Archive for the ‘Iraq’ Category

I doubt there’s another human being on the planet that could merely announce he would be there and have two hundred thousand Germans Show up in Berlin to hear what he has to say.

They can say he’s presumptuous. They’re saying it. Speaking like a President who is not yet a President. Looking like a President who is not yet President. Acting like a President.

Fuck them.

He is kicking ass worldwide. Understand, no way he could pull this off if he wasn’t whip smart, savvy and wise beyond wise. Our Man Has long held the official Brainspank Presidential endorsement but I’m here to tell you he’s over there making America proud with grace and dignity.

I hear he wasn’t sure how many he could draw in Germany. Can you imagine at all what it felt like taking the stage in front of two hundred thousand?

His speech was brilliant. Almost spooky to hear how far his voice was carried by successive amplified towers.

He’s in France tomorrow. That might be good.

I understand he’s not perfect. It’s been but a few weeks since I’ve written both angry and critical of him.

Having said that, the rest is true, he may very well be our last best hope. The best chance we have against my generation being second or third to last. Not because of war. But because of a lack of understanding that requires global participation when it comes to solving global problems. Enviromental problems. Poverty and waste. Fucking war.

Forgive my John Lennon moment.

I hear Doubtfire was at some burger stand or taco shack somewhere in the Midwest today. He may have told a joke.

All three network news anchors follow Our Man as he gets the Iraqi Prime Minister to endorse his plan for troop withdrawl.

If you’re McCain today, stepping out of the shower, what do you see when you look down? A dangling filbert, scarcely bigger than a clitoris.

You flick it for sport but the pod itself remains inert. This disappoints you but you weren’t anticipating a different result.

Woe is you John McCain.

I’m not sure how bad I can feel after your statement that Our Man would prefer to win an election at the expense of losing a war. That kind of talk makes you a punk ass bitch.

Where is your vanity? Your dignity?

You’re going to lose, your best option is to do it with a modicum of sincere decorum.

Mr. McCain, I believe you should grow now. Show us you understand just how bad things are and how bad they are about to be. Start telling the fucking truth. Participate and stop worrying whether you’ll be elected because it’s not going to happen. You know the truth. There was a time when you championed the truth. It is the only reason you enjoy any popularity today.

Tax cuts for the rich and an endless war in Iraq when our biggest problem is Afghanistan. Are you paying any attention at all? America is imploding you ignorant fuck and the best you can do is say shit like that? Fer fuck’s sake, who actually is more about the winning than the people?

More nuclear power when we still don’t have a clue what to do with waste that could kill millions. Offshore drilling that wouldn’t impact the price of gas for a decade. Phil Gramm, your top man on the economy, calls us a nation of whiners with delusions of a mental recession.

Fuck you you fuck, gas is near five bucks a gallon and foreclosures rival The Great Depression. They called it that, by the way, cause it sucked.

Yer a dick.

Drinks for my friends.

The talking heads have coalesced on how to frame Our Man’s travels abroad.

Roaring success with a foreign policy/national security bump vs. overstepping his station. His place. Gergen was bellowing this crap tonight on CNN.

Looks to me to be establishing relationships so he can hit the ground running once he’s elected. They complain he’s so bold as to do the President’s job, yet the President remains both unwilling and incapable.

Forgive me, uppity?

Yup, it is. Big balls on Our Man. I’m impressed. Fucking A.

It is chronic, this adolescent navel gazing the media succumbs to. They pretend to ask themselves whether they talk too much about Our Man, while they talk even more about him, so Senator Doubtfire gets the short end of spotlight stick.

You can imagine, this conundrum doesn’t much try my patience.

I’m sponsoring the widely held elitist view that McCain is boring at best; doddering at not so best. He’s fucking creepy. Obama is way better television and he’s kicking ass over there. Got an official agreement on troop withdrawl from Iraq PM, Nouri al-Maliki. Looked very presidential with Hamid Karzai. He drained one from outside the paint on some army base.

Obama Don’t Bowl!
Obama drains balls?

Obama Don’t Bowl, in white on a good quality navy tee. I saw Stewart did his show on this tonight but by then I had the sound off. If he did something similiar, chalk it up to great minds thinking alike. I avoid Sir Jon when I’m writing politics.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch.

As direct consequence of such shallow introspection, the media is poised to manufacture the slightest gaff by Obama into a Cat Five Vortex complete with flying cows that are shitting because they’re not used to flying. A shitstorm far beyond flying shitting cows.

No need to keep an eye out. It will hit you on the head over and over when it happens.

They had to do something. They’ve been caught red handed paying more attention to the more interesting, dynamic guy that just happens to be bowling them over, pun intended, in a good part of the rest of the world.

Whaddaya want fer nuthin? A rubber biscuit?

Today I purchased my first Southern Style Crispy Chicken Sandwich from Don’s place. The product has been sitting on my granite countertop since aprox. 3:20 PST. It is now about 9:45 PST and I’ve just taken my second bite.

It’s a good sugar to salt ratio. Kinda the bun in contrast to the meat postulate observed as key to most food products on the menu at Don’s place. Ever notice the powderiness of the salt they give you? Genius. Granules far better suited to adhere to your fries than ordinary table salt.

Wendy’s does this as well.

It was the random pickle chip protruding from underneath the bun in the TV ad that first got my attention. The way the sandwich rotated with golden culinary symmetry. Immaculately interrupted by that jagged corrugated fleshy green pickle chip………………….

It left me wistful but secure in the knowledge that someday I would purchase one for my very own to taste, savor and rejoice in.

I’m gonna have another bite and refrigerate it for the next round of tests.

I think pickles are a boon to fast food products of all kinds and should be exploited more. Compared to cheap ass mayonnaise and flavorless lettuce and tomatos, pickles are a zesty bold flavor and a real crunch enhancer. Provided they aren’t punk ass, chewy, vinegary cucumbers.

When I buy pickles I look for some dill and peppercorns in the jar at least.

So anyway, the texture is good, even after six unrefrigerated hours on my countertop. This does belie a certain structural integrity on the part of the sanwich. A good sign. I’ve no idea why they included the word “southern” in the title of the product other than perhaps the patty is chicken and of the fried variety.

My conclusion is that although tasty and gut satisfying, this new menu item at Don’s could use something more. More onions, more pickles perhaps. Mine had but two, barely larger than a quarter. It could use more committment on the part of the skilled and talented chef’s and their underlings.

I’m just saying, dress that product thoroughly. It’s new! Aren’t you excited to be making a new sandwich?

I can’t help but wonder if it isn’t a little premature. Not done yet basking beneath the flavor enhancing glow of the brighest, yellowest fast food arches in the universe.

It’s future as a menu item remains uncertain.

Tips: Order it with cheese for texture and a little whang. Remember, if you get fries, get some of Don’s salt. I don’t usually drink soda, but when I eat at Don’s, I has me some soda. I’m about the carbonation and not the sugar, so I order diet, but indulge in the bubbles, whatever kind blows your skirt up.

I’ve just now taken a bite of the below room temperature product. It’s really horrible in it’s gelatinous state.

Last test is to nuke the remaining bite and a half…………..

Drinks for my friends.

Various sources.

America closes in on one million foreclosures.

Indymac is the third largest carp in our country’s history to reveal it’s pale belly in the polluted waters of American finance.

Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac in trouble and needing a federal bailout they will get. Two companies responsible for over half the mortgage debt in this country. Five trillion dollars.

Lists of vulnerable banks contain as many a hundred and fifty. Google the Texas ratio. At what point does the FDIC become FEMA?

Two million refugees from Darfur and and four hundred thousand slaughtered. Twenty first century genocide. A half a billion in aid a year from the US as opposed to to ten billion a month we spend in Iraq. Bin Laden used to live there so we favor their government with a blind eye because they occasionally share what kind of underwear he wears, his favorite Starburst flavor and pictures of his enormous horse package.

Over four thousand dead and thirty thousand horrifically wounded Americans by Iraq. Some estimates put Iraqi dead at over a million with some four million refugees. Meanwhile, we’ve blown the entire place apart.

National debt approaches ten trillion dollars. We had an actual surplus eight years ago.

A trade deficit approaching four hundred billion a year.

Nearly fifty million uninsured.

The Earth’s filthy nectar, which literally fuels everything we do, is imported by more than seventy percent. The price of that dirty ambrosia has risen nearly four hundred percent in the last seven years.

In America, the rich continue to get richer and the poor continue to plunge.

There’s a seventy five percent chance the icecap at at the earth’s north pole will be gone within the next three years.

Twelve percent of the electorate still believes Our Man Obama is a Muslim. Over seventy percent who voted for Dumbya in ’04 still believed Saddam Hussein was responsible for the events of 9/11.

“Most people are dumber than dirt.” -My Father

“The best country in the history of the world, and we’re going to fuck it up.” – My Mother

The stock market has been on a well oiled slide for a while now. One of it’s nipples went turgid last week because oil dropped three days in a row. First time in seventeen years. It’s because speculators knew we were gonna talk to Iran. They hoped we’d make nice. It’s a wash so far. We’ll see.

I encourage the stupid people to hold their breath.

I’m thinking it’s time to stock up. Get myself a gun.

I just jacked the sound on the local news. A story on corn ethanol. I’m not kidding when I tell you that a cutaway shot showed cars travelling backwards. If we go nuclear and corn ethanol, I think we should store all the nuke waste at corn ethanol stations.

Stupid fucks.

Forgive my pessimism. If you look at the numbers………..

My point is this. The Evil Empire is not looking at the same numbers we are. If they were, they’d pay attention and do something, like come up with better explanations for not giving a mad fuck.

Drinks for my friends.

Yesterday we learned Dick-in-Bush would be sending one of it’s “most senior diplomats” to Switzerland to meet with Iran’s top nuclear official.

Today we learned of the Pentagon’s intention to shift troops from Iraq to Afghanistan earlier and more precipitously than anticipated or forecast. They told us everything was fine………

Tonight, Rush (the band) appears on the Colbert Report.

It is America’s smartest day in over seven years. It’s not saying much but I had to mention it.

Dumbya has broken with stated, fucking shouted, obdurate policy.

Oil went down for the second day in a row, further than it has in seventeen years. The NYSE rallied after having it’s ass handed to it for month after hemorrhage after month after hemorrhage. The Bear is back.

There is some idea that as a result of conservation, demand is down so oil speculation is down. Were that the truth, I’d be encouraged. I’m not saying it’s not possible, it’s just not happening yet.

Really, wouldn’t that be cool? A collective effort on part of the American citizenry having a global effect? Yes, that would be cool. It would be empowering.

Forgive me but that’s not what’s happened. Exercises in the Gulf weren’t doing the trick. More missiles should have been photoshopped I guess.

Us sending a diplomat to Switzerland is what happened.

It wouldn’t hurt at all for us to conserve and I don’t doubt that it could have a profound impact on the global economy. The onus is on us as the preeminent species to manage air, food, water and fire anyway. It’s an ecological mandate.

Unfortunately, the entire planet seems to be in an ugly state of nationalism. It’s almost as insidious as religion. It’s as though we seek to define ourselves by our differences while there aren’t so many when compared to our commonalities.

I’m here to tell you that if we don’t start thinking as a people, as opposed to American or Mexican or Catholic or Jew or Muslim or Arab, we will be responsible for our own extinction. It is inevitable. The only guarantee of survival is compassionate cooperation among all people.

We’re such assholes. That’s never gonna happen. Oh well, sorry I brought it up.

Did you know that it takes about two and a half bottles of water to manufacture the bottle you’re drinking water from? Did you know that fuel from corn is one of humakind’s stupidest ideas? Did you know that “bowtie” or “farfalla” pasta is the champion pasta shape for more delicate sauces? It works with gravies of medium density as well. Farfalla means butterflies in Italian. Make sure you use butter and capers.

If it were me instead of Obama, I’d have a tough time sleeping in the same room Dumbya had for eight years. Poor bastard.

Drinks for my friends.

It’s fucking awesome.

Know why? It fearlessly shines with the candlepower of our sun on the willfull ignorance and idiocy of far too many ‘Mericans. Three syllables is all these dipshits can manage.

Could this be collusion with Our Man’s campaign? Is there a potential boost with this most deliberate dust up? That would be cool. I like that they gave Michelle an afro and a gun. She’s kinda hot.

They did it by betting Americans are stupid and/or indignant. From here it appears to be a pretty good bet.

“Baracknaphobia” is what Jon Stewart would call it..

A cavalcade of morons paraded across my television screen during the latest news cycle. All actually feigning confusion, or sincerely confused by the cover cartoon. The same way the media covers a shooting in South Central, by finding the most gap toothed black person. Except, these were white people with nice teeth.

Sheezus, what the fuck is going on here?

It’s like the media has decided that you don’t have to be ‘ethnic’ to be stooopid.

Our man handled it like a professional wine taster from Alcoholics Anonymous. He noted it had gone bad, spit it out and moved on.

“It’s a cartoon … and that’s why we’ve got the First Amendment,” Obama said. “And I think the American people are probably spending a little more time worrying about what’s happening with the banking system and the housing market, and what’s happening in Iraq and Afghanistan, than a cartoon. So I haven’t spent a lot of time thinking about it.”

“I’ve seen and heard worse,” he said. “I do think that in attempting to satirize something, they probably fueled some misconceptions about me instead. But that was their editorial judgment.” -CNN

The best comedy is always honest. So is the best satire. This is, without a doubt brutal a brutal example, but we are served by it. There is honesty to be had here.

Graphically, it defines the mindset and imagination of far too many of us in a time when we should have moved past
this shallow nonsense. We’re only a few hundred years old as a country, not a good enough reason to be as callow and stubborn as we still are.

In many ways, we’ve been walking backwards for a time.

The talking heads keep barking that America doesn’t know Obama yet. Where the hell have you people been? He’s been running for President for two fucking years. I hope the media is wrong on this one, the idea scares me more than the terrorists.

Arianna wrote a cool piece today on the mistake by the media for viewing Barack through a prism of liberal vs. conservative ideaology. I need to point out that Americans make the mistake of looking at the world through a lense of Muslim vs. Christian. Us vs. Them. Our God is better and more righteous than theirs, so Our God must kill theirs or at least we should kill all of them. We reserve the right to use nuclear weapons to accomplish any end resembling what we’ve just described…………

Note that many of these folks only show up on a meter that reads from hypocrite to sociopath.

“I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together.
See how they run like pigs from a gun, see how they fly.
I’m crying.” -I Am The Walrus, The Beatles

“But we’re never gonna survive, unless…
We get a little crazy” -Seal

Seven thousand foreclosures a day while we spend half a million a minute in Iraq. In the same way we can’t pay for those houses, we can’t pay for this war. Do not adjust your set. This is the fucked up truth.

Drinks for my friends.

The progressive blogosphere is ablaze today with speculation and outright dismay over Our Man Obama’s shuffle to the middle. The conventional wisdom is that it’s bad form and smacks of pandering to a demographic that had little to do with his nomination.

I wish I could disagree. I can’t. Thus far I can only manage disappointed, disillusioned and frustrated.

Our Man needs to take a breath and re-examine hisself. The man who’s gotten this far and why. He was different, brave and sincere. We believed him. We were inspired because he was exactly what we wanted. He’s what we desperately needed.

I nearly wept on March 18, as Our Man was expected to deliver a mea culpa over the Reverend Wright conflagration, but instead delivered the most courageous, eloquent, powerful and intellectually honest treatise on race I’ve ever witnessed in my life. That man touched my heart and appealed profoundly to my sensibilities.

The man I imagined as leader of my country.

The man who dismissed a suspension of the gas tax for what it was; a gimmick. The man who pronounced the war a mistake before we began it. Than man who didn’t break a sweat as he assumed the role of David against the Goliath that was the Clinton machine. The man who packed stadiums and with every soaring speech imbued us with ever more optimism and hope. The man who can call McCain on the carpet on every major issue and land firmly on the right side of all of them. The man who if true to his word, stands a reasonable chance at being among the handful of truly great American Presidents by affecting change on a scale we haven’t been allowed to aspire to since JFK.

That is the man I imagined as leader of my country.

Politicspeak defines his actions as some sort of “triangulation” to focus on and court “swing voters”. I define it as bullshit and it troubles me immensely. I gotta tell ya, this FISA thing is close to breaking my heart.

Mr. Obama, don’t do this to us. Despite copious and chronic voter fraud, the last two Democrats lost their bid for the White House because they were too cautious. They listened to handlers and advisers. Too willing to play to the middle when challenged by the Dick-in-Bush juggernaut for being dangerously liberal or weak.

Guess what? They were exactly that. Pussies, both of them.

We were all hoping you weren’t a pussy.

It didn’t work for them and it will backfire far more viciously on you for cultivating our most sincere dreams of a better, more responsible government. An American people better off and in a safer world. Cleaner. Less war. A lot less war. A reinvigoration of the middle class by maybe reversing the concentration of wealth? Perhaps with new green industries and a renewed concentration on infrastructure? A change in the tax code? A robust middle class is the key to a sound economy, you know.

We have chosen you as the best man, from a formidable field, to do this thing. We’re not here to fuck around.

I’m hoping this roar behind you continues. Even if you insist on losing your way, perhaps the roar of the people will show you the map, your map, and you’ll get right again.

Absent that, we’ll still get you in, but we’ll pound the shit out of you every day until you do the right thing. Worst case scenario, you abandon who and what gave you the keys to the universe and you’ll have to work even harder than Jimmy Carter to repair your legacy of failure.

Pay us now or pay us later. Just don’t fuck with us.

Drinks for my friends.

This my territory, so I’ve posted my response first. The blog I’m responding too appears at the bottom:

I am saddened that such a clearly intelligent man has succumbed to fear and propaganda.

You say:
“I am tired of liberals who see only negativity in America; racism in her people, class warfare in her society, and flaws in her character.”

Do you imagine these things don’t exist? They do. For many, they are a part of everyday existence. A fact of life. You’re a white Christian Republican male, you will have to look outside yourself to see these phenomena. Burst your bubble my friend. It takes some courage but we can never come together unless you’re willing to see the world objectively. You’ll need to remove yourself from the equation to accomplish this.

We liberals are way ahead of you in that regard.

You say:
“I am deeply troubled by the Democratic Party which nominated John Kerry, whose qualifications revolved around labeling the honorable men and women who fought in the Vietnam War (58,000 of whom gave their lives in that action) as murderers, rapists and war criminals.”

Do you posit these things never occured? They did. He wasn’t labeling all of them, he was pointing it out. Many “incidents” are documented. They were horrifying. America fucked up. It’s embarrassing that you are only able to define Kerry in those terms. Is that really all you allowed yourself to see?

You imply we liberals are godless and lazy, unwilling to work and hate America. You are not only guilty of generalizing and stereotyping, but of drinking the neoconservative Kool-Aid.

I have worked hard my whole life. Had my own business at thirteen. Managed a restaurant at seventeen and was a recording engineer/producer by age twenty eight. Triple platinum by thirty one. Now finishing my first novel. And I don’t believe in your God.

Thank you for a genuine example of ingorance, bias and baseless piety.

Forgive me. Believe it or not, it doesn’t serve me to attack you as an individual. I’m actually fairly certain you are a good and decent man. It’s the ideology you so enthusiastically embrace and foment that I strive to to tear apart. It is false and wrong and the catalyst for evil on a level we have never seen in this country.

You say:
“I still pray that God will open the eyes of those ill-informed members of our society who, either through ignorance or deliberate malice, repeatedly attack and belittle those of us who believe in self-empowerment for all. I am grateful to have lived in a nation that gave me the freedom of self-determination and the right to benefit from my own personal achievements.

News Flash. I believe sincerely in self empowerment for all and I’m grateful to live in a country that has provided me with the freedom to pursue self determination and feel fortunate to have benifitted from personal achievment. I just don’t buy into your God.

Please wake up and look around.

**************************************************************************************************

His blog in it’s entirety:

Ask most any member of the main stream media elite, and a growing number of high school and college students, along with their teachers and professors, “What is a Republican?” and the response will likely include words such as, “greedy, self-centered, motivated only by money, unconcerned for the environment, the poor, and everyone they exploit.”

I am none of those things; I am simply a man who is proud of his country, and it’s hard-won heritage of liberty and justice for all. My own father fought two world wars to preserve freedom, and died at an early age as a result.

So, what is a Republican? I can only speak for myself.

I went to work at age 12, joined the Navy at 17, and went to war at 18. I started my own business at age 25 and worked 70, 80 and sometimes 100 hours a week for years, risking everything I had – including my health – to secure a better future for myself and my family. My own blood, sweat and tears made it possible for me to provide a secure living, not only for my family and myself, but also for literally hundreds of employees through the years, who in turn were able to buy their own homes, raise their own families, and give back to their communities and their country.

I am a Christian who loves God and his church, and who was taught to respect all religions whose teachings are based in love, peace and charity. I believe that God blessed this country because of the principles upon which it was founded. If you doubt God’s blessings still happen in today’s world, you need only look into the face of one who has received them.

I am a father who believes in the sanctity of marriage and the preservation of the family. I believe in the sanctity of life and am repulsed by the political left who pander for votes at the expense of the unborn. I am disgusted with the courts who rightly call the murder of a pregnant woman a double homicide, and then declare that the murder of an unborn baby is a constitutionally protected “woman’s right to choose.”

I am proud that our President expresses a belief in God; proud to have voted for a President who understands – politically incorrect tho’ it may be – that there is evil in this world. For the sake of all people everywhere, that evil must be confronted, and it must be defeated. I take comfort in the knowledge that our President refuses to allow decisions concerning the security of this nation to be governed by the political whims of foreign governments.

I understand that the terrorist attacks that murdered thousands of my fellow Americans can happen again. That’s why I sincerely believe America needs, now more than ever, a President who sees with a clear and focused vision and who speaks with a voice that – when heard by friend or foe – is understood, respected and believed.

I am eternally grateful to Ronald Reagan for speaking out against Communism and for having the courage of his convictions in leading the fight to defeat it; and to George W. Bush, who – in spite of the constant, vicious, personal and political attacks both he and his family have been forced to endure – has demonstrated uncommon vision, courage, conviction and leadership in America’s war against Islamic Global Jihad.

I am tired of liberals who see only negativity in America; racism in her people, class warfare in her society, and flaws in her character. I am also fed up with politicians who, when held up to public scrutiny, divert attention from their own personal, political and legislative failures by accusing their opponents of “mudslinging” and using negative attack ads.

I am deeply troubled by the Democratic Party which nominated John Kerry, whose qualifications revolved around labeling the honorable men and women who fought in the Vietnam War (58,000 of whom gave their lives in that action) as murderers, rapists and war criminals. That same Democratic Party has now embraced Barack Obama, another Harvard liberal elitist whose only claim to fame is that he was a Communist organizer and a member of a black separatist church for twenty years.

I still pray that God will open the eyes of those ill-informed members of our society who, either through ignorance or deliberate malice, repeatedly attack and belittle those of us who believe in self-empowerment for all. I am grateful to have lived in a nation that gave me the freedom of self-determination and the right to benefit from my own personal achievements.

I am blessed to be an American, and proud to be a Republican.

Remember the next line?

We torture.

Our government knows. Beyond complicit. They actively encourage and participate. This administration is guilty as fuck. These are very bad people.

“…….the Nobel Prize-winning organization Physicians for Human Rights has released a report, called “Broken Laws, Broken Lives,” that puts an appropriately horrifying face on a practice that is so fundamentally evil that it cannot co-exist with the idea of a just and humane society.” -truthout.org

On Thursday of this week, John Yoo and David Addington testified defiantly and with overt disdain on interrogation and torture before a House subcommittee. Addington is former legal counsel to Darth Cheney and his current Chief of Staff. Yoo, formerly of the Justice Department’s Office of Legal Counsel, contributed to the Patriot Act and authored memos advocating torture and the denial of enemy combatants various protections under the Geneva Conventions.

A pair of obstinate punks, mere war criminals, as well as high ranking powerful officials in our cancer ridden Executive and Judicial branches.

What the hell, the Legislative Branch isn’t worth the goddamn butane to set it on fire. Crooked cowards in a cabal of corruption, greed and perverse piety.

” The report profiles 11 detainees who were tortured while in U.S. custody and then released – their lives ruined – without ever having been charged with a crime or told why they were detained. All of the prisoners were men, and all were badly beaten. One was sodomized with a broomstick, the report said, and forced by his interrogators to howl like a dog while a soldier urinated on him. He fainted, the report said, “after a soldier stepped on his genitals.”
-truthout.org

It all took place at Guantanamo Bay, in Afghanistan and Iraq. Dick-in-Bush knew all about it. It’s often been the source of Cheny’s evil smirk whenever America is fortunate enought to have cameras in whatever place he suddenly appears. I fucking hate that guy.

Addington took it upon himself to lecture the committee on the terrorist threat. You really must watch it. He’s a quite the prick. We’ll deal with Yoo on another day. Interesting profile on him in the June Esquire.

“Rep. Jerrold Nadler (D-N.Y.), who later characterized Addington’s attitude as “smug,” asked whether, if the interrogation program was found to be illegal, he would bear any responsibility.

“Is that a moral question or a legal question?” Addington asked, then said he bore no responsibility, legal or moral.

Was President Bush constrained by laws against torture? Addington refused to offer an opinion. Putting the question in extreme terms, Nadler asked Addington if torturing a detainee’s child to get information would be legal.

“I’m not here to render legal advice to your committee,” Addington shot back. “You do have attorneys of your own to give you legal advice.” -Los Angeles Times

Man I hate these fucking guys.

America has lost it’s moral authority. America has lost itself. Those of us with the capacity to at least pay attention, are ashamed. Disgraced. We understand America has inflicted wounds on itself in a cornucopia of ways.

This wound is unique. To be able to say that truthfully is horrible on it’s own, but this wound has been neglected. It may have started out relatively minor on the chart. Now it’s the wrong color, a gaping hole in our gut, discharging the foulest vapor to ever enter one’s head.

There was a time we’d pack the seeping crater with gunpowder or sulfur and cross fingers.

“Perhaps the strangest exchange came at the end of the hearing. Rep. Bill Delahunt (D-Mass.) asked Addington whether waterboarding was discussed in meetings.

“I can’t talk to you,” Addington said. “Al Qaeda may watch these meetings.”

Delahunt replied that he was sure they did. “I’m glad they finally have a chance to see you, Mr. Addington,” Delahunt said. Without missing a beat, Addington answered, “I’m sure you’re pleased.” -Los Angeles Times

After that the Republicans crapped in their hands and threw it at Delahunt for like an hour. Monkeys. Retarded ones that throw like girls.

You know what’s just fucking nuts? Of a scale by quantity of innocent lives lost as a direct result of the American government’s obtuse warmongering since Dumbya ascended, this senseless torture, this damage and ruin to a handful of lives, is but a mote in the eye of a hurricane.

I’m inclined to believe just about anything about us anymore. Any of it could so easily be true. America has lost her identity.

Just how profoundly ridiculous have we become?

Drinks for my friends.

Sheezus! Our man opts out of public financing worth about eighty five million dollars and instead, decides to bet on his own fundraising prowess where he’s so far been able to accumulate around a quarter billion.

Duh.

The ‘duh’ is my sentiment, but Candy Crowley just uttered it on CNN.

You can bet your vagina that if the situation were reversed, the former champions of amassing massive war chests, that would be Republicans, would bust the very same move.

For what it’s worth, Barack raised his money in large part from the people, in small donations. Republicans typically benefit from corporate money.

In all fairness, it is a reversal on the part of our man. However, it is a practical and intelligent decision for Barack to utilize the funds provided by individual American citizens who want to see him as President. Doubtfire calls him a flip flopper less than a week after doing the very same thing on an issue far more important; offshore drilling and expolration. Why, experts speculate that could save us a dollar a barrel in a decade or so. I thought I came up with that last point myself, and I did. Carville beat me to the punch just now on CNN.

Not only that but the poor bastard is pissed because he’s completely outmatched.

Prescience is mine. I hope.

I hope this man will remain accountable to the citizens, the Americans, who have and will fund his ascendancy to the White House because we hope and understand the fierce urgency of now. The imperative for change.

Consider the alternative. See? You have got to be fucking kidding me.

Yesterday his campaign ended up in a minor shitstorm for not allowing some women in tradititional muslim garb to appear behind our man on camera. “Insensitive”, they said. The pot indignantly describes the kettle as more black. The culture fomented by fear mongers and bigots under the guise of terrorism is the reason, right or wrong. The media insists it’s a story. It’s not our story. It’s not that we don’t care, it’s just we’re painfully aware from whence it came.

All I have to say to Cindy Stepford McCain is shut the fuck up. She says she’s always been proud of her country. Well, that’s jingoistic, nationalistic and just plain stupid. She thinks she speaks of patriotism, it’s abundantly clear she has no clue.

Did she take pride in Abu Ghraib? How about the assassinations of 1968? Is she taking pride in the geopolitical/economic disaster her husband has not only been complicit in but helped to engineer? How about the savings and loan scandal her which husband escaped unscathed? How proud of her country and her husband was she when the Little Bootlicker hugged Dumbya and endorsed him after losing the nomination in part for him being accused of fathering an illegitimate black child that they in fact adopted? Or when he voted against fair treatment and a modest education for our troops returning home from an unjustified war in Iraq? Slavery? Was she proud when her doddering husband suggested there was nothing wrong with staying in Iraq for a hundred years? New Orleans? Plamegate? Executive priviledge? Suspension of Habeas Corpus? Tax cuts for the rich? Sean Hannity? Rush Limbaugh? Ann Coulter? Bill O’Reilly? Is she proud of her country for slaughter after slaughter of millions of innocent civilians caught between competing corporate financial interests over the last five decades?

I for one, have been profoundly ashamed of all these things and it’s an abbreviated version of a very long list.

She’s proud of getting richer while everyone else gets poorer.

The phenomena of Barack Obama is reason for me to be be proud of my country for the first time in a very long time. So is Michelle Obama for that matter. They are both, a class act. I can’t wait.

Cindy Stepford McCain might be an asshole, just like the rest of them.

Drinks for my friends.

That’s what we call it. I began utilizing the action (?) as an alternative to the more customary handshake while doing trade shows a handful of years ago.

I’m a little bit of a germaphobe and it seemed an appropriate way to avoid sweaty hands, urine and booger residue. This one guy, big account in the midwest, could throw thirty to fifty thousand our way on a single order. Cool guy. Chronic hyperhidrosis.

He pretty much inspired me to join the cult of the “TERRORIST FIST JAB”.

I’m also a fan of what I call “ass gaskets”. I’m loathe to use a public restroom but I’m a pretty regular guy, if you’re picking up what I’m laying down.

I apologize to all of America for engaging in such blatant and overt support of killing the innocent and subverting Christian dogma. Not only am I a fool, but a patsy as well. I’ve been duped.

I saw that speech where that married couple who might be muslim terrorists did the dreaded “TERRORIST FIST JAB”. I saw it live. I’m ashamed. At the time I thought it was cool. His kinda hot wife gave her man knuckles.

We Americans are so naive and I’m not exempt. What I processed as a simple, perhaps somewhat hip gesture, was really a well understood signal by a pair of evil doers to the evil doers of the world to do more evil.

This is old news to some of you but I just happened onto this raging controversy today. My friend and sometimes sugar momma mentioned it as we jaywalked to my apartment after she sprung for sushi and beer.

“During the June 6 edition of Fox News’ America’s Pulse, host E.D. Hill teased an upcoming discussion by saying, “A fist bump? A pound? A terrorist fist jab? The gesture everyone seems to interpret differently.” In the ensuing discussion with Janine Driver — whom Hill introduced as “a body language expert” — Hill referred to the “Michelle and Barack Obama fist bump or fist pound,” adding that “people call it all sorts of things.” Hill went on to ask Driver: “Let’s start with the Barack and Michelle Obama, because that’s what most people are writing about — the fist thump. Is that sort of a signal that young people get?” At no point during the discussion did Hill explain her earlier reference to “a terrorist fist jab.” -crooksandliars.com

Mirror mirror on the wall, who be the most simple minded jingoistic network of all?

This is the silliest shit I’ve ever seen. Color me fucking dumbfounded.

The lowest watermark in public discourse I’ve ever witnessed. That there isn’t widespread outrage over it is definitive proof that we are a nation of dumbasses. I heard on Stewart tonight that only one in seven Americans can find Iraq on a map.

We have managed to elevate a fine man all the way to the contest for President of this once great country. He is perhaps the finest to run for that office in almost half a century.

Fox news can suck a fart out of my ass.

Drinks for my friends.

Why that would be our man. The Little Paste Eater. Dennis Kucinich introduced thirty five articles of impeachment against Dumbya in the House o’ Reps last night.

He’s already delivered a carp in newspaper to Darth Cheney. Cheney had it deposited in a dumpster far from his residence and shot the man who delivered it in the crotch with an antique blunderbuss. There were reports claiming his footwear was very pointy that afternoon.

I would not deign to tongue the sack of the esteemed Paste Eater myself but I can be counted on to pitch in for hookers and booze. I’m good like that and everyone knows a man needs his balls licked now and then. I’m just goddamn giddy over this. Kucinich rocks.

Didn’t see it on TV today. After all it was really only about illegally spying on us and lying about every aspect of the war.

I understand Britney is contemplating having her vagina removed.

Did you hear McClellan is gonna show up before the House Judiciary?

Oh, and the second part of some Senate intelligence report came out last Thursday saying pretty much the same thing.

It’s nuts. One of the most logical reasons to leave Iraq is that there was a complete absence of logical reasons to show up and do what we did. If you sincerely believe the world is safer, you’re an idiot.

If you think we’re fighting them over there so we don’t have to fight them over here you’re not being intellectually honest with yourself and you might be an idiot.

If you believe you’re better off than you were six or seven years ago, you’re rich and most likely greedy. Or, you’re an idiot. Not mutually exclusive terms by the way.

If you think the health of the planet is not being influenced by the fact that their’s too fucking many of us you’re being intellectually dishonest with your bad self. Good chance you’re an idiot.

If you’re of the opinion that John McCain is going to do anything other than add tonnage to your financial burden, you have ‘assfasia’. A condition where one’s face resembles ones ass so closely that the bowels are confused as to which way to move. Same diagnosis if you’re of the mind that he has a clue about what to do in Iraq, Iran, Afghanistan or any country that starts with a U.

Braincheck.

I’ll be urging you to eschew obfuscation and avoid being stupid until early November.

Drinks for my friends.

So, not a day of sartorial splendor for America’s once well turned out economy. We used to clean up well. These days the only thing clean is our clocks. Sorry.

In a single day the market plunged almost four hundred points. Unemployment numbers flirt with a redline. Dino juice was over a hundred and thirty eight fucking dollars a barrel. The news on foreclosures and households in arrears is bad. Very bad.

This shit is getting serious.

My point is this. How much longer does McCain imagine we can get away with spending half a million a minute in Iraq? While we’re on the subject, he’s openly admitted economics is not his strong suit. Still wants to keep tax cuts to the wealthy permanent. Seems to really like the war.

What does he do when his face itches? He shouldn’t leave home without a plastic pasta spoon. Keep it in his jacket pocket. That’s what I use to reach areas I’d otherwise be unable to.

He resisted Secret Service protection. That speaks volumes. A single sided example of the difference between courage and stupidity. Curmudgeonly old bastard desperate to believe he’s as invincible as he once was. Who would vote for this guy?

There’s a lotta ignorant folks want this guy runnin the show. I hope there’s enough of us with a modicum of common sense.

I know we’ve been over this a lot. Search under McCain, Doubtfire or Little Bootlicker in my categories for more facts and disparaging remarks.

I’m gonna do a glossary soon.

I hear Our Man Obama led Lieberman by the tie into a dark corner of the Senate chambers today and kneed him in the balls a few times while gently cradling his head. I welcome this news because I can’t stand Lieberman’s face. It goes without saying that everything from his allegiances, loyalties and integrity are dubious these days. I’m of the opinion that Uncle Joe can use a little playground justice at the hands of the Democratic nominee.

He’s an orthodox Jew. I tend to not give the overtly religious the benefit of the doubt, a weakness, perhaps a failing. I doubt it. He’s gleefully obsequious with Dick-in-Bush and AIPAC, as well as Doubtfire. Fool.

He needs a name.

Benedict Fliptop.

First name is obvious. Surname is due to his enormous lip span. That’s lip span. I picture his head opening all the way back. Like a broken PEZ dispenser.

Benedict Fliptop sucks.

I think he’s on Doubtfire’s shortlist for Assistant Manager. That would be very nice. It would guarantee comedy. They could play Stratego in the van between gigs.

They could hit the road after they lose.

Appalachia!

America needs a makeover.

The oficial Brainspank prediction is a win by a significant margin for the good guys.

Drinks for my friends.

I hesitate to bore you with the facts, but today is either Labor Day or Memorial day.

That of course, means one of two things. Members of one of two groups will definitely get the day off. That’s pretty big. See, a lot of other Americans get the day off to honor one of those groups.

Thus, a lot of us benefitted from what one of these two groups sacrificed at some time in the past. I’m not entirely sure who they are or what they did for me. I’m unemployed so it really doesn’t matter. I had the day off anyway.

I think I’m channeling Andy Rooney.

So Dumbya heads to Arlington or wherever, with a wreath. Many of us dash to a head stone doing our best somber tango.

I’m pretty sure it’s Memorial Day.

By no means do I intend to impugn the fallen or loved ones who survive them. The wounded, the maimed, the broken, the burned, the limbless or the permanently fucked in the head. Not at all. When I think of all of you, I just can’t stand it. It’s tragic and the epitome of unfair.

“And I will not accept from Senator Obama, who did not feel it was his responsibility to serve our country in uniform, any lectures on my regard for those who did,” -Doubtfire via USA Today

“At issue is an expansion of the GI bill that would guarantee full college scholarships for those who serve in the military for three years.” -USA Today

As you may know, I don’t covet oversimplification. This one however, seems ripe for an Alley Oop. Check me here, but it’s seems McCain is declaring that only those who have volunteered for our nation’s military have a dog in this hunt for equitable treatment of our troops and veterans.

For the sake of argument, let’s go with that for a minute. Why don’t we allow those very same people the Little Bootlicker believes are the exclusive group worthy of voice in this matter, to indeed be the ones to decide?

Let our troops, veterans and if you’re feeling generous, their loved ones, determine the fate of this bill.

Ha! What do you think they’d have to say? I’ll give you one painfully obvious swing at the softest of pitches. Hint: Doubtfire would miss it for the same reason he can’t comb his own hair.

I’m saying he would guess wrong because he’s pretty much on his own planet. His planet is moving away from our sun.

The Little Bootlicker sat out the vote. He’s on record as opposing it. Courage of his conviction?

Our man and the Pantsuit: In favor, and showed up to say so.

Used to be, you served, you got taken care of. I guess we can’t afford that anymore.

Republicans as a rule, stand on the shoulders of our armed forces pretending to champion them while shitting all over their heads and shoulders. They always have. I hesitate to bore you with facts, but you’d do yourself a favor to do a little research into what our men and women are coming home to these days. A fate largely allowed by a Republican majority in congress and endorsed by the stupidest President in history.

Our Executive branch, as well as the entirety of the legislative branch, appear to have a healthy, albeit draconian, work ethic. So far, they seem perfectly happy to send our soldiers back to hell six or seven times. Feet, hands, eyes and ears is all they need to send you back to work until you can’t or you’re dead.

“I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands, one Nation, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.”

Happy Fourth of July.

Drinks for my friends.

Every once in a while, a genuinely good thing happens in the world and I find myself smiling. Guess what kind of day today was?

This, after a pretty good day yesterday.

Today the California Supreme Court ruled overwhelmingly that same sex marriages are well within the protection of our state constitution. Keep on rockin the free world. Some pundit mentioned that California was among the first, back in nineteen forty eight, to declare the very same protection for interracial couples.

Look at us. We’re so goddamn chiquita.

A societal fundament.

Big news. A major civil rights victory. Huge.

The Outtake Bistro had the tomato tarragon soup with chicken. I chose to pair it with a blanc de blanc. We started with mixed greens and a miso dressing.

“I was just a little pup
And it was derby day

Was dad and me and darrell
Out in san pablo bay

Taco flavored doritos
And my orange life vest

Dad caught a hundred pound sturgeon
On twenty-pound test

Now he fought that fish for an hour
And a half

Darrell’d say “jump ya sons a bitch!”
And he grabbed for the gaff

When we got him in the boat
He measured six feet long

I was so danged impressed i had
To write a song called

Fish on” -Primus

Then Dumbya, after declaring solidarity for all the troops waiting to die and those who already have, by allegedly giving up being photographed playing golf, opened his dumbass mouth again while speaking to the Israeli Parliament.

It was like a warm buttermilk biscuit on my doorstep. A packet or two of honey and that butter flavored stuff.

This guy is the pointy part of a turd above a white collar and a red tie. What a dick.

In front of The Knesset, in the lamest way one can imagine, he swings a limp pecker with conviction that can only come from some dissociative fantasy based on his dick actually being hard.

For all intents and purposes, he called our man Obama a Nazi sympathizer. Doubtfire waded in like a pasty faced zombie. He shat in his bag and began to explore his nostrils with all fingers.

Rove called the pixilated residence of Darth Cheney pleading for someone to put a leash on the goddamn monkey as he was really hoping to spend his sunset years destroying somebody.

Biden erupted in his inimitable way by saying “This is bullshit. This is malarkey. This is outrageous. Outrageous for the president of the United States to go to a foreign country, sit in the Knesset…and make this kind of ridiculous statement,”

I understand they caught him coming out of an elevator. We likes us some Joe Biden. We likes him more when he’s pissed.

My point is this:

This administration’s foreign policy is a debate any immigrant 7-11 clerk could hand Dumbya, or McCain for that matter, their asses on.

Hey, how’s that not talking to anybody working out for you assholes?

Are you guys aware that your own Secretaries of State and Defense advocate talking to these nations?

Sheezus!

It’s like Darth and Dumbya ride ponies around in the basement everyday playing cowboys and indians. They come up for lemonade and head right back down. Darth stuffs his pockets with moon pies. Dumbya’s got a flask. They’re both on lithium and sleeping in coffins.

I just saw a backlit mystery stream spray a home pregnancy strip and a woman was ejected by her bed to an opulent lobby. TV on but no sound.

Drinks for my friends.

It’s not so simple.

See, the war in Iraq is the eight hundred pound gorilla in the elevator. We wage this obtuse war on credit. The thick residue of it’s flesh, lives maimed and lost, and insane amounts of money will all be borne by families, taxpayers in and of the future.

You and your children, for a very long time.

It’s dumb. Egregious. Irresponsible.

One half of one million dollars a minute.

The dumbest shit I’ve ever paid attention to.

I paid $4.33 a gallon for gas today. Sixty fucking dollars to fill it up.

Two of the assholes running for the highest office in the land are endorsing a suspension of federal gas taxes for the summer as long as you don’t attempt to fill up while wearing white. An idea that would further jeopardize the rotting infrastructure in this country as well as as jobs that rely on federal contracts generated by those taxes. In the scheme of things it will save you enough to buy an extra loaf of goddamn bread.

One candidate points out the folly of such a suggestion and says it’s not a policy that will save you money, but rather a gimmick to make the other two more electable. They piss back by saying it’s further proof of his elitism.

How fucking stupid are you America? One candidate is straight with you and the other two pander shamelessly.

I paid $990 dollars for a root canal today. It was a molar and it felt like I was getting my head pierced. Over two hours in the chair and I still have to go back. We’re not done drilling and filing in my skull. Next time you’re feeling down about your subprime loan, sit with your mouth open like you have a flip top head for two hours.

I did get some vicodin out of the deal.

Foreclosures are at the their highest rate since the Great Depression.

There was a time when we were the smartest, most progressive and wealthiest country on the planet. In seven short years we have re-emerged as the dumbest country in the most rapid economic and ethical decline on that same planet.

I have long aspired to maintain an open mind. Only now, I’ve developed an ever increasing empathy for those “liberal elitists” that simply walk away from a conversation that begins with any extolling of the virtues of one George W. Bush.

The failings of this man and his administration have become a litany so considerable, to document it would be an exhaustive and agonizing career; suffering the worst and most unaccountable human idiocy, day after day. A really pissed off life. Biographers of Dumbya are about to own the highest suicide rate. Over dentists even.

I’ll do it for $50k. Seriously. In a heartbeat. Bitch.

Five years ago yesterday, “Mission Accomplished”. What a retard. What a gaggle of roundheads. How’s Louisiana? Anyone?

And then we come to today. Just like yesterday. John McCain is alive and well and still running for President. He is a hundred and eleventeen. His wife is an appallingly rich, steely eyed fembot from Stepford who’s face has been in the garage more often than any AMC Pacer still on the road.

Dumbest car ever, by the way.

Forgive me. What I’m trying to get to is this. How the fuck is Doubtfire a legit contender? This guy is a doddering ass with indefensible positions on the very policies Americans scream about in poll after poll. Could it be that the Democratic panoply under the big top is what’s somehow infusing his carcass with buoyancy?

Well, that would make us jackasses, wouldn’t it?

Drinks for my friends.

Oh fuck.

Bloodiest month in Iraq since September of last year. It’s Iran’s fault, they tell us. It’s not that the surge is no longer working, they assure us.

It’s that it never did, I assure you.

Stupid idea. Too little. Too late.

A band aid applied with the hope it would staunch the wound long enough for Dick-in-Bush to make a getaway. It was a matter of time until the dam breached itself by an artery that just wasn’t able to contain the pressure of all that blood.

They don’t have another one.

In what may be the cruelest and simultaneously most hysterical whirling dervish of irony I’ve ever witnessed, our nation has an immediate and affordable solution to the shattered back of our fighting force. The numbers are somewhere between twelve and twenty million. It’ll be a little less logistically efficacious if we decide to build that stupid border fence, but still doable.

Just think, we could all sleep a little easier knowing that we’re finally justified in paying them a fair wage as well as covering their medical needs etc.

See, they’d be dying for us while we sleep and have barbecues on Sunday. Well, not us, but the military industrial complex.

Draft the illegals!

I feel comfortable playing the race card.

Not really.

In other news, our Little Bootlicker pissed all over a bill that sought to mandate equal pay for women because he feared the lawsuits that would emerge. Um, isn’t that the point asshole?

Don’t forget, Doubtfire is on record as in favor of permanent tax cuts to the wealthy while we are facing perhaps the worst economic disaster since the Great Depression. Rice is being rationed in America for fuck’s sake. He’s cool with us staying in Iraq for a hundred years and it explains it with the example of our presence in Germany or South Korea.

Anybody remember any American soldiers dying in either of those two countries in combat in say, the last three decades?

Both Shrillary and McCain are in favor of a moratorium on federal gas tax for the summer. Great idea. Profound and inspired despite it’s being another goddamn blatant and pandering populist band aid to demonstrate how they feel our pain.

Never mind the jobs and money lost to our highway and bridge repair infrastructure, it won’t save you shit.

Check the crab in a bucket metaphor from the last blog.

Another suggestion along the same lines would be a mandate that all children, everywhere walk to school. Not even parents can drive them. They must get there under their own power. Can you imagine the money that could be saved?

We should go back to making everything out of wood. Soft drink containers and dashboards and polyester pants for fat people as well as the the stylistically challenged. Lenses and guns and amplifiers. Imagine a wooden computer.

You could safely use Pledge on it.

Why, it’s a renewable resource.

In America, the lights are on, but nobody’s home.

How did we become the stupidest and richest country on earth?

Wait. I know

Lust and greed?

Beer?

Gin!

Tonight on CNN, Michelle Obama said of the Wright controversy, she was finished talking about it. as is her husband, and that the issue would only die when the media diegns to acquiesce. I shouldn’t be allowed to say it after that last sentence but. WORD.

Every once in awhile I wonder if we all aren’t just stupid enough to not realize we are pell mell towards either the sun melting us, or a demise of our own.

Like the sun melting us.

I can see the world on my plasma TV. I communicate with all of you via a MAC. I have hand held devices that I can talk to the world with or control the signals beamed at me from a satellite in orbit.

I don’t see much progress. So far, no big picture shared by a majority of our species. It’s still neanderthal. Set huge fires. Everyman for himself. Get yourself a woman. Bacon is good.

Drinks for my friends.

Precisely what was needed to preserve the fight as is.

A ten point thumping by the She-Clinton.

The rednecks, the Great Unwashed of Pennsylvania have spoken. We are reminded of their collective ignorance. Frustrating at the very least. College grads barely went for our man. Those without, overwhelming support for Shrillary. White, blue collar, by seventy percent for Shrillary.

I am white, of blue collar, arguably white trash, and my people are pissing me off.

The goddamn Catholics go for her. What the hell? No pun intended.

All of the sudden, It is about race again in an agonizing way.

I am profoundly disappointed and very much of the opinion that this divide manifested along racial lines.

There doesn’t appear to be any other logical explanation.

Lest ye be inclined to disagree, study the demographics of rural-middle Pennsylvania.

Um, it ends in ‘sylvania’, like Transylvania. Vlad the Impaler? Just sayin’.

He moves on to Indiana without missing a beat or step. He packs a much larger venue in Evansville than she does in in Philly. The speech does not disappoint.

Still on track to prevail, it will now last until June and I hope no longer.

I’ll be honest with you. Either one will turn Doubtfire into a punching bag when the time comes. Without a doubt. He’s weak, he may have legs but his hands are down on the issues. He has no way to defend himself on the economy, the war and change. You will see him bleed.

The point is this, she can win, but he will bring change. The race is now. The time to bring the best candidate is now, the better of the two will prevail in November. It will surely be a Democratic Commander in Chief.

This is the future, not the general election in November. It is now.

The electorate in Pennsylvania provided proof that they are fools.

The math doesn’t work in her favor unless she bowls seven or eight more perfect games. She won’t. Despite all that’s occured tonight, Shrillary has not shown any quantity or quality to suggest she can do that. The math is still not there.

Super delegates will not oppose the will of the people if only to avoid the perception of disenfranchisement for a third consecutive Presidential election.

Stupid Americans are notoriously stubborn. Then again, so are smart ones.

Trust me, it’s now.

Drinks for my friends.

Here we go, live from the HQ of Brainspank:

She doesn’t look at him when he speaks. He does when she speaks.

Right off the bat, we start with the “bitter” wank, directed at our man Obama:

He’s cool. Well done. He shouldn’t have to answer this question again. It’s over. Polls are out. Little to no damage. Let it go. The man has acquitted himself with expertise and sincerity.

Shrillary tells us about her grandfather. She cannot let go of it. She attempts again with shameless abandon, to pump the issue and ends up rambling.

Stephanopoulos throws a save and Obama gets to rebut:

He fucking soars, elequent and to the point. Uses Hillary’s truthful statement circa nineteen ninety two when she said something like “What did you expect, I’ll be staying home baking cookies?” He was saving that, he wanted to see how far she’d go.

Then we go to Reverend Wright:

He is elequent and she takes the bait. Sheer desperation. Painful. She continues to disgust. Obama goes too long but makes good points. She steps in in real shit by admitting there is indeed “bitterness”.

Nobody notices.

Stephanopoulos throws a nice curve and calls her on her snipers in Bosnia:

She sucks at this. She is spins hard. Shrillary Bad Form.

Our man takes the high road and gives Shrillary a pass. This guy is a class act. Uses the rest of his time to go to issues and ties it in to the idea that we have bigger fish to fry.

Then Gibson throws our man a straight pitch on flag, country and patriotism. He rocks it. Points out it’s a manufactured issue. Stephanopoulos throws a low pitch about some Black Panther or Weather Underground member showing up at a party. He rocks that one too by pointing out the silliness of the question. We actually laughed. I guess Bill pardoned a few of the same people.

Shrillary takes a few chews on it and looks desperate. Doesn’t like the taste after all.

Commercial Break. Let me just say this. This man is Presidential. He is smooth and he is tearing her up. We want a man like this as President, as opposed to the man we have or the woman who wants it. A man who can think on his feet. He is killing.

Onto Iraq:

She does well, but she’s vague. Plan to be determined by advisors. Wes Clark sits with Chelsea and Philly Mayor Michael Nutter. Wes looks a little drunk. He’s slouching, his tie is wrinkled.

Sorry about your name there, Mayor Nutter. Seen The Hatter?

Barack is more definitive. Sixteen months is the goal. More specific, in that ‘we are in trouble now’ kinda way. We’re somewhere very close to the edge of fucked. Wants to talk to Iran.

Yep. He gets it.

They both kiss Israel’s ass and then there’s some acknowledgement by Shrillary and Stephanopoulos that the lie of Iran’s nuclear aspirations are true. Sheezus.

To her credit, she delivers a nuanced overview of the situation and some broad and comprehensive policy.

Barack talks to the eight hundred pound gorilla that is diplomacy with Iran. Forgive me, he get’s it. That shit is going to be a disaster soon. Um. Fierce Urgency of Now?

The Economy:

She pledges to roll back the tax cuts on the rich. A plan for relief for the middle class for health, medical and a pledge to not raise taxes on the middle class.

He says the same and raises her with the notion of tax cuts for the middle. He gives a far more extensive plan and overview. Asked about capital gains he says fair is fair. Billionares should not pay a lower percentage than their secretaries.

I understand he played a little ball. His wife, Michelle, was a class act last night on Colbert.

Ok, she’s hot.

Hills goes to prosperity of the Clinton era. She speaks of freezing foreclosures and interest rates. She panders to the locals a little.

His grasp of specifics and policy is breathtaking. Without exception he’s had a specific answer for everything that’s been thrown at him tonight.

Can’t remember his answer on this but it was awesome.

Commercial Break. At this point, I gotta tell ya, this man is so obviously, so blisteringly smarter and better prepared than her, she appears in my minds eye like a fish kissing the glass and getting stuck.

I can barely hear screaming, because it’s a brain scream. It’s like right before a high speed car wreck that even though you can see it coming, it sounds awful and you’re confused, so your brain makes a noise. Your mouth already did.

Guns:

I kinda don’t care. I mean, let’s do the best we can to keep them out of the hands of the crazy bastards and individuals certainly don’t need access to a weapon that can kill hundreds in minutes. That’s my policy.

Honestly they both do well, despite the silly follow ups by Stephanopoulos and Gibson.

Affirmative Action:

Isn’t this thing over yet? Our man does well. She does well. Wasn’t this thing supposed to be ninety minutes? It’s challenging my attention span. I need a smoke. I gotta refresh my drink.

Gas Prices:

She calls for investigations. Calls for release of reserves. That’s dumb. Otherwise she does ok in addressing the long term and the proactive tip.

He agrees and does a little better with long term answers.

I can’t be happier that ethanol wasn’t mentioned.

On Dumbya:

She jokes. He does very well. Are we done yet?

Commercial break. This shit is exhausting. I’m doing it live. My DVR doesn’t goddamn rewind so I’m bringing it to you raw, bitches.

Convention, Super Delegates:

She’s good. Hard to believe Wes Clark is in her corner. Then again, he’s an aging white man.

Our man goes larger, with issues and policy, an exceptional answer.

No post analysis from ABC. What? Weird.

Here’s mine:

He cleaned her clock. Better prepared and speaking from higher and more confident ground. Give the man a can of domestic beer. It is the best I’ve seen of him. His disgust and frustration was a presence, but eclipsed by his composure and poise. Passion and intelligence.

We need to get this thing over with so we can get on with getting the rest of it over with.

He really was extraordinary.

I’m clear.

Drinks for my friends.

“So it’s not surprising then that they get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren’t like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations,” he concluded.

Of course their bitter, I am.

Perhaps the only thing wrong with that sentiment is it’s being of maybe too broad a generalization. It is however, true in at least some contexts. Shrillary endeavors to use the remarks as an adhesive to affix a label of elitist to our man Obama.

Forgive me here, but that’s fucking absurd. Abandonded by his father at two years old, a mother who died young and eventually being raised by grandparents; in so many ways, Barack Obama is the epitome of the American ideal of a self made man. Whereas Shrillary and her husband sit atop a pile of filthy lucre so vast it would feed and clothe a third world country. Nothing wrong with that pile save for the component of hypocrisy Shrillary insists on injecting.

This is non-news on a slow news day as far as I’m concerned. I’m an agnostic and therefore not of a mind to give a shit about any of it. It’s transparently disingenuous. Silly season.

We can do better than this. The Little Bootlicker should be drawing this kind of fire for sponsoring the idea that those very people die for one more day, much less a hundred more years, in a pointless war based on lies and for aspiring to keep tax cuts to the rich permanent. If Shrillary is looking for an elitist, she need look no further than John McCain. Silly season indeed.

In light of that, this kind of rhetoric is destructive, irresponsible and smacks of desperation. It is more than likely that Obama will secure the nomination and Shrillary has just handed Doubtfire a box of bullets with our man’s name on them as well as emptying his piss bag for him. Way to go Hills. You continue to disgust.

Meanwhile, back at the conflagration, gas is four bucks a gallon, eighty thousand jobs lost last month, people are losing their homes right and left, a seven hundred thirty six million dollar “embassy” the size of the fucking Vatican opens in Iraq next month while our troops suffer more casualties and deaths last week than any other so far this year. How’s that “surge” working you pricks?

You’ve got be fucking kidding me.

Drinks for my friends.

Hey kids. Hope you’re all in the mood for a puppet show because I am. If you look close, you’ll see that many of the puppets have freckles and some even wear glasses. Be good to yourself!

A net loss of eighty thousand jobs last month. Three airlines go under in one week. Record foreclosures and an outrageously exorbitant bailout of Bear Stearns by the Federal Reserve, i.e. your money.

Celent, a financial research firm, is forecasting a loss of two hundred thousand banking jobs over the next twelve to eighteen months. That’s one tenth kids. Expect to see similiar fallout from virtually every other private sector.

We are fighting a pointless war, the cost of which is said to be in excess of one hundred thousand dollars a minute. It is not being paid for. Yet. America is waging this war on credit. Future generations will get this tab. The cost, the burden, in lives, money, respect and trust from the world community, to be borne by Americans for decades to come.

We renewed the Blackwater contract 🙂

Decades, at least.

Lest ye think this surge in Iraq is going well, they’ve twice attacked the goddamn green zone. Three dead yesterday. Two dead and seventeen wounded in the safest place in Iraq. Yesterday. They are killing people in the Green Zone.

Baghdad is burning again.

Five shootings in the San Fernando valley this weekend. Crime in the greater Los Angeles area is way up. Local news loves this shit.

Meanwhile, the asshats in Washington stand around wringing hands over the definition of “recession”. They’re gonna send us three to six hundred bucks apiece and they encourage us to spend it. That should do it. I would’ve said three fifty to six fifty, but whatever. Six of one, one half dozen of the other.

In the spirit of ad nauseam, we spend about seven thousand per public school student, around thirty thousand per prisoner. We incarcerate more people per capita than any nation on earth. On the face of the planet. More than half of our entire budget is for killing people and blowing shit up. We do not have universal health care.

The American middle class atrophies faster than the polar icecaps.

This is the legacy of Dumbya. His legacy is our perfect storm. It will be a long one.

This is fucked up. It is ridiculous.

I’m seriously starting to wonder if agriculture might not be the next hot job ticket. I’m nervous because I live in the city and there’s no place to plant carrots.

We, as Americans, mill around bleating like sheep over a black man or woman or maybe the guy who wants to pursue a pointless war indefinitely and an absolute clusterfuck of economic policies.

We are pathetic.

Everyone holds their breath over whether Pennsylvania will end up more misogynist than racist, and if so, to what degree. I’m over it. We’ll never get exactly what we want or what we need but can someone tell me why the fuck McCain is in this race?

Are there that many of us that are that stupid? He’s insane. How much you wanna bet we either catch him asleep or drooling on camera before the General in November? He’s seventy two years old. My mother is the same age, I wouldn’t vote for her and she’s not insane.

Sheezus!

As much as I hate to say it, we need you people. What do we have to do? You already know we won’t take your guns away. Chuck Heston took the dirt nap today and I’m wondering if they’ve pried it from his cold dead hands yet.

I couldn’t wait to make that joke.

We all want the same things. Safety and security. A decent living wage and a fair amount of personal freedom. Those things have all eroded over the past seven years, more rapidly than at any other time in American history.

Our founding fathers spin in their sarcophagi begging for a tachometer.

Aren’t there at least some of you that understand we need something new? C’mon. The sky is about to fall. No matter what we do it’s gonna get worse. How bad do you want it to be?

Don’t be stupid.

Drinks for my friends.

So, The Joint Chiefs chairman tells us today we’re fresh out of cannon fodder.

Admiral Mike Mullen admitted today that although additional US troops are needed in Afghanistan, we’re tapped. We have no more personnel.

The military said, nope.

In saying such a simple thing, Mr Mullen acknowledges what we’ve all known for some time. The back of our great American Army is broken. We are left without the ability to defend ourselves. Our men and women are bogged down and tied up in the stupidest and most disgustingly reasonless war America has ever engaged in.

Looking for something to be afraid of? There it is.

Did you know there’s a movement in San Francisco to rename a sewage treatment plant after Dumbya?

We are unable to prosecute, for all intents and purposes, what has always been the more important of the two fronts on “terror”.

Well, one didn’t matter at all and the other did kinda. It matters more now.

“There are force requirements there [in Afghanistan] that we can’t currently meet,” Adm. Mike Mullen said. “Having forces in Iraq at the level they’re at doesn’t allow us to fill the need that we have in Afghanistan.” -CNN

Meanwhile back at the ranch, Fire and death were lobbed into the Green Zone. Basra and Baghdad burn and die again. Turns out, we barely have the resources to take on al-Sadr’s Mahdi army. He was merely testing us.

We tell everyone it’s Iran’s fault

The future’s so bright, I gotta wear a welding helmet. And a hazmat suit.

This thing ain’t going nowhere but worse.

The economy. Duh.

We need a leader.

It’s amazing that our Little Bootlicker, McCain is a contender. I think he should have to reveal whether or not he’s in diapers well before the general in November. I wonder if he’s wearing a bag.

I don’t know what to make of this man. I used to like him. It’s been a while. He runs down the middle and literally alienates both sides while still polling well.

I guess the middle is big too. I’d hoped they weren’t that dumb.

With any luck we can collectively understand that old rich white men in charge is a bad idea, particularly if they have too much faith. Doubtfire doesn’t seemed to be consumed with Santa, but he’s wrong on all the issues.

I have but two questions, maybe three for Mrs. Doubtfire:

#1. How exactly are you going to win this war on a broken economy AND a broken military?

#2. What on earth made you run for President, what is your answer to number one?

#3. Are you serious about maintaining these tax cuts while staring at this black maw of an economic vortex?

#4. Do you understand these things at all?

He’s lucky to be getting a running start.

I know what it’s like when you’re trying to think but nothing happens.

He does too. Way better than me.

Look, the Republicans are used to various monkeys. Reagan was a bit of an orangutang. Bush Sr. was some skinny big eared sharp chinned simian. Dumbya is a retarded chimp. Doubtfire is a goddamn reptile. They confuse him while he confuses them.

James Dobson loathes The Bootlicker and that cracks me up. This guy reaches over two hundred million a day in a hundred and sixty countries by radio alone. Focus On The Family. Yes, that megalomaniacal douchebag. It’s these bastards that I really loathe. They highjack common sense with self righteous morality and an archaic set of standards that they barely pretend to live up to.

Before they’re done they take it upon themselves to press the flesh of their hypocrisy on as many as they can find and it means nothing to them that their beliefs have no place in politics, particularly if they are to remain sacred. Those beliefs aren’t sacred, they are for sale.

Anyway. Forgive me. It’s just that despite how much this matters, it’s still really stupid.

Try really hard not to be stupid.

Drinks for my friends.

I want to talk about politics.

There’s not fuck all to say. Same as it’s been for a week. For the first time in a long time, I’m not engrossed, pissed or excited.

The Reverend Wright conflagration seems to finally be on the wane. For this I’m grateful because he merely spoke the truth, as unpalatable as it was for those who are fond of plunging their heads into the sand.

I loathed the entire spectacle because he not only spoke from a justifiably angry heart, Senator Obama refused to disown him out of loyalty and integrity. There was a certain beauty and honesty to the story that America missed because the media didn’t foist it on a steaming platter.

They chose the opposite. The simpler of the two. I’m pretty sure they did that because they think we’re all stupid. I’m not surrounded by brain surgeons and physicists, are you?

He did the right thing.

Dominating the over twenty four hour news cycle this last week is whether Shrillary should walk away or not. No mad fuck opinion here. Once the primary process plays out, given the writing is on the wall, I would take exception if she doesn’t act responsibly. Otherwise, I’ve no real dog in this hunt and neither should you.

It’s very unlikely that Superdelegates will even attempt to subvert the will of the people. In the context of a gigantically criminal, incredibly specific and therefore surgically effective disenfranchisement that’s gone on for eight years, particularly unto Democrats, I’m assuming we all agree that would be really fucking stupid.

The reason I’m not running for President is I would have invited that bitch to take a walk. With her husband. You two are a serious braintrust; do the math. Not gonna happen unless maybe Billary has an an early October suprise.

There’s still a lot of us that are at least scared enough to forget to hope.

Don’t forget how crazy it is. A powerful and ominous cleric in Iraq with his own army, gets a bug up his ass and chaos occurs with a finger snap. We really have that shit under control.

I’m get some solace from the idea that Muqtada al-Sadr is making our Little Bootlicker McCain look like a doddering chimp.

Did you see the clip of Lieberman schooling Doubtfire?

I loathe Lieberman.

Doubtfire has hitched his little red tricycle to this ridiculous turned pathetic war and “The Surge”. Oh, and permanent tax cuts for the wealthy and “overhauling” social security. How much you wanna bet he’s already got presenile dementia?

The economy is swirling down the shitter. Tricycles don’t float.

Biggest, best, boldest thing we can do for the economy is end the war and start investing in infrastructure. See, that can be steady enduring jobs, education, more money in the community and less for the plutocracy, the corporate monoliths. The evil pricks.

It’s not just freeways and potholes. I’m imagining government sponorship of R&D and technology for green and environmentally responsible industries. Like it or not, that is our future. Or we’re all dead.

Here comes Al Gore. He’s not interested in politics. He’s gonna Guru. I say let him.

This is what it is. If you ask one hundred Americans who their ultimate President would be, probably twenty or thirty would have different, unique answers. This whole thing will ultimately be decided by one or two, maybe five, in a hundred.

See what I’m saying? Keep your eyes on the ball.

Drinks for my friends.

Condoleezza Rice is a Vulcan!

This has nothing to do with the following.

Merely my most recent epiphany. Think she could mind meld with The Horta or do the grip?

Wanna know what I like most about this week so far?

Not much really, it’s been shit, except:

Well, it’s our little Bootlicker. First he fires a missile at Barack about the existence of Al Qaeda in Iraq. Our man swats it down with a yawn, a wink and a grin by pointing out that they certainly had no presence there before we wrongfully invaded.

Duh! Lunch is on us this week. If McCain thinks he’s gonna come out on top on the issue of Iraq with around seventy percent of Americans wanting us the hell out of there………well, I’d like to have his number because I think I’ve got a rusty Ford Pinto he may want to buy.

See, the comedy/irony of it all, is that He intends to do just that.

Buy the rusty Ford Pinto.

He’s running on the war! The Surge! Evil! Brown people!

He’s gonna lose because of that and the economy. He wants to keep those cuts to the wealthy permanent. Sheezus.

This very bitter pill, Doubtfire will wrangle down his gullet with those oversized jowls he’s been developing in anger since high school wrestling. Against Obama, some teeth will likely be the chaser. Poor bastard.

But then, Doubtfire swung hard on Bill Cunningham for ugly and overt histrionics. For mocking and ridiculing our man for the unfortunate coincidence of having the middle name “Hussein”.

McCain said, “My entire campaign I have treated Sen. Obama and Sen. Clinton with respect,” McCain said. “I will continue to do that throughout this campaign.” -Cincinnati Business Courier

Asked whether the use of Obama’s middle name — the same as former Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein — is proper, McCain said: “No, it is not. Any comment that is disparaging of either Senator Clinton or Senator Obama is totally inappropriate.” -Crooks and Liars.

Fuck this guy. If the Bootlicker needs him to win, then the bootlicker is fine with losing. Pretty cool. I like that Doubtfire has no patience with the intolerant. He denounced Robertson and Falwell you know. He called them “agents of intolerance”.

This guy Bill Cunningham, is the epitome of what’s wrong with “broadcast journalism”. He is, one word, a completefuckingidiot. Another word, anachronism. To suggest that Obama’s middle name is somehow even relevant to this Presidential contest and the future of our country, is the worst kind of backward ass, ignorant motherfucking racist and despicable shit I’ve ever seen. Who is this piece of shit? He speaks with the same whack-job vacuous eyes of Zell “spitball” Miller.

Worse than Limbaugh, and don’t you know his big hypocritical ass piled on.

I mean really. You have got to be fucking kidding me.

Kudos and points for the Bootlicker. Incidentally, the reason I’ve given, nay bestowed, the moniker of Bootlicker upon him is his embarrassing and shameless embrace of Dumbya after being mercilessly smeared by Dick-in-Bush and Rove et. al. in two thousand. It was disgraceful. Painful to witness. A maverick indeed.

Well, whatever, he did the right thing the other day and it will cost him. For that, he should be commended. I may go back to calling him sparkplug or maybe even fire hydrant.

Of course, it will further marginalize the neoconservative blowhards on the radio. I wonder if the posse of old white “broadcast journalists” factored that in. For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Toss bags.

Drinks for my friends.

What hubris. What a dick. He’s lost five fucking times. He managed to capture .03 percent of the vote last time. Not even enough for his party to qualify for federal campaign funds.

I admire Nader, but it’s getting more difficult to do so. If his intent is to raise the level of discourse, I must cast aspersion, that window has closed. He’s clearly not the right guy.

Many believe he cost Gore the race in two thousand. Indeed, he may have. As did Rovian fuckery and the general malaise of voter fraud in Florida. That was a contest so thick with corruption some voters had to swim through it just to get to the flawed ballot.

He’s older than Doubtfire. Think he wears a diaper?

He would have us believe that his efforts are purely magnanimous and altruistic. Maybe he really owns that. That would make him a delusional dotard in my eyes. He would have us believe there’s virtually no difference between the Republicans and Democrats. He’s a goddamn fool because there is one glaring and profound asymmetry between them. It’s the war, you disingenuous fucktard.

What do you do with a man like this? Tough call, there’s a chance he’s sincere. Just like another politician, but this one’s been elected. Dumbya is more popular, at least among the stupider, because he is stupider. Both men may have the courage of their convictions. Of course, one mostly right and the other almost completely wrong.

I can’t help but see a larger, older, smarter and generally dissimilar doppelganger here.

Both, at the very least, infected with Lead Singer Disease. Yep, narcissism and delusions of granduer.

At the end of the day, two goddamn fools that can’t help but be full of themselves at the expense of us all.

See what I’m saying?

Drinks for my friends.

Once the shouting ended, it was ultimately about a word I loathe somewhat. “Presidential”. If it can be defined as who one can most realistically picture as President of The United States, so be it. Still, it’s meaning is nebulous and very subjective and I think likely to be an intellectually dishonest concept.

He is certainly more selfless in his answers than she is. He simply has more charisma and composure.

Hillary closed very strong with a very poignant sentiment. She did however, stumble into a flaming pile of shit on her flogging of the plagiarism thing. She cancelled out the magnanimity she finished with.

Let me say this. There were certain instances where she did shine. When she said with gravity that we all knew she’d seen some shit. She didn’t suck. I was reminded how smart she is.

If there was an actual victor, it was brainspank endorsee Barack Obama. Despite that, it was remarkably civil and I was generally pleased at the conviviality of it all. Again, the truth is, despite my personal preference, we will be better off by far with either of these two. Things are looking up.

I see no reason for any additional debates at this point.

I want this man as my President. He is smarter than I am. I like that. I deserve that and so do you.

I also have to say, Obama stands a far better chance at handing McCain his ass come November. It’s obvious to me he’s far more formidable in that context than would be Hills, if for no other reason than his voting record on this dumb fucking war. I honestly believe that is something we forget at our peril.

We have no evidence whether Doubtfire is wearing a diaper or not.

Drinks for my friends.