Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Progressives are despondent, Democrats diluted and liberals dismayed.

All the while, Republicans get their mad on and the Tea Party spilleth over.

I’m well aware of the predictable dynamic that virtually dictates that the party in power, particularly when of the executive branch, will suffer losses in a mid-term election.  Okay, yeah, I get it.

But have you seen who they’re running?

Sharron Angle and Rand Paul are thoroughly pissing up ropes, profoundly out of touch, nonsense palavering, goofcocks who have actually long since bought what they’re selling.  Last I checked, they’re both still competitive.  Sheezus.  They are dangerous because they have long since bought what they seek to sell.  Such a distinction is important.  Salient.  It means they are dumb.  Or at least willfully ignorant.  You think Hannity and Limbaugh smoke what they peddle?  No way.  Limbaugh’s actual abuse of narcotics notwithstanding, these assholes know what they do.  Beck is likely a different story.  Therefore Beck is more dangerous; he has the courage of his bullshit convictions.

They each represent a definitively retarded phenomena.

My take on Angle here: http://www.brainspank.org/2010/08/lets-talk-about-sharron-angle-a-hit-piece/

Nathan Deal, running for Governor of Georgia after resigning from congress, is a birther.  So duh.

Dan Maes, running for Governor of Colorado thinks that a efforts to promote bike riding is some conspiracy aimed at “converting Denver into a United Nations community.” -denverpost.com

Tom Emmer, running for Governor of Minnesota, wants to lower the minimum wage for waiters and servers because he thinks they all make six figures in tips.  Every single conservative blows hard about tax cuts, but can’t be bothered to help the vanishing middle class, even with tax cuts, who would supply the bulk of America’s tax revenue, if they had jobs.  As opposed to the richest ten percent who have enjoyed tax cuts for nearly a decade and kept every penny.  So I say yes you fucktard, reduce their minimum wage and they will pay even less in taxes.

Not one of them can think their way out of a wet paper bag.

Linda McMahon?  Sure, Jessie Ventura got elected, but this is Connecticut.  And fer fucks sake, I mean fer fucks sake!

Ken Buck, running for Senate from Colorado, appears to be a fairly obvious misogynist.  He has embraced the Tea Party and then walked it back with criticism of the prince of bigots Tom Tancredo and by referring to birthers as “dumbasses”.  At the very least he’s confused and lacks the courage of any conviction.  I can’t really blame him for his confusion.  His party is a hot, dense mess.

Carly Fiorina’s (running against Barbara Boxer) campaign has vanity as it’s impetus.  She did call Boxer’s hair “so yesterday.” -usatoday.com  She’s endorsed by Sarah Palin and has actively pursued support from the Tea Party.

Forgive my instant assessment, but when you party with the Tea Party, it’s all I need to know.

Mark Rubio is a financial, tax cuts for the rich/ trickle down economics, douchebag.  He’s consistently unable to account for is own fiscal policy positions.  Unable to explain or even offer how they would be paid for when hard evidence demonstrates they’ll likely add over three trillion to the the deficit.  Much the same way Boehner kept stepping on his dick under fire from David Gregory on Meet The Press when asked the very same questions.  Russert would have taken him to task just the same but it would have enjoyed way longer legs.  A stain instead of a blip.

That man Boehner, is an idiot.

What the hell?

They look pretty sloppy and reckless from here.  It occurs to me that they ought to be careful of what they wish for.  These asshats so willingly clumsy on the campaign trail, would easily prove to be that and more in office.  Like Palin for example.  Remember, she quit as Governor of Alaska for one reason, to make money by capitalizing on the fame that losing an election for Vice President afforded her.  She hasn’t been and won’t ever be elected for anything else.  She’ll never even run.  She understands she doesn’t have the discipline and she is absolutely otherwise directed.  But I pray they run her.  I pray.  If she is so stupid and victim enough of hubris to seek the nomination, I will switch parties to vote for her.  Me and Master Bacon.  In the primary.  See?

I want the carnival of absurd that bad. The potential vulgar burlesque stirs my lobes and my lust for carnage.

Any number of these sycophantic empty headed opportunists get elected and the GOP may just suffer embarrassment for elections cycles yet to come.  Harbingers of doom perhaps.

Mayhap.

It’s a stretch, but there is some logic in the notion that we may not have much to lose in the long run.  The tsunami the main stream media seems determined to prognosticate ad nauseum may yet spill over America and it will be an embarrassing disaster for the GOP.  These people are idiots.  They can’t lead, they can’t legislate, they specialize exclusively in their sole ability to demagogue.  Worst case scenario is we’re forced yet again to learn the hard way.  Another protracted learning curve while the hole deepens and deepens and deepens……..while they step on their own pudenda, over and over.  Exploiting the zeitgeist that intellectual prowess is a commodity to be suspicious of the whole time.

Worse case scenario, we’ll finally have learned what what we should have already known just in time to understand there’s barely dick left.

So, it’s the big picture and the short term.  Feel me?

The media is salivating for a slaughter.  That just doesn’t have to be.  Pull up your goddamn pants fer fuck’s sake.  This ain’t easy but it’s not brain surgery either.  Try not to lose sight of the fact that as determined as these fucks are, they’re still really dumb.

You know, just because we’ve elected our first African American President during a Democratic majority in both houses of congress doesn’t necessarily mean we get everything we want.  What it’s turned into is humongous blockage of the pipes that deliver sewage to the treatment plant and a simultaneously egregious restriction of the flow of clean potable water for all of us, regardless of party affiliation or ideological subscription.

“You can’t always get what you want
You can’t always get what you want
You can’t always get what you want
But if you try sometimes you just might find
You just might find
You get what you need”

Drinks for my friends.

I’ll tell you without reservation, that it is one of the funniest situation comedies I’ve ever seen.  Absolute no shit ridiculous.  Shot in a style that openly mocks reality television and all it’s inherent flaws.  The protagonists are often the antagonists and of course, end over end.  Not without tragedy like too much salt or Tapatio in the Hamburger Helper but always hysterical.  It can be painful to watch but it’s always absurd.  The best comedy has it’s fingers in the truth.  It’s a prerequisite.  All In The Family, not Happy Days.  Hell, even the Daily Show uses tragedy almost exclusively to make us laugh.  No dearth of glut there.  Or here.  Never is these days, never has been anyway.

No comedy can be entertaining without tragedy,  No tragedy is worth entertaining without some comedy.

They deliberately walk the line between the heart that feels and the mind that jeers.

Not much objectionable.  Very little violence with the exception of occasional gun play where no one ever gets shot, no gore and very little sex.  Squeaky clean if not for the copious bombing of the word fuck and it’s every iteration.  That and all leading characters are drunks and/or dope dealers who live in a Canadian trailer park with a quotient of white trash that might not find peer in Alabama or Ohio or Nevada.

The premise is simple.  A handful of relativity harmless not yet middle aged fuck ups, in a sea of less than overachievers, trying everything there is save honest work to get ahead.  In a Canadian trailer park.  It really is brilliant.  I can’t help but adore it.

Julian is the ring leader and by far the most charismatic.  Not terribly bright and never, ever without a drink in his hand.  Whether in jail, driving or knocking over a liquor store.  Occasionally demonstrating common sense and always bringing the big picture, the go to guy.  We want to root for Julian but he’s a dumbass.

Ricky is the dumbest and arguably the funniest.  He laces reflexive malapropisms with a propensity for confessional soliloquy that often devolves into his exclusive brand of crap, plastic wisdom.  I stand by that last sentence………..in lieu, of a paragraph. Ricky is a bit of a sociopath, yet hardly dangerous.  Ricky burns his father’s trailer down while attempting to cook french fries, getting drunk and getting laid.  Ricky’s father then takes up residence at the town dump in the sleeper cab he once owned as a trucker before he embarked on a course faking disability for a government check.  We want to root for Ricky and his father but they are consummate dumbasses.

Bubbles is easily the smartest and most compassionate.  He lives in a shed and loves kitties.  Makes his living repairing shopping carts or stealing them from one of two malls and selling them to the other.  His mode of transportation is a go cart he always pilots helmeted with goggles and often uses to tow the shopping carts that are his stock in trade.  He dreams of owning and operating a kitty day care.  They call him Bubbles because he loves bubbles.  We root for Bubbles.  We should, we have to because there is no one else.

Randy is a whore.  He prefers to go shirtless, despite the Canadian winter and his enormous gut.  When not prostituting himself for cheeseburgers, he makes his money as a male prostitute.  He’s an ally and lover of trailer park supervisor Mr. Leahy and an occasional lover of Mr. Leahy’s estranged wife and trailer park owner Barbara.  He will literally do any goddamn thing for a cheeseburger.  Randy is the epitome of pitiful, clueless but always defaulting to his own simple heart.  We can’t root for Randy; he’s just too goddamn dumb.

Mr. Leahy is a retired cop, trailer park supervisor and chronic alcoholic that drives a completely roofless car.  With a Hunter S. Thompson countenance,  he is the constant attempted foil to our “Trailer Park Boys”.  It’s a ridiculous “Scooby Doo” allegory, he never prevails.  Always foiled by the meddling kids.  We don’t root for Leahy, he’s too far gone and we’re just not supposed to.

We are left to root reluctantly for characters we can’t completely get behind and that is the beauty of the entire thing.  It’s gorgeous in it’s absence of anything at all redeeming in any meaningful way.  Genius escapism; allowing viewers to feel better about themselves while watching near blind hamsters take a turns at the wheel of their lives.  It is tragic and it is simultaneously funny as fuck.

Like I said, I adore it.

As far as I can tell, it’s pretty scarce on American television.  It’s uniquely Canadian.  Why are the Canadians so much funnier than us on a pure per capita basis?  I find it on The 101 Network via Direct TV.  It’s called “Trailer Park Boys”.  Just fucking Google it.  It rocks.

Drinks for my friends.

In the winter they crawl and scurry, in the summer they fly and dart.. I loath bugs.  They make me want to wash my hands.  My biggest fear is ending up with one in my mouth.  Any of my orifices would really be a nightmare for me.  Why do they call them earwigs?  They’re not very big but they have a giant, menacing claw device at one end.  It’s like they exist to tow a weapon.

It fucks with me.

She looks at me, offers her hand and asks my name.  I give her my first and after a jagged pause my last.  The way she offers her hand is something I’ve no idea what to do with so I squeeze her fingers..  I am so fucking smooth.  I do clock that her drink is almost empty and manage to point at it and then the bartender.  She nods at him and we’re done with that.  I’ve bought her a drink without having to ask out loud.

I think to ask her name and she says Winnipeg.  I smile and tell her my name again.  She stares at me and says Winnifred.

Peggy or Winny?

I don’t know her name.

The way her lips pull back and forth over her beautiful mouth.  I want her to talk.  I want to watch her face.  I tell her it’s nice to meet her and ask her what she’s doing here.  I want to watch her talk.  She says some shit about being out and about and asks me why I’m here.  I tell her because I live across the street.  She asks me did I run out of booze and I tell her no.  I tell her my excuse for being here is better than hers.  She smiles and tells me not by much.  It’s her chin.  The way she shakes her head to emphasize.  I ask her does she want to move away from the bar.  She tells me no and then asks me what I want.

I tell her I want to watch her talk.

She smiles and tilts.

Her drink comes and I order another for me.

She tells me, “See you there.”

I watch her walk away and I can tell.  Not just what she looks like from the back but the way she walks.

How to be cool waiting by the waitress station for a drink.  I don’t stare at the bartender because he’s in control.  I need a drink and if I stare at him he’ll feel my angst and that’s not any kind of incentive to take care of me.  I’ve ordered it;  It’s in his hands.  I look at my feet and try to think about bugs.  I think about moths and how that dust from their torsos and wings gets on my fingers.

I need to wash my hands.

The Earth thaws and my drink is in front of me.  I look up as he sets it down and he tells me how the waitress could have brought it.

I get into the booth all right.

She touches my hand and asks me what I’d like to watch her talk about.

I see there’s a bug in my drink.  Bigger than a mosquito but smaller than a moth or dragonfly.  A stamen suspended in gin by diaphanous wings.  Shit.  Now I’m confused.

I ask if people call her Wendy.

Drinks for my friends.

XY7YMFMCN4N2

I watch a lot of that liberal, progressive,  socialist, pinko media. Olbermann, Maddow, The Daily Show, Hardball, The Colbert Report………..love Bill Maher and Michael Moore.  I’m a voracious reader: The Huffington Post, Daily Kos, Truthout, The Nation, Salon…….you get the idea.  I do my level best to monitor the other side, I listen to Limbaugh and Hannity everyday for as long as I can possibly stand it.  Fucking blow hards be as they may.

So it’s sometimes difficult to abstain from merely parroting various points of view, being a liberal, progressive socialist, pinko myself.  Often I’ll author a piece only to discover that an article, op-ed or televised segment is so congruent to what I’ve already written that I fear being accused of plagiarism.  Great minds think alike?  It’s true, they do.  Having said that, I can’t help but agree with Olbermann’s special comment this eve and endeavor to expound on it.

See, the other day, White House spokesman Robert Gibbs waded in with some fairly innocuous sentiments: “I hear these people saying he’s like George Bush. Those people ought to be drug tested,” Gibbs told The Hill’s Sam Youngman, in an interview published Tuesday. “I mean, it’s crazy.” -The Washington Post.  Yes, that is crazy.  George Dumbya Bush was an inarticulate, intellectually incurious puppet.  A consummate fool.  Obama is much further down the the road than that.  He is his own man and I believe him to be doing what he believes is the best he can.  However not good enough it is.

He also said less auspiciously: “This “professional left,” he added, “will be satisfied when we have Canadian health care and we’ve eliminated the Pentagon. That’s not reality.” -The Washington Post”  Well, that’s a little slipperier.  As for the former, I Remember Obama campaigning on single payer and affordability of prescription drugs like Canada.  But before the health care debate even had flame beneath, single payer was off the table and the public option was on the altar at the church of big pharma/big insurance with a knife wagging from it, gore and vital fluids oozing.  All this sacrificed, before the shouting even began.  Why did that happen?  The hard right does not even pretend at the spirit of compromise.  They are there for the whole pot or to insure that nobody leaves with a goddamn thing.  The current administration appears to have not yet figured this out  Regarding the latter, I’d be more than happy with a 2.5 sided building devoted to our massive expenditures, more than any other nation, to killing, as long as the other 2.5 sides could be devoted to fomenting peace, prosperity, potable water and nutritious foods and all that.  That would be cool.

He also said something like, and I’m paraphrasing here, that we of the left wouldn’t be happy if  Kucinich were President.  Well, Kucinich was my first choice, I called him the “little paste eater” because he was geeky but had the the courage of his convictions and the rather obvious heart of a lion.  I still like him and I can’t help but resent that observation.  I can’t help but think that he never would have folded so easily.  Pissing on Kucinich is misguided, thoughtless and sloppy.  We need him like we need Weiner and Franks and Sanders and Feingold and Grayson (telecom bullshit notwithstanding)……

Let me me tell you people something, Mr. President and your administration, something about why we’re pissed at you and why you’re frustrated at us for being pissed at you.  The amount of good you’ve been able to implement thus far, pales in comparison to the amount of havoc they were able to so expertly and efficaciously wreak in a similar amount of time.  Their hare of damage has passed your turtle and I’m fretting over your pace.  You’ve had some monumental legislative achievements for sure, but too many are in name only.  Sure you passed health care legislation but it’s weak.  A government mandate without a public option is just lame.  The protections against being denied coverage and care for pre-existing conditions are merely a financial disincentive to abide.  You appointed most of the same people who fucked us financially to prevent us from being fucked again.  Toothless legislation.  Way too many foxes in the hen house.  Don’t wag a finger at us, your base, for concerning ourselves with what is is right and fair and opposing institutionalized injustice.

Net Neutrality is in the shitter and what’s up with Elizabeth Warren?  Don’t ask don’t tell?  Gitmo?  Afghanistan? Military commissions?  The Patriot Act?  C’mon man.  Do you guys mean it or not?

Under the Bush administration, when they controlled both houses like we do now, reconciliation was used to the point of abuse.  It’s how we got tax cuts for the wealthy.  How much has that cost us?  How many times have you employed that tactic?  There is considerable doubt as I write this that your administration will even be able to resist the extension of those cuts.  And now that Democrats are in power of both the legislative and executive branches?  The threat of filibuster has been invoked more than ever in the history of the Senate.  Reconciliation Sir.  There comes a time when you fight fire with fire.

Can we get you all a testosterone cocktail?

I’m happy that you so compassionately seek to be President of all of America, to serve and and protect even those that didn’t and wouldn’t ever vote for you.  You’re a nice man.  But we don’t need a nice man.  My father, quite the brawler in his day, told me once that is hardly ever the toughest, strongest or most skilled man who wins a fight, it’s the meanest.  They hate you and everything you’re about.  Thank the powers that be that you’re smarter than them, but you need to get your mean on.  They will never give you a goddamn thing, so stop giving them anything at all.  At fucking all.  Oppose them and call them out when they so consistently act like jackasses by opposing any and all job stimulus so that the economy will be a hot mess and they will be so able and willing to blame you come November.

This is a done deal by the way.  We will lose seats because they will be successful in blaming you and your administration for this economic clusterfuck.  It’s over.  The fat lady is warming up and she’s gonna belt it out.  You’ve completely allowed yourself to be sucker punched.  The economy isn’t your fault, you probably saved us and the world from an economic depression.  But the sucker punch, that’s on you.  You all walked right into it.

I see you fighting, but not nearly hard enough.  Not even close to mean enough.

And tell your spokesholes to stop whining about us.  THEY, the right wing fucktards are your problem.  They are defining you.  We are in your corner but don’t blame us for lack of voter enthusiasm.  They smell blood and they aren’t wrong.  Make no mistake, this is a brawl.  If Democrats in general, and you in particular fail to man up, to get in there and throw hands and feet, we’re fucked.

We’ve watched for eighteen months now and you cannot blame us for being somewhat nonplussed.  If you didn’t think this was gonna get dirty ugly, maybe you don’t belong here.  We will still turn out and vote, we wouldn’t miss it because we can’t help it, but it’s not us you should be concerned with, it’s all those independents and reluctant voters that you sold that hope and change thing to.  Those people are just as unhappy and even less motivated than we are.  Quit fucking around and go punch Mitch “frog face” McConnell and and John “agent orange” Boehner hard in the mouth.  While you’re at it, bitch slap Michele Bachmann.  Stop, like Anthony Weiner said, bringing library books to a gunfight.  Let’s get this show on the goddamn road.

Nothing less than America hangs in balance.

Drinks for my friends.

I grew up in Carson City Nevada. Harry Reid is friend of my mother’s.  She worked for him as his secretary when he first appeared in the Nevada State Legislature, when he came to be known as one half of the “Gold Dust Twins” along with Dick Bryan who went on to be governor and to the U.S. Senate as well.  The first political campaign I ever worked in was for Mr. Reid when he ran for Lt. Governor against Paul Laxalt.  I was nine years old.

He lost.

A few years ago I asked my mother for an autographed copy of Harry’s autobiography “The Good Fight” for my birthday.  The following January, before my February birthday, Mr. Reid in his quiet but inimitable way, summoned my mother, since retired but working the bi-annual legislative session, to a brief private meeting.  He handed her a copy of his book, signed and inscribed.  They didn’t talk politics.  He asked about her.  Her life, her children and her husband.  She did the same.  About forty years had gone by, but they’d been in touch.  It was personal.

That night Harry Reid kissed my mother on the cheek on live television in the State Senate chambers after delivering a speech.

The preface is necessary.  I’m compelled, in the interest of disclosure, because I have no intention of recusing myself from another task for which I feel compelled.  Said task would be a sincere examination of that crazy bitch who would usurp the power and position Mr. Reid has fought for and earned, a position that finds Harry Reid one of the most powerful men in America.

I will tell you that I have vehemently disagreed with Harry.  Often.  No one individual can be expected to consistently agree with another unless such an individual does not know his own mind or is willing to ignore it.  Yes, he’s an old school incumbent.  Indeed part of the status quo, quid pro quo, old boy network that is often an egregious component of the problem.  But I will tell you this, from far outside the beltway, but still from someone far more likely than you dear reader are able to know, Harry Reid will never ever be caught up in an ethics, money, sexual or any other kind of scandal simply because the man is honest and humble.  I know this to be true.

If they could have, trust me those dirty bastards would have by now.

I’ve been stuck in Carson City, against my will for far too long.  Soon to be free.  Yet it has afforded me a front row opportunity to this contest, one I observe to be of the most important in these mid-term elections, particularly for Nevadans.

When I first began to pay attention, Harry was in trouble.  An anti-incumbent tsunami was sweeping the land fueled by boiler plate Republican bullshit; casting blame for a disastrous economy on the Democrats who’d been in power, at least theoretically, for two years before Bush left office.  Whatever.  That’s another blog.  Early polls had Sue Lowden  ahead of Harry by double digits.  She was a force to be reckoned with, at least until she stuck a greasy foot in shit by suggesting that people actually barter with their physicians by bringing chickens to their offices in a lame attempt to refute the health care legislation Harry had so labored to pass.

Until then, Sharron Angle had pretty much escaped my attention.  My mother knows her too.  Said she was a very nice lady.  I pointed out she was a little bat shit and mother just reiterated that she was a pleasant woman.

I had written her off.

In a political heartbeat, the party faithful realized Lowden was an asshat and it was all over but the shouting.  The hard right, Tea Party financed, despicably Christian nut job, Sharron Angle emerged from the primary a victor.  The dark horse now the white.  It took a few days,  goofcock Michael Steele notwithstanding, the RNC had it’s “Oh Fuck” moment.  As in, “what have we done?”  As in, “This bitch is crazy, what do we do now?”  They are absolutely justified in their sentiment.  The woman fashions her chapeaus from tin foil because aluminium is probably too worldly and sophisticated.

She’s a mess:

On tape, video and/or audio and therefore on the record, she has called for the repeal of social security, medicare and medicaid.

She’s opposed to abortion under any circumstance, suggesting that an adolescent victim of incestuous rape make lemonade from the lemons life has dealt her because it’s God’s plan.

Her campaign ads focus laser like on unemployment despite stating that it would in no way be in her purview to create or advocate for jobs for Nevadans, her constituents, as a United States Senator.  When asked about the City Center development in Las Vegas, a city already suffering and near destitute from chronic and rampant job losses, she stated she would not have lifted a finger to help save 21,000 jobs.

Harry did.  And he saved those jobs.

She posited that unemployment benefits in Nevada (maximum $362.00 a week) pay too much money and are therefore a disincentive to seek honest employment.  She said that we have spoiled our citizenry.  Even in rural Nevada, if you have a family, $1600 a month is really dumb math.

She told Fox News about the press in general, “We wanted them to ask the questions we want to answer, so that they report the news the way we want it reported.”  What the fuck?  The first amendment appears to be inconvenient for Ms. Angle.  She continued by saying that she would like it if the press would allow her to plug her Web site and solicit donations on the air.  Who is this woman?  Methinks she’s operating under some serious misconceptions.

Earlier this year she said,  “And these programs that you mentioned — that Obama has going with Reid and Pelosi pushing them forward — are all entitlement programs built to make government our God,” Angle said in an April interview with TruNews Christian Radio. “And that’s really what’s happening in this country is a violation of the First Commandment. We have become a country entrenched in idolatry, and that idolatry is the dependency upon our government. We’re supposed to depend upon God for our protection and our provision and for our daily bread, not for our government.”

What?  She said that shit.

She’s a hardcore homophobe and would prevent gay couples from adopting and I don’t doubt attempt to wrest children from their gay adoptive parents.

She suggested that Americans exercise their 2nd amendment rights, as in take up arms, if they’re not satisfied with the outcome of the elections.  She didn’t reference fraud or anything, just that people use their guns if they don’t like the way it turns out.

Sheezus!!!

I have to tell you that I quite literally hate Sharron Angle, everything she stands for and anyone like her.

Where are we as a State of this Union, that such an astringently dogmatic and spectacularly frightening societal, populist heretic can be a legitimate contender for such an exclusive and important legislative body?  One could easily point to those that have come before her; Jesse Helms, Tom Delay, Rick Santorum, Michele Bachmann, Louie Gohmert, Sam Brownback, John “Agent Orange” Boener, Mitch McConnell……….the list is long and they are all prick bastards.

Sorry for getting all didactic.

I do have a point beyond this.

What often rankles me about some of the aforementioned is I’m that I’m reasonably sure they know what they’re doing.  They’re assholes, but at least they’re deliberate assholes.  They know exactly what they’re doing and they do it because they’re greedy power lusting fuckheads.  They are bad people.  That, has always pissed me off.

But Sharron Angle scares me.  This woman is an empty headed vacuous agent of ……evil?  What really unnerves me is how she delivers such abject nonsense with that ridiculous grin and those vacant, Stepford, Manson eyes.  Empty, illogical, hollow but sincere glee.  She has the conviction of the pious.  She believes what she says.  She believes the absolute sewage she spews.  She’s so goddamn wacky, pun intended, that whenever she opens her mouth, the entire GOP machine shutters and then scrambles and then stumbles.

There is comedy to be had here.  But it’s not pretty.

What I mean to say, is that although I’m an agnostic, she’s the closest thing to an Anti-Christ I’ve ever seen.  Trust me.  Let’s sit her down and ask her about the apocalypse.  I bet she can’t wait.  She’s nuts.

Harry Reid is among the most powerful men or women in America and thus the world.  This woman is poised, much like Sarah Palin was, to fill some very important shoes.  Such zealots have no place in contemporary politics.  Regardless the proximity to flame such creatures are somehow allowed to enjoy, they just don’t belong there.  There is zero possibility they can do any good at all.  Deleterious waves and ripples without a doubt.  Despite her convictions, Sharron Angle would occupy the office she seeks, instantly become one of a hundred as opposed to the Majority Leader, a face in the crowd……no power and no influence, and fuck it up completely by virtue of those very things she utters and so obviously believes.  She doesn’t understand that she’s a joke, but I do.  She’s absent any clue what the people want or need.  She has her own agenda.  She’s a fool.  Forgive her for she knows not what she does?  Fuck that.  I can’t help it if she doesn’t understand how dangerous and stupid she’ll be and I don’t care.

In, way over her head.  Not my problem and you shouldn’t make it yours.  Please don’t make it mine.  Please.

If Nevadans elect this crazy stupid broad.  They deserve her.  We’re in bad shape.  Highest unemployment and foreclosure rate in the country, I know.  It’s because we’re an economy entirely too dependent on tourism and yes, the Dick-in Bush administration was avaricious, clueless and really fucked up.  Wanna see how much worse it can get?  Put this callow inchoate, utterly clueless bitch in office.

We will have reaped what we’ve sown.  We will have it coming.

Republicans prove it over and over, when you try to fuck the future, the future fucks you.

Harry, I understand you are loathe to fight dirty, but you need to understand what happens to the rest of us if you lose.  You were a boxer.  Lace up dude, this is much bigger than you.

Drinks for my friends.

I walk back upstairs to my apartment.

I start to think about it and I’m brushing my teeth.

I put on jeans and a newer t-shirt.  Clean socks.  I’m not telling myself what I’m doing yet.  Going through the motions.  Cologne.  Deodorant.  Check my nostril hair.

Sipping at a Bombay martini.  A few hits off a hog leg.

What am I doing?

I sit for a minute.  Check my e-mail.

I’m baked and that always makes me shy.  Socially inept.  Out on my balcony I have a smoke and suck through the ice of the martini.  I check for my keys, wallet and business cards.  The default trifecta.

Before I know it it I’m trotting across the boulevard, with sweat on the back of my neck.  To my right the sushi joint is hopping and in front of me the jukebox swells and recedes with the opening and closing of the door.  The night is humid and the moon is yellow and fat.  She stands outside inhaling her cigarette.  I don’t think she sees me but she darts inside as I walk up.  It’s her skin and I nod to the smokers as I open the door and pass through a cloud of her musky flower and tobacco smoke.

It’s dark and loud.

I’m casual.  I don’t see her and I wonder what I’m doing here as I pretend like I need to use the bathroom.  I stand there pissing nothing with the smell of urinal cakes around my head.  I tell myself this is stupid.  I make up my mind to leave.  Out of the bathroom and into the syrup.  I decide to have a drink and abruptly feel like an idiot waiting for the bartender’s attention.  I don’t wave, that’s not my thing.  Eye contact is my thing.  It’s not happening.

From the corner of my eye, there is a slim hand waving and a finger gesturing.  I look to take it in.  Her lips part and she’s grinning, locking eyes with me.  Without a drink I approach.

“I see you changed out of the office.”, she says.

I tell her I would’ve anyway.

She looks past me behind the bar and here’s the bartender asking me what’s it gonna be.

Drinks for my friends.

A white bug just ended up between me and my keyboard. Upside down and kicking.

I loathe bugs.

I popped it in a tissue.

She swayed across the four lane blacktop from the bar to the 7-11 to buy cigarettes.

I watch this and wonder why there’s blood on my arm.  I’ve just come out and she’s the first thing I see after I straight arm the door and look up to see her despite how far away she is.  I hear her in her shoes.  Hips and nails and rhythm.  I pause to unwrap and light a smoke.  I throw the cellophane in the trash can of stone with an ashtray on top and put the fresh pack in my inside breast pocket.

Hoop earrings and a subtle but feline musky on approach.

I turn to go, thinking about her skin and her sway and her smell.

She swivels and looks right at me.  I don’t know what to do with this.

She says, “I came here for smokes but I don’t need a whole goddamn pack.”  Her head jerks a little at the end of her sentence.

I’m shy, I say something about only buying them by the shipping container.

She says, “Give me some cigarettes.”  She sticks out her lower lip.  She fucking says this and starts to goddamn pout.  She knows I stopped to check her out.

She wears some sort of straw hat with a huge yellow flower on it.  A flowery dress in contrast to her skin.

I’m wearing a coat and tie and start to dig inside my left for my new pack.  I feel like I look like William Shatner.  She smiles and leans an elbow on the ash tray/trash can between us.  She has freckles but barely. She folds her hands across her stomach and cocks her jaw just a little.  I’m leaning in her scent.

I try to smile as I clench teeth on my smoke and shake a few out of my pack.  I hold up three or four and she grins and winks and snatches them before I can blink.  The door jangles behind her as someone exits and she spins away asking me what I’m doing in front of a 7-11 on a Saturday night.

If I had an answer, I’d have to yell it.

I watch her dance back across the street to the bar.

I can’t figure out if she’s waiving me over or not.

Drinks for my friends.

Greed permeates everything.  It informs our day to day decisions, who we vote for, whether we know it or not, and even how we see ourselves.  It has infected our bathroom mirrors.  Greed is envy.  It is lust.  It is a cancer, insidious and consuming like the very worst drug ever.  Eventually, everything collapses under the weight of greed.  As a country, as a people, as a species, we’ve never been more threatened by greed than we are now.  Right now.  Yesterday, today and tomorrow.

Right now.

More and more and more the weight of greed defines us.  It is heavy on our society, our politics and our religion.  Our peace and our war.  Our self image and therefore self confidence.  Our peace of mind.  Although greed has pushed our faces inward with chronic narcissism, so many of us are fat and very ugly.  Yet we are implacable.  Inexorable.  Insatiable.  What matters is not what we do have, what we care about almost exclusively, is what we don’t have yet.

We are sick fucks.

We are not a Democracy.  We are not a Republic.  We are a plutocracy that flirts ,albeit disingenuously, with theocracy because they have money and power.  The defining characteristic of a plutocrat is of course, greed.  The religious zealots are power brokers because they are adept at whipping the stupid and afraid into a frenzy profound enough to compel them to vote against their bests interests and donate to those that would forsake them in a heartbeat for more money and power, as they inevitably do.  Over and over.

Christianity in America endeavors to make you ignore the theory of evolution.  Science keeps coming up with million year old skulls.  And clavicles.  Contemporary Christianity does not even want such an empirically fastidious discipline to be taught in our schools.  Instead, it implores you to view the existence of fossils and the carbon dating thereof as some sort of test of your faith.  It really wants you to believe some woman bit an apple a few thousand years ago and a serpent emerged and well, we may all be fucked because of it, unless we submit to bigotry, homophobia and narrow minded bullshit dogma.

Santa Claus for adults.

For what it’s worth, the greedy could not give less of a mad fuck about any of it.  They chuckle and sneer at the ease of manipulating the zealots while the zealots manipulate their own.  Because all of them are really fucking stupid.

Got off on a tangent there.  Let me brush the crumbs from my frilly liberal blouse.  Oops!  Looks like I spilled some champagne and caviar on it too.  Need to have the suspension checked on the limo.

Still, greed was the catalyst and now enjoys the momentum.  We serve at it’s pleasure and succumb to it without knowing it.  We are are consistently beseeched to rail against unfair taxation without bothering to realize that under the Obama administration, most of us are being asked for far less than we have been in nearly four decades.  And this same administration seeks to restore tax rates to the wealthiest two percent that were disastrously reduced on the notion that they would create jobs.  Guess what?  No jobs and another $trillion added to the deficit.

The pisser is the fight to restore tax rates to the richest, and maintain or even cut them further to the middle class and small businesses may already be lost.  Republicans are staking their campaigns on defeating it, despite the overwhelming empirical evidence that it will add $3 trillion to the deficit and without a doubt have a broad and devastatingly deleterious effect on the economy in general.

Yet they’ve successfully sold the lie that somehow such counterintuitive, “voodoo”, “trickle down”, economic policy will somehow benefit the average American.  That the administration seeks to only let the cuts on the wealthiest expire, and indeed to extend them to anyone and everyone making less than a $quarter million a year is another absolute fact that Republicans are actively, knowingly, lying about every day.  Just like “Death Panels” and the government “takeover” of the banks or the auto industry.  Keep the government out of my health care but don’t you dare touch my Medicare.  Lies,  Goddamn despicable lies and they know it.  Despite the glaringly irrefutable proof of the very recent past, wherein we were led through the gates of hell, to shake hands with he of the cloven hooves and bifurcated tail, and in exchange for our souls, we got fucked.

Greed.

People choose to believe it didn’t happen that way, because they really want just a little more money.

Good show.  Greed 1, Americans 0.

Why would they do such a thing?  Greed.  Not just for money.  Power.  Greed and power are no less incestuous and licentious than greed and money.  Greed begets them both and they return to suckle at the tit of it in a lascivious symbiotic spectacle.  A greasy orgy of lucre and lies.  Clicking and sucking and slurping and smelling of rotting fruit.

Every single thing Sarah Palin does is motivated by greed.  You don’t quit halfway through being governor of an American state, immediately release a book and go on an incredibly lucrative speaking tour unless your impetus is the filthy lucre.

Because of unmitigated greed, many of us believe that one of the richest corporations in the history of humankind has been demonized and unfairly persecuted for recklessly destroying an as yet untold amount of our environment, including ecologically irreplaceable wetlands, an entire regional economy and a historied way of life for generations.  The media has backed off.  America has shifted her attentions.  But if you think 60,000 barrels (2.6 million gallons) a day for over three months is just gonna disappear, you’re an idiot.  You think this whole clusterfuck is even close to resolved, you’re just dumb.  So surface oil slicks are hard to come by.  Dispersants just as toxic as the Texas Tea itself distributed in gallons by the million.  Do the math, that much oil went somewhere.

Decades, this pollution will rear it’s ugly head for decades.  Cancer rates will spike.  Entire populations of sea creatures will go extinct.  This gift will keep on giving because of reckless, unchecked greed.

This ain’t over because of, you know, greed.  We subsidize the industry you know.  Some $35 billion a year.  About the same amount Republicans refused to pony up week after week for the unemployed.  How sick is that?  We subsidize the richest business ever, every year for the same money that would allow our own victims of greed to eat.  Whenever the Democrats try to end that “entitlement”, the Republicans piss, moan and then filibuster.

It’s fucking ridiculous and they’re about to do it all again.

Illegal immigration exists and has become the problem it is because of greed.  If there were no demand, there would be no supply.  They persist in demonizing the undocumented worker, falsely inflating the crime statistics, which have been falling for a handful of years.  Portraying all of them as violent drug dealers.  Drugs are another ugly American story.  Fomenting the rhetoric that the dirty Mexicans are stealing our jobs.  Just this weekend Senator Jon Kyl lied about it all on national television.  Claiming that Phoenix was the kidnapping capital of the world second only to Mexico City.  McCain has lied about it over and over as does the Governor, Brewer and the sheriff of the only county where crime is up, Arpaio.  The aggregate is a HUGE filthy lie.  They want immigration reform because they want to control the borders.  Not to keep them from coming in but to keep the ones they have and be able to get more of the same kind.  What they really want is to better screen and control their pool of slave labor.

Greed.

Commercials and infomercials devoted to making me bigger and hornier and more of a stud.  Over a billion capsules sold.  With all due respect.  That’s greed merely because it’s bullshit.  How do they assume I need that?  Free lunches everywhere, lose fifty pounds without ever getting out of bed or off the toilet  I could literally make $70 grand next month in real estate if I just sign up for this seminar.  Them that buy in are just as guilty of greed because they’re looking for something for nothing with an even cruder zeal.

Greed prevents us from acting on global warming and therefore a chance to save our planet.

Greed keeps us from actually helping impoverished countries plagued with disease and famine because they have resources we covet and empowering them in any way would just make it harder to keep raping them.

Greed stood in the way of efficacious health care reform.

Greed stood in the way of meaningful financial reform.

Greed is why we are beholding to and and at the utter mercy of, big energy, big pharma, big corporations, the military industrial complex, banks, credit card companies and even our own government …….

Avarice is an evil lonely bitch, but not for lack of company.

Greed kills.

I think I’m done here.

Drinks for my friends.

My latest two part piece wherein I audaciously take it upon myself to sit in judgment long enough to bestow an actual letter grade of “D” on Barack Obama as President of The United States of America has manifested into far more than a simple fart in a whirlwind. I expected as much. What I didn’t really anticipate, despite both pieces being a rather harsh assessment of our President, is the indignity and vitriol from the right wing fucktards.

These people are dangerous idiots.  Dangerous in that they vote.

I mean, I’m pissing and moaning about him and his administration.

What follows are samples of their reactions from facebook and here at Brainspank.  I provide these to illustrate just how dumb, indoctrinated and demagogued these goofcocks actually are.  My father would describe them as not knowing their asses from a hole in the ground and I am compelled to concur.

For posterity and clarification, I submit that I do think Obama has accomplished one whole helluva a lot in the face of enormous and unprecedented partisan resistance and elaborately callow fuckery.  I made that very clear in part one.

600 Days….give or take

I took it upon myself to address the vital things that had languished, gone undone or had been ignored.  Stuff that really chapped my ass.  Those things, I detailed in part two.

600 days part deux

Read them again for fucks sake.

What I offer you in this third, sort of auxiliary installment, is proof of just how ridiculous so many motherfuckers can be.  Obtuse, missing the the point, unable to be germane or salient, cognizant or aware at all of what is on the goddamn table and being discussed overtly and with serious purpose.

From Facebook:

Wayne F. Hall

“This guy speaks like a true democrat….Love the professionalism. Now what would happen if this guy was on the right? You lefties would grill him like a fine piece of salmon. I mean really where do you guys dig these nut jobs up??”

“Michael did you write that??? I would hope not and expect a little more than that.”

ME

“Yes I did. Why?”

Wayne F. Hall

“How would you like it if the roles were reversed? There are no clean hands in either party and to portray the left as you have is preposterous. Case in Pointe Look who has had control of the house and senate for the last 6 years. We all know that the president is just a figure head ( well except George)and the house and senate can override his veto at anytime So with all the bull that has started in the last three years whom should we blame?”

ME

“Check your math, control of both houses for the last six years? Are you new or stupid?

And how have I portrayed the left? I mean, it was basically a hit piece on Obama.

Of course, hands are dirty everywhere you look. Hello? Ketchup little tomato. My point is this, and I stand behind it: Republicans don’t have an exclusive on the malaise of corruption but they are far more EVIL than Democrats.

Somebody went to great lengths the other day to point out the the crookedness of Charlie Rangel and B Rod etc….so I simply offered a list of war criminals (Cheney, Rumsfeld, Bush, Wolfowitz, Haliburton, Blackwater……) and a litany of war crimes (torture, wiretapping, profiteering…..).

Nut job huh?

You know, you “people” never consider or admit just what a shitstorm it would be if they weren’t in power. Typical right wing boiler plate bullshit. Unemployment IS bad. But it would be twice what it is now were it not for the current administration.

The greatest concentration of wealth in the history of human kind occurred under the Republicans. Ever. The Rich got richer and the poor got poorer. Exponentially. Empirically provable, easy to substantiate. An absolute, irrefutable fact.

When us “Lefties” endeavor to change that, we get labeled “socialists”. For merely attempting to battle what in all reality is “fascism”.

By the way, it is my habit and compulsion to deal in FACTS exclusively.

Now the Republicans want to extend tax cuts to the wealthy and increase taxes on the middle class. A policy that has already added a $trillion to the deficit and will add $3.5 trillion more. Oh, you fiscal hawks you.

Piss up a rope dude, your people are running on this specific policy and it is fucked up. Unexplainable. Unjustifiable. Stupid, wrongheaded, greedy and dangerous. From Mark Rubio, to John Boehner, they all want it but can’t seem to explain it.

You all so conveniently choose to forget that the most egregious bailout, the no strings attached one to the banks, was a a Bush job. Remember they called it TARP?

Had the Republicans stayed in control, the grip of corporate power by energy, big pharma, the military industrial complex etc. would now be twice as firm. Wake the fuck up. And if you have any sack at all, stop pissing on my flowers here and come to my blog and engage me.

Are you new or stupid?”

Wayne F. Hall

“Michael You are as gullible as the day is long For you to accuse me of being new or stupid shows your own lack of insight or education…Do you want to know how a democrat covers their Ass they pick apart what someone has to say OR they sta…rt with the name calling in either point you have already proved mine.
You say tomato I say…well that would lower me to you outlook. What is evil is to strip something form someone who has EARNED it to give it to someone who can “make more by staying home and collecting” or some ILLEGAL who is here for a hand out. You piss and moan about war criminals and that list of bullshit you produced. How about the crimes within being PROVEN every day? Oh but let me guess “that’s different” which is another classic democrat saying.
Your shitstorm is coming when Obama’s policies take hold in November. I hope that the Democratic Party DOES get in. HOW ARE WE GOING TO PAY FOR THIS MIKE? How about we put our asses 30 or 40 trillion more in debt. You are the one with lack of education. You physically tell me how the hell we can borrow ourselves out of debt with no possible way of paying it back. Did you also know that we only sold 20% of our bonds last year? I may be off a few percent but LOOK AT THE FACTS before you shoot off that fly trap located 1.5 inches below your nose. You also have no idea how to run a business either if I make more at my business I HIRE more people. Because I want to make more money. That’s the way things should be EARNED not handed out like your hard left nut jobs want to do. Even middle of the road Democrats are not impressed with a HARD LEFT stand point.
Your facts are tainted and one sided at best Mike.
Yes I remember the “Bush Bailouts” again WHO was in power in the house and senate. WHO could have overridden the bill? And WHO continued this dangerous and foolish practice? Oh and sorry for the miss print of time line I was sure you would have gotten the idea guess I was wrong on that.
I have a list of names for you but why do you really think it is going to going to prove a point. Get off the holier than though bandwagon you have SOME good points but have a FU**ed way of getting them across.
I’m in for the blog thing I think we both may have a lot to learn and gain Mike. Just don’t de friend or block when things get heated or I call you out on a dumba**ed comment …Like another hard leftie on here
FYI I think you might be interested where I stand in politics…..The hard right does not care for my comments either.
Either way game on and keep up the good work ……Seriously”

ME

“Your first paragraph makes little sense but you describe the tactic of name calling and I can’t think of a group more guilty of that than Republicans. And what’s wrong with picking apart what someone has to say if it’s bullshit?

You…’re second paragraph makes less sense, but I gather you’re opposed to illegal immigration. What makes you think I’m not?

You’re third paragraph makes even less sense. 30 or 40 trillion? What? What? My mouth is considerably less than 1.5 inches below my nose, I hope yours is too.

I’ve run various businesses, one went from less than $1 million a year to almost $10 million a year. I’m also a multi-platinum recording engineer/producer with a blog that has over a quarter million reads.

What facts are tainted? What are you talking about? Can you write a cogent sentence? How about a straightforward paragraph? And you impugn my level of education?

Are you new or are you stupid?

The next paragraph made a little more sense but is ridiculous. You want to blame congress for not overriding the Bush Policy? That’s like blaming the bystander for not inserting him or herself in a violent crime.

And “miss print of time line?. No, you were way off and wrong. Yet you seek to impugn my education and facts.

“holler than though”?
You think we both may have a lot to learn? I’m not feeling that.
You’re more than welcome to comment on my blog but I’ll tear you apart there just the same and in front of a lot more people.

I appreciate your tenacity but am nonplussed and remain unimpressed.

My advice to you is English 101″

********What follows is new as of today, July 30, 2010.***********************************************************************************************************************

Wayne F. Hall

“Do you want to make this an English lesson Mike or do you want to deal with facts I will break this down for you as it looks to me like you may be the “new or just stupid”
1 look at your post all it does is to start picking apart my post, y…ou started the game as such so if that’s how you want to play I’m in and as far as name calling the left is way better at mudslinging. What in your opinion is bullshit, may just be that. Or it may be something you can not argue with and resort to picking.
2 Unemployment = taxes= shipping jobs overseas. I think we may agree on this. The higher the taxes on the businesses the more profitable it is to move them. Democrats have a policy of tax and spend, even if they don’t have it. Push the burden onto the wealthy, well the wealthy are the one’s that do the employing, I have never worked for someone who has made the same or less than I do.
(a) And handouts why should we pay for illegals that’s a proven democrat stand point. Look at what they are doing in Arizona.
3 Current debts You stated and I quote” The greatest concentration of wealth in the history of human kind occurred under the Republicans.”
The poor did not get poorer. In fact what was the rate of unemployment then? What is it now? And don’t give me the because of Bushes tax cuts. To be precise here is the current amount of debt and time for you. The Outstanding Public Debt as of 30 Jul 2010 at 01:30:35 PM GMT is: 13,254,548,439,518.09…I love the .09 that’s pisser
(a) Check this out Mike
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/mind-my-money/201003/our-debt-what-has-government-borrowed-your-behalf
Argue with that. And the current administration wants to borrow more…How about we tighten our belts and revamp some of these “pork barrel” programs. I don’t give a shit who implemented them …Start with welfare.
4 I have one business here in N.H. I don’t have to blow smoke or toot my own horn if you want to know about it ask some of my customers or my employees. Or link to my W.H.Sports page
5 You never answered the question about “How we are going to borrow ourselves out of debt?”
6 Screw you and your English lesson I can write as I feel. If needed I can strap on my English studies and properly place all of my paragraphs and punctuation so you may be able to understand. And using proper amounts and times to better help you understand. I for one don’t need that on my page as I’m able to figure out what point a person is getting across.
7 You are kidding about the by stander comment right? I’m sure you are and I may have miss read that. But in case you were serious, tell me this. Why can they override the president if they won’t? You did realize that in some states it is a felony not to get involved if you see a crime taking place. Would I…Yes and I have.
8 you saying you can not learn from someone gives you the holier than though persona. I have learned a lot of valuable thing from all walks of life I truly believe there is something to learn from everyone. I will retract my statement about your education and apologize. I was pissed and to question your education was wrong I’m sorry for that. I would never respond like this on your blog out of respect…But you are welcome to tear apart anything I may post. I will try to behave and cool my temper. Let’s see if we can come up with a few answers instead of running our mouths. Being mouthy is easy. Solving problems and coming up with solutions is not.
9 BTW my English grade was A- and the room was 314″

ME

“I’m not interested in making this an English lesson but I do want and need for you to write more clearly and stop parroting boilerplate right wing crap. I mean previous to now, WHAT FACTS? You begin again by not making much sense. You lament that I’m picking what you say apart, but that is what debate is. Yes, I started the game, but you chose to engage me, you chose to play. If you don’t want to play, go home. I’m here to call you on your bullshit. That’s what this is about. That’s why I’m here. I must confess, you’re beginning to bore me and It won’t be long before you simply won’t be worth my time.

“Unemployment = taxes= shipping jobs overseas.”

Um, what? Whatever point you’re trying to make is clear to no one but yourself. This is the brand of nonsensical meandering I’m talking about. It isn’t high taxes on business that force jobs overseas, it’s cheap labor in other countries and bad trade policy on our part. I freely admit NAFTA is one of those policies and it was fomented and implemented by Clinton. One of his very few missteps but an egregious one. See? You demonstrate an inability to grasp the simplest of concepts. The whole dynamic is clearly lost on you.

If I understand what you so clumsily attempt to posit, you think taxes are the reason for outsourcing and unemployment and that’s just absurd. Just today the Republicans PREVENTED a bill containing tax cuts to small businesses and incentives for smaller banks to loan to small businesses from passing. 81% percent of all job losses during this recession occurred under small businesses. Republicans spent months preventing the passage of the extension of unemployment benefits, that also contained direct stimulus to small businesses etc. and only allowed it’s passage once those provisions were carved out.

Now Republicans want to extend tax cuts to the wealthiest 2%, something that’s ADDED a $trillion to the deficit thus far and at the same time, allow the tax cuts to the middle class to expire. There was a bill authored by Bernie Sanders to end $35 billion in tax cuts and subsidies to the most profitable industry in the history of human existence, big oil. Filibustered and defeated by Republicans. I would imagine you’re not even aware of these events and I guarantee you cannot justify or explain them. You’re in way over your head dude, even if you stand up, it won’t hit you. It won’t leave a mark.

“Democrats have a policy of tax and spend”

That’s actually complete bullshit. Every Republican administration for the last hundred years has increased debt and deficit far more than the Democratic administrations. Clinton even left a huge budget surplus after presiding over the longest and most significant period of economic prosperity in our history. You are guilty of parroting standard disingenuous GOP lies and it means that you are full of shit. You piss and moan about facts, disprove or even mitigate any of these or shut the hell up. No English lesson today but certainly I’ve taken you to school on economics.

“And handouts why should we pay for illegals that’s a proven democrat stand point.”

I never said that, in fact I dealt with that very thing in my last response to you. It’s clear your reading skills leave something to be desired. Again your grammar, punctuation and syntax are Fisher Price at best and you’re knowingly or unknowingly telling a LIE. That is not a Democratic “stand point” and you can’t prove in any way that it is. By the way, what’s a “stand point”? You write like a child, don’t blame me for not taking you seriously.

“The poor did not get poorer. In fact what was the rate of unemployment then? “

When Bush left office we were hemorrhaging 750,000 jobs a month. We now are now posting net gains, as in no more losses, but jobs actually added, albeit at a rather anemic pace. And families living beneath beneath a ridiculously low poverty standard increased over 27% under Bush. The severe poor grew at an alarming rate of 56% faster than any other segment of our population. Over 37 million living in poverty under Bush. Over 10% of our entire population. Under Bush the wealthiest 10% percent came to own half of everything, as in all income. The very top 0.01% percent actually came to own over 6% of everything under Bush. More than anytime since records have been kept. You my friend, are completely full of shit.

Welfare or for that matter, social security, medicare and medicaid are not “pork barrel programs”. You’ve just proven that you’re not remotely aware of the definition of that term.

Are you new or are you stupid?

I could go on, but I just don’t see the point. This is for me, an exercise in futility. You don’t know what you’re talking about. You don’t understand what you’re merely just repeating, and I’m confident most of the FACTS I’m feeding you are beyond your ability to digest. I’m done here. I need for you to understand that you’re wasting my time but you’re also wasting your own.

Feel free to comment here or on my blog, I never censor anyone, just don’t expect me to engage you unless you have something cogent or germane to offer. Go home. It’s no fun to knock a man down over and over when he doesn’t have the sense to stop getting up.

You’re forcing me to punch the clown; the euphemism is apt. I’m doing no more than whacking off here. You’re so damn obtuse, you don’t even know when you’re beat and that you have no idea what you’re talking about. Only an idiot can think another idiot is a genius. If you don’t like me calling you names, tough shit. You bring it on yourself. Go home.”

Honestly, I’m not sure why I bother, except perhaps to expose the abject idiocy and willful ignorance of these jackasses.  I guess that really is my reason for bringing it here; more eyes and minds get to experience it.  I must be naive, because people like this leave me awestruck.

Here’s one from from right here on Brainspank.

AhahahahaLibtard!

“Me thinks you sound a bit like that dude Rachel Maddow.

GROW some balls and support your country. Vote Republican.

What a bunch of liberal corny BS.”

ME

““Me thinks you sound a bit like that dude Rachel Maddow.”, huh?

Methinks you just revealed yourself to be another jingoistic asstardian bigot. Grow some balls? You’d have to cut mine off to vote Republican, I have the courage of my convictions, you are afraid of mere lesbians. I’m going to offer you the same thing I do all of your ilk, show me where she has been less than truthful, prove a lie she has told. Just one, and I will give you fifty uttered by the Fox News info-tainment personality of your choice.

Fifty to one asshole. Now Man up.

For what it’s worth kids, one of two things is about to happen. This cowardly douchebag will come back with a ridiculous substanceless stream of angry god fearing invective or we’ll never hear from his retarded ass again.

Yeah, buddy, you vote Republican again. You’re taxes will go up and the wealthy will see their taxes continue to be low and we’ll be far more fucked than we are now. Their proposals will add over three trillion dollars to the deficit. This is how I know you’re stupid because that’s exactly what you’re gonna do. Vote against your very own interests and then blame the liberals because you’re teeth are falling out of your odd pointed fucking head.

Now bring it or shut the fuck up.”

AhahahahaLibtard!

“And if you wanna talk corruption… Blago, Rangel, Bill, Hillary etc etc And they do it in the most arrogant fashion.

I will NEVER vote Democratic again. Pity you kids can’t attend a school without falling for the leftist indoctrination hook line and sinker.

Parrots.”

ME

“And if you wanna talk WAR CRIMES, Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Wolfowitz, Rice, Haliburton, KBR Blackwater…………..

Wake the fuck up, they’re all corrupt, but not all of them are evil.

Pity you kids can’t even watch television without buying the bullshit right wing demagoguery.”

And that is, of course, the last I heard from this moron.  Seriously, my kingdom for an honest and informed opinion that is counter to mine but not originating from anyone with anything other than a normal shaped head.  These examples really are illustrative of my experience with the right wing, conservative, Republican and/or teabaggers out there.  Are they all this simple, uninformed and misguided?  I have yet to find a reason to even suspect otherwise.

Drinks for my friends.

Looks like my letter grade of “D” really pissed a lot of you people off. That’s a good thing. I expected as much.

For starters, let me just remind you all that blind faith, marching lockstep, fanaticism, willfully ignorant zealotry and demagoguery are salient ingredients for a stew of poisonous broth, corrupted vegetables and rotting meat. The wine will turn out to be vinegar. The water, tepid and bitter. It is what Republicans have been cooking and serving for decades. No wonder they’re all bug eyed, pasty, jowly, slow eyed plutocrats; narcotised by an astringent, relentless dogma of defying truth and flouting compassion.

Democrats in general and progressives in particular do not run their kitchens in such a way. Some of us are moderate, some of are progressive and some of us are even downright conservative (often to my dismay). It is both the beauty and often the bane of our party. But we Democrats have the courage of our convictions.  We really are about truth, justice and the American way.  We like prosperity for the middle class. Unlike the other side, that will lie, conceal and obfuscate to regain power and once they have it, to keep it, without regard for the circumstances or who may suffer.

I do support Mr. Obama, unlike the prodigious quantity of jerk offs that salivate at the idea of America failing to increase their chances of re-election, I want, hope and sincerely wish for him to succeed. I have not lost my belief in him. He is not even four years older than me and that just confounds me. It really is the most difficult job in the world and he cuts through it like a curtain in the wind. I’ve yet to see him rattled. I am proud and happy that he’s my president. Like I said before, we’d have been fucked from hell to breakfast and screwed nine ways to Sunday about now were he not our Commander in Chief.

But, I’m a Democrat. I’m a progressive Democrat. We don’t think twice about criticizing our elected leaders and we are rarely ostracized enough to regret it. The black hats are forbidden such redress. Such trespass. We are encouraged and expected to engage in as much, at least.  It is expected of us.  Or so I’ve been told, by my mother of all people.

So all of you that would pile on, or engage in any attempt to shame or prevent me from saying what I am here to say, can piss up a rope, smoke a pole or otherwise play Tiddlywinks with manhole covers. It’s subjective. It’s my opinion. And I am compelled.

Here is what chaps my ass:

First of all, and there is plenty, I hate, hate, hate that Dick-in-Bush, Rumsfeld, Wolfowitz and cronies et. al, won’t be held accountable for the egregious war crimes they so obviously and blatantly committed. Torture, profiteering, wiretapping, overt fraud by the private contractors acting on behalf of the military industrial complex……. all in the name of terrorism.  Crimes against humanity.  Dirty business.  Inexcusable.  Awful things for which they will not pay.  Disgusting.

Terrorism.

A concept, an idea, that has proven to be no more than a paper tiger. Underwear and shoe bombers. Give me a break. They tell us that most of the 9/11 attackers were Saudi Arabian( 16 of 19), did we attack Saudi Arabia? It’s another story and another blog but it’s all crap. Bullshit on a scale you don’t want to know. Something we have waged war over and killed hundreds of thousands if not millions for.  Thousands of our own dead and tens of thousands permanently broken.  All of it, all of it is a lie. We’ll get to the stupid fucking war part. But the rest remains. Crimes on an international scale, horrible things done in the name of national security that should never, ever have passed beyond the purview of our own Constitution much less the Geneva Conventions. Posse Comitatus and Habeas Corpus out the window……….

What the fuck is that?

Here’s the sick part. The part where the goddamn rubber hits the motherfucking road. It’s all still happening, all of it. We still torture, we still “rendition”, we still spy illegally on our very own people and Gitmo is still open for business.  There are as many private security contractors, at least, in Iraq and Afghanistan as there are enlisted men and women and you and are paying for both while they can and do kill anyone and everyone they want.  Over five hundred different private armies. We still award contracts to Blackwater, albeit under a different name.  KBR and Halliburton……..

Absolute nonsense.

Why?

For what?

My President, Our Man, has not lifted a finger to change or stay or mitigate any of it. The Patriot Act, fucking joke unconstitutional legislation that it was, is still, for all intents and purposes, fully intact.

Why Mr. President?

Speaking of prosecution, The Obama administration will not be prosecuting a single player involved in the contrivance masterminded by Karl Rove that ended up in nine state attorney generals being fired for not pursuing totally bogus assertions of voter fraud.  Nice.  Cowardly.

Are you hearing me?

A “D”.

See, these are historical things that will suffer from historical context. Important things. Beyond deficits and debts. Realistically, and I’m sorry, far more consequential than soaring unemployment and a tanking economy, because these things, these issues, don’t just threaten our livelihoods, these things threaten our lives. See?  And it’s these things that will ruin our posterity as well as our ability to even create, seek or gain employment because we simply cannot pay for them.  We are not paying for them.

Deficits and debt don’t matter when it comes to the military industrial complex.

How do you like me now?

Well, I’ve got more. Still wondering about that letter grade of “D”?

Come with me, I’ll take you a little further.

Afghanistan.  We visited this war on these people over a single man and a hand full of other assholes a decade ago.  Nothing has changed.  Nothing.  Even if bin Laden is dead, he’s alive.  We don’t even know.  Al-Qaeda is still a shadow and in some circles rumored to barely exist at all and the Taliban is more robust than ever.  Thank Dick-in-Bush for that.  Now we are nation building so that they don’t send more underwear or shoe bombers, I guess.  Fucking ridiculous.  The tail wags the dog and the military industrial complex is in leg humping lust with it.  Fuck this shit.  We kill and die everyday for no sane reason.  It’s beyond stupid and for a commander in chief to countenance it, much less agree to escalate it, is an absolute betrayal on levels of morality, humanity and common sense.

This really is the heart of my “D”.

The stinging reality that our people are falling into poverty.  Not enough work.  I’m talking about the asshole Republicans failing us by threatening to filibuster the extension of unemployment benefits four goddamn times.  People in this country are literally starving and we refuse to help them but there is always money for this kind of wrongheaded imperialism that is absolutely doomed to fail.  This policy has never, ever worked,  Obstinate Republicans won’t vote to extend unemployment so that innocent children can be fed based on the notion that it would contribute to the deficit, but both they and dipshit Democrats never ever ever fail to pass a supplemental war spending bill.  Unpaid for.  Through the lips and straight to the hips……of the goddamn deficit, on the order of ten times as much.  Not only are we accomplishing nothing but we are making matters worse.  It’s the stupidest goddamn thing I’ve ever seen.  A ballet of illogical at $10 billion a fucking month.

Mr. Obama has not said a word but to throw more money and lives at it.

Breathtakingly despicable.

See, this is where he gets his “D”.  It would be an “F” but Dumbya blew the curve.

There are all sorts of lesser but still vitally important issues.

Don’t Ask Don’t Tell.  Give me a break.  The administration is waiting for an implementation study to be completed in November?  There’s some sort of survey going on in the meantime?  Did we conduct studies or surveys when we integrated blacks or women?  Nope.  You know why?  Because it was the right thing to do.  This is chickenshit.

See the “D”?

Why Mr. President?

When we hear the clean up workers in the gulf are getting sick and need respirators but BP won’t provide them or that they are being housed in formaldehyde contaminated trailers……..well?  Fuck off, put your boot back on that neck and make it fucking happen, not now, yesterday!  Two words “Executive Order”, look into it.

Our mutual ass licking contest with Israel is profoundly ridiculous.  We give more money to them than every other nation on earth combined, and for what?  So they can run their own Semitic version of apartheid?  Hey Barack, Netanyahu has your number and is playing you for a chump and it’s embarrassing.  They kill and rape and steal and oppress with our dime.  We fund them.  It’s our money.

Why?

See the “D”?

Health care was a start but a mandate without a public option?  Is there a punchline?  Call me nonplussed.  I honestly haven’t researched financial reform but I hear it’s pretty much the same deal and I’m confident that what I find won’t surprise me.  I guarantee I won’t be impressed.

Smell the “D”?

I do.

Is this change?  Nope.  It is merely the same game being played less clumsy, just a little less recklessly, with just a little more political adeptness.  Meet the new boss, same as the old boss.

Feel my “D”?

Here is where it also lands for me.  I am frustrated and dismayed by Obama’s reluctance to engage anyone and everyone that would smear him personally or progressives in general based on race as well as those that would, and do, strong arm  this country in pursuit of the filthy lucre.  Money they don’t deserve.  They are liars and thieves and Mr. Obama postures as though they barely exist.  Liars and thieves.

I hate a liar and/or a thief.  Hate.

Herein lies my “D”.

For example:

Shirley Sherrod.  Van Jones or ACORN.

I’m not going to detail the the gory, if you’re aware and attentive, you already know.

Shame on you Mr. President for allowing this to unfold and gain the traction that it has and then allowing such knee jerking so recklessly and so irresponsibly.  You and your administration ran from the liars and thieves.  Callow.  A party foul.  Stupid.  Amateur hour.   A woman who’s father had been murdered by white supremacists.

Why again, Mr. President?

So, it is indeed a “D”.

I would be remiss for not undertaking the following:

To Andrew Breitbart, Fox News, patrons and purveyors thereof, and anyone and everyone else of similar ilk, FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU IN THE NECK.  You racist, lying, porcine, soulless, motherfucking hypocrites.  The word “nigger” applies more to you than it does to any other ethnicity in the world because you have consciously chosen who and what you are.  You suffer from a low level, intellectually bereft cranial priapism that allows you to somehow justify such overt bigotry.  FUCK ALL OF YOU.

Drinks for my friends.

This one is not so easy as the last one.

I like the man.

My hope was audacious.

I am somewhat loathe to undertake it.  It is an admission that I was wrong to a degree, one that I’m not entirely comfortable with.

A confrontation with my own naivete’.

A collision with my expectations.

When he first emerged as a candidate, I didn’t imagine a half black man with the name Barack Hussein Obama would have a chance against the likes of Hillary Clinton.  If able to clear that formidable hurdle, I couldn’t imagine him actually winning the majority of hearts and minds in this country.  I said as much both out loud and in my writings.  Yet he did.  And it was a miracle of sorts.

As luck would have it, he ended up against a pair of absolute clowns via McCain and Palin.  Clowns, as in circus, as in bit players to amuse and distract.  Had they gained the upper hand, we’d be fucked nine ways to Sunday and from hell to breakfast as of today.  I don’t doubt that.

Well before he was elected and inaugurated, I understood what he was up against, not just the vast numbers of the great unwashed, the closeted bigots and fearful ignorants, but the cynical and the skeptical like me.  Don’t get me wrong, I liked him, I was impressed, ever since that fiery speech at the ’04 convention and every move he’d made since then.

I must tell you that my first choice was Kucinich, whom I still adore, so I was rather obviously primed for disappointment.  And rather more clearly, an idealist.  Pin that red letter “I” on my chest before I get on the bus.

Well, I was wrong, and happy to be so.  With soaring populist rhetoric delivered in a euphonious cadence America had not heard since JFK or the greatest of civil rights icons like MLK, with common sense policy proclamations, charismatic compassion as well as  a natural political prowess not seen since Big Bad Bill, he prevailed.  And I wept.  I did, my girlfriend and I both.  We were so happy and overcome with optimism.  My mother and I cried on the phone.  After what we’d been through under Dick-in-Bush, I was in awe of the potential, the good fortune for me and my country.

I understood it wouldn’t be easy.  I knew it.  This was to be a new and unusual rodeo.  I was aware the change he embraced and espoused would be hard to come by.  The seed of his hope and change would have difficulty finding a moist and accommodating place to find purchase.  I fully anticipated enormous obstructionism and indeed, black hearted racism and soulless hate.

By the way, Cheney’s latest procedure leaves him without a pulse.  No pulse; I shit you not.

I am dumbstruck by the severity of it however.  Profoundly disturbed by an America uglier than I ever supposed.  A political system so broken, polarized and divided, that virtually nothing in the best interest of the people can be accomplished.  An alchemy of hatred and fear fomented by conservatives and Republicans so vicious, resentful and deliberately stupid, that we now have a movement that would so brazenly and recklessly call itself the Tea Party.  After the initial retardation of dubbing themselves “Teabaggers”,  with all the attendant oblique connotations.  A rise to prominence by cartoon goofcocks like Glenn Beck, Mark Levin, Michele Bachmann, John “agent Orange” Boehner, Sarah Palin and Sharron Angle.  A resurgence in popularity of consummate assholes Like Rush “The Human Shitsmear” Limbaugh, Sean Hannity and Bill O’Reilly, as well as the entire roster of Fox News personalities.

There is no intellectual honesty in what they do.  They are simply and merely contrary.  If it’s black, they tell their minions it’s white.  If it’s right and decent and just, they tell them it’s wrong and evil and socialist or communist.  The plug will be pulled on grandma.  They will tax you until you can’t afford to eat or people that can’t find a job because there aren’t any, are actually just lazy no good Democrats.  That it’s wrong for BP to be held accountable for destroying livelihoods, lives and wildlife on a scale that you have not even begun to imagine.  Tax cuts for the rich that have already cost a trillion dollars and will cost trillions more are good for the vanishing middle class, but they can’t seem to justify extending unemployment benefits at less than one percent of that cost ……..no reason, no logic, no justification, just blatant obfuscation.

Man, I hate these guys.

And all of it is provably wrong.  Everything they say is a lie.  Talk about audacity.

So yes, it’s heavy.  Quite the mountain to shoulder a boulder up.  More than I saw coming.

Worse than I thought it would be.

Still, it is with some reluctance and perturbation, despite the aforementioned, that I feel compelled to give our President the letter grade of ‘D’.  I do mean that as sixty some percent.  I do mean that as close to failing.  I don’t base it entirely on his accomplishments or the lack thereof.  I do mean it as my overview of his performance.  I am disappointed.  Disillusioned.  Disaffected and dismayed.

Should you require context for that grade, I would offer you my equally subjective grade for George W. “Dumbya” Bush:  He get’s an ‘F’/Incomplete, if for the very least his spending nearly a third of his presidency, nearly a thousand days,  on vacation, clearing brush and waxing his carrot.  Even after the worst attack on American soil in our history.

But yes, Obama gets a ‘D”, and I will tell you why.

To be continued.

Drinks for my friends.

This is another one of those easy ones.  It feels cheap because it’s it’s so goddamn obvious.  Still, I’m happy to run with it because Rush Hudson Limbaugh is easily the biggest asshole ever to grace American media.

I have referred to him affectionately as “The Human Shitsmear” for years.  Picture the amber stain in your white Calvins or if you go commando, that faint greasy brown swath up the back  of your jeans that inspires you to turn them inside out before laundering them.  Rush Limbaugh.  Human Shitsmear.  He lies, without shame, without conscience and without ever being held accountable.  He lies.

Lying and the art thereof, falls under the purview of morality, as opposed to the ethical, as it does and should when done under oath.  Much to my chagrin, I have trouble recognizing a distinction.  It’s only a bad thing when you lie after promising not to?  Anyway, Rush Hudson Limbaugh is a world champion fabulist.

I listen to him.  I honestly do.  This Sunday morning, the local station recaps his blunderbuss of bullshit for the weekends, I heard him say that 43% of the stimulus has been spent and the democratic party will be using the rest of the money for their re-election campaigns in the fall.  He actually said that.  I heard him say it.

That’s complete crap and he knows it.

He lies.

I have plenty to say about the Human Shitsmear.

I love the audacity of his branding himself “The EIB, (Excellence In Broadcasting) network.  Him and his gold plated EV RE20 microphone.  He is exceptionally adept at what he does.  He has talent.  Nevermind that his talent is wasted on the hopelessly stupid.  As an ad libber he is unparalleled.  Extraordinaire.  He makes it up as he goes with such conviction that the dumb, slack jawed, great unwashed can’t help but believe him.  He lies.  He said that Obama had not met with the head of BP, Tony Hayward because Hayward was white.  I heard him say that too.  He’s a pompous, sociopathic fathead that stops just short of buying his own pant load of poisonous, odoriferous, runny Hormel excrete…(my apologies to Hormel).

The bile he spews everyday is racist, bigoted, chauvinist, homophobic, hypocritical, self aggrandizing flatulence.  He cloaks himself in jingoism.  He wraps himself in an American flag so moth eaten and full of holes, it would be unrecognizable to any thinking, aware, compassionate human being.  He has repeatedly maligned celebrities for succumbing to addiction when he himself cultivated such an advanced enslavement to OxyContin that he nearly lost his hearing and recruited his own household help to acquire it.  He pimped his servants for the purpose of acquiring drugs.  He pimped his doctors.

“Kurt Cobain was, ladies and gentlemen, a worthless shred of human debris.”

“Columbus saved the Indians from themselves.”

To a black caller: “Take that bone out of your nose and call me back.”

“He is exaggerating the effects of the disease. He’s moving all around and shaking and it’s purely an act… This is really shameless of Michael J. Fox. Either he didn’t take his medication or he’s acting.”

-bspcn.com

I call him The Human Shitsmear.  Beause he Lies.

He’s been doing it for decades:  http://www.fair.org/index.php?page=1895

Or check out “Rush Limbaugh Is A Big Fat Idiot” by the lovely Al Franken.

Morally and ethically bereft.

See, his core message is that Obama’s agenda is to destroy America.  Whether it’s retribution for slavery or because he’s some nightmare Muslim, communist, terrorist.  Whatever sticks, it doesn’t matter.  Now I disagree with my President on a myriad of things but I do believe he’s one earnest man.  He does his best.  And Rush Hudson, “The Human Shitsmear” Limbaugh, is a goddamn dirty lying bastard.  Obama is not on this earth to destroy this country.  That’s a fucking lie and and this fat irresponsible prick knows it.

See, what really chaps my ass is that I somehow own that he knows exactly what he’s doing.  Fooling some of the people all of the time.  Disgusting.

If you listen to this guy and you believe a single word he says, you’re an idiot.  A lost cause.  I’m not talking to you and I’m not writing this for your benefit.  You are proof of the 1/4 paradigm.  Common sense and logic are lost on you.  The 1/4 paradigm are those that still supported Nixon after he was forced to resign.   The 25% percent who still believed in the idiot Dumbya when he left office and the rest of us in a shitstorm.  You people are incurably stupid.  You still think Jesus Christ will be here to save you personally before you die.  I’m not talking to you.  As far as I’m concerned, you people are worthless human stains who’s only potential contribution to anything at all would be polluting the gene pool.

And you do.  You reproduce without thought and it really worries me.  A whole ‘nother round headed generation of thick tongued, uneducated, bible thumping backward ass morons.

This is all been great fun.  I’d debate the slow eyed prick bastard any day of the week.  Seriously, at a moments notice I’d take him on, and if were allowed to talk, I’d destroy him.  I would wipe the airwaves with him and I’m by no means an exception.  Just about any one of the 95% percent of Americans that don’t listen to him could acquit themselves quite nicely if given the opportunity.  We all know that’s not going to happen; callers with an opposing point of view on the “EIB” network are about as common as OxyContin addicts in the mesozoic era.

But the point is this.  He’s dangerous.  Because of him and egregious assholes of his ilk, we have a bunch of mouth breathing idiots walking around calling themselves the Tea Party.  We have Sharron Angle and Rand Paul and a growing number of oxygen starved brains that are willing to resort to violence because of an ideology that they haven’t the capacity to even grasp.  Forgive them for they know not what they do?  Fuck that!  These fuckers are retarded and the Human Shitsmear makes a living by exploiting and emboldening them.

Here’s the deal and the devil at the same time.  He wins because the rest of us pay too much attention.  The most logical course of action with a stalker or any brand of sociopath, is to ignore.  Any attention afforded only fuels the fire.  I love Olbermann and Ed Schultz et al. but, Rush Limbaugh is a fuckhead and so are the people who follow him.  Write those goofcocks off.  No way any hearts or minds or going to be changed there.  They are the mentally handicapped.  Unable or unwilling to think for themselves and all too inclined to let a semi clever reptile do what they honor as the intellectual heavy lifting.  They will listen and follow and worship, no matter what.

Let him have his little universe.  What would America be like with a blackout of all things Shitsmear?  Think about it.  A much better place.  Fuck this piece of shit.  Shut him down and shut him out.  Pay no attention.  Keep moving.  Nothing to see here.

Crackheads will be crackheads and will sooner or later overdose on crack and there is not a thing we can do about it.

His particular genius is that he baits us.  Again and again, He offends and appalls the rational and the aware.  He lies.  He commands our attention by virtue of sheer outrageousness.  The oldest and most despicable trick in the book. So, understand that without that, he is exclusive to the margin. Consigned to them.  The dipshits.  The asstards.  The Hannity’s, Becks, Coulters and Levins.  They are substantial in number but they are the fringe.

They are not America.

They are all, fucking liars.

Only through the outrage they generate, do they matter at all.  The lies they tell, stir the cognizant far more than the great unwashed.  Remember that.

I will never ever, mention the human Shitsmear again.

Drinks for my friends.

p.s.

If you enjoyed this blog, I really recommend you read the comments, not the ones where folks agree with me, I love and appreciate them but that would be boring.  As of this writing, the last comment is a transcript of me spanking the brain of some moron on facebook that is the quintessential example of the “1/4 Paradigm” that I reference in so many of my blogs including this one.  It’s really a lot of fun.  I hope you check it out.

Yesterday Barney Frank and Ron Paul of all people joined forces to call for a reduction in defense spending.  They actually co-authored an op ed.  Cats and dogs applied for, and were granted, marriage licenses , and some were gay!  I danced naked with my uncle with a pickle in my mouth.  Even though  that prolific moron Michael Steele stuck his dick up his nose by calling Afghanistan Obama’s war of choice, Pat Buchanan opined that it was the Republicans that foolishly got us into Iraq and sort of wondered out loud at the legitimacy of the war in Afghanistan.  Are these douchebags (Frank excepted) reading my blog?

If you read my last one, you understand how this plays directly into my hands.

If the Republicans do manage to wrest control of Congress, they are so fractured, they’ll make asses of one another.  They will become parodies of themselves and their shrill accusations for a lack of leadership hurled at the current administration.  Honestly, the Republicans that aren’t arrogant insensitive neoconservative dicks like McCain, Boehner and McConnell, are embarrassing dunces like Steele,  Bachman, Cantor and Palin……or worse they’re full blown whack job Tea Baggers like Angle, Beck, Hannity, Armey…….all at one point pissing on one another or in each others ear about each other and then shape shifting from dunce, to dick, to whack job with a prolific inconsistency.  The Keystone cops want to lead.  Remember when the Democratic party was the poster child for an absence of unity?

But I digress.

It’s the first time I’ve heard actual elected members of Congress give voice to what I’ve been screaming, replete with spittle and snot, for years.  To paraphrase: We’re fucked, We’re broke and we should look at what we spend the most money on first, to actually cut.  War.  The Pentagon.  The military industrial complex.  As opposed to say, education, health care, homeless veterans et al.  Ron Paul has been saying it persistently for some time and I give him credit.  Otherwise I think he’s puts on a tin hat the second he walks in the door at home.  If not smarter, he’s measurably more savvy than his his round headed kid, Rand, who is a racist fuckhead.  I do wish I owned an eatery in his home state of Kentucky (of course).  Were he to darken my door, I’d happily explain to him that we don’t serve his ignorant kind.

Barney Frank However, we loves us some Barney Frank.

At a health care town hall in Dartmouth, MA, a woman asked, “Why are you supporting this nazi policy?” Frank responded with a question asking,”On what planet do you spend most of your time?” -the huffingtonpost.com

“As you stand there with a picture of the president defaced to look like Hitler, and compare the effort to increase health care to the Nazis, it is a tribute to the First Amendment that this kind of vile, contemptible nonsense is so freely propagated. Trying to have a conversation with you would be as interesting as trying to argue with a dining room table. I have no interest in doing it.” -Barney Frank courtesy of CommonDreams.org

Now that’s my kind of openly Gay Jew member of our House of Representatives.

But I digress.

Our defense budget for this year is some $693 Billion. Next year it will be over $708 billion.  I guarantee that’s not even close to all there is.  Let’s just say a trillion plus.  It is more than the entire rest of the world combined.  Yes, more than the entire rest of the world combined.  As of 2005, we maintain a conservative estimate of over 732 military bases in other countries.  That number is more likely over a thousand.  Two words:  Empire.  Imperialism.  We still have 15,000 marines based in Okinawa.  For what?  That war was over 65 years ago.  I should remind you that nuclear powered aircraft carriers have fuck all to do with mitigating terrorism.  America’s prosperity or demise will never ever be determined by the sheer size of our armed forces.  Such a notion is obsolete, archaic and profoundly absurd.

See, America is still filthy rich.  Filthy.  Rich.

I’m not here to suggest we shave 10 or 15 percent off the military budget.  No, that would be insane.  Crazy. What I sincerely posit is that we cut it in half.  HALF.  Half of it is at best redundant and truthfully, quite probably useless in the context of any contemporary modern day conflict.  Worried about the suddenly out of work soldier?  Put him or her to work on infrastructure.  Trust me, they’ll be much happier and far more productive repairing bridges than being shot at for no fucking reason.  I don’t doubt we could pay them better.

Why this cow has been so traditionally sacred, makes no sense at all to me.  Well, it does actually, because giant vaginas like Cheney, KBR, Halliburton and the afore named Blackwater are getting stinking rich.  So yeah, it makes sense, but it sure as fuck isn’t in your best interest or mine.  Ever wonder why all those other countries are able to afford superior health care at no cost to their citizenry?  Why they’re able to kick our ass in education?  It’s because they don’t spend over half their people’s money on this kind of bullshit.  They don’t take it upon themselves to intervene in everyone else’s affairs only to make matters worse or have it blow up in their faces………

Deficit hysteria and national security are not mutually exclusive paradigms.  They are indeed two facets of the same concern.  This is easy.  It’s simple.

You want a revolution?  It’s not about some dipshit Tea Party movement.  It is fiscal and it should start here.  right here.

Drinks for my friends.

We liberals get a little hinky over Saddam you understand.

Yeah, he was a despicable, evil tyrant and really did deserve to taste his own blood prior to his mortal coil being yanked.  Yep, all of the above.   But he didn’t have fuck all to do with 911 so how did he become our problem?  Our responsibility?

Fine.  We drug him out of a hole and let his own people hang him.  All on television. Bonus.  I guess.  We had better reason to do that than break the entire goddamn country and now the entire sonafabitching region.  See, we liberals understand that it did not a single human being anywhere, any good at all.  None.  What happened, because of what we did, was way worse than if we’d done nothing whatsoever.  Hussein lacked the brute,  efficient capacity to kill as and ruin as many innocent, civilian Iraqis as we came to kill and ruin.  Millions of them.  The United States of America, in your name and mine, made Saddam Hussein look positively Fisher Price for no reason at all.

How come we did that?

It was in fact, deliberate, with hubris, stupidity and greed, as it’s impetus.  What I mean is, that it was precipitated by arrogant, greedy bastards with no concern whatsoever for the inevitable consequences.  Obvious consequences.  Dumbya’s daddy wrote in his own memoir what a mistake it would be and why.  Darth fucking Cheney spoke publicly about why we shouldn’t and what would happen if we did.  And it all came to pass.  All of it and worse, although the entrance was grand.  You remember, “Shock And Awe”?  How ninth grade was that?

I’m an agnostic, but I’d stick a red hot spit up Cheney’s ass and roast the dirty prick for all eternity if I could. Dumbsfeld too.  As far as Dumbya, well, you can’t fix stupid.

And now, nine years after the fact, and still in Afghanistan, having traded Generals but not policies, our definition of success is the same nebulous bullshit proffered in Iraq.  There is no analogue for success or victory.  The “We’ll stand down when they’re able to stand up” doctrine.   The most powerful military in the world fighting an enemy that doesn’t have tanks, planes, ships or even an army.  We are not fighting for our nation’s survival. We can leave, literally, anytime we want.

So why don’t we?

Why are we there?  Killing and being killed?  Why?

Silly, if it weren’t so achingly tragic.  Certainly no comedy for those who would dwell exclusively among numbers and projections.  An unmitigated horror for those of us in possession of both heart and mind.

Why?  Why are we there?  Someone please enlighten me.  We have thus far done nothing but make everything worse.  By almost every account, there is barely any Al Qaeda presence at all in Afghanistan.  True to form, we’re bombing the shit out of everybody regardless of affiliation, as in not Al Qaeda, while they, again not Al Qaeda, are still killing our fine young men and women every day.

So now, the very same General in charge as was in Iraq.   Credited with turning the whole thing around in Iraq with the “surge”.  Understand it had less to do if anything at all with that.  No, the phenomena was known as the Sunni/Anbar “Awakening”.

The “surge” was a pile of horseshit.

“The turnabout began last September [2006], when a federation of tribes in the Ramadi area came together as the Anbar Salvation Council to oppose the fundamentalist militants of Al Qaeda in Mesopotamia.” -NYT April, 2007

The “surge” wasn’t even icing on the shit cake, not even a cherry.  That sounds pretty cynical for sure, but what most don’t know is that we had begun to pay 80,000 Sunni members of that “Awakening”, $10 each a day not to fight us.  That right. That’s an ass pocket of cash to anyone in Iraq.  $800,000 a day we were paying them to not kill us.  You got it. Read it again.  The serendipitousness of the surge was merely that.  If not for the Sunni’s getting their brave and pissed off on, along with us paying them to leave us out of it, we’d still be there.  Killing and being killed.

Oh, sorry, we still are.  There.  Why is that?

And what kind of shithole is Iraq now and why isn’t it on the news?  Contemporary Iraq is best case scenario for Afghanistan and we won’t even come close to pulling that off.  We still have as many as 90,000 troops there. Bombs going off everyday.  Turkey enjoys killing Kurds freestyle.  Recent elections most likely a joke.  No doctors or professionals left in the country.  Poverty, disease above and availability of services including fresh water and electricity far below pre-war levels.  Was it Powell who warned that if you “break it, you buy it”?

Now, let’s talk about blood and treasure willingly spent by our government.   Over $10 billion a month.  At least as many private security contractors as troops, half remunerated with our tax dollars at six figures a year or better.  I’m sure closer to $20 billion a month between the two countries.  How many dead? Not just ours but theirs?  How many?  Don’t know do ya?   If it’s anything like Iraq, the ratio is shameful.  We wonder why they hate us.

And we are gonna screw this pooch way harder than we did Iraq.

Mr. Obama, you are rapidly becoming merely the lesser of two evils because of this outrageous agglomeration.  That is to say, I’m glad it’s not McCain/Palin handling it, but I’m beginning to have trouble making a distinction.  Enough is enough.  The problems we could solve here at home with the the blood and money we spill abroad……..

So Barack, this is human tragedy on a scale that does not belong in this century and I know you’re too smart not to know it.  Americans are far more likely to die of a goddamn bee sting than a terrorist attack.   The “terrorists” have proven themselves to be astonishingly incompetent.  It’s all a lie, and you sir, are abundantly cognizant of that.  Remember, “We have nothing to fear but fear itself”?  Truer words have never been spoken.  C’mon, the shoe bomber?  The Underwear bomber?   The war on terror is as big a bullshit facade as the war on drugs.  What gives?  What are you doing?

You sir, are beginning to appear deliberately venal in the prosecution of this war.  Somebody is getting filthy rich but it sure as hell isn’t the people you were elected to look out for.

I supported you.  I believed in you.  I’m a Democrat.  A progressive.  A patriot.  We both know that the last justifiable war we participated in was WWII and that was over sixty years ago.

We both know that every war since then has been about sending the poor and less advantaged to die defending the interests of the rich.  We both know that’s what war is and always has been.

I’m not happy with the direction or scope of health care, financial reforms and a myriad of other things, but it is here, on this issue that you are losing me.  Soon, I and so many like me, will throw up our hands and resign ourselves to the ranks of the disenfranchised and disaffected.  We will stop caring.

You want to shake shit up?  You want change?  This right here is the best place to start.  End it.  Now.  Bring our people home and bring our money and resources to bear on what we really need.   The homeless.  The able and willing but still unemployed.  Our rapidly decaying infrastructure.  45,000 a year dying for lack of health care.  People losing their homes and their lives.  Our crumbling joke of an education system.  All these things we so desperately need and deserve, so easily solved by ending this utter nonsense that you could not give me a plausible reason for were you able to share a beer with me across a kitchen table, because we both know there isn’t one.

Not a reason, and soon not a beer or a kitchen table.

Our people Mr. Obama, our country, our swiftly vanishing pride.

I understand you didn’t start it, despite what that useless goofcock Michael Steele said, but you sure as hell can finish it.  Not next year, not five or ten years from now, but now.  Right now.

I don’t know whether to feel more sorry for the American families losing fathers, mothers, brothers and sisters or the tens of thousand returning home broken, shattered, both mentally and physically.

Know what’s gonna happen?  It’s all building up to something.  Something that can only end in fire.  This obtuse and utterly senseless course we pursue will likely end with all the mountains and all the sand and all the people, vaporized into glass.  Nuclear war.  Thousands of years from now, bits of them will be discovered preserved, like insects in amber.  Jews, Muslims, Palestinians and millions of secularists who never had a dog in this fight, or worse, didn’t until we pushed it to the brink.  That’s what’s going to happen.

It’s inevitable.  What scares and disgusts me Mr. Obama, is you know it too.

Drinks for my friends.

A big part of my job is eye contact. Sometimes I’m a little fierce about it, but it’s the first and only thing that opens the door to a sale.

I’m a salesman.  I’m not proud of it, but I know how to do it.  I’ve sold millions of dollars of goods in a single year.

I clock you, size you up, I look at your shoes, your watch, clothes and jewelry.  I work at Costco selling window treatments.   By the time you get to me, I know what’s in your cart and whether you can afford what I’m here to offer.  I smile at you no matter what.  I hate it.

When there is a couple, I focus on the female. I’m not stupid. Nine times out of ten, it’s the feminine half that would hold sway over anything to do with with window treatments.  That’s what I sell. Can’t tell you how many times I’ve wasted effort on the alpha male only to suffer the absence of the female. No decision even possible for a simple phone call from the company I represent without the explicit consent of the Hen.

So the other day, I’m doing just that.  A couple cruises by and I see her glance at my wares.  She says nothing but I caught her looking.  So I focus on her.  It was a little slow. Imagine my whole periphery as 180 degrees.  At about 90, I catch her looking.  I do my thing.  I watch her.  She never looks back but at about 130 degrees her oily primate gives me the stink eye.

Then he barks, from some distance, “want me to get you a camera, asshole?”

I’m a little confused because I’m just doing what I do.  I wasn’t checking her out.  Yet he locks eyes with me.  He’s actually challenging me, like he’s really looking for some shit.  I return his glare and he starts to slow down, like he’s feeling it.  I’m not really sure what to do but before I know it, the words, “Your best option is to keep moving.” come out of my mouth.  I don’t need to yell, I have a pretty big voice.  I’ve already picked one eye and I’ve locked onto it.  I don’t think he expected as much.  It surprised me too.  He turned away and kept moving.  I immediately experienced that confrontational flush.  What did I just do?

I start to think of things I could have said.  “Why, because your wife has a big ass and bad skin?”  Or:  “You wanna pick a fight with me because your wife is ugly?”

The whole brief episode made little sense to me.  She wasn’t hot.  She was rather the opposite.  I had fifty pounds and at least ten years on him.  What was he thinking?  I’m not a violent guy at all.  I haven’t hit a man with force and anger since I was twenty years old, but he couldn’t know that.  For all he knew, I might have punched a hole through his torso.  What if after I said that he didn’t keep moving?

The thing is, I was instantly angry.  I hadn’t snapped, but  I was ready.  I believe I would have started toward him.  It very well could’ve been an embarrassing mess.  Trading swings with some asshole on the Costco floor.

Sheezus.  How did I get there?  Here?  You think I might hate this gig?  You’d be right.  I do.  I hate it.  It’s bad enough being a monkey on a stick without this brand of bullshit.  What that guy could not have possibly understood is how much I hate this job and that I was ready to beat the fuck out of him because of it.  Instantly.  I was that angry.  What came out of my mouth was an accident and in retrospect it served us both very well.

Wow.

Drinks for my friends.

This really is so easy. They make it so easy.

As targets, they barely move.

As politicians, they say the stupidest shit.

John “Agent Orange” Boehner said just yesterday in a single interview for the Pittsburgh Tribune that the eligibility age for Social Security should be raised to pay for the war in Afghanistan, disagreed with the proposed temporary moratorium on deep water drilling, but in the same breath offered that we should “pause” any efforts until we figure out what went wrong and compared our worst financial crisis since the great depression to an “ant”.

This asshat wants to be speaker of the house.

Can you say douchebag?  I can.  Say it with me.

I can tell by his slow eyed, puffy countenance that he’s a major boozer; I’m confident it’s the only thing we have in common.

On the very same day, Sharron “failing up” Angle, in her first appearance on anything other than a right wing asstard media venue since getting the nod to run against Harry Reid, said that the unemployed are spoiled and that there are plenty of jobs but that unemployment benefits pay too much (suggesting I assume, that the problem is not a dearth of job opportunity), that the government should force even children who are raped to carry a baby to term because it’s God’s plan and, “The tenet of the separation of church and state is an unconstitutional doctrine,”.

By now she’s flirting with infamy for saying, “If this Congress keeps going the way it is, people are really looking toward those Second Amendment remedies.” ………….”the first thing we need to do is take Harry Reid out.”

This bitch makes Glenn Beck look like The Wizard of Oz.

I couldn’t make this shit up.

But here, in the interest of levity and distillation, I’ll share with you Miss Angle’s true message:  “Hi kids, sorry I keep tripping over my own vagina, *smile*, but I’m the very best the GOBP has to replace the most powerful man in the senate, so you really should vote for me because Harry Reid is evil and hates you and because I’m a Christian, so I will help Nevadans more than he ever has and I promise I won’t embarrass any of you anymore, and if I lose, it’s okay if one of you exercises the full extent of your second amendment rights by shooting him.”

Couldn’t help myself; made that shit up.  Had a blast.

The sermon is short tonight kids.

See, Angle aspires to replace a man who is arguably the second most powerful man in America (therefore the world-think about it), and Boehner lusts after being the third.  Mitt Romney still entertains the notion of being the first.  Who else can they run?  Palin?  She’s too busy stumbling over own pudenda while simultaneously raking in the filthy lucre generated from conspicuously losing an election and quitting her gig as governor of our least populated state just halfway through to cash in on her own infamy.  She may not understand she’s too stupid but she does know she’s too lazy to run.  Not gonna happen.  Guy Smiley (Romney) is the best they’ve got.

As my father would say: “In a pigs ass!”

In a shitstorm unlike America may have ever endured, one that may yet compete with her most severe, this is the face of the Republican party that would promise to navigate us out of it.  Empty headed clowns, jackasses without the courage of their convictions or even a modicum of intellectual curiosity, much less anything resembling a coherent plan.  They are quite simply the best and the brightest this asinine Republican party has to offer.

In the proud tradition of Dumbya and Darth, Dick-in Bush.

If we lose the House and Agent Orange becomes the speaker, if Angle’s obtuse dumb ass ends up occupying the hallowed, distinguished and accomplished seat of Senator Reid, or if a used car salesman like Romney were to be allowed to walk the corridors of terrible and frightening power in the highest of executive evinces come 2012, well then, we are screwed.  We’ll find ourselves in a boiling and violent rapids con sewage without any means to even steer.

Should any of this come to pass, we deserve it.

We would deserve it for all the willful ignorance and blind stupidity we will have allowed to overcome us.

May Santa Claus in the sky help us.

Drinks for my friends.

Yesterday the Republicans, via threat of filibuster ad nauseam, blocked the extension of unemployment benefits as well as medicare monies to some 1.2 million Americans for the eighth consecutive time in the senate.  People for whom, time has run out.  For reasons deeper than simple obstructionism.  Not for mere pettiness, or the only reason being to oppose a President who actually won the election without the chronic malfeasance that accompanied the previous two presidential elections.  Yep, I own and still assert, that they cheated like dirty bastards in the last two.  First in Florida and then in Ohio and we have not yet begun to suffer that chicanery.

But no.  Not for that alone.  But I bet they like that part.  I bet they do.

They mercilessly withheld relief from Americans unable to find a job for six months or more because there is barely a middle class job left in this country as result of their prolific and prodigious efforts.  I know this to be true firsthand.  Nevermind that it represents the most efficacious cost to benefit ratio of any stimulus money we could ever spend.  The money spent goes right back into the system and when those people actually have a job, the deficit will cease to grow and start to shrink.  For hundreds of years the middle class American has been the moral, ethical and economic center of gravity and therefore power in this country and that is precisely why so many Republicans have fought for and cheered it’s atrophy.

When I was growing up, the middle class may not have dictated the national agenda but it damn sure brought force to bear.

Them days are behind us.

Remember when Kanye said “George Bush doesn’t care about black people.”?  He was right. He’s a bit of an ass, but he was right.  I would posit that what is an even more truthful petard is that Republicans don’t give a mad fuck about anybody that isn’t rich.

Ask yourself this:  Why would the alleged deficit hawks object so stridently to extending unemployment benefits at a cost of some $30 billion or so as opposed the literally trillions it would cost to extend the stupid fucking tax cuts to the wealthiest among us?

Let’s talk about the Republicans shall we?

There exists not a single doubt in my mind that the the obstructionist game they play is hell bent to squash a barely recovering economy, despite the desperation of the people they were elected to protect, so as to be able to blame a sick state of affairs on Democrats in general and the Head Nigger in charge in particular.  That’s right, I said it, they hate him for his liberalness and that varies, but they hate that he’s black, and that’s consistent.  It’s a completely plausible explanation for the vitriol and vehemence.  They just can’t stand that a black man was legitimately elected.  The racism that I’d hoped was over by now that I’m aging a bit, is still white hot and raging among the cross eyed, round headed, inarticulate Louie Gohmert style fucks.  I single that little prick out because he had the shameless audacity to compare America’s current president to Hitler on the house floor.  That little fucker from Texas needs to be fitted for a special helmet and given a pass for the short bus.

I’m sick of this shit.

Yes, let’s talk about the fucking Republicans.

Orrin Hatch seeking to amend the bill he had no intention of voting for under any circumstances, to include mandatory drug testing for benefit recipients.  Jon Kyl supposes that unemployment benefits  are a disincentive to actually work for a living.  Dean Heller says out loud that it will bring back hobos.  It goes on and on.  Insensitive, out of touch Republicans kicking once hard working Americans, once with a modicum of pride, while they’re down and just about out.

Meanwhile, they eat their own.

They indoctrinate, persuade and pervade the very people who support them with such bullshit, myopically singular issues, that are so frustratingly irrelevant, inane and beyond anything germane.  Guns and socialism, for example.  I’m confident that less than ten percent of assault rifle owners can even define the term socialism, yet I guarantee they adamantly believe it’s the socialists that want to take their guns away. The Arpaios, DeMints, McCains, Pauls, Bachmanns, Palins, and Rubios, who so actively foment disdain and mistrust of minorities and those of a different sexual orientation, seek merely to to distract their own followers from anything resembling salient.  From simple lexicon to entire culture, the whole construct is morally, ethically and intellectually bereft.

And it’s fucking sick, disturbing and disgusting.

To wit:

All of the sudden they’re fiscally conservative.   It happened when we began to actually count the wars and unfunded mandates and stuff.  You know, count them in the budget.  Um, on the books.  Dumbya had a party, passed out and puked everywhere minutes before he was due to leave forever on Marine One…….. no attempt to clean up even the most cosmetic of issues.  Wouldn’t have done any good.

So our man Obama is in the throes of inhaling a giant, inelegant platter of steaming, vaporous crap.

Bless him.  I mean that generically, but still very sincerely.

He did grab a big ugly bull by the horns to start, but this bull he’s got a hold of is more than what came out the gate.  He may have thought he knew what he was getting into.  As smart as this guy so obviously is, I wonder.  Seriously, how smart can you be and still want this gig?  They always talk about his balls, metaphorically, as in his courage, you know.  I love it when they do that.  To raise the issue is first hand testimony for extraordinary ignorance.  He’s white but he’s black.  They didn’t believe he was a citizen from the beginning.  His middle name is Hussein and nobody can help but embrace the irony there.  He has giant ears.  Of course he has balls.

And they’re fucking racists.

Anybody want to take exception to that?  I realize it’s a big bad thing to say.  I am fully prepared to support it.  Bring it.  I can’t wait.

That last sentence will bring the crazies and I can’t wait.

The moral majority is neither.  I got that from MAD Magazine when I was twelve.

Drinks for my friends.

The Republicans just can’t help it. Tone deaf arrogance. I am in awe. They appear unable to help themselves, despite themselves, in spite of themselves, because of themselves.

This time, they’ve outdone themselves and just may undo themselves.

Oh, the humanity……gorgeously profane, grandiose and so profoundly disgusting.  They would have you believe that BP has been subjected to a “shakedown”, the result of “Chicago Style Politics”, fomented and engendered by the Obama administration.  This after delivering to us the greatest man made environmental disaster in the history of this country.  The truth is, that $20 billion goes to the people of the region, and they deserve it.  Generations of industry that will never, ever recover.  EVER.  People sickened as far away as Atlanta from the mere fumes.  That $20 billion ain’t shit.  There better be more.

But picture the pelicans, festooned with crude, unable to fly or swim, shaking, confused and about to die because they can’t even breathe.  The whales being exploded, literally by our military, because they are too massive to remove.  The dolphins dead, eyes staring at nothing, coated in BP’s filthy treasure.  The turtles being burned alive.  Simply because BP cut corners to massage profits.  The fourth most profitable company in human history and the Rand Pauls and Michele Bachmanns would have you believe our administration is bullying them over their responsibility, their culpability.

Who the fuck are these sociopathic idiots?

They step on their own dicks like the drunken, moneyed fools they so obviously are.

I feel like puking.  I hate them.

It just might bear out that the only lining to even glisten in the aftermath of this outrageous environmental, ecological and economic event horizon, is the stumble fuck reveal of true colors, flown like a freak flag with unmitigated insouciance by a fair number of Republican fucktards.  Staining the entire party much to my chagrin.  And glee.

It really is egregious enough that goofcocks like Limbaugh, the Human Shitsmear and Hannity, so willingly pontificate in defense of asshole corporate entities like BP.  It is an entirely different matter that elected representatives like Michele Bachmann, Rand Paul, Haley Barbour, John “Agent Orange” Boehner”, Joe Barton, Mike Pence, Price, King……. choose to stick an already sticky foot in such overt shit.  And then of course, much to my perverse and guilty amusement, right in their giant cake hole maws.

Where do we put “drill baby drill” Sarah Palin in all this?  We place her as stupid and two dimensional as ever.  Flick her with you finger to discover she disappears from the side view.  She is expert at nothing.  “That woman is an idiot.” -Keith Olbermann

Should these glaringly true colors prove insufficient enough to hobble the Republican party as a whole……..well then, America embraces stupid is as stupid does at least enough to deserve exactly what she gets.  We reap what we sow.  This is exactly a cautionary tale.  Pay attention.  Herein lies the fundamental difference between Republicans and Democrats, between evil avarice and ordinary Americans.

Democrats can be real shits, but not this brand of obtuse fuckery.

Forgive me, but it’s obvious.  They, BP, knew the disaster they were flirting with. They knew.  What we already know proves it.  11 dead men and a culture of corruption that boggles.  I’m confident what we don’t know is beyond any pale.  Tony Hayward along with Goldman Sachs dumped millions of dollars of stock days beforehand.  There’s not a doubt in my mind.  They owned the scale and scope of this prodigious clusterfuck with which they so willingly danced.  How any elected American representative would choose to join such a carcinogenic waltz after the fact baffles me.  It is Intellectual Incontinence.  By that I mean Shit For Brains.

Anybody heard from that prick bastard Cheney by the way?

I hate to love to tell you that the so much of the much anticipated prevail of the Republicans in the midterms may not transpire.  It may fail to bear fruit as a direct result of their own chronic myopia.  I adore the irony.  They visit this disservice upon themselves for once by virtue of laying naked what they actually believe.  What they really think.  What they consider is not human life or wild life.  What they consider is where the money comes from for their re-election, and that is all.  Instead of lying like amateur adolescents, they just might have screwed the pooch by telling the truth as they understand it.  Revealing their abject fucktardedness.  I adore it.

This is very bad, so fuck them.

And this just in:  Today some federal judge in Louisiana ruled against the Obama administration’s six month moratorium to halt deep water drilling until it can be figured out what the hell went wrong, how to prevent it and what to do should it go so catastrophically wrong again.  Big oil was pleased despite what another similar disaster would do to their industry.  Despite what it would do to the people, the economy and whatever ecosystem it might and most probably will occur in again.

I believe this judge needs a bath in The Gulf of Mexico.

This is regoddamndiculous.

What we absolutely must understand, is that this is not by any means a worse case scenario.  As ugly and vulgar as this is, we ain’t seen nothing yet.

“The details of my life are quite inconsequential… very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we’d make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum… it’s breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.”  -Dr Evil.

Drinks for my friends.

Of the debatable catharsis of yesterday:

Joe Barton was just lending voice to what the majority of Republicans actually believe. They don’t give a mad fuck about their constituents, what consumes them is the filthy lucre that will likely be missing from their campaign coffers via the fourth largest corporation in the history of humankind come this November.  Listen to the Human Shitsmear Limbaugh, puke this rhetoric everyday.  He does so because he understands that the money is the key to Republican survival and therefore his relevancy.  It’s where they are all getting it.  It may surprise you to know I listen to him.  Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

It’s not unlike flossing my ass with barbed wire.

I will throat punch that toad if I ever pass him on the street.  I fucking loath that hypocritical prick.  I loathe bugs.

That slow eyed Michele Bachmann and the Batman to her Robin, the ignorant slut Sarah Palin, wasted no time climbing aboard the plutocracy express in defending big oil.  Man I hope they run for the big house, er the White House.  It really is all I want for Christmas, for either or both to continue their many splendored attempts to fail up.  Bring it you bitches.

It is, without a doubt, unconscionable and disturbing that anyone could defend BP at this stage of the game.  We now know enough to understand that they were and are willfully negligent and extraordinarily, spectacularly culpable as well as criminally inept.  Did you hear that CEO Tony Hayward as well as Goldman Sachs dumped tens of millions of BP stock just days before the rig erupted?  Yep, I’m here to tell you they knew.  You know the ocean floor, the earth’s very crust, is leaking from hell to breakfast.  You knew that right?

Yep, that just in.

This nightmare just might go on for years.  Until the entirety of the deposit is depleted.  Hundreds of millions, if not billions of gallons at as much as 70k psi.  Seventy thousand pounds of pressure per square inch.  We ain’t seen nothing yet.  Even if this thing were completely mitigated tomorrow, this fever dream will, and is going, to haunt us for decades.  DECADES.

Word has it that Tony Hayward is to be demoted.  I really can’t be bothered to care but I’m compelled to ask this question:  Just what the hell did people expect out of that dog and pony show live from congress yesterday?  Yep, BP are scumbags, but at what point could anyone anticipate him, while representing them, to give up a single goddamn thing that could possibly contribute to the potential for litigation which will surely arrive like villagers with burning fagots and pitchforks any second now?

What could possibly have come from it?

That whole vulgar burlesque was disgusting and not just for the answers Hayward failed to provide but ever more for the chest thumping, grandstanding, fist pumping, insincere, self righteous bloviating of our elected officials.  They already know BP is guilty as fuck and sure as hell understand nobody from that company is going to supply a single shred of information that could possibly indicate anything remotely resembling as much.  So they played Limey as Pinata for the spectacle.  For our alleged edification.  Disgusting and counterproductive.  A sleazy, hangover film on your teeth, waste of time.

I’m a realist and as disgusting as it was, I give the miserable bastard credit; he was cucumber cool and didn’t betray a goddamn thing.  I wouldn’t demote him if he worked for me, that’s for damn sure.  I’m sorry, but I was impressed.  He did his goddamn job.  Executed with aplomb.

A caveat for the stupid among you; yes, he still sucks.

I believe our executive branch intends to prosecute and pursue BP’s fiscal responsibility with all due diligence.  Even if they lacked the desire, the impetus burns like a well on fire in the desert right up their asses.  I’m also confident that at this point, BP, as well as our government, desires this furious volcano of environmental carcinogen stopped just as badly as the people who occupy and subsist of the region being diseased.  For the exact same reason.

We really are all on the same page here.

So enough with the circus.  Let’s get on with the show.  This kind of crap is merely a distraction.

We need truth and action.  Mobilization, American hands on innovation on the scale of a run up to engage in and prevail in a world war.  Now.  Yesterday.  I think it’s time to roll.

Drinks for my friends.

A manifesto of sorts.  How to solve our own ugly, seemingly insurmountable problems as a nation and perhaps do as much for the rest of the world at the same time.  I’m quite cognizant of how ambitious it may sound, yet things, answers, need not always be so convoluted.  Simple answers for stupid questions indeed.  I kicked this around for a few days with the object being what exactly would I do If I could.  Turned out to be reasonably simple.  Let us, shall we?

In the particular order of urgency.

1) Get the fuck out of the Middle East.  We have consistently and maddeningly failed to effect change for the better there for decades at enormous expense in money and lives.  “Blood and treasure”, the nomenclature neocons and hawks are  so very fond of.  Walk away from Israel, pull completely out of Iraq, Afghanistan and leave Iran the hell alone (they just aren’t a credible threat to us).  Let Iran and Israel diddle themselves, posture and puff and fuck with each other until the cows come home.  If one turns the other’s sand into glass, so be it.  Might just have been an inevitable conclusion anyway.  I’m sick and tired of discrimination and ideology rooted in such archaic concepts as religion.  My God can beat up your God is so nineteenth century.  Our involvement has historically forced a bad situation to flirt with a heavy petting, worse case scenario.  See above.  We’ll fuck it up long before we solve it.

We give more foreign aid money to Israel than we do to every other nation on the planet combined.  Why?  Why do we do that?  They aren’t starving.  They aren’t plagued by disease.  We give them money to kill people.  That’s what they do with it.  They bully and discriminate and kill with your money.  My money.

They are assholes.  Oppressors.  And so are we.  We had no reason to go into Iraq. Tell me different and we’ll play spot the right wing retard.  There is no longer any reason for our involvement in Afghanistan.  There may have been at one time, but that didn’t bear fruit, did it?  Dick-in-Bush dropped the ball spectacularly.  We can’t even say whether Bin Laden is still alive.  We sure as hell can’t say with a straight face that he was behind 9/11.  Now we spend our “blood and treasure” kicking one hornet’s nest after another, making no progress and galvanizing an entire generation to oppose us with no real fear of death.

Things are great, couldn’t be better.  Better……start this again.

Upside, being we’d save about ten billion a month.  We’d stop pissing in the ears, the mouths and up the noses of people who don’t deserve any such thing and be able to afford health care for every man, woman and child in this country.  Education?  Infrastructure?  Walk in the park.  All of the sudden, plenty of money.  See how easy this is already?  Israel would be forced to walk back it’s incendiary dickheadedness and perhaps concede a little humility in the spirit of humanity.  Agree to talk to and treat Palestinians like human beings as opposed to say, cattle to be loaded onto boxcars to be gassed.

I’m no anti-semite but unchecked Zionism is indistinguishable from apartheid.  Israel can piss up a rope, at least until she learns some table manners.  They just don’t deserve a seat at the grownup table.

Moving right along……..

2)Alternative energy like yesterday.  This includes hemp production, the most viable replacement for ALL products petroleum, not just energy.  Plastics, textiles, lubricants, even concrete.  No pesticides, renewable every sixteen weeks or so……not deleterious to to topsoil.  Foodstuffs even, high in protein and anti oxidants.  Strongest natural fiber known to man.  Makes Cotton look Fisher Price.  And of course, solar, wind, tide……the goddamn sun, it’s all there and don’t you try tell me it’s not technologically or monetarily feasible.  It is, and has been for years.  IT IS ALL THERE.  All that is missing is the education and subsequent will of the people.

We could walk away from fossil fuels almost completely in a handful of years.  With plants that ingest carbon and produce oxygen and passive systems that don’t pollute.  Imagine.  It really is this easy.  Really.

3) REAL campaign finance reform.  Publicly funded elections and I mean exclusively publicly funded..  Each candidate has exactly the same amount of money to spend provided by we the people.  Equal airtime, no private contributions and corporations expressly and legally forbade from any participation at all, not the least of which is monetary.  Big energy, big pharma and big money and all the rest barred from the process forever.  This really is our best hope.  It is our singular hope.  It will never happen and so, things will never change.  I remind you thus, lest you think me naive.

Any church that even attempts to proselytize political, will pay taxes on every single goddamn dime placed in the collection plate until they prove they’ve grown up and left the game of jingoistic, hypocritical moralizing behind.  Organized religion has never done more good than harm.  I fucking hate churches and their obviously undeserved tax exempt status, yet blatant and bold fuckery.

4)  Abolish all drug prohibition.  The most lucrative legal cash crop in California is citrus, clocking in at aprox. $1.5 billion a year.  Marijuana by contrast is around $17 billion a year.  In California alone bitches.  We incarcerate more people per capita in this country than ANY nation on earth, the majority being non-violent drug offenders.  People can and will abuse substances whether legal or not.  It’s analogous to preaching abstinence only to teenagers.  To do so is pissing in the wind of millions of years of instinct to procreate.  Mankind has sought to self medicate since we first crawled out of the soup and discovered the coca plant which eventually begat the bong and then the crack pipe.  The war on drugs is an abject and embarrassing failure and a massive financial rabbit hole.  They’re not criminals when they begin their institutionalization but they sure as fuck are by the time they hit the streets their first time out.  Therefore and hence, the majority of “offenders” will return to the institutions.  There is no such thing as rehabilitation in the United States prison system.  The default has long since become recidivism.

Addicts will be addicts whether their poison is legal, sanctioned, or not.

Tax it.  Regulate it.  Stand a far a better chance of keeping it out of the hands of children.

5) End the grip of the military industrial complex.  America is actually wealthy as all get out.  We crap cash. We swim in the filthy lucre.  The largest industry in the world is the ability to manifest death.  We as country spend nearly half of every dollar spent on just that.  Talk about a nation dedicated to war.  Ten times the expenditure of our nearest competitor; that would be China, who by the way, has four or five times our population and they’re doing a hell of a lot better than us thank you very much.  They practically own us for fucks sake but they aren’t dancing in the streets because we’re barely worth shit anymore and they’re stuck with us.  We have become the turd in their punchbowl.

We’ve never really been a democracy, at best, we may have been able to define ourselves as a republic, I’ll settle for that.  I cannot bear that what we are and have been for some time is a plutocracy that insists on making nice with a backward ass “Christian” theocracy.  The reason the corporations adore the religious zealots so is because they are so pliable.  So easily manipulated into acting counter to their own interests.  I want to throw fossils at creationists like Lewis Black.  I can’t stand them.  On one hand, you know, whatever gets you through the night, on the other, you really must be fucking kidding me.

6) Suspend whatever broadcast license Fox News, Limbaugh, Hannity, Beck et al. hold that enables them to perpetuate such profligate, heinous, insidious, inflammatory bullshit.  They’re welcome to their opinions, interpretations even, but abject lies on the public airwaves will henceforth not be tolerated.  Dan Rather got fired, so did Bill Maher.  Helen Thomas resigns in shame but these assholes still have access to American living rooms every goddamn day where they vomit the most toxic, vile effluvium with gleeful and wanton disingenuousness.  Fuck that shit.  Free speech is not a license to lie over and over and over again.

The answers are simple, the Devil is in the implementation.  All these things are interdependent of and on each other.  No single item can be completely efficacious without a congruent and concerted enactment of the others.  I understand this.  Yet what I’m proposing here is so gorgeously simple.  Such a clear path toward most of us being able to get on with life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness…….. I couldn’t resist sharing my grandiose little pipe dream with the rest of you.

Drinks for my friends.

I’m somewhat loathe to take this on.

Again.

I’ve already written about it once and fairly well forecasted what wicked this way came if I do say so myself.

Just over the edge.

And it’s not like everyone one else hasn’t been piling on. What’s the use unless I have something new to say, some new devilry to contribute?

I will tell you this and thus reiterate: it is way worse than the media dares to speculate and far more widespread and destructive than you imagine.  This shit is fucked up.

I am a little surprised at just what a vulgar carnival it has devolved into.  As if the tragedy itself does not merit our horror enough, the politicization thereof inspires Grand mal projectile vomiting.  Partisan pricks screeching that the President hasn’t done enough.  Of such pinheads I would merely ask what more would you have him do?  What different?  He was on the scene from the very beginning, long before the obfuscation by BP began to suffer the antiseptic of both sunlight and science.  Understand that this is in no way his fault despite it being most definitely his problem.

Anyone with more than a clump of toxic crude  for an intellect is by now well aware that comprehensive culpability is the exclusive purview of BP, Halliburton, Transocean, Darth Fucking Cheney and the various virtues of avarice.  This, despite shrill exhortations of porcine pundits like Palin, and Limbaugh, that the fault somehow lies with the environmentalists for forcing dangerous oil extraction further off shore.  “Drill bay drill”, you stupid fucking cunts.

Heard this one the other day:  Only an idiot can perceive another idiot as genius.

I’m willing to wager that lipsticked pig Palin fails to realize that any or all domestic oil production does not somehow magically stay within our borders for our exclusive consumption.  No, it goes on the open market to the highest bidder.  Nor would she admit that Deepwater Horizon padded it’s possibilities for production with the same bogus ecological impact studies submitted to her state of Alaska.  They cheated from their very own homework.  I’m not here to write a term paper but understand that the paperwork BP submitted for that very well in the Gulf of Mexico references remedies they would undertake were the walrus population threatened.  Walruses?  In the Gulf of goddamn Mexico?  They would have promised to protect penguins too if they thought it would help their chances.

As I predicted, BP has lied to us with simultaneous shamelessness and fierce diligence.  They lied that there was a leak to begin with.  They lied about the flow, it’s rate, it’s hideous volume.  They lied about the vast underwater plumes.  They lied about the safety, efficacy and consequences of the dispersants they insisted upon using.  They lied about having a fucking clue what to do.  They lied about who’s fault it was and what actually happened.  They’ve manipulated the media, restricted access to fouled beaches and even engaged in search engine fuckery in a blatant attempt to sensor the extent of the worst man made disaster since Chernobyl.

True to form, assholes like Eric Cantor take to the air whining about the counter productivity of Obama making BP into a villain.  He actually lamented Obama’s endeavor to find the right “ass to kick”.  Took issue with the profanity.  That Tea Party jackass Rand Paul has the the stones to posit that it’s “Un-American” for Obama to say he intends to keep his boot on the neck of BP. Boehner, or Representative Agent Orange, had the retarded audacity to side with US Chamber of commerce when it posited that the liability cap of a paltry $75 million not be lifted retroactively.  “I think the people responsible in the oil spill — BP and the federal government — should take full responsibility for what’s happening there,” Boehner croaked.

What a couple of dicks.

This brings us to Bobby Jindal, the once rising star, the great other skin color hope of the Republican party.  No, not Michael Steele.  Bobby “I hate big government so much I’ll decry and pretend to deny federal stimulus money until I take it and ask for more” Jindal.   Now the little bastard is out of the closet all the way.  Pontificating ad nauseum in public like a chronic masturbator with demands on the federal government and the Obama administration and how the money and the resources aren’t nearly enough.

You know what chaps my ass?  His stock is rising.  His second act in American politics is in full swing as a result of overt politicization of this staggering clusterfuck of a disaster.  Oh, and they’re all pissing and moaning about Obama’s moratoriums on deep water drilling.

To all of them I say:  There may not be an “I” in Team, but there are three “U”s in Shut The Fuck Up.

I saw a clip on Comedy Central today where my hero Lewis Black said something like just because Dumbya is no longer president doesn’t mean idiocy fled the country.  It’s like whack-a-mole he said, you get rid of one and three more pop up.  He also said that the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico means there won’t be any shrimp for your shrimp cocktails you jackasses!  I loves me some Lewis, he likes to throw fossils at creationists.

I love the levity but here’s some gravity.  Barack Obama may just, might could, enjoy a unique opportunity here.  Whence upon a time, the dust will settle, the chattering, nattering class will have shut up and the brackish blackness  from the mesozoic will finally cease to flow from depths to shores, polluting everything in it’s path.  It will come time to mitigate and metamorphose this most heinous of episodes into gorgeous things.  Good things.  Golden things.  This could very well be the catalyst for the best ghost of our human future.  Mr. Obama may just be able to lean on it as an abject example, a final lesson, of greed and recklessness and harness it to steer us in the right direction.

Energy, after all, could and should be free.  Our entire world has been powered by the sun which begat the wind and the waves long before we ever emerged from the primordial soup, tails dragging.  Without the Sun, there would be no oil.  Technology has advanced significantly enough for us to abandon this archaic, insidious and poisonous methodology and embrace the Sun, literally the star of our solar system, in it’s stead.

It’s no secret.  Any scientist or physicist would concur; that awesome, perpetually exploding ball, some 93 million miles away in the sky, is all we really need.  All we ever have needed.  It’s the reason we are here.  It really is that simple.

Children of the sun.

It’s time.  We put a man on the moon with a hundredth of the computing power now available in any given laptop and even some cell phones.

This is big picture stuff and he is a big picture guy.

C’mon Barry.  You can do this.

Drinks for my friends.

I’ve avoided wading in on this issue for far too long. I feared not being as well informed as should be.  Could be.

I understand the differences between Israel and Palestine are historied.  Protracted.

I will tell you now that I no longer care.  I believe I know enough.  I understand I’ve seen enough.

I’ve had enough.

It’s absurd.

I honestly couldn’t give a mad fuck regarding Biblical or scriptural precedent.  I don’t care.  Religion is the root of all evil as easily as is money, so why would I deign to defer to it of all things?  I despise organized religion and racism and bigotry and class warfare…….to me they are all the same save for a different mask on any given holiday.

I’m not sure Palestine is right but I know Israel to be egregiously wrong.  Where Palestine is able to muster a a baseball bat, Israel sends warplanes loaded with death.

A ship from Israel’s only albeit tenuous ally, Turkey……..again the only reluctant ally in the entire hemisphere besides us, which Israel knows and understands to be loaded with humanitarian supplies, absent weapons but present medical supplies, food etc.  Israel attacks, yes storms with weapons and overt aggression, in international waters and thus in clear violation of international law, common sense and essential human compassion because Israel understands said flotilla has activists aboard.  Not terrorists, activists.  Unarmed people who loath their bullshit.  People who choose to risk their very lives because Israel can’t stop being the world’s biggest asshole by getting away with practicing and implementing the sickest version of xenophobic apartheid this side of South Africa because my country, the United States of America, gives more money to Israel, than it does collectively to every other far more deserving nation on the planet combined.

That’s retarded.  Fucktardian.

See, in my eyes, this makes Israel as a country, as a cause, as a legitimate player on the world stage, as an entity striving for recognition and relevance, NONE OF THE ABOVE.  You, Israel as a nation, are an asshole.  You suck.  Your consistent arrogance, your unchecked and unmitigated violence directed at your Arab neighbors provides those of us with compassion and objectivity with no other choice but to see you as a bunch of violent dickheads with an unfounded sense of entitlement.

Just who the fuck do you think you are?

There are many in America and even more worldwide that understand the possibility of peace in your neck of the the woods is an impossibility because of you and your actions and because of your extraordinarily obtuse existence.  Israel fucking sucks and so does America for our blind support.  Your country wouldn’t be worth a shit without our money and I for one am sick and tired of funding your egregious, morally and ethically blind bullshit.  I would love to see you operate in the theater you occupy without our money.  My money.

Israel would not last a day without our tax dollars.  And really, why should it?  I’m not endorsing their destruction.  Really, I’m not.  I’m merely suggesting that they man up and figure out what life is like without Uncle Sam allowing for them to be punk ass bullies.  Empty shiny bitches.  Prima donnas.

I’m pretty happy with our President, but if I could demand one single thing from him, I would demand that we stop giving Israel a single dime and instead redirect those funds toward impoverished nation states that could actually use it to feed and care for people.  As opposed to you know, imprisoning and killing them.

For the record, if you bring anti-semitism into this dialog, you’ve missed the point.  Over your head.  Stand up and it just might hit you.  My problem is with unchecked Zionism.

See, I can’t help but think our platonic embrace of all things Israeli contributes to the precipitous rise in our own incidents of domestic terrorism.  For example.

Hypocrisy = Lying and Stealing and our tax money propping up a system of dirty bastards is exactly that.

What set me off was the persecution of one of America’s last great and brave journalists: Helen Thomas.

Helen Thomas is an institution unto herself. I adore her and don’t see a damn thing wrong with what she said. She is an Icon and deserves to be. It always frustrates me when honest intelligent people are forced into a bullshit Mea Culpa because of something uttered in completely justified anger.

For the record, here is exactly, and I mean exactly, what she said.

MySpace

blogs.myspace.com/brainspankorg

home | mail | rss | sign out
Michael

Michael Douglass

Last Updated: 3/10/2010

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Pfffft
Current mood:Ponderous
Category: Quiz/Survey
1.
how are you?

I Meant to tell you, I’m tragically afraid of grasshoppers.

2.
who was the last person you hugged?

A man with large biceps that laid carpet for a living. I barely avoided arrest.

3.
look to your left, what do you see?

A full busted woman named Maximillian

4.
where do you like to be the most?

On a bidet, as long as the water is warm

5.
whats your fave film?

Kodak, or that film on your teeth that accompanies a scorching hangover.

6.
what does the last person you commented on myspace mean to you?

A roll of quarters.

7.
what did you last laugh about?

Tater Tots. It was a gleeful chuckle. Ketchup and salt bitch. Pine tree shaped air fresheners. Canned fruit. Men with stupid haircuts that eat lime Jello with mayonnaise and pineapple on top.

8.
where was your default took?

On top of Old Smokey, all covered with cheese.

9.
whats the first thing you look for in a girl/guy?

Boobs. Money. Sturdy boots and a walking stick. Modern appliances. A well stocked pantry. A fondness for liquor.

10.
if your still in school, whats your fave lesson?

Gravel management. Meatstick management. Really stupid shirt supervision.

11.
what do you work as / want to work as?

Kraft foods, Velveeta division.

12.
do you play video games? if so, which is your fave game?

Pong.

13.
who never fails to make you laugh?

Rod Blagojevich and Christians.

14.
what are you listening to right now?

The sigh of brainrot.

15.
who did you last have a sleepover with?

Licky the Carniverous Pony.

16.
i bet you miss someone, who?!

Pistol packin’ mamas.

17.
are you happy with your life right now?

I’ve never been closer to it sucking ass.

18.
why did you last get upset?

Salad. A lack thereof.

19.
who was the last person you texted?

Marcus Xavier Sasparilla. I like women with big asses.

20.
who do you live with?

Beddy & Swirly. They rock.

21.
do you like living with them?

Swirly poops on the bathroom floor and Beddy pisses indiscriminately. I adore them. I would kill for them.

22.
whats your mood right now on myspace?

Incendiary.

24.
did you realise that there was no 23?

Collapsible drinking cups. I prefer a ‘Z’ in my realize.

25.
what does your profile song mean to you?

Silence.

26.
who did you last shout at and why?

I just want a normal life with a nice place to live and sometimes I’m afraid that’s not going to happen because I turned 44 yesterday.

27.
It’s not normal to be any specific way.

Unless one is specifically and rigidly random.

28.
what was the last thing you went to see in the movies and with who?

I went “in the movies” to see a man about a horse. He wasn’t there. There was a wonderful concession stand. I tied a bandanna over my nose and held it up with a realistic looking water pistol. I fled the scene with pockets full of skittles, Junior Mints, and those neon colored sour worm things.

29.
whats your fave food?

I like buffets with lotsa rich cheesy food. Salad bars with good cherry tomatoes and various cheeses. Anything deep fried. Anything combining raspberries and dark chocolate. I like pasta with cheese. Mixed field greens with onions, tomatos, balamic viniagrette dressing and bleu or feta cheese. I like triple creme brie as a leave in hair conditioner. Sushi. Why doesn’t Asian food go well with cheese? I’m thinking albacore with cream cheese.

30.
are you in love?

I’m in incapacitated, intolerable, insatiable and intubated.

31.
do you remember how you was 3 years ago?

Yeah bro, how was you?

32.
if so, does it make you cringe?

Tit tattoos. Fat men in tutus. Ann Coulter. Rush Limbaugh. Dive bar toilets.

33.
if you could be with someone right now, who would it be?

Dumbya. I’d wouldn’t let him go until until I knew for certain just how dumb he is.

34.
do you have any blogs on your myspace?

I have no blogs on your myspace. Try brainspank.org.

35.
whats your fave thing in your room?

Four different kinds of pudding in four different corners.

36.
is this quiz boring you?

It’s pissing me the fuck off.

37.
if you had one wish, what would you wish for?

A mink toilet seat.

38.
when was the last time you lied?

I was offering a young girl candy to get in my van.

39.
are your lips chapped?

Ask the little girl.

40.
any last words?

My girlfriend stole my cheese. A bag of “quatro formaggio” from Trader Joe’s. She alleges she was justified in doing so because my refrigerator is in disrepair and I had no method to properly store my bag of many cheeses.

Weak.

Cheese needs no refrigeration. Any fool knows that.

Drinks for my friends.

Currently listening:
Bad Music for Bad People
By The Cramps
Release date: 1990-10-25

So Hunter, he of the plate of shrimp, leaves a youtube video of The Grateful Dead performing “St Stephen” for the beautiful people on Playboy After Dark, 1969.

Then:

Hunter Oswald

every time I go apathetic with them, the motherfuckers creep up and do something cool from the grave.

Michael Douglass

What can it it all mean? My personal punk rock hero……..scratch that, a personal Rock and Roll hero slash way too long lost pal…..is pimpin’ The Dead.

Right where I can see it.

Next he endorses giving senior men free viagra so they don’t roll out of bed. … See More

I’ve got two chapters on that record we did with Dave and you boys. I must know what you thought of it then and what you think of it now before I can finish this part.

It’s been a long time coming, this part.

I kinda want you to write part of the story. Go with it. If not, give me some quotes. Do you mind what I’m asking you? Are your testes withered Caucasian white grape raisins?

I went off the paxil. My dreams are crazy, vivid, and now very elaborate but so convoluted. I get stiff when it blows outside. I’m a little emotional. That’s it so far. I was on it for four or five years.

Bring it.
I’m not kidding.
Kick Start My Heart
(yanks own front tooth with a simple bottle opener)

No really.
Write me something. This is a good idea.

bitch

Drinks for my friends.