Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

McDonald’s has a double Filet O’ Fish on the menu, but the picture shows only one slice of oil based synthetic cheese among the two crispy patties.  When I order it, I’ll make sure it has two slices of oily cheese and I’ll fucking pay for that extra greasy slice. Gimme a side of that tartar goop for my hair.  My latest thing is a large, unsweetened iced tea and a hash brown from the drive thru for my bleary morning ramble to the salt mine.

I hear the Shamrock Shake is in season.  I’ll let you know.

Rush Limbaugh doesn’t respect his audience.  He doesn’t care about anything he says.  George Will infamously pointed out that all the Republican sycophants, especially the candidates, fear him. Nancy boys.  Indeed, the titular head of the Republican party does not give a shit about the Republican agenda or what gets elected.   No matter the outcome,  he will spew toxins in water wherever he swims.  He doesn’t give a mad fuck.  See, in light of the current Republican candidates, he flaunts more power and control than any of the jackasses actually running for power and control.  I am giddy with anticipation.  Now he  goes to commercial and it’s dead air.  All national advertising has been “suspended” from his show.  He should  seek council from Glenn Beck.

What we are witnessing here is historic.  The face of the Republican party folding in half.  Melting on itself like a bag of caramels in the sun.  As breathtaking as a freshly shorn scrotum.

So gorgeous that these fatuous jackwagons Santorum and Limbuagh have picked a fight with over half the population and waltzed, with misogynistic hubris and arrogance, into a buzz saw of vagina.  How can anyone in the 21st century oppose contraception for women?  Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.  How dumb can you be?

These are interesting times.  HBO drops this movie “Game Change”, that is simultaneously withering and credible at the same time the latest version of the GOP primary is ten times sillier.  This is what it is; the sober men in the room understand that this lunch will be handed to them.  They know they will not prevail in this election on a presidential level.  They are just looking to save face and  Guy Smiley is the best looking guy in the room.  They understand that he’s electorally inept and all they’re hoping for is an exit as graceful he can afford them so they can purpose all their filthy lucre, lust, greed and vainglory on Congress.

Lycanthropes.

Beware the Frumious Bandersnatch.

So last night, Santorum wins the two dumbest states of the union in a long tradition of mentally compromised Republicans voting inverse to their own best interests.  Alabama and Mississippi. Jewels in the crown of ignorance and the absence of dental care.  Frothy lost his last bid for the Senate by 18 points in Pennsylvania.  He got crushed in his home state and now he’s The Cracker Conservative.  Sheezus.  That talent pool has no moisture left to puke.

Ladies and gentlemen, the contemporary Republican party.  But first, please enjoy the stylings of Donny and Marie.  One must wonder if even the Osmonds will vote for Mittens.  The only thing saving Mitt from himself and Santorum is a salamander named Newt.  He splits the crazy.

Is this so bad it’s good?  It just might be.

What we have here is inevitable.  Social Darwinism.  Knuckle draggers being sucked into the ooze along with their pomaded misanthropes.  I don’t know enough about media and advertising to know for sure, but this definitely looks infected to me.  Pardon me while I contain my enthusiasm.  Are you gonna eat that?

I’ve been saying for two years that the GOP has nobody.  It is gratifying to see it enacted live on my television nightly.

Still, watch your ass.  That guy in the pool with a knife clenched in his teeth is your friendly neighborhood Republican.

Drinks for my friends.

 

 

 

I was dwindling away the other day by noticing how much more grime my fingernails collect when I forget to cut them.  I’m eating as many bleu cheese dressing soaked salads as my gulliver can process.  Everybody vote for Rick Santorum.  Salads make me crap like a goose.  Sizzler’s salad bar in Culver City has a nice array of plants (fruits and vegetables), cheeses, dressings, soups, nacho pilings and deserts.  I love it there.  They have nice bathrooms.  I swipe the kiosk with my debit card, turn around and an attractive young woman or a smiling middle aged man hands me my tray including a receipt which qualifies me for the bread of my choice as well as extra plates and napkins.

These days I bring Greg Palast to read.  Total gumshoe retro contemporary, night stalker cheap suit.  He tells the truth and that makes him Gonzo.  I’ve been reading this guy for awhile.  Truthout.org

I try to read at lunch.  It’s my Zen.  What I do is scoop as much of the banana pudding off the top of the banana pile of vanilla wafer  bonanza at the desert bar, and garnish it with the syrupy berries meant for the flavorless soft serve.  I use the handle of the soup bowl to stop my new hardback from closing in the middle.

So anyway, what the fuck is up with this Republican primary?  What we have here is a room full of very pale primates.  It really is embarrassing.  They tear each other apart while angling for the lowest common denominator along with the richest bastards in the room.  They are confused.  So am I.  It’s the new normal.

Frothy Santorum says Obama is a “snob” for promoting academic achievement beyond high school.  What a dick.  Never mind it’s not even what the President said.  Then he picks a fight with a 48 year dead president, the most popular ever, a fellow Catholic, over the separation of church and state by saying the assassinated president’s speech on the importance of religion being personal made him want to puke. He’s made the man on dog argument about gay marriage and said that contraception foments immoral behavior.  Birth control equals irresponsible fucking in this man’s mind.  What an asshole.  The male equivalent of Michele Bachmann. Dangerous and crazy because he believes what he says.  Santorum milks his time beneath the proscenium as long as his voice echos.  He’ll write a book and get appointed to something.

Rick Santorum is a misogynistic, homophobic bigot.

Guy Smiley makes me cringe.  He’s it and Republicans know he’s going to lose, but he’s it.  He is the best they have and he is the most insincere, disingenuous, used car salesman to ever fly north of vice presidential.  He tells a story in the first person about some golden auto industry celebration he remembers from when he was about 4 or 5 that actually happened before he was born.  He has another story about his father marching in Selma with MLK that didn’t happen.  He sings too often.  Mitt Romney is the most shallow and out of touch candidate since George W Bush.

He’s an idiot.  Worst politician I’ve ever seen and the best Republicans have to offer.

Don’t worry; neither one has a snowball’s chance in hell.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Obama would appear to have a better grip on everything except gas prices and the coming inflation.

I am cynical and paranoid but doesn’t this look infected to you?  It’s all a little too perfect isn’t it?

When Romney wins the nomination and loses his bid for the presidency, the hapless Republicans might probably jerk further to the right, dooming them in the eyes of the mainstream indefinitely. They are that dumb.  Their math will value Romney as too moderate for losing and therefore reason to revisit marching practice. Were Santorum to prevail, the GOP might actually benefit and move towards a more moderate stance.  Rick Santorum is our best chance for reasonable political discourse in this country and he’s a lunatic.

I understand that Santorum is mental.  Any family in this country with eight kids is automatically dysfunctional if they aren’t on a farm somewhere.  This guy is the real deal.  He means what he says.  That’s how I know he’s goddamn nuts.   Rush Limbaugh says what he thinks he has to.  He never even considers whether it’s true or not.  He doesn’t care.  Rick Santorum absolutely believes every batshit crazy thing that comes out of his weird foaming little rictus.

Yet he is our best hope.

We really need to help them go too far and nominate this douchenozzle Santorum so that they might understand just how too far they have gone.  Frothy will get crushed by a man that knows what he’s doing and the rounheaded might consider tacking towards the center if only too save the party brand. This clown show is titillating and hilarious but might still serve a purpose.

Obama will be President of the United States again.  It is what it is and it’s a done deal.  So Santorum is our best bet.  There’s absolutely no way he can win the nomination and if he does, liberals will all go on holiday.  And then maybe, just maybe, the idiots will understand shame.  The sky will open and they will begin to accept the theory of evolution and then discover that they are almost obsolete because of social Darwinism.

Then President Obama will stop pulling punches because the Republicans are now pussies and he doesn’t have to worry about getting re-elected.  He’ll show up in a cape and some ridiculous sandals and get shit done.

Rick Santorum for President of The United States of America.

Drinks for my friends.

Ever notice how good pot smells and tastes a little salty?

Kinda like licorice.

Peppery even.

So my difficulty is existential. As in why. What are we doing here?

I fed the cats.

Salt and pepper.

Sometimes I understand while I’m driving through nice neighborhoods.  Sometimes I have a nice lunch and read a book by myself.

99% is too high.  I’m comfortable with say, 89% +.  Anything over that is golden.

I think I smell my own feet.

I was borne 47 years ago last week.  I’ve been sending myself mixed messages ever since.  We all do.  I seem to have lost my romance with romance.  Everything has lost its sheen.  Drugs and porn are boring.  I still like food a lot.  I get sick now and then because the children are carriers.  I actually vomited and crapped uncontrollably and had the chills and sweats a few weeks ago.  I still like good wine.  This week I have a cold.  It’s moving towards my ears.  They are carriers.  I have fun helping with homework.  Their entire existence explodes wherever they go but they are very charming.  I read the fridge.  Tiny tempests that take over my life and living room between two and five days a week.  Surreality.

They are insane.  They have interesting problems.  I’ve been around.  I’ve seen crazy.  I realize they’re children.  What they know and what they don’t know is confounding.  Almost completely irrational.  What nobody understands is that it’s group therapy for me.  I try to talk to them.

47 just the other day.

I hear Santorum gushed the other day, last week.  Whatever.  The only reason for a GOP campaign season at all this year that I can see, is to expose the humor along with epicenters of idiocy.  Who won in South Carolina?  It was some form of mendacious reptilocryte. A heavily favored used car salesman with the last name of ‘Smiley’ in magic underwear claimed Florida.  Santorum, frothing, won caucuses in Colorado and Minnesota and a primary in Missouri.  Add to that a new survey by the Pew Research Center for the People & the Press  showing Mittens and Frothy in a statistical neck and neck: “Rick Santorum’s support among Tea Party Republicans and white evangelicals is surging,”.  Very exciting.  And just now, Mittens prevailing with little starch in Maine, barely winning a pissing contest with crazy old uncle Paul.  Conservatives are shitting their pants.

Everybody relax.  Guy Smiley will be the nominee and have his Mormon ass handed to him by the Socialist Kenyan.  Hope and change.  Newsflash, it’s not all about the presidency.

Liberals know what states not to have breakfast in.  We like to stick to the coasts.  There’s lunatics everywhere but most of them are down and to the right.  Ideologically and geographically.  Down and to the right.  I believe Nixon and Lee Atwater called it the “Southern Strategy”.  Now we call it a “Culture War”.  Down and to the right.

The right wing retards will howl at the moon, militias will muster, bluster and plot.  Pro Life roundheads and neo Christian hypocrites will lick and suck at the rubbernecking media serving a lowest common denominator demographic and a few of us will stare in horror and disbelief.  The gorgeous irony is a Grand Old Party that has forgotten everything but how to march.  They still march fiercely, no longer all in the same direction, however.  The coming conflagration will singe everything.  America probably needs more than two parties.  But the failure of our two party system is evidenced by the slapstick implosion of the Republican field.  Sarah Palin still able to light ’em up at CPAC.  That woman is a fucking idiot.  Democrats with hands over dicks, trying to remember to go to church more often and avoid pissing off any more bankers.

It’s not like the only thing the entire maniacal circus of factions has in common is some weird Icarus complex with all the reckless hubris.

Moths.

It’s all so copiously and conveniently Wrestlemania and Jerry Springer for your entertainment.  We are a bunch of douchebags.  The election will be televised, any revolution will be excised, and until then we will be obsessed with all that does not matter. No one will lack for an enemy.

I get why they keep going on.  They know it’s been decided.  The deal is in place.  So it shall be written.  So it shall be done.  Meet the old boss, same as the new boss.

The only thing that shocks me is how obvious it all is.  Follow the money.  You won’t need a calculator.

Drinks for my friends.

 

 

 

What’s the word for people like me who prefer animals over humans?

All children over the age of three are in the grip of lust, greed and power.

Misanthrope.  Makes me think of Richard Nixon’s face.

Although kitties are benevolent, their love is not unconditional.  You still have to feed and water them.  You still have to be nice to them.  I would carry my kitties in my pockets.  I would live in my car with them.

People are people wherever you go.

I’ve had my heartstrings viciously strummed by a sorceress with a plectrum to the tune of ten thousand dollars.  I would downshift and stomp the accelerator were that woman to enter a crosswalk against the light in front of me.  The light was green and I was speeding up to avoid a cyclist.  It’s not just the money.  She was an awful cunt from every angle.  She lied about everything.  A true sociopath.  Her name is.

The only thing a kitty has ever done to me is tip a glass of water onto my keyboard.  Or maybe get hissy at me for snatching my coat ever so cautiously from beneath its lounging when I needed it for a smoke on the balcony.

Human beings are awful and I sure am one of them.  The truth is I’m a salesman.  I get paid to get over on other humans all day long.  It’s what I do.  For a living.  I talk to them.  I reason with them.  Above all, I appeal to their emotions.  They give me their credit card information, their addresses.  They do this because they believe their lives and their businesses will improve.

They do it because they believe me.

I sit back and hope it works for them.

I work hard at it and suffer more than anything the coward who lacks the resolve to tell me no. I hate that.  They are the weakest of all.  Just say no.  If I were you, I would have told me to piss up a rope six days ago.  If it were me, and someone was squeezing me this hard, I’d punch him in the junk and kick him in the head before I left the scene.  Fucking pussies.

I’d much rather do something else.  I used to make records.  Making records was a way better job.  I didn’t loathe people nearly as much.

If I knew then what I know now about getting over on people, I’d still be making records.  It’s true.  Because I didn’t suck at it.  I didn’t suck at it all, but selling myself, I sucked at that.  Now I’m good at selling something, anything, I don’t care nearly as much about.

I am loathe.

I started off working for my best friend’s hand blown glass marijuana pipe company.  He launched it in a garage.  A month or two later we were in a dimly lit warehouse without heat or air conditioning, somewhere not far from North Hollywood.  I did everything from pack & ship to negotiate with copier salesmen and pipe manufacturers.  There were only a handful of production minded glass blowers back then.  They were the same as the musicians I’d already been dealing with everyday forever.  My job became to manage them.  So I did.

We grew.  We began to manufacture.  I dabbled in raw materials.  I dealt with OSHA and waded into printing.  I liaisoned with Fed Ex and UPS.  I managed an ever growing network of glass blowers and vendors.  I was the buyer and I spent hundreds of thousands a month.  I’d never been in business before but I could feel it beginning to pop.  One day my best friend said he couldn’t justify paying me any more than I already made unless I hustled some product.

I never wanted to be a salesman.

So I got on the phone and started making friends.  I made friends at trade shows.

I sold millions of dollars worth of glass pipes, bongs and even glass dildos.  Boys night out was sometimes a limo to the Van Nuys airport and a private jet to Vegas with a suite at the Bellagio and reservations at Nobu.  We subcontracted these padded velvet pipe bags for the more expensive paraphernalia.  The whole evening was cash.  I had a girl in Vegas I would Fed Ex cash to and she’d pay for the room and make sure the limo had the tail number of the plane.  Otherwise the padded bag was the football.  The football contained giant wads of high denomination currency.  Everyone involved kept there eyes on the ball.  It was our fuck you money.

We would meet in the wind at this little airport around one am to get back to LA by a time that allowed plausible deniability for when the bars closed in LA.

To be continued.

Since then I’ve sold advertising (print and online),  appointments for window treatment specialists to visit you in your home, convention space, extended auto warranties, amazingly expensive memberships to a wholesale buying club, merchant services and custom rolling papers.  Not necessarily in that order.

I’m good in person but better on the phone because  I don’t like people.

Drinks for my friends.

Hooptie Jesus.

I AM a lineman for the county.

January is not a salesman’s best month.  I’m angsty.  My road rage dogma is about to overtake the Karma it doesn’t understand why it wants to run down. I get angry when the sales dice catch frost.  I was killing it up until Christmas.  Right up until Savory Santa Day.  Angsty.

So anyway.  Every driver of every other car is a clown disguised as an ordinary idiot looking to make a left turn from the far right lane on a one way street clogged with pachyderm buses. Nobody at the downtown Ralph’s can operate the goddamn automated parking system and everyone in line wants to put something back they can’t afford or commit the egregious societal sin of initiating a price check.  Non-ruminant ungulates.

They tell me time flies when you’re having fun.

My problem is that I’m sick of being yanked into believing there’s a difference between the sizzle and the steak.  Too few chomp on both.  Obama breaks his populist bottle on the 2012 masthead and the banks will grease him in.  Meet the new boss; same as the old boss.  To his right is Mittens Romney.  Guy Smiley.  An elitist (he even speaks French), 1% asshole in magical underwear that Christian evangelicals despise and  conservatives as well as neo-conservatives distrust with gorgeous malice.  He’s only gotten this far because he looks presidential.

They have their man and are content to let the fools wear silly hats and run circles to distract us.

Ever seen that Star Trek episode written by Harlan Ellison?  “City On The Edge of Forever”?  I’m not sure it has anything to do with what I’m talking about here but maybe this does:  http://www.thedailybeast.com/videos/2012/01/15/the-case-against-liberal-despair.html

Hooptie Jesus!  I’ve just been informed by Politico that the Salamander has prevailed in the South Carolina primary.  Rockin’ good news Peanut.  It goes without saying that he won because he’s a doughy, white, unapologetic racist and the proud people inhabiting this definitive notch in the Bible Belt have made themselves heard.  Here in America we call that brand of democracy appealing to the lowest common denominator.

Republicans are so willing to forget that Gingrich was thrown out of Congress for being a mendacious hypocrite and that Reagan was a closet liberal before he devolved into a clueless, stumblefuck meat puppet.

The chances of a consensus being reached before the big stupid GOP hootenanny have just decreased by enough to have me smirking gratified. If it does end up going the distance, Mittens and the Salamander will have shredded each other so vociferously that Obama’s grin will be garnished with carrion.  Never mind that you get what you pay for and he has been. Obama. Paid for.

Maybe, just maybe, these jackasses will implode so spectacularly, wreck themselves so thoroughly, that elected Democrats will have no choice but to abandon the facile partisan bullshit they’ve been all too content to occupy themselves with and actually take a swing at representing the people that elected them as opposed to the plutocrats that bought them.

I have a dream today.

Drinks for my friends.

I have mad kitties.
They puke everywhere.

Life is increasingly absent normal.

I have children here.

I try very hard to just be shy.  I realize I can be a ginormous presence.  Being among children makes you feel loud and large.

Being around children teaches you how to be humble.  An example of how to be shy.

My kitties are mad.  Everyone in this place is crazy and even my kitties are female.  I’m  the lone testosterone ranger among five estrogen fueled womenfolk.  Whenever I’m this outnumbered, I call my mother.  She tells me my Father’s toenail surgery wasn’t the success we’d all hoped for.  I’m not at all happy to hear it because I’ve inherited the same malaise.  I know this clinic that will treat an ingrown toe for a hundred and fifty bucks.  I just need to know what they do for a sum that paltry.

I’ve come to accept that our vote doesn’t count.  That Obama’s suit is nearly as empty as that of Dumbya.  Presidents don’t drive.  They never have.  The reason the Republican reality show is so vividly absurd is because the Powers That Be already have their man.  Do the math.  Look at the money and where it came from.  Where it comes from.  Where it goes.  Trust me all that fear, if Obama loses, he won’t be walking away but he won’t be running.  I’ll be shocked if he whifs it.

Presidents are mascots.  The Senate are pious ascots and The House are jackoffs.

It’s not real.

Manufactured for your disdain and delight.  We bring you Liberal vs. Conservative.  Asshole vs. Dickhead.  Moron vs. Wimp.

You are all staring at something shiny.  Wolf Blitzer is as full of shit as Brit Hume.  Goddamn those are dumb names.

It’s true, comedians are your best bet.

Honestly, I wouldn’t blame you for going on about your business.

The dumb ones never sit it out.  We can always count on the functionally stupid.  Has there actually been 17 Republican debates?  For what?  It’s retarded.  The candidates are retarded.  I realize how politically incorrect that word is but I can’t be bothered.  It’s fucking retarded and so are way too many of us.  Something shiny.  All creepy dolls who’s eyes open when you hold them upright.  Mitt Romney as the lusty but vacuous power forward with the skinny calves, weak knees and ridiculous magic underwear.  Newt the vainglorious, cherubic blowhard short stop and Santorum, the disturbingly homophobic, sanctimonious gym coach of the ignorant and incestuous.  Michele Bachmann was a nun with a spear through her head constantly having difficulty getting through revolving doors and I weep at the loss of The Donald and anything Palin.

We never had it so good.

It’s not real.

Drinks for my friends

My refrigerator has genuine schoolgirl on it. Vivid crayon art with shiny decals alongside dry homework with what appears to be an outstanding grade; fastened to the faux stainless refligerator/fleezer door with magnetic cat sphincters. Inside are more half empty cups, dishes, containers, bags, trays, bowls, jars and sometimes sacks than I can suffer frequently.

The ones with booze in them are mine.  The ones in the side door that are slightly blue from a dash of Powerade.

Clear bags with meat in them and plastic envelopes full of delicious sharp cheddar cheese.  Jars of pungent, somewhat exotic mustards and other condiments like capers and kalamata olives.  Fish, BBQ and  teriyaki sauces.

I’ve glimpsed chunks of stuff in various stages of decay.  I hear carnival music when I open the door.

Sometimes there’s ice cream in the freezer.  Sometimes not.

There’s a giant pasta bowl in the elbow of the kitchen with a few kinds of fruit, cloves of garlic, some onions, shallots and I think I saw limes this morning.  Maybe they were avocados. There’s microwave popcorn in the cupboard along with more often than not turkey chili and ravioli in a can.

Chrome blender.  Chrome toaster.  Sleek black coffee maker and a stocky fire engine red bean grinder.

I find myself naked, eating rubbery high fructose corn lozenges out of a slender foil packet in the middle of dark mornings.  I have to pee.

I try to make sure there’s good canned tomatoes, decent pasta, aged parmesan, olive oil …………..

The kitchen and its contents aspirate so vigorously, I imagine it as a stop motion montage.  All of us speeding around supernaturally, cooking and eating.  Exaggerated moments of consumption.

I think about a certain food, one I’m sure I just saw, and it’s been gone for at least a day or two.

I always find something but I never know what it’s gonna be.

Drinks for my friends

Don’t nobody move

This is a heist

“In the N. District of Calif. marijuana cultivators are converting our public lands and pristine forests into large-scale clandestine marijuana grow operations. They are cutting down trees and plants, they are diverting streams, polluting the water table, and the land with toxic pesticides. They are starting wildfires, bringing in undocumented workers from Mexico, some of whom may be the victims of human trafficking. Many of these workers who guard the grow operations do so with firearms, thereby endangering hikers who might unwittingly stumble in.” -Northern California US Attorney Melinda Haag

So is just about every other business or industry left in America or the various countries we occupy.  The government’s job is to make it worse.  As opposed to fixing it or helping to make it better.  It’s what they do.  They make things worse.  It’s why we have a post technocratic Tea Party and a pre operatic OWS.  By the way, did you catch her last name?

Try not to take it personally.

It is absurd this sudden bureaucratic thrust.

Last Friday, the four U.S. Attorneys from California–along with their respective counterparts here in Washington D.C. from the DEA and IRS–declared that a statewide crackdown against large-scale medical cannabis cultivators and sellers with national implications is currently underway. -NORML

The ATF waded in and announced that if you don’t sell a gun to a pot smoker, you might be violating that whole constitutional amendment thing, but you are red white and blue and they won’t fine you or harass you or try to find a way to put you in jail.  Not this week anyway.

Some bill oozed from some committee last week that would make it possible for the government of the people to prosecute and incarcerate US citizens for thinking about pot in different country.  Really.  This is what our elected officials are up to.

They covertly and overtly kick the ass of anyone in banking  for extending a hand by providing legitimate services to medical cannabis businesses that want nothing more than a compliant presence.

Don’t take it personally.

ask not what your country can do for you — ask what you can do for your country -JFK

government is not the solution to our problem; government is the problem. -Ronald Raygun

The truth is somewhere south of the twain.

I sometimes wonder are they so busy kicking the feet out from everyone else they don’t realize they waltz away on stumps.

I don’t pretend to know what they’re up to but I’m sure the impetus is somewhere between jackassery and genuinely ill conceived demagoguery.

Or money.

Jackass demagoguery and money.

We know from whence the ass.  From self righteousness emerged the ass.  Where for art the money?  Maybe it starts with the prison system.  Lot of money there.  Powerful union.  America is but 5% of the world’s population but we imprison 25% of the criminals.  We incarcerate more per capita than any country, state or sovereign prison island in the solar system.  We are a free country.  It’s a good place to start.  I’m glad I’m not in that business anymore.  Then there’s big pharma and the enormous threat posed by hemp cultivation to big oil so everything from textiles to energy……..

Don’t take it personal.

It is what it is.

Drinks for my friends.

Jazzy.

A regal calico feline. 17 years. Old for a cat. An outdoor cat in Los Angeles.  Tough and clever. Possessed of the slow moving wisdom.  Her coat no longer supple.  Her gait no longer graceful.  Wits still sharp as new scissors.

She moves with purpose.

Deep set, aged eyes.

She is very old.

She’s already survived one human mother who passed prematurely from cancer.  She remembers.  For time longer than her ability to total, she’s enjoyed the care and love of another mother.  Daughter of that mother.

D.

She knows she’s in trouble and asks for help.  She comes to the door.  She wants in.

A swollen, painful tumor in her mouth.  Her beautiful face is distorted.  Smeared.  Lopsided.  Blood runs down the pure white fur of her chin and throat when she moves.  She continues to eat, drink and groom, because she is brave and because that’s what she does.

I guess and hope it’s a bad tooth.  An abscess.  The first doctor, an ER doctor, doesn’t think so.

Jazzy understands it’s not.

Still, she spends time convalescing on antibiotics and pain killers in the comfort of D’s bed.  Days go by.  The antibiotics have no effect.

She remains herself and goes on about her business.  There is food and water.  A box of sand.  All indoors.  Not far from the bed.

She purrs.

On the way to the hospital the second time, D says to me, “I have no pictures of her” and it reminds me that I have no pictures of my own two girls.  I love my  girls and I know how much I need to do this for myself.  I need pictures.  I start to cry.  Jazzy is behind us in the back of my car, in a cage.  A cat carrier.  I hate them.

She’s not quite content.  She does ask us about what’s going on so we answer as best we can.  She knows this too will pass.

The second doctor tells us a biopsy will be painful and the x-rays will be uncomfortable.  She will need to be anesthetized.  It’s most likely a particularly virulent cancer.  Fast moving and lethal within a matter of weeks, maybe a month.  She tells us if it’s in her mouth, it’s probably metastasized in her lungs.  She says she wouldn’t blame us for taking her home for a few days or weeks.  She says she would understand if we decided to do this.  She wouldn’t blame us.  Jazzy will deteriorate very quickly when it comes.  She is a kind doctor.

What we need to know.  She’s telling us it’s a done deal.

Jazzy’s mother knows what she needs to know.  Jazzy’s mother tells me what she intends to do.  She tells me this as she holds Jazzy in her lap, comforting her with gentle hands.  I contract.  My throat is full.  I start to cry again.  I find the doctor and ask her the questions I need to ask.  To be sure, even though it’s not my decision.  She answers my questions but I don’t hear or remember because I’m so sad and her eyes tell me what I need to know.

The doctor describes the procedure to us.  She will take Jazzy to insert a catheter in one of her legs.  We will then be allowed to spend the time we need with her in a more comfortable room until we are ready and then she’ll administer a shot that will render Jazzy unconscious before a second shot, an overdose, that will end her life.  She tells us we can take all the time we need.  I can’t help but think how absurd it is.  How compassionate it isn’t.  How much time?

She is a good doctor.  She is kind.  She understands and she does her best to comfort us.  She talks to us very seriously but her eyes.

I spend a few minutes without noticing the room and then leave D alone with Jazzy.  I’m a mess.  D is brave.  I go outside for a smoke.  The Doctor finds me outside to tell me D is ready.  The room is small and the lighting is cheesy somber soft.  I don’t know what to do.  D holds Jazzy in a small white blanket.  I kiss Jazzy between her ears.  I love that spot on a cat.  I like the sides of their heads too, just behind their eyes.  D strokes her softly and I swear Jazzy knows.  She trusts.

It’s here that I hitch.  There, that I start to get it.  Here, the elegance of this proud and flawlessly humble animal.  She asks us please not to suffer.  She puts us in charge of that.  Forgive us for we know what we do.

The doctor pets her head softly after the first injection.  Jazzy sleeps.  Without saying anything, the doctor prepares and inserts the second needle into the catheter.

I feel my face twisting and my chest ache.  My tears are hot.

I will always remember this cat lounging in a planter furious with bees.  She didn’t care.  Drooling whenever I pet her.  She didn’t talk much.  She didn’t feel the need to tell me she owned the place.

Animals don’t even think about death until they are dying.  It’s why they are far more gorgeous than humans.

A half minute and Jazzy goes gentle into this goodnight.

Then, the deepest sob I ever remember hearing.

A few minutes pass and the Doctor comes and collects Jazzy’s body quietly.  She looks at us and I want to smile.  She holds her gently, careful to keep the blanket wrapped around her.

I keep thinking how tragic it was.  But it wasn’t.

Early one Saturday morning my own cat, lying in the middle of the tile floor, a small puddle of urine behind her.  Early one Saturday morning.  So sudden.  No reason.  She was only six and I was crushed.  Months went by.  She was a star.

This wasn’t tragic. It was beautiful.

No perfidy here.

It’s the innocence, the immaculate benevolence of kitties, that breaks my heart.  They don’t even think about death until it’s on them.  Are they pretending to be that cautious all the time?  It’s a good thing they don’t have money.  I love kitties.  I adore them.

Rest in peace Jazzy you old rip.

Drinks for my friends.

“For my birthday I got a humidifier and a dehumidifier. I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.”

“I invented the cordless extension cord”

-Steven Wright

We do ourselves a disservice by assuming Obama is anything other than a centrist Republican.  He’s a DINO, Democrat in name only.  It’s not all bad, he is occasionally willing to wrestle in the mud with ugly, wart festooned Republicans, neocons and tea party retards.  A crusading liberal he’s not; we can no longer afford that perception.  It’s been an expensive nicety.

Obama is at best a moderate Republican from your father’s Republican party.  He campaigned to the left and has rushed to the right ever since.  It’s as kind as I can be.  I understand he’s accomplished some monumental things but I’m nonplussed about his real agenda and I’m both wary and weary of guessing at his sincere intentions.  I’m starting to wonder whether he’s a dick of plutocratic magnitude.  He surrendered the public option before the shouting began, he ignores war criminals and the crimes they committed and is embarrassingly recalcitrant when it comes to the giant bank motherfuckers that control everything that happens.  He’s no FDR and he makes LBJ look like a bird of prey.

If you’re a liberal, Obama kinda sucks actually.

This has never been about merely eating our peas or peeling off a band aid.

I gotta tell you this may be as much about the environment as his personal convictions.  Nature versus nurture.

The center has shifted towards hard right buffoonery.  The right has jerked violently in the direction of avarice.  Religious zealotry.  Madness.  Austerity for the working masses.  Contrary to public opinion or popular sentiment.  It’s amazing.  They just don’t give a single shit about anything unless it has to do with raping the ordinary and enslaving them to the wealthy and corporations.  I hate it.  I’m absolutely astounded that they’ve been able to convince so many Americans to go along with it.  I can’t believe there are so many dumbasses.

So to be fair, Obama inherited a shitstorm and has no choice but to navigate pestiferous waters.

Because Americans are dumb as shit.

How is that?

How is it that a reasonable majority keeps chasing such mendacious fatuity?

I don’t know about you but that bitch is ugly and stupid and she stinks and I can’t figure out why we keep pursuing her.  No amount of makeup or perfume can possibly assuage it.  You can put lipstick on a pig but that’s all it is.

Oh, sorry, I’m not talking about Michele Bachmann specifically;  I’m speaking metaphorically.  I hear pigs are pretty damn smart, so forgive me.  And I adore women in general, so allow this trespass with the understanding that it is anything but prurient.

Even Boehner and MCconnel have given voice to reason only to be subverted by a callow, amateur, jackackass like Eric Cantor.  I know he’s a jackass because he makes no sense and he can’t belie a personal agenda that’s more about Eric Cantor than the American people. I fucking hate that guy.  I’d like to see him piss up a rope or actually explain his position on anything.

Bring him to me.  I will kick his ass.  I will make him cry.

It’s unclear whether they know what they do.  They appear to be so goddamn dumb that they are willing to jeopardize the entire world economy because they are selfish, ideological, thumb sucking brats.  They walk out of meetings with the President of The United States and say shit like ‘He started it’ on national television.

The road to common sense and equitable solutions used to be through the middle.  I no longer believe that.  Clearly, Obama no longer sees that road as a pragmatic option.

Lawrence O’Donnell is indefatigable in his insistence that Obama is playing master poker/chess with our future.  I don’t buy it.  I’ll be ecstatic if he’s right but I’ve witnessed far too much capitulation to buy that bridge to nowhere over a swamp of prime real estate.  We’re gonna get fucked.  It’s gonna happen.  I’m so tired of one step forward, two steps back.  You’ll need to read my last couple of blogs to understand where I’m coming from here.

We keep fighting conflagrations with lime jello.  I think that Boehner actually said the same the other day but that’s not what he meant.  Irony.

They don’t fight fair and I don’t understand why we don’t fight harder knowing full well we can still do it honestly.  I must be stupid because I just don’t get it.  Forgive my naivete for not understanding why we refrain from kicking jackasses like Cantor in the teeth with logic and common sense, in public and in front of the American people.  Why don’t we make this insipid little intellectual midget cry in front of his friends?

Why?

Why, do we instead, take him and so many like him seriously in any public venue?

Why?

I’ll do it.  Let me at him.  I would destroy him.  I’m calling out Eric Cantor.  Paul Ryan too.  Remember that high school student who challenged Bachmann to a debate on the constitution?  I’m not holding my breath.

Am I wrong in hoping, daring to ask, that we do to them what they shamelessly do to us so absent of sense, decorum and discretion?

Beware gin without ice.  It tastes hot.  Burns my tongue.  Weird.  I drink whiskey straight though.

They are such dicks.

I hate it when I run out of ice.

My girlfriend forgot to fill the ice trays again.

I really hope that asshole Rick Perry runs.  He’s the queen of the harpies.  He doesn’t cook.  He doesn’t clean.  He prays.  Another empty suit from Texas.  I should be careful what I wish for.

Anyhoo………

Raising the debt ceiling is about paying what we already owe.  It’s a manufactured crisis.

This should really be a walk in the park.  I can’t understand why it’s so hard.  It’s goddamn Fisher Price.  These people are idiots.  It’s clearly in someones best interest.  It sure as hell isn’t in that of the middle class.  They wage war with absolute lies.  Why can’t we do the same with the truth?  Social security has fuck all to do with the debt or the deficit and the only problem it will ever have can be solved easily by making the rich pay into it.  As is, it’s solvent for at least another quarter century.  Medicare and medicaid could benefit from various things like means testing (not all that efficacious), but both are still one hell of a lot more efficient than what the private sector offers.

Our woes are not the result of “entitlement” programs.  Our woes have nothing to do with the debt ceiling or deficits.  Dick Cheney said deficits don’t matter and Reagan raised taxes seven times and the debt ceiling eighteen times and these idiots sing his praises louder than a gay men’s choir being castrated.  Our woes are because of our wars.  Stupid, pointless wars that protect the interests of the wealthy and provide opportunity for them to vacuum even more filthy lucre.  Our woes are because the rich do not pay their fair share in taxes.  Tax breaks for the wealthy do not, and have never created one single fucking job.  My head nearly explodes whenever I hear some Republican asshole pontificate on what a big mistake it is to raise taxes on the wealthy in this precarious economic climate.  400 hundred of the wealthiest Americans possess more of the money than half, 150 million us.  Tax rates are lower on them than they have ever been.  The only mistake is the money they will give that particular douchebag to get re-elected, so that piece of shit can continue to advocate for that fat fuck to write off that fucking caviar on his eggs in the morning by the pool while the damn jet warms up.

It’s not about the deficit.  It’s not about the debt.  It’s not about “entitlements” – I hate that word,  because we, the middle class actually pay for them and deserve to benefit from them.  It’s about the American people and our opportunity to work hard for at least a living wage.  It’s about jobs.

IT’S ABOUT JOBS.  IT’S ABOUT THE RICH USING ONE ELABORATE CHARADE AFTER ANOTHER TO FOMENT FEAR OF THINGS WE HAVE NO REASON TO FEAR SO THEY CAN STEAL THE REST OF WHAT WE HAVE WHILE LOOK OVER OUR SHOULDERS AND SWEAT WHETHER TO CUP OUR GENITALS OR COVER OUR ASSES.  CLASS WARFARE BY ANY OTHER NAME.

Again, the road to common sense and equitable solutions used to be through the middle.  Not anymore.

The difference between us and them is the more powerful amplifier for their message.  Well you know, that and morals and ethics and all that.  Forgive me for pointing out we’ve begun to suck at that too.

Don’t go telling me we need to sell our souls too.  God help us says the unapologetic agnostic.

THESE are the times that try men’s souls. The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of their country; but he that stands by it now, deserves the love and thanks of man and woman.

-Thomas Paine

We need to grow a pair.

Drinks for my friends.

In the news:  Casey Anthony wasn’t convicted of murdering her daughter.  Why do we give a damn?  She probably did it but all evidence was circumstantial.   There was no cause of death and no motive so get over it.  I hear some English royalty arrived here in Southern California the other day.  Again, who cares?  I don’t.  I can’t find a reason to.  Apparently our women won some soccer contest.  Good for you if it matters.  Rupert Murdoch appears to be in real trouble over some obtuse fuckery hitherto unseen.  This thing with Murdoch will be fascinating.  Vulgar and salacious.  Obscene and untoward.  I’d love to see him suffer because he just might be the world’s hugest asshole.

Anyway.

Obama and the debt ceiling.

He blinks too soon.  Almost always.

We need a president who wields not just a sword or an axe, but an electrically or pneumatically powered tool when it comes to policy.  Just like the last one except he was stupid and  Obama is smart.  His wife said rather famously that if he could walk on water they’d accuse him of not being able to swim.  So be it.  That’s where we are.  Own it Mr. President.  Why behave in public if you’re living on a playground?

Just how much the electorate cares about our debt and the deficit is debatable but that level of concern sure as hell isn’t anywhere near what it is for jobs and incomes in a sustained state of atrophy.

I’m flirting with the notion of becoming a member of the “professional left”.  That is, if I’m not already.  This president could have quite literally been among the greatest in the relatively short history of America.  He could have.  I don’t care about the color of his skin and neither should you.  It shouldn’t matter but it does.  It matters to bigots and Republicans.  It shouldn’t matter but it does.  It’s the best reason they have for hating him.  It’s the worst reason for hating anyone.  Still, they do.

I may have been foolishly optimistic in my musings over what a second term might bring.  Foolishly optimistic indeed, concerning this man over who’s election and subsequent inauguration I actually wept.

I confess to being overwhelmingly distraught over human nature and it’s effect on the human condition.

He has absolutely failed us.  I try to remind myself what he’s accomplished.  It’s not insignificant.  How he’s championed our cause.  The list keeps getting shorter.  The cause keeps getting more diluted.  The effect just can’t help but diminish.

It is what it is:

THE WARS, THE ABJECT NAKED FAILURE TO REGULATE BANKING THAT THRUSTED OUR HEADS INTO THE TOILET OF ECONOMIC DESPAIR , FAILURE TO EVEN PURSUE PUNISHMENT OF THE CULPABLE .  FAILURE TO LEAD.  FAILURE TO PROSECUTE THE BANKERS AND THE WAR CRIMINALS.  FAILURE TO EVEN CALL THE BASTARDS ON IT.

Why?  Give me a reason.  A reasonable reason other than you’re not interested in stirring shit.  Is it because you sought leadership of the free world knowing you were a pussy?

If Barack Obama is complicit in any way to cuts to social security, medicare or medicaid to offset or finance tax cuts to millionaires, billionaires or subsidies of any kind to obscenely wealthy corporations, my belief in hope and change will become the the vapor of foolish optimism it was consigned to be when my gullible reluctance for cynicism reared it’s pretty head for the last time.  In short, if this takes place in any way shape or form, I am fucking done with this guy and I am completely prepared to seek and support any other pretender to the throne to which we anointed him with our collective gust of naive indulgence.

Chain yanking of the first order.  The big picture is obscured by a shit smeared lens.

Fucking taxes.  Barbarians at the gate being thrown the meat and bones of the poor and elderly so they might gobble and suck at the marrow.  I fucking hate these guys.  Why is it we can’t repeal the Bush tax cuts on the rich?  It might just be that our president has a sore vagina.

Social security does not contribute to the deficit.  It goddamn doesn’t.  It is solvent for the next 26 years and is easily fixed beyond that.  The private sector in terms of health care is an absolute clusterfuck when compared to medicare and medicaid in cost, efficiency and efficacy.

There is sufficient debate to note that the actual intention or substance of this as a news story may be suspect, particularly in the context of some pretty clear, overt and specific proclamations by Obama on the subject in the past.  Regardless, whether it’s a mere “trial balloon” or an inauthentically spurious manipulation by mainstream media, it should be met with nothing less than a fierce vehemence and furious adamance of opposition by thinking Americans.  It is far too dangerous a bluff to make, even if that’s all it’s intended to be.

How many Americans have counted on the parachutes of medicare, medicaid and social security being there for most of their lives?  Cutting them will only accomplish one thing; it will worsen, egregiously, the economic malaise that every citizen save the wealthy, is already in the desperate throes of.   The Republican strategy is to hold the the heads of the American middle class in sepsis until it can no longer breathe and blame it on on Democrats and Obama so they can once again seize control of all three branches of government in 2012 and finish the job of remaking us into a plutocracy.  The writing is on the wall in glowing neon relief.

Obama needs to understand that nothing short of making a stand and calling bullshit on that strategy will enjoy the merest modicum of success.

Our only alternative might be a Republican executive and a Democratic legislature.  Given the persistent and homogeneous spinelessness of Democrats, such a turd would likely never have any shine.

Wanna take that chance?

Be ready  for it because it just might be the only one we have.

Drinks for my friends.

Happy independence day.

I sat with a retired couple the other day.  Nice people but we were opposites.

Fox News religiously.  How is it that people can be so nice and reasonable and still allow themselves to be so full of shit?

I still closed the deal.  Took me a couple hours but I knew what was going to happen inside of fifteen minutes.

I don’t get paid enough to know that.  I like people and they always like me.  They pay me for that.  Sometimes.  Less often than not it feels like.

I can’t find a decent job to save my life and if I jump out the window, there’s no one to close it behind me so my cats don’t wander out and fall.  I’m on the ninth floor.  I guess I’ll have to leave notice that I’ll be jumping out the window.  I can’t afford a gun right now.  I’ll need someone to close the window just a few minutes after I take the plunge.  Write me at this address if you’re up for it.

Maybe I hate myself.

It’s silly and pointless. We are already a third world country.

Within the next year or so 25% of our children will be below the poverty line.  Check me me before you wreck me but it’s true according to 60 minutes.  How many homeless do you think that means?  Do the math.

From ’09 until now, 88% of all economic growth has entered through the ass pockets of corporate profit.  In the same amount of time, you and I have seen about 1%.  Absolutely NOT adjusted for inflation.  Have you noticed the stock market just can’t get enough of itself?  They love themselves.  They should.  They walk around with thousand dollar bills glued to their  ridiculous jeans regardless of whether we can pay rent or not.  The recession and the subsequent “recovery” have amounted to an even greater concentration of wealth.  Do the math.  As the smoke clears and we treat our own gaping ass wounds, these fuckers eat smooth velvet cake and giggle at our gullibility.

400 of them own as much as 170,000,000 of us.

Republicans continue to flirt with the debt ceiling like it’s a legitimate issue.  Like it’s a real issue.  They raised the debt ceiling under Dumbya 7 times with nary a whimper.  Fuck me.  Blow me.  It’s not about that.  They hold it hostage to further an insidious agenda of austerity.  Eric Cantor wants you to believe that closing tax loopholes for corporate jet use is egregious enough for him to walk out of negotiations that would forestall what everyone agrees, everyone understands and everyone fears with good reason, will be an economic catastrophe.  CAT.  ASS.  TROPHY.  At the same time this officious little prick wants to see poor people lose access to medicine and Ramen noodles.

What a dick.

They keep telling the richest country in the history of mankind that it’s broke.

How can that be?

It’s not, but they want it to be.

It’s fucking bullshit.

I’ll tell you how.  Three wars.  Iraq, Afghanistan and Libya.  Corporations like General Electric don’t pay a motherfucking dime in taxes while illegal aliens pay billions.  We give subsidies to the richest, most profitable businesses in the history of mankind.  We’re talking big oil here. Defense contractors.  Corn growers.  Ethanol is like nuclear power in that neither is fiscally legitimate and both are as dangerous as say, fracking.  Way bigger money than any union.  And they scream and piss and moan about salaries paid to teachers, cops and firefighters.  They push and pine for austerity.  They hate unions because they are the cornerstone of and for the middle class.  They hate them all including a minimum wage because it’s “socialism”.  They hate the middle class because it historically represents a common sense center of power, ethics, morality and accountability in this country.

They hate us.

Many of them should be in fucking jail along with the most prominent members of the last administration.

They don’t just want more, they want everything.  They want all there is to get.

They label everything they oppose “socialism”.  They assume they know what that word means but are sure that you don’t.  They don’t understand that police and firefighters operate under one of the purest social constructs in existence.  Or maybe they do understand.

They don’t care that families will roam the streets in search of food and medicine.  Under the Ryan plan, they will and they just don’t care.  They don’t try to truthfully explain the Ryan plan, they choose instead to lie about it.  It’s kinda how you know they’re full of shit.

They can’t wait for the plutocracy to be complete.  It is why they have grown so egregiously bold.

They look forward to it because they don’t give a mad fuck.  THEY understand that WE no longer elect them.  YOUR elected representatives don’t give a shit about you.  They care only about getting re-elected so that the cycle continues.  They covet power and influence because that’s precisely what we’ve allowed.  The drug war is a sterling example.  Stop imagining that your government is wringing hands over you getting addicted to pot or even heroin.  They don’t care.  They just hope to be able to throw you in prison when you become obstreperous  and unmanageable because you smoke weed and we all understand that never happens.

Never.  Ever.  For the last forty years it’s been a great excuse for incarcerating hippies, activists, and brown people though.

America is a third world country.  The only exception, the only difference is that we go around the globe blowing up every brown person who disagrees with us.  While our teeth rot and our organs fail, while we lose our houses and our jobs, we prance around the world blowing everything up and scaring the shit out of everyone else.  We are bullies.  Assholes.

We hate ourselves.

We debate the debt ceiling, the budget and the deficit and seriously set the table with things like education and “entitlements” like social security, medicare and medicaid while ignoring the eight thousand pound fucking gorilla in the room that is spending hard earned tax dollars everyday to kill brown people.  Everywhere.  All the time.  Every day.  We kill more people everyday than any country on earth.  We incarcerate more people than any country on earth and most of them are of an alternate color.    We pay giant sums to do it all and pretend the argument is about the money we spend taking care of our own people.

Like that’s the bad thing.  Like we can’t afford that.

They really want you to think that taking care of our own is what’s breaking our backs.  They hope to make you see that it is YOU that is the enemy.  It’s the biggest lie they tell you and that says more than a lot.  If you believe that lie it means you are dumber than the people around you.  It means you probably watch and believe Fox News even though the economic policy being sold to you will fuck you in the ass.  It means you are incurably stupid.

It means you loath other people because you see yourself.  Insidiously clever.  I admit I’m impressed.

We pay more more than any country on earth for health care while only a fraction are covered and our health care sucks ass.  Our education sucks and that translates to a seriously jeopardized future.  They want this.  They can’t wait for it.  They think it will make you want to elect more crazy dipshits next time.  They count on it.  It’s their entire strategy.

I hear God loves the Tea Party, the stupidest motherfuckers in America and therefore, the world.  Only in America can you be pro gun, pro death penalty, pro nukes, pro big energy, pro unilateral preemptive aggression (The Bush Doctrine), pro heterosexual marriage exclusively, pro racial discrimination (anti muslim, anti immigration, sexist…..) and still be “PRO LIFE”.  What a bunch of asstards.  We rock at stupidity.  We are the champions of the world.  No wonder every other country laughs at us behind closed doors because they fear us.  We are vacant eyed dumb but we’ll fracture your skull with one roundhouse kick if you don’t shut up.

Like all bullies, we’ve been made to hate ourselves  by abusive, damaged parents.

They do it all in the name of God and religion.  Every single one of these hypocritical, loose lipped zealots says and does everything in the name of God and country like the two weren’t absolutely intended to be mutually exclusive by our forefathers who were way smarter and had had far more honest and far less avaricious intentions.  It is killing me.

It’s an early 80’s horror movie.

Michele Bachmann is the absolute dumbest person to ever run for president of the united states.  She can raise money like a riot and that all speaks volumes about the American electorate after George W. Bush was president for eight mindless years.  Whatever happened to her debating that twelfth grader on the constitution?  She spends her time proving she doesn’t know fuck all about our history and questioning everyone’s patriotism.  She hates herself.  They all hate themselves.  It’s why they always get caught committing some egregiously hypocritical act that the rest of us gasp at and pretend to be indignant about.

We’re all the same.

We no longer manufacture, we no longer lead in innovation, our infrastructure crumbles, our schools and education system rot while our young are uninspired and understandably despondent.  What’s wrong with the new generation?  Us.  We suck.  We are a third world country.  Soon, white people will be crossing the border to Mexico in search of a decent job.  Canada will very soon have an immigration problem.  And they like that. They want it.  They can’t wait.  They would twist and shout if the American middle class began to jump borders to make a better living just like all the brown people.  Then we’ll really start to compete with them and hate them like never before.  Maybe then NAFTA will be a real factor for the disadvantaged.

Will we be more or less of an empire then?

The answer is more.

There will be no balance without the equity of increased revenue AND cuts to our military.  AND cuts in subsidies to fat fucks in three piece suits who offshore business accounts, defense contracts, manufacturing and customer service.  AND tax increases on the wealthy.

We are not broke.  We are morally and ethically challenged and it’s painfully clear as evidenced by the fiscal priorities we actually countenance or tolerate while we behave like the most important things no longer matter.

We are a third world country.  Our elected representatives now represent anyone and everyone that would silence us.  Our voices and will are under sustained attack and deliberate corrosion.  The gulf between the American dream and reality continues to widen while the time to correct it grows shorter.  America as we think of it, is about to be over.   I don’t know about you but I don’t buy for a second that our ancestors walked with dinosaurs or that Reaganomics has done anything but ass rape working men and women.  They can’t wait for you to embrace these things.  And they are so close they can taste it.

They hate us because we are them.  We hate ourselves because we are them.

Do the math.

Happy Independence Day.

Drinks for my friends.

A vagina on a woman is a powerful thing.  On a man, it’s nothing more than a deficit.

On the other hand, I admit Johnny Depp is a lovely man.  Most women would hit that.

I went door to door for a while..  It was humiliating.

That was then and this is now.  Some days I wish I would be hit by a bus.  Most days,  I’ve no idea what to to do other than what I’m doing.  What I do is take sales jobs where I’m promised that if I don’t suck I’ll make decent money.  I don’t suck.  I’m actually pretty good, which is why I want to to kill myself.  Everybody wants to rule the world except me.

I keep running into men with vaginas.  They’ve actually lied to me to get me to work for them.  It’s happened.  It’s not exactly an employee’s market.

That leads us to Tim Pawlenty, Jon Huntsman and Sarah Bachmann.  I mean Palin, er….Michelle. Vagina vs. vagina.  I love it but I can’t stand it.  I adore it but it horrifies me and cracks me the fuck up.  Huntsman is well liked and respected but can’t possibly pull it off unless he walks back every position he’s taken in the last few years while actually working for the dark side.  Get it?  You know, the black guy.

Anyway, he’s got arguably less charisma than T-Paw which is significant in and of itself and neither of them can command the kind of attention the two milf barbies do when it comes to stages and cameras, balloons and circuses, dogs and ponies and all that.  Palin won’t run but she’ll pretend to as long as she manages to matter.  That ship has sailed.  Her expiration date is already a past due.  She’s done.  She’ll still be around but will continue to matter less and less until she melts under her pointy black hat.

Vagina vs. vagina.

Palin is stupid, but just smart enough to avoid buying her own crap and  Bachmann is batshit crazy enough to actually believe what she so vehemently pontificates.  Michelle Bachmann is the real deal.  Sarah Palin understands very well that she’s a joke even though she would never admit it, so Michelle Bachmann necessarily scares the maxi pad off a cunt like Palin.  Cross Sarah off the list.  She won’t run because she’s lazy and stupid and just sane enough to own it.

I hear she’s canceled her purposeless and directionless bus tour.  Wow.  Really sorry to hear that.  I am profoundly nonplussed.

Does that sound disrespectful?  I’m so sorry for the sandwich I’ve caused you.

So then, neither of them is as big a dick as Romney, who’s forced to flee like a scared little girl from his own biggest success, efficacious health care for all of Massachusetts of course.  Wildly popular of course.  Demonstrably similar to “Obama Care” of course.  So the Republicans hate Romney because he’s a secret double probation liberal in a conservative, but lustrous and gleaming ice cream suit.  I’m giddy that they hate Guy Smiley over what they imagine is his commie, pinko oblongata.  He’s long out front but they hate his guts.  He’s their only chance but he has none, whether it’s winning the nomination or the presidency.

And he’s a Mormon.  They hate Mormons because they aren’t “Christian”.

These people are fucked up.  In a time when most Americans think that homosexuals should be allowed to betroth,  exchange vows and consummate, when most people understand that taxing the egregiously wealthy could and should mitigate our fiscal maladies while it won’t have any deleterious  consequences for an already anemic job market, when most of us have come to understand that pounding the pride and money out of the middle class is a huge mistake, these assholes still cling to the rubric of obsolete cultural and social mores by waging war on shit we just don’t care about anymore.

Pile on to that, their relentlessly ridiculous insistence that a draconian fiscal austerity be imposed with an iron fist on the people in this country that least deserve it or have the most piddling ability to suffer it.  All in the context of record corporate and Wall street profits.

They aren’t just stupid.  They are willfully ignorant.  Hollow brinksmanship.

It takes my breath away.

We are witnessing the second act of a three act play about the collapse of the modern Republican party under a contagion of ideological absurdity.  The first act was the 2010 election.  This second act began with a  brief, but defiant rally by the patient who now speeds inevitably towards submission to a breathing apparatus and feeding tubes.  I can’t wait for act three, where we’ll discover whether the feeble and confused invalid signed a DNR (do not resuscitate) order.

Word is, the Darkman, Obama, is taking Pawlenty and Huntsman more seriously than the other vaginas.  That’s telling.  Color me fascinated.  They clearly know more than I do.  I still struggle with the idea that Obama, once the unlikeliest  of candidates, has no real competition as we speak.  Fucking crazy that the lock step, overtly disciplined machine has not anything but shit sandwiches on the platter.  Gingrich farts in a vacuum and Trump keeps showing up with turd festooned catfish lips and a notorious exhale.

Imagine being anyone of these desperate fools and understanding that unless Obama is caught with the corpse of Anna Nicole Smith in The Oval, there is zero chance their name will issue from the mouths of school children.  Much less a Texas text book portraying them strolling with dinosaurs.

I hear God might want Rick Perry to run.  Like we need another Christian zealot from Texas.   How much will the village miss it’s idiot this time I wonder.  Praise the lord and pass gas.

They are all jackasses.

I’ve been pointing this out for quite a while and I have a really good reason for doing so.  It is what it is.  What it is now, is a pretty goddamn good chance that Obama will slide into a second term.

What needs to happen now, is what they’re most afraid of.  This administration, without the specter of reelection hanging overhead, should rise to the occasion we’ve all been idealizing for years.  The sack we hoped for and had a right to anticipate given the rhetoric and message sermonized, should be on full display come next year.

But it’s up to you.  It’s always about you.  It never stops being just that.  This president needs to step up, but he won’t unless you do.  He won’t if you don’t.  All the things the “professional left” bitches about will never come to pass unless we and they continue to piss, moan and holler.  Nevermind them that would pretend at the throne.  FDR admonished, “Make me do it.”

“We don’t need need ‘new ideas’.  We need the balls to implement the ideas we already know work.  Cut corporate welfare.  Slash the defense budget.  Tax the rich.  Support the strong unions that created a middle class in the first place.  Build infrastructure and take the profit out of health care………”  -Bill Maher

As of this writing, the New York state legislature has passed a bill that allows for same sex marriage.  It’s an absolute unequivocal civil rights triumph.  The times, they are a changin’.  Suck on that you backward ass country fucking bigots.  Your obsolescence is planned and coming home to roost.

The sale is always closer than you think.

Drinks for my friends.

I did the salad bar at Ralph’s tonight. The spinach looked fresh and there was three kinds of cheese. I should be in bed. The problem is, I’ve got this excellent salad and I’m not hungry and I should be in bed.  Conundrum.  Stress shrinks my stomach.  It’s been good to me so far.  I even bought a jar of Bob’s.  I’ve got luxury dressing.  Bob’s (big boy) Bleu Cheese Salad Dressing is among the finest things mankind has ever produced, recorded and mixed.

I’ve decided I’ll only get through a third of this salad but it feels good to eat plants.  Tons of fresh earthy spinach, tomatoes and onions and mushrooms and olives.  I always make it too big.  There’s a disconnect between my appetite and my stomach.  I threw on some of those little orange mandarin slices that look like bent index fingers, but orange and kinda translucent.  Red onion.  A modicum of oil and vinegar.  Fetta, bleu and parmesan.

I practice the high art of saladry.  Somebody bring me some water.

I can’t help it.  I think in colors and sounds and tastes and textures.  I wonder just how different that is.  Do most people estimate all that they take in on a scale that is from black to white?  I hear people discuss things in terms  of from one to ten.  Percentages.  Is everything gray?  Somewhere between black and white?  On a scale of zero to one hundred?  Do they oversimplify experiences and perceptions for the sake of convenience and or common definition?

Of course they do.

Yet there is no way we could have cell phones and computers or even the combustion engine if even half of us thought so inside the box.

It makes me think of the multi level chessboard from the original Star Trek.  Remember Spock kicking some crew member’s ass with an emotionless countenance?

We arrived at music long before the nuclear bomb.  I’ve learned that so many of us are dumb and quite a few of us are unbelievably smart.

The human race is what it is.

I never made music, but I facilitated it.  I was pretty good at it.  I did my best to make it sound like it did in my head.  It may have been selfish or egocentric to render it so accordingly but it was all I had.  All I knew to do.  The people who weren’t as good at it as I was didn’t even do that.  I felt it, tasted it, saw it.  I heard it in my head.

As a segue, it’s a stretch but bear with me.  The field of Republican candidates is a joke.  Silly fucks.  Today’s temperature indicates not one of them has a chance in hell.  Still, not one viable candidate.  They don’t see anything.  They can’t or don’t or refuse to picture a damn thing.  They don’t care.  They don’t want to.  Opportunists  all.  Present  for the opportunity, nevermind the job.  All there to boost book sales or speaking fees.  Republicans love money so much they’re not ashamed to run for president; not only hoping, but knowing they can’t win.  Okay, maybe not all of them.  Nobody’s ever heard of Pawlenty.  He’ll lose and write a book that no one will buy.

All resplendent on a stage the other night for the “debate” to say mendaciously fanciful things about the president.  Lies behind smiles.  So afraid to confront or actually engage one another.  Back to back they faced each other.  With their swords they declined to even shoot at each other.

Bachmann had the most composure.  What does that tell you?

I can’t believe they gave Newt a spot.  What does that tell you?

Did I watch it?  Can Sarah Palin name the capitol of Washington DC?  See what I’m saying?

The answer is fuck no.  I hate a predictable movie.

It’s a goddamn joke.  Not one of them is taking it seriously.  There is not one viable Republican candidate.  Not one.  Although Romney’s magic underwear is in a temporary twist because he’s leading the pack.  I love Michele Bachmann as much as I loathe her.  She’s dumb as a stick but makes Palin look like she suffers from fetal alcohol syndrome.  Both might be milfs so there lies the impetus for their popularity.  It sure as fuck isn’t brains or ability.  Whatever.  It’s the only reason anyone gives a mad fuck.  And the only people that give that mad a fuck breathe through their mouths and ears.

I used to be able to breathe through my ears but that was a few million years ago.  It’s no longer necessary.

You know, evolution and all.

Take Newt and Romney.  Guy Smiley is a used car salesman in that he’s clever but stupid.  Really nice hair.  Handsome.  Zero integrity.  A champion of health care before it was a liability among the truly stupid.  He can’t run on the only success he ever had in office because any power for the people is an anathematic litmus test for membership in good standing of today’s Republican party.  Gorgeous irony.  He’s rich and he’s got nothing else to do and running for president has been huge for his brand before, so he’s back.  He is an idiot.  I could smoke him at tic tac toe by persuading him to let me go first every time.  He would, because he’s a dumbass.

Newt is absolutely the same deal, but both smarter and stupider simultaneously.  All about his brand.  An intelligent man making a living off of willfully ignorant people. He makes me think in terms like pie faced, salamander and asshole.  Every important person in his campaign quit last week.  They told him to pound sand because they simply couldn’t live with themselves.  Nothing but a blowhard.   Newt is an absolute jerkoff who fancies himself an intellectual and then there’s his wife.  Talk about Stepford.  Weird Barbi vacant stare and mannequin grin…….haunted and soulless …..and she’s involved in all decisions.  Real First Lady material.  I’d be afraid of her in a dark alley because I know she has special powers.  She can mysteriously inspire a man to full rigidity only to fang all the blood therefrom.

Ever notice Trump has a mouth like a goddamn catfish?

Look. we all just want security.   And these people are clowns who just want us to be afraid.

What they will do for as long as they can get away with it, is peddle fear.  Fear porn.  Bullshit, hypocritical loathing of anyone different in any way.  Fags, dykes, niggers, spics, towel heads, socialists, peaceniks, Satan worshipers, atheists, union workers, the poor, the disenfranchised ……….anyone not White Anglo Saxon Protestant.  Even though that shit is so 1950’s, Orange County-Alabama.

They will continue their duty as profligates to promulgate the lie that America is broke and perpetuate the myth that it’s all our fault in order to propagate austerity so that the rich get richer, the poor get poorer and the global concentration of wealth marches on.  Understand that they know it doesn’t matter whether they get elected or not.  They know they won’t.  It just doesn’t matter.  It’s not about that.

I ate the whole salad.

The Republican party got me stoned for a month one night.  Then they drug tested me and I lost my job.  Now I can’t get unemployment benefits because  of the drug test I failed.  So I had an abortion.  Now I can’t vote.  That’s big government.  Does this look infected to you?  They seem to be afraid of me because I look white but there’s a chance I might be black.  Actually, I’m a Scottish Muslim. They hate to be confused.  I’d hate to be that confused too.

Bumpy and pink watermelon flavored pudding.

Just wait ’til Obama doesn’t have to worry about being reelected.  Howitzer’s may fire from the rose garden.  Gatling guns rattling and exploding I expect.  A conscious man who need not fear the courage of his convictions or his actions from here on in.  I hope.  This is what they fear most.  They do their worst.  They know they their chance is no more than a fart in a whirlwind.

Drinks for my friends.

We are different as Americans. We would be wise to understand that. It would be smart for us to own that we are different in ways that are profound and unique in the eyes of the world.  That lotsa people think we’re assholes.

If we could just do that.

I failed to close a deal with a couple from a certain culture the other day even though I understood the cultural division that existed like a turducken between us.  I knew what to do.  Where to go.  But I didn’t.  It’s all over but the shouting.  And that’s my point.  I know people.  I know how to do that.  I knew what to do but I didn’t do it.  I’m pissed at myself because I’m a salesman and I knew exactly what to do, and I didn’t do it.

I tell myself new job and don’t rock the boat on a very public sales floor.  Arena.  Coliseum.  So I didn’t, but I should have.

See, he lied to me.

I should have confronted him.  I should have addressed it.

It made me think.  People are different at least as much as we are the same.  I’m white.   You’re a lovely shade of olive.  We look different.  So what?  The difference in complexion is not the point.  We really need to move beyond the simple notion of racism and begin to know that cultural differences are what cause unrest.

Despite America being the melting pot of diversity, the last bastion for poor and huddled masses yearning to be free, only recently have we managed to entertain the idea of equality when it comes to those of a different color.  So now we opine about our cultural differences as though they’re inherent.  Yup.  We’re onto something here.  They aren’t inherent but they are the next best thing.  Indoctrinated.  Inside America we have profound cultural divides.  The very few Americans that manage to think beyond borders stare at a potent mix of animosity and defiance and realize it’s just outside the door.

We’ve begun to sag in the middle.  We’re not what we used to be.  Quite a bit of gray behind the eyes and above the ears.

If we could just see the world for what it is and stop viewing it in the context of us.  Stop thinking it’s about us.  If we could just do that.

And then if everyone else could do that too.

I believe I have just solved everything.

So yeah.  Skin in the game.  It’s all about how much you stand to lose.

Let’s talk about Anthony Weiner.

I am compelled to put his transgressions into context.  That word again.

You have your David Vitters, your Newt Gingrichs and your John Ensigns…………all champions of family values and absolute fucking hypocrites who’s crimes make those of Mr. Weiner look Fisher Price.  Anthony Weiner never staked a claim to any of that real estate.  Family values.  Horseshit indefinable morality.  It’s worth pointing out but really beside the point when all is said and done.  What he was, was an extraordinarily adept firebrand for progressive thinking, ideas and concepts.  He had the courage of his convictions and he demonstrated them with an enviable adroitness made up of equal parts humor, intelligence and aplomb.  As an unapologetic liberal, I liked and admired him.

An ideal beast.

What frustrates and disappoints me so profoundly is that his indefatigable pursuits and powerful confidence will be forever be compromised by pictures of his hairless torso and a horse package barely contained by a pair of gray, butt hugging briefs.  Just what the fuck is up with a man so obviously intelligent and talented, overtly courting disaster by so recklessly inviting a foregone conclusion via such  public media such as twitter and facebook?  Mind bogglingly dumb.  Obtuse.  Ridiculous.  Embarrassingly stupid.  What the hell?

Understand the danger here, if John Edwards for example, had managed to further his charade a step or two more, John McCain and Sarah Palin would be our current ringmasters.  If that doesn’t scare you, call 911 so at least a professional can check you for a pulse.

I’d love to tell you that I’m baffled.  That I’m confused.  That my mind can find no purchase into this mystery of hubris and foolishness.  But I think I understand.  It’s the same thing that mysteriously manifested with John Edwards.  Lead Singer’s Disease.  LSD for short.  I’ve dealt with a lot of lead singers and lead guitar players, programmers and producers.  I was one of those and I was a cocky motherfucker.  A lovely woman who now hates me described me as “puffy”.  Every public person, celebrity, elected official and local news anchor struggle with and suffer from such malaise.  The good ones rise above it.  The weak ones succumb.  The in between ones, the huge majority, end up being exposed or not but they are always guilty by degrees.  The personality requisite for fronting a rock band is more than similar to that of a politician.  When they don’t get that record deal or fail to get elected, the reaction is always bitter and blame is everywhere but on them.  When they do succeed, a sense of privilege or entitlement begins to take hold.

I was in between and guilty by more than a few degrees.

For an ordinary individual, this could very well be all but a victimless trespass.  No actual live penis insertion.  Nothing hot and sweaty.  No exchange of fluids.  Still, a matter for wife and husband.  But in the instance of an ambitious, publicly elected federal representative, victims are abundant and prolific.  His constituents, colleagues, friends and family.  I am none of those.  You probably aren’t either, but he was much bigger than all of that.  So at the end of the day,  it is you and it is me.  It is.  We pay.  His voice is no longer viable; he’s no longer credible.  He did take on dragons in his day.  Flying, fire breathing serpents will no longer be on his list.  He’s off our list of brave warriors for probably ever.

“Who are these men of lust, greed, and glory?
Rip off the masks and let’s see.
But that’s no right – oh no, what’s the story?
There’s you and there’s me……” -Supertramp “Crime Of The Century”

I wish fiercely that Big Bad Bill would not have lied about his blowjob.  He should have told that vociferous asshole Ken Starr that it was none of his business.  Anthony Weiner should have done the same from the start.  After all, no crime was committed.

But, I’m absolutely furious with Mr. Weiner for so thoughtlessly engaging in behavior that jeopardized everything he stood for and everything we stood behind him for.

Anthony Weiner, you shameless prick, pun intended, do I think you should resign?

I believe Democrats should hold themselves to a higher standard than Republicans, who quite conspicuously do not.  We must be able to wake up in the morning, look in the mirror and own that we are better than them.  They claim the moral high ground but we actually hold the deed and we’re paid up.  I’m more than sure that Anthony Weiner is a better human being than Andrew Breitbart, Rush Limbaugh or any other right wing fucktard, goofcock, dipshit that masquerades as journalist these days.  It’s a tough call.  I really liked him.  I’m conflicted.  What he risked is all we who supported him hold sacred.  He did that willingly.  What he’s done is inexcusable, not for what it actually was but for the inevitable consequences.

I must tell you that I never judge a man or woman for such failings.  It’s not my business.

But his goddamn nonchalant insouciance pisses me off in light what is so glaringly evident.  He forced his actions into our purview.

So yes, Mr. Weiner.  I suggest you take a walk.  I sincerely hope you can repair the damage done to your family and friends.  I suspect you can still prosper in life as a private citizen.  You are clearly bright and accomplished.  You’ll be fine, provided you can make peace with those close to you.  It’s not that what you did is actually so bad.  It’s that you so casually disregarded why we all believed in you for some spurious pleasure.  You lied about it.  You are a rockstar no more.

Your best efforts from here on in, will merely bruise the message.

I suggest you start drinking heavily and walk away.

Today, because of you, we all lose.

I thank you with all of my heart and mind for your service.

Please step away from the vehicle.

Drinks for my friends.

I used to dread dressing professionally. Now I’m okay with it despite my lack of professional clothes.  I compensate for ordinary shoes.  I have just enough to get through a week of work. I hate how obvious it is when I drip after pissing because I don’t wear underwear.  Tan slacks tend to belie the fact that you just took a leak if you’re not very careful.  I’ve hated underwear since I was in jr high; made my crotch itch like bugs were having a rodeo in my burgeoning thatch of barely pubescent straw.

The whole showering with other sometimes enormous dicks and harrier balls traumatized me too.  The last thing you want when you’re twelve is overgrown jocks evaluating your package and discussing it with cheerleaders.

Just like starting a new job.

It seems I’ve had as many new jobs in the last year as months on the calendar.  There was at least one asshole I couldn’t possibly work for without punching him in the mouth or bombing his house.  I absolutely could have made it rain for him but he couldn’t see past the line of blow in front of him.  Complete loser.  Been there, done that.  There was another group of people that I wish could taste their bad behavior like rancid their breath.  Dicks in vaginal clothing.  Seriously.  In between were all the random sales jobs.  Window treatments at Costco, two brief auto warranty jobs and a stint as a door to door for the environment.  I’ve got humility and experience.  I’ve sold everything from glass dildos to pot pipes, merchant services to customized rolling papers.

All the sudden I’m well rounded and middle aged.

I wash my hands and shake them at my pants to make the issue smaller.

My life is crazier than I ever would have imagined but I’ve learned that I’m not crazy and I’m not stupid.

Still, sometimes I try to think but nothing happens.

I see people.  I’m pretty sure I do.  It’s obvious when they’re amplified by the media.  Yet ordinary people are easy to spot but not so easy to figure out.  I’ve made a living for quite some time by figuring people out.  It’s what I do.

I am public.  I have become a face for yet another company.

Sales is one of the craziest things anyone could ever choose.  A former best friend drug me into it fifteen years ago.  He and I no longer talk. He wasn’t my best or only friend but he was a good one while it lasted.  I’m grateful he pushed my face into it.

It’s hard.

But it is nothing.

It ain’t shit.

Yesterday was Memorial Day.

I’m a peacenik.  A pacifist.  I’m absolutely confident that the war we chose to wage in Iraq was without reason.  Zero logical justification.  The sheer number of dead on either side was for not one goddamn good reason.  Not one.  It breaks my heart.  Because it was stupid.  Because it was never about justice or honor or decency.  Never about a legitimate threat or an impending threat or an inevitable consequence.  All of it, in it’s entirety, was absolute bullshit.  Talk about wanting to punch motherfuckers in the mouth.

It really pisses me off.

America has not waded into a conflict with just cause since WWII.  We are dangerously stupid and absurdly wealthy and our most convenient currency is human life, whether it’s us or them, and that makes us inexcusably evil.  What we are about now and how we are perceived beneath the world’s proscenium is abhorrent, audacious and awful.  Without question, America is now the glassy eyed bully in the bar.  Six foot five, two hundred and eighty pounds, fully willing to swing on you and give you a life threatening concussion for objecting to grabbing your girlfriend’s ass on her way back from the ladies room.  That is us.  That is America today.

There are lots of things, aspects of this reality that engender my bitter disgust.  The most profound is exactly how and without any care or compassion we execute such egregious and ridiculous madness with the currency of human life like it matters so little.  Pennies from heaven and dollars from hell.  Our four plus thousand dead and their hundreds of thousands dead don’t matter nearly as much as Dick Cheney’s buddies profiting like fucking pirates from the whole thing.  Profiteering.  Raping and pillaging both us and them.  I swear to you that if they lost a handful of thousands of lives and we lost hundreds of thousands, it would still be the same.  They would sell and we would buy the fear and it would be the same.  They don’t give a mad fuck because our military is nothing if not expendable in their eyes.  Because human life is currency to them.

Our men and women are free money and an absolute means to an end.  The end belongs to them and so does the means.

It is how they see it.

They should all be in prison.  They should all be waterboarded.  They should all be tortured and when it’s over, nail their gray bearded ball sacks to the floor, set the goddamn house on fire and give the bastards a dull knife to get away with.

God Bless America.

Afghanistan is the same deal.  Osama Bin Laden is dead.  So what?  Like he had anymore to do with anything than we did.  We made him.  We made Saddam Hussein.  Somebody tell me exactly what we’re up to and why we’re spending ten billion a month on this war while earnestly attempting to push Medicare and Social Security through the floor and into the basement.  Who’s brainchild is this?  How is it that any responsible American can countenance it?

Seriously, are you people new?  Are you retarded?  Was your nursery and crib painted with lead based paint?  Was the garage too close to your bedroom?  Why aren’t we in the streets when our very own people are dying tragically and violently for no good reason?  When hundreds of thousands who never wanted it and have no idea why there’s this sudden, lethal shitststorm, are facing death everyday?  When our veterans and mentally handicapped are living out of shopping carts and sleeping in cardboard boxes?  Or when our seniors or chronically ill can’t afford life sustaining medical care?  When our good and honorable soldiers are dealing death and destruction on a scale that I guarantee most, if not all of us, are ill equipped to comprehend?  Fuck me this is beyond stupid.  They keep ramming down our necks how broke America is and we keep spending the amounts of money it would take to fix it all every goddamn month on killing people who will never, ever be any kind of threat to any of us in any way.

Holy shit this is stupid, and so are we.

Sometimes I try to think about it and nothing happens.

I don’t wonder at all about why the rest of the world thinks we’re a bunch of ignorant, self obsessed jackasses without an ounce of compassion or self awareness.  That is precisely who and what we are.  We are dicks, losers and idiots.  How many actually took Donald Trump, the world’s most penultimate, most accomplished blowhard seriously as a viable candidate for president of the United States?  How many will actually entertain similar notions regarding Sarah Palin or Michelle Bachmann?  It’s looking more and more like both intend to run.  Both will end up as queens of fodder for comedians everywhere but what does it say about America when two such obviously brain dead bitches think they have a chance?  Don’t get me wrong, I can’t wait.  But really?  It, they, give me pause.

But I can’t wait because I still have a sense of humor.

So with all sincerity, here’s my toast for the fallen.  For the brave and unselfish.  I am sincerely sorry that your life was offered and given.  I can’t tell you how sorry I am about your missing limbs or that your blind or deaf or unable to process a thought or ever get a reasonable night of sleep.  I respect and admire your courage and commitment.  Thank you.  I don’t doubt you signed on with noble and selfless intentions.

Thank you.  And I’m really sorry about all of this.

It pains me to recognize that what you aspired to was never going to be what you hoped and thought it would.  What you were told and what you died for for was a lie.  It’s not your fault.  They lied to you.  Sixty years ago, men and women like you fought and died for very good reason.  Men and women like you did a wonderful thing.  You still did the best you could to be the best you could and you died trying to be the best you could.  You still died for your country.  Or now you’re an eggplant because of your country.  Your country has changed.  And that makes me sorry.  When I think about it and something does happen, my stomach rolls over and I want to puke and cry.  I am sorry to and for everyone who survives you.  All the people who now live without you or what you once were, with giant, gaping unfillable holes in their hearts.  I’m sorry and sad because sooner or later, many if not most of the people who survive you, will realize that you died for just south of nothing.

I hate that.  It breaks my heart, but it’s true.

What do I know?

I’m just a salesman.

Happy Memorial Day.

Drinks for my friends.

I’m pretty pleased the world didn’t end whenever they said it would last weekend.  I’m kinda pissed too.

It’s incredibly sad that so many of us actually bought into that shit.

I need to point out how ridiculous this nonsense is.  Was.  Will always be.

Give me a break.  Nobody knows anything about the end of days any better than anyone else.

My theory is that we’ll see it coming.  The rest of the bees will die off or Pakistan will get all jiggy with their nukes.  It’s going to be obvious.  We’re going to see it coming even if it’s an asteroid the size of  a Double Western Bacon Cheeseburger.  It absolutely will not be a surprise.  That doesn’t mean it’s not coming.  But it does mean we’ll see it and fear it for concrete reasons and the concept of ‘rapture’ will be the last thing escaping our lips.

I hate that there’s so many jackasses in America.

Fuck me, we’re stupid.

I’m just so frustrated.  I guarantee that most, if not all of the people who believed this ridiculous crap actually vote.  That doesn’t just scare me, it makes me authentically paranoid.  Lots of really dumb people voting.  Oh my.  It’s why Dumbya got elected.  It’s why jackwagons like Gingrich still enjoy the Sunday morning political talk show circuit, no matter what he says.  It’s why kids in Kansas or Texas have to suffer through an absurd curriculum that includes creationism and walking with dinosaurs.  These limp minded, backward ass country fucks are desperate for a reason to believe in a Santa Clause in the sky.  Someone to absolve them for banging their sister or lusting after Timmy, the nine year old paper boy.

They use God to justify racism, bigotry and sexism.

They can’t handle the truth.  They suck and they are morally and ethically reprehensible but they want to blame it on the Devil and be absolved by Jesus because the bible tells them so.

These roundheaded mouth breathers vote.  Consistently.

They are what’s wrong with all of us.  What’s wrong with everything.

Assholes.

They tell you that America is a “Christian Nation”.  That our forefathers intended as much.  Bullshit.  We fled England in large part to avoid religious persecution.  Most of them sought to insure that we’d forever be protected from divine intervention or any kind of God fuckery.

They lie. Excellent liars are excellent liars because they believe their own lies.  I’m a salesman.  The only way I could sell crap is if I didn’t believe it was crap.  I don’t do that.  I know the difference.  The people that thought the world would end last weekend don’t know the difference.  They are tragically gullible.  They shouldn’t be allowed to reproduce, much less drive or vote.  But they can and they do.

I am not at all sorry to tell you that the alleged master of all ceremonies according to any religion never existed at all and was only made up thousands of years ago to explain natural disasters and the attendant human suffering because science was in it’s prenatal stage.

I am sorry to tell you that the millions of people who still believe such horseshit still vote and that’s why we have the Republican party.

We need to get religion out of our politics.  How many times do they have to be proven absolutely and completely wrong about every single goddamn thing before we stop paying attention to anything and everything?  They tell us not to fuck everything in sight while they do just that but then ask for God’s forgiveness and that makes it okay.  They are vociferous and obstreperous in compelling us to limit a woman’s choice about her own body but then refuse to provide any care or alternative to that woman when she brings that fetus to term.  They railed against “Death Panels” but tell us two years later that we need to end social programs that would prevent grandma from dying on the street.

You know it as the Ryan budget and they are staring at their own demise.

Still, this is regoddamndiculous and these people should all die in the first frost of the soonest winter.

God is the problem.

Ronald Reagan said something like government isn’t the answer to our problems.  Government is the problem.

Wrong.

God is the problem.

Drinks for my friends.

There’s a confluence of wind in my shitbox.  After sundown I can place any large open mouthed empty plastic bottle pointed southwest on the southwest corner of my coffee table and watch it rock back and forth ever so slightly for hours.  I have one doing as much as I write this.  I control how much it shakes it’s hips by points on the compass.  The potential of introducing fluids into the equation is not lost on me.

They say the only thing that can possibly influence the absolute fifty fifty of a coin toss is human expectation.  Today there’s news of a planet that could maybe sustain us 20 light years away.  As of now it would take us 30,000 years to get there.  I’ve heard this before but it came up the other day in a sales meeting.

The idea that human anticipation can influence quantum physics is awesome.  This is no ordinary telemarketing job.  It was all illustrated with a brief lecture and five tosses of a quarter by a really smart guy who is kind of a dick.   My final day at this job was last Friday.

I’m moving on to something far more intense.  Somehow, my balls have gotten bigger.  I don’t doubt foolishly, but I wonder by how much.

There’s a difference between clever and intelligent.  It’s not quite as wide as the difference between brave and stupid.  It’s the difference between an ass in heels as opposed to no ass in heels.

It occurs to me we should talk about the goddamn Republicans or something.

I guess the Newt announced last week?  Whatever.  This big of an asshole will never be president.  He knows this as well as we do.  After a loser campaign, his speaking fees will spike and his brand will be secure despite the laws of natural selection consistently killing off his base.  He’ll shrink, but he’ll die before his brand is unable to sustain him.  It’s the only thing about him that really fucks with me.  He’s only running for president to insure he’s rich until he dies.  He will get that far and that really pisses me off.

He’ll walk away.

I really hope he’s in for a while though.  I do.  Really.  I can’t wait to watch him step on his bottom lipdick whilst defending a scorching case of hypocrisy from the dais of family values and religious bigotry.  He reeks like a homeless payday loan specialist when it comes to integrity.  He was banging his mistress and divorcing his cancer riddled wife while he lead the charge to impeach Big Bad Bill for a blowjob.

What a dick.

Newt Gingrich will die rich but miserable and suffering.

I welcome and adore his pollution of the Republican field of zero charisma or accomplishment.  The Newt’s batting average is in the goddamn basement.  He’s regarded by the GOP as an intellectual and that cracks me the fuck up.  He has no shame and is therefore qualified to run for president as a Republican.

Miller: John Wayne was a fag.
All : The hell he was.
Miller : He was, too, you boys. I installed two-way mirrors in his pad in Brentwood, and he come to the door in a dress.  -Repo Man

Then you have Guy Smiley.  Mit Romney.  Got single payer health care done in Massachusetts and lo and behold, it’s his albatross.  Unlike Harry Reid, Mr. Smiley will get pissed up the nose for being Mormon.  It won’t because of his religion; it will be because he’s a jackass.  A reasonably skilled politician bereft of any intellectual acuity.  Way outmatched.  He’s got nothing but money.

Who do we have left?  Pawlenty?  He’ll become a bigger contender for sure because he’s more serious.  He doesn’t look at the whole thing like a beauty pageant like Palin and Trump and really all of them including Huckabee.  But he has no charisma or presence, so his chances are as good as Dennis Kucinich winning a wet t-shirt contest.  I loves me some Dennis but you see what I’m saying.

As of this writing, Huckabee and the world’s most successful race baiting blowhard Donald Trump, have thrown in the towel.  I don’t like Huckabee much because he’s so slimy-hypocritical religious but I fucking loathe The Donald because he’s so flamboyantly full of shit that I crave the opportunity to swing on him.

Trump’s flameout was vaingloriously breathtaking.  The smackdown that asswizard got at the correspondent’s dinner after the release of the long form and right before the bloodying of Osama to death absolutely means The Donald will do his very best to dwell in the margins for the rest of his days.  This dipshit is officially over.  He got his ass handed to him internationally.  He may just die a pauper.  He will be canceled by NBC sooner rather than later.  The difference between Trump and the reptile Newt is that Trump is fucking stupid.  Both have allowed hubris to eclipse wisdom for decades and both share the ability to blow hard absent any sense of decency much less humility.

“Prejudices are what fools use for reason.” -Voltaire

I love the Republicans and their fevered, screaming, regrettably adopted, red headed and yellow toothed step child we know as the Tea Party.  I fucking love them.  Their extreme and willful ignorance is forcing folks off the fence right and left.  Is there a pun here?  It is absolutely biting them in the ass and dividing them.  There was a band once called The Meat Puppets.  I think the Tea Party should endorse The Meat Puppets as their official band before checking out their lyrics.  It would be very Republican of them to endorse and ask questions later.  Official meat would be bologna or maybe spam and official puppets would be of the finger variety.  When I think Tea Party I think brainless puppets made of some processed meat product with lots of nutritionless filler.

And mustard.  I like mustard.

You want proof?  How about Rick the shameless prick Santorum recklessly clamoring to bolster the lie that Osama’s death is directly related to our shamelessly illegal and completely ineffective use of torture by stating that John McCain of all people doesn’t understand torture.  John McCain who spent five years as a POW and was tortured relentlessly.  Really Mr. Santorum?    McCain staffer Mark Salter wrote on facebook “….for pure blind stupidity nobody beats Santorum in the Senate, In my 20 years in the senate, I’ve never met a dumber member, which he reminded me of today”.  Still no apology.  Still, no attempt at a walkback.  Santorum is a dickhead of the first order.  He has no chance.  A man this dumb couldn’t hold a gig clerking at the 7-11.

See how the blind mice run?

The Ryan budget sprung a leak before it left the womb.  The whole medicare thing was jarringly stupid.  It’s an absolute non starter. What brain trust arrived at this political calculus of going after the most popular social (socialist) programs in this country?  After Dumbya went after social security so spectacularly unsuccessfully in ’04.  The euphemism “entitlements” is jackassery.  People pay into these programs and can and should expect a return.  These programs are coveted and revered because they are of a socialist model just like libraries and fire departments and ideally clean public places to take a crap if you have to.  They are about decency and dignity after working hard for a long time and paying taxes and paying in to social programs.  What is wrong with any of that?

The Ryan budget favors even more tax cuts for the rich and even more subsidies for the wealthiest corporations in human history.  It’s not what the Tea Party wants; they’re too fucking stupid to want anything other than symbols and bullshit ideology.  It is absolutely what the money behind the Tea Party lusts for, drooling and naked with pornographic avarice.

All these Republicans, moving in concert by voting for this legislative vivisection, march exasperatingly to a Waterloo of their own device.

More Proof?  Witness Gingrich’s three different positions on medicare in roughly the last week.  He supported single payer health care along side Hillary Clinton as recently as ’08, and I assume up until now.  Just recently he was critical of the Ryan budget and it’s provision for ending medicare with the ridiculously lame notion of absurdly low dollar vouchers for seniors to buy their own health care for not going far enough.  For not being radical enough.  And just two days ago he characterized the same plan as “right wing social engineering”.

I love that that the last position taken by the salamander is absolutely right.  He nailed it.  Gorgeous irony.  He’ll never be taken seriously again because of it.  Stick a white hot fork in his fat, lily white ass.  He told the truth and his buttocks will soon be jerky.  That should tell you everything you need to know about the contemporary Republican party.

All of this mendacious nonsense is a direct result of the Tea Party wing of the GOP.   None of them know whether to shit or go blind.  It’s my definition of good clean fun.  Soon they’ll be offering bridges and swampland for sale at astoundingly discounted rates.  Jackwagons in three pointed hats will line up.  They’ll dance in the streets in an en mass grand mal seizure.

As far as I’m concerned, it all pivots on the Bacon Sundae currently offered by Denney’s.  It’s a metaphor as much as an analogy.  Bacon and ice cream together sounds sublime to me.  I can’t wait to try it.  I keep bugging my girlfriend about it.  But I understand it can’t possibly do me any good beyond instant gratification.  Republicans are dumb.  All of them.  No concept of delayed gratification.

We can only hope Bachmann and Palin put on their running pants.  I mean, we ain’t seen nothing yet if either of these two dingbats start showing up in Iowa.

Ridiculous cartoons will become punchlines before the 2012 election.  The way it shakes out is gonna be more fun than watching dogs play poker or when they go after johns on Cops.  Check me before I wreck me.  The entire Republican party is in more trouble than they have ever been.  The temporary gains from 2010 will be recognized as harbingers of doom before the election even heats up.

I can’t help but wonder if our biggest fear should be the demise these buffoons are getting ready to hand us.  A one party system, because they are clowning their way into obsolescence.      

Anyway, the bottle has changed direction on it’s own and is rocking hips slower but further aside.

Drinks for my friends.

I use this forum for what pisses me off.  I imagine I’m justified in doing so because I know that Americans are consistently guilty of not paying enough attention to what’s really important.  We don’t pay enough attention to bacon for example.  And I rarely discuss love.  I don’t ignore it entirely but I do tend to forsake it here.

See, I’m like the rest of you I hope.  I rail against the world and it’s profound inequities, but I still love fiercely.  I am lucky to have the love of a good woman, family and friends.  They are all good and loving people and it’s their capacity for love that inspires me.  I love and adore my kitties.  My friends are the best I could possibly hope for.  My family is just sublime.  The woman in my life has the kindest eyes and the biggest heart I’ve ever seen.  They all inspire me to do better and to be better.

I’m not sure how I came to be so fortunate.  But I did.  I somehow managed to cultivate relationships with people I’d never met before who eventually came to love me and far more important, I came to love them.  I love my kitties by taking care of them, feeding them and rubbing them and kissing their gorgeous faces and heads.  And I talk to them.   I adore them.  People aren’t much different.  The ones I love I try to kiss their heads and rub on them as often as possible.  And I talk to them.  It’s kinda corny and rather basic I know but it’s how I do it.  They all seem to like it.  If my mother were here I’d kiss her face and rub her feet.  And we would talk.

I welcome the debate about what makes the world go round.  Love or money.  The answer is definitely money.  But the answer really should be love.  It’s a shame it’s not.  It’s what’s wrong with just about everything.  The chasm between the two is absolutely the source of our strife and trouble.  It is where we all fall down.

I’m not here to preach or pontificate some feel good message.  I’m telling you the truth.  The lack of compassion in the world, compassion being the beginning of love, is why we’re so deep in the messes we are.

Necessary logic of the heart neglected and pushed aside.

I can’t begin to describe how my heart fairly bursts when my mother asks me if I have enough clothes for my new job, or how my one cat hollers at me before I put my key in the lock of my shitty little apartment or how my woman rubs me to sleep when I’m balled up and stressed enough to the point where I feel I can’t get enough oxygen.

I do the best I can.  What more can you do on Mother’s day but tell your mom you love her and mean it?  I pick up that cat before I turn on some lights and right after I unlock the door.  I do the best I can to tell and show that woman I love her even though she can’t remember to fill the ice trays.  I think she’s a little crazy and forgets to do it on purpose because she indulges me in every other possible way.

I could be wrong about this, but she’s hot.

So anyway, it’s the deeper part of it.  It’s what competes with it.  What competes with humanity?  What competes with love?

The answer is just about everything.  And that’s the problem that doesn’t seem to have an answer.  There doesn’t seem to be a single answer for everything much less anything.

But there is.

Think about it.  Think hard.  Because there is an answer.

It’s what they meant forty or fifty years ago.  You know, the hippies.

Peace.  Love. Understanding.

Those I love so fiercely should be loved by everyone and I wish I could love everyone else half as fiercely.

Drinks for my friends.

“I’ve never wished a man dead but I have read some obituaries with great pleasure.” -Mark twain

I understand Osama Bin Laden has been introduced to the dirt nap by forces commanded by Barack Hussein Obama.

No question about it, this is pretty big.

Here’s what I’m thinking at this hour.  Who the fuck cares?  It just doesn’t matter.  So it took a decade.  It depends where you are on the whole thing but regardless, who gives a mad fuck?  Yeah, he apparently masterminded  the deaths of over three thousand Americans ten years ago.  The FBI professed it didn’t have enough evidence to put the bastard on a most wanted list.  Dumbya admitted on live television that he didn’t give a mad fuck where he was.

The CIA retired the program that was tasked to pursue and bring him to justice five or six years ago.

Nobody screaming for his head since the last time I visited the 7-11 or the Palestinian consulate.

This is ridiculous.  Watch us earnestly pretend to care for at least a couple few 24 hour news cycles.  The coverage will be breathless and obtuse.  The self righteous will wax jingoistic and ashes to ashes, we’ll all fall down.  This doesn’t have anything to do with anything.  It has been beside the point since you first heard the name.  It simply has nothing at all to do with our current struggles and pales in comparison to the the enemy who would undermine us at every turn in a heartbeat.  That enemy is us.  The war on terror is a colossal joke.  A house of cards.  Really.  More of us die everyday as a result of deregulation and pet dander than because of terrorism.  I’m sick of this shit.

Yeah it sucked but we would have forgotten if not for being constantly reminded.

We lust so passionately for an adversary that isn’t one of us because deep down we understand that we are our own worst enemy.  We are our own worst enemy.  We are sick.  We visit more egregious and disgusting acts on ourselves than any man half a world away without a cell phone or internet access could ever aspire to.  We are the sand in the Vaseline more than any charismatic asshole in a turban could ever hope to be.

I’ve long held Osama Bin Laden to be not only a paper tiger, but a creature of our own device.

Still, I swear I can’t wait to see and hear how the right wing fucktards, in a hypocritical glucose frenzy clamor to take credit or vigorously attempt to disabuse the rest of us of the notion that this is a victory by and of this administration.  It is that at the very least.  Our man Obama has executed this matter with passion and abandon.  He rocked it and I am proud.  He promised and he flat packed the mail.  He delivered on a rather conspicuous promise.  Good for him.  Good for us.

Props to the troops that delivered in a big way.  He was an asshole after all.

But it doesn’t change “the war on terror”.  It doesn’t make our president a hero.  It doesn’t mean anything at all has changed because it was never was an issue to begin with.

You’ll see how it effects exactly nothing and hopefully understand that it never meant shit.  If Bin Laden’s death allows you a more pleasant slumber, then God bless you, you were an idiot to begin with.  It has nothing to do with anything and it never did.

America is not currently enjoying a terrorist threat.  America has never really been threatened legitimately by terrorists.  I’m not entirely sure what happened on that day day ten years ago, but I will tell you that we have been lied to to rather elaborately about it.  We were and are constantly subjected to recombinant rationale and excuse.  I don’t buy it.  It’s crap.  It’s fucked up and not true.  Osama Bin Laden is not now and has never been Captain Chaos.

He’s been a rather convenient distraction for years now.

Kinda like the TSA/airport rules that will never save a human life.

You want a nemesis?  It’s the plutocrats and oligarchs that pretend to defend you by sponsoring legislation that impugns Sharia law like it’s some existential threat to our freedom and way of life.  Like it’s serious business.  Piss up a rope you assholes, seriously.  Call me a cynic but I call bullshit on every last ounce of it.  We like to believe we’re at war with Islam, like that would be less dumb than being at war with Catholicism.  Give me a goddamn break.  It’s all so dangerously stupid and spectacularly beside the point.

I’m confident this dramatic turn is more placebo than panacea.  It’s a feel good movie of the week in the middle of an economic clusterfuck/tornado season/war on the middle class/American identity crisis.  American men are more legitimately concerned about the copious amounts of hair on their backs and the the lack thereof on their heads than they are the life and times of Osama Bin Laden and that actually makes sense to me.  Bin Laden is a symbol, barely a metaphor; he hasn’t mattered since his name was first invoked.  I don’t care and you shouldn’t either.  This ridiculous “war on terror” and what he represents in that “war” is one of the most elaborate punchlines without a joke I’ve ever heard.

So good for us.  Ding Dong the witch is dead.  I’m here to tell you that this will change nothing.  Things won’t get better or worse.  It won’t have anything to do with anything and the real danger facing us all won’t even blink, but it will smile.  It most probably will roll from one ass cheek to the other and fart like a gorilla in a zoo who’s so sick of looking at people like us, he stopped paying attention years ago.

So anyway, did you see the youtube clips from the White House Correspondent’s dinner?  Obama was silver fuselage cool and that Seth Meyers bit was pretty spot on.

Drinks for my friends.

“The dogmas of the quiet past are inadequate to the stormy present. The occasion is piled high with difficulty, and we must rise with the occasion. As our case is new, so we must think anew, and act anew. We must disenthrall ourselves, and then we shall save our country.”
– Lincoln

It’s interesting, what’s happening.  It’s compelling, what’s going on.  The course of human events never ceases.  I can only pretend to understand it.  I admit it has occurred to me what might happen if I could only influence it.  I would wipe the whole world clean as best I could and start over.  I’d do that in my own life if I could.  I’d take notes and save the best parts, of course.

I can tell you that we have a good President, but in the same breath I have to admit it’s not saying much.  I mean the last guy was a douchebag.  The guy before him was pretty cool but he spent a little too much time pissing in the wind.  I think the contrast between Clinton’s rockstardom and Dumbya’s vanishing act is fascinating.  I’m sure that difference speaks volumes about both them and us.  It’s true that Obama has taken on some pretty spectacular opposition and managed to prevail.  It’s also true that he has folded rather spectacularly before the predictable onslaught of that opposition.  I can’t know his mind but I often wonder what he’s thinking.

Is he so so dispassionate and cynical that logic is his only device when choosing his battles?

He’s smart enough that I’m afraid it is.  He is a product of us.  He’s human after all and he’s only as good as the best we have.  Again, that’s not saying much.  Careful what you wish for.  You get what you pay for.  What we have here is a failure to communicate.  It works both ways.  Still, a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.  Pun intended.  We not only wanted change, we lusted after it.  We pined for it.  It was a powerful thing.  I said early on that there was no way America would ever elect a black President with the conspicuously unfortunate name of Barack Hussein Obama.

Yet we did.  It happened.

I was wrong.

And we got what we deserved.  A symbol, now a mascot,  in spite of ourselves.

He’s not a bad man.  I’ve said before I believe him to be earnest and decent.  Very smart.  Very classy, but often frustratingly aloof.  Presidents aren’t kings.  They cannot waive a scepter and mitigate prices at the pump and assholes on both sides are foolish for thinking anything of the kind.  Presidents aren’t kings.  They don’t enter the corridors of power and with a mere gesture and bring ongoing wars to a complete stop.  It’s true the previous dickhead started these wars but there were copious quantities of calendar burning fuckery that preceded that mess.  This economic stew of rot,  horseapples, rusty broth, pepper and cat pee took more than a few years to ferment.  And let’s be honest, Clinton rubbed his dick in everybody’s hair.  His only deserved caveat as President is that we were booming in a way we never had before.

That and he executed executive privilege in the Oval without ennui.

Big Bad Bill was guilty of exuberance and less than discrete swordsmanship.  Forgive my naivete for not believing he was some evil bastard.  Dumbya wasn’t evil either.  His crime was stupidity.

Mr. Obama is us.  Hopes.  Dreams.  Change.  Apathy.  Lethargy.  Cocktails.  Bong rips.

Warts and all.

You are what you eat.

His election was an extraordinarily powerful thing.  We did that.  There is no other word for what happened there but “awesome”.

He is now our cross to bear.  Yet he remains our best hope.  Before you consign to wallow in the piss and moan, take a look in the mirror.  What have you done for anyone or anything else lately?  He is us.  That is and should be the point.  Lunch is never free.  Too many well intentioned progressives are waiting for that free lunch because they took the time to get the “I Voted” sticker in ’08.  Grow the fuck up.  How bad do you want it?

What have you done lately?  Do you know who your congressman is?

Wanna know what really blows my tube?  The opposition, for lack of a better word, are a bunch of goddamn asstards.  They’re idiots.  They have so perfected the mercantilism of fear that they’ve begun to fear ……….fear itself.  They have their own Frankenstein monster and they quiver and petrify in front of it without realizing the beast’s evident demise.  Jackasses.  The GOP is off the cliff and the Tea Party drove the wagons.  Every Democrat/Socialist/Liberal/Tree Hugger/Cat Lover/ dog lover/arugula eater/recycler/Tolkien reading vagina, needs to realize what’s already been done on our behalf.

Fer fuck’s sake, these lascivious lipped cashiers have been loose with the lucre for so long that they have literally created an infectious bacteria among themselves that attacks only them.

They are imploding.  They accuse the President of not leading while they suck even worse at it.  They powered into office on jobs and the economy without ever doing fuck all about either while introducing hundreds of culture war bills about abortion etc.  It is the most profoundly stupid bunch of representatives ever elected in my lifetime by either party.  And that by the way, is saying a lot.  These idiots are the real deal.  They are ignorant and amazingly stupid.

As dumb as they look.

Michigan, Madison, Ohio, Florida,  the Ryan Budget.  Six GOP state senators are facing recall in Wisconsin.  Most of them will go down along with Scott Walker and by then his little dog will be long gone.  Who’s up for a walk in the park?  The asshats are getting pummeled for their preposterous policies by their own people on their own turf.  It is changing.  The divide is narrowing because they have over stepped, over wrought.  Arrogance, avarice and hubris are no longer the paradigm for getting your balls tongued in America.  That shit is over.  The plain folks on both sides see it for what it is.  Class warfare.  The Republican intelligentsia consistently fails to notice.  It’s the coolest fucking thing I’ve ever seen.

This thing could be half over if you people wanted it to be.

Drinks for my friends.

I am, in general, a fan of Barack Hussein Obama.

He’s far from perfect, or some liberal messiah, but I do believe he’s an American citizen and a decent man.  I’m not at all furious about a Muslim darkie that wasn’t born here.  Count me as at least intellectually adroit enough not to give a whistling fart about all that.

I’m just not worried about it and the people that would have you worry about, don’t worry about it at all either.  These people giggle while they jerk the chain of the great unwashed.  They snicker when the issue pollutes any earnest discourse.  Their only mission is to piss on the flat rock of our politics.  They probably care less than we do although they’re definitely motivated more by racism than anything else.

Suspension of disbelief.  The laudable goal of any work of fiction.

I don’t care about the dipshits that seek to make it an issue.  Donald Trump just recently went in all the way up to his hips.  I’m quite sure that anyone in The Donald’s position could do what the Donald does.  He’s no savant, what he is, is an incredibly accomplished blowhard.  I’m confident he’s an opportunistic asshole.  His own hubris has eclipsed any wisdom he may have once had.  No wonder he’s unable to afford any respect for man so much smarter than him.  Donald Trump is a goofecock idiot and I hear he’s never even taken a drink in his life.  Forgive that for being a red flag for yours truly.

You know, he’ll never ever run for president.  His impetus is pure self aggrandizement.  His insipid television show has yet to be renewed so he’s out there prostituting his own absurdity to advance his brand.  He’d wear a red miniskirt and garish makeup, like Rudy Giuliani, if it translated into to ratings or any measurable quantity of attention.  Same class of whore.  His dog is named racism.  His pony is named fear.  Show me a birther and I’ll show you a frustratingly underinformed bigot.

What I wonder is why we even pay attention when the lint on my balls, or the toilet tissue remnants from my ass crack,  threaten to run for president.  Donald Trump is a fucking cartoon of his own device.  So is Ann Coulter and Rush Limbuagh.  Millions of people bother with this shit and I can’t help but wonder why.  You can discover ugly and egregious things about Mike Huckabee and Mitt Romney in a heartbeat but they still suck oxygen from the national discourse.   Are this many of us this fucking stupid?

Yep.

Neither Coulter or Limbaugh or Trump, will ever  bother to run and whether Huckabee or Romney are smart enough to understand it or not, they have no hope of ever being chief executive officer of the United States of America.  They will embarrass themselves and quite a few others in the attempt.  It’s not going to happen.  Conventional wisdom;  GOP gots nobody.  Not one viable candidate for 2012.  It’s a vulgar but comical burlesque.  A carnival waged by and for dystopians.  A cavalcade for dentally challenged, brainfucked losers, miscreants and charlatans.  No one with a chance, despite the naivete and consummate idiocy of so many that walk among us.

Ha!

So what are we doing here?

Lamentably, a big part of it is our own slack jawed fascination with pure but empty spectacle.  It sort of straddles the mentality, and I’ll bet the very ethic and demographic, of great American pastimes from professional wrestling to NASCAR or the NFL.  Pop to hip hop.  MMA to NBA.  Nothing wrong with any of these things unless taken as otherwise directed.

I spend a lot of time contemplating this woefully distorted, obscenely myopic political culture of ours.  From where I sit, it’s tragic that such uniquely American entertainment has so insidiously interloped into our politics and sensibilities.  A disenfranchised populace has embraced hero worship to the extent that a penchant for naked , unquestioning idolatry, deliberately, and with an eye towards bling, misinforms our zeitgeist so thoroughly.  Underestimate it’s impact, the cancerous influence thereof and the damage it does at your peril.  Just last week, Dodger fans beat a Giants fan so viciously he exists in a medically induced coma as of this writing.  The contemporary culture war currently waged manifests in the murder of abortion providers, demonizes teachers, police and firefighters.  Some asshole burns the Quran, resulting in dozens of innocent deaths.  Such ethics seek to and succeed as dangerous and often lethal catalyst for jingoism and nationalism, xenophobia and ignorance so profound as to be cause for celebration.

It’s arduously frustrating bullshit masquerading as American exceptionalism.  There is no moral symmetry here.

What I’m trying to tell you is that you should beware of anything the knuckle draggers get so excited about.  Like Donald Trump, Michele Bachmann or Islamophobia.  All these things are just like the other in that they deliberately and recklessly foment hatred.

Beware of any political party, elected official or candidate that seeks to vilify teachers, cops, firemen because of their unions.  When they try to tell you that’s why we’re broke, they are lying.  They are fucking lying.  We are not broke.  There is plenty of money.  It’s just that we outspend every other nation on earth by a ratio of ten to one on the ability to kill people who piss us off.  A trillion dollars a year on “defense”, more intelligently known as the military industrial complex.  We incarcerate more people per capita than any nation on earth.  GE is the largest corporation in America and they don’t pay a dime in taxes.  In fact, they got 1.8 billion in tax credits last year.  Exxon is the most successful company in the history of humankind and they didn’t pay any taxes last year but received billions in subsidies.

Anyone reading this realistically paid more actual money in taxes than the largest and subsequently most profitable businesses ever on earth.

How do you like them now?

Anymore questions about where the money is, where it goes, who has it and who doesn’t?

We’re so intellectually bereft when it comes to the word socialism that we look past the fact that we now privatize profits and socialize debt.  That social security, medicare and medicaid, despite flaws engineered by greedy politicians are incredibly successful  and popular programs.  That they are indeed socialism and that they aren’t the reason for our deficit.

Beware when any political party endeavors to execute the same against any specific religious faith except maybe Scientology.  Forgive me here, they’re all whacky but to exclude them is hypocritically weak.

Beware whenever the goddamn Republicans impugn a particular ideology.  They don’t fear it.  It’s merely a tool to elevate your fear.

As a result of our apathy and lethargy in the last election cycle, there’s a whole new blistering crop of governors engaged in raping the middle class.  They slash and burn education, social programs and opportunity for the have nots by bellowing that they are the problem when the truth is those monies are proven by study after study to be efficaciously spent and represent an infinitesimal portion of the fiscal problem that is not really a fiscal problem.  For every dollar spent on unemployment benefits, 1.6 six dollars comes right back, immediately into the economy.  Investment in education is far less instantly gratifying but way more important for our long term prosperity.

If you didn’t know this, trust me when I tell you they do.  They get it.  They are acutely aware.

It’s all a distraction while they wage the most vicious campaign of class warfare since anyone reading this got a crack on the ass from a doctor to get their lungs working.

Understand that they aren’t stupid or misguided.  They want to handicap all these things because they don’t share the average American’s vision.  They shudder at the thought of a car in every garage, a chicken in every pot.  They don’t want for us to succeed or even compete as the most powerful nation on earth ever again.  As far as they’re concerned, the rise of our middle class was errant, aberrant and a huge mistake.  What they want is to marginalize as many of us as they can so they can maximize profits by forcing us to join the lowest common economic denominators of the rest of the hemisphere  so we rapidly devolve into a third world economy.

It’s why they wake up every morning with wood.

The Tea party, so recklessly adept at jerking the entire GOP so far to the right,  will be marginalized soon partly because not a single serious thinker gives a mad fuck about The Donald, The Birthers or the Tea Bags.  We’re actually done here.  Trump was the last nail in the coffin because nobody serious takes him or is hair seriously.  Let’s move on.

Really.  The Republicans can’t deal with anything but lockstep and baggers are a serious bummer when it comes to all that.  But I digress.

Yeah, I know Obama just caved on Gitmo.  It really chaps my ass.  This budget fight is a regoddamndiculous circus with every Democratic capitulation being met with Republicans pushing the goal post further back.  Deep water drilling goes on.   Ours wars show little sign of waning and even less reason or efficacy.  Really hard to watch them herding cat’s so disastrously.

But I have hope and reason to believe we have taken the fork too often less traveled in recent times away from such nonsense as evidenced by the actions of the people in various mid-western states in opposition to the overt power grabs being attempted by Republican legislators and executives in those states.  My hope and proof is in the groundswell occurring in those states.  Recall signatures are piling up precipitously, with or without mainstream media attention.

I do believe the fuckery in the middle east, I mean the mid-west, is sobering evidence that a sleeping giant has stopped swiping at the snooze button and begun to wipe the eye boogers away.  It is a very powerful force and fear is an amazing force multiplier.  So is anger and people are getting pretty pissed.  Change is coming from the only place it can, the bottom.  The people.

We cannot afford to wait for 2012 to hold Democrats or Republicans accountable.  Every elected official in this country needs to feel the hot breath of ferociously frustrated and fed up constituents.  The Tea Party is a joke, we can deliver the punch line by showing them just what a grassroots movement looks like and what it can accomplish.

Drinks for my friends.

You know something?

Marijuana is less dangerous than chocolate.

Think about it.

Chocolate can kill your dog.

Last week, the feds raided, confiscated and shut down two medical marijuana dispensaries here in West Hollywood California.  They did the same to some 26 similar establishments in the state of Montana.  Dispensaries and growers.  No arrests, no charges, just big, armed dick, officious intimidation and humiliation.  I’ve been to and patronized one of those West Hollywood dispensaries and I’m here to tell you they were as careful and thorough as as any I’ve ever visited.

Why?

Shut up before you even attempt the “gateway drug” or “physically addicting” contretemps.  Forgive me but that shit is silly.  There are zero legitimate studies to prove anything remotely resembling as much and a cornucopia for the contrary.  No one has ever died from smoking pot.  No one has overdosed on it.

But enough chocolate will kill your dog.

Besides, both states allow for it’s legal cultivation, distribution and sale.  The insult to injury as well as established industry lies in the pledge by the Obama administration Attorney General, one Eric Holder, ostensibly at the behest of POTUS himself, to not pursue the purveyors of medicinal marijuana any longer in the states where it was approved by vote of the citizens thereof.

So, why?

You’ll have to bear with me, because although the answer is short, the story is long.

Once upon a time, there was oil and paper and Dupont.  Dupont was mad at hemp because it still made better ropes for the navy than the newly invented nylon.  Then Rockefeller and Hearst got mad too.  They were all mad at hemp because it did each of the things they specialized in better than they did so they made it illegal.  They made cannabis illegal too because black men were encouraged to have their way with white women after smoking it in the form of a reefer and it was an obvious and convenient way to demonize both.   They made both the same thing.  It was a pretty good strategy in light of our relative sophistication at the time.  The great unwashed ate it up.  Then Dick Nixon had has his way by making it a schedule one narcotic and creating the DEA so he could persecute and prosecute the peace loving, antiwar hippies he was so desperately afraid of and here we are.

Told you it was a long story.

The answer is greed and it still is.

Look, what’s going on here is this:  There is no goddamn way the government is going to relinquish control over an industry as lucrative as this.  Certainly not to a bunch of independent thinking entrepreneurs as opposed to the historically complicit corporations they’ve been doing business with for a century or more.  It really is that simple.  There, I said it.  That’s what’s happening.

We just bombed the shit out of Libya.  We’ve been bombing the shit out of people for fifty years to protect the interests of our government and it’s corporations or corporations and our government.  They understand the genie is out of the bottle and they are absolutely committed to tipping at it until those trusted corporations can usurp control of  a commodity so remunerative, that were it fall into the hands of regular Americans, the middle class would have a fighting chance at reestablishing itself and the plutocrats and oligarchs would face the most serious run for their money they’ve seen in decades.  In many ways they are as anxious for it to be completely legal as we are.  But they will trample their own pudenda to see it implemented, regulated and controlled to their benefit, not ours.  Not yours, not mine.

Free market my ass.

Think about it.

In the meantime we bathe in oil and the plastics and textiles that come from it and we waste more paper, plastics and textiles than we used to actually use.  We are at the nadir of our chemical romance renaissance, both pharmacologically and otherwise ridiculously.  All of it can and should be replaced with congruent to superior products made from hemp.  Hemp, at worst an environmentally neutral, renewable resource and arguably the most versatile and efficacious plant known to humankind, does all of it better and cheaper than the prevailing model and the average farmer could, would and should make a killing from growing it.  Hemp makes cotton look Fischer Price.  Local economies would be empowered.  Innovation would transpire.  Manufacturing would spontaneously combust as a result of suddenly being able to make stuff we use and need in our own backyards.

Talk about a revolution……

So see it’s not just the pot.  In fact it’s barely the pot except where big pharma rears it’s ugly head.  It’s the hemp.  Old Republican lizard brains agree with the younger more moderate reptiles.  It’s too profitable and therefore dangerous to fall into the hands of mere mammals.

Following the money indefatigably leads to the big picture.  Now you understand what they are so afraid of.  The federal government doesn’t give a shit if you get high.  Trust me, they’d prefer you’re impaired.  They damn sure don’t give a mad fuck for your safety.  They only care about seat belts and airbags because it’s good for insurance companies.  They only require helmets and  limit second hand smoke because it’s good for insurance companies.  The government doesn’t care how long you live.  They just want you to die as cheaply as possible.  If your disease is of a protracted nature, they’d be happier if you’re not insured.  They just want to control you.  They just want you to die with as little residual burden as possible.

We can talk about the drug war and it’s egregious cost and absolute, comprehensive, systemic failure.  Our behemoth prison system where we literally incarcerate more people per capita than any other state or nation on earth, or the fact that we outspend every other country combined on our ability to make war and kill everyone we disagree with.  And I’m happy to point out that the rich keep getting richer as a result, while the poor keep getting poorer.  The concentration of wealth in this country has never been so severe as it is now.  The gap never so wide.  Far less than one percent now own half of us.  Think about that.  Four hundred individuals own half of everything we are and have.  Shut up, stop your brain and think about that one, sobering, fact.

In light of all this, does the notion that they seek to control medical marijuana surprise you at all?  This isn’t about pot.  This isn’t about you’re ability to get high or avail yourself of medicine that just might mitigate your condition.

The forest hates the trees.

I bet it’s easier to actually consume enough chocolate to kill yourself  than it is to smoke enough pot for the same result.  This is absurd.  It’s goddamn ridiculous.

Who’s your daddy?

“The arc of the moral universe is long but it bends towards justice.” -MLK

Drinks for my friends.

You can always hire half the poor to kill the other half. I didn’t think of that but I wish so bad I did that reading it fills me with shame and regret.

Michigan.

What we stare at.  Fascist.  Dictatorial.

Legislation peristaltically forced down the the throat and through the bowels of the body politic.  Laws.  Laws that provide for the Governor of Michigan, after slashing budgets malignantly, to allow him to declare a state of financial emergency wherever he has burned crops.  Laws.  Legislation that then empowers him upon declaring a state of financial emergency, to strip that slashed and burned township of it’s democratically elected officials and cancel all of it’s contracts.  The legal right to fire any and all persons elected by the people and piss all over any contract entered into via the will of the people.  A law that would then enable him to literally replace those elected officials with non-elected appointees.

The potential to take over every city government in the state of Libya….I mean Michigan.  Financial marshal law.

This after he’s proposed $1.2 billion in budget cuts to local governments and schools and $1.8 billion in tax cuts to corporations.  Do the math.  We don’t need a mathematician here, a third grader with a solar powered calculator will do.  Said third grader will point to an obvious and impending financial crisis while fascist plutocrats will drool and clasp their hands with triumphant glee over the frilly drool bibs they’ve affected since before the Gipper first shat himself in the White House.

Forgive me, this happens all the time but I can’t recall there ever being a law for it.  Plenty of laws against it.  But never for it.    Pantheonic.   Deviously comprehensive.  Help me out here; where is this unconstitutional in light of state’s rights and all?  Is there a lawyer in the house?  No hacks please, we need a good one.

It is cruel and unusual.

His name is Dick Snyder.

I think of him as Snyderdick.

I need for you to see a pattern here.

Work with me.  I’m not the first to point it out but it bears repeating.  We are not broke.  We need to get our fiscal house in order but we aren’t poor.  America (ns), have plenty of money.  We have the largest ever gap between the haves and the have nots, however.  That gap gained breadth enough to surpass third world countries under the previous Dick-in-Bush administration.  It’s no accident.  Trust me.  Again, this shit goes on all the time but it’s never actually been legal.  Until now it all fell under the general malaise known as Reaganomics or trickle down/supply side economics.  In other words, the redistribution of wealth in the opposite direction that so many mouth breathing conservative, pee farty hatriot, fucktardian zombies rail against, absent logic or even common sense.

These guys are dicks.

Now they seek to accelerate the process.  To seal the deal.  To make it even more impossible to beat them back.  We are witnessing and experiencing the dry desert  blowback from the 2010 national election.  Reaping what’s sown.  Immediate consequences for knee jerk stupidity.

Union busting.  Financial dominance.  Concentration of wealth.  Culture war.  Disinformation.  Class warfare.  Stoking the racial and gender divide.  There are millions of long toothed fuckers hacking away with pick axes at what we still take for granted and most of them know not what they do.  Minions.  Tools.  The Republican elite cultivating the idea of not having as much as a Barbie crotch is in control and they bellow and beseech about the opposite but they’re all in when it comes to the government dictating your every move.  What you use your dick for.  Where you put it.  Who gets to see it.  They don’t need your consent to talk to your mother.

They do this by exaggerating an economic crisis of their own devise.  I’m not saying we’re not in trouble, I’m just pointing out that it’s their fault and now they’re bashing us over the goddamn head with it.  They’re looking to mitigate it on our dime but they’re not so stupid as to have it be as bad as they paint it.  These fuckers have more than enough to make it okay.  But they understand it would be painful.  Not excruciating.  More like a prick of the finger for a small class of people who are accustomed to having their pricks fingered.

See?  Patterns.

“This is about a lot of things. This is not about a budget. This is using or fabricating crisis to push for an agenda you’d never be able to sell under normal circumstances, and so you have to convince everyone that these are not normal circumstances. These are desperate circumstances and your desperate measures are there for somehow required. What this is has a name. It is called shock doctrine.” -Rachel Maddow

They would have you believe that the other 98% is in favor of a class war when it is the very battle they march to every day, in every way, relentlessly, without acknowledging it, while consistently blaming it on everyone else.

They figured out a long time ago the power of blaming the opposition for their own crimes.  They embrace hypocrisy with a huge hug as lascivious as a pasty aging pedophile would.

Simultaneously, they get all self righteously puffy over a much meatier hand in government.  Even on the local level.  Despite what they shout from the rooftops about the size of government.

They accuse average Americans of what they know they are profoundly guilty of, while bulldozing everything they say they stand for.

See the pattern?

Rome is burning.

Republicans campaign against arsonists.  Republicans love to play with matches.  Republicans hate firefighters.

Fucking Republicans.

Drinks for my friends.

It’s all building up to something.

I’ve landed three butts on the target windowsill 25 feet across the way.  Three perfect arcs. 25 feet.  I am pleased.   I’m not sure my life has become perceptibly better but I feel it coming on.  I’m all gleeful with the obvious pregnant portent.  We got fat, hot, greasy corn dogs with plastic pillows of cheap mustard and flat Coca Colas in sweaty waxy cups without enough ice.  I taste sauteed mushrooms in an exotic sauce.

I imagine fields of green.  Caviar.  A nice blanc de blanc.

You think the people of Wisconsin suffered defeat today?  Think again.  Republican greed driven fuckery has reached critical mass and opposition to it is about to spill over.  The most salient observation here is that Wisconsin state Republicans have completely surrendered the notion that this issue is fiscal, at least not in the context we’ve been led to believe and understand.  Fiscal for us as opposed to fiscal for them.  Some of us already knew that but they just painted faces with it.  The unions have already conceded virtually every issue that has anything to do with money.  The fight is over the ability to bargain as a group.  A force.  An equal and opposing force.  See, unions represent the last and only bulkhead with campaign cash enough to counter lubricate the fat arrogant chili meat and grease shitting corporations.  I don’t doubt the union pile isn’t a little filthy.  I swear to Dog the plutocrats have and can afford entire teams for toilet bowl maintenance.  Bet they wear hazmat suits and otherwise drink tea in the breakfast nook.

Anyway, yeah.  Scott Walker’s eyes are too close together.  That always bothers me.  His approval rating has tanked enough for his haters to spark up stogies.  Close enough for a cigar.  He went too far.  I have to tell you I’m not entirely sure what will happen here.  So what I’m gonna do is tell you what I hope will happen.

1) Al Franken shows up and wrestles Scott Walker face down onto the capitol steps.  It’s a violent and vulgar display of physical prowess and domination.  In the movie AIRPLANE! someone asked for a little lite reading and was rewarded with a pamphlet on famous Jewish athletes.  Al Franken was listed.  Bloody and humiliating for any American male who doesn’t know how to fight.  Conservatives will bray about invented homoerotic aspects and call for Franken’s death by stoning.  Franken will respond by getting the Nobel prize for something and become a UFC champion.

2) The people storm the gates of the palace.  Count on this.  I am.  I want them to bring as many faggots as possible, you know, torches.  C’mon, make your gay friends come.  Solidarity!

3) The entire country wakes up and realizes what’s at stake.                                                                                                             Uh, I gotta default to the people aren’t stupid they just don’t pay attention theory.  I think this is a beginning.  It sure as hell isn’t an end. There’s a fine line between resolve and willful ignorance.  As dumb as they are, they don’t lack discipline.  We on the other hand while still a mess, aren’t stupid and are starting to make herding cats seem possible. 

4) Since the wealthiest country in the world spends almost half what the entire world does on the ability to kill shitloads of people, we finally get free boxes and bottles of every food product with high fructose corn syrup listed as a top ten ingredient.  From cereal to soda we are covered.  It’s the Republican New Deal.  Pay no mind to those ordinances, they’ll be dumping sewage in a neighborhood near you.  You might as well feel free.  It’s all going to shit, that’s the style.

5) Michelle Obama, undeterred by withering criticism, dons a cape and a skin tight super hero outfit to fight for nutrition and labor issues.  She wears thigh high boots and her costume is kind of a corset.

6) I want Andrew Dice Clay to be the new spokeshole for the goofcock Republicans and their Governor in Wisconsin.  No shit Dice can play an excellent villain.  I’m not gonna wax poetic about his range but he could play Walker.  Picture it.  Seriously, he’d be so fucking perfect.  He’d have to get svelt.  If he still has hair, let him keep it.  Imagine Dice as Cheney.  Now that he’s older.  I’m getting excited.  Have to shave him for that.  I’ve never written a script but I have the vehicle for the Diceman.  Anybody have his number?

This guy Scott Walker is a punk, a patsy and a fucking puppet who has everything but the best interest of the people who elected him at heart.  As far as I’m concerned, teachers should be paid better than sociopath     avaricious CEOs.  What they do is far more important.  No fat cat plutocratic piece of shit ever inspired me at all, much less to the degree that my own public school teachers did.  You wanna talk about a lazy, tit hogging worthless class?  Let’s talk about politicians and the people who buy them to monopolize and manipulate hardworking Americans.

This ain’t over.  They’ve done themselves a lethal disservice and perhaps finally gone too goddamn far.  This is fucking sick.  Every reason Wisconsin Republicants and those in every other state for that matter, give for doing this is an absolute shameless and hypocritical lie.  We might be broke but it’s not nearly as bad as they would have us believe and I guarantee it’s nowhere near our fault.  When I call my mother this week and we inevitably land on this subject, she will say “Fucking Republicans”.  The ONLY time my mother ever uses that word.

We are having this debate while a mere 400 of them own more than half what over 150 million of us regular citizens do.  By far the largest income gap in our history.  While our elected leaders solicit and implore  us 150 million to sacrifice more, again and again.  While they try to tell us that our modest, middle class income is the reason for our current crisis and impending demise.  While they cut social programs and threaten social  security, medicare and medicaid without altering by one cent the $50 billion in subsidies to energy and oil, the most profitable business in the history of mankind.  The trillion a year or so we hurl at “defense”.

Any logical, sane person from any other era in our planet’s history would have no trouble deciding that Americans are probably among the largest group of chumps ever.  It’s tragically authentic.  Embarrassingly and empirically valid.  Woe is us.

We are still a nation of one person one vote.  There are even efforts to mutilate that but let’s table that for tomorrow.  I’m awed and inspired by the citizens of Wisconsin, Michigan, Ohio and Indiana.  We are at a tipping point.  It is time for every single American to put on those comfortable shoes to march.  To remember the pen can be mightier than the sword of multinational conglomerates.  One person, one vote.  Now or never or I promise you, one person one vote will go the way of the dodo.  They would love nothing more.  What do you think they’re doing now?  These bastards have goals, they have an agenda.

Drinks for my friends.