Caught up on all matters media today.

Sometimes I just need to run and hide for a few days.
After the fires, I had to go. La Sabbatical De
Brevity Con Media De Anger. Whatever it was, it was
good while it lasted.

It’s true I’m having a splendid time watching the
Republicans implode. It’s spectacular. Not unlike
skulls melting in some action adventure horror flick.
Comedy too. They just can’t seem to keep their
reptilian dicks from getting caught underneath their
reptilian shod feet. I really can’t help but bray
like a jackass, whistle and spray gin at the screen.

I mean, Fred Thompson is a complete dipshit. Haggard, stupid and inarticulate.

All the kings horses and all the kings men have either
forgotten to dance a certain linedance lockstep or
have lost faith. They are alone. As individuals,
they wither from the storm’s wrath as rapidly as the
lonely Dick-in-Bush.

Vampires at dawn.

Meanwhile, Hills continues to run like she’s already
got the Democratic nod, courting the hawks and
rednecks and religious zealots who pine for the
apocolypse, by carressing them with tough talk on Iran
and otherwise whispering to the middle.

I gleefully waltz through her intestines with impunity
for her audacious voting record on the war and the
vast amounts of money she draws from the evil elite
like a succubus with a vacuum powered coke straw.
Sorry. I’ve been drinking.

She’s not as bright as Bill, but she doesn’t fall
asleep to dream of clearing brush and nursing a bottle
of Beam either. Very smart, this woman and I like
that. But it’s uncomfortable watching a woman pursue
the art of horseshit so adroitly.

I understand what she’s doing and she does it with raw
expertise and more than a modicum of grace. Yet, what
comes out of her mouth of late gives me fits of
consternation, panicked doubletakes and frequent
pause. Yep, all three.

Sometimes, it’s like a seizure.

Best case scenario is that she can’t show her cards
because she needs to get elected first. Where does
that leave all of us that used to like her? Do we
need faith?

Blind faith?

Us that used to like her have our man Bill. That’s
all she’s got. It’s not going to be enough for
our vote. We’re still a year and half out from the
General, not enough legs there to hold all of us
until then.

It’s time to talk to us because you’re gonna
need us.

And we really like Kucinich.

What if he goes third party?

Take a page out of the Dick-in-Bush playbook. They
actually lost both elections but managed to look so
good, nobody cared. They never forgot their base.

They dumped them just the other day cause they’re done. No longer necessary. Obsolete.

Kinda comical to see the faithful looking for a political party.

See what I’m saying?

A benefit of the doubt because of your significant
other will not carry what is still a very long day.

We’re not stupid. We understand that you have to
dance with devil in the pale moonlight. But you are
gonna need to reach out to us. Better to do it before
sundown, that’s when we start drinking.

A little less chit chat. A little more chop chop.
Somewhere between 10 and 20 percent of us really pay
attention and you’re gonna need us if it’s close. My
guess is it will be close.

brainspank.org COMING SOON!!

Drinks for my friends.

Fire is horror like a steel bucket with claws at the
end of a pneumatically muscled arm swinging towards your head. Ever seen one of those beasts on a construction site punching the
ground?

Fire is that. It is that to our instincts.

Our fear of it resides in the stems of our brains.
Humans did not invent fire, We stumbled upon it. We
found it and stuck our hand in it. Eventually we
undertook a serious discipline of burning ever larger
numbers of our own kind as quickly and as effectively as
possible.

We tripped over Fire, and that begat nuclear bombs.

Yesterday, the sycophantic panty wastes over at Fox floated a
malodorous air biscuit live on TV that suggested Southern California
burns at the behest of Al-Qaeda.

You have got to be fucking kidding me.

Kinda like thinking Dick-in-Bush were at the very
least complicit in events on 9/11. Wait. Strike
that. I think they just mighta been.

So anyway, this is where we are. California burns and
the flat earthers, the ones that can’t get their simple heads around evolution, grow a compulsion to inject the anemic specter of
terrorism into the fray.

Assholes.

Arsonists? Sure.

But Al-Qaeda? Seriously? We are goddamn idiots for
living in a country where a major media outlet could
see fit to broadcast such hollow horseshit.

Honestly, where does this leave us? Depraved.
Morally and ethically bankrupt. Not because of sex on
TV. Not because of drugs and pornography.

But because of pedophile priests, and dickhead
politicians so crooked they can only piss over a shoulder. That was funny. Because we flirt with theocracy as we race headlong for plutocracy. Because we are nearly hopelessly derailed by a ubiquitous modern media.

An entire culture constructed around looking in a mirror and being profoundly but pleasantly decieved by what you see. Even on TV, there’s always someone worse off than you or at least uglier.

And always, a plethora of things to make you feel better.

It only takes one dipshit at the proverbial water
cooler to say he heard Al-Qaeda was behind “The
Wildfires” and they tell two friends and……….feel
me?

Then they talk about last night’s reality TV cadaver.

Then sports or sudoku or Ellen’s fucking dog.

We don’t talk about “IT” enough. The 800 pound
gorilla. The headlong. The nosedive. The faceplant.

The “Fucked” that we just may be. How do we introduce
that legislation into the public zeitgeist? How do
we get that bill to play in Peoria and to the rest of the unwashed?

I’m a little upset.

Brainspank.org coming soon.

Drinks for my friends.

I’m delivering this one to you in a suit and tie.

Nixon had an approximate approval rating of 25 percent
when he was forced onto the plank. That quarter of
America is forever lost to ignorance and the politics of manipulation by fear.

Different faces. Different generation. Identical mindset. Count on
the stupid. They will always show up.

There is another quarter that are inclined to willfull
ignorance. Deliberate stupidity. This quarter is intellectually
lazy enough to pay less than requisite attention to
make up their own goddamn minds. They have the
capacity, but are too distracted and self involved to
think for themselves.

When challenged or confronted, they tend to embrace jingoistic sentiment and lash out at those of us who laugh at them by accusing of us hating America and undermining our troops. Dickheads.

It’s just how they roll.

Most people aren’t stupid, they just don’t pay attention.

The aware, and they that know their own minds, are thus required to
begin every contest with a deficit of at least one fourth of the potential pie.

The opposing rangers toxic, enjoy the whole pie as potential, due to chronic lack of intellectual curiosity and a morbid desire on behalf of the populace, to have the shit scared out of them.

This is what we are up against. The last two presidential elections were stolen. It’s no wonder that fact hasn’t been allowed to prevent such an egregious level of fuckery to seep into the periphery of mainstream consciousness.

Stolen. They fucking took them. Doesn’t that scare you? If it doesn’t you are an idiot.

Notwithstanding how predictable and obvious our attitude for such criminality is, the whole thing still makes me want to puke spicy Asian cuisine on the shoes of runway models and amazonian transexuals.

The Dude does not abide. A paradigm shift is essential.

Sometimes, simple isn’t beyond common sense. Sometimes it’s the specific poultice for a general malaise.

Fight fire with fire they say. I just might agree.

The words “World War Three” jettisoned G. Dumbya’s lips the other day.

It occurs to me that if they go there, then so should we. If they want to trot out mushroom clouds, perhaps we ought to as well.

I would never foment such for spite. See, what they shake in our faces as inevitable consequences of liberals somehow prevailing, are the exact consequences to be visited on all of us if they prevail.

Yep. World War and mushroom clouds. They think Iraq is a party.

So, I think we might just want to start fucking talking about that.

See what I’m saying?

“I told her Never in hell, no special reason
Musta lied ’cause I ain’t leavin’
We’re in for a very long night
Heard a vicious rumor from your mama’s tongue
You a desperate woman, need a man with a gun
High crime zone, in the city o’ lights

Baby please, can’t take it anymore
Ah! Baby please, can’t take it anymore- Van Halen “Romeo’s Delight”

Drinks for my friends.

I found this guy who seems to be a pretty swell guy in the News & Politics top ten and I just couldn’t help it. I hope you all understand. I’m not picking on him but rather taking exception to an underinformed mindset. That and, I just couldn’t help it. My response to him on his blog follows.

You seem nice enough, a reasonably intelligent and well adjusted guy. But I have to take some exceptions here. I hope you understand. Also, if I’m blunt, understand it’s in the interest of brevity.

Here we go, you say:

“Iran, just as Iraq was, is engaged in supporting and training terrorists that seek our destruction.”

*Bullshit. At the very least, Iraq was a secular country and terrorists are anything but secular. Saddam was an evil bastard but he shunned religion in his politics and for good reason. As for Iran: If this chaos was taking place in Canada or Mexico, you can bet your ass we’d be in that fight for the sole reason of influencing it’s outcome in our favor. It’s intellectually dishonest to pretend Iran has no dog and therefore no interest in this fight.*

“Iran, just as Iraq was, is engaged in the production and procurement of WMDs. While Iraq was likely seeking nuclear weapons, it is most likely that Iran already has them (or is within days from having them), along with the ballistic missile capabilities required to deliver them to a very broad theatre.”

*Bullshit! What are you smoking? If the IAEA says Iran is compliant, just how the hell do you figure Iran either has nukes or is “within days”? Come on! That is conjecture overdrive.

And seriously, we didn’t find a damn thing in Iraq. Nothing. No shred. No indications. Nothing. We walked through that country like it was a grassy field. They had NOTHING!*

“Iran, just as Iraq had, has violated numerous U.N. demands for weapons inspections.”

*I can’t comment on the latter because I don’t feel like looking it up. But you’re first point can be proven to be bullshit by anecdote. Hans Blix, formerly of the UN inspection team and the IAEA said in an interview on BBC TV on 8 February 2004, Dr. Blix accused the U.S. and British governments of dramatising the threat of weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, in order to strengthen the case for the 2003 war against the regime of Saddam Hussein. Also, for what it’s worth, Saddam never expelled inspectors, they were pulled out.*

“Iran, just as Iraq had, poses a direct threat to the United State’s security interests.”

*You just can’t make a statement like that without supporting somehow. How? Why? You’re stupid because I say so. C’mon!*

“Iran, just as Iraq was, is governed by leaders that seek the destruction of Israel and her allies.”

*Yer killing me here man. SEE ABOVE! News flash: Ahmadinejad’s alleged call for Israel’s destruction is subject to interpretation via translation and he said the opposite on American Network Television. 60 Minutes? CBS?

And when exactly was Iraq ever a threat to us? Throw out all Kool-Aid in the house!*

“In short, we are justified in engaging in military actions against Iran. If they do not have fully operational nuclear weapons now, they will very shortly. It is my belief that we need to engage them now, rather than later. I honestly don’t believe that we can afford to wait any longer.”

*No. We are not. Bullshit. The only thing they have done that is remotely provocative is have weapons made in their country show up next door. Our weapons are in virtually every fucking country on earth and we’ve never had this kind of chaos on either of our borders. Just what is your point? Like I said, they have a dog in this fight and we didn’t.*

Then you go on to endorse the merits of surgical strikes as opposed to invasion. You rightly point out that we lack the capacity and resources for an invasion and that it could very well devolve into a third world war. Good job. I agree.

But what makes you so sure that an Iranian nationalistic tsunami wouldn’t be the obvious reaction to our bombing the shit out of them? And if we use even tactical nukes? It’s all over but the shouting. It WILL be WWIII and those won’t end up being the last nukes used by about five different countries.

Your Entire platform is made of straw. Your points are straw and so are your arguments. I respect you for thinking this hard about it but you’ve just thrown an airball here. You got nuthin. You’re a good guy, so stop watching TV and read something.

We’re in big trouble here and we need those with functioning hearts and minds like you, to pay attention.

Thanks for indulging me.

Drinks for my friends.

This just off the API and UPI wire, dateline Burbank 10/16 10:56 p.m. EDT:

LEADING MEDIA COMPANY BACKS CONSERVATIVE SOAP OPERA.

A media representative from FOX NEWS spoke under guarantee of
anonymity today and let slip, “One of the big
five will do the reveal soon on a primetime drama with
a story line that reflects more traditional family and
patriotic values than what has become standard fare on
contemporary network television”.

He also intimated that the working title for the
series is “As The World Turns Back To The Right”

A White House spokesperson applauded the move and quipped “The Lord knows and understands that this great nation could certainly use some programming that is both wholesome and rich in violence against brown people as well absent any uh, activities relating to procreation or masturbation”.

He also assured that the planet does indeed, spin left, “if one looks from the top down”.

This reporter had a grip of conversations with all
kinda folks in the business. Caterers, drivers, union
officials and chauffers.

This reporter learned that the protagonist of the
series is an affable dickhead named “Horhay Shrub”. To be
played by George Hamilton, also, an affable dickhead.

Our hero is Mayor and Sheriff of his small backwardass town as well as editor in chief of the local paper. The people, they love him.

There’s always a sidekick, who in grandiose
sitcom tradition, is the occasional antagonist. This
reporter has it on good authority that Ann Coulter
will play the role in drag. As a dude. Her character’s name will be Richard Bruce Coxcunt, Deputy Mayor.

An advisor to the series commented that “Miss Coulter
is a natural. We cut her wig, put her in a man’s suit
and had makeup emphasize that horse apple in the middle of her longish throat while we made sure she used her freakishly simian hands a lot as she delivered her lines. He really is believable”.

Apparently, our hero/protagonist has another trusted friend, who’s
name begins with a K, and will be played by the ghost
of Larry Bud Melman-the late great Calvert DeForest. Little is known about this character but that he sometimes takes over Mr. Shrub’s
brain for fun and profit. Hallowed Beltway chicanery ensues!

This reporter also gleaned a handful of plotlines from
various convenience store clerk/writer-entrepreneurs
around the city. Loose lipped cashiers as it were!

Por Ejemplo mi amigo: Shrub, Dick and K hear rumors at a church
barbecue about an “ethnic” guy across town who buys a
lot of fertilizer that could be converted into weapons
grade yellow nukyalar cake and equally dangerous frosting. They immediately spring into action and commence fomenting distrust and ignorant bigotry on their own block about the other ethnicities and religions across town.

Wait til you see what happens then! That’s only the
pilot!

There’s conflict and passion. The whole story arc of
the very first season is spectacular in it’s breadth.
Lives are lost, neighborhoods are leveled and one
begins to imagine the smoking destruction if the
ethnic people with the crazy religion on the other
side of town continue their obstinate insubordination and defiant willingness to live.

Triumph and then tragedy, as all but the trusted side
kick Dick, abandon our hero Horhay. His weapons
dealer, his lawyer, his Casperesque brain and even his
gardeners and servants walk away.

Then, best bud Dick has a coronary attack so severe
that his organ explodes in chest like a huckleberry
pie packed with C4! Like fireworks with juice!

Even more tragic, this reporter learned that while his chest cavity erupted, Dick was attending a preschool event for his lesbian daughter’s toddler. Sources indicate that the proceedings were some manner of play/pageant and as a result, dozens of little girls were festooned with the Deputy Mayor’s fluids.

By the end of the first season, which is actually the
second, you’ll see, our hero stands alone. All he has
is his own moral compass and his principles. His
steady hand with a six shooter and his conviction.

It is at this, the most crucial of times, that our man
Horhay experiences a crisis of confidence. He finds
himself at a critical crossroads. No longer does the
racket in his ears, formerly pissed in by those who have seen
fit to relenquish him, distract our patriot.

He is a man confronting the dawn with no friends and
all his enemies allied against him. He is afraid. He
is ashen and his lips quiver and spray. His knees buckle as he strolls the once propsperous neighborhood. He simply had
no idea that listening to these fuckheads would bring
him this much grief.

He pinches his nose and walks to the volcano’s edge.
But then, he smirks and walks back, a twinkle in his eye.

The season comes to an end. It’s not TV, It’s
Hammer Of The Gods.

“Some silicone sister with her manager’s mister told
me I got what it takes
She said, “I’ll turn you on, sonny, to something
strong if you play that song with the funky break”
And Go-Cart Mozart was checkin’ out the weather chart
to see if it was safe to go outside
And little Early-Pearly came by in her curly-wurly and
asked me if I needed a ride”-Springsteen.

Drinks for my friends.

I’d like to show you all something I’m very proud of,
those in the front will have to move back a
little………

I’m not sure how to go about this or even explain it,
but “Don” has so baffled me with his own protracted
confusion, I now stand fascinated.

I need to understand this man a little better. He and
I occupy opposite extremes at the polarity of common
vs. uncommon sense. I simply cannot believe over half the
shit that comes out of his mouth with the sincerity
and abandon on his part, of some sort of holy warrior
patriot.

One of us is most certainly and completely, wrong.

I hope it’s not me.

As woefully misguided as I estimate him, he seems to
mean what he says. As frightening as that may be, I
need to have a better grip on it.

Should I send a friend request?

I imagine he already understands that on my blog,
he is something of a sideshow freak, long after
the circus has left town. At the very least, he is a
limbless man/boy named Matt or a repulsive woman
with a silky beard. No less than a pariah to some of you.

His indefatigable willingness of participation to my blog, has
allowed us far more than a brush with a freak that we
wouldn’t typically have been afforded such intimate exposure to in such close quarters.

I kinda feel smeared.

Forgive me though, I’m curious.

What confounds me so much; the man is clearly
not stupid. Far from splitting the atom, he still
writes and expresses himself reasonably well. And he
has conviction. In his own mind and perhaps even his
heart, he speaks truth.

How can that be? He reflexively vomits right wing
caustic bigoted and boilerplate bile immediately upon
being challenged or confronted. It is a learned
behavior. Pavlovian.

He performs it with churlish indignity.

Where does such volume of passion, for what is all but
a quivering house of cards, come from? How can that
be? It makes no sense.

Fear. The great force multiplier.

An effort has been made to influence every one of us
with the cudgel of fear that equalizes our dignity
while multiplying our reptilian impulsions for
bloodshed and carnage.

The Cold War. I grew up in literal fear of nuclear
war. We actually had drills and were shown violent
and ominous movies. My fear was palpable, it was
fucking chewy. In the end, we didn’t blow them up.
We outspent them. And America was damn near broke by
the time that infamous Wall fell.

During that time, heavy pockets got heavier. Lite
pockets got lighter. The birth of contemporary
plutocracy. The concentration of wealth through fear
as the the great wealth multiplier.

We are now in that loop, only it’s version V.2.7.

See what I’m saying?

Guys like Don paid good money for this shit and they
want to see some dead “sandmonkeys” on TV. They don’t
want to see black men with an education, much less
nicer rims on their cars. That is an affront to men
like Don. He is afraid. He learned to be.

When he’s not afraid, he’s at least distracted, probably annoyed, He’s just watched Fox and probably got his ass kicked as a kid.

It is so very compelling that he was so willing to
assume that I was neglected and/or abused as a child.
I wasn’t.

FEAR.

See what I’m saying?

Don, and all the people like him are small, by virtue
of fear.

“There is nothing to fear, but fear itself”-FDR

Maybe, just maybe, the point is not to hold Don up as
the example.

Maybe the onus is on us. Individually.
Responsibility. Accountability.

See what I’m saying?

Drinks for my friends.

Bill Clinton.
Good guy. Very smart guy.

Al Gore.
Good guy. Very smart guy.

Hillary Clinton.
Good Guy? Very smart guy.

George W. Bush.
Not a bad guy? I don’t know. Really fucking stupid though. Lethally dumb without a doubt.

Our Man Bill has become an efficacious tornado of altruistism
and an intellectual human holiday. He’s lifted the
mantle from Jimmy Carter. We like him. We have good
reason to. Beyond his gravitational charisma is
brains and empathy. Despite the games he’s been
forced to play, he’s always given a fuck.

Al Gore. A bit of a tragic figure but he’s found his
way. Should never have distanced himself from our man
Bill. The energy assholes were fond of calling him
“captain ozone” twenty years ago.

There’s a lot less fat Texas dickheads laughing these days. Won the
goddamn Nobel today! How cool is that? Fuck you in
the neck you captains of industry.

The tear between the clever and the moronic is rent ever further.

Two guys smart and driven enough to still delight in
trying to make it better.

Relax, I understand that you don’t get that far
without having both hands inside the corpse. Both
these guys have already spun in their graves. They
are dirty. Without a doubt.

Today, the political progeny of these men is our
man Hillary. Woe is us. She is as pungent as the
piss soaked Hollywood homeless. She’s raised more
money from Big Money than any of the rest of them.

Therefore, public suspect number one.

Before the ’06 midterm elections, I wouldn’t have
given her a Slurpee’s chance in an active volcano.

Now she’s the front runner and the conservatives don’t
have fuck all. The most conspicuous artifact of the
Republican fall from grace is that they can’t seem to
get their hands on the filthy lucre.

But Hillary can. It’s the very same blood soaked pile
that used to be the royal jelly heroin exclusive to
the GOP. Big energy, pharma, defense,
telecommunications, etc. have all walked away from the
bipolar pinheads across the aisle and have begun to
PAY our spineless, cowardly party and it’s front
running asshats.

Ha! They’re still our problem.

Big Money has no choice. Their previous party darling
has been stepping on it’s own dick for so long that
Christians, rednecks and even racists are genuinely
embarrassed.

Kinda fun to watch Dick-in-Bush struggling to give Big
Money retro active immunity in the clustefuck of the
illegal wiretapping fuckery. All the big administration players have left the building; the handful left behind will rush flagrantly towards any open wound.

Then there was the veto of the medical insurance bill for children because it smacked of “socialized medicine”.

They have nothing to lose. In possession of more than
a simple get out of jail free card, they have
annihilated their party, our country, our reputation,
our security, PLUNDERED our economy, our rights, our
CONSTITUTION, our dignity and our ability to pursue
life, liberty and happiness.

They don’t care. In a year, they ramble. No
accountability and no responsibility. Into the
sunset, resplendent from fossil fuel emission, they
shall ride.

“Crazy,but that’s how it goes
Millions of people living as foes
Maybe it’s not too late
To learn how to love
And forget how to hate”

“I’ve listened to preachers
I’ve listened to fools
I’ve watched all the dropouts
Who make their own rules
One person conditioned to rule and control
The media sells it and you live the role” -OZZY OSBOURNE

All the mayhem and chaos and damage stays. Whole
countries and a world turned upside down in
considerably less than a decade. In place still, will
be the massive life eating engine behind a different
porcelain mask. Mostly blue instead of mostly red.

Not without complicity, complacency, apathy and
ignorance, will this be allowed to pass. But it will.
You bet your ass. It’s done.

“OOMPA LOOMPA DOOMPADEE DOO
I’VE GOT A PERFECT PUZZLE FOR YOU
OOMPA LOOMPA, DOOMPADAH DEE
IF YOU ARE WISE YOU’LL LISTEN ME
WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU GUZZLE DOWN SWEETS
EATING AS MUCH AS AN ELEPHANT EATS
WHAT ARE YOU AT GETTING TERRIBLY FAT
WHAT DO YOU THINK WILL COME OF THAT
I DON’T LIKE THE LOOK OF IT
OOMPA LOOMPA DOOMPADEE DAH
IF YOU’RE NOT GREEDY YOU WILL GO FAR
YOU WILL LIVE IN HAPPINESS TOO
LIKE THE OOMPA LOOMPA DOOMPADEE DO
DOOMPADEE DOO” -oompa loompa song

VOTE KUCINICH!

Drinks for my friends.

So I was ambling dolefully down the lane of my choice when I found myself in the News & Politics top 10. Been spending a lot of time there lately.

Thanks. Really.

Anyway, I came across this guy with nothing but a one question, two choice answer blog. A “poll”. I kinda hate that because there’s no original content and it takes space on the charts from original thinkers and writers.

Then I read his question. I’m not gonna single this guy out, he certainly doesn’t need any more attention, so no links, you guys will find him if you want.

It’s the stupidest fucking question I’ve ever heard in a very long time.

Understand as you read my comment, that I’m doing the best I can to focus on the mindset, as opposed to the pompous jackass that hoisted this low gene pool, walkin’ the dog cro magnon question:

“DO YOU WANT DEFEAT IN IRAQ OR DO YOU WANT VICTORY IN IRAQ?”

*you have two choices*

DEFEAT IN IRAQ

*or*

VICTORY IN IRAQ

So I had this to say:

Not only is the question retarded and deceptive,
regardless of the answer, the question is
irrelevant. It’s like asking someone being presented
with two identical red cars if they prefer the black
one or the white one.

It is classic neoconservative obfuscation to assume
that the “war” in in Iraq can be won. See, despite
military objectives being achieved, the “war” is
unwinnable, because the war has long since ceased to
be, a military problem. The “war” is not a war you
idiot.

The war became a geopolitical, ideological and
diplomatic problem about two months after we showed
up. Uh, and a handful of decades before that.

Seriously, read a book without pictures.

Your question presupposes so many ridiculous notions
that I suspect you’re immune to being disabused of any
of them.

Who do you want us to “defeat” in order in order to
achieve “victory”? There hasn’t been anything
resembling a military in Iraq since the very beginning.

Remember? We relieved them all, fired them. They
shed their uniforms, took their guns and ammo, helped
themselves to all the stockpiles of weaponry our “war”
architects simply overlooked, and showed up the next
day armed like Travis Bickle without the rather
obvious mohawk. Then they didn’t just shoot at us,
but rather everyone they didn’t know or like.

It’s the same intellectually dishonest crap you one
chord, two dimensional, simpletons foist when you
accuse those of us who actually want our troops home,
of not supporting the troops.

I vow here and now to punch the next dipshit conservative as hard as I can in the mouth upon he or she having the ignorantly prideful temerity to even question my patriotism when I express my desire for this killing of our kids and innocent Iraqis to end yesterday.

Again, for the dipshits: Over One Million dead
Iraqis, over Four Thousand Dead Americans, Over
Thirty Thousand permanently and life alteringly
Damaged Americans and over Seven Hundred Million
Dollars a Day to perpetuate this madness.

Why, how, can fucktards like you be so singularly
focused on archaic and obsolete notions like “victory”
and “defeat” with all this going on?

The rest of us have moved on. We understand that such
concepts haven’t even been on the table for years and
you don’t get it. I do not apologize for attacking
you for fomenting such egregious and willfull
ignorance. It’s not however, personal.

How do you percieve this clusterfuck as so black and white
after all this time? Even if you’re color blind, be aware the myriad shades of grey. I wonder if it’s because you and your ilk are either so simple or so confused, that you want this hydra to be about good vs. evil and right vs. wrong. You want it to be some 1950’s western
where all you need to know is who’s wearing the white
hat because the whole goddamn thing is black & white anyway.

Hey man, who was the victor and who was the defeated in Vietnam? Nevermind. It’s a rhetorical question and I don’t give a mad fuck what you think.

What’s the difference between an orange? See above.

I hate to tell you this, but dude, you ARE the
problem.

Your poll question is insipid and beneath the contempt
of every American capable of making up his own mind.
Most Americans are too smart to be insulted by your question, don’t count on us to be compassionate enough to avoid being disgusted by it.

Drinks for my friends.

I think it’s kinda funny that the one “moderate” Republican is a jackass like Guiliani. Then I laugh my junk off when the conservatives threaten to walk away from the Republican party if he gets the nomination.

You can’t write this shit. He really is their only chance.

So, they get their panties in such a twist that it restricts oxygen flow to their paleolithic oblongata, over Skeletor being pro choice, and they threaten to castrate themselves by going third party.

Man, I love to hate these slippery, disingenuous bastards. You think any of them give a mad fuck about the principle of life? A great many think they do, by virtue of indoctrination and religious propaganda, but they’d get vacuumed or pay for a hoovering, pun intended, immediately upon being confronted by inconvenience or convenience.

Then there’s the money. Dogmatic fundamentalists will give their morning gruel and bus faire as long as you’re in favor of capital punishment and against a woman’s right to choose. A very wealthy base built on the backs of the great unwashed.

They also know that Skeletor is no match for Billary on a level playing field. They are panicked because they know they lack the muscle to tilt that field a fourth time. They screwed the pooch on the third try.

This, kids, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, this is entertainment.

The Republican party, pictured under ‘ignorant lockstep’ in most childrens bibles and adult dictionaries, is literally gnawing on it’s own ass. It is perhaps, so preoccupied, that it’s about to ass barf all over its own face.

They have acute assfazia. The ass so closely resembles the face, that bowels pregnant with hypocrisy are unsure what direction to explode towards.

Yes mam, they’re about to shit themselves.

I’m having too much fun with this.

Now for the bad news. The Democrats suck too. Sorry. They do. Hillary and Obama box over trivial shit to distract you from Kucinich, who tells you the truth about stuff that’s important.

He’s whip smart. He has logical plans for efficacious policies as well as their implementation and he’s not here to fuck around. He’s serious.

The front runners are too far inside to even care about what you want and what you, we, really need.

An abject example: Last November there was a massive power shift in Congress dictated by the will of the people. A clear mandate was the catalyst; a reversal in the Iraq war was expected. That expectation fueled conviction at the polls more than any other issue.

Ask yourself, what do we have to show for it? Allow me to answer. Not a goddamn thing. Nothing. Same as it ever was. $700 million a day and over a million dead Iraqis. Four thousand of our own dead and over thirty thousand handicapped and damaged for life. That disgusts me.

Not one of them (Domocratic candidates), when asked if they would guarantee a complete troop withdrawal by the END of their term in 2013, could do anything but snort and stomp and make excuses.

Save one. Dennis Kucinich said three months. Done deal.

Health care and peace too.

Make sure your seatbacks and tray tables are in the upright position. Do the best you can to avoid the vulgar puppet show playing outside every window and on every screen. The same one on TV, radio and whatever dumbass magazine you’re reading.

It really is time to pay attention.

Drinks for my friends.

Allow me to come at you correct, Ahmadinejad is not the most savory character on the world stage these days. He is in fact, a punk ass bitch. He’s a micro-penis in the power structure of his own country. He holds no currency. And, he’s a dipshit. He says they don’t have gays in his country, despite the fact than one can be executed for it.

Oh, and he questions the Holocaust.

However, he’s on the world stage and he regularly commands a spotlight. His influence over Sunnis in the Arab world is powerful, yet callow. He is extraordinarily well educated, accomplished and probably very smart.

He knows what he’s doing.

The stupid among you will be smug in your estimation that a savage dared to visit our shores and summarily had his ass handed to him.

He already knows what you think and you just spent three days with his hand up your ass. That, is why he came.

By the way, you guys did great. Your jingoistic outraged hubris was spot on. When the president of Columbia university lacks the basic courage to respond to Ahmadinejad’s remarks after the fact, as opposed to engaging in sophomoric rhetoric and insults before he utters a single word, it’s obvious there’s still a majority in this country that can’t get enough Kool Aid.

While America stands with hands on hips and thinks that we showed that bastard, and who the fuck did he think he was anyway, the rest of the world bowed it’s head and shook it.

More than a few covered their eyes.

“A man walks down the street
He says why am I short of attention
Got a short little span of attention
And woe my nights are so long
Where’s my wife and family
What if I die here
Who’ll be my role model
Now that my role model is
Gone gone
He ducked back down the alley
With some roly-poly little bat-faced girl
All along along
There were incidents and accidents
There were hints and allegations” – Paul Simon

Soon we will have been in Iraq for FIVE YEARS. Already longer than the big one.

Every aspect of this clusterfuck has played underneath and just behind the proscenium of a short attention span theater. Dumbsfeld said weeks, maybe months. All these years and it’s still unmitigated chaos. And it’s costing in excess of 700 million dollars a day.

A brief caveat: Today Dumbya vowed to veto a bill that would increase health care for uninsured children.

You have got to be fucking kidding me.

Now, imagine if you will, that this same scenario was taking place in Canada. Would we be selling them arms? No. We would be giving them away. Or maybe selling them to both sides because we’re dirty, filthy, greedy pigs.

You can bet your ass we’d be involved. Neck deep. So Ahmadinejad gets torn apart for wading into the power vacuum that we left behind out of myopic stupidity right next door to his house.

Is our attention span so short that we’ve forgotten that we made this goddamn mess? We made this mess with a country that didn’t have dick to do with the original mess. Mess O’ Patamia.

The only hope of stabilizing the region at all is to initiate a dialog with Ahmadinejad’s bosses. Quit kicking the little bastard and take his country seriously.

I was really looking forward to the interview with Christiane Amanpour on CNN. After 60 Minutes and the debacle at Columbia I was anticipating a more level, if still American, stage.

It didn’t happen. Ahmadinejad had already accomplished what he came here to do. In spades. He didn’t come here to talk to us. He came here to talk to the rest of the world in front of us and despite us.

Predictably and infuriatingly, we played the straight man. Well done, assholes. I predict you’ll be sorry.

Drinks for my friends.

FURTHER READING:

I need to point some shit out.

Tempted by the fruit of another

So, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, the president of Iran took the podium at Columbia University today.

Before he takes the mic, he’s pretty much savaged by the dickhead in charge. Didn’t they invite him? He’d already had his ass handed to him by 60 Minutes.

And then well, he stood up and said some really ridiculous shit and they laughed at him. He has some serious sack, this pious fuck, but he’s still a bit of a douchebag.

This pissing match between him and Dumbya is a little like a bare knuckle fist fight between a pair of geriatric invalids. It’s kinda funny. I picture them naked except for huge saggy diapers.

Yep, silly, pointless and a little tragic. Neither one holds all the cards, and neither one wields the power of their respective regimes. Punch and Judy.

People in either country think they’re both assholes.

Lest we forget, Ahmadinejad is next door to the worlds biggest conflagration/power vacuum. He may be stupid but he plays because he’s living on the slope of an active, lava filled, geopolitical zit.

Don’t blame him for attempting to influence the flow of puss from the boil America picked at.

He’s here, but so far he’s talking to and playing for, his own people. Meanwhile, we don’t talk to very many besides our own either. We sure as hell don’t talk to Iran.

What if we did?

What if we tried being friends instead of arrogant red neck war mongering ignorant pricks? See, right or wrong that’s the path that they have been led down. That is what they think.

Bear in mind that Iran is fairly progressive society in the context of that region. And although it’s people regard some of our policies as idiotic, let’s face it some are, they don’t hate Americans.

Not yet anyway. Dick-in-Bush are doing their damndest to squander that goodwill.

“Comb your hair and paint and powder you act proud and I’ll act prouder
You sing loud and I’ll sing louder tonight we’re settin’ the woods on fire
You’re my gal and I’m your feller dress up in my frock and yeller
I’ll look swell but you’ll look sweller settin’ the woods on fire………..”
-Hank Williams

It’s absurd. Still, I’m a little giddy over the anticipated catfight tomorrow at the UN. Perhaps Douchebag and Dumbya will compare dicks and we can all move on.

I don’t intend to paint this embroglio as anything but really goddamn serious, because if we initiate hostilities with Iran we really are ‘arrogant red neck war mongering ignorant pricks’.

Allow me to be clear:

Attacking Iran, while we’re losing two other wars in the region, at the same time Iran exerts far more influence in the way bigger of the two conflicts than we do, is an unbelievably stupid idea.

See, despite the fact that our ground forces are a blister about to burst, there is an assload of 21st century firepower parked in the gulf right at the end of Iran’s front sidewalk.

The Navy is all fresh and ready to fuck something up. And they will. The first part will be over in a few weeks, just like both forays into Iraq.

And then, best case scenario is an even more pissed off and far larger nest of wasps who can’t wait to kill Americans any way they can.

Worst case scenario is complete chaos. Lotsa nukes over there kids.

That’s ok with Dumbya and Douchebag. They both get a little moisture over the apocolypse.

It’s gonna be great. The nighttime footage will be spectacular.

Drinks for my friends.

60 Minutes tonight delivered a message to the President of Iran on behalf of Dumbya “You’ve made terrible choices for your people, you’ve isolated your nation, you’ve taken a nation of proud and honorable people and made your country the pariah of the world”.

This guy, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, is a jackass. But is he any more of a jackass than our own president?

The Iranian president’s response should have been that he could say exactly the same of President Bush.

Certainly, as recent polls attest, Western Europe now believes that Dick-in-Bush and therefore America, are THE greatest threat to security and peace in the world today.

I pointed it out just a few days ago and tonight 60 Minutes put it out there. Russia is back and they don’t give a mad fuck about democracy.

Yeah, so the Fed cut interest rates. Band aid. Don’t forget that move simultaneously devalues the dollar; you know, the currency rapidly on it’s way to being worth the same as a peso?

Watch commodities like gold and oil. Can you say ‘recession’?

It’s kinda weird, but the Lyndon LaRouche people call me every few weeks. They called Friday night and they tell me the states are panicking over the subprime meltdown. Meanwhile it’s already on our backburner. The stockmarket bounced back didn’t it?

Oh, and China is propping us up while getting ready to strangle us for resources.

Then there’s the two wars we’re losing at $700 million a day and the one we’re lusting after in that country just to the right of the one we’re a sucking chest wound in this very evening.

You all know how we got here, but where do we go from here?

I don’t really know either. I just wanted to interrupt your Sunday evening repose with a reminder. Kucinich is my man but he stands the same chance as a fart in a whirlwind. Hillary will be a kinder gentler new boss but same as the old boss.

As much as I hate to say it, I think hope still has a home in the legislative branch. As the train speeds along the tracks this evening, she’s pointed to a Democratic executive, most likely the wife of William Jefferson Clinton.

Now, the Democrats are notorious dipshits, and they could screw this up, fail to heed an order to stop the silver bullet for a bus full of neoconservative, fundamentalist, evangelical born again christian fetuses with various disabilities, freshly aborted, for example. And the spectacular collision footage with fire and oversized heads flying everywhere will be played ad nauseum by mainstream media with even more graphic footage on the internet.

If that happens, no one will pay attention to eyewitness accounts that Sekletor Guiliani was seen at the crossing holding a mysterious handheld clumsy black box with a giant antennae while wearing his standard rictus grin.

I’m starting to wonder if the only answer is to support an even further sea change in the legislative branch. I’m getting tired of hearing Biden and friends pissing & moaning about not enough votes as an excuse for not taking off the gloves and getting down in the goddamn mud. Hey Joe, you want more of your own next November? Start swinging now. You and Reid. He used to box you know. By the way, you won’t be getting the nomination.

I don’t care about religious denomination; whether Democrat or Republican matters less each day. All I want to know is if you’re rational, truthfull and truly patriotic. Patriotic as in, let’s call an end to this failed avaricious exercise, spending lives and money we don’t have and bring these unfortunate kids home.

Then, I don’t know, explore the diplomatic tip with the same brand of conviction?

It sounds kinda weak, I know. But it would be pretty handy to be able to say to Congress, “Shut the fuck up. Do what we tell you, you’re out of excuses”.

Face it, no matter what happens, our arsonists laureate are determined to bequeath a clusterfuck. This, is the only certain thing. So, the the time to figure out what to do with said clusterfuck is today.

My suggestion is to start looking hard at your elected representatives. Starting today.

Drinks for my friends.

Didn’t the white hats win big in ’06? Wasn’t there winds of change, maybe not blowing, but wafting? There was an anticipated shift in the breeze away from the inferno. Right?

Here we are and I can’t believe it. All fucking OJ
all the time. So a sociopathic scumbag might actually
go to jail. Good. Beyond that, I couldn’t care less.
Last week it was Paris Hilton and the week before it
was Ms. Lohan sucking paste in a toney rehab bathroom.
I may have the timeline wrong but honestly, who gives
a mad fuck?

Yesterday our very own Senate was unable to restore
the nearly nearly one thousand year old institution of
Habeas Corpus, “The Great Writ”. The Republicans
didn’t even have to fillibuster, they merely threatened to. Not enough votes for cloture, thanks in part to Benedict Joe Lieberman, so the invertebrate Democrats went to lunch.

Shouldn’t they have at least forced the Reps to read aloud
from Mein Kampf or The Enquirer on the Senate floor?
For fuck’s sake we’re talking about the Constitution here.

Today the Unites States Senate, the most powerful
legislative body in the world, took it upon itself to
admonish Moveon.org for an ad that “impugns the honor
and integrity of … all the members of the United
States Armed Force”. What kind of chickenshit move is
that?

The confederacy of callow dipshits took the time to
pass a resolution with the same bullshit hollow
rhetoric spat at everyone who has objected to this
insane war since it began. The very best they can do
is miss the point entirely. One of the reasons we
take exception to this clusterfuck is because it’s
killing our troops for no goddamn reason you idiots!

Also yesterday: “Senate Republicans yesterday rejected a bipartisan proposal to lengthen the home leaves of U.S. troops fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan, derailing a measure that war opponents viewed as one of the best chances to force President Bush to accelerate a redeployment of forces.” -The Washington Post

Our esteemed Senators have their heads so far up their
asses, their bowels don’t know which way to move.

Yet, in the last two nights I glimpsed none of this on
the news, save OJ’s latest fifteen minutes, of course.

You have got be fucking kidding me.

The future’s so bright, I gotta wear shades.

It’s not just your fault America, although you are culpable. Even if you’re one of those being gagged by the media with shit you’d rather not swallow, you’re still complicit.

How do I know? One word. Ratings.

Turn it off. Read. Ask questions.

Stop being a common patsy.

Drinks for my friends.

September 19, 2007
Today Obama proposed a tax cut and that’s a spectacularly dumb idea.
In all fairness, he did propose some much needed reforms as well as shifts in policy and ideology. He did speak to the widening income gap and therefore, simultaneous atrophy of the middle class and concentration of wealth in America right goddamn now.
But, we’ve got a whole fucking city down south that is now merely a study in compassionless governmental inept broke ass dipshitedness.
And this war is not only shamefully stupid but very expensive. Russia fell because they ran out of money. Russia crawled away from Afghanistan because the coffers were about echo, long since about ring. A radioactive water supply, shit loads of nukes and nuke fuel unaccounted for……………and Putin overtly tightens his grip.
He pretty much fired everybody and took his ball home this week.
By the way, Russia is back.
And this time we’re broke.
Then we have the housing bust, it looked to me more like a soft skull implosion, and the inevitable subprime conflagration. Greenspan maintains he missed that one. I doubt that.
Then there’s the extraordinarily ominous notion that China owns a massive chunk of our asses.
Tax cuts are a really bad idea. Simply because the best we could hope for, were Barack to prevail, is a symbolic cut in taxes to the poor and middle class and no reform at all.
Well, and because it’s a really stupid idea from every other angle as well. The Republicans tried the tax cut tango and by virtue of smoke and mirrors, murder and lasers, fucked every one but the rich.
What we need, is those proposed reforms and re-prioritizing. Repeal the Dick-in-Bush fuckery and close the damn loopholes. You know, the ones that make it free to do business offshore?
We really need to pull an assload of troops out of Iraq as our very first DIPLOMATIC move. While we’re doing that we need to start making some goddamn friends in the neighborhood for once.
We don’t need no fucking tax cuts Mr. Obama. Your move may be a shallow populist grab for the great unwashed because your fellow Donkey/steeds are bustin a nut over healthcare, while you and Hills are on the big pharma tit like no other whorse on the grounds.
Or you may be sincere. I don’t care. Bad form. Gamesmanship: Zero.
I’m simply using you as example Mr. Obama, an example of underestimating what we want and what we know is needed. We have whales to fry. Now is no time to make decreasing revenue an empty priority.
I don’t dislike you, so I’m hoping you do better.
By the way, Stewart and Greenspan tonight was a Frazetta painting of two genuine big brained geeks riffing. It rocked my taint.
Drinks for my friends.

Today Obama proposed a tax cut and that’s a spectacularly dumb idea.
In all fairness, he did propose some much needed reforms as well as shifts in policy and ideology. He did speak to the widening income gap and therefore, simultaneous atrophy of the middle class and concentration of wealth in America right goddamn now.
But, we’ve got a whole fucking city down south that is now merely a study in compassionless governmental inept broke ass dipshitedness.
And this war is not only shamefully stupid but very expensive. Russia fell because they ran out of money. Russia crawled away from Afghanistan because the coffers were about echo, long since about ring. A radioactive water supply, shit loads of nukes and nuke fuel unaccounted for……………and Putin overtly tightens his grip.
He pretty much fired everybody and took his ball home this week.
By the way, Russia is back.
And this time we’re broke.
Then we have the housing bust, it looked to me more like a soft skull implosion, and the inevitable subprime conflagration. Greenspan maintains he missed that one. I doubt that.
Then there’s the extraordinarily ominous notion that China owns a massive chunk of our asses.
Tax cuts are a really bad idea. Simply because the best we could hope for, were Barack to prevail, is a symbolic cut in taxes to the poor and middle class and no reform at all.
Well, and because it’s a really stupid idea from every other angle as well. The Republicans tried the tax cut tango and by virtue of smoke and mirrors, murder and lasers, fucked every one but the rich.
What we need, is those proposed reforms and re-prioritizing. Repeal the Dick-in-Bush fuckery and close the damn loopholes. You know, the ones that make it free to do business offshore?
We really need to pull an assload of troops out of Iraq as our very first DIPLOMATIC move. While we’re doing that we need to start making some goddamn friends in the neighborhood for once.
We don’t need no fucking tax cuts Mr. Obama. Your move may be a shallow populist grab for the great unwashed because your fellow Donkey/steeds are bustin a nut over healthcare, while you and Hills are on the big pharma tit like no other whorse on the grounds.
Or you may be sincere. I don’t care. Bad form. Gamesmanship: Zero.
I’m simply using you as example Mr. Obama, an example of underestimating what we want and what we know is needed. We have whales to fry. Now is no time to make decreasing revenue an empty priority.
I don’t dislike you, so I’m hoping you do better.
By the way, Stewart and Greenspan tonight was a Frazetta painting of two genuine big brained geeks riffing. It rocked my taint.
Drinks for my friends.

“And I saw, and behold, a pale horse: and he that sat upon him, his name was Death; and Hades followed with him………..”

Hey Chelsea, it won’t be Osama, Obama or your momma!

We’re fucked nine ways to Sunday. From hell to
breakfast.

Diseased, canker ridden rats scattering like there’s gunfire. Gonzales,
Rove, Powell, Rumsfeld, Bolton. Libby, Wolfowitz, Mike Brown, and last but not least, the three pigtardians, Franks, Tenet & Bremer.

Last three, recipients of the Presidential Medal of
Freedom. I’m guessing for being shameless at ass
licking and salad tossing at the Dick-in-Bush used car
lot.

Every once in a while I’m forced to wonder if it’s
merely stupid men for stupid times.

The answer is yes.

I really fucking hate these bastards.

Dumbya flashes across screens lastnight looking beat to
roadkill and still he foists the most ridiculous dishonest shit upon us. This smoked and spent human turd is our President. Dumb as a stump and really uncomfortable without a hand up his ass.

Then everyone piles on and does the best they can to
take our dipshit laureate seriously. Analyze and comment on the substance of his message. High fucking comedy.

Here’s an idea kids; Let Iran, Syria and the dirty
medieval Saudis help.

Why not? Stability is in their best interest. The
Saudis are pricks, but they have lots of money and
really hate the idea of a rogue nation right next door.

The Iranian people wouldn’t mind being us. It’s by
far the most progressive country in the region. They
make Saudi culture look like fucking Hee Haw with
televised executions.

This is goddamn ridiculous. Our bumbling inetptitude
resulted in a bouquet of tragedies, not the least of
which is a thorough disdain for America throughout
the region and a power vacuum in Iraq for which we are
soley culpable.

Iran’s interest might be a good idea if we thought
about inviting them to a few birthday parties and
maybe a wedding or two. We’re so fucking stupid.

All the king’s horses and all the king’s men are
idiots.

So Why?

Why do we continue to ignore all these common sense
notions?

Here’s a hint.

It weighs 800 hundred pounds, is covered in hair and
has opposable thumbs. A violent behemoth with a withering exhale and an ass that goes unwiped. The Gorilla’s name is Oil.

Actually, it’s official name is Every Natural Resource Available In The Region With An Eye Towards Greater Domination By Controlling More Of The Worlds Energy.

Dick-in-Bush have long since sublimated themselves to this reeking beast.

What we need to understand, is that there is no longer a chance to make this vile primate our bitch. At least not without a third world war which may precipitate an apocolypse of sorts.

The goddamned neocons would all experience priapism on that day I’ll tell you.

Let’s just solve this right here and now. I’m taking common sense for a hundred Alex.

The simian has left the building.

We really have only two choices:

A) Continue to make ignorant and unthinking war, including a unilateral unprovoked attack on Iran. A move that increases the probability of the US wielding nukes at some point because it will simply be all we have left. A move that may go down as humankind’s dumbest day.

B) Or, negotiate and actually enlist Iran’s help in attempting to stabilize Iraq. Stop threatining them with a radioactive ass stomping the period before recess and make friends. Introduce them to the crazy Saudis and the rest of the neighborhood kids, including those pesky Jews, and maybe start a chess club.

A lot of you still haven’t managed to wash the taste of a 70’s Iran and a dickhead Ayatollah out of your mouths. This is a fairly secular, somewhat capitalist country who’s people kind of dig us these days. They don’t like their asshole president either.

There will be horrifying bloodshed regardless. Anyone who thinks a solution is possible without rivers of it is a damn fool. This is real. So it is time to choose and these are the choices.

In the meantime it wouldn’t be a bad idea to get off the cancerous tit of fossil fuels.

Investigate hemp. Corn ruins the soil, requires toxic pesticides and is less efficient than gasoline. Turn that on it’s ear, pun intended, and you have hemp. That’s just energy.

Strongest natural fiber known to man. All textiles and plastics, viable food protein and the crop can be grown virtually anywhere and renewed every 13 to 16 weeks.

Forgive my didacticism, all I’m saying is that this not as hard as it looks. It’s solvable. Yet, only if you pay attention; back the right policies and the right people. Get your fucking heads out of your fucking asses.

OR, vote for me and I’ll save your ass.

I kinda want to be Vice President cause that’s where the power is.

Drinks for my friends.

I wasn’t impressed.

Dick-in-Bush are nothing if not adroit with the smoke
and the mirrors. Adept with the dogs and the ponies.
If it didn’t smell so damn familiar, if it didn’t give
me the creeps, if I was new, I might just swallow it.

Today General Mars Petraeus spoke, and he was full of
shit.

I’m not interested in writing a term paper here;
suffice it to say that we are further away from any
lasting solution than we were when Petraeus entered
stage right.

The potential for peril continues to swell as
Iran breathes power into the vacuum. It is an unmitigated
mess. A sigh between today and abject
failure.

The only thing mitigated is a chance for a
solution and that is by our own hand. Now we shake
fingers and rattle swords at Iran.

No wonder that the rest of the world
fears our foolishness.

I was impressed with CNN.

From Christiane Amanpour’s piece on religion and
conflict to this very evening, where I see Anderson
Cooper call into question the copious glut of charts
and statistics proffered by Mars Petraeus in front of
congress today.

Bravo.

Cooper and CNN are savvy enough to realize that
bouncing atop a wave of ever increasing Americans who
are beginning to see that they’ve been fed shit for
over six years is a wise play indeed. They are
saying, it seems, that we’ve been lied to so far, so
how do we know we aren’t being lied to now?

In other words. There seems to be an enormous war fat,
lipstick slathered swine of an emperor without any
clothes, parading gracelessly in our streets and on
our televisions.

Dumbya is not just sinking in the polls, he’s starting
to disgust us. Beware the tipping point that has us hating
ourselves. She’ll be coming ’round the mountain when
she comes.

Don’t go thinking these guys are done. They have fifteen months. It will get worse.

Read my lips. Mark my words.

You ain’t seen nothing yet.

Drinks for my friends.

Larry Craig is a self righteous prick in profound
denial. Word is, he’s eying a mulligan. A do-over.
Maybe he won’t resign after all. If he can just get
that pesky little conviction overturned.

You have got be fucking kidding me.

The depth of self delusion here is staggering.

Does he honestly think his admission of guilt and the
subsequent conviction for disturbing the peace is the
catalyst for the spectacular flame out of his career?

His Republican colleagues slammed the car of family
values and bigotry towards gays in reverse and stomped
on the gas harder and faster than I’ve ever seen a
collective of disingenuous blowhards do so before.
They wanted distance from, and condemnation for, this
dirty little self loathing faggot just as fast as
possible.

This whole thing wreaks of slowly decomposing milt
byproduct from man on man. In a landfill, of nothing
but diapers, catshit and fish guts. Maybe some
fruit in the interest of symbolism.

Larry Craig is a goddamn liar from every angle. He
lies about being gay. He lies about the morality of
homosexuality because he knows it’s not a choice. He
lies about his intentions in that bathroom and he lies
about his integrity, if he thinks he’s still worthy to
represent the backward ass rednecks in his state.
This is a man who led the charge against Clinton for
getting a blowjob from an actual woman.

This is a man who has crossed the line over and over
again in legislating against the the civil rights of
his own kind. He fucking stinks. He sucks. No pun
intended.

He is a sociopath and therefore useless to society.

Now he thinks he deserves to keep his job. What an
asshole.

Really. You have got to be fucking kidding me.

I would suggest to you Mr. Craig, that the best thing
for you to do is walk away. It’s the best thing you
can do for your family, you selfish prick, and the
best thing you can do for your constituents and this
country. It is time to look beyond yourself. I
wonder if you can.

Time to take a walk Larry, you are done and you
deserve to be.

Drinks for my friends.

Aug. 30, 2007
There’s nothing wrong with that. Except, he’s liar and a hypocrite too. Poor bastard covets cock, pines for penis and thinks that’s his worst problem.
A quick google reveals this self loathing elderly hunk of man meat has a 100% approval rating from the Christian Coalition. That’s funny. They HATE fags. I wonder if it’s congruent with how he hates himself, or a completely antithetical brand of fear and loathing.
Anyway. Another closeted hypocritical gay Republican elected representative, in denial and pursuing an overtly homophobic legislative agenda.
* Voted YES on constitutional ban of same-sex marriage. (Jun 2006)
* Voted NO on adding sexual orientation to definition of hate crimes. (Jun 2002)
* Voted NO on expanding hate crimes to include sexual orientation. (Jun 2000)
* Voted YES on prohibiting same-sex marriage. (Sep 1996)
* Voted NO on prohibiting job discrimination by sexual orientation. (Sep 1996)
Source.
For fuck’s sake this guy has been in power and under a cloud for decades.
Restless leg syndrome. That’s all it was. Now that’s funny. I have to admit I stole that from an e-mail read out loud on the Cafferty File.
In case you missed my point; my disgust is about his behavior outside the bedroom, train staion or airport bathroom. I think he sucks (sorry, I crack me up) because he’s so disturbed that he’s dedicated his life to punishing his own, merely because he hates himself so much.
More and more, that mentality seems to prevail in our body politic and ever more acutely in the GOP. Foley was how long ago? They knew about Foley and you can bet your ass they knew about this deranged prick.
David Dreier anyone?
The ‘07 GOP family values schadenfreude. On tour and in a TV near you. They’ve begun to eclipse Catholic priests in the arena of depravity.
This month alone, Snow, Rove and Gonzales walk.
Again, the damage is done. All three walked away whistling.
Your seeing a full on slow motion implosion of a political party.
One can only hope that the thus far invertebrate Democrats can find the courage of the people’s convictions and lead according to principal and the will of WE THE PEOPLE.
That is our only hope, so I’m scared shitless.
I don’t typically do this but I’d like to take this opportunity to rub your goddamn noses in some pretty obvious shit. The answers to most of our problems as a country and those of the world at large are generally pretty obtainable; just an arm’s reach opposite the remote for most of us.
Ethanol from corn is an egregiously stupid idea. More expensive, less miles per gallon and enviromentally disastrous. Hemp you fools! Hemp solves all three and textiles too.
Sorry. I digress.
Obama and Hillary are the political equivalent of ethanol.
What I want you to know is that this time there is a legitimate Democratic candidate for president of this once great country. His name is Dennis Kucinich and he is a real cowboy.
The only one to openly oppose the war publicly before it even started and the only one to vote against it every time. The only one with the sack to introduce articles of impeachment in congress for Cheney. The only one with a comprehensive health plan, a not for profit health care system for every American. The ONLY ONE not beholdin to BIG PHARMA, ENERGY, INSURANCE, DEFENSE OR FINANCIAL. The only one.
Among the smartest. Definitely the most honest. My mother says he’s too liberal. She is wrong. He’s a common sense centrist. He is what we need to have a chance at cleaning this mess up.
If I’m right about Americans, he has not a hope in hell.
Prove me wrong? Pay attention? Please?
Drinks for my friends.

I don’t know why, but for more than a few months now
I’ve thought of Attorney General Alberto Gonzales as
“Gertie”. He seems more Gertie than Gonzo in
light of his polite and soft spoken testimony that
revealed him to be either an even tempered retard or a
shameless liar.

Of course Dumbya stuck with him til the end cause he’s
a cowboy and that’s how they roll. At one point,
after Gertie uttered some version of ‘I have no idea’
over seventy times in one sitting in front of Congress, Dumbya said
something like he had even more confidence in his
ability to lead the DOJ.

Gertie stopped short of apoligizing for getting shot
in the face because he hasn’t yet been shot in the face.

High crimes, misdemeanors, felonies, overt obfuscation
and some comedy.

In the last month, Snow, Rove and Gertie all reflected
on Rumsfeld and realized, no one says shit about that
incompetent evil little prick anymore.

Each had his own epiphany. It went something like
this:

“I think I’ll tip the fuck out the door now. It’s
gettin mighty ugly up in here and if I leave now,
ain’t no way I gotta endure the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune
come the morrow, or hunt with Dick come fall. ”

The dipshitocrats say that the investigations will
continue. They will. But a deal has most likely been
cut. I’ll be suprised to hear much more from Gertie
or Rove or Snow for that matter.

After all, we’ve heard from Rumsfeld just once. It
wasn’t about profoundly inept war mismanagement that
resulted in a loss of life in the neighborhood of a
million souls.

It wasn’t about torture and death sanctioned by him.

It wasn’t even about our men and women not having
adequate body armor or safe vehicles to deliver candy
and flowers in.

We heard from him on lies, deceit and a cover up of
the death of an American hero named Pat Tillman. As
big a deal as this is, he was called on the carpet for
the death of one man.

Think Gertie has much more to say on illegal wiretapping or firing of US attorneys for failing to dig dirt on voter fraud among Democrats? That’s a goddamn punchline by itself.

It’s all over but the shouting. The damage has been
done. The havoc has been wrought. You won’t see many
more departures. The rest will ride it out.

Dumbya has no idea how to drive. They let him put on
the captain’s hat and take the wheel whenever he’s had
a bad dream or his inner cowboy feels insecure, but
they don’t let him spend a waking moment without a
hand up his ass.

Although he did compare Iraq to Vietnam last week.
I’m thinking a greasy dinner, maybe possum, allowed
him to slip off the hand, however briefly.

His handlers slapped their foreheads and forgot about it. He says stupid shit all the time.

Happy trails America. Dick Cheney is now completely
in charge. Don’t doubt for a second that he intends to run this ship as far onto land as he can. Full steam baby. Here we go.

“When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.” -HST

Drinks for my friends.

I just want this human piece of shit to go away.

I turn on the television tonight for the first time in almost a week and I am confronted with Michael Vick’s “apology”. An apology that he was forced into. An apology as a last resort. An apology that was a last ditch effort if he were to ever have a chance of playing football again.

Then, video of animals howling in pain and fear as they are bested by another animal.

He drowned animals for losing. Fuck him.

He blamed it on immaturity. Fuck you Michael Vick. You are damaged. Your soul is polluted. You deliberately thieved innocence from the innocent.

You deserve nothing but agony. You deserve no second chance, not a second of peace ever again. You should be forced to fight for your life everyday without even being able to understand why. When you inevitably lose, you should be drowned, violently by someone you love.

I hold an exclusive and unique brand of hate in my heart for you, a man I’ve never even met.

For your sake, I wish for a hell, so that you may burn in it.
Forgive me, I will not utter his name again. I promise.

Drinks for my friends.

More TV.

Christiane Amanpour’s extensive piece on religion
titled “Gods Warriors”.

I watched most of it.

Fascinating and perhaps comforting on a certain level
to find practitioners of faith even more completely
insane than our own brand.

Scary because they have more conviction and less
hypocrisy.

Ironic they live in an arid region that supplies the
big blue marble with oil while the world’s breadbasket
drowns because of America’s abuse and control of the
filthy nectar sucked from their sand.

Religion is at the core of this conflict. It is the
fundament. It is why we are where we are. Neither
side of the marble will relenquish it’s imaginary
friend. Both sides insist that it’s imaginary friend
is morally superior to the other. By virtue of that, each side
is confident that it’s imaginary friend can kick the
other’s ass.

Yet, it was not the Muslims or the Christians that
poured nitro on this acient and acrimonius pile of
smouldering camel crap that has us on the threshold of
a third world war. The first where we are capable
of entirely erasing ourselves.

It was our government. Dick-in-Bush, a spineless
congress and a complicit judiciary.

Welcome to the fifth grade.

I gotta tell ya, I’m not happy to see proof that
they are just as gullible, dogmatic and stupid as we
are. Christian fundamentalists scare me every bit as
much as Muslim extremists.

It’s kinda like being in a dive bar. A small one.
And there’s two dumbasses that don’t have enough sense
to realize that the shit they are stirring will end up
with at least one of them bleeding bad on the floor.
As well as the real possibility that they’re both
packing and will kill each other and more than a few of
the rest of us.

That, my friends, is where we are. Organized religion
is comprehensively culpable.

Religion took the bait.

Religion smiled, held out its hands and
accepted the kool aid along with a formula to make
it available to the masses. They then followed
through with glee. They paid it forward.

We are in a war of religious ideology.

I’m about to piss a few of you off.

Faith* is stupid. Creationism is retarded. All you
people who buy into God, in any traditional sense, are
willfully ignorant.

Your goddamn beliefs are the root of most of the evil
ever perpetuated and precisely the reason the world
has remained in chaos since man has been able to write
about it.

The single most important reason I loathe organized
religion is it’s complete disregard of logic. Of
Science. Of what makes sense. Empirical
discipline.

There’s a sixty thousand square foot museum in
Kentucky dedicated to creationism. One diorama after
another of modern man hanging out with dinosaurs. A
sprawling complex in 21st century America, dedicated
to picking it’s nose and looking out the window at
every theory, fact, and mountain of evidentiary
information mankind has been able to compile
throughout history.

No apologies. That’s really stupid.
You have got to be fucking kidding me.

I don’t know if the Muslim religion has a parallel for
Santa Clause but I’ve always viewed Christianity as
Santa and his list of good and bad kids, for adults.

See all religion has long since been usurped by
avarice. Faith and bureaucracy do not mix. It is a
recipe for corruption and myopic pursuit of power and
control.

My point is this: If we are to prosper as a species on
this tiny blue moist spec of dust in in a universe
beyond our imagination, we absolutelty must learn
humility. We must discard these archaic and obsolete
notions of superiority based on distorted views of the
way our world was made and/or the badassness of our imaginary friends.

We are an accident. A biological coincidence lucky
enough to flourish and achieve consciousness. It
is imperative that we stop our bickering and begin to
be grateful for our barely consequential existence.

Walk it off people. Set it aside. There are things
so important you cannot begin to imagine them.

You want to worship? How about worshipping where your water comes from? How about the planet that sustains you? Your family and friends and all the people you’ve never met and won’t ever meet? Art. Kittens. Whiskey.

*What I’m talking about here is blind unchecked faith.
All I know, is if I were to observe merely faith in
the context of day to day, I would end up residing in
a cardboard box.

I am an agnostic. As such, I view your God, in
whatever form you believe it to be, as without proof
of superiority, or even existence. I don’t care. All
I want, is for you to refrain from trying to insert it
into my life, our society, our government, our world
and MY FUTURE.

Drinks for my friends.

Forgive the metaphor, I apoligize for beating a dead horse.

Michael Vick, quarterback for the Falcons agreed to cop a plea today. I’m honestly not paying much attention because I’m almost positive he won’t get what he has coming.

I think this worthless piece of human shit should have to fight everyday in prison for his life and then be strangled or executed when he loses.

I hate when public sentiment reaches a fever pitch and the self righteous opportunists rise to the top and show up in the media.

I am somewhat loathe to find myself in their company. Nonetheless, I stake my position on this. I have less than zero sympathy for this man.

Animal abuse is a common thread among serial killers and a clear red hallmark of sociopathy.

Any man who even tolerates a fight to the death between innocent animals for entertainment is one damaged and evolutionarily obsolete crumb of human detritus. Any man or woman that views it as sport and finds it entertaining should be lobotomized.

Fuck him and his friends. I’m done.

Drinks for mine.

Tonight on TV:

First time I’ve watched in weeks it seems.

Stewart owns another analysis of candidates particularly
when making fun of ABC for focusing on Kucinich’s
wife. It was odd, He focused on her hotness, with the
subtle implication that America is not ready for a
woman like this as first lady.

I’ve said the same thing.

Doesn’t she have a tongue ring?

Are we starting to take my little paste eater seriously?

Before that, Katie Couric talked about Leona Helmsley.
I understand that she was a cunt and that she was
very philanthropic. Obviously I never met her but she
just looked and acted like a miserable ugly woman.

Leona Helmsley was the epitome of what money can do to ugly. Amplify it. Her grin was a collagen softened rictus. She was the fucking Grinch. She was Cruella DeVille. Who honestly gives a mad fuck that she took the dirt nap. Fools and family.

Moving on. Then I saw a movie trailer and apparently Kevin Bacon is revisiting De Niro circa Taxi Driver. Looks cool though.

And the Halloween movie has a pretty cool trailer. The first one was a classic.

A few minutes into the Colbert Report and even though he’s funny, I’m annoyed.

Pause.

I’m a ram’blin guy.
Apostrophe, blin.

So one day a few months back I’m in the piss trailer
out in the warehouse taking my afteroon
constitutional. No air conditioning. I finish, wash
my hands and wipe the sweat off the my
neckhead and forehead.

I hear the unmistakable whelp of infant kitties.

Rick, our fearless leader, discovered four when taking
out the lunch trash. Found a box and carried them in.

He’s good like that.

I emerge to discover Timmy washing filthy week old
lumps of feline varmint in the sink of the piss trailer next to the
one I just came out of. Everyone else stands around
talking about what should be done.

I was kinda damaged by their appearance. They were in a bad way.

Today she is a silky sleek black medium sized kitten
with a spiderweb trailing from her left ear past her
shoulder like a stringy snot. She’s simultaneously
cautious and fearless. Adventurous but respectful.
She has the longest tail I’ve ever seen on a domestic
cat.

She’s the epitome of adorable and I do adore her.

Her eyes are almost orange and she’s figuring me and the Gurry out pretty fast while living the ultra care free lifestyle of a pampered kitten.

Without a doubt the Gurry rocks the alpha female.
Hissing and growling with plenty of ears flat stinkeye.

On that day her eyes weren’t even open and she looked
like she’d bathed in used motor oil. She appeared the weakest.

I was most worried most about her, but The Fish bottle fed them and
massaged their special bits to get them to pee. One of the four failed, thankfully not her.

They were then named Sumo, Spider and Bedhead by the Fish.

As of tonight, Bedhead resides with me and The Gurry.
Much to the consternation of the Gurry.

Bedhead’s eyes are like precious stones sparkling on a jewelers
cloth.

All good kitties strut. This one spent the day in the
Gurry’s super secret hiding place deep inside the walk
in closet. I think this is a pretty awesome move on
the part of Madame Bed Head.

The Gurry spent the day on the stove.

She’s getting tons of love. Both of them.

On my right, Bedhead plays and dances. On my left The
Gurry watches while she softens. Methinks it will be
ok.

Cats are the shit.

Drinks for my friends.

It occurs to me that of all the reasons to resist
impeachment of either of these two executive
dickheads, heh, the most compelling is the idea that
the Democrats, eyeing a possible win in ’08, are more
than happy to allow the consolidation of executive
power to continue so that they will literally be
seizing control upon prevailing on our electoral
college.

Pretty fucking scary. They already gave Dumbya an ass
pocket of torque to do whatever Cheney tells him when it
comes to penetrating the lives of our citizenry
without ever having to tell a single soul.

Then the bastards took a vacation.

My knee jerk was, “what a bunch of complete pussies”.
I was astonished that the dipshitocrats were still
ambulatory at all after literally folding in half when
their spines mysteriously evaporated after just one
round of the war funding bout.

Picture it. Really. Harry Reid, once a boxer, bent
so completely backward at the waist that his head
scrapes the ground as he stares from between his own
feet, his trunk pulled along by his legs like an
afterthought.

Turdblossom then flees the scene with his balloon head
buffeted by the velocity of his escape. A deal was
cut there kids. I doubt you’ll see anymore
persecution by our newly elected majority of America’s
very own Lex Luthor.

Maybe I’m naive, but I’m not sure how much I want
to know about this rabbit hole.

I’m not stupid. I understand that a lot of them sleep
in the same bed as well as share the same bathwater.
They may awkwardly mingle dicks given they’re
so clueless about homosexuality. Even the gay
ones.

Hillary and Obama lead both parties when it comes to
meeting big pharma at the crossroads and stuffing
their undergarments with filthy lucre.

Yet I still wonder just what the fuck is going on
here.

I am firmly of the opinion that it is the fundamental
responsibility of our legislative branch to seek
impeachment of our executive leaders for defying the
Constitution of The United States of America. Indeed,
for making such an egregious mess of everything they
have touched. For the nearly one million dead. And
for shamelessly lying about it every step of the way.

Regular Dick-in-Bush report cards qualify them for the short bus and helmets at the mall. Despite this, with the exception of Conyers and Kucinich, they refuse to even discuss it.

What gives?

Clinton got what I hope was a rockstar style hoovering
and lied about it. Nixon was actually complicit in
petty crimes and lied about it. In both instances
congress pretty much handed them their asses.

What gives?

What’s it going to take?

Do we need video of Cheney eating aborted babies with fucking
ketchup? Maybe he’ll use the wrong goddamn fork and
then we’ll nail his ass.

Like I said last time around, the damage is done. The
pooch has been raped with violence and merciless
repetition. America is now a poodle pulled along on one of those
skateboards from the fifties with metal wheels.

The rest of the world laughs, sheds a tear, sighs or
fears they who pull the crippled creature across the
world stage.

For seven years, the Democrats have been guilty of
aiding and abetting and there is no end in sight.

They want to pull the dog across the stage for awhile.

You have got be fucking kidding me.

Man I fucking hate these guys.

Drinks for my friends.