen not to
reveal. This, in direct conflict with an executive
order signed by his puppet boss, Dumbya, in 2003.

“Transparently silly…………….It’s obvious that
the Vice President’s office is part of the executive
branch and to claim otherwise is preposterous”-Steven
Aftergood from The Federation of American Scientists.

“Your position was that your office ‘does not believe
it is included in the definition of ‘agency’ as set
forth in the Order’ and ‘does not consider itself an
‘entity within the executive branch’ that comes into
the possession of classified information,'” a National
Archives official claims Cheney chief of staff David
Addington wrote to him.-rawstory.com

The constitution establishes the office of Vice
President as being part of the executive branch under
article two, section one.

It cracks me the fuck up that so many secrets have
been kept under the notions of executive privilege and
power by this administration and Cheney in particular.

Forgive me, but fuck this fucking miserable fuck. The
second highest office in the executive branch of
American government and this dickhead declares it not
to be of said branch at all because he is president of
the senate as well?

I soooo cannot wait for his evil, black and purple
mass leaking puss like custard organ to detonate like
a rotting pie dropped from a lighting rig onto the
stage of a theater under a cold spotlight. Just who
does this maggot glistening piece of reptile shit
think he is?

Sorry about this, but you have got be fucking kidding
me.

He hid behind executive privilege to keep from you and
I what was talked about in this nation’s energy policy
meetings and even who was there. That’s just one
example of his hiding behind what he now rejects. For
what it’s worth, executive withholding under privilege
is typically only brought to bear by the executive
himself. And gas is near four bucks a gallon while
Exxon, the world’s richest corporation posts profits
that shatter all records.

These guys are good.

Still. Why? You so blatantly violate an executive
order signed by the very man who’s ass you have at
least one of your appendages up and tickling throat at
all times?

Dick has A LOT to hide.

Wierd, but if there’s a fissure, Dumbya doesn’t stand
a chance and he knows it. By now, he owns that he’s
stupid. He may even be starting to recognize the
profound ineptness of the eggheads around him.

Kinda makes you wonder if Dumbya is starting to get a
little sore, even though he’s ridin cowgirl. See, he
thought if he was on top, it wouldn’t hurt .

Dumbass.

Pun intended.

Man I hate these guys.

Drinks for my friends.

So, the no confidence vote on Gonzales went down like
a flaming depleted uranium Zeppelin yesterday in the
Senate.

Big suprise.

Ooooh. The jackass party was able to achieve lockstep
for an action that was completely symbolic. Ahhhh!

Yet with barely a glance from the great unwashed, it’s
eggshell skull was dashed upon the rocks and sensitive
brains were washed away like scrambled embryos. Eggs, I mean.

Most who’s heads were opened in the fray were already inflicted with advanced scoliosis. A few lacked spines entirely but their floating visages were held aloft by the power of knowing that what they chose to do on this day didn’t matter a bit. After all, it was a foregone conclusion and no one was watching.

Paris was back in the pokey!

Their bravery and conviction would make my lips
quiver, if I had a fucking vagina!!

Do I care if Gonzales takes the dirt nap? I realize it doesn’t matter because they’ll just plug in another asshole. They’ll probably end up amputating one prong from whoever the poor bastard is because the neocons are a two prong receptacle. They lack a seperate ground. I digress.

Fuck yes I’d like to see that scheming, hopelessly corrupt, sociopathic, dickless excuse for wearing a suit, spiral into shame and oblivion. Maybe we can trump up some child molestation charges and send him to a state prison in Texas.

Really. Wow. Our legislative branch was not even
able to label the most overt stumblefuck of the
Dick-in-Bush administration a fucktard today. He counts as the most overt one because former superstars like Rumsfeld are gone.

What’s Rummy up to? Growing herbs in a window box and maybe a little model ship building?

“A waste of time”, the elephants of the GOP had to
say.

“Republican Minority Leader Mitch McConnell chided
Democrats for ‘spending our time on a meaningless
resolution about giving the president advice about who
the attorney general ought to be.’

-from Bloomberg.

It occurs to me that the legislative branch ought get
involved when the blind and ignorant or evil and all knowing executive branch dogmatically and stubbornly supports a complete loser.

I mean, according to his own testimony, Albert with a
0 (that’s a zero kids) can’t remember what his dick looks like. What he
likes in his coffee or if we’re all created equal.

See kids, here’s the deal. Gonzales is the bulkhead protecting Rove and Cheney on this issue. The same way Rumsfeld was on a completely different issue. The same way Libby was. The same way Peter Pace was. Or Powell, Ascroft, DeLay and Wolfowitz. Heard much from Condi lately? Bitch.

I typically write these rants once I’ve worked up a
head of steam, gotten my mad on, if you will. Tonight,
not so much. I’m not suprised and can barely manage
disappointed.

Let me take another run at this.

This guy is a global embarrassment. He’s a fucking
pawn. Everyone, and I mean every one, knows what this
sycophantic automaton is about. And it’s sick, that
this piece of shit gamepiece enjoys the blanket of
neoconservative warmth. That he who is supposed to
embody justice fights so obstinately against it. This
greasy prick showed up with with Andy Card at
Ashcroft’s bedside when he was fighting for his own
worthless life, to twist his arm into allowing our
Aronists Laureate to do whatever the fuck they wanted
to do to you and me.

He doesn’t recall any of it.

Before this bastard was the law of the land he was
chief waterboy at the pissing end of Dick-in-Bush. As
White House Counsel he wrote that which he is now in
charge of defending at the pleasure of Dumbya.

This is all disturbing and profoundly disgusting on a day when Paris Hilton commands more attention than any of what I’m
pontificating about. It makes me sure that at least
in some way, we deserve it.

We do actually. We’ve allowed a scenario where our
very own elected representatives are more beholdin’ to a single
party and its jingoistic disease of dogma than the constituents at who’s pleasure they’re supposed to serve. Pricks.

Just like our military, our congress, our executives, our values, our morals, our ethics, just like all of them, our judiciary and the office of Attorney General of the United States is rent asunder. Scorched, perhaps irreparably.

Bobby Kennedy held that office and it may have cost him his life.

If that wasn’t the beginning of the end I don’t know what was.

Everyone besides Dick-in-Bush understands that this
pooch is screwed. Gangraped, from hell to
breakfast. Nine ways to Sunday. It’s over. We broke
it. Possession is ours.

Our fault.

Drinks for my friends.

“Got one foot out the door
Time to hit the road
Ain’t no match for your mean ol’ man
I think it’s time to roll”-Van Halen

Is Richardson sporting a toop?

I liked Biden’s anger and conviction on Darfur.

The tone was actually good. The issues were appropriate.

It was, dare I say, somewhat informative. Gasp!

Understand, this is my sports. Beyond my altruistic and civic concerns, there exists a prurient interest as well. I like that Edwards came out swinging.

Obama and Clinton were of stately composure. Neither looking to pick a fight. Both, willing and able to trade punches.

Kucinich did well. He’s catching a little fire. He rocked the convention yesterday. Did you see his wife? The fact that she needs to lean down to talk to him makes him just a little cooler in my book. Underdog. Yet, a mouse that is roaring. I like this man.

I understand she has a tongue ring. Sheezus. Everyone from Martha and Joe Bob to Nathaniel and Felicity are gonna have serious reservations about a First Lady with a hole in her tongue and an ornament hanging out of it.

Thus far this pale little soup smelling vegetarian has my vote. He looks the least presidential but he has gargantuan balls. There’s a fine line between clever and stupid. A narrower swath than you would imagine between courage and idiocy.

This man is very brave and very smart.

I’m watching CNN on a Tivo delay so I just heard some asshole who used to work for Romney and McCain say Kucinich is completely irrelevant.

Look, I understand it’s early and I understand that my horse is looking like a gelding among a handful of very fast stallions. But this man is the real deal. He’s the only one to speak truth to power. He says impeach Cheney, pull the troops now, he calls out the big insurance and pharma lobbies on health care, his voting record is proof of a man with the courage of his convictions.

The best I can realistically hope for is that he gains some ground as America wakes up and therefore, a little more mass. Just enough to hang in there for awhile, enough to steer the national dialog.

Either way, he has my vote. I’m so fucking done with the lesser of two evils. Fuck pragmatic in the neck. I think it’s time to stretch. This hasn’t been good enough for a long time.

Despite the idea of Mr Kucinich winning the nomination being akin to betting an infant won’t fill it’s britches with mustard colored shit, He can and should be a pivot in this process.

Speaking of shit, he and his people will require lungs that can refine it into oxygen. They are going to have to positively brawl to keep this spunky little bastard relevant. To do that, they’ll all need to embrace the big picture. He will not get the nomination. And he will not be invited to be a running mate. But he still may be the most important horse in this race.

He is the only one not politicking. The only one not fucking around. The only one saying exactly what he thinks and intends to do if given the chance. He pledges to go after NAFTA and the WTO. He’ll end the war and impliment a truly green energy policy.

This man is not here to fuck around.

Neither am I. Absent some clusterfuck involving his integrity, Dennis Kucinich has my vote.

Please pay attention.

Drinks for my friends.

So, it’s Memorial Day.

Happy Memorial Day.

What’s that supposed to mean?

No matter which side of the the current conflict you’re on, how could anyone possibly be happy about it?

Today we’re supposed to reflect on and be grateful for those who have served and survived as well as those who have fallen. I am. I am grateful. It is a sacrifice that I cannot imagine.

I remember my uncle Danny. He came to stay with us after serving in Vietnam and an honorable discharge from the army. I was five or six. He was quiet but happy to be home. We slept in the same room and the dial of his radium painted watch glowed perpetually in the dark. He had a bullet scar on his shoulder. He was the youngest of my mother’s ten siblings.

A number of my uncles were in the military and even a few cousins. My father’s brother fought, my father was declared 4F. Besides my father’s brother Eldon, who fought in WWII and whom I didn’t really know, uncle Danny was the only one in my extended family to see combat.

Funny how they both ended up abusing alcohol.

As far as I know, he’s uttered aproximately two sentences about it in forty years. I was present for one of those sentences last summer at a family renunion. I was drunk and so was he, I don’t remember what he said.

I then got drunker with cousins Angie, Todd, Rob, shithead Rod, Derrick my coolest inlaw cousin and his wife Marlow………….it goes on and on. Tyke and Bobby, Fred and Sharon, John and Jody, Birdy and Ken, Jim and Carlene, Uncle Larry and Und uncle Skip (Skid), Shirley and Bob…………….It was a big ass collection of at least half crazy white people in the woods of eastern Washington State. You would not have wanted to stumble into that camp after dark if you were a stranger. Most of the Hardings keep a gun close by and so do most of the inlaws. I digress.

Uncle Danny is the sum of my experience with a combat veteran. Like I said, he hasn’t had much to say.

So I’ve got no legitimate personal stake in this. But it really chaps my ass. It’s wrong. Everyone is starting to realize it. Finally.

Once you buy that it’s a lie, and that’s a crucial step because it is, there’s really not much left other than the loss of life.

The emperor is naked and really disgusting to look at. He and his administration are why everyone is dying and having their limbs blown off and brains spilling out of their fucking heads.

The world used to love us because of our global exploits in the name of “Freedom”. Now, they hate us.

Newsflash you asshats: They don’t hate us because of Rosie O’donnell, they hate us because of Dick-in-Bush. And so do I.

Just yesterday I heard some fucktard on the radio trying to make a case for Rosie not supporting the troops and equating them to terrorists. This empty, jingoistic, rhetorical whaleshit is beginning to fossilize.

In other words, that dog don’t hunt. That brush don’t hold no paint. I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say that if you disagree with the previous two sentiments, you’re either stupid or ignorant. Perhaps willfully ignorant, a fate worse than passing a stone.

It’s all over but the dying. How long that goes on is up to our elected and our ability to sneak smoldering coals into their anal clefts.

Nearly thirty thousand Americans wounded and approaching thirty five hundred dead. Estimates of Iraqi dead are well north of a half million. Nothing accomplished and for no fucking reason. In fact, not only nothing accomplished but an actual deficit in that regard.

This is really stupid and so are we. I agree with Sean Penn. They should all be in fucking jail for what they have done.

Drinks for my friends. Happy holiday.

Disclaimer: Although what I’m about to pontificate at
length upon is purposefully incendiary and willfully
derogatory, to say that democrats are bad is to
presuppose republicans are not only worse, but far
more obtuse and cowardly.

Anyway.

I’m fucking sick of spineless democrats.
When high noon spanks the day, they wring their hands
and flee with nervous puke leaking and spraying from
their lips.

Yesterday, a war funding bill was passed by our
legislative branch and it was absent any mention of a
timetable. Not even a hint or a sigh about when we
may consider an end to this madness.

I expected that.

What has my panties in a bundle, not to mention a
cluster of cacti in my anal cleft, is the fact that
the vote in the House was 86 to 194 and the vote in
the Senate was 14 to 80.

The ’06 elections were a clear clarion for sea change.
The callow and confused freshmen of the jackass party
were afforded the priviledge of office for various
reasons, the most of which was an implied promise to
put an end to this mendacity propelled violence and to
at least try to steer us from the impending global
clusterfuck.

Here’s a few more numbers for ya:
Bush 28%
Cheney 9%
Support for the war 29%
Support for withdrawl 60+%

Allow me to cut to the chase in case you’re slow. At
the end of yesterday, the legislative math was nearly
the polar opposite of the will of the people. What
planet are these assholes on and who the fuck do they
imagine themselves to be?

Yes, planes hit the towers. No, they didn’t knock
them down.

George Bush doesn’t hate black people. Unless they’re
poor.

Karl Rove and Dick Cheney are far more evil than
stupid. Unfortunately, that’s a mouthful that will
leave you gagging and heaving.

While Dick-in-Bush usurp control of the judicial
branch, our newly elected legislative branch throws a
clot and collapses into a malingering puddle of liquid
shit.

The truth is this. People are dying in ever
accelerating numbers for what is certainly one of the
greatest lies ever told. Finally, Americans are
forced to see this woman for what she is; a pink eyed, snot snouted, sticky, filth festooned, garishly made up pig in tattered fishnets and fuck me pumps that it cannot even cross a room in.

Yep, if it wasn’t so profoundly goddam tragic it would be sick
fucking funny.

10 democrats voted nay in the Senate and 140 in the
House. All the rest voted in a state of fear, avarice
and stupidity.

Drinks for my friends.

We now know that the Attorney General of the United States of America is a goddamn liar. Last week, James Comey detailed a mad dash he made to beat Gonzales and Andrew Card to one seriously ill John Ashcroft’s bedside to give him the heads up.

See, Comey was the acting AG at the time and he beat the Whitehouse Chief of Staff and the Whitehouse Counsel to the hospital. Ashcroft and Comey agreed that Dick-in-Bush were indeed breaking the law, they had been for two and a half years.

Then the Frothing Blackhats entered stage right. They commenced to vociferously and with elaborate indignity demand a reversal of the Judicial check to the Executive imbalance

Ashcroft and Comey were in agreement and they told the Blackhats to piss up a fucking rope.

Ha! Ashcroft, that crazy wierd little bastard has principles. Who knew?

Oh and, Comey had Robert Mueller with him. Mueller was the director of the FBI and he was a bit of a right wing jackass. He was there to insure that Comey not be removed. The Head Cheese of The Effa-Bee-Eye had sided with Ashcroft and Comey against the Whitehouse.

***********************************************************************

Ladies and Gentlemen:

There has been a slight emergency, a very minor constitutional crisis if you will. We just need to insure that there are no more hard right, rich neoconservatives left in the theater.

Ok, good. They’re all gone.

The lights stop flashing. The alarms go silent.

Enjoy the film.

The venue dims and we see Barbara Streisand working in an abortion clinic.

The theater fills with smoke and then flame. The liberals wail like children. Like little girls.

We now return you to our regularly…………..

************************************************************************

The date that law required the document to be endorsed passed. The Whitehouse informed the Department of Justice that it was going ahead with it’s now officially illegal domestic spying program.

See, the Blackhat Gang are headed up by Pa Cheney and Ma Rove and there’s not a mad fuck between them when it comes to what Americans need, what’s best for us or what our WILL is. They just don’t care.

What happened next was inspiringly crazy. With balls the size of casabas wrought from an alloy so pure as to allow each pair to clang in key, our heroes walked in stride and formed a chord.

Ashcroft, Mueller, Comey and various members of their respective staffs made it clear that they were willing to shoot it out with the Blackhat Gang. They did so by threatening to resign and therefore, talk about why they walked.

Are our cowboys heroes? Nope. They’d all been fitted for and owned at least one very Black hat. They were members of the Gang. What they did was turn ‘Yella’.

Should we be grateful?

You fuckin-A we should.

And that lying Prick Gonzales, said there was no internecine conflict or debate even, over an issue that is certainly among the most important in our history. He is dissonant. Tone deaf.

All of the Blackhats are deaf or damn near. That’s why they talk so loud.

Drinks for my friends.

I’m kinda aggravated. But I don’t have much. To say,
that is. Well, that’s not true.

I mean, Oprah’s getting hotter. She really is. If
you see her, tell her I said that. Tell her I like
her hair.

Dick-in-Bush swung the veto at the damp end of a
shriveled phallus today. With a retarded, clenched
orifice resolve, they smote the will of the people, as
well as the legislative arm of the republic.

Struck down, was the rather popular notion that we get
the fuck out of Iraq, because it was a mistake to
begin with and because most of us (not me), bought the
lie.

Let he who hath understanding, reckon the number of
the beast. For it is a human number. It’s number is
28%.

These guys are starting to really look like clowns.
Tenet is on 60 Minutes the other night saying it
wasn’t his fault and they all knew it was bullshit.
We already know that to be true. What’s kinda funny
is, the very next day a herd of underlings come
forward to tell us that Tenet has as much blood on his
hands as everyone else.

Don’t forget, this asswipe got the highest honor a
civilian citizen can recieve. Dumbya himself awarded
Tenet, Franks and Bremer The Presidential Medal of
Freedom at the same time, on the same stage.

The Keystone Cops of Operation Iraqi Freedom. The
Musketeers most responsible.

So much for the military. So much for the executive
and legislative branch.

Judicial branch? I don’t fucking know. Gonzalez is a
douchebag though. Dumbya has even more confidence in
him now that he was able to utter some version of “I
don’t know” over seventy times under oath and on TV
with a straight face.

See, Dumbya’s thinking, “I could do that. If that’s
all I ever had to say, you bet, I could do that”.

Meanwhile, Cheney hasn’t crapped in weeks. Poor
bastard has nothing but full, unopened cans of vienna
sausages in his colon and he just can’t seem to pass
even one. Sooner or later they will emerge as flawed
diamonds or he’s gonna explode like a caged calf on a
liquid diet intended for veal.

I’m actually waiting for the whole thing to blow wide
open. We’re close. It will be preceded by civil
unrest. Americans are stupid but this is ridiculous.
When the going gets wierd, the wierd turn pro. R.I.P.
HST.

I’m going on record here. I’m predicting the demise
of this administration before the next election. The
house of cards will fall. It will implode.

Drinks for my friends.

I think I want to write something. It’s kind of a
pain in the ass though, because I don’t have anything
to say.

We could talk about the uh, Alberto Gonzalez vs.
honest government prosecuters in in leu of Karl with a
‘K’ Rove debacle. It’s actually kind of exciting to
think of that prick Rove being blendered on the stand,
under oath and his little dog Cheney too.

Now that I’ve testified under oath in a federal court,
I’m feeling pretty savvy about the entire judicial
spectrum. I’m an expert. Need me to interpret the
law for ya? Negotiate a contract? Give a key note
address on the constitution? Solve your divorce?

I now comprehend the entirety of the law.

I have mastered this domain.

From now on, whenever legal matters are in play, I’m
to be referred to as “The Shit”.

I’ve consulted with a tailor and robes are being
fashioned.

Among the privileges I’ve seen fit to bestow upon
myself:

1) I can now literally waltz (and I will) into any
court of law and pronounce judgement on the case being
tried.

2) I’m allowed to assail and strike anyone in the
courtroom. Whether it be plaintiff or defendent,
juror or judge, bailiff or custodian. I will invoke
this right with great vengeance and violence and without
hesitation.

3) My personal realm of jurisprudence will extend to
all corners of the earth, it’s oceans and the media.
I can, and will intervene whenever and wherever I feel
it necessary. Look for me on TV bitch slapping
various celebrity lawyers like Nancy Grace and that
dickhead who defended Scott Peterson.

Here’s a few other things I’ve mastered:
The art of recording a drumkit.
Chopsticks. Kinda.
How to clean a bathroom pretty fuckin fast.
I just committed to a monthly donation to the ASPCA.
Just now. Really.
Shopping at the 7-11. Go ahead, ask me if they have
it.
I also commited to a coffee table I found on craig’s
list…….
Arguing with wine clerks. Saint Nick wanted a little
rematch tonight I guess.
Cats. As much as one can.
Grazing instead of any proper dinner.
Mac & cheese.
Oh well, recording just about anything.
International commerce and computer
forensics/diagnostics.
Nano technology.
Sandwiches. Seriously. Not as good as Sean but.
Distinguishing between good and bad, right and wrong
and one of these things is not like the other.
Judging character.
There’s just something about Laura Diaz on channel 2.
She’s an insipid Barbie Doll with a pull string tied
to a loop hidden by her bra strap, but well, sorry.

Ok, Let’s move on.

Imagine four corners filled by the following. A
middle aged catholic wine abusing woman, an early
thirties Mexican American and all around sports
enthusiast, a six foot four, middle thirties mildly
bipolar sonafabitch who actually does that fantasy
leaugue stuff, whatever that is, and me. The three (besides me) following March Madness by the fucking second.

Me, not so much.

We all eat lunch together. Needless to say, far too
much of our mealtime interaction and conversation is
dominated by this vapid detritus. I mention Rove may
have to testify under oath and the three of us who
don’t give a mad fuck about March madness search each
others faces while they discuss the demise of Duke and
speculate on the outcome of UCLA vs. Kansas.

I watched the end of that game by the way. I gather
that UCLA has a penis that is aprox. 1/16th of an inch
longer than that of Kansas. I never would have
thought that a city could be better hung than a state.

I also watched the end of that Ohio vs. Tennessee
game. Interesting that although the outcome was as
leak proof as a duck’s ass, the stands were at least a
third empty.

Mirth burgeoned in my chest as I realized I wasn’t the
only American who didn’t really care despite being
entertained by a brief glimpse of the contest.

It didn’t take long for me to understand, with my
newfound judicial prowess and abundant epiphanies
involving college basketball, that I was indeed better
than everyone else. This comforts me.

Drinks for my friends.