Archive for the ‘News and Politics’ Category

I’d like to show you all something I’m very proud of,
those in the front will have to move back a
little………

I’m not sure how to go about this or even explain it,
but “Don” has so baffled me with his own protracted
confusion, I now stand fascinated.

I need to understand this man a little better. He and
I occupy opposite extremes at the polarity of common
vs. uncommon sense. I simply cannot believe over half the
shit that comes out of his mouth with the sincerity
and abandon on his part, of some sort of holy warrior
patriot.

One of us is most certainly and completely, wrong.

I hope it’s not me.

As woefully misguided as I estimate him, he seems to
mean what he says. As frightening as that may be, I
need to have a better grip on it.

Should I send a friend request?

I imagine he already understands that on my blog,
he is something of a sideshow freak, long after
the circus has left town. At the very least, he is a
limbless man/boy named Matt or a repulsive woman
with a silky beard. No less than a pariah to some of you.

His indefatigable willingness of participation to my blog, has
allowed us far more than a brush with a freak that we
wouldn’t typically have been afforded such intimate exposure to in such close quarters.

I kinda feel smeared.

Forgive me though, I’m curious.

What confounds me so much; the man is clearly
not stupid. Far from splitting the atom, he still
writes and expresses himself reasonably well. And he
has conviction. In his own mind and perhaps even his
heart, he speaks truth.

How can that be? He reflexively vomits right wing
caustic bigoted and boilerplate bile immediately upon
being challenged or confronted. It is a learned
behavior. Pavlovian.

He performs it with churlish indignity.

Where does such volume of passion, for what is all but
a quivering house of cards, come from? How can that
be? It makes no sense.

Fear. The great force multiplier.

An effort has been made to influence every one of us
with the cudgel of fear that equalizes our dignity
while multiplying our reptilian impulsions for
bloodshed and carnage.

The Cold War. I grew up in literal fear of nuclear
war. We actually had drills and were shown violent
and ominous movies. My fear was palpable, it was
fucking chewy. In the end, we didn’t blow them up.
We outspent them. And America was damn near broke by
the time that infamous Wall fell.

During that time, heavy pockets got heavier. Lite
pockets got lighter. The birth of contemporary
plutocracy. The concentration of wealth through fear
as the the great wealth multiplier.

We are now in that loop, only it’s version V.2.7.

See what I’m saying?

Guys like Don paid good money for this shit and they
want to see some dead “sandmonkeys” on TV. They don’t
want to see black men with an education, much less
nicer rims on their cars. That is an affront to men
like Don. He is afraid. He learned to be.

When he’s not afraid, he’s at least distracted, probably annoyed, He’s just watched Fox and probably got his ass kicked as a kid.

It is so very compelling that he was so willing to
assume that I was neglected and/or abused as a child.
I wasn’t.

FEAR.

See what I’m saying?

Don, and all the people like him are small, by virtue
of fear.

“There is nothing to fear, but fear itself”-FDR

Maybe, just maybe, the point is not to hold Don up as
the example.

Maybe the onus is on us. Individually.
Responsibility. Accountability.

See what I’m saying?

Drinks for my friends.

Bill Clinton.
Good guy. Very smart guy.

Al Gore.
Good guy. Very smart guy.

Hillary Clinton.
Good Guy? Very smart guy.

George W. Bush.
Not a bad guy? I don’t know. Really fucking stupid though. Lethally dumb without a doubt.

Our Man Bill has become an efficacious tornado of altruistism
and an intellectual human holiday. He’s lifted the
mantle from Jimmy Carter. We like him. We have good
reason to. Beyond his gravitational charisma is
brains and empathy. Despite the games he’s been
forced to play, he’s always given a fuck.

Al Gore. A bit of a tragic figure but he’s found his
way. Should never have distanced himself from our man
Bill. The energy assholes were fond of calling him
“captain ozone” twenty years ago.

There’s a lot less fat Texas dickheads laughing these days. Won the
goddamn Nobel today! How cool is that? Fuck you in
the neck you captains of industry.

The tear between the clever and the moronic is rent ever further.

Two guys smart and driven enough to still delight in
trying to make it better.

Relax, I understand that you don’t get that far
without having both hands inside the corpse. Both
these guys have already spun in their graves. They
are dirty. Without a doubt.

Today, the political progeny of these men is our
man Hillary. Woe is us. She is as pungent as the
piss soaked Hollywood homeless. She’s raised more
money from Big Money than any of the rest of them.

Therefore, public suspect number one.

Before the ’06 midterm elections, I wouldn’t have
given her a Slurpee’s chance in an active volcano.

Now she’s the front runner and the conservatives don’t
have fuck all. The most conspicuous artifact of the
Republican fall from grace is that they can’t seem to
get their hands on the filthy lucre.

But Hillary can. It’s the very same blood soaked pile
that used to be the royal jelly heroin exclusive to
the GOP. Big energy, pharma, defense,
telecommunications, etc. have all walked away from the
bipolar pinheads across the aisle and have begun to
PAY our spineless, cowardly party and it’s front
running asshats.

Ha! They’re still our problem.

Big Money has no choice. Their previous party darling
has been stepping on it’s own dick for so long that
Christians, rednecks and even racists are genuinely
embarrassed.

Kinda fun to watch Dick-in-Bush struggling to give Big
Money retro active immunity in the clustefuck of the
illegal wiretapping fuckery. All the big administration players have left the building; the handful left behind will rush flagrantly towards any open wound.

Then there was the veto of the medical insurance bill for children because it smacked of “socialized medicine”.

They have nothing to lose. In possession of more than
a simple get out of jail free card, they have
annihilated their party, our country, our reputation,
our security, PLUNDERED our economy, our rights, our
CONSTITUTION, our dignity and our ability to pursue
life, liberty and happiness.

They don’t care. In a year, they ramble. No
accountability and no responsibility. Into the
sunset, resplendent from fossil fuel emission, they
shall ride.

“Crazy,but that’s how it goes
Millions of people living as foes
Maybe it’s not too late
To learn how to love
And forget how to hate”

“I’ve listened to preachers
I’ve listened to fools
I’ve watched all the dropouts
Who make their own rules
One person conditioned to rule and control
The media sells it and you live the role” -OZZY OSBOURNE

All the mayhem and chaos and damage stays. Whole
countries and a world turned upside down in
considerably less than a decade. In place still, will
be the massive life eating engine behind a different
porcelain mask. Mostly blue instead of mostly red.

Not without complicity, complacency, apathy and
ignorance, will this be allowed to pass. But it will.
You bet your ass. It’s done.

“OOMPA LOOMPA DOOMPADEE DOO
I’VE GOT A PERFECT PUZZLE FOR YOU
OOMPA LOOMPA, DOOMPADAH DEE
IF YOU ARE WISE YOU’LL LISTEN ME
WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU GUZZLE DOWN SWEETS
EATING AS MUCH AS AN ELEPHANT EATS
WHAT ARE YOU AT GETTING TERRIBLY FAT
WHAT DO YOU THINK WILL COME OF THAT
I DON’T LIKE THE LOOK OF IT
OOMPA LOOMPA DOOMPADEE DAH
IF YOU’RE NOT GREEDY YOU WILL GO FAR
YOU WILL LIVE IN HAPPINESS TOO
LIKE THE OOMPA LOOMPA DOOMPADEE DO
DOOMPADEE DOO” -oompa loompa song

VOTE KUCINICH!

Drinks for my friends.

So I was ambling dolefully down the lane of my choice when I found myself in the News & Politics top 10. Been spending a lot of time there lately.

Thanks. Really.

Anyway, I came across this guy with nothing but a one question, two choice answer blog. A “poll”. I kinda hate that because there’s no original content and it takes space on the charts from original thinkers and writers.

Then I read his question. I’m not gonna single this guy out, he certainly doesn’t need any more attention, so no links, you guys will find him if you want.

It’s the stupidest fucking question I’ve ever heard in a very long time.

Understand as you read my comment, that I’m doing the best I can to focus on the mindset, as opposed to the pompous jackass that hoisted this low gene pool, walkin’ the dog cro magnon question:

“DO YOU WANT DEFEAT IN IRAQ OR DO YOU WANT VICTORY IN IRAQ?”

*you have two choices*

DEFEAT IN IRAQ

*or*

VICTORY IN IRAQ

So I had this to say:

Not only is the question retarded and deceptive,
regardless of the answer, the question is
irrelevant. It’s like asking someone being presented
with two identical red cars if they prefer the black
one or the white one.

It is classic neoconservative obfuscation to assume
that the “war” in in Iraq can be won. See, despite
military objectives being achieved, the “war” is
unwinnable, because the war has long since ceased to
be, a military problem. The “war” is not a war you
idiot.

The war became a geopolitical, ideological and
diplomatic problem about two months after we showed
up. Uh, and a handful of decades before that.

Seriously, read a book without pictures.

Your question presupposes so many ridiculous notions
that I suspect you’re immune to being disabused of any
of them.

Who do you want us to “defeat” in order in order to
achieve “victory”? There hasn’t been anything
resembling a military in Iraq since the very beginning.

Remember? We relieved them all, fired them. They
shed their uniforms, took their guns and ammo, helped
themselves to all the stockpiles of weaponry our “war”
architects simply overlooked, and showed up the next
day armed like Travis Bickle without the rather
obvious mohawk. Then they didn’t just shoot at us,
but rather everyone they didn’t know or like.

It’s the same intellectually dishonest crap you one
chord, two dimensional, simpletons foist when you
accuse those of us who actually want our troops home,
of not supporting the troops.

I vow here and now to punch the next dipshit conservative as hard as I can in the mouth upon he or she having the ignorantly prideful temerity to even question my patriotism when I express my desire for this killing of our kids and innocent Iraqis to end yesterday.

Again, for the dipshits: Over One Million dead
Iraqis, over Four Thousand Dead Americans, Over
Thirty Thousand permanently and life alteringly
Damaged Americans and over Seven Hundred Million
Dollars a Day to perpetuate this madness.

Why, how, can fucktards like you be so singularly
focused on archaic and obsolete notions like “victory”
and “defeat” with all this going on?

The rest of us have moved on. We understand that such
concepts haven’t even been on the table for years and
you don’t get it. I do not apologize for attacking
you for fomenting such egregious and willfull
ignorance. It’s not however, personal.

How do you percieve this clusterfuck as so black and white
after all this time? Even if you’re color blind, be aware the myriad shades of grey. I wonder if it’s because you and your ilk are either so simple or so confused, that you want this hydra to be about good vs. evil and right vs. wrong. You want it to be some 1950’s western
where all you need to know is who’s wearing the white
hat because the whole goddamn thing is black & white anyway.

Hey man, who was the victor and who was the defeated in Vietnam? Nevermind. It’s a rhetorical question and I don’t give a mad fuck what you think.

What’s the difference between an orange? See above.

I hate to tell you this, but dude, you ARE the
problem.

Your poll question is insipid and beneath the contempt
of every American capable of making up his own mind.
Most Americans are too smart to be insulted by your question, don’t count on us to be compassionate enough to avoid being disgusted by it.

Drinks for my friends.

I think it’s kinda funny that the one “moderate” Republican is a jackass like Guiliani. Then I laugh my junk off when the conservatives threaten to walk away from the Republican party if he gets the nomination.

You can’t write this shit. He really is their only chance.

So, they get their panties in such a twist that it restricts oxygen flow to their paleolithic oblongata, over Skeletor being pro choice, and they threaten to castrate themselves by going third party.

Man, I love to hate these slippery, disingenuous bastards. You think any of them give a mad fuck about the principle of life? A great many think they do, by virtue of indoctrination and religious propaganda, but they’d get vacuumed or pay for a hoovering, pun intended, immediately upon being confronted by inconvenience or convenience.

Then there’s the money. Dogmatic fundamentalists will give their morning gruel and bus faire as long as you’re in favor of capital punishment and against a woman’s right to choose. A very wealthy base built on the backs of the great unwashed.

They also know that Skeletor is no match for Billary on a level playing field. They are panicked because they know they lack the muscle to tilt that field a fourth time. They screwed the pooch on the third try.

This, kids, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, this is entertainment.

The Republican party, pictured under ‘ignorant lockstep’ in most childrens bibles and adult dictionaries, is literally gnawing on it’s own ass. It is perhaps, so preoccupied, that it’s about to ass barf all over its own face.

They have acute assfazia. The ass so closely resembles the face, that bowels pregnant with hypocrisy are unsure what direction to explode towards.

Yes mam, they’re about to shit themselves.

I’m having too much fun with this.

Now for the bad news. The Democrats suck too. Sorry. They do. Hillary and Obama box over trivial shit to distract you from Kucinich, who tells you the truth about stuff that’s important.

He’s whip smart. He has logical plans for efficacious policies as well as their implementation and he’s not here to fuck around. He’s serious.

The front runners are too far inside to even care about what you want and what you, we, really need.

An abject example: Last November there was a massive power shift in Congress dictated by the will of the people. A clear mandate was the catalyst; a reversal in the Iraq war was expected. That expectation fueled conviction at the polls more than any other issue.

Ask yourself, what do we have to show for it? Allow me to answer. Not a goddamn thing. Nothing. Same as it ever was. $700 million a day and over a million dead Iraqis. Four thousand of our own dead and over thirty thousand handicapped and damaged for life. That disgusts me.

Not one of them (Domocratic candidates), when asked if they would guarantee a complete troop withdrawal by the END of their term in 2013, could do anything but snort and stomp and make excuses.

Save one. Dennis Kucinich said three months. Done deal.

Health care and peace too.

Make sure your seatbacks and tray tables are in the upright position. Do the best you can to avoid the vulgar puppet show playing outside every window and on every screen. The same one on TV, radio and whatever dumbass magazine you’re reading.

It really is time to pay attention.

Drinks for my friends.

Allow me to come at you correct, Ahmadinejad is not the most savory character on the world stage these days. He is in fact, a punk ass bitch. He’s a micro-penis in the power structure of his own country. He holds no currency. And, he’s a dipshit. He says they don’t have gays in his country, despite the fact than one can be executed for it.

Oh, and he questions the Holocaust.

However, he’s on the world stage and he regularly commands a spotlight. His influence over Sunnis in the Arab world is powerful, yet callow. He is extraordinarily well educated, accomplished and probably very smart.

He knows what he’s doing.

The stupid among you will be smug in your estimation that a savage dared to visit our shores and summarily had his ass handed to him.

He already knows what you think and you just spent three days with his hand up your ass. That, is why he came.

By the way, you guys did great. Your jingoistic outraged hubris was spot on. When the president of Columbia university lacks the basic courage to respond to Ahmadinejad’s remarks after the fact, as opposed to engaging in sophomoric rhetoric and insults before he utters a single word, it’s obvious there’s still a majority in this country that can’t get enough Kool Aid.

While America stands with hands on hips and thinks that we showed that bastard, and who the fuck did he think he was anyway, the rest of the world bowed it’s head and shook it.

More than a few covered their eyes.

“A man walks down the street
He says why am I short of attention
Got a short little span of attention
And woe my nights are so long
Where’s my wife and family
What if I die here
Who’ll be my role model
Now that my role model is
Gone gone
He ducked back down the alley
With some roly-poly little bat-faced girl
All along along
There were incidents and accidents
There were hints and allegations” – Paul Simon

Soon we will have been in Iraq for FIVE YEARS. Already longer than the big one.

Every aspect of this clusterfuck has played underneath and just behind the proscenium of a short attention span theater. Dumbsfeld said weeks, maybe months. All these years and it’s still unmitigated chaos. And it’s costing in excess of 700 million dollars a day.

A brief caveat: Today Dumbya vowed to veto a bill that would increase health care for uninsured children.

You have got to be fucking kidding me.

Now, imagine if you will, that this same scenario was taking place in Canada. Would we be selling them arms? No. We would be giving them away. Or maybe selling them to both sides because we’re dirty, filthy, greedy pigs.

You can bet your ass we’d be involved. Neck deep. So Ahmadinejad gets torn apart for wading into the power vacuum that we left behind out of myopic stupidity right next door to his house.

Is our attention span so short that we’ve forgotten that we made this goddamn mess? We made this mess with a country that didn’t have dick to do with the original mess. Mess O’ Patamia.

The only hope of stabilizing the region at all is to initiate a dialog with Ahmadinejad’s bosses. Quit kicking the little bastard and take his country seriously.

I was really looking forward to the interview with Christiane Amanpour on CNN. After 60 Minutes and the debacle at Columbia I was anticipating a more level, if still American, stage.

It didn’t happen. Ahmadinejad had already accomplished what he came here to do. In spades. He didn’t come here to talk to us. He came here to talk to the rest of the world in front of us and despite us.

Predictably and infuriatingly, we played the straight man. Well done, assholes. I predict you’ll be sorry.

Drinks for my friends.

FURTHER READING:

I need to point some shit out.

Tempted by the fruit of another

So, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, the president of Iran took the podium at Columbia University today.

Before he takes the mic, he’s pretty much savaged by the dickhead in charge. Didn’t they invite him? He’d already had his ass handed to him by 60 Minutes.

And then well, he stood up and said some really ridiculous shit and they laughed at him. He has some serious sack, this pious fuck, but he’s still a bit of a douchebag.

This pissing match between him and Dumbya is a little like a bare knuckle fist fight between a pair of geriatric invalids. It’s kinda funny. I picture them naked except for huge saggy diapers.

Yep, silly, pointless and a little tragic. Neither one holds all the cards, and neither one wields the power of their respective regimes. Punch and Judy.

People in either country think they’re both assholes.

Lest we forget, Ahmadinejad is next door to the worlds biggest conflagration/power vacuum. He may be stupid but he plays because he’s living on the slope of an active, lava filled, geopolitical zit.

Don’t blame him for attempting to influence the flow of puss from the boil America picked at.

He’s here, but so far he’s talking to and playing for, his own people. Meanwhile, we don’t talk to very many besides our own either. We sure as hell don’t talk to Iran.

What if we did?

What if we tried being friends instead of arrogant red neck war mongering ignorant pricks? See, right or wrong that’s the path that they have been led down. That is what they think.

Bear in mind that Iran is fairly progressive society in the context of that region. And although it’s people regard some of our policies as idiotic, let’s face it some are, they don’t hate Americans.

Not yet anyway. Dick-in-Bush are doing their damndest to squander that goodwill.

“Comb your hair and paint and powder you act proud and I’ll act prouder
You sing loud and I’ll sing louder tonight we’re settin’ the woods on fire
You’re my gal and I’m your feller dress up in my frock and yeller
I’ll look swell but you’ll look sweller settin’ the woods on fire………..”
-Hank Williams

It’s absurd. Still, I’m a little giddy over the anticipated catfight tomorrow at the UN. Perhaps Douchebag and Dumbya will compare dicks and we can all move on.

I don’t intend to paint this embroglio as anything but really goddamn serious, because if we initiate hostilities with Iran we really are ‘arrogant red neck war mongering ignorant pricks’.

Allow me to be clear:

Attacking Iran, while we’re losing two other wars in the region, at the same time Iran exerts far more influence in the way bigger of the two conflicts than we do, is an unbelievably stupid idea.

See, despite the fact that our ground forces are a blister about to burst, there is an assload of 21st century firepower parked in the gulf right at the end of Iran’s front sidewalk.

The Navy is all fresh and ready to fuck something up. And they will. The first part will be over in a few weeks, just like both forays into Iraq.

And then, best case scenario is an even more pissed off and far larger nest of wasps who can’t wait to kill Americans any way they can.

Worst case scenario is complete chaos. Lotsa nukes over there kids.

That’s ok with Dumbya and Douchebag. They both get a little moisture over the apocolypse.

It’s gonna be great. The nighttime footage will be spectacular.

Drinks for my friends.

Didn’t the white hats win big in ’06? Wasn’t there winds of change, maybe not blowing, but wafting? There was an anticipated shift in the breeze away from the inferno. Right?

Here we are and I can’t believe it. All fucking OJ
all the time. So a sociopathic scumbag might actually
go to jail. Good. Beyond that, I couldn’t care less.
Last week it was Paris Hilton and the week before it
was Ms. Lohan sucking paste in a toney rehab bathroom.
I may have the timeline wrong but honestly, who gives
a mad fuck?

Yesterday our very own Senate was unable to restore
the nearly nearly one thousand year old institution of
Habeas Corpus, “The Great Writ”. The Republicans
didn’t even have to fillibuster, they merely threatened to. Not enough votes for cloture, thanks in part to Benedict Joe Lieberman, so the invertebrate Democrats went to lunch.

Shouldn’t they have at least forced the Reps to read aloud
from Mein Kampf or The Enquirer on the Senate floor?
For fuck’s sake we’re talking about the Constitution here.

Today the Unites States Senate, the most powerful
legislative body in the world, took it upon itself to
admonish Moveon.org for an ad that “impugns the honor
and integrity of … all the members of the United
States Armed Force”. What kind of chickenshit move is
that?

The confederacy of callow dipshits took the time to
pass a resolution with the same bullshit hollow
rhetoric spat at everyone who has objected to this
insane war since it began. The very best they can do
is miss the point entirely. One of the reasons we
take exception to this clusterfuck is because it’s
killing our troops for no goddamn reason you idiots!

Also yesterday: “Senate Republicans yesterday rejected a bipartisan proposal to lengthen the home leaves of U.S. troops fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan, derailing a measure that war opponents viewed as one of the best chances to force President Bush to accelerate a redeployment of forces.” -The Washington Post

Our esteemed Senators have their heads so far up their
asses, their bowels don’t know which way to move.

Yet, in the last two nights I glimpsed none of this on
the news, save OJ’s latest fifteen minutes, of course.

You have got be fucking kidding me.

The future’s so bright, I gotta wear shades.

It’s not just your fault America, although you are culpable. Even if you’re one of those being gagged by the media with shit you’d rather not swallow, you’re still complicit.

How do I know? One word. Ratings.

Turn it off. Read. Ask questions.

Stop being a common patsy.

Drinks for my friends.

Aug. 30, 2007
There’s nothing wrong with that. Except, he’s liar and a hypocrite too. Poor bastard covets cock, pines for penis and thinks that’s his worst problem.
A quick google reveals this self loathing elderly hunk of man meat has a 100% approval rating from the Christian Coalition. That’s funny. They HATE fags. I wonder if it’s congruent with how he hates himself, or a completely antithetical brand of fear and loathing.
Anyway. Another closeted hypocritical gay Republican elected representative, in denial and pursuing an overtly homophobic legislative agenda.
* Voted YES on constitutional ban of same-sex marriage. (Jun 2006)
* Voted NO on adding sexual orientation to definition of hate crimes. (Jun 2002)
* Voted NO on expanding hate crimes to include sexual orientation. (Jun 2000)
* Voted YES on prohibiting same-sex marriage. (Sep 1996)
* Voted NO on prohibiting job discrimination by sexual orientation. (Sep 1996)
Source.
For fuck’s sake this guy has been in power and under a cloud for decades.
Restless leg syndrome. That’s all it was. Now that’s funny. I have to admit I stole that from an e-mail read out loud on the Cafferty File.
In case you missed my point; my disgust is about his behavior outside the bedroom, train staion or airport bathroom. I think he sucks (sorry, I crack me up) because he’s so disturbed that he’s dedicated his life to punishing his own, merely because he hates himself so much.
More and more, that mentality seems to prevail in our body politic and ever more acutely in the GOP. Foley was how long ago? They knew about Foley and you can bet your ass they knew about this deranged prick.
David Dreier anyone?
The ‘07 GOP family values schadenfreude. On tour and in a TV near you. They’ve begun to eclipse Catholic priests in the arena of depravity.
This month alone, Snow, Rove and Gonzales walk.
Again, the damage is done. All three walked away whistling.
Your seeing a full on slow motion implosion of a political party.
One can only hope that the thus far invertebrate Democrats can find the courage of the people’s convictions and lead according to principal and the will of WE THE PEOPLE.
That is our only hope, so I’m scared shitless.
I don’t typically do this but I’d like to take this opportunity to rub your goddamn noses in some pretty obvious shit. The answers to most of our problems as a country and those of the world at large are generally pretty obtainable; just an arm’s reach opposite the remote for most of us.
Ethanol from corn is an egregiously stupid idea. More expensive, less miles per gallon and enviromentally disastrous. Hemp you fools! Hemp solves all three and textiles too.
Sorry. I digress.
Obama and Hillary are the political equivalent of ethanol.
What I want you to know is that this time there is a legitimate Democratic candidate for president of this once great country. His name is Dennis Kucinich and he is a real cowboy.
The only one to openly oppose the war publicly before it even started and the only one to vote against it every time. The only one with the sack to introduce articles of impeachment in congress for Cheney. The only one with a comprehensive health plan, a not for profit health care system for every American. The ONLY ONE not beholdin to BIG PHARMA, ENERGY, INSURANCE, DEFENSE OR FINANCIAL. The only one.
Among the smartest. Definitely the most honest. My mother says he’s too liberal. She is wrong. He’s a common sense centrist. He is what we need to have a chance at cleaning this mess up.
If I’m right about Americans, he has not a hope in hell.
Prove me wrong? Pay attention? Please?
Drinks for my friends.

I just want this human piece of shit to go away.

I turn on the television tonight for the first time in almost a week and I am confronted with Michael Vick’s “apology”. An apology that he was forced into. An apology as a last resort. An apology that was a last ditch effort if he were to ever have a chance of playing football again.

Then, video of animals howling in pain and fear as they are bested by another animal.

He drowned animals for losing. Fuck him.

He blamed it on immaturity. Fuck you Michael Vick. You are damaged. Your soul is polluted. You deliberately thieved innocence from the innocent.

You deserve nothing but agony. You deserve no second chance, not a second of peace ever again. You should be forced to fight for your life everyday without even being able to understand why. When you inevitably lose, you should be drowned, violently by someone you love.

I hold an exclusive and unique brand of hate in my heart for you, a man I’ve never even met.

For your sake, I wish for a hell, so that you may burn in it.
Forgive me, I will not utter his name again. I promise.

Drinks for my friends.

I’m shooting from the hip on this one.

I saw a headline. No TV, no print media and no internet.

The sum total of what I know is that one of the biggest three dingleberries ever to dangle in the asshair of America has acquiesced to being troweled off.

Bush’s Brain takes a powder.

Now that’s compelling.

I’m guessing he couldn’t take the heat. His kitchen had become a furnace for felonious neocons. That’s my bet. No way a man of his ilk would abandon his post if his demise wasn’t otherwise imminent. He’s been with Dumbya since the 70’s I think.

Unlike Dumbya, not a stupid man by any means. An egghead though. Without a doubt. A sulfer stench. He emerges and disappears with a fetor of decay; a cloud that’s accompanied him with violent pungence for the last few decades. Since ’06 his stink has become greasy and palpable.

His nickname is “turdblossom” you know.

What I’m saying here is that this man has sucked forever. Maybe from birth. He’s the architect of this wasteland left of America. His ideas and his execution.

Well, he and Darth.

And he gets to just leave it all behind.

I imagine he has plenty of money. Rest assured he’ll suck his last breath from underneath sheets of a very high threadcount.

There is no self respecting historian that could possibly paint this prick favorably. At least he has to endure his legacy until the Earth claims him for worm food.

Poor sightless primitive snakes.

The good news. This means Dick-in-Bush are now wandering the landscape of this once great nation sackless. There is still a phallic protuberance; that would be Cheney. There is still a gimp in some submissive leather harness; that would be Bush.

Ha! They are bagless. No testosterone drip.

What was once an impenetrable steel fortress is now a decaying wooden fence around a windblown shack in need of more than paint and plumbing.

They are done.

Within the next six months, the roof will fail from rot. Elvis fans will trespass looking for souvenirs.

But they will leave a legacy of death, injustice, arrogance, stupidity and a vacuum of compassion that will dwarf that of any previous administration of this once great country.

Ruin and waste is their wake. Whether Cheney and Bush manage to weather the next 18 months remains to be seen. Regardless of that outcome, their legacy of devastation will not change.

Rove exits stage left not a moment too soon. We remain however, fucked.

Drinks for my friends.

Aug. 10, 2007
Ok seriously. What’s the deal with our media?
Am I wrong or was Cronkite not only an excellent journalist but a responsible one. Anyone remember Eric Sevareid? Murrow was clearly a tough act to follow but these two guys I remember.
By no means do I discount the others of that era.
Am I wrong, or were they all pretty respectable back in the day?
Ooooh! ABC science correspondent Jules Bergman? Anyone? I had relations with his daughter. Seriously. She was hot and sultry. And whip smart.
Certainly, anything I’m about to say about the sport of journalism has it’s exceptions. Every rule does. Mr. Olbermann is one of those exceptions. Randi Rhodes, Greg Palast, Tom Hartman, there’s far more than a handful.
They don’t piss me off. Therefore, I have little to say about them other than at least the complimentary, if not a slice of sheer idolatry.
We’re done here.
Onto the subject at hand:
OUR FUCKTARDIAN MEDIA!
Anybody else notice the sheer brilliance of Jon
Stewart’s assessment of the candidates from both
parties and his take on the ridiculous syrup of media coverage not
just poured generously but trumpeted by a chorus of
media vessels simultaneously glugging while emptying the other night?
That’s a goddamn sentence, yes it is.
He did it comprehensively, accurately and gin through
the nose funny in twelve minutes flat. An intellectually honest take on the state of the race and the irresponsible, open sore inducing mainstream coverage.
And his point was well taken. It’s fucking
ridiculous. His last look at the camera before
commercial is fierce and tells us that
he wasn’t fucking kidding.
He’s saying it’s been a loooong time since the media
took it’s responsibility seriously or took any
responsibility at all.
Television news in America is a giant and dangerous
fucking joke.
This week it seems to be about Nicole Richie. I’m a fan of her father, actually worked with him once. A sweet horsefaced man with a lot of talent.
Forgive me, I don’t give a mad fuck about his daughter.
While we’re on the subject of forgiveness; this bridge in Minnesota is a tragedy without question.
I’m over it. I didn’t know any of them and I’m not sure I care about the hundreds of bridges likely to toss us into a school of Great Whites within the next twenty seven years due to lack of oversight or overt fraud.
Am I gonna swim or hike across whatever the bridge spans?
In a pigs ass.
Yet we still lap at the sick sweet syrup. We love it.
We tolerate it socially and lick a
little up in private. It’s chronic, insidious and
reiterative.
Take Cheney on King a few nights ago.
Boilerplate Cheney.
The most outrageous and elaborate falsehoods. Really
a howler.
Honestly, I was entertained.
That man lies with more conviction than anyone I’ve
seen besides Dumbya, and I’m not sure Dumbya knows he’s lying most
of the time.
Darth called the Alberto Gonzales clusterfuck a partisan
witch hunt. Said Al is a good guy.
You have got be fucking kidding me. Half of his own
party wishes this asshole would disappear.
Al, is an arrogant pinhead.
Ha! He’s our attorney general.
You have got to be fucking kidding me.
I kinda like Larry King, he looks a little like Beavis to
me and Cheney makes a swell Butthead come to think of
it.
Or is it the other way around?
Anyway. Larry does the best he can but he’s no
journalist. That’s not saying much. He’s the CNN
equivalent of people magazine.
Some of the most honest journalists on TV are comedians. That’s sad
but I’m grateful for them. They’ll end up folk heroes.
I don’t doubt that this dumbing down is
deliberate. For the sake of brevity, let me just share
that my conviction is primarily a result of my not being
a dipshit.
Yet, Americans are complicit. Despite the designs of the
evil empire, our acquiescence is the fusion that makes
a combustion almost inevitable.
It sickens me to watch the lazy minded imbibe the sanitized zeitgeist offered up by a mainstream media so infected with hubris and powerlust that they don’t even have time for what’s actually important and maybe even germane to the events of right fucking now.
They are far too busy emptying drool buckets and getting us to buy shit that’s either of no use, bad for us, or both.
What I’m saying here is that combustion is upon us.
It’s happening.
There is an unjust and virtually unexplainable war. There is real potential for much, much more. Half our damn navy is in or around the Gulf.
Kids. If this one starts, it’s gonna be huge.
Our economy is showing the first fractures in a series
of events that will end up being sustainable only by a
class of working poor and a class of impossibly
wealthy.
Highest foreclosure rate in decades. Banks and
lending institutions starting to panic over their
depth in the subprime lending market. Inflation is here. Unavoidable
after the surge in oil.
Then there’s the fact that as a country, we owe more
than we make.
Don’t forget that everyone loathes us. Don’t forget, the rest of the world factors in our meat puppet president when evaluating us.
Actually, remember that the rest of the world hates us.
By design the middle will implode. The now heavy Top
will collapse on the Bottom and the Middle will spray
out of all four sides.
As the the social and moral pendulum swings back to
the left, to the West, the yang to the yin continues
it’s long planned trajectory east, towards the twelfth
century.
According to schedule, we’ll be completely powerless by the time we’re liberated.
Unless we’re careful.
Drinks for my friends.

I sat down with the idea of taking my turn beating the
crap out of our thoroughly disgraced and shamefully
pompous attorney general. He was embarrassing. It
was aggravating to watch. What a complete dickhead.

What I’m about to say may shock you.

So what?

Without a doubt, this guy is a fucking clown. He’ll
lose his job, be publicly disgraced and fade into the
ether. After a time he’ll land some six or seven
figure gig and none if it will matter, at least not
to him.

Today at least, I feel I have bigger fish to fry.

So, I was gathering steam, CNN was on in the
background, sound very low, as is my wont. A story
appeared that has been tugging at my rage for a few
days and I just couldn’t let it go any longer. It’s
an issue that is very close to my heart. The story
was about one Michael Vick and the “sport” of dog
fighting.

I could not stand to watch even fifteen seconds.

I’ve always regarded the idea that what separates
humans from animals is the ability to reason, as a
rather obtuse one. If that were true, my cat wouldn’t
consistently shit in the designated shit box, dogs
would spend all day looking for the food bowl and
gorillas wouldn’t gain remarkable proficiency in
things like sign language.

For a while, I held that the difference between us and
them is simply art. Creativity and an impetus or
inspiration for the aesthetic. Then some chimp
painted or something and I realized that my cat at the
the time had a sense of humor.

So much for that.

For some time now, I’ve owned that what indeed is the
distinction between human and animal, is innocence.
They have it in as pure and pristine a form as
exists. We do not. We are born with it, but by the
time we learn to walk, it has already begun to
atrophy.

Now, I don’t know if this guy is guilty or not, but it
sure looks like it. It occurred on his property,
under the guise of a business he owned, a kennel run
by both he and his relatives.

I don’t know that he did it. I didn’t even know who
he was until the story broke last week. I’m willing
to wait to find out.

If convicted, he faces as much as six years in prison,
a loss of some twenty five million dollars in annual
income and public humiliation.

Ha, motherfucker. Not nearly enough. Not even close. If this man
is guilty, there is no ring of hell appropriate for
such a human piece of shit.

I would suggest he deserves far more than to taste his own
blood. If his guilt is proven, I would recommend a
beat down with crowbars, baseball bats and claw
hammers until near death. Then, let him heal. Once he’s
ambulatory, repeat. And repeat. Over, and over, and
over again. I’d be happy to participate.

I am not fucking kidding.

You see, humans at least have the capacity to
understand what’s happening to them in any given
shitstorm. All animals know is pain and fear and they
don’t know why.

A similiar story comes on Anderson Cooper 360 as I
write this. I cannot watch it. I change the channel.

How could any human participate in such a barbaric and
elaborately premeditated undertaking? It would have
to be a being in possession of an entirely dark soul.
One utterly lacking compassion and decency. One
abundant in cruelty and viciousness. Depraved.
Stinking and rotting.

Domesticated animals, if provided with the merest
modicum of care and affection respond with
unconditional love.

This man if guilty, is culpable of more than violent
vivisection, he is responsible for robbing potentially
loving animals of their innocence and therefore, their
souls.

If he’s guilty, then fuck this piece of shit. No fate
is bad enough. A stain on humankind.

I would gleefully dance on a man’s head and sing, were that man just stupid enough to abuse an animal in front of me.

Try me.

Drinks for my friends.

I just now remembered that one day, five or seven
years ago, a friend unknowingly demonstrated that had no idea how to pet a cat. He patted and stroked The Gurry awkwardly, without any
rythm. This, despite the fact that he had two of his own. It
was obvious that the pleasure of the cat was not even
in the periphery of the moment for him.

For reasons unrelated, I now think of this guy as a complete douchebag.

I’ve never been able to write a damn thing in
longhand. The tempo is all wrong. I must have a
keyboard. Plus, I loathe the physical act of writing.
Filling out a check or the return address on an
envelope represents a major pain in the ass to me.
I hate deposit slips.

As a kid I was fascinated by the maginfying effect of
water. I kept all manner of things submerged in
glasses and jars full of water. Rocks, marbles,
cereal box toys, coins……………

I can actually see sounds. What a cool thing it is to
have made records and then listen to them.
“Swallowing colrs of the sounds I hear” -Ozzy

I used to think most people weren’t stupid, they just
failed to pay attention. Now I’m not so sure. I
catch myself not paying attention and I’m not stupid.

The difference between Rosie and Paris is that Rosie
stands for something. It matters not how foolish or wise.
Paris is held aloft by our collective gasp, whether it
be in disgust, dismay or disbelief.

Dick Cheney is the most evil motherfucker to ever SERVE AT THE PLEASURE OF THE AMERICAN PEOPLE. This is because he has never given a mad fuck about a single one of us. I fucking hate him and his little dog Dumbya too.

Sorry. Yay team.

Lewis Black on Stewart just said that a fake news show on Fox should show real news. I love this guy. I love that Stewart won’t let the latest Cheney hubris go. Way to go my little Jack Russel Terrier.

Coors Light has labels that turn white mountains blue when the bottle reaches an acceptable temperature for consumption. Genius.

CNN 360 with Andy C has been rockin the enviromental tip of late. Good for them. Andy himself endeavors to be remembered for never having spake the name of America’s favorite heiress. You gotta love that.

By the way, the last five or seven blogs I’ve posted have all included records I produced, recorded and or mixed in the ‘tell us what you’re listening to’ section. I used to be cool.

My shrink and I have had numerous protracted conversations about social networking via the internet and my level of participation in said. She’s careful to focus on the role it plays in my overall social sphere and she never strays into the pejorative.

It’s days like today that provide the most petite of ephinanies. I understand her emphasis, now that I cannot send or recieve messages on myspace and I want to kill harmless birds with a fork.

I honestly feel a low frequency shittiness right now.

Myspace is a pretty vital communication conduit for me. I interact with a lot of people every day on it. I’ve made good friends, rediscovered old ones and even found hot women to make out with and buy dinner for. I’m somewhere over twenty two thousand hits on my blogs.

It’s like I bit my tongue or pissed myself. It won’t go away.

And oh my, it is indeed darkest before the dawn. The lord taketh away and he giveth. The storm was violent and it did so raineth and bloweth on the land, as to have us believe our demise was imminent. Yet at the last possible moment, when my streets were awash and my infants in danger of being swept away, the clouds did part and the sun did more than showeth.

Seems like my goddamn mail is finally working again.

Takes pistol out of mouth and places it on table pointing away.

Drinks for my friends.

So, it’s Memorial Day.

Happy Memorial Day.

What’s that supposed to mean?

No matter which side of the the current conflict you’re on, how could anyone possibly be happy about it?

Today we’re supposed to reflect on and be grateful for those who have served and survived as well as those who have fallen. I am. I am grateful. It is a sacrifice that I cannot imagine.

I remember my uncle Danny. He came to stay with us after serving in Vietnam and an honorable discharge from the army. I was five or six. He was quiet but happy to be home. We slept in the same room and the dial of his radium painted watch glowed perpetually in the dark. He had a bullet scar on his shoulder. He was the youngest of my mother’s ten siblings.

A number of my uncles were in the military and even a few cousins. My father’s brother fought, my father was declared 4F. Besides my father’s brother Eldon, who fought in WWII and whom I didn’t really know, uncle Danny was the only one in my extended family to see combat.

Funny how they both ended up abusing alcohol.

As far as I know, he’s uttered aproximately two sentences about it in forty years. I was present for one of those sentences last summer at a family renunion. I was drunk and so was he, I don’t remember what he said.

I then got drunker with cousins Angie, Todd, Rob, shithead Rod, Derrick my coolest inlaw cousin and his wife Marlow………….it goes on and on. Tyke and Bobby, Fred and Sharon, John and Jody, Birdy and Ken, Jim and Carlene, Uncle Larry and Und uncle Skip (Skid), Shirley and Bob…………….It was a big ass collection of at least half crazy white people in the woods of eastern Washington State. You would not have wanted to stumble into that camp after dark if you were a stranger. Most of the Hardings keep a gun close by and so do most of the inlaws. I digress.

Uncle Danny is the sum of my experience with a combat veteran. Like I said, he hasn’t had much to say.

So I’ve got no legitimate personal stake in this. But it really chaps my ass. It’s wrong. Everyone is starting to realize it. Finally.

Once you buy that it’s a lie, and that’s a crucial step because it is, there’s really not much left other than the loss of life.

The emperor is naked and really disgusting to look at. He and his administration are why everyone is dying and having their limbs blown off and brains spilling out of their fucking heads.

The world used to love us because of our global exploits in the name of “Freedom”. Now, they hate us.

Newsflash you asshats: They don’t hate us because of Rosie O’donnell, they hate us because of Dick-in-Bush. And so do I.

Just yesterday I heard some fucktard on the radio trying to make a case for Rosie not supporting the troops and equating them to terrorists. This empty, jingoistic, rhetorical whaleshit is beginning to fossilize.

In other words, that dog don’t hunt. That brush don’t hold no paint. I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say that if you disagree with the previous two sentiments, you’re either stupid or ignorant. Perhaps willfully ignorant, a fate worse than passing a stone.

It’s all over but the dying. How long that goes on is up to our elected and our ability to sneak smoldering coals into their anal clefts.

Nearly thirty thousand Americans wounded and approaching thirty five hundred dead. Estimates of Iraqi dead are well north of a half million. Nothing accomplished and for no fucking reason. In fact, not only nothing accomplished but an actual deficit in that regard.

This is really stupid and so are we. I agree with Sean Penn. They should all be in fucking jail for what they have done.

Drinks for my friends. Happy holiday.

Two things.

a) 5 subpoenas vs. 1052.

b) The Bill Moyers Journal debut “Buying The War”.

I’m gonna try to make a point here.

a) The Clinton administration, during it’s tenure, battled over a thousand subpoenas on individuals ranging from travel agents to Big Bad Bill hisself.

So far, the most corrupt, avaricious, arrogant administration in the history of the very idea of democracy, has made it’s way through a shitstorm of venom dripping wasps who produced a total of five subpoenas. Five. Three of them barely twenty four hours old.

Now, I know that we’ve had control of the house for a meager three months and there is no control to be had in the senate. But you gotta be fucking kidding me.

b) And then we consider Bill Moyers’ PBS offering of dogs and ponies. It was compelling. Well done. Revealing. I’m not sure I blinked.

Now, I’m a fan of Mr. Moyers. I’ve read his stuff. Smart, honest guy. And he did showcase the truth. It’s just that everyone from Rather to Russert, Judith Miller, William Safire, and Charles Krauthammer were confused and forgot to question an obvious superfund site of toxic lies. Humongous, not breathtaking, but lung collapsing lies.

You gotta be fucking kidding me.

I’m thinking to myself; I KNEW. I mean, I knew. Without a shadow of a doubt, it was obvious what was going on and most of the people around me were well aware as well. Even if we were in the minority, what does that say about the entirety of the American media juggernaut?

It says they’re either idiots or wimps, not excluding the possibility of some elixir thereof.

After listening to the news today and watching Moyers a day after it aired, I’m inclined to think that the media has become a doppelganger of the government. I use the the article ‘the’ as opposed to ‘our’, because neither institution has belonged to the people for some time.

I shouldn’t be suprised and it was serendipity that revealed to me that, just like our government, the fourth estate is full of a bunch of stupid fucking pussies.

Drinks for my friends.

Good-bye Joe, me gotta go, me oh my oh
Me gotta go pole the pirogue down the bayou
My Yvonne, the sweetest one, me oh my oh
Son of a gun, we’ll have big fun on the bayou

Jambalaya and a crawfish pie and file’ gumbo
‘Cause tonight I’m gonna see my ma cher amio
Pick guitar, fill fruit jar and be gay-o
Son of a gun, we’ll have big fun on the bayou

Thibodeaux, Fontainenot, the place is buzzin’
Kinfolk come to see Yvonne by the dozen
Dress in style and go hog wild, me oh my oh
Son of a gun, we’ll have big fun on the bayou

Jambalaya and a crawfish pie and file’ gumbo
‘Cause tonight I’m gonna see my ma cher amio
Pick guitar, fill fruit jar and be gay-o
Son of a gun, we’ll have big fun on the bayou

Settle down, far from town, get me a pirogue
And I’ll catch all the fish in the bayou
Swap my mon to buy Yvonne what she need-o
Son of a gun, we’ll have big fun on the bayou

Jambalaya and a crawfish pie and file’ gumbo
‘Cause tonight I’m gonna see my ma cher amio
Pick guitar, fill fruit jar and be gay-o
Son of a gun, we’ll have big fun on the bayou

Hank Williams Sr. “Jambalaya”

***********************************************************************

Sometimes, I just can’t countenance the randomness of
life.

I mean, why is the matter of Iraq even a debate?

What are we doing?

We have Darfur.

Before that, Rwanda.

Around the same time, Kosovo and Croatia.

There, we chose to intervene. Perhaps ten thousand
white people.

In Rwanda, close to a million.

Darfur, hundreds of thousands.

HERE’S THE DEAL.

We have as much control over the natural resources and
industry in those two African countries as we desire
at this point.

Our powers that be, the American crucible, decided
long ago that they cannot afford to have
another entire continent sucking at the tit of what
little milk mother earth has left.

So we ignore them. Take what we need, sprinkle
antibiotics on the corrupt governments so they can
sell them on the black market while we take more of what we
need.

We allow the Catholic church to forbid condoms, while
the people procreate and then die of sexually transmitted
disease.

Let’s be honest here; distribute condoms and tell
them how to use them if you want to at least begin
saving them.

But no. Our alleged morals prevent us from promoting
promiscuity.

What are we doing?

It’s fucking sick.

************************************************************************

We obsess over vacuous bimbos most likely blond. One
dead and the other imploding and unable to keep her
cooch away from a camera lense.

We simply, have no idea whatsoever.

As we live and contemplate our next purchase, there
are children that lack the strength to keep flies out
of their mouths. Worms emerge from their extremities
with excruciating pain . These people are sick and
death surrounds them. They suffer beyond our capacity
to imagine.

What are we doing?

And in our own country. We incarcerate more people
per capita than any nation on earth.

A storm, a massive storm, slammed our gulf region and
the damage and the people remain without solace. They
are forgotten in our own country.

Our veterans from a bullshit war, a war based on lies
that has done nothing more than make every aspect of
every angle look look foolish and greedy, our soldiers,
now languish in their own urine.

Dick-in Bush began their tenure as thespians on the world stage with Attorney General and freakshow John Ashcroft. Kept his penis in a Gerber babyfood jar on the nightstand and was genuinely offended by the naked breast of a one hundred year old statue. He walked.

Our aronists laureate replaced him with a good soldier. One wannabe member of the Fourth Reich named Alberto R. Gonzales.

And just today, we learn that Dick-in-Bush floated an idea that would have had U.S. Attorney General Gonzales fire all 93 U.S. attorneys and replace them with more like minded sycophantic cronies. Are you fucking serious?

Yes, I am.

The biggest thorn in the side of this administration thus far, and it ain’t saying much, has been an independent judiciary. Hardly independent after the highest court in the land handed the 2000 presidential election to a gibbon in a suit in a decision that was completely outside their jurisdiction. I mean, when it comes to procedural matters regarding voting, it’s clearly an issue of state’s rights. Why has no one else raised an objection based on this?

Seriously. I came up with that on my own. Never heard it anywhere else.

You all now owe me a can of beer. Cold.

As a result, eight were fired. Seven in the same day. For “poor performance”.

Today Alberto’s chief of staff, D. Kyle Sampson, walked away. Big suprise. He resigned because he is aware of just how far off the cliff the story is likely to go. Say…….plunging. I’m going with plunging.

Boys and girls, this is the judicial branch of our government we’re talking about here. The check to the balance. The deliberate erosion of such an institution will surely coincide with the atrophy of our republic. It is the last bulwark we have as a free people against
tyranny.

It’s sick.

What are we doing?

The ideas of truth and justice in this country have now become mere concepts. Both, archaic and obsolete.

************************************************************************

We have failed.

As a society.

As a country.

As a people.

We have failed.

This is really bad. We walk away. We play the lotto.
We watch reality TV. We suck.

Who’s paying attention? How often are we thinking
about this?

As I sit and type, our arsonists laureate plan the next conflagration. They replace the letter ‘Q’ with the letter ‘N’ and off we go.

What are we doing?

Thanks for indulging me……………..

Drinks for my friends.

Now they’re planning the crime of the century

Well what will it be?

Read all about their schemes and adventuring

It’s well worth a fee

So roll up and see

And they rape the universe

How they’ve gone from bad to worse

Who are these men of lust, greed, and glory?

Rip off the masks and let’s see.

But that’s not right – oh no, what’s the story?

There’s you and there’s me

That can’t be right

Supertramp “Crime Of The Century”

What are we doing?

Speaking Friday at the annual Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) in Washington, D.C., Coulter closed her remarks with: “I was going to have a few comments on the other Democratic presidential candidate, John Edwards, but it turns out you have to go into rehab if you use the word ‘faggot,’ so I – so kind of an impasse, can’t really talk about Edwards.”

This, from the same woman who, when commenting on her percieved latent homosexuality of Bill Clinton said “I don’t know if he’s gay. But Al Gore – total fag.”

Thanks Ann. I’m so grateful that you were able to frame the debate for us in such a way as to make it crystal fucking clear that all three individuals, their contributions to society, their intellectual prowess and their goodwill, are all rendered obsolete by your profoundly spurious assertion that they are gay.

You see, I’m quite sure that Ms. Coulter is the right wing equivalent of Andrew Dice Clay. It’s schtick. Dice admitted that his misogyny was an act. Coulter has yet to own her bigotry, homophobia and otherwise incendiary rhetoric as anything other than genuine. Perhaps it’s funny to the uptight diamond crapping rednecks and lone wolf Dick-in-Bush supporters, I don’t know. I stopped laughing a long time ago.

This simian phalanged cunt has done nothing more than pollute the once fairly pure waters of public discourse to the point where this sort of thing is not seen for what it is, but is rather held by conventional wisdom to be um , funny.

What a shame. What a goddamn shame.

The same woman who barked, with her overtly masculine adam’s apple bobbing in her freakishly elongated neck, “These broads are millionaires, lionized on TV and in articles about them, reveling in their status as celebrities and stalked by grief-arazzis. I’ve never seen people enjoying their husbands’ deaths so much.” She was of course, talking about 9/11 widows.

Again, thanks Ann. Bitchcunt.

I don’t doubt that someday the contents of Ms. Coulter’s closet will be revealed and we will then be treated to all manner of nefarious fuckery. There will likely be proof that she is indeed genetically male and the progeny of chimpanzees.

Either that or her secrets will remain with her to the grave and she will die prematurely from the sheer strain of holding those evil waters inside.

Really what it’s about is ignoring her. It’s simple. Ignore her. She’s chumping both sides. Schtick. We hate her, they love her. We are wrong and so are they.

Change the channel.

Drinks for my friends.

Is intelligence learned or inherent?

Are people born good or evil?

Why do we toast bread? I mean it’s already cooked.

Are you aware that there are people who actually eat
pickled pig’s feet?

I gotta tell ya, I hate those damn ear piece cell
phones. Yo. Uhura, you opening a frequency for me to
talk to a giant hemispherical pizza? Forgive me, but
you all look egregiously stupid.

What’s the deal here with the whole Anna Nicole dog
and pony show? I always felt a little sorry for her.
On the other hand, she got a lot of mileage out of
a pretty empty tank.

The cavalcade of dipshits that have surfaced in her
wake is um, well, it’s really annoying. I resent the
attention Americans are willing to pay. Factor in the
profoundly ridiculous antics of the judge and you’ve
got the equivalent of a flaming pile up on the 405 for
a nation of rubberneckers.

I swear I’m not watching. At least, not on purpose.

Then there’s Ms. Spears. Is there not a single
individual in this woman’s life that can at least try
to mitigate her public implosion?

Are these two conflagrations being orchestrated by the
neocons just to take attention off of their endless
bloodthirsty fuckery? Cheney had Anna killed and her
baby was fathered by Karl Rove. There was no
intercourse however, it was the most antiseptic in
vitro process available. As a matter of fact, Rove
recieved a vigorous prostate massage from a rather
muscular former female shot putter to produce the
necessary seed. As a consolation prize, they let
Rumsfeld shave the young trollop’s head.

In all seriousness, what is your favorite fruit juice?

Timmy, after attending a performance by Flogging Molly
last night, appeared positively crooked this morning.
He was fine after Big Mike showed up with a twelve
pack. You know, he always picks his nose in my car
when I give him a ride home.

Ok, sorry for the self indulgence.

Now, who wants pie?

Smoke ’em if you got ’em.

When was the last time you went through a turnstile?

I have to tell you, I’ve been watching CNN solely
because of a story they’re doing on an autiistic woman
who happens to be able to communicate via keyboard and
voice synthesizer very well. It is fascinating as
well as enchanting. One of the most interesting
things I’ve ever seen on television. Autistic
perception is so much different than ours. This woman
cannot utter a single word, yet she types faster than
some can talk and what she has to say is profound and
disorienting. Not at all what most of us regard as
linear thought. Perhaps autism is the antithesis of
retardation despite how closely it may resemble it to
the uninitiated. It occurs to me that these people
may just be hyper intuitive beyond our our
neuro-typical (her word) ability to understand.
Awesome!

It raises questions about things like insanity and
what we could learn if dolphins had digits and were
able to type.

Pubic lice. Discuss.

The guitar solo in “My Sharona”, when radio plays the
whole thing, rips my fuckin head off every time.

I’ve really got to apoligize for all this. I felt
like writing but had nothing to say. A good friend
told me that my last blog was “beneath me”. All I
know is, it amused me while I wrote it.

How many got this far? Raise your hands.

All the presidents men were in my hometown yesterday.
Same place as my first ever audio gig out of school.
Interesting that Obama wasn’t there. He was
unavailable before he and the female Clinton began to
exchange blows.

My sister tells me Hills was impressive.

That is all.

Drinks for my friends.

And now, as we stand swaying, drunk with hubris, ignorance and power that we longer possess, swaying on the precipice of world war three, a complete disaster and perhaps what these necons seem so anxious for, the apocolypse, we learn that Condi Rice may have forgotten to tell us about something that would make the whole catastrophe moot.

My apologies for the length of that sentence. Try to stay with me.

details here and here

Apparently, there was a serious overture on the part of both the religious and political leadership at the time (2003) in Iran to not only support America’s military efforts in the region, but to also recognize Israel as a legitimate state and to engage in cogent efforts to extinguish terrorism including relinquishing ties to Hezbollah and Hamas.

We haven’t had diplomatic relations with this country since 1979 and Dr. Condoleezza Rice doesn’t remember anything about such a magnanimous and historically significant proposal. Despite the fact that Colin Powell told the the aide to Rice (Flynt Leverett) that there would be no sale at the White House.

She doesn’t remember. What’s new? Libby can’t remember shit and Dick-in-Bush act like they’re in that Ground Hog Day movie with Bill Murray.

Forgive me. Are you fucking kidding me? We walked away from that?

Dick-in-Bush and Condi too, kicked this golden goose to death and then pretended like it had never arrived on a Pennsylvania Avenue doorstep in a pretty gift wrapped basket.

Hey America! This is your foreign policy at work. Stare down the throat of the gift horse and then beat it over the head with a sledge until it draws it’s last breath in pain and confusion.

Could it be that they welcome with glee the notion of these poor bastards emerging from their holes festooned with open sores and lesions from radiation poisoning as a result of either our or Israel’s nuclear tipped bunker busters? Not unlike the undead? Like fucking zombies who are well aware of their expiration date? There are a ton of them that think very little of walking into a crowded marketplace and detonating themselves and burning and exploding everyone around them.

Am I scaring you yet? It’s right around the goddamn corner.

I intend to stay on this subject for awhile. It is literally the most important subject in the world today.

Two carrier groups and a third on the way soon. We’re standing at the fence in the front yard. They really have no choice but to wait for us to come over the fence and start shooting. And then, they will. And then. We will.

This is all a really stupid game for a prize that is in everyone’s best interest to render obsolete.

Watch for the fireworks kids. Nightly over Teheran. Sometime this spring.

Drinks for my friends………..

Submitted for your approval, the drama unfolding on an ever bleaker world stage, on this day the thirteenth of February in the year of 2007.

As a second carrier group steams toward the gulf this week, Newsweek reports that a third is likely to follow soon. Do we have any idea the havoc that can be wrought by three aircraft carrier groups and nearly sixty warships total? How many nukes are on those ships and on the submarines that are surely lurking underneath?

From the Associated Press today and lifted directly from my friend Doug’s blog:

Pace contradicts claims by other U.S. military, administration officials
The Associated Press
Updated: 3:32 p.m. ET Feb 13, 2007
JAKARTA, Indonesia – A top U.S. general said Tuesday there was no evidence the Iranian government was supplying Iraqi insurgents with highly lethal roadside bombs, apparently contradicting claims by other U.S. military and administration officials.

Gen. Peter Pace, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, said U.S. forces hunting down militant networks that produced roadside bombs had arrested Iranians and that some of the material used in the devices were made in Iran.

“That does not translate that the Iranian government per se, for sure, is directly involved in doing this,” Pace told reporters in the Indonesian capital, Jakarta. “What it does say is that things made in Iran are being used in Iraq to kill coalition soldiers.”

His remarks might raise questions on the credibility of the claims of high-level Iranian involvement, especially following the faulty U.S. intelligence that was used to justify the invasion of Iraq in 2003.

Three senior military officials in Baghdad said Sunday that the highest levels of Iranian government were responsible for arming Shiite militants in Iraq with the bombs, blamed for the deaths of more than 170 U.S. troops

Asked Monday directly if the White House was confident that the weaponry is coming on the approval of the Iranian government, spokesman Tony Snow said, “Yes.”

Iran on Monday denied any involvement.

“Such accusations cannot be relied upon or be presented as evidence. The United States has a long history in fabricating evidence. Such charges are unacceptable,” Foreign Ministry spokesman Mohammad Ali Hosseini told reporters in Tehran.

Also, new Secretary of Defense Robert Gates said on Friday that he’s “not frankly specifically certain myself of the details”.

And today our new commander in the region Admiral William J. Fallon said “I have no idea who may be with hands on, on this stuff”.

David Gergen on CNN, no friend of us peaceniks, just called the whole thing “wierd and botched”.

The emperor is buck naked, sporting gooseflesh and he appears to be jaundiced. Even though his eyes leak tears from the Washington winter cold, he stands before us completely unaware that our gaze is drawn to his shriveled purple phallus. He knows not of his own leaflessness.

But his his sack is huge and distended by the swollen fruit within.

There’s a fine line between clever and stupid. Rest assured that the balls of The Decider In Chief are massive by reason of stupidity. Also know that these are not those of brass the we’ve come to so admire on some leaders. The testes adorning this village idiot are no more durable than overripe grapes. He knows nothing of this either.

Snot leaks from nostrils and spittle flies from his mouth agape as his bird like head head pivots to catch sight of a horrified citizen pointing and gawking at his shrunken manhood and a grossly oversized pair of man produce.

Iran has a thriving modern infrastructure and it’s military is certainly no paper tiger like that of Iraq. It is a civilized country nearly three times the size of Iraq with a population of nearly seventy million that has grown and prospered unfettered by sanctions from the west.

Those who would charge that various weapons are sourced from Iran and that the highest levels of it’s government are complicit, have no evidence to support such claims and their names are being kept secret on their own insistence. That makes me all warm and fuzzy.

Iraq is a miasma of dominoes that we continue to kick over with no idea of when or where they will stop tipping into others. Iran is a massive forest of the metaphorical slabs that our arsonists laureate, Dick-in-Bush, are gearing up to topple en masse in all directions. Once they get started, I won’t be suprised to see the Iranian army spilling across the the Iraqi border.

Wthout question, chaos will then have siezed the reigns in the Middle East and there’s no predicting where it will end. I can virtually guaruntee that the 3,100 plus dead Americans and some where around three quarters of a million dead Iraqis will suddenly become Sesame Street numbers in the scheme of things. The violence, carnage, destruction and horror we’ve witnessed so far will rapidly become Fisher Price.

Already we use ammunition containing lethal amounts of depleted uranium in Iraq without any regard. Finally, mainstream media has begun to notice. White phosphorus, torture, kidnapping and rendering, war profiteering…………I mean pallets of cash. Pallets of four hundred thousand dollar bricks or “footballs”. Of fucking cash!

And they continue to hammer away with a heavy sledge, at our liberties, our rights.

And now they want another war.

Think about that.

On top of one that will surely bankrupt us.

On top of the one with no end in sight.

On top of the one that has left us completely bereft of credibility in the world.

Our arsonists laureate, Dick-in-Bush. seek to gash open another wound, with the old one still bleeding profusely, not knowing or caring if it causes all of us to bleed out.

My hero, Hunter S. Thompson once said that when the going gets wierd, the wierd turn pro. I’m starting to wonder if he meant that we will not have a choice.

Take a look at who our arsonists laureate want to burn next

‘Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.
‘Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!’
He took his vorpal sword in hand:
Long time the manxome foe he sought–
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
And stood awhile in thought.
And as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!
One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.
‘And hast thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!’
He chortled in his joy.
‘Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

Drinks for my friends.

Sometimes males behave in a fashion towards the opposite sex that causes me to cringe. We tend to be rude, to objectify and conduct ourselves as compassionless, insensitive and sometimes sociopathic fucktards. I’m regularly embarrassed.

It’s really a wrongheaded, testosterone fueled shame.

And I admit, I’ve been guilty of it.

Women, on the other hand, can be guilty of many of the same things. Often they choose to generalize and view us all as Cro-Magnon beasts, barely tolerable save for our ability to make fire and bring home meat.

Most of the time, it’s not fair.

There are times however, that I don’t blame them.

Now, white men. It’s not the first time I’ve had a reason to pause and feel that sting of shame over something another caucasian has said or done. The last few days however, have been a little beyond discomfiting.

We’re all well aware of the horrors committed by us, white men, throughout history. Vast genocides of indigenous peoples. Bullshit religious crusades. Supression, discrimination, enslavement and exploitation. We suck.

I’m sorry and I’m doing the best I can.

Then, just yesterday, it came to light that in a recent interview, a man I have admired until now, stuck both feet in his mouth in such a way as to make me wince hard. He didn’t stop there. After he’d ignorantly masticated his own feet, he beat himself about the head and neck with what was left of his bleeding stumps.

I’m talking about Joe Biden.

The first time I noticed him, his teeth clenched and he was ready to come over the table at John Ashcroft during one of the very first forays into torture conducted by congress during this war.

Yesterday I heard him say, “I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy … I mean, that’s a storybook, man.”

Articulate, bright and clean?

Oh, man.

Then other things came to the fore. He’s a plagiarist. His remarks about immigrant employees of convenience stores are just despicable. “you cannot go to a 7-Eleven or a Dunkin’ Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent.”

What?

You know, I don’t give a mad fuck what he meant or was trying to say. If he is dumb enough, out of touch enough and ignorant enough to say such things, and he clearly is, then this man has no business representing a single voter in America.

It occurs to me that Joe Biden is a racist.

That sucks. Although I never paid too much attention, I liked what I saw. But I didn’t see this.

Not nearly enough good for the bad, methinks.

Bullshit on that. Drinks for my friends.