Archive for the ‘News and Politics’ Category

Last night I was full to bursting with ideas, things I wanted to tell you about. Sinister and lucid. Piss and vinegar. Last night my adorable cat Beddy (short for Bedhead – nom de Fish), successfully executed her new hobby of tipping over any liquid bearing vessel into my wireless keyboard. Dead in the water. Pun intended.

Gin may have faired better due to the lesser electrical conductivity of alcohol. Beats me.

Tonight I got nuthin. Tonight, my goddamn Direct TV is out so I can’t count on television to piss me off. Don’t worry, I’ll come up with something, I always do. It will be the inaugural voyage on my new, really cool, post modern Mac keyboard. Excited? Good. Me Too.

I got sock radar. If there’s two clean socks in this place, I will find them in minutes.

Excuse me while I smoke some pot. I like pot. It’s like a push up bra. It makes an already good thing better.

Good. Now, I’m pretty stoked over the bold moves Our Man has made in his first few days. I’m impressed.

New White House press Secretary Robert Gibbs reiterated the Obama administration’s commitment to overturn the Don’t Ask Don’t Tell Policy on the change.gov website. No time table but pretty cool. The positive rhetoric in a number of Obama’s campaign speeches regarding gays and lesbians, particularly in the context of minorities was like a lighthouse to us bleeding heart lefties. No, I’m not gay, but I welcomed it as evidence that our man sees the plight of the gay and transgender communities as a black and white civil rights issue.

Again, pun intended.

He’s so cool.

Broad and profound ethical, even moral implications. Precisely why government should abstain from any involment or policy here. Our military will neither discriminate nor favor any group based on ethnicity or sexual orientation. You hypocritical conservatives who pine for smaller and less involved government must have blown expensive post lunch single malt out of your cake holes over this one.

Obama reversed the “Mexico City Policy” as well. First enacted by Reagan, it prohibits any family planning organization that recieves American money from offering abortion services or abortion counseling. A really dumb Christian ethic to impose on third world countries. We should be bombing Africa with condoms and birth control pills.

Our man called it a “political wedge issue,” and said he had, “no desire to continue this stale and fruitless debate.” -CNN. Another move so disconcerting to the neo religious conservative dickheads, that they called for a man named Bob to to sponge their collective square pants.

Then there was this:
“As of today, lobbyists will be subject to stricter limits than under any other administration in history. If you are a lobbyist entering my administration, you will not be able to work on matters you lobbied on, or in the agencies you lobbied during the previous two years. When you leave government, you will not be able to lobby my administration for as long as I am president.” -Rachel Maddow

Wow. The collective pucker and panic over that one most likely impacted the carbon footprint of the entire beltway. There were some cries over Our Man’s near instant plea to bend the rules for a former Raytheon exec. he wants for Deputy Sec. Def. Campbell Brown got a little indignat and weepy over it but she would do well to realize that if this were Dumbya and friends, we wouldn’t ever have known about it in the first place. We still don’t know who was on Darth Cheney’s energy task force or even what they decided.

Limbaugh and O’Reilly quacked liked ducks and crapped like geese this week.

Bill O’Reilly had this to say:

“Besides his lack of experience, Panetta opposes many of the CIA’s anti-terror measures. He’s against any kind of coerced interrogation, wants the FISA overseas wiretap law repealed, and would completely disband the rendition program whereby the CIA sends captured terror suspects to be held and interrogated in other countries.

Without those tools, which former CIA Chief George Tenet and others say have been very effective in uncovering terror plots, the agency’s ability to disrupt potential attacks would be gravely damaged.” -freerepublic.com

There was more but I need to stop this fucking pinhead right there. George Tenet is a clueless, inept mouthbreather. No better than Mike Brown of Arabian horse fame and the former head of FEMA. You really want to keep your stock in a retard like Tenet instead of giving a smart accomplished guy like Panetta an initial benefit of the doubt? You sir, are an idiot. A buffoon. I suspect your penis barely functions.

Limbaugh pulled that little string and this gusher ensued:

A week after saying he “hope(s) he fails” about Obama, Limbaugh this week said, ”We are being told we have to hope he succeeds, that we have to grab our ankles…because his father was black, because he’s the first black president,we’ve got to accept this.” -MSNBC.com

I’m barely employed so I have very little to lose. I’m thinking I might move to Florida, discover the Human Shitsmear’s most favored eateries and rub my dick on everything he eats.

They are over. Both of them. Read my lips.

In the meantime, looks to me like he’s walking straight at it. His name is Barack Hussein Obama, he’s from Chicago by way of Hawaii and he’s not here to fuck around.

Drinks for my friends.

January 16, 2009 – Friday – 7:21 PM
Peace with whom?
As I watched W give his farewell address to the nation last night I was struck how through some form of weird twist W seemed to still hold on to his overriding theory that elections and democracy can transform a region. That a region that sorely lacks the institutions of democracy through the simple task of a vote will some how find tolerance, and peace with itself and it’s neighbors.

It has been this simpleton view of the world that has wrought destruction through the Middle East these last 8 years. In Iraq where Sadr’s Mahdi Army and Sadr’s political party share the same course, and can some how find legitimacy through votes counted at the point of a gun. In Lebanon, Hezbollah a militia, fully backed by Iran, with the stated goal of the destruction of Israel and death to the Jews, now is the reigning political party in Lebanon. Gaza, the West Bank, and the plight of the Palestinian people. Fatah, once known as the Palestinian Liberation Organization (PLO), took the early mantle for the Palestinian people. Fatah became known more for their zealous rejection of Israeli’s right to exist, and their corruption than actually doing anything for the Palestinian people.

Eventually Fatah negotiated land for peace, softening their anti-Israeli stand and accepted the two state solution.

Then in 2006, W continued his spread of democracy to the Palestinian people. With no working institutions of government, was it a surprise that Hamas would win the majority of seats? Well, maybe to Condi Rice, but to the rest of the world, the cry was in unison, “Don’t hold elections, not now!”

After Hamas won they cleansed Gaza of any remaining Fatah politicians (cleansed as in murdered), and started a concerted effort with Hezbollah to destroy Israel, and the Jewish people.

So, I know that by now you all think I lost my mind. That J, he really is a NEOCON, he’s a nut, he thinks that it’s ok to kill babies, that he can’t see that peace is the only way. I believe in peace, but not with Hamas. Why?

In addition to watching W’s speech, I also read an excellent article by Jeffrey Goldberg. I found his opinion piece in the NY Times to pound home my thoughts on W’s simpleton view of democracy and the world effects.

Goldberg has spent a lot of time talking to Hamas officials, and his reporting speaks volumes. During a conversation with a Hamas leader the following came out:

I asked him the question I always ask of Hamas leaders: Could you agree to anything more than a tactical cease-fire with Israel? I felt slightly ridiculous asking: A man who believes that God every now and again transforms Jews into pigs and apes might not be the most obvious candidate for peace talks at Camp David. Mr. Rayyan answered the question as I thought he would, saying that a long-term cease-fire would be unnecessary, because it will not take long for the forces of Islam to eradicate Israel.

My stand is that you can not negotiate with people like Hamas. They firmly believe their religious rhetoric. They are stoked in it. Though Israeli officials believe they can bomb Hamas into moderation, they can not do that either. They can perhaps deter them for a time, but in the end, Hamas cannot be cajoled into moderation. Neither position credits Hamas with sincerity, or seriousness.

No, Hamas does not want free trade across it’s borders in Gaza. It does not want a better life for the Palestinian people to live. Hamas wants one thing, and one thing only, to cleanse the region of Israel and the Jews.

So, where does peace begin? Not in Gaza, but rather in the West Bank. To quote Goldberg:

The only small chance for peace today is the same chance that existed before the Gaza invasion: The moderate Arab states, Europe, the United States and, mainly, Israel, must help Hamas’s enemy, Fatah, prepare the West Bank for real freedom, and then hope that the people of Gaza, vast numbers of whom are unsympathetic to Hamas, see the West Bank as an alternative to the squalid vision of Hassan Nasrallah and Nizar Rayyan.

LINK 1

I pray for the Palestinian people, and I also pray for the people of Israel. For years there was a concept that there could be peace for land. Israel withdraws to the pre 1967 borders and the state of Palestine will be rewarded for the peace that would ensue. However, the entrance of Hamas into the equation has made the opposite true. By withdrawing from Gaza Israel has become less safe, as Hamas from the time it won the 2006 elections has been dead set to destroy Israel, and with the new longer range rockets finding their way into Gaza, how long will it be before Hamas rains down rockets on Tel Aviv?

It appears that we are close to a peace treaty in Gaza, but what kind of peace will it be? Will it be a peace marked by the further martyrdom of the Gazan people? Will the US step up together with Egypt to help halt the flow of rockets into Gaza? Finally, will the Palestinian people finally find the representation they so urgently need?

I believe that a focus on a full withdrawal in the West Bank, open borders, and real freedom for the Palestinian people will entice the people of Gaza to fully reject the extremists and with enough monitors, and support by the US, Europe, and moderate Arabian nations, a real lasting peace can result.

Peace
J

Wednesday, January 14, 2009 – 2:07 PM
“Pushing on a String”
Most people had probably never heard this phrase a year ago. It refers to the monetary phenomenon whereby the financial authorities find themselves powerless to stimulate the economy via the normal expedient of cutting interest rates. Ordinarily, interest-rate policy is a viable tool for speeding up or slowing down the business cycle. If the economy is sluggish, interest rates are lowered, and economic activity picks up. If the economy is too active and inflation looms, interest rates are increased, and the economy slows down.

There are times though where the efficacy of interest-rate policy falters (or disappears entirely). If sentiment is extremely negative, it doesn’t matter that businesses and individuals can borrow money at low interest rates; they will still refrain from spending and investing. This is precisely the situation that our economy is in right now. Regardless of how much money the Fed pumps out, the economy stubbornly refuses to respond.

Interestingly, despite Dick Cheney’s recent assertion that “nobody saw this coming”, Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke gave a now-famous speech in 2002 anticipating precisely this set of circumstances and outlining how the Fed could respond to it. The speech earned him the nickname “Helicopter Ben”, after the most extreme monetary measure he described, which was to literally drop money out of helicopters.

What Bernanke didn’t foresee was that sentiment could get so negative that people won’t spend even if money is dropped from helicopters (which is more or less what the Fed has been doing for the last several months). And – a point which virtually every mainstream economist, government official, and media commentator has failed to note – this is not a failure of monetary policy; it is a failure of money itself.

Banks, corporations and individuals are behaving in a perfectly rational manner when they choose not to spend or invest. After all, if you expect continued economic stagnation, why would you invest? And if you expect prices to fall, why would you spend?

Thus we are faced with a tragic paradox – i.e. just at the time when we most need the people who have money to spend it, they face the strongest disincentive to do so. And the reason why this is so is because money as we currently know it is improperly designed and fundamentally flawed.

If you ask an economist for a definition of money, it will typically be described in one of two ways – i.e. either as a medium of exchange or a store of value. In other words, money is expected to facilitate the exchange of real goods while at the same time serving as a tool for storing and preserving wealth.

Although it may not be apparent at first glance, these two functions are not fully compatible. As the German economist Silvio Gesell observed, it is impossible for money to serve as an effective medium of exchange if it is also designed to serve as a store of value. Money that is designed to serve as a store of value will systematically fail to serve its more important function as a medium of exchange.

To see why this is so, let’s consider an everyday phenomenon with which every human being is familiar – i.e. the fact that things decay. Virtually every type of physical matter deteriorates over time – some more quickly than others. For this reason, every producer of real goods and services is under a natural compulsion to sell their wares. Of course they will try to get the best price they can, but when push comes to shove, they have to sell. Just imagine a dairy farmer who refuses to sell his milk because he thinks the price offered is too low. In a couple weeks his product will be worthless. The compulsion to sell is so strong that he will ultimately have to sell his milk even if he takes a loss by doing so (since the loss would be even larger if he held onto his milk).

Money, on the other hand, is under no such compulsion. Holders of money suffer no penalty if they delay their purchases. As Gesell colorfully describes it, “Demand enters the market proudly confident of an easy victory; supply appears dejected like a beggar… On the one hand compulsion, on the other hand freedom; and the two together, compulsion and freedom, determine price.”

In other words, money enjoys an unfair advantage over real goods and services in the marketplace. And it is precisely because money is intentionally designed to serve as a store of value that this advantage exists. If money was intended to serve solely as a medium of exchange, it would be designed in such a way as to subject it to the same compulsion to circulate that applies to all other goods and services. It is the absence of this compulsion that causes money to systematically withdraw during times of uncertainty, thereby exacerbating financial crises. If money was subject to a “penalty to hoarding” just like all other goods and services, supply and demand would meet on a level playing field, and holders of money would not face an incentive to hoard their wealth just at the time when society needs them to do the opposite.

In order to achieve this result, Gesell suggested designing money so that it deliberately loses value according to a predetermined schedule of depreciation. This would create an incentive for holders of money to “use it or lose it” in both good times and bad. (In his time, Gesell proposed accomplishing this by requiring people to purchase stamps which would need to be affixed to paper currency periodically in order to maintain its full value. Given modern computer technology, a far more efficient and less cumbersome method could be designed.)

Obviously all of this would require a fundamental adjustment in the way we think about money. Up until now, money has been viewed as a form of wealth and has been regulated by the private banks that make up the Federal Reserve system. As Richard C. Cook observes in his book “We Hold These Truths: The Hope of Monetary Reform”, money is a creation of the state and ought to be viewed as a public utility, not as the domain of private interests. Just as we have seen how allowing private corporations to control the distribution of electricity can lead to harmful abuses, the same holds true for money.

And, to bring the discussion back to where we started, we should also note that money designed in such a way would eliminate the problem of “pushing on a string”. With money as it currently exists, there is virtually no way for the financial authorities to compel its circulation, as we now see with the Fed Funds rate near zero and the markets still failing to respond. If money were designed along Gesell’s lines, monetary policy would be far more effective in terms of its ability to compel money to circulate. In a crisis like the one we’re currently in, the government could simply increase the rate of depreciation of money. In that way, unlike our current system in which holders of money are behaving perfectly rationally by hoarding money, they would no longer have an incentive to do so. The ability of the government to adjust the rate of depreciation would allow the “penalty to hoarding” to be set at whatever level was required to compel money to start circulating again. The government would then be pushing on a ramrod rather than a string.

I can’t even tell you.

My dick is in the dirt.

Anyway.

I’ve got a poem for you all but I can’t finish it. I’ve only been working on it for four months. It’s about a corn dog. In the Fall.

If you want to help, send cash and pills. Xanax, percocet………

Starbuck’s cards. Pretty good sandwiches if you stop by the 7-11 for packets of condiments.

I’ll bet this economy will see the disappearance of the mayonnaise packet. It’s so fancy and such a luxury. I adore it, being able to squirt the right amount on each bite.

The only mayo in a jar is Best Foods (Hellmanns), the only mayo in a squueze jar is Best Foods (Hellmanns), but the best mayo ever is only available in attractively packaged silver fuselages from Heinz. You can take as many as you like from the 7-11.

Or so I thought.

After I made my purchase tonight, I went back over and scooped a wad of Heinz mayo envelopes into my ridiculous purse sized plastic bag. It’s always this tag team of Middle Eastern, South East Asian and Latino clerks. So the indian guy follows me out after I scoop this kinda fearless wad of mayo into my purse.

I turn and stare him up about ten feet down the way.

I spend money there almost everyday.

It’s clear it’s nonconfrontational, but then I realize there’s no cigarettes in my pale plastic purse. It was a pretty warm night.

Symmetry. Phase in motion and a pretty sound lock.

The man who would confront me, he gave me the look, sees me walk back in with my receipt straight to his station. I reach over his register and flick him hard on his nose. Then I bitch slap him and begin smashing things.

Just kidding. Not really. I did show him the receipt though. He was all cool and acquiescent. Gave me my smokes. I gave him knuckles. We parted friends. It’s advantageous to be on the good side of your local grocer.

It’s really bad out there and pretty bad in here.

Both men and women have a taint you know. The area between your starfish and your gonads. Other than that, we have very little in common. Things like a fondness for a certain kind of cookie or Kung Fu movies don’t really count. Stay away from women that like Kung Fu movies or women that go nuts for ultimate fighting. There’s a chance they’re not women at all. They are most likely broads.

“And I see lonely ships upon the water
Better save the women and children first
Sail away with someone’s daughter
Better save the women and children first

I hear music on the landin’ an’ there’s laughter in the air
Just could be your boat is comin’ in
Yeah you’re leanin’ back an’ yeah, a foot tappin’
Ain’t got your head right
There’s a full moon out tonight. Baby, let’s begin

And she said “Could this be magic? Or could this be love?” Uh, oh
An’ I said “Could this turn tragic? You know that magic often does” -Van Halen

Another thing, I loathe the tit tattoo. Why introduce graffiti onto an otherwise lovely decolletage? Stupid. Misguided.

I’m just one guy, but if you have creamy cleavage or nice shoulders, no need to distract me from that loveliness.

When I see people with tattood faces I can’t help but wonder what happens if they lose their job.

There was a time when ink meant something. Now it’s just an indication that you were a pussy in high school.

People try awfully hard to belong to something. Anything.

I gotta tell ya, I’m not a big beer drinker but I’m addicted to these “Cheladas”. Budweiser and Clamato. Genius. Really. I do wish they came in a smaller can. 16 oz. is just too much for me. Maybe with sushi. Or pizza.

I myself wish to distinguish myself as a writer. See, in my own mind, I think I’m a bit of a genius. That may not be true but the the idea of it has served me well so far. I understand that at the very least, I’m not stupid. At the end of the day, that works for me.

I mean, as long as I’m not a member of the great unwashed.

It has become a tragedy to those who feel and to those who think. The world’s collective consciousness teeters on the brink of a third world war. Einstien said he couldn’t guess at the weapons for such a war, but the fourth world war would be fought with sticks and stones.

I understand he was a pretty bright guy.

Maybe Joe The Plumber will hook it all up. What a douchebag. This guy has no humility. You can bet I’ll be tuning in to the Pajama network or whoever hired his dumb ass. I’m anticipating red asphalt and carnage at the end of a bloody smear. Gore and eggs, weird shaped pasta, some teeth and some hair. Bones, thrombus, the gore and detritus of a dipshit’s consanguinity.

Why does this piss me off so much?

It’s because he’s such an all American jackass. He asked a hypothetical question and ended up being the straight man for an out of context soundbite that McCain ground his knuckles against while attempting to make it an issue. Sam Wurzelbacher landed on the stage without a single goddamn idea in his head and now some of you still care what he thinks.

That’s my problem. Until Americans can take fifteen seconds to estimate the measure of someone like Joe The Plumber, and decide he’s not worth of anyone’s attention, and as a reult of our apathy he fades, until then, we suck.

We are just under 45 degrees out.

I’m still flirting with 90.

Drinks for my friends.

Jan 6, 2009 9:56 PM
Change I Can Believe In
We used to be a country of laws, not of men. We used to dismiss those that claimed, if the president does it, it’s not illegal. Over the last 8 years all of that changed. Reversing that became the change we all looked for.

Underneath the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, the handling of combatants taken off the battle field, the interrogation, rounding up, and holding of American citizens without due process, underneath all of this were decisions made by the Office of Legal Counsel (OLC). This is an office in the Department of Justice that by definition is supposed to tell the president what he can and can not do legally.

Over the last 8 years, BushCo found a friend in the OLC in John Yoo. He wrote the torture memo, which declared that the President’s power to torture detainees is virtually limitless. Backed by Cheney’s long time attorney and advisor, David Addington, as well as Gonzo, were all part of the team of lawlessness.

Well, yesterday President Elect Obama named a few people to his new administration that in and of itself show change I can believe in. He named Dawn Johnsen to head the OLC. Johnsen is a Professor of Law at Indiana University, a former OLC official in the Clinton administration (as well as a former ACLU counsel), and a graduate of Yale Law School. She’s become a true expert on executive power and, specifically, the role and obligation of the OLC in restricting presidential decisions to their lawful scope.

She was a vocal critic of BushCo, and the OLC in particular. Here are a few quotes from articles she published over the last few years:

I want to second Dahlia’s frustration with those who don’t see the newly released Office of Legal Counsel (OLC) torture memo as a big deal. Where is the outrage, the public outcry?! The shockingly flawed content of this memo, the deficient processes that led to its issuance, the horrific acts it encouraged, the fact that it was kept secret for years and that the Bush administration continues to withhold other memos like it–all demand our outrage.

Yes, we’ve seen much of it before. And yes, we are counting down the remaining months. But we must regain our ability to feel outrage whenever our government acts lawlessly and devises bogus constitutional arguments for outlandishly expansive presidential power. Otherwise, our own deep cynicism, about the possibility for a President and presidential lawyers to respect legal constraints, itself will threaten the rule of law–and not just for the remaining nine months of this administration, but for years and administrations to come.

OLC, the office entrusted with making sure the President obeys the law instead here told the President that in fighting the war on terror, he is not bound by the laws Congress has enacted. That Congress lacks the authority to regulate the interrogation and treatment of enemy combatants. . . .

John Yoo, the memo’s author, has the gall to continue to defend the legal reasoning in this memo, in the face even of Bush administration OLC head Jack Goldsmith’s harsh criticism–and withdrawal–of the memo. Not only that, Yoo attempts to spin the memo’s advice on presidential power as “near boilerplate” . . .

I know (many of us know) Yoo’s statement to be false. And not merely false, but irresponsibly and dangerously false in a way that impugns OLC’s integrity over time and threatens to undermine public faith in the possibility that any administration can be expected to adhere to the rule of law.

Far from “near boilerplate,” recall that the last President who took the view that “when the President does it that means that it is not illegal” was forced to resign in disgrace. . . .

Is it possible John Yoo alone merits our outrage, as some kind of rogue legal advisor? Of course not.

As Dahlia points out, Bush has not fired anyone responsible for devising the legal arguments that have allowed the Bush administration to act contrary to federal statutes with close to immunity–or for breaking the laws. In fact, the ones at Justice who didn’t last are the officials (like Goldsmith) who dared to say “no” to the President-which, by the way, is OLC’s core job description. . . .

The correct response to all this? Marty has several good suggestions to start. And outrage. Directed where it belongs: at President Bush, as well as his lawyers.

About the Bush administration’s violations of FISA she wrote:

I’m afraid we are growing immune to just how outrageous and destructive it is, in a democracy, for the President to violate federal statutes in secret. Remember that much of what we know about the Bush administration’s violations of statutes (and yes, I realize they claim not to be violating statutes) came first only because of leaks and news coverage. Incredibly, we still don’t know the full extent of our government’s illegal surveillance or illegal interrogations (and who knows what else)-despite Congress’s failed efforts to get to the bottom of it. Congress instead resorted to enacting new legislation on both issues largely in the dark.

About the serial lawbreaking she wrote:

I felt the sense of shame and responsibility for my government’s behavior especially acutely in the summer of 2004, with the leaking of the infamous and outrageous Bush administration Office of Legal Counsel Torture Memo. . . .

The same question, of what we are to do in the face of national dishonor, also occurred to me a few weeks ago, as I listened to President Bush describe his visit to a Rwandan memorial to the 1994 genocide there. . . .

But President Bush spoke there, too, of the power of the reminder the memorial provides and the need to protect against recurrences there, or elsewhere. That brought to mind that whenever any government or people act lawlessly, on whatever scale, questions of atonement and remedy and prevention must be confronted. And fundamental to any meaningful answer is transparency about the wrong committed. . . .

The question how we restore our nation’s honor takes on new urgency and promise as we approach the end of this administration. We must resist Bush administration efforts to hide evidence of its wrongdoing through demands for retroactive immunity, assertions of state privilege, and implausible claims that openness will empower terrorists. . . .

Here is a partial answer to my own question of how should we behave, directed especially to the next president and members of his or her administration but also to all of use who will be relieved by the change: We must avoid any temptation simply to move on. We must instead be honest with ourselves and the world as we condemn our nation’s past transgressions and reject Bush’s corruption of our American ideals. Our constitutional democracy cannot survive with a government shrouded in secrecy, nor can our nation’s honor be restored without full disclosure.

This appointment is different than most other appointments made by Obama. In the other appointment, like Secretary of State, or of Defense, those positions take the lead from the executive, or Obama is the change that they must follow. In the OLC though, once appointed, they read the law, and tell the executive what they can, and can not do. So, unless Obama pulls a Bush (or Cheney) and co-ops the OLC by finding one with low morals like Yoo, we will see the change we all hoped for in the new administration.

Is it January 20th yet?

Peace,
J

To not see a man’s eyes is hardly ever a comfortable thing. Take off your sunglasses if you want me to talk to you.

Giving is receiving, yet people are people wherever you go.

Forgive me for getting didactic on your ass, but I’m about to.

Electricity always goes to ground. So automatically, being “grounded”, looks like a bad thing.

I’ve lifted the ground, flopped the phase and inverted polarity. I have a friend who invented a device that allows for the shifting of polarity at any point along 180 degrees of the protractor. Other than that, I’ve devoted very little effort and much less time to the idea.

Fuck that. As a former electron director, I was obsessed with phase. Still am. Enough to feel guilty. I was a phase fag.

I dreamt about it last night. I wasn’t good at it. Woke up despondent. Cold feet, sweaty brow. Today kinda sucked.

It’s a tricky thing. It borders on Voodoo. Put the batteries in the remote incorrectly, effectively opposing the crest to trough relationship on which the appliance is designed to operate, and the circuit functions not at all. Drag. Might take you awhile to figure out if you’re baked.

Tesla invented the polyphase motor, making alternating current (AC) far more practical, efficacious and safe than Edison’s model for the distribution of electricity, direct current (DC).

Had Edison prevailed, it would have really sucked. We’d all been killed.

Mustard and pickles always on a grilled cheese. Always.

Flop the phase on the kick drum or bass guitar right before you print and sometimes the bottom end of the mix blooms or at least tightens. Sometimes Pandora’s box yawns long into nightmare. Polarity can be a drum of serpents.

I can’t tell you how many engineers I worked with that had no concept of phase. Any given piano in any given contemporary recording is at least forty five to ninety degrees out. If you reverse polarity and can’t hear a difference, you’re probably ninety degrees out. Do the math.

Wanna hear good phase on a piano? Fiona Apple, “Tidal”. That’s a large piano.

Well paid engineers, with two microphones literally facing each other and never even looking at the button on either module. That used to kill me.

I promise I’m going somewhere with this. Can you tell I like my subject?

Word has it the earth’s magnetic field may be inversing. The last such event, the “Brunhes-Matuyama reversal”, occured some 780 thousand years ago. Planet earth may be on the verge of reversing it’s polarity. It’s like the world is changing it’s own mind.

Speculation as to the effects are exploding. Migrating birds, fish and mammals suddenly unable to find their way. Dogs and cats living together. Republicans voting Democrat. Photomats making a comeback. Seismic events. Volcanic stuff.

I don’t worry about it because there’s nothing I can do.

On the other hand………

Almost without reservation, I welcome the rather dramatic shift in American politics that’s manifested over the last few years. Americans, indeed people in general, are reluctant to change, much less throw everything into reverse.

Now, with what appears to be a near consummate abruptness, people seem willing at least, to subsume drastic new direction. A can of beer for each of you.

No secret there, it’s because it’s all so completely fucked up.

Change is hard and not always good. Don’t doubt that it can be necessary. This movement is beyond necessary. It is vital. Our last best chance? We have long since lead the world in cutting off our noses, to spite or perhaps despite , our own faces. Incredibly reckless and self destructive behavior.

Fucking stupid.

We’ve behaved like dope fiends. An appropriate metaphor for how difficult, Herculean, this change will be, is that of a crackhead. Time for rehab kids. If you’re successful, you’ll alter your entire intellectual construct in order to exclude this addiction. You will change your own mind.

It will not be without considerable sacrifice and pain. The most pious and indoctrinated among you will suffer the most. It will, however, touch us all.

With that, some luck and hope or maybe your God, the crests and troughs will begin to align with more congruency, coherence and maybe cooperation. See what I’m saying?

Forty five degrees to right of north on the old oscilloscope.

For those of you who don’t understand or haven’t yet busted a move; “phase” is the best analogy. The simplest. This way or that way. Allowing greed, “values” and fear to dominate our very conversations about how we should and would be governed has been Democracy’s biggest mistake. As I write this, it is exactly why we are so fucked. Time to hit that button and walk the other way.

It’s trite, but one definition of insanity is performing the same action over and over while expecting a different result.

This one’s for Don Carlson.

Drinks for my friends.

December 18, 2008 – Thursday – 9:01 PM
The Gold Standard

‘With the right hand out begging for bailout money, the left is hiding it offshore.’
Texas Democrat Rep. Lloyd Doggett, of the House Ways and Means Committee

Goldman Sachs, the Gold Standard on Wall Street, announced it’s first quarterly lose in it’s history, but it’s yearly earnings still showed a $2.3 billion profit. It may look like a big number, but for Goldman $2.3 billion is a large drop in earnings.

Let’s not drop too many tears for Goldman. They have been taking care of themselves. Last year, they paid their employees $10.9 billion in compensation. Not bad.

At Goldman Sachs, employee compensation made up 71% of total operating expenses in 2007. In the auto industry, by contrast, autoworker compensation makes up less than 10% of the cost of manufacturing a car. Hundreds of billions were given to the financial-services industry with barely a question about compensation; the auto bailout, however, was sunk on this issue alone.

But let’s not knock Goldman they after all may be the smartest guys in the room. In 2007 Goldman paid a tax rate of 34.1% , or $6 billion. This year, with profits of $2.3 billion, Goldman paid a tax rate of 1%, $14 million.

How?

Goldman attributed its lower tax rate to ‘more tax credits as a percentage of earnings’ and ‘changes in geographic earnings mix.’

What does that mean? They moved their money off shore. Ooops, sorry, they moved our money, $10 billion in bail out money, off shore, untaxed!

And who’s handing out the bail out money? Secretary Hank Paulson.

So?

Paulson was CEO of Goldman Sachs until mid-2006, and earned $35 million at the firm in 2005. He drew a $16.4 million salary in 2006 — even though he served as chief executive for just half the year.

As Goldman employees take home huge salaries, and are getting ready for their holidays, the big three are closing factories, shutting down operations for extended periods, just in time for their holidays.

Peace,
J

Dec 11, 2008 6:18 PM
Employee Free Choice Act-What is it and why it is so important
If only one bill makes it way through to passage in Congress during their next session, it should be the Employee Free Choice Act. Unless you are a union activist, or a worker who is trying to organize a union in their workplace, you probably have no idea what the EFCA is, or why it is so important.

In a perfect world, where the basic human rights of the working person were respected, there would be no reason to have labor unions. We don’t live in a perfect world. In fact, more workers than ever before need labor unions because without them, workers are unable to collectively bargain with employers for decent wages, safe working conditions, healthcare benefits for themselves and their families, and retirement pensions.

In the business world, labor is simply thought of as a cost to be contained. The ivory tower of highly paid executives gives little or no thought to the idea that the labor cost numbers reflected on their profit and loss spreadsheet actually represent people. If they were to look beyond the numbers, and understand that people are important, more important than stockholder equity, or corporate profits, there would be no need for labor unions. But that is not the real world.

Over the last several decades, many states have enacted “right to work” legislation. The direct result of this legislation has been to allow workers to benefit directly from union negotiated collective bargaining agreements, without having to join the union, and pay membership dues. Union treasuries have lost millions of dollars, and with this, they have lost much of their power. Most unions now have significantly fewer members. There is little motivation for workers to join unions when they can get the same pay and benefits as the union members get without having to join the union.

Ultimately, the purpose of “right to work” legislation was to push labor unions to the brink. With fewer members, unions have less clout in the form of bargaining power with employers. This means fewer employee pay increases, less healthcare coverage, and little money for retirement pensions. All of this has been good for corporate execuitves and bad for workers and unions.

Today, when many workers attempt to organize their workplace, they meet tremendous resistance from employers. It is typical for employers to force employees to attend “educational meetings” where they must listen to anti-union propaganda, and for them to hear that a labor union will force the company to go bankrupt and they will lose their jobs. It is also not unusual to hear about union organizers getting fired from their jobs, simply because they want to join a union.

The Employee Free Choice Act would go a long way towards righting some of these wrongs. President-elect Obama has promised that he would sign the bill if it is approved by Congress. Under the terms of the bill, workers would be free to hold an election to join a union, and with a simple majority, the union would immediately be able to engage in collective bargaining with the employer.

Many misconceptions exist about unions. Many are old stereotypes about corruption that are outdated and simply untrue. Labor unions do not seek to have employers go out of business. That is foolishness, and runs counter to the goals of providing workers with employment security. The goal of the labor union movement is to provide workers and their families with a decent life. It is time we see labor in human terms. We need the Employee Free Choice Act to become law so that workers and their unions can work together to improve the quality of life for working Americans.

When I took my oath as a union member of an AFL-CIO affiliated union, I promised that, “the will of the majority I will always abide by”. That is at the center of my beliefs as an American. We live in a free society with a democratically elected government. As workers, we should have the same right to govern ourselves within our workplace.

Write your members of Congress today and tell them how important passing the Employee Free Choice Act is to you. With your help, we can get this bill signed into law, and improve the lives of millions of working Americans.

Dec 13, 2008 3:18 AM
The Union
The American Civil War (1861–1865), also known as the War Between the States and several other names, was a civil war in the United States of America. Eleven Southern slave states declared their secession from the U.S. and formed the Confederate States of America (the Confederacy). Led by Jefferson Davis, they fought against the U.S. federal government (the “Union”), which was supported by all the free states and the five border slave states.

No, not that Union, this union:

The International Union, United Automobile, Aerospace and Agricultural Implement Workers of America, better known as the United Auto Workers (UAW), is a labor union which represents workers in the United States, Canada, and Puerto Rico. Founded in order to represent workers in the automobile manufacturing industry, UAW members in the 21st century work in industries as diverse as health care, casino gaming and higher education.

Why are these guys against the auto industry loan guarantees? The Union, the United Auto Workers (UAW).

Alabama Senator Richard Shelby, who has been particularly vocal in his opposition of financial assistance for the Big Three, said on “Meet the Press,” stated that:

We don’t need government — governmental subsidies for manufacturing in this country. It’s the French model, it’s the wrong road. We will pay for it. The average American taxpayer is going to pay dearly for this, if I’m not wrong.

Senator Richard Shelby is the senator from Alabama. The same Alabama that offered lucrative incentives (subsidies) to Mercedes Benz in the early 1990s to lure the German automobile manufacturer to the State.

Alabama offered a stunning $253 million incentive package to Mercedes. Additionally, the state also offered to train the workers, clear and improve the site, upgrade utilities, and buy 2,500 Mercedes Benz vehicles. All told, it is estimated that the incentive package totaled anywhere from $153,000 to $220,000 per created job. On top of all this, the state gave the foreign automaker a large parcel of land worth between $250 and $300 million, which was coincidentally how much the company expected to invest in building the plant.

Where was your outrage then Senator?

Tennessee Senator Bob Corker has crafted a separate, three-pronged plan:

It would require the two firms closest to bankruptcy, General Motors and Chrysler, to reduce their debt by two-thirds. Bondholders would have “plenty of incentive to make sure that the debt is reduced by two-thirds” or risk losing even more if the firms go into Chapter 11, where their bonds might be further discounted, Corker said. “We’re going to force them into bankruptcy if they don’t do this,” he said bluntly.

He also would require that the Voluntary Employee Benefit Association, the entity created by the car firms and the UAW to handle retiree health care benefits, accept stock in lieu of half the cash payments due. The carmakers had agreed to fund VEBA but can no longer afford to do so. “If a company goes bankrupt, these future payments are never going to happen anyway,” he said.

Finally, Corker’s bill would force the UAW to lower its members’ wages to the level of workers at the American “transplants,” the factories in Tennessee and other states owned by Toyota, Hyundai and other foreign car companies.

Notice he is going after the Union. Why?

Senator Corker, how’s that new Volkswagen plant going in Chattanooga? How about Nissan’s North American headquarters and Nissan plant in Tennessee?

Tennessee offered its richest incentive package — and perhaps the most government assistance and tax breaks ever for an American automobile plant — to lure Volkswagen to Chattanooga. How about $500 million in government assistance and tax breaks for VW alone?

Where was your outrage then Senator?

Then we have Kentucky Senator Mitch McConnell. I’m sure you know where this is going. McConnell said the bill would be more appealing if Sen. Bob Corker (R-Tenn.) could add amendments that would require the automakers to reduce two-thirds of their outstanding debt through an equity swap with bondholders as a condition for aid. Corker would also require the companies to reduce labor costs, and mandate that a portion of payments automakers make to labor unions consist of company stock.

Senator, how’s your Toyota plant, the largest plant outside of Japan? Senator McConnell claims Toyota is doing well, while their stock has fallen 50% since the beginning of the year.

Toyota makes hybrids in Kentucky, as well as other cars, yet Senator McConnell has led the charge to stop any legislation that would have pushed up CAFÉ standards, that would have driven the auto industry to higher MPG standards.

McConnell also voted FOR the $700B bailout of Wall Street.

Where was your outrage then Senator?

So, why are so many Southern Senators against loans for the (American) auto industry? Are they confused about the whole “Union” thing?

Peace,
J

I want to take The Swirly with me to Denny’s. There’s no way she’d be cool with it. Still, I wish I could.

All she’s gonna want is a small bowl of water with some tuna juice in it. She has never shown the remotest interest in anything besides IAMS and Fancy Feast.

Human food is barely on her radar. She no longer goes out of her way to even smell it.

If only she could accompany me so we could exchange glances and knowing looks while we people watch.

You can take dogs anywhere. They’re dogs. Dumb and overly optimistic. Most won’t bite. Far more likely they’ll try to nuzzle your genitals. I really hate that. Not so much for being violated but more for the dog snot on my hands after pushing it off my junk. No cat has ever done anything nearly as invasive. Except for peeing on me.

You just can’t take a cat to Denny’s.

If you bring your goddamn dog to whatever restaurant I’m in I might stab you with a pen. Maybe your dog. With a fork. Both of you. With a fork. Cat’s have enough sense to realize the craziness of any given human. Cat’s don’t give humans the benefit of the doubt. Cats are smart.

They don’t come running. Even if the only two faces to walk in your front door in like six months are the only two faces to walk in your door in that time, they still give you the up and down. I’ve had to let my oldest smell my drivers license. They let you know they’re happy you’re home at their own pace. Might not be until the next day.

I do wish I could just buckle a harness on Beddy and have her strut urgently to the 7-11 with me. Strutting urgently while looking back is her default. I hope she’ll talk to strangers as much as she talks to me. It would be fantastic if she would yell at others the way she yells at me when she’s cornered me in the kitchen. I’m there for a drink. She’s there for treats.

Did I tell you she’s got a real chip on her shoulder for the Latin homosexual and transgendered community? It’s pretty funny. I think it’s from me leaving the Hooker Paper on the bathroom floor.

Otherwise she’s a very classy broad. A lady.

Here’s what else:

1) I’d like to not ever have to scrub my shower. I’ve been kinda broke and decided to forego the magic defunkifying spray and it’s more than a little uh, calcified in there.

2) I need more info on these new LED lightbulbs.

3) I’m really tired of having things to do. I no longer want to have any scheduled activities. I’m exceptional at filling my waking hours with things that please me.

4) I’ve often thought that justice should be more poetic. Ironic. Limericky. There’s always a pay off in a limerick. What if a friend of Dick Cheney’s shot him in the face, and then Dick apologized publicly to his friend for the inconvenience his being shot in the face must have caused? You can see where I’m going with this.

5) I no longer wish to be burdened with the fear of cell phone radiation. I keep my shit far from my sack.

6) Here’s who I do not wish to hear on the radio ever again. Top of the list is the fucking Chili Peppers. I’ve come to hate them. The mechanicals alone pay them mad cash. “Highway Star” by Deep Purple. I hate that song. Any song by Cream. Clapton is way over rated. Oingo Boingo, I hate them. The Doors, fuck The Doors. I can’t really talk about contemporary music. I don’t dislike it, I just don’t know their names. We may have to come back to this.

7) I’d like for people who’ve never seen me before and never will again to stop acknowledging me. When I do that, it’s because I’m feeling confrontationally obnoxious. Why are they doing it?

8) Hot women should walk slower.

9) I’d like too see candy become a lot more nutritious and far less caloric. Science has proven that you can’t make food taste good without too much salt, sugar and fat so we really need to get going on this one.

10) Ok, this one’s big. No coincidence it ended up being number ten. Let me ask you something. Do you like this shit? You dear reader, do you like it? Are you entertained? Informed? Amused? Honestly.

If you are any of the above, and I sincerely hope you are, I’m asking for your support. Pimp me. Tell your friends. Post my banner on your page. I’m specifically encouraging pretty girls and hot bitches to post my banner.

Shut up. It makes sense.

Only you, can prevent forest fires.

The deal is this. The more readers I have, the better I look to advertisers and that’s easily the best way for you to get to continue to read me for free. See? It’s perfect. Symmetry. Help me out here.

11) Health and Human Services for us all. Happy Holidays.

Drinks for my friends.

There was a shooting in a Toys R Us somewhere down here today. Palm Desert. Not gang related. It was “an argument between two groups of shoppers” -WSJ.

Well now, that’s encouraging. Fighting over what? Toys? Two people dead, so probably at least two dipshits ambling slowly down the aisles of a goddamn toy store carrying guns.

This makes complete sense. If I had kids, I wouldn’t even start planning a shopping trip for them unless I was wearing a firearm and extra clips in my pockets. I’d arm any over twelve going with me.

Sheezus.

Now I understand how so many people voted for McCain.

Americans are in serious need of a bitchslap and it’s on it’s way. That’s the good news. The other news is what’s on the way is more serious than an open backhand. What we have here is a vicious hook.

Just count to two and you’ll be bouncing off something. As per normal, the legitimately stupid and those who spend all day in the short attention span theater will be bouncing on floors.

Man. Why are we so fucking stupid?

I’m confident the most salient reason is a lack of empathy and an abundance of apathy. Everyone is guilty. I, will not be bouncing off the floor, however.

The best thing to do is get involved and stay involved. Even if it’s just paying attention. Reading and listening as opposed to just watching. Take a poll. Write a letter. I hate the idea of sermonizing, but at the very least, pay fucking attention.

Look, if you really stay on top of it, American politics and world events are as compelling and isidious as any daytime drama. Dumbya’s last gasp is to about escape his puzzled countenance and it will stink of pardons and all kinda smelly fuckery. In like a lamb and out like a a rotting bovine tongue.

“I would like to be a person remembered as a person who, first and foremost, did not sell his soul in order to accommodate the political process,” Bush told his sister in an interview released Friday by the White House. “I came to Washington with a set of values, and I’m leaving with the same set of values.” -an interview of George W. Bush conducted by his sister Doro Bush Koch, lifted from chron.com

Poke this idiot out of a dead sleep and he’ll wake up singing Happy Birthday.

He’s just as fascinating as Ozzy Osbourne and only a little less articulate.

Let’s review: Two assholes killed each other in a toy store today, the day after Thanksgiving. The media tells us there was an “argument”. Lesson learned. Always bring your gun while shopping in America. Don’t forget that Dumbya has not compromised his values or sold his soul. He said so.

By far the stupidest man to ever sit in that chair.

We suck.

Drinks for my friends.

Nov 17, 2008 12:49 AM
What If We Let The Banks Fail?
Since the beginning of the financial crisis, one of the things that has been most striking is the unanimity of opinion that large financial institutions cannot be allowed to fail. The conventional wisdom is so one-sided in this regard that nobody (that I’m aware of) has actually gone through the exercise of asking what exactly would be the result if we simply did nothing and allowed the banks to fail. Given the enormous costs we are incurring to prevent this outcome, we have to at least consider the alternative. Would it not be more economical to simply let any bank fail that can’t stand on its own and let the government print money to pay off all the claims of the FDIC?

In broad terms, the banking industry uses three primary inputs in order to fulfill its functions. These inputs are capital, information, and human resources. Obviously much of the first category has been destroyed, but capital can always be rebuilt in time. The other two categories of inputs are largely unaffected by the current crisis. The informational infrastructure of the banking industry is completely intact (and will almost certainly be improved upon as a result of the hard lessons we are currently learning), and the available human capital is undiminished. So, even if the greater part of the banking industry were to cease to exist, new institutions would spring up (and would employ many of the same people – hopefully a little older and wiser now – who staffed the old ones). What would be so terrible about that?

As with a dilapidated house, sometimes the most economical choice is to demolish the existing structure and rebuild a new one from the ground up. At least in this case you know where you stand and your costs are fixed. If you instead refuse to accept reality and go on pouring money into a terminally-flawed structure, there is no end to the amount of money that can be wasted in a futile cause. What if we spend trillions of dollars in an effort to save the banking system but the problems persist? What then?

Our financial authorities seem to be turning a blind eye to the most recent and instructive historical parallel to our current situation. Everyone makes comparisons between the current crisis and the Great Depression, but a more relevant and contemporary example would be the case of Japan in the 1990s. Japan experienced a massive real estate bubble in the 1980s during which the Nikkei stock average reached a high of around 40,000. In 1990 the bubble burst, leaving the Japanese banking industry in shambles. Now, almost 20 years later, the Nikkei stands below 9,000. One of the main reasons for such a protracted period of underperformance is that, rather than allow economic forces to run their inevitable course, the Japanese financial authorities spent years and years trying to prop up an essentially bankrupt banking industry. As a result, the economy remained mired in a recession for the better part of 15 years. Had the authorities simply acknowledged and accepted the bankruptcy of the banking industry and started from scratch, the length of the ensuing recession would almost certainly have been much shorter.

I recently had a discussion with a former colleague in the investment banking industry, and he argued that, in spite of hopes that we have already seen the worst and that things will now start to improve, many existing financial institutions are basically insolvent and will almost certainly get significantly worse. He gave two reasons for believing that the worst is yet to come. First, corporations which have been forced to raise capital quickly have sold their best assets first. This only makes sense, since these are the assets for which there are both demand and observable prices. What is left on the books of these companies is the most toxic, unmarketable assets. Many of these assets haven’t traded in months or years and are therefore marked at prices far above their current value. If these companies are forced to start selling off these lesser-quality assets, the write-downs incurred will be far larger than the ones we have already seen.

The second argument for believing that many institutions (especially hedge funds) are likely to fail has to do with the incentive structure facing the executives of these companies. An ironic consequence of the public outcry against excessive executive compensation is that the best and brightest in the business have greatly reduced incentives to stay and try to turn things around at their present companies. Their compensation is tied to the performance of their equity, and since things have already fallen so far, they know that even if they succeed in avoiding complete collapse, they will never cash in to the extent they had hoped. This creates a strong incentive to walk away and start fresh somewhere else. This trend is already underway in the hedge fund community, and there is no reason to think that it won’t accelerate. So, if we continue to bail out existing institutions, it is likely that we will end up with companies which have sold their best assets and lost their best people. This is yet another argument for taking our lumps now in order to prevent even greater damage down the road.

A final argument for allowing the banks to fail is the message that our current actions send to corporations of the future. If we go down the road of bailing out banks and insurance companies, what is the message that is sent to executives of the future? Businesses will believe that they can always rely on the government to bail them out as a last resort. In an industry that is already based on “playing with other people’s money”, this will almost certainly lead to reduced prudence and less responsibility. In addition, what does it say to non-financial corporations which, in spite of having strong core businesses, are being forced into bankruptcy? Why is it fair that those who caused the problems get rescued while those who were innocent bystanders are left to their own devices?

Conversely, if we simply allow companies to fail, the message will be unambiguous and salutary. Executives in the future will understand that they will suffer the full consequences of their mistakes and their very survival depends on responsible and competent risk management.

All of this is not to say that nothing should be done to support the existing financial industry, but given the enormous cost that is being absorbed by the American public, we owe it to ourselves to at least consider the alternative.

I got nothin. I’m rolling the bones, hoping I can come up with something. Sometimes it works.

Where is everyone on wind chimes? Love hate for me.

I never wear bright red. It’s a dumb color on a man no matter what.

It’s raining. Excellent.

She was a class A cruiser aspirated by an engine that took her to warp in under an hour. I just wanted to write that sentence.

Here we go.

I think the rules for fluids in your carry-on are preposterous. If there just happens to be a regular sized tube of toothpaste in your luggage, it will be seized. Confiscated. It’s because of the barbarian terrorist hordes who storm our train stations and airports every day with ordinary toothpaste tubes filled with high explosives and containers of over four ounces filled with socialist DNA and yellowcake uranium.

Hint: Pay special attention to any retard trying to light his shoes on fire.

Ignore that shit at your own peril.

There are specific rules about the size of your Ziploc. Before you know it, you’re taking off your shoes and trying to remember when you last cut your toenails.

This, while we barely bother to pay attention to over ninety percent of the 20 x 8 foot shipping containers that show up by the tens of thousands on our shores everyday.

Here’s the deal. If they want blow up an airliner or use it as missle, they will. They can poison your water or your food. Nothing we are doing now in terms of security, policy or protocol is even remotely efficacious. Doesn’t even address the problem.

By the way, the bad guys haven’t tried any of that for awhile if ever.

It’s kind of analogous to the saturation of cars with alarms in LA. They pollute the atmosphere everywhere. No one even looks. Mine could be going off within yards of me and I wouldn’t know. It’s an archaic and obsolete solution to a problem that is far too unimportant to warrant the industry that’s prospered around it.

See what I’m saying? These are things they’ve implemented to show you they’re doing something and make you feel better but still afraid. What you should feel is insulted and pissed off.

I’m here to tell you that forcing Americans to study the cubic or liquid volume of their various toiletries is not paying out any dividends in terms of enhanced security. I’m saying it’s really fucking stupid.

See, Ziploc freezer bags make ultimate sense for one’s personal creams, potions and lotions. More than big and durable enough to contain all of ones necessary liquids while protecting the actual luggage from leaks and oozings propagated by the pressure differential that occurs in the cabin of any commercial jet.

Just how dumb are we?

Let me think of another one.

I thought of another one. It’s a really good one. The ultimate in absurd. It’s really big. One of the biggest devices embraced by the Great Unwashed. Gen Pop. Perhaps the most insidiously self defeating institution ever endorsed by humankind. The world’s largest bureaucracy of shame, guilt and hypocrisy.

Starts with an ‘R’.

We’ll save that for another time.

Drinks for my friends.

Fuck me.

So there was this piece on CNN tonight about how Michelle Obama has a chance to alter the stereotype of black women as overwieght, loud and ignorant. Guess what footage they used? Eddie Murphy as his fat obnoxious wife, Rasputia, in “Norbit”.

What?

Blackface.

How lame is that?

I share with you that I’ve dated black women and I’m in a relationship with a black woman and how that stereotype isn’t one I even understand, but what I want to know is, how many of you clueless cracker mouth breathers buy this shit?

Did I mention our new First Lady is the epitome of poise and dignity? Crazy smart and in possession of wisdom and composure beyond her years? Our fortune is not merely about the man.

And, she’s hot.

Fuck you CNN.

Goddamnit.

Anyway.

Spike Lee’s “Do The Right Thing”.

A review. An assessment.

An analysis. Bitch. Oooh.

Excellent film.

Prescient.

Mookey, played by Spike Lee, is far from stupid. He chooses the path of least resistance consistently. Willfully ignorant. A pussy. Not a bad guy, but plagued by his own weakness. Lead antagonist in a movie full of them. Angry?

Yep. No legitimate malice. His circumstances are his own.

Sal, Danny Aiello’s character, ultimately plays bitch to his pride instead of his obvious capacity for compassion.

Sal’s internal conflicts shaped as metaphorical characters and played by his two sons. Each is a side of the war inside him. An ugly day in the life. He’s not necessarily a bigot but circumstances keep piling on. Eventually he is presented with a choice and blows it. Instead of doing the right thing, he chooses the wrong thing and chaos blasts through like a tsunami.

Mookey makes a choice at least as pregnant with bad circumstances and events descend into a maelstrom.

What Lee took pains to show us is the difference between doing the right thing and ignoring it. At the onset of the defining conflict, Sal could have merely invited the dipshit antogonist to bring some pictures of black heros for the wall. At the behest of one black customer, but a gesture everyone from the block would have welcomed, regardless of color or ethnicity.

Simple.

It’s a moment that hangs briefly and then rolls from one unfortunate escalation to another. Hard to watch as Lee does his level best to show us how it can happen and how ridiculous it often is. In the end, the Korean grocer plays by example. He tells the angry mob sincerely that he is black, just like them, and they understand. His life and business are not demolished in front of his eyes.

The scene defines the the movie and the message as much as any other. Sal on his corner for decades and the Koreans across the street for less than two years. Reactions dictate fate. Life goes on. Sal loses.

Powerful stuff.

My hero is Ozzie Davis. “The Mayor”. The Mayor embraces humility just after saving a boy’s life by risking his own. He sees what’s coming and does the best he can. The protagonist is Sal. As innocent as a man can be in a morality play such as this. Same as Mookey, until the end of the film where they both fail spectacularly. The antogonist is the neighborhood, the police and racism from every side.

The antogonist is a malaise.

The catalyst is the heat.

It’s a fascinating film that looks like a play. It is a play. I became a Spike Lee fan today.

My girlfriend who just happens to have her ethnicity enhanced by blackness, you know, African, says this, “Spike played the character Mookey and that’s one letter different than Monkey -Spike Lee is annoyed by the willfully ignorant black man.”

Then she tells me something far more interesting. She tells me Our Man’s chances of achieving what he has would have been substantially reduced were he a descendant of slaves and the product of black mother and white father. She tells me this would have been a result of the way he saw himself and of little consequence in the way we saw him.

How interesting is that? That’s racism. The hidden, ugly, pervasive head thereof. Damn. A special brand of vulgar.

Makes it obvious we’re not even close.

Still, beauty to be had. America has chosen a liberal black man to lead us. We didn’t choose him because he’s black. We chose him because he looks to be our best chance.

Begs the question, what’s next?

So many Americans aren’t ready for this. It’s my guess the midwest has shat itself, if only from confusion. I’m hoping the rednecks have crapped themselves moistureless and moved on to iced coffee and some goddamn sense. You don’t have to order a bagle or a muffin. You can have toast.

Forgive me, but I worry. We need to sail over the torpor and wash it it out of our mouths. Spit out any violence. Everybody. Not just us. All of us. Look at me. All of us.

Conventional wisdom seems to have out shouted cognitive dissonance. Nice.

From your heart try to be respectful at least once or twice. Sometimes it gets heavy. Trust me I have.

Do your best. Walk right out into a brand new day.

Stop being such pussies.

Drinks for my friends.

We’re fucked.

In the past few months the market has lost forty seven percent of it’s value. Unemployment is a vertical dragrace. A precipitous ascent. These two items represent America’s testicles. The market and jobs is our nutsack. Balls meet vise.

There’s probably not a single business in this country that could weather a near fifty percent reduction in revenue and stay afloat. America, and the globe, are in huge trouble. We are in a free fall. I’m glad I have a place to go. There’s room for my stereo. Barely. Limited growing season, but that might change.

Bill Maher said that he always knew Dumbya had one giant fuck up left in him. Here it is on a platter. The mother of them all. Saved the worst for last. Where are the neocons on this anyway? Where the hell is Dumbya and Darth? Fucking clowns aren’t gonna do shit. They’ll wait it out and then take a walk.

A long time coming. Decades. Any fool with common sense understood our lifestyle wasn’t sustainable. The raw material we consume. The resources we exhaust and the pollution we spew.

I’m a little pissed my generation has to bear the burden. It matters not where the bodies are buried. If your at all curious, check your own backyard. Pervasive.

No one single action will solve this debacle. There is no magic bullet. We are in for a very long night.

Get ready, things are about to change.

Having said that, we need to tip the fuck out of Iraq and seriously slash defense spending. Pay the troops, take care of the vets, maintain infrastructure and walk away from everything else. Sounds drastic and it is, but once the DOW dropped below eight thousand and stayed there, the theoretical bottom disappeared.

This will take a decade at least.

Our Man is bequeathed a shitstorm of extraordinary magnitude. A cat five economic hurricane. I worry that he’ll spend his first term putting his fingers in holes as opposed to being able to move us forward. No matter what, the blood will make it to the stairs. Americans are impatient and stupid and I worry they’ll see it as an ineffective Presidency.

Bleak, bleak, bleak.

I’ve got ER on the plasma with the sound off and see that it’s pretty much the same. I learn US Attorney General Mukasey took a dive at the podium in front of the federalists. I see that gas prices are looking for bottom. This is not good news. Bear witness as the harbingers of doom testify.

It’s not just that we’ll be poorer. My ass is broke. I’ll find my own way out. I can deal with that. It’s the inevitable atrophy of society that gives me pause. Crime and corruption will enjoy a renaissance. We will be less safe from ourselves, never mind the mythical terrorists.

Get ready for an army of homeless. Abandoned vehicles. Fire. Food shortages. Fuel shortages.

See, I’m not looking to lower expectations, it’s just that the complexity and severity of what we all face is a long fast moving train with brakes that will take awhile. We might just aspire to counting ourselves lucky if we’re treading in the same water we are today four years from now. It may just look like a victory come 2012.

It’s bad.

Official brainspank prediction is that markets rebound enough tomorrow to prevent mass suicide this weekend. At least a few hundred points, probably four or five. Get ‘er up over eight.

See what I’m saying?

Drinks for my friends.

Cheney and Gonzales indicted by grand jury. Stevens loses in Alaska and Lieberman gets to carry on while we try to move on. Tres Grandes beg for big cash and I can’t believe Our Man is smiling. Sheezus.

I hate that Benedict Fliptop gets off easy. He sucks. If he doesn’t owe, there won’t be an ounce of flesh from anybody else. No truth, no consequences. Harry Reid says nolo contendere. It’s done. Pussies. Flopsweat cowboys in big stupid hats.

“(CNN) — A grand jury in south Texas indicted Vice President Dick Cheney and former Attorney General Alberto Gonzales on separate charges related to alleged prisoner abuse in federal detention centers, Willacy County District Attorney Juan Angel Guerra told CNN Tuesday”

I hear this guy’s a bit of a loose cannon, already voted out of office and described by an underling’s lawyer as a “one man circus.” Whatever. Godlovehim. He got a grand jury to indict Gonzales and the VP. Get his headstone ready and make sure this deed is etched upon it. Let’s start an aluminium can drive to pay for it. Ha! Give that man a can of warm beer and an American flag. Lifetime supply of Slim Jims and special packages from Frito Lay, Hostess and Kraft. Free cable. Nascar tickets.

What we have here is an American.

Meanwhile, having just been dropped by an air & sea rescue helicopter onto the deck of the USS Fuck Me Runnin’, Obama had this to say via ship radio, “Wow, this shit is fucking whack. Where’s the goddamn bridge? We need an assload of helicopters ’cause we aint staying here. Si se puede get us the fuck out of here.”

HillRod for Secretary of State by God!

This man is walking towards the four horses of the apocalypse. He has a water pistol. I trust. He’s as good or better swordsman than anyone else who had a shot. Handy with a sixgun. He’s about to be ambushed by the full weight of the world. A world, in as close to as bad a shape as anytime in written history.

He knows this.

And he’s smiling.

Hands folded in his lap.

Looked Steve Kroft in the eye Sunday night and had a lot to say. Just as cool as could be. A full hour on 60 Minutes. *President Cucumber. Awe inspiring composure. The most intelligent and well executed campaign I’ve ever seen. Best that anyone alive has ever seen. He suffered the slings and arrows and just kept coming.

He just kept coming. Extraordinary and we’re about to find out how.

Will Atlas shrug?

I say, he’s not too sexy for his shirt.

Walk right out into a brand new day.

Drinks for my friends.

*nickname alert

Damned if we do, damned even further if we don’t.

I agree with Our Man and Ben Stein even.

If we weren’t in an unprecedented economic clusterfuck, gaining speed and momentum while heading down the rapids towards a mile high waterfall, it might be different. I’d be inclined to say say fuck ’em. Talk about obtuse mismanagement. These CEO’s should all be thrown over a clothesline with their dicks tied together.

Particularly GM Stud Duck, Rick Wagoner. An eater of lead paint chips in charge of the retarded.

These guys suck. In a more perfect world, they should be placed on a park bench, allowed to fondle themselves and get thrown in jail for lewd and lascivious behavior. Blueblood induced retardation.

Maybe that’s what’s up here. Too much inbreeding of what was once the Intelligentsia. Now candidates for Down’s syndrome and systemic organ failure. No longer the smartest guys in the room.

Fortunately for them and unfortunately for us, we allow their implosion at our peril. That blows, but it is what it is.

With the loss of jobs at a precipitously precarious point, we simply cannot afford to let this proliferate. Sorry about that.

So, let’s figure out what’s needed to put these monolithic companies back on track. Make sure the emphasis is on green technology, reasearch and development. Start the eco-friendly foundation for America’s new infrastructure right there. The auto industry. Nice cornerstone. Symbolic even.

That sounds like a really good idea to me. Seriously.

Next, we take the top brass from all three, place them in low income housing in Bakersfield, limit their grocery alternatives to convenience stores, no cable, no air conditioning and the only booze options being Pabst Blue Ribbon and white zinfandel. What the hell, they get toothless whores and access to bad biker speed that reeks of petrochemicals and has a pinkish hue.

Board games and cards. They’ll be shanking each other within weeks.

I’m not without compassion you know.

Seriously, this should be an official government program. All executives from every financial institution that fails should be forced to live in the same complex under the same circumstances.

All there would be left to do is fence it off, put up some razor wire and hire guards with a history of violence and opposition to authority. Make sure they’re well equipped and have the latest weaponry and armor at their disposal and we’re done here.

All Bakersfield all the time.

See, the neoconservative maxim is, accuse your opponent of exactly what you’re shoulders deep into. This isn’t just fisting. That’s how they arrived at the ‘socialist’ and/or ‘terrorist’ smears this time around. They have terrorized the American people for decades and their policies will force us into a kind of socialism, at least temporarily, to save ourselves.

Bet your ass, while we go about pursuing change and righting the wrongs, the better we do, the louder they will scream those very things. Fucktards. Idiot mouth breathing soldiers of willfull ingnorance.

Fuck me. Fuck them. Fuck anything that moves.

Drinks for my friends.

We shall overcome.

The difference in hard numbers between those who voted against fair and equal rights for gays last time around and this time, prop. 8, is staggering. Encouraging.

20 plus points in two thousand as compared to four points this time. Talk about a shrinking violet. You thinking what I’m thinking? Do the math.

Progressives need to start pushing for a ballot initiative post haste. We need to get one on the ballot every election cycle. It’s a matter of time. The seismic upheaval we witnessed in this election has not begun to run dry of portent. Nope. As of this writing, it grows and gains strength. The downtrodden realize that their voice is legitimate and vital.

Fight fire with fire. Watch the jaws of the bigots drop as we push to put this issue on the ballot over and over until enough die off and allow us the majority we need for one of the last and most important civil rights issues to prevail.

Walk right out into a brand new day.

The tyranny of a majority is near to being obsolete.

The irony of Mormon culpability in all this rocks my planet. That these sick, sacred underwear wearing fucks, take it upon themselves to inject their archaic moral standards into modern American life is beyond audacious. What possible reason could such pious idiots have for the steaming hardon they brandish exclusively for homosexuals?

Just who the fuck do you think you are?

The extreme ends of their cult, the sick and disgusting fringe of their dogma, would make your average Southern Baptist blush and run to refill his flask. Revoke their tax exempt status for the role they played. They waded into politics and it should cost them. I’m sick and fucking tired of religion intruding into public policy and politics.

There is no religious bureaucracy in this country that isn’t guilty. They should all have their tax exempt status jerked away. I will tell you that the very idea religious institutions in this country deserve to enjoy any autonomy at all is ridiculous.

Money may be the root of all evil but money and religion are synonymous.

Tony Perkins from the Family Research Council is an asshole. He and his ilk are a dying breed. The racism and discrimination he and his organization espouse are near obsolete. I’m not reluctant to share with you that I despise this prick and all his misguided minions.

Organized religion is mankind’s single biggest mistake.

The single most positive thing human beings can accomplish in my lifetime is to walk away from this absurd idea of Santa in the sky.

“Two men say theyre jesus one of them must be wrong” -Mark Knopfler

Drinks for my friends.

Nov 12, 2008 7:25 PM
Why The Bailout Isn’t Working
Treasury Secretary Hank Paulson announced today that the government will not be purchasing troubled assets from banks, as they had previously planned to do. This is a startling reversal, given that this was the centerpiece of the original bailout package. Such an abrupt about-face is hardly encouraging as it begs the question of what exactly the government has been doing all this time and calls into question whether those in charge really have any idea how to solve our problems.

It is common knowledge by now that the root cause of our financial difficulties is excessive debt. Across the whole economic landscape – from individual homeowners to corporations to the government – everyone dug themselves into financial holes that they are now unable to climb out of. This being the case, doesn’t it seem odd that the government’s solution to the crisis is to borrow even more money to shower upon the financial sector in hopes that they will start lending again? This is like treating a patient suffering from alcohol poisoning by force-feeding him another drink.

Yes, functioning credit markets are an essential part of a modern industrial economy, but we seem to have lost sight of the fact that the ultimate health of an economy is based on individuals and corporations creating, buying, and selling valuable goods and services. Yet virtually all of the money the government is spending on its rescue efforts are aimed at Wall Street rather than Main Street. The credit markets ought to be the servant of the real economy, rather than the other way around.

Does nobody find it strange that, while hardly anyone bats an eyelash at the latest hundred-billion-dollar bailout of a bank or insurance company, we hear nothing of plans for increased public spending on infrastructure, technology, or education? Is it really better use of taxpayer money to pour countless billions into a financial black hole like AIG rather than investing in technology and education which will improve the long-term ability of American workers and corporations to compete in the global economy? What if, instead of spending a trillion dollars to help banks avoid the consequences of their own foolishness, we spent that money on building bridges and roads, developing alternative energy, and retraining American workers with outdated skills?

Forgetting for a moment the question of fairness, let’s consider from a purely practical point of view which approach to rescuing the economy is most likely to work.

All of the measures aimed at repairing the credit markets are based on the presupposition that once banks stop the financial bleeding they will resume “normal lending”, thereby rescuing the economy. The rationale underlying this argument is based on a very questionable assumption. Even if banks are willing to lend, borrowers need to perceive attractive uses for capital or they will have no incentive to utilize the available credit. After all, if someone offered you a zero interest loan to purchase real estate right now, would you do it? Two years ago virtually everyone would have answered this question in the affirmative, but things have changed since then.

In the absence of solid investment opportunities, the government can print all of the money it wants, but it may still be incapable of stimulating the real economy. I would argue that the trauma of the last several months has fundamentally changed public attitudes to debt and that a return to “normal lending” is neither possible nor desirable. Do we really want to go back to a state in which people borrow as much as they possibly can in order to buy bigger TVs and homes they can’t really afford?

If, on the other hand, the government announced that it was going to spend a trillion dollars to repair roads and bridges, build wind farms, and retrain American workers, the stimulative effects would be far more certain. Millions of jobs would be created and those millions of employees would have an increased ability to spend and invest. This seems like a far more effective way of battling the current crisis than pouring money into banks and insurance companies in the hopes that they will return to business as usual.

How do we do this?

Sure, it was a landslide. By popular vote Our Man won by nearly ten million. Seven points separating him from Doubtfire. Look at the map, more blue than I’ve ever seen. America bleeds red, but her map has rarely been more blue. Indiana, North Carolina and Virginia? 364 electoral votes to 163. A thumpin’.

A shit sandwich on a week old hot dog bun with colonies of green and blue spores. No mayo no mustard, no lube whatsoever. The cheese is hard and sweaty. Flies.

In place is the single most imperative mandate I’ve witnessed in my adult life. For change. For hope. America is loud and clear. We’ve been offered this sandwich says She. We say, fuck this shit.

Torture, rendition, spying on our own without a warrant, indefinite incarceration, election fraud, preemptive war and aggression with nothing but bullshit justification, raids on the public coffers, Habeas Corpus rendered null and void, same deal for Posse Comitatus. A Constitution in tatters. It really does go on and on.

Here’s the sobering part. The reckoning.

Almost fifty nine million Americans voted for McCain. That many citizens of this country giving at least a tacit nod of approval by proxy for all this fuckery. Among them are bigots, racists, people with shitloads of money but without soul or conscience. The ignorant and the evil.

The scared.

We are still badly broken. Prop 8 passed in California. Racism and bigotry alive and well in this land of opportunity. How soon we forget. As recently as 1967, marriage between black and white was against the law in sixteen states. For those who would posit that the the law is the law and now constitutional, that we should let it be, succumb and surrender, I say piss up a fucking rope. I say this, because it is wrong.

Bitch slap: In california it was mormons and the minorities turning out for Obama who pushed prop 8 over the goddamn seawall. Narrow and deep irony. It’s a civil rights issue. Shame on you. Mormons are polluted by stupidity and ingnorance. Blacks and Latinos should be ashamed. Bad form. Hypocritical.

America is still profoundly fucked up.

History shows us that almost every worthwhile struggle starts at the bottom of a very steep hill. This one, no different. It will be ugly. Hearts and lives rent asunder along the way.

We’re no longer at the bottom. I can’t say how far we’ve come, but we are about to find out. Fascinating times. The paradigm shifts. Lava begins to rush.

So, how do we do this? Martin Luther King bequeathed upon us the most valuable and sagacious of maxims; consistent, unswerving, intelligent and righteous resistance. Absent violence of any kind.

There’s a remote chance that by asking them the same question over and over, they will realize how stupid the answer is. Don’t forget to tell them that you are a fiscal conservative. Lots of liberals are. They like that shit, they think they believe in it.

Let’s talk about the ‘scared’ shall we? I’ll be brave and guess that’s the common denominator between a third and half of the the almost 59 million. We need to find these frightened folks and get them a better haircut. Shave them if necessary. Treat them nice. Feed them well. Be kind.

Who doesn’t like pancakes with peanut butter?

A complimentary delousing. Free tupperware and sporks. New socks.

There plenty of fights to be had. Most will be easy to pick. For a lot of us however, our job is to engage. Get involved. No need to be confrontational, talk about what you care about. Keep it on the front page.

Forgive me. I’m serious. Waste no time on the dogmatic idealogues. They’re too far gone. Falwell can tell them to eat the children. He could and they would. Ever look into an evangelical’s eyes?

Find those eyes frozen by the headlights. Buy them a taco. Lead them from winter to spring. They’ll be melancholy for the previous season and nostalgic for the Abominable Snowman. Try to present the new season as fresh and hopeful. Point out the flowers and that animals both wild and domestic are fucking like mad.

Who doesn’t like pancakes with peanut butter?

You can see I’m struggling with this. I’m convinced on an intellectual level I’ve nailed it. Up here on the top floor, I own it. Not only makes sense but it’s wise.

Down below, closer to me gulliver, I’m all about making them pay. Evil or just plain stupid, they deserve some amount of consequence. Pricks. Dipshits.

But that’s no good, see?

The hopeless will resent it, the fearful won’t understand and they’ll hold it against us. Be nice to conservatives, at least until you figure them out.

Who doesn’t like pancakes with peanut butter?

Your mission is to figure them out and determine who is worth your time. Coming soon, a national Adopt a Pants Shitting Conservative Day.

Drinks for my friends.

Elections Have Consequences
“Elections have consequences.”

George W. Bush

In 2006 Americans in large numbers threw out Republicans from the House of Representatives. Hoping for real change, but stymied by a 51-49 Senate, and an immovable president, the demands of the electorate were not met. With a 6% victory in the general election and a landslide victory in the Electoral College Barack Obama will enter the White House with a mandate from the American people, and the power to do what the electorate has asked him to do.

When it comes to energy, we demanded a change to the status quo. We have spoken and we want a clear path to energy independence. It may not be the way the Republicans wanted, but “Elections have consequences.”

With at least 2 appointments coming up in the Supreme Court, we demanded a change from the types of appointments of the last 8 years, Roberts and Alito. “Elections have consequences.”

The tax laws of the last 8 years have been criticized greatly over the course of the presidential campaign. We demanded a change to the tax code, one that would give breaks to the middle class while dismantling the Bush tax cutes. “Elections have consequences.”

The efforts to deregulate everything over the last three decades have left us with a run away financial market, industries allowed to regulate themselves, with miserable results. Obama enters office with the demand from the American people to fix this first! “Elections have consequences.”

Milton Friedman’s economics are out! “Elections have consequences.”

Pre-emptive war, aka the Bush (Cheney) doctrine, the one percent doctrine, has led to reckless actions around the globe. The American people have spoken. We voted in huge numbers for more direct negotiations with all nations. “Elections have consequences.”

The Neo-Cons will not be welcome in this administration. “Elections have consequences.”

While we will continue to support Israel in all ways, we will no longer turn our backs on the plight of the Palestinian people, or other less fortunate citizens of the world. “Elections have consequences.”

The bottom line is that we live in a society where the masses have a role in our government. We vote, and this time we voted in huge numbers. So, to my friends on the other side of the isle, “Elections have consequences.”

Get over it!

J

I’m just still in awe.

What has happened here is awesome. Forgive me, there is no better word.

I’m so pleased to see America do the right thing. In big ass overwhelming numbers. Historic margins. Dumbya had the retarded sense to declare a mandate after he stole a very close election. Yo Dumbya, check this mandate.

Bitch.

What exactly is up with Biden’s hair? Musta been humid.

Look what we did. Just look at it. They threw a trailer park of kitchen sinks at him and he prevailed with volume and velocity.

Never ever lost his cool. Not once. Flawless run. Every crisis dealt with aplomb. Not a step wrong. Amazing composure and dignity.

He’s just so fucking cool.

I’m pretty sure we don’t have to worry about him getting caught recieving a hummer in The Oval. We will never know. Michelle is pretty smokin.

The arc of history.

We all have limitations and we do well to own them. There is less than one in a million who don’t. Our man is one of those. He’s already shown us that.

He is the literal exception to almost every rule. By name and by face alone, one would imagine he had not a hope in hell. I am so impressed.

He’s our next President, bitch.

I can’t wait.

I’ll tell you why. It’s not his experience or lack thereof. Not his many accomplishments. Not his consistent countenance in the face of adversity.

It is his obvious intelligence and his ordinary life before his rapid acceleration. Despite his ears and the color of his skin, it is his humility.

In my mind, it is the difference between him and every other politician I’ve seen in my life. He’s a good solid man with a beautiful family. He is fierce. This man is not here to fuck around. There will be no Katrina size clusterfucks on Our Man’s watch.

It is astounding to put this man in the same sentence as George W. Bush. The idiot and the savant. Sounds like a pretty good one act play.

The reason I’m so in awe has everything to do with difference between the absolute moron who’s been the titular head of our country and therefore the free world for eight fucking years and the man we elected by absolute storm yesterday.

I kept asking why this was a contest. Turns out it wasn’t

Amazing.

Drinks for my friends.

Nov 6, 2008 12:55 AM
I’m proud of my country for the first time in my life…
I feel like an American for the first time in my life. For the very first time in my life I feel like a part of the fabric that is America.

This bears some explanation. Up to this point in history, America has not kept its promise of liberty and justice for all so when asked to stand and say the pledge, I would sometimes stand but my hands remained at my side and never over my heart during the recitation. Or I would recite it but change the words to: “…with liberty and justice for ‘some.'” If I was feeling especially rebellious I would respectfully decline to even stand up.

Why? Well, being born black I have witnessed and experienced directly and indirectly — racism and sexism so I never felt a part of The United States of America. Not really. I felt no particular loyalty nor even patriotic in regards to this country. The flag was just a piece of colored material to me. Nothing more. I even told my Canadian friends that I may become a refugee and asked if I could sleep on their couch. I enrolled in French classes because at least the French hate everything and everyone equally.

As Kermie said, “It’s not easy being green.” Try black Kermie. Sometimes it’s downright fucked up.

After 9/11, I was equally as horrified, saddened, enraged and heartbroken as my fellow citizens — but when my workplace gave us free lapel pins of the American flag, mine quietly went into my desk drawer. I did not put a flag on my car. I didn’t care if the flag touched the ground and would have wiped my ass with it with no hesitation whatsoever if no toilet paper was available. I remember riding in the car with some co-workers who saw a car with a faded and wind-tattered flag. They both exclaimed, “Hey Buddy! Show some respect! Get a new flag.” What I felt was indifference, apathy and sometimes outright disgust towards my citizenship in the US because it did not include me. I was in it but not of it.

You see, America has been a bitter pill stuck in my throat my whole life. No, I was never a slave but my grandmother’s half-brother was missing several fingers. Fingers that his master chopped off for disobedience. Yes, disobedience. I can’t even imagine getting my dog’s tail docked much less doing this to another human being.

The wealth of this country was built on this free labor system and enforced with terror and brutality and those people never received back pay once slavery was abolished. But they did get more grief and terror in the years to follow. Many black people ended up as tree ornaments in the years to come. They also tried to deny us citizenship! The U.S. Government actually sanctioned this hateful chapter in American history.

Many captured German soldiers were treated FAR better than the black men in uniform fighting for this country during World War II. After living through the 1960’s and seeing everyone who spoke of peace, love and equality murdered — I just could not put my hand over my heart or fly a flag. After knowing of and witnessing the struggle for the simplest of freedoms — all people of color for decades had to go through – my hand would not, could not cover my heart for the pledge because this American didn’t include me. For the Forth of July — when the groomers at Petsmart put red, white and blue bows in my dog’s hair – I had them remove them. Yes, my dispassion, vitriol and lassitude ran deep.

I loved Larry Flynt for using the flag as a diaper during his First Amendment fights. Good ‘ole Larry! When I would hear people say, “This is the greatest country in the world!” I always had to suppress a sarcastic sneer. “For you maybe — but not for me.” There were days that I just didn’t want to be black anymore. I wanted a day off. I just wanted to be a person.

So when I cast my vote in the primary, it was for Hillary. I wanted someone who would positively defeat the Republican candidate. Then when Obama began to pull ahead, I still don’t think I really believed he’d win. I never dreamed that I’d see a black president in The White House in my lifetime. I cast my vote about 2 weeks ago but I refused to watch the returns last night. I wanted to just turn on the TV at 4am and know who the next president was. But at about 8:45pm, I had to take a peak.

No one was more stunned to the point of speechlessness than I when they referred to “President-elect Obama.” I just sat there agog with my mouth wide open – slack-jawed — but my heart was racing. Then my eyes filled with tears. I felt like The Grinch when his heart grows three times its size. Then a feeling COMPLETELY alien to me began to fill my heart…pride in my country!!!!!

Say what? Say what? Say what? Yes…pride. This is now my America…and your America. It’s OUR America. A majority of our voices spoke — and elected a man who happened to be black — for President of the United States of America. America didn’t care that he was black but thought he was most fit to lead this country. We are a family now.

I even pimped out my myspace page with…an American flag theme.

America, FUCK YEAH!!!!!!

I was moved by his candor, his refusal use negative campaign ads, and his message of inclusive rather than exclusive and unity rather than division. I had grown so tired of negative campaign ads, personal attacks, and hitting-below-the-belt politics that I would just hit the mute button on the TV for all commercial time.

I’ve become more and more enlightened and positive over the years and I had high hopes. Our new president-elect now proves that I am a part of The United States of America. Though I have no children, my niece and nephews now know that if they study and work hard, they too can become whatever they want. Before yesterday, there was the mute clause of, “But you can’t be president!” That is gone now. Women, Native-Americans, Asian-Americans, Latino Americans, African-Americans, gay, lesbian and Jewish-Americans can now hold the highest office in the country. This is not a victory for African-Americans but for all Americans period.

We chose a candidate who believes in peace and unity. We voted for renewable energy, stem cell research, lower fuel prices, and to stop global warming. We voted to end the theocracy, idiocy and utter lunacy of the last eight years. We voted for separation of church and state. We voted that science should be taught in science class and not Intelligent Design. What the fuck is that anyway? Sounds like an oxymoron. It belongs in church, not science class. We voted for gay rights and women’s rights.

I just couldn’t be more proud of my country for the first time in my entire life!

Well, this morning I couldn’t find ENOUGH red, white and blue to wear. When I spoke to my father last night he said he was going to purchase his first American flag. I rummaged through my desk drawer but all I could find was my red, white and blue liberty bell pin so I put that on too.

One of my Republican friends said, “George W. Bush fucked it up so bad for the Republicans that American would have elected a grapefruit rather than another Republican!” Yeah…maybe so. Or maybe the pickin’ were better… stronger…faster than the last two times.

My only disappointment was the fact that Proposition 8 passed. But I was damned proud of Samuel L. Jackson for his commercial against it. But maybe our new President can do something on the federal level. I sure hope so!

Hope. Such a lovely word.

I feel so much hope for our country.

America, FUCK YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Say baby, do you wanna lay down with me?
Say baby, do you wanna lay down by my side?
Baby, do you wanna lay down with me?
Say baby
Say baby

Say baby, do you wanna lay down with me?
Say baby, do you wanna lay down by my side?
Baby, do you wanna lay down with me?
Say baby
Say baby” -Primus

The day is upon us.

You woke this morning and by days end, the world will be different.

Regardless of the result, history will happen to us all.

I’m just trying to get some pot so I can watch the returns in SENSURROUND.

I can’t help it. I’m all aflutter. Veklempt even.

It goes without saying that if you don’t vote today, I’ll come down your chimney and stab you in the eye with a rusty fork.

If you’re a good Democrat, a responsible progressive or an honest liberal and you somehow manage to avoid the polls today, I will blind you with my fork and turn that fork on your car. Your rootbeer colored Ford. If I have time and enough mud, I’ll crap at your main entrance. I will leave a pile or nothing at all.

If you’re a dipshit conservative mindless Republican, I’ll be by tomorrow with muffins and juice. After all, that’s your day to vote because you’re so goddamn special and elite. Yes, just avoid November Four, the day my rent becomes delinquent. You’re a member of the ruling class. Who would deny someone of your stature a little next day action? No lines. No hassle.

Just sit this one out. Seriously. You’re not needed here. Not this time. We’re fine without you. You’re covered. No one will know. Don’t risk the hair on your knuckles.

My apologies. I had every intention to impart a sober and thoughtful message.

Finnegan begin again.

***CNN has just projected Barack Hussein Obama as the next President of The United States***

Salty water spills down my face and over my shit eating grin.

What we have here is a successful communication. The real deal. A man who’s intentions are good. Strong and confident. Steady. Calm. Intelligent. Resolute.

What we have here is a lanslide. A majority, an aggregate of Americans have spoken with a very clear voice. Resounding. Overwhelming. A mandate. We are saying we’ve had enough. Finally. En Masse. Finally.

I honestly don’t know what to say. Yep, the polls have been going our way, but it was such a long shot for so long. I’ve confessed before that I didn’t think he stood a snowball’s chance in a weapons foundry. Until this year, I had no reason to think I was wrong.

He just kept coming.

Then he impressed us. Over and over.

Instead of a mea culpa over Reverend Wright, we received a most sensitive and scholarly treatise ever afforded a national audience on the subject of race. Delivered by a man half black, in a way that compelled every thinking man to think.

It’s not that I didn’t like him. I just didn’t think he had a chance and I was overly protective of my political sensitivities. I can be fragile you know.

I was afraid America would come to covet a blowtorch after the seas we’ve been forced to sail. A firebrand blowhard capable of nothing but recklessness.

True to form, we flirted with disaster. A cranky old man on the verge of dementia and a woman so ill prepared as to force prominent stalwarts of her own party to flee braying nonsense with fear and confusion in their eyes.

Could the blackhats possibly have fucked this up any worse?

Nope.

It’s Comedy.

Comedy is not pretty.

Good comedy is always ugly. Always. Always funny as fuck though.

The eve of hope. Not merely hope, but anticipation. We now expect and have the right to anticipate change. A change in the way the world sees us. With luck, a change in the way we see ourselves. Not red or blue. Not clinging to one ideology while in disgust of another. A collective of independent Americans with a common concern for the welfare of us all.

“We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, ensure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.”

Fucking A.

A triumph over racism, bigotry and ignorance. Arms wide open. Instead of a step, how about a running jump? Perhaps a little too awesome?

We need to make it an aspect of our culture that he who would harbor unfounded bias be ashamed and shunned. This, so the rest of us can get on with it.

America will never be one. Not one thing. Not one idea. Not one people.

Having said that, it’s not so exclusive for us to move in concert. Tonight is proof. There is a considerable chasm between nationalism and patriotism. We have moved together to refute the bullshit visited upon us for the last eight years. The American people are done with this shit. THIS SHIT. Is over.

The numbers are formididable. Decisive. Impressive.

It is time for patriotism. It is one thing to vote for the man. It’s entirely another to stand behind him. Time to get on your feet people. The worst is yet to come and resting on your knees won’t do.

There will be a Democratic House and a Democratic Senate. There will be a Democratic President. The window to turn things around opened today. It could close in a mere two years if we’re not careful. Understand, this victory only guarantees a seat at the table. We will be allowed to play. We will have some juice. That is all.

We must play well and with purpose. Change will commence once we’ve held our own for a few seasons.

I’m rambling. What I’m trying to tell you is that nothing ends today. Everything starts. Now is the best time to be not an individual, but an American. It begins today.

“Ill walk right out into a brand new day
Insane and rising in my own weird way
I dont want to be the bad guy

I dont want to do your sleepwalk dance anymore
I just want to feel some sunshine
I just want to find some place to be alone” -Everclear

What has happened here is the best man won.
Yes, he’s black.
He didn’t win because he’s black.
He won despite being black.

He kept the color of his skin from being an isssue by making it about the content of his character.

Here’s the deal. He’s so fucking cool.

Drinks for my friends.

Oct 29, 2008 1:58 AM
An Open Letter to the CEO of Citigroup
In 1994 I had the opportunity to have dinner one-on-one with the current CEO of Citigroup, Vikram Pandit. At the time I was employed as a trader in the Japanese equity derivatives department at Morgan Stanley, which Mr. Pandit oversaw. He struck me as a decent, thoughtful, ego-free person. Given that he is now a central player in crafting the changes that are occurring in the financial markets, I wanted to share my thoughts with him on the proposed reforms. It is my belief that all of the measures currently under consideration miss the most important aspect of the overall picture — i.e. the role of money. It is my hope that someone in a position like Mr. Pandit’s might promote the argument that the reforms currently under consideration are inadequate and that if we fail to address the fundamental problems with money itself we will at best accomplish a temporary fix for our problems.

Following is the text of the letter:

Oct. 29, 2008

Dear Vikram,

I know that your time these days is subject to intense demands, so I don’t expect that you will necessarily have the time to read (much less respond to) this letter. That being said, I have spent a good deal of time over the past several years thinking about issues of monetary economics, and I have some thoughts which are relevant to the current crisis.

As I watch the unfolding drama of the attempt to save the financial system, I can’t help but despair that all of the proposed reforms ignore the most fundamental cause of our problems. We can (and should) update our regulatory framework, improve transparency, etc., but unless we address the heart of the matter – i.e. the nature of money itself – we will only be instituting a temporary fix for a perpetual problem. It will always be the case that in the aftermath of a crisis there is outcry for reform and regulation, but as the memory of a crisis recedes, the pursuit of profit inevitably overwhelms the abilities and resources of the regulators. New abuses arise which eventually lead to the next crisis.

Since I recall that you were an economics professor before you became a banker, I wonder if you are familiar with the work of Silvio Gesell. Gesell was a German monetary theorist from the first part of the 20th century. His ideas largely fell into obscurity due to the fact that he was on the losing side of two world wars, but Keynes was a great admirer of his work (which is how I became acquainted with it). Keynes believed Gesell’s thinking on the subject of money to be unsurpassed and famously predicted, “the future will learn more from the spirit of Gesell than from that of Marx.”

In brief, I would summarize Gesell’s thinking as follows. Traditional money is a fundamentally flawed tool for accomplishing the purposes for which it is intended. More precisely, of the two purposes for which it is intended – i.e. as a medium of exchange and a store of value – only the former is proper and appropriate. By trying to accomplish both, we are asking the impossible, since the two are not fully compatible, and when they work at cross purposes the results can be extremely harmful. He argues that by asking money to serve also as a store of value, we end up with a fatally flawed medium of exchange.

In more concrete terms, Gesell starts from the most basic proposition of economics – i.e. that commerce operates as a result of the interaction of supply and demand. He then observes that, while real goods are subject to a natural “penalty to hoarding” (i.e. storage costs, decay, etc.) and are therefore compelled to be offered for sale regardless of whether the producer incurs a profit or loss, money is subject to no such compulsion. (Incidentally, I noticed today that the top financial headline is about the White House urging banks to stop hoarding money. Well, of course they’re hoarding money; it is the only logical thing to do under these conditions.)

Money is therefore able to exact a “tribute” (i.e. interest) for its services and will withdraw if this tribute is not assured. This is why deflation is the greatest nightmare of the financial authorities. In a deflationary environment money withdraws, and monetary policy is powerless to compel its circulation. In Gesell’s words:

“The present form of money acts as intermediary for the exchange of wares only on condition that it receives a tribute… No tribute, no exchange… This profit has nothing in common with the merchant’s profit; it is a separate effect produced by money itself, a tribute which money is able to extract because, unlike all other wares, it is free from the material compulsion of being offered for sale… Without this tribute, money will not be offered in exchange, and without money to effect exchanges no wares will reach their destination. If, for any reason, money cannot exact its accustomed tribute, there is a crisis; wares lie where they are and rot… If we now consider the conditions upon which money offers its services as medium of exchange, we see that commerce is mathematically impossible with falling prices.”

It is this property of traditional money that is largely responsible for the seemingly inevitable crises that plague modern capitalism. This is what is at the root of the dilemma facing the Fed right now. We are in a classic Keynesian “liquidity trap”, and the Fed is “pushing on a string” in an effort to stimulate the economy. They can print as much money as they want and lower interest rates to zero, but as long as people anticipate further price declines and don’t perceive solid investment opportunities, they will not spend or invest. However, if money was subject to the same “penalty to hoarding” that applies to real goods, it would not systematically withdraw during times of instability. And to repeat, it is precisely because money is designed to be a store of value that this problem occurs.

Gesell proposes reconstituting money in such a way that it intentionally loses value over time according to a predetermined schedule of depreciation. This would create a disincentive to hoarding, promote freer and more reliable circulation of money, and reduce the likelihood of a liquidity trap. Even in times of economic uncertainty, holders of money would be faced with an incentive to “use it or lose it”. Furthermore, such a monetary medium would likely achieve a much higher “velocity”, which would lead to a more vibrant and robust economy and a more equitable distribution of wealth.

Of course, I realize that what Gesell suggests is nothing short of revolutionary. Such a change would alter every aspect of our economic and political landscape. As such, the points in history at which it would be politically feasible to attempt such a change are extremely rare. Only a painful crisis is capable of awakening the public to the importance of our monetary arrangements, and if we attempt to deal with the current crisis while leaving the most important part of the puzzle untouched, we will be missing out on a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to make a change that could solve our existing problems and prevent their recurrence.

Of course, I understand that your main concern these days is ensuring the survival of Citigroup, and an issue like monetary reform may be beyond your purview. I also realize that as the CEO of a bank, such a fundamental change in the nature of money would be threatening to your business model. On the other hand, I believe that banks which embrace a new-and-improved monetary medium would prosper at the expense of those who resist the change. For someone in your position, I would think the prospect of being able to put your company on the cutting edge of a new era in finance while simultaneously contributing to the well-being of mankind would represent an exciting and compelling opportunity.

In any case, Vikram, I wish you wisdom and luck in this monumentally challenging time. I don’t know if these thoughts might be of any use to you, but I figured that, at the very least, they would represent a different perspective. In the unlikely event that you find yourself with a few minutes to spare, I would love to hear you thoughts on all of this.

Warm regards,

Josh Sidman