Archive for the ‘Bill Clinton’ Category

Shrillary got her clock cleaned last night in North Carolina, she was able to come up long enough for a gulp in Indiana.

Today we learn she’s loaned herself another six million plus.

The other shoe fell from forty stories in slow motion and made a nuclear racket that no amount of movie theater subwoofers could hope to reproduce. George McGovern, a very loyal and long time Clinton ally, flopped all over the Pantsuit today. He withdrew his support, threw it behind Obama and humbly suggested she take a walk.

Obama talked to us last night and was brilliant. Give this man a microphone and he will park a ball with it.

I popped a vike and spent some time smoking and drinking and engaging in somnambulance while the Pantsuit bleated.

I watched the highlights, but they confused me. She was conciliatory at first, I actually guessed out loud that she was conceding at one point. Chelsea’s chin was wrinkling and she looked to be on the verge. Bill’s face was a bad news shade of crimson.

I was like, hmmmmm. Cool.

She did the strangest thing then, she revved her motor and left the line tires smoking. She hollered no brakes ’til 1600 Pennsylvania. Showed up in West Virginia fifty minutes later, motor oil on her face. Wierd.

Think she’s bucking for assistant manager?

Could very well be a power move.

They, Billary, are too smart for it to be hubris alone.

She’s determined to collect support and voters while consolidating as much power and influence as she can. She will continue until she can’t. She’ll then take those tools and present them as a chip with which to bargain. Or she’ll wield them as leverage. It’s possible she will brandish them as weapons.

I could be wrong. I just got to thinking.

Whatever she does, the imperative is to be gracious. She WILL exit. That is unless, somehow she’s able, in the next three weeks, to catch him raping an underage white woman. It’s sick that she’s willing to wait for that.

She absolutely must walk away with dignity and class. Campassion, courtesy and humility.

There is no doubt he will handle her concession with decency, aplomb and a sincere lack of vanity.

So now you know what I’m looking for, the way I hope it plays.

Whatever her move is, so be it. She ran hard but she is the second horse in this race and the time for her to act accordingly is nearly upon her.

Drinks for my friends.

I was reluctant to even address it. I was naive enough to think it was a dead or dying story. So overtly silly. I was wrong about it’s legs, but not about it being an incredibly stupid issue.

Our man Obama suggesting the downtrodden are bitter. Here’s the dumb part: They say he’s an elitist because of that rather benign, yet truthful observation.

Shrillary ran an ad today exploiting said concept. That woman is shameless.

I honestly can’t believe this shit.

I wasn’t so amazed when Jon Stewart revealed we’re on the same page tonight. No call beforehand, he never does. I was gratified when Jeffrey Toobin from CNN pretty much called it like saw it. Cool.

Ever notice how CSI Miami is version 2.0 of Miami Vice on HGH, but stupider? I watch five minutes until Daltrey screams and move on.

Anyway. There was goddamn hours long analysis of of this disgusting lump of head cheese tonight on every network as well as cable news.

Somebody help me out here. Who’s making all this Kool Aid? Who’s distributing it? Why are they drinking it?

I’ll bet it’s grape or cherry. Shit, it’s both.

Is this in any way as serious as lying about being under sniper fire on a diplomatic visit in a foreign country?

I’ve been on the fence about Shrillary riding this horse until Denver. She’s a close second and therefore a viable candidate. Who are we to deny her a finish in this race?

I no longer think that way. Too many glimpses into her toy box. I am done. She needs to walk away. She didn’t slam that shot, she sipped it. Bad form.

That’s her new name. Shrillary Bad Form.

You know what I hate? It’s the naked desperation. They are pale and sweaty as they utter this crap about being one of us as opposed to a black man from Chicago who worked his way up. It’s hard to watch because it’s so simple and because it’s bullshit. Doubtfire is descended from admirals. The Billary sits atop hundreds of millions.

McCain and Clinton are mired so enthusiastically and pathetically in this impetuousness, it’s become compelling evidence our man Obama can and will beat both of them.

There is fear in their hearts and they can’t hide it.

They want our man by the side of the road so they can have cold passionless reptile sex.

I’ve gone too far.

In all seriousness, Senator Barack Obama is no longer the mere best of three, He is the only one that has proven he deserves to lead you. Us.

Watch the ball. Don’t be stupid.

Drinks for my friends.

I want to talk about politics.

There’s not fuck all to say. Same as it’s been for a week. For the first time in a long time, I’m not engrossed, pissed or excited.

The Reverend Wright conflagration seems to finally be on the wane. For this I’m grateful because he merely spoke the truth, as unpalatable as it was for those who are fond of plunging their heads into the sand.

I loathed the entire spectacle because he not only spoke from a justifiably angry heart, Senator Obama refused to disown him out of loyalty and integrity. There was a certain beauty and honesty to the story that America missed because the media didn’t foist it on a steaming platter.

They chose the opposite. The simpler of the two. I’m pretty sure they did that because they think we’re all stupid. I’m not surrounded by brain surgeons and physicists, are you?

He did the right thing.

Dominating the over twenty four hour news cycle this last week is whether Shrillary should walk away or not. No mad fuck opinion here. Once the primary process plays out, given the writing is on the wall, I would take exception if she doesn’t act responsibly. Otherwise, I’ve no real dog in this hunt and neither should you.

It’s very unlikely that Superdelegates will even attempt to subvert the will of the people. In the context of a gigantically criminal, incredibly specific and therefore surgically effective disenfranchisement that’s gone on for eight years, particularly unto Democrats, I’m assuming we all agree that would be really fucking stupid.

The reason I’m not running for President is I would have invited that bitch to take a walk. With her husband. You two are a serious braintrust; do the math. Not gonna happen unless maybe Billary has an an early October suprise.

There’s still a lot of us that are at least scared enough to forget to hope.

Don’t forget how crazy it is. A powerful and ominous cleric in Iraq with his own army, gets a bug up his ass and chaos occurs with a finger snap. We really have that shit under control.

I’m get some solace from the idea that Muqtada al-Sadr is making our Little Bootlicker McCain look like a doddering chimp.

Did you see the clip of Lieberman schooling Doubtfire?

I loathe Lieberman.

Doubtfire has hitched his little red tricycle to this ridiculous turned pathetic war and “The Surge”. Oh, and permanent tax cuts for the wealthy and “overhauling” social security. How much you wanna bet he’s already got presenile dementia?

The economy is swirling down the shitter. Tricycles don’t float.

Biggest, best, boldest thing we can do for the economy is end the war and start investing in infrastructure. See, that can be steady enduring jobs, education, more money in the community and less for the plutocracy, the corporate monoliths. The evil pricks.

It’s not just freeways and potholes. I’m imagining government sponorship of R&D and technology for green and environmentally responsible industries. Like it or not, that is our future. Or we’re all dead.

Here comes Al Gore. He’s not interested in politics. He’s gonna Guru. I say let him.

This is what it is. If you ask one hundred Americans who their ultimate President would be, probably twenty or thirty would have different, unique answers. This whole thing will ultimately be decided by one or two, maybe five, in a hundred.

See what I’m saying? Keep your eyes on the ball.

Drinks for my friends.

Looks like I’m all but forced to weigh in on this ugliness yet again. I’m doing so because well, Hillary did so today with all the panic, recklessness and shameless irresponsibility of a desperate woman who again demonstrates a glaring sense of entitlement for our nation’s Presidency.

I’m sure you’re all aware That Senator Obama delivered a compassionate, sincere and very personal disquisition on race in America last week in response to his Reverend’s sermons from the lectern. A speech that was as refreshing in it’s honesty and eloquence as was the absence of a cowardly mea culpa or spineless abandonment of a life long friend.

He took the onus off himself and placed it squarely on us. He did so by talking to us like adults.

I’m compelled to point out; a fair amount of what Reverend Wright said was true.

As she read from a prepared statement in response to a question today, she essentially said she indeed would have walked away from that church and it’s Reverend and followed up with the callow observation that we are free to choose our friends but not our relatives.

I don’t buy this shit for a minute. This, a transparent attempt to draw attention away from a blatant and chronic lie about ducking and hiding from sniper fire in Bosnia, by exploiting racial divisivness in the same breath. The only chance Shrillary has is to keep as many white people from voting for Obama as possible. The most efficient means of course, play the race card.

Hillary, you ingnorant slut.

You continue to disappoint. My own mother mentioned she glimpsed a cut-throat passive aggressiveness in you that she’d only observed in the very worst of her female bosses.

Nevermind that your efforts may ultimately be the Democratic party’s demise in a season that was once filled with possibility, potential and hope. Nevermind how proud and delighted I was to have our very first woman and our very first black man as genuine and viable candidates for the leader of the free world and for the longest time, race and gender were not at issue. Nevermind what you and your husband have done to soil what was shaping up to be a glistening Clinton legacy. Nevermind all of that and more.

Have you no shame? No integrity? Is there a line that you won’t cross in order to clutch that brass ring?

If for no other reason than your own posterity, I implore you to let it fucking go. You are embarrassing us. You are staining this process. You ARE an embarrassment to America.

Take a lesson from your own daughter, who when asked about Monica Lewinsky today, you know the intern that sucked your husbands dick, told the questioner it was none of their business. I would suggest that to be far more appropriate an answer as opposed to your obviously prepared remarks today.

And by the way, for you to allow James Carville’s cheap shot comparison of Governor Richardson to Judas without immediate repudiation is just more of the same. Shame on you. Rovian tactics indeed.

It is largely up to you whether or not this contest becomes a protracted battle in Denver this summer. If you allow that, it most certainly will be at the expense of us all. The time for you to walk away is fast approaching. Do the math.

Drinks for my friends.

Fuck me. The sheer indignance for her to suggest she’s being persecuted for her remarks because she’s white is astounding.

“Racism works in two different directions. I really think they’re attacking me because I’m white. How’s that?” -Geraldine Ferraro

You have got be fucking kidding me.

They’re attacking you because you’re a stupid bitch.

Geraldine Ferraro has without reservation or mitigation stepped into a flaming pile of shit. World Class Stupid. To not apologize or even attempt to show remorse for the way her words have even been percieved, is really fucking dumb. Barack Obama is “lucky” to be black, and that he would not be where he is today “if he were a white man” or “a woman.” These words coming from the first ever female candidate for Vice President of the United States.

Irresponsibly incincendiary and egregiously thoughtless. It wasn’t but a few weeks ago that Shrillary attempted to make meat and potatos of Louis Farrakhan’s endorsement of our man Obama. An event that he handled gracefully and with aplomb on live television.

Shame on you Hillary, for allowing this brand of aspersion to glimpse another news cycle without anything but resounding denouncement. After you, without hesitation, condemn tactics by your opponent as being out of the dirty politics of Karl Rove’s playbook not long ago, over criticism of your health care plan.

Baby, you’re starting to really suck. As much as your husband embarrassed you, you have become a desperate humiliation to his legacy. Keep reaching down instead of up and you will find both hands empty as a result of your tragic willingness to squander.

I used to like you. You have become as transparent as a cellophane wrapper over the head of an asphyxiated toddler. That’s pretty rough, I know. What I’m trying to say here is that the blue toddler is a metaphor for hope. Yeah, that smacks of pollyanna. Fucking sue me.

We as a nation are actually responding to hope. It’s gorgeous.

On the other hand, I can’t stand what’s going on here.

We all, regardless of race or gender, have our own issues with race and gender. I’m no fool. I believe the idea is to recognize them and endeavor to change them. Being accountable for your own sets of bias or prejudice should be the beginning of humility.

I guess that doesn’t happen to everybody.

Geraldine Ferraro should go blow Elliot Spitzer.

Drinks for my friends.

She smiles too much.

It was Hills, not Shrillary on Stewart tonight.

From the latest issue of Hustler Magazine in the bathroom on the left at work, Larry Flynt calls for civil war. Maybe he means civil disobedience, I’m not sure.

Anyway, Stewart did allright.

I’ve just either had a millisecond long flashback, or my Mac just took my fucking picture. Weird. Yes, it has a camera in it.

Sorry. Stewart flirted with shades of purple in terms of obsequiousness. Ass to mouth? Yes. Copious rimming? No. A complete absence of tongue. He was deferential.

There’s a literary term I think I first picked up from Stephen King. Suspension of disbelief. It refers to the willingness of the reader to forget he or she is reading a story. Or watching a movie, etc.

Hills has none of that. I’m not here to impugn her patriotism or sincerity in wanting to do some good in America. I’m saying I don’t believe her smile, her laugh or her anger. I don’t buy it. It wreaks of calculation.

Where is Triumph The Insult Dog when you need him?

I admit, it’s from the gut. In a venue that deserves more attention from my head. I can’t help it though, there is something very very wrong about that woman. Maybe it’s as simple as all defense shields set on full.

This from yours truly, who could at least go platonically gay for our first black President, William Jefferson Clinton. Every time I hear that, it sounds more retarded.

Doubtfire will have his wrinkled and puckered ass served to him on one of those flimsy paper plates with an already bent spork. Were he to be elected, I’m positive his heart would explode in his chest like a fruit pie dropped from a parking structure before his first term begins to flop like a fish that mistook Georgia asphalt in the summer for a cool pond in the shade.

Sorry about that. I get to entertain myself at the same time.

Tomorrow night might just be the most compelling night in the history of televised politics.

Drinks for my friends.

http://www.iht.com/articles/ap/2008/03/04/arts/Clinton-Stewart.php

So we learn today that the New York Times will publish a story tomorrow detailing alleged improprieties between Doubtfire and a lobbyist named Vicki Iseman.

I really don’t give a mad fuck whether McCain got his stinger wet or not. I didn’t care whether or not Big Bad Bill did either. It’s just not my business. It’s a serious matter, but a matter between the men in question and their families. It is just not our business. Peroid.

Get the fuck over it. If you care, you’re a loser. This message brought to you by my Council For Common sense and my Life Is Too Short……….See what I’m Saying? Coalition.

If, on the other hand favors were granted, special consideration extended, Minden/Gardenerville, we have a problem. As much as I make fun of the Little Bootlicker and doubt that his stinger has even approached tumescence in at least a decade, I have always believed him to possess a modicum of integrity. I would be happy to know these allegations are false.

Is he friends with Bob Dole?

I’m of the opinion that Doubtfire is essentially a good but profoundly misguided man. Somewhat of a dipshit. Yet still, a man with the courage of his convictions, as ridiculously stupid as they may be. I would be loathe to see this as a defining moment. To have it somehow be the pivot in the most important election in American history. It would inevitably soil the process and somewhat spoil it for me.

Although it says very little, he is the best they’ve got and I’d like to see a fair fight.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Hills has lost her mojo. She is looking more and more like a real estate agent, one I’d be happy to have, as she is an ass kicker. Less and less Presidential. Hard to watch.

They debate tomorrow night. I’ll be there. She’ll be stumbling out to a ninth round and it will be interesting to see what she brings.

She’s short, Obama likes to punch down.

By the way, we’ve proven we can blow a satellite out of orbit. It was doing seventeen thousand miles an hour while the Navy rocket was doing like five thousand. Ten second window.

I could do it. If I could practice on less important satellites for a few years.

Then I learn China has already pulled this off.

Drinks for my friends.

“calls into question the premise of his candidacy”
That motherfucking pisses me off.

I’m a writer, so is Mr. Obama. I lift from my consciousness and my unconciousness. The filter is off. I’m happy to quote someone and give them credit. I cite sources. But the filter is off.

He shared an appreciation with his friend, Massachusetts Governor Deval Patrick, of inspirational quotes by other historic Americans. There were but two commonalities between the speeches. The aforementioned sharing of enthusiasm for phrases that should be of public domain (if they are not already), and the concept that they are not “just words”.

Well, no shit they’re not just words: I have a dream. We hold these truths to be self-evident. That all men are created equal.

They don’t even need quotes.

Plagiarism? Please. He was giving his buddy a wink and a nod at most.

It smacks of desperation and it’s beginning to spoil the taste of Clinton accomplishments past. It’s shrill. Sorry Hills, but yer playin like a bitch.

The latest Bill Clinton “meltdown” was not that at all. It was passion. As simple as a goddamn eye booger is, even after a shower. Sheezus.

He was being heckled by pro lifers at an event and he said, I’m just going to paraphrase here………..I gave you your answer and we disagree, you want to criminalize women and their doctors and we disagree. Then he goes on to defend his record and Hillary’s position with clarity and specifics while simultaneously ripping the dipshit who would heckle Bill Clinton into little of slices bologna on an issue as retard proof as abortion.

Passion.

By the way, the first place I found a link to the Vid was on a very conservative website. Seriously, the site is called Hillbilly white trash. It would be against my religious beliefs to post a link.

The rest of this crap, I gleaned from CNN. I don’t think of them as the end all, but for fucks sake. Slow news day?

I’m sorry children, but if there’s nothing else to do. I mean, if you’re bored, play outside, because your whining and moaning annoy me. It is the last thing we need. It’s bad enough that the Clintons are pissing on Obama’s shoes and and you give oxygen to that at all. Then, you try to sensationalize a passionate and truthful counterpunch at a fucktard heckler by spinning it as a meltdown.

Shame the fuck on you. You dirty bastards are half the goddamn problem. No sack, but a sneaky underhanded temerity for villifying and exaggerating. Days like today, I loathe your shit.

Goddamn media: -1
Goddamn Billary: -1
Obama: 0

Drinks for my friends.

Hills has been bracing for heavy weather all day. Well, much longer than that.

Barack Obama.

The Clinton machine fully expected to be holding it’s ass in front of itself by sunset here in the West today.

I know, huh?

What?

The boat of Billary is taking on water.

It’s a big ass boat, she’s begun to toss a few over the rail. Patti Solis Doyle, campaign manager, will be replaced by Mary Tyler Moore. I mean Maggie Williams.

No apologies; no shit, she’s black.

Is it a good idea to have a middle name in the Hillary Rodham Clinton campaign? Oh, and today we hear of the resignation of Deputy Campaign Manager Mike Henry. What of William Jefferson Clinton?

Make no mistake. This is a contemporary dynasty on the ropes. This really is history. Goddamn this is interesting. And compelling and portentous. I hope you people are watching. I hope you’re singing along.

It is nuts. I’m really worried reality TV fucktards will smell how cool this is and start tuning in and voting. Sheezus. With an abruptness so complete it will have it’s own violent sound, The Great Unwashed will stumble to the polls and chaos will be a way of life shortly thereafter and forever.

Sometimes I can’t believe the shit I talk.

Tonight, he’s simultaneously ice blue cool and incendiary. He’s commanding the votes of women, seniors, the youth, rural, suburban, metro and every income demographic. It is amazing. The audacity of hope indeed.

Momentum. Inertia.

Momentum: “force or speed of movement; impetus, as of a physical object or course of events”.

Inertia: “Physics The tendency of a body to resist acceleration; the tendency of a body at rest to remain at rest or of a body in straight line motion to stay in motion in a straight line unless acted on by an outside force.”

Outside force, apparently not factoring in.

He is a human hurricane. Category three and gaining strength.

His speech tonight is in Madison Wisconsin. I made the biggest record of my career in that charming town some twelve or thirteen years ago. I remember thinking how nice everyone was after spending a decade in LA. They were normal and helpful and friendly. I winced when my soon to be rockstar client was rude to almost everyone we came in contact with.

He speaks with grace, humility and power. He owns just exactly where he is.

“Cynicism is a sorry kind of wisdom”, he says. Excellent.

CNN cuts to Doubtfire and I am struck dumb by the contrast.

He says literally nothing, save for threatening that a Democrat will compromise your values, your wallet and your safety. Yawn. Never heard that one before.

The current Republican administration has with brutal and unflinching efficacy, with malice even, harpooned America’s pockets, her pride and the respect and strength she once enjoyed under the global proscenium.

War. War. War. I don’t dislike McCain. He’s had the shit kicked out of him in a way that we simply cannot begin to comprehend. It makes it all the more shameful on his part that he has actually suggested publicly our occupation in Iraq should last a century. For what fuckhead? Oil? If it’s not obsolete by then, the entire world, not to mention the human race, will be facing the end of days.

For a man who’s literally had the shit beaten from him, he is full to bursting with it.

He is right on one thing. It just happens to be a very important thing. Torture. Important, too bad that’s all he’s learned.

His positions and policies on every other vital issue are underthought, intellectually dishonest and bereft of the merest modicum of common sense. Permanent tax cuts for the rich, a war without end……………….

Yes, this man is a dipshit.

Doubtfire, the bootlicker stands not a chance.

The calculus is thus: A man who is in touch versus a man who is out of touch.

Do the math.

Peace.

Drinks for my friends.

Those of you that have been reading me for awhile, may recall that my take on the last State of The Union was titled “No babies in garbage disposals”. A not so subtle nod towards the populist pablum. Tonight was more of the same.

He still insisted on mispronouncing ‘nuclear’ six or seven times and stubbornly whipped the deceased equine carcass of social security, or “entitlements” in the euphemistic vernacular of the neocons. Fuck that. Social Security is not an entitlement. We pay in when we are young, it pays out when we are old.

More pointless and baseless saber rattling at Iran. Way Too many Democrats hauling asses out of seats for this particular round of applause. Sheezus.

I feel like an eight year old. I was bored and really, I just don’t give a mad fuck what Dumbya has to say anymore. He may still be dangerous, but his irrelavance metastasizes by the hour.

I found more intrinsic entertainment in the shifts of smirk Cheney wore behind Dumbya’s right shoulder. I was amused by the Republican lockstep of standing ovations.

C’mon you pinheads, you’ve got be fucking kidding me.

Perhaps it’s irresponsible and lazy, but to counter the address point by point would be futile and didactic. If you don’t realize how full of shit he is by now, you never will. Like I said, I just don’t care.

On a far more interesting note, Obama collected the endorsement of Senator Ted Kennedy as well as a glowing op-ed in the New York Times yesterday titled “A President Like My Father” written by Caroline Kennedy, daughter of JFK, in case you didn’t know. Now this, is heavy.

The momentum that Obama is gathering is formidable. Although still very early, it is of a brand that could thwart the Clinton Machine. Wow. A certain degree of credit goes to Barack himself. He’s demonstrated a not so simple grace in allowing the Clintons to make themselves look bad. Zen judo. Awesome.

Time to take a walk John. Don’t go too far.

Goddamn Super Tuesday will roar at us I hope.

Drinks for my friends.

60 Minutes has been the best show on network television for a lot longer than I can remember.

My least favorite crew member has always been Scott Pelley. Ever since he clumsily hammered Ahmadinejad when he visited last year, my disdain for him has swollen. He lacks suspension of disbelief. Seems like a dipshit sometimes.

I like that Anderson Cooper has joined. I’m thinking he should be Crew Chief of The Month. Brass rectangle added to the plaque and all.

I miss Ed Bradley. He was the coolest.

I realize that Pelley was probably put up to it by some CBS swine executive for mere schadenfreude. I still loathe him for it. It was dishonest on a global level.

Anyway, Prick JR. parked one tonight with his interview of George Piro. Mr. Piro was our government’s lead interrogator of Saddam Hussein. Absolutely compelling and fascinating. Enough for me to realize I was mouth breathing. What a coup for The Columbia Broadcasting System.

It was excellent TV; that’s all I’m saying.

Now. As you now know, Mr Obama prevailed spectacularly in South Carolina last night. My skirt is lifted by this gust of change.

I said early on that a black man with a last name that rhymes with Osama and a middle name that is Hussein, has virtually no chance of being President of The United States of America. I said that because I believed America to be sicker than she was.

I’m happy to be wrong. Very happy to be wrong.

There is a very tangible possibility that America will soon have it’s first Black President. I’m excited about this because it may just mean that American heads and hearts aren’t where I thought they were. Could it be these dark days were catalyst enough for some general epiphany?

Could this just be the right man for the right time?

I am happy to be wrong.

Let me just say this. We know know that MLK wasn’t perfect and JFK was barely able to maintain orbit. Then there’s Big Bad Bill. Bill was not your run of the mill house afire. I don’t give a mad fuck about that kinda shit.

I am concerned about Barack’s potential for efficacy. I’m not concerned about Hillary’s. She’ll get shit done. I worry about just how and where and what, however.

I digress. I am pleased and excited. Good stuff going on in America and I’m confident it’s indicative of an improving state of mind and over all better mental health.

Every effort has been made to slam our minds shut for the better part of eight years and a great many succumbed. Despite all that, we seem to be waking. Minds seem to be opening.

This man Obama can certainly be the wind to blow piss back into the faces of the complacent, apathetic and ignorant. The greedy and the powerful.

Make no mistake, if America elects this man, the entire world will exhale and relax a little. They will. That’s what I’m talking about.

I can’t know how well he would govern us. But he is smart, wise and confident. I am impressed. He is as real as they get on a stage so elevated.

For what it’s worth, George W. Bush is real too, he’s just really stupid.

Drinks for my friends.

I just need to talk about a few things here.

First up, this retarded stimulus package Republicans and Democrats alike are toothlessly masticating each other’s genitals over. Six hundred dollars (!) for each of us grossing less than seventy five thousand a year.

You have got to be fucking kidding me.

What they’re hoping is, we’ll go out and blow that magnanimous sum and the economy will just explode and all will be sunshine and rainbows.

You have got to be fucking kidding me.

That’s the plan?

I’m insulted.

Six hundred bucks buys me about three hours in a Vegas titty bar with a couple of clients. Brilliant.

Or, I could score just enough booze and blow to rationalize hiring a hooker, likely succumb to whiskey dick and the subsequent ego deflation that accompanies losing one’s wood and/or never achieving it to begin with.

As a Southern California resident, were I to earmark said funds for more pragmatic utilization, it would mitigate approximately a third of my monthly rent. Less than that of a mortgage note or a month’s payment on a decent car.

Republicans and Democrats have reached out to each other for your benefit and are now offering a medium size self adhering gauze bandage for your middle class ass hemorrhage. The bastards of the beltway are powerful sorry about the diabetes they gave you and would like for you to have a cookie.

I understand the proposal also provides for “business incentives”.

I really hate these guys.

Apparently, while we spend over half a million a minute in Iraq, fiscal conservatives are wringing their sweaty hands over what this may do to the budget deficit.

Thank Jesus someone is watching the foxes play with the hens.

On a profoundly sad note, my favorite little paste eater announced he was leaving the circus today. How sad that the roaring mouse has thrown in the towel. The ONLY one with the courage, integrity and honesty to speak the truth consisitently about where we are and what we must do, is left with no choice but to save his congressional seat so that he may fight again to effect desperately needed change another day. May the powers that exist, forever favor you Mr. Dennis Kucinich. Many of us will miss your valuable contribution to what is obviously the most important political discourse thus far for all of us.

Next. From this blog on January nine:

“The Bill & Hillary machine is awesome, however. What we saw was that impressive apparatus in swift and purposeful motion at the bottom of the ninth in the second game of seven. Very impressive.

Here they come. I told ya.”

And from this blog on January four:

“I’ve alluded to to the Clintonian acumen for brawling. You’re about to see a full frontal and it will most likely get ugly. We’re about to witness how smart she really is. I can’t help but think that if she starts tossing turds, she’ll be courting the dirt nap.

Fascinating to watch Bill’s big brain churning behind his eyes as he stood to her left while she spoke. I found myself waiting for steam to to rocket from every orifice in his head.

She tossed not a single turd.”

It’s true, Bill Clinton, a man whom I celebrate and adore, needs to count to ten. I won’t address this specifically except to to say that policy is what is is germane here. That, and desperation is almost always ugly.

Last but not least, Hillary and McCain won the nod from The New York Times today. The NYT said this about Skeletor, who is fighting for third in Florida:

“The New York paper said it could not endorse Giuliani, describing the city’s former mayor as a “narrow, obsessively secretive, vindictive man” whose “arrogance and bad judgment are breathtaking.”

Ha!

Drinks for my friends.

Chelsea is hot.

I really think so.

“I think I’m turning Japanese, I think I’m turning Japanese, I really think so” – The Vapors.

Anyway.

They did swing hard. Some good stuff. We like a good dustup between mostly like and right minded people.

Obama does very well. He’s taller and tends to throw his punches down. He really is impressive.

Hills takes punches and throws uppercuts like Roberto Duran. She is tough and fascinating.

I do believe Obama’s remarks about Reagan are what they are. His point was that Reagan was a transformative president, no value placed, good or bad.

I think he was alluding to Ronnie being able to so effectively snow so many rednecks and the great unwashed. See, Reagan sucked and he was, in the contemporary tradition of Republican presidents, an absolute out of touch dipshit.

Ronald Reagan was a human hurricane for the have nots. Let me be clear here; Reagan fucking sucked.

Russia was broken on the backs of our middle class and poor. And the rich began to get richer.

Reaganomics. Trickle down. Shut the fuck up. He was an actor, and not a great one by any stretch.

Ok, sorry.

Edwards is a class act. My mother was a delegate in the Nevada caucuses and she was there for Edwards. I agree with her. He is the best of the three. She wasn’t able to make it happen. He got his “butt kicked”.

I would like to see Edwards prevail in South Carolina. A little leveling of the field would be healthy and his is a good voice in this contest. The man has integrity.

To one degree or another, I like them all. It’s not perfect, but we are lucky. This is an excellent group. Intelligent and passionate.

Then there is the big picture. The entertainment value. Not since the last time a diminutive jug eared paste eater waded in (Perot/Kucinich), has the contest for leader of the free world been so compelling.

Sometimes I wax pessimistic and realize that what we have here is the best of a worse case scenario. Our country is so broken. I understand that not one of these three may be capable or even desirous of the profound shift we absolutely need.

America is in a very bad way. Yet, despite which one prevails, it is a long step in the right direction. I really can’t afford to think about whether any one of them can do enough. Probably not.

But you know, small steps?

Drinks for my friends.

Hillary prevails because the women of New Hampshire saw her tear up. Obama carried women in Iowa. He didn’t in New Hampshire.

Who carried the Gays?

Stay with me.

I do wish Edwards had somehow been able to maintain the trifecta. Here, the difference of deep pockets glares at us. Shame on you New Hampshire. He is clearly the best of the three, at least in terms of message.

Ralph Reed is on CNN. What the hell is he doing there? I loathe this bastard. Christian Coalition fucktard. But wait, he just said what I said about Hillary. What should I do with that? Does’t matter, he’s a dickhead.

Ron Paul wrestling with Skeletor for fourth makes me grin like a poor kid with a new bike.

Looks like Richardson will take his ball home. No big loss but a good man.

Record Democratic turnout and Republican voters are actually down. The poor kid with the new bike just got a new bell and a sparkly gold banana seat.

Wolf Blitzer sucks.

Edwards is tired and so is his speech. It is true, righteous even, but tired. No original chords or melodies. Yet still, good populist stuff. Honest. The best message out there. He tells us he’s staying in the fight. That’s good news. He is the best of any of the horses running with the remotest chance of winning.

I’m afraid my favorite little paste eater is unable to hide the fork sticking out of him. Oh well. So much for massive balls and complete honesty. If the upcoming Democratic administration has an intellectual conscience, Kucinich will have a place in it. I’m not holding my breath.

The Associated Press has just forecast Hillary as the winner. There’s lots to be said for inertia. Momentum.

It may be premature, yet as I say this CNN is owning it. I’ve watched enough elections to agree.

Obama speaks. Very well. This guy is good. Really good. This time he actually references MLK. This man, is a goddamn rockstar. Confidence, charisma and composure. Half the reason I watch is to see this guy play.

Blue eyed murder in a sideswipe dress.

Hillary speaks. She has aged before me. She is metered. Measured. Following Obama is a bitch. No pun intended. She’s virtually Stepford after a master orator. She’s kinda plastic. She kinda sucks. Weak finish.

The Bill & Hillary machine is awesome, however. What we saw was that impressive apparatus in swift and purposeful motion at the bottom of the ninth in the second game of seven. Very impressive.

Here they come. I told ya.

The content was significantly more populist in both Democratic speeches.

You aren’t stupid. I know this because you’re here. I’m sure you can imagine me pulling the lever for whatever Democrat rises to the surface of this contest.

And that’s just what I’ll do.

It’s not that the Democrats are so great, although a few are, it’s that the Republicans suck so fucking much. McCain can’t even comb his own hair. Poor bastard. He’s the best they can do? He’s got a hard on for the war for painfully, and I do mean painfully, obvious reasons and I imagine he has some degree of PTS.

Dick-in-Bush snuck up behind and sucker punched him in 2000. When he woke up he was finished and bitter. Who wants this guy on the switch?

Hustler magazine has this regular feature where they render a photo of a female celebrity with a huge cock in her mouth. It’s hysterical. I know some folks over there and I’m going to call and request that they do the biggest blowhard on the planet, Mitt Romney.

Then there’s our man Skeletor. Fuck him.

Forgive me for not being able to take these assholes seriously.

Drinks for my friends.

Guiliani is an arrogant fool for taking a pass on Iowa. Bill Clinton didn’t wade in either, however. Bad Bill knew what he was doing and is at least twice as smart as Skeletor. Maybe four or five times. Really.

And yes, this is an entirely different ballgame.

Nothing from nothing means nothing.

A paradigm shift, nay, an upheaval, occurs while Skeletor cools his heels in Florida.

Change.

“The fierce urgency of now”.

Hillary loses by a tampon string to Edwards and both lose to Obama.

Huge.

Huckabee leaves Romney to regain consciousness with dirt in his mouth. Good. Romney is a douchebag.

All, nothing but good news.

I’ve alluded to to the Clintonian acumen for brawling. You’re about to see a full frontal and it will most likely get ugly. We’re about to witness how smart she really is. I can’t help but think that if she starts tossing turds, she’ll be courting the dirt nap.

Fascinating to watch Bill’s big brain churning behind his eyes as he stood to her left while she spoke. I found myself waiting for steam to to rocket from every orifice in his head.

She tossed not a single turd.

She was smooth.

Edwards, my beloved populist, was excellent. I’ve always been a sucker for his “Two Americas” theme.

Obama invoked a cadence not unlike MLK. He did shine. I was impressed. Is he a leader? I really don’t know. He is a fucking rockstar though.

Some guys like football. This shit mezmerises me.

We’re off to New Hampshire. I can only hope it will be as compelling.

Clearly this contest won’t end exactly as I wished. Yet, I must agree with the talking heads on CNN. The Americans in Iowa are telegraphing a profound desire for change.

See, this isn’t about a black man vs. a woman against an evangelical and/or a complete dipshit who believes in sacred underwear. This really is about a certain absolute thirst for as much change as we can get.

The best we can do is the most change we can realize. This gives me hope. I am optimistic and sanguine.

Encouraged, at the very least.

Oh boy.

Drinks for my friends.

Last night I discovered the ass end of a smoked turkey
frank in my pre-packaged tub of mediocre guacamole.

I’d left it as a sort of a subliminal gift for myself
the evening before.

When I first removed the lid it appeared like a human
digit. Coulda been a toe.

Then I traveled through time to when I left it there
the night before. How cool am I?

Any way, I gotta dump the shit box, take out some
trash and start some laundry.

You guys want a little rip?

Done kinda. Gotta line the trash can with the Hefty
stretch bag. Love those things, they always last
until the trash chute.

Seems like people are getting friendlier. I doubt
that will last.

Jack In The Box fish & chips are among the best
available. They don’t drop those bastards ’til you
order so there always piping hot. It’s good tartar
sauce and they have malt vinegar. I hardly ever eat
the fries. Worst fries in the industry.

How was your day?

Mine was pretty random. Went to
Chin Chin for lunch. Had shrimp toast, pan fried pork
dumplings, gift wrapped chicken and a glass of
sauvignon blanc. Read about Dumbya. Interesting
book.

I had them wrap up what was left……

The book of course, “Dead Certain” by Robert Draper.
Fascinating in it’s own way. There is less raw meat than I’d anticipated and to be honest, hoped for.

What it seems to be, is an honest and objective account that on the surface is somewhat vanilla. Very little moral estimation on Draper’s part. He walks a beguilingly non- judgemental line.

Draper does reveal both an extraordinarily disciplined administration and an appallingly inept one. In doing so, he lays bare a disciplined and inept chief executive who may not be the puppet the cynical among us believe him to be.

In many ways George W. Bush is a goddamn fool. Most of the ambulatory among us knew this. Yet we are left with the impression that he means well. No real evil in this man, merely a man in far over his head.

Here is a man with a falsely elevated sense of pride and entitlement, bolstered by a gang of sycophants that range from the obsequious to the greedy and right on through to filthy of heart and soul.

He thinks he’s leading effectively.

George W. Bush weeps often, yet otherwise buries self doubt and ethical imperative in a brutal exercise regimen and personal insecurity in a near religious optimism based entirely on candy coated clowns.

He has always been ambitious. He’s still an excellent cheerleader. He would have been far better for America had he stayed in baseball.

There is just as fine of a line between clever and stupid as there is between courage and stupid.

And as I complete this, Bill Clinton appears on a Jon Stewart rerun.

Oh man, this guy is something else.

I’m fresh off CNN and the internet and lotsa Dumbya clips.

The thousand foot cliff of contraposition beams like one of those giant fucking lenses shooting light into the night time pollution at a mall opening.

I don’t care where you stand on Bill Clinton, he is absolutely brilliant. Just how did we end up with unCurious George after eight years of William Jefferson Clinton?

Lucid, engaging, charismatic and sharp as a fucking tack.

Now he’s out there with his old friend and Nobel laureate Al Gore, doing their damndest to save the goddamn world.

Dumbya may not be a bad guy, his family might be pretty nice people.

Whatever. It’s just that despite any of that, they fucking suck.

Oh, and his reign has been at least the worst thing to happen to America since the agrarian age. I mean, his Presidency has been a nightmare of injustice, reckless spending, discrimination, reckless aggression, egregious disregard of the Constitution, secrecy, wiretapping, torture, violent rape and pillage of the middle class……….man I hate these fucks.

Anyway, I just imagined hiring a Saudi Royal to kidnap Ann Coulter and deposit her in a secret prison. I arrive at the undisclosed location and begin teabagging Ms. Coulter. Before long I close off her left nostril with my left index finger and piss up her right nostril with force sufficient to make the horse apple in her throat bob like a superball at the end of a rubber band being whipped by a paddle.

Drinks for my friends.

It occurs to me that of all the reasons to resist
impeachment of either of these two executive
dickheads, heh, the most compelling is the idea that
the Democrats, eyeing a possible win in ’08, are more
than happy to allow the consolidation of executive
power to continue so that they will literally be
seizing control upon prevailing on our electoral
college.

Pretty fucking scary. They already gave Dumbya an ass
pocket of torque to do whatever Cheney tells him when it
comes to penetrating the lives of our citizenry
without ever having to tell a single soul.

Then the bastards took a vacation.

My knee jerk was, “what a bunch of complete pussies”.
I was astonished that the dipshitocrats were still
ambulatory at all after literally folding in half when
their spines mysteriously evaporated after just one
round of the war funding bout.

Picture it. Really. Harry Reid, once a boxer, bent
so completely backward at the waist that his head
scrapes the ground as he stares from between his own
feet, his trunk pulled along by his legs like an
afterthought.

Turdblossom then flees the scene with his balloon head
buffeted by the velocity of his escape. A deal was
cut there kids. I doubt you’ll see anymore
persecution by our newly elected majority of America’s
very own Lex Luthor.

Maybe I’m naive, but I’m not sure how much I want
to know about this rabbit hole.

I’m not stupid. I understand that a lot of them sleep
in the same bed as well as share the same bathwater.
They may awkwardly mingle dicks given they’re
so clueless about homosexuality. Even the gay
ones.

Hillary and Obama lead both parties when it comes to
meeting big pharma at the crossroads and stuffing
their undergarments with filthy lucre.

Yet I still wonder just what the fuck is going on
here.

I am firmly of the opinion that it is the fundamental
responsibility of our legislative branch to seek
impeachment of our executive leaders for defying the
Constitution of The United States of America. Indeed,
for making such an egregious mess of everything they
have touched. For the nearly one million dead. And
for shamelessly lying about it every step of the way.

Regular Dick-in-Bush report cards qualify them for the short bus and helmets at the mall. Despite this, with the exception of Conyers and Kucinich, they refuse to even discuss it.

What gives?

Clinton got what I hope was a rockstar style hoovering
and lied about it. Nixon was actually complicit in
petty crimes and lied about it. In both instances
congress pretty much handed them their asses.

What gives?

What’s it going to take?

Do we need video of Cheney eating aborted babies with fucking
ketchup? Maybe he’ll use the wrong goddamn fork and
then we’ll nail his ass.

Like I said last time around, the damage is done. The
pooch has been raped with violence and merciless
repetition. America is now a poodle pulled along on one of those
skateboards from the fifties with metal wheels.

The rest of the world laughs, sheds a tear, sighs or
fears they who pull the crippled creature across the
world stage.

For seven years, the Democrats have been guilty of
aiding and abetting and there is no end in sight.

They want to pull the dog across the stage for awhile.

You have got be fucking kidding me.

Man I fucking hate these guys.

Drinks for my friends.

There is seldom more dangerous a thing than a stupid and misgiuded man who still has the courage of his convictions. When such a man is the leader of our country and by what is now a cruel default, the free world, you can bet your ass “We the people” are in serious trouble.

What are we going to do? Can we afford another sixteen months of this lawless and compassionless chaos? Our narrow eyed idiot leader thinks he’s doing God’s work. He says he talks to God, God talks to him and that is his unassailable consent to do as he pleases.

I must confess that even to this day, I don’t believe George W. Bush is a bad guy. Stupid? Yes. Perhaps even midly retarded, if only as a result of alcohol and cocaine abuse. Yet, I’d have few drinks with him. Enjoy myself while making fun at his expense; him none the wiser, of course. Sue me, poking fun at the willfully ignorant or just plain mentally challenged is a hobby of mine. I can’t help it, and really, they don’t know.

Now, am I of the opinion that everyone behind him is evil? Well, that’s an emphatic and adamant, Are You Fucking Kidding Me? Rove and Cheney are so black of heart and soul that light struggles to reflect off of their nearly hairless crowns. I sometimes wonder if they show up so infrequently in the media and on television because the cost of lighting their ugly and twisted visages is too exorbitant for all but the richest right wing media conglomerates.

I really hate those pricks.

Yesterday, we learned that the White House, which allows no light to escape, tirelessly invoked executive privilege yet again over d o c u m e n t s pertaining to the death of Patrick Tillman. Remember the lantern jawed member of the NFL that selflessly sacrificed his life for his country? A new low.

All reptiles have spines don’t they? Just exactly how does a vertebrate dance the Limbo so expertly? I mean, they’ve moved the bar so low that single celled organisms struggle to squeeze under it.

Labelling this latest act of douchebaggerry “Orwellian” insults the author. This is “Tales From The Crypt”. It is the stuff of fucking comic books. Shitty ones for nine year olds. With lots of places for you to color however you want.

You have got to be fucking kidding me.

Just one day before this, we learn Dumbya has ordered Harriet Miers, perhaps the least qualified individual to ever be nominated to the Supreme Court and former White House counsel, not to appear in front of the house judiciary committee after being subpoenaed to testify about the so far completely unexplained firings of eight federal prosecutors.

Apparently, not a single person in the entire Dick-in-Bush administration can remember who fired these people or why.

Gonzales, the now titular head of the DOJ, can’t remember a goddamn thing. He stinks. Forgive me, but this motherfucker stinks. He wears carp guts. His pockets runneth over with chum. Torture, illegal wiretapping, firing prosecutors who couldn’t find dirt on Democrats for voter fraud, he’s been there for all of it. All of it. He thinks the Geneva Conventions are “quaint”.

The day before that, Sara M. Taylor, former White House political director, answered whatever the fuck she felt like and didn’t answer whatever the fuck she didn’t feel like, after being subpoenaed by the same committee.

“In light of the president’s direction, I will answer faithfully those questions that are appropriate for a private citizen to answer, while also doing my best to respect the president’s directive that his staff’s communication be privileged.”

You have got to be fucking kidding me.

Also, on the day before yesterday, Dumbya admitted for the very first time, that “somebody” in his administration leaked the name of covert CIA operative Vallery Plame to the press, but whatever, it’s time to “move on”.

All in the last week dear reader.

I have an idea. It’s called impeachment.

Nixon, all arrogant and sloppy, covered up a burglary. Mr. Clinton got what I’m guessing was a pretty good and maybe even rockstar style hoovering, wiped his sword on the young woman’s dress and covered it up. Albeit, briefly.

We’ll be at a million dead here pretty soon. The number of those not dead but still pretty fucked goes up every day too.

I really fucking hate these guys.

Drinks for my friends.

Two things.

a) 5 subpoenas vs. 1052.

b) The Bill Moyers Journal debut “Buying The War”.

I’m gonna try to make a point here.

a) The Clinton administration, during it’s tenure, battled over a thousand subpoenas on individuals ranging from travel agents to Big Bad Bill hisself.

So far, the most corrupt, avaricious, arrogant administration in the history of the very idea of democracy, has made it’s way through a shitstorm of venom dripping wasps who produced a total of five subpoenas. Five. Three of them barely twenty four hours old.

Now, I know that we’ve had control of the house for a meager three months and there is no control to be had in the senate. But you gotta be fucking kidding me.

b) And then we consider Bill Moyers’ PBS offering of dogs and ponies. It was compelling. Well done. Revealing. I’m not sure I blinked.

Now, I’m a fan of Mr. Moyers. I’ve read his stuff. Smart, honest guy. And he did showcase the truth. It’s just that everyone from Rather to Russert, Judith Miller, William Safire, and Charles Krauthammer were confused and forgot to question an obvious superfund site of toxic lies. Humongous, not breathtaking, but lung collapsing lies.

You gotta be fucking kidding me.

I’m thinking to myself; I KNEW. I mean, I knew. Without a shadow of a doubt, it was obvious what was going on and most of the people around me were well aware as well. Even if we were in the minority, what does that say about the entirety of the American media juggernaut?

It says they’re either idiots or wimps, not excluding the possibility of some elixir thereof.

After listening to the news today and watching Moyers a day after it aired, I’m inclined to think that the media has become a doppelganger of the government. I use the the article ‘the’ as opposed to ‘our’, because neither institution has belonged to the people for some time.

I shouldn’t be suprised and it was serendipity that revealed to me that, just like our government, the fourth estate is full of a bunch of stupid fucking pussies.

Drinks for my friends.

Now they’re planning the crime of the century

Well what will it be?

Read all about their schemes and adventuring

It’s well worth a fee

So roll up and see

And they rape the universe

How they’ve gone from bad to worse

Who are these men of lust, greed, and glory?

Rip off the masks and let’s see.

But that’s not right – oh no, what’s the story?

There’s you and there’s me

That can’t be right

Supertramp “Crime Of The Century”

What are we doing?

Speaking Friday at the annual Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) in Washington, D.C., Coulter closed her remarks with: “I was going to have a few comments on the other Democratic presidential candidate, John Edwards, but it turns out you have to go into rehab if you use the word ‘faggot,’ so I – so kind of an impasse, can’t really talk about Edwards.”

This, from the same woman who, when commenting on her percieved latent homosexuality of Bill Clinton said “I don’t know if he’s gay. But Al Gore – total fag.”

Thanks Ann. I’m so grateful that you were able to frame the debate for us in such a way as to make it crystal fucking clear that all three individuals, their contributions to society, their intellectual prowess and their goodwill, are all rendered obsolete by your profoundly spurious assertion that they are gay.

You see, I’m quite sure that Ms. Coulter is the right wing equivalent of Andrew Dice Clay. It’s schtick. Dice admitted that his misogyny was an act. Coulter has yet to own her bigotry, homophobia and otherwise incendiary rhetoric as anything other than genuine. Perhaps it’s funny to the uptight diamond crapping rednecks and lone wolf Dick-in-Bush supporters, I don’t know. I stopped laughing a long time ago.

This simian phalanged cunt has done nothing more than pollute the once fairly pure waters of public discourse to the point where this sort of thing is not seen for what it is, but is rather held by conventional wisdom to be um , funny.

What a shame. What a goddamn shame.

The same woman who barked, with her overtly masculine adam’s apple bobbing in her freakishly elongated neck, “These broads are millionaires, lionized on TV and in articles about them, reveling in their status as celebrities and stalked by grief-arazzis. I’ve never seen people enjoying their husbands’ deaths so much.” She was of course, talking about 9/11 widows.

Again, thanks Ann. Bitchcunt.

I don’t doubt that someday the contents of Ms. Coulter’s closet will be revealed and we will then be treated to all manner of nefarious fuckery. There will likely be proof that she is indeed genetically male and the progeny of chimpanzees.

Either that or her secrets will remain with her to the grave and she will die prematurely from the sheer strain of holding those evil waters inside.

Really what it’s about is ignoring her. It’s simple. Ignore her. She’s chumping both sides. Schtick. We hate her, they love her. We are wrong and so are they.

Change the channel.

Drinks for my friends.

I’ve been reading this guy for awhile now. He finally really pissed me off. Comment on his blog? I mean, I’d really like that.

Here he is in all his glory

Friday, February 09, 2007 – 7:24 PM
“You African-American Looking Person!!!”
So he’s not so articulate after all. (chuckles) The junior, moslem-born, half-white, half-black, part-time Christian, full-time idiot Senator from Illinois had this to say to the drooling children at ’60 Minutes’ this week:

“Acknowledging that his presidential campaign has opened a racial debate, Sen. Barack Obama, who has a white mother and an African father, says if you look African-American, you are treated like one. Obama and his wife, Michelle, who also addresses the race issue, appear in an interview with Steve Kroft to be broadcast on 60 MINUTES, Sunday Feb. 11 (7:00-8:00 PM, ET/PT) on the CBS television Network. If, as expected, Obama declares his formal candidacy for the Democratic presidential nomination tomorrow, it will be his first interview to be broadcast after that event.

When asked by Kroft if growing up in a white household had caused him to make a decision to be black, Obama replies, “I’m not sure I decided it. I think… if you look African American in this society, you’re treated as an African-American.”

Okay……

A few quick observations. First of all, Steve Kroft? You’re a fucking idiot. Who “chooses” to be black? LMFAO!!! You goddamn liberal geeks just never stop, do you? You “choose” to be black? What a tool. I think even Katie Couric could have done a better job.

“So tell me, Barak, …(ha ha ha) I can call you Barak, can’t I? I call all my friends that. Ha, ha, ha. So tell us, Mr. Osama…..did your dog choose to be black….or white?”

Good Lord,….we live in Hell.

Then, Mr. Osama bin Hezbollah Barak bin Obama responded with the only answer available that was even dumber than Kroft’s stupid question.

“I’m not sure I decided it. I think… if you look African American in this society, you’re treated as an African-American.”

Gee. You mean like how Condoleeza Rice is “treated black”? Or Colin Powell? Is he “treated black”? How about Michael Jordan or Tony Dungy or Tiger Woods? Think people “treat them black”? How about James Earl Jones, Forrest Whitaker, Samuel L. Jackson? Think they get “treated black?”

You know what I think, Mr. Barak bin Hezbollah bin Osama? I think you’re dumber than you are black. Because you’re only half-black, but obviously FULL-BLOODED STUPID. That’s what I think. You’re divisive, inciteful, and racist. But that’s NOT the reason you’re dumber than pig shit.

See, you are a dumbass-jackass. It’s why you’re a Dummycrap. I’ll explain it all to you since you’re apparently too stupid to grasp it for yourself. The only freaks who care about what color you are is Democrats…everyone’s favorite old slavery supporters. Republicans don’t GIVE A SHIT what color you are. We care about YOUR POLITICS, …moron. Republicans LOVE Condoleeza Rice! I’d vote for her in a heartbeat if she ran for President. MILLIONS OF WHITE Republicans would. AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Forget about that one, Barak? If I have another daughter, I’m NAMING HER “Condoleeza”!!! LOLOLOL!!! What do you think about that….you jackass.

The joke is on YOU, …you friggin’ geek!!! (what an idiot….hehehehe….I just can’t resist….someone stop me. I’m having more fun than is legally allowed) Let me educate you a little bit here, Mr. Dumbass. All we the people care about is that you’re a far-left wing fruitcake that represents the socialist movement in America and wants to bring back baby-brain-drilling up till the moment of birth….and that you’re a moslem and lying about that and many other things to us.

But black? LMFAO!!! You wish we cared.

And what is this bullshit line, “get treated like one”? What the hell is that? How do “blacks get treated in America”, Mr. Genius? Care to answer that one? Still sitting at the back of the bus, you racist son-of-a-bitch. Grrrr. I’d like to kick the half-white part of your ass, Barak, since I’d seriously object if you called me a racist for kicking BOTH DUMB HALVES. Hmmm…..for the sake of honesty and integrity, I’m just going to call you a fucking liar and a racist in print. How’s that?

Isn’t it funny when a half-breed tries to play the race card that no one cares about? Obviously you’re too stupid to get elected, Mr. Osama-Obama.

Oh shit, …..nevermind. I just thought of Carter, Clinton, and Pelosi. Uh…I better close for now.

“Treated like a black”. LOLOLOL. Give me a break……you putz.

I think if it were me, I’d have just said, “Oh, I wake-up in the morning and flip a coin. Heads I’m white….tails I’m black.”

Good grief. Wow…..and I just realized that with all those insults I forgot to call him “black”. Oh wow. LMAO!!! …what an idiot.

P.S. Just a “Helpful Hint” for the junior senator who’s never done this before. Please stop with the dark skin make-up before the photo-ops. We’re a little bit more sophisticated than that.

************************************************************************

I once guessed that you were the Andrew Dice Clay of the right. Much like Ann Coulter, your shit is so hateful, vile and irresponsible that intelligent people are inclined to believe it’s an act.

On this blog in particular, I gotta hope I’m not being, at the least naive, and not anything like maybe……… blind shit house stupid.

You see, if I’m wrong about you, you’re an ignorant, racist.

You write this ridiculous jingoistic, straw man, ad hominem, biased bullshit and usually it’s at least kinda funny in an over the top kinda way.

You’re not a bad writer. You’ve complimented me before as well. I don’t think you’re stupid.

I think you’re worse. I think you’re willfully ignorant and scared to death.

You write like a man desperately afraid of a world that he just doesn’t understand. Thanks for pointing out that Obama rhymes with Osama. Mark rhymes with Clark. Dick rhymes with Rick. Sometimes they’re even short for the same name.

Tell me you’re not that big of an asshole.

All the celebrities you reference could tell you more than handful of stories about being treated “black” you fucking retard. I guarantee it.

It was at this point that I began to wonder about your point. Fuckhead.

Happy Obama Declaration Day 🙂

Obama says, “I’m not sure I decided it. I think… if you look African American in this society, you’re treated as an African-American.”. Based on that single statement lifted directly from your blog, you call/accuse him of being:

“You know what I think, Mr. Barak bin Hezbollah bin Osama? I think you’re dumber than you are black. Because you’re only half-black, but obviously FULL-BLOODED STUPID. That’s what I think. You’re divisive, inciteful, and racist. But that’s NOT the reason you’re dumber than pig shit.”

What he said sounded pretty damn obvious to me and the sense that it represented was, pretty fucking obvious as well. And that, my underpriveledged friend, is something niether you or I will ever have a handle on. At least not like anyone in America today with skin a color other than white.

If you’re a decent comedian, you should be able to deal with the handful of hecklers I’m hoping to point in your direction. Best of luck.

It may be somewhat useless this far down the road, but I need to take exception to one more thing. “Republicans don’t GIVE A SHIT what color you are.”

What?

“The only freaks who care about what color you are is Democrats…everyone’s favorite old slavery supporters.”

WHAT???

WITH ALL DUE RESPECT, FUCK YOU IN THE NECK.

In the middle 1960’s the republican party began to take control of the south by exploiting the racial divide that existed and burned hotter there than any other region of the country. They did so specifically by opposing civil rights legislation, integration and bussing. The modern day southern region of the united states now votes overwhelmingly republican and is still the most overtly racist region of the country.

Seriously. Are you that big of an asshole?

You seem to think that by using Mr. Obama’s name in a sentence with words like “Hezbollah”, you’re making some huge point about evil Islam. Twenty percent of the worlds population is muslim. The majority are peaceful. That fact makes you a fucking idiot.

I’m going to post this as a blog. I’m telling you this to be fair.

Now show me some sack and allow this to go through as a comment on your blog.

I’m sick of your shit.

Drinks for my Friends.